Letters to the President #1319: 'Highlights… and Lowlights from the convention'

Reporter's Note: I write to President Obama all the time. I’m sure we’re both tired of it. Ha!

Dear Mr. President,

I just wanted to run down a few of the odd moments I’ve encountered during my stay at the Republican convention here in Tampa. I’m sure I’ll get a whole new collection of them next week at your Democratic gathering too, but I thought I’d pass these along in the meantime.

-I went for a run along the waterfront and saw an osprey flying overhead holding a small fish which kept wiggling. (Who could blame it?) Moments later I spotted a wet, dirty Santa Claus hat on the shore. It was like jogging through a David Lynch film.

-While roaming around the convention hall, I was set upon by a man who wanted to hold an extended conversation about redistribution of wealth. No matter how times I assured him that I am a journalist and accordingly have no opinion that I’d care to share on the matter, he kept after me like a dog on a pork chop.

-I passed a giant fiberglass elephant in a hotel lobby, went into the men’s room, and while an attendant refreshed the towel supply, I heard Janis Joplin singing on the speakers overhead. “Take another little piece of my heart…” It just seemed peculiar.

-While waiting in line for a Cuban sandwich, I heard some woman in line behind me come completely unhinged about something that had happened in some behind the scenes meeting about the vote in Virginia. I have no idea what she was talking about, but she was really going at it.

-Kid Rock performed (at least so I am told) somewhere, and very late in the night as we headed back to our hotel we passed a river of very happy young Republicans who told us it was awesome.

-And last, but far from least, I saw some sort of protester… heaven knows what his cause was… wearing a rubber boot upside down on his head, and blowing into a plastic, inflatable bat. When it was full, he proceeded to yell some phrase I could not possibly make out and started whacking himself on the head. It was wild.

That’s it for now. As you can probably tell, after a week of talking politics, listening to speeches, watching interviews, and running into politicos around every corner, I’m getting balmy. Hope you are well. Call if you can.

Regards,
Tom