Letters to the President #1277: 'Me for VP!'

Reporter's Note: President Obama is running for re-election; Mitt Romney would like to upset that plan; but either way, both of them will have running mates.

Dear Mr. President,

I just want to let you know, in the spirit of full disclosure, that it is highly unlikely Mitt Romney will ask me to be his Vice Presidential running mate. Oh sure, it could happen, but I suppose I could be chosen as Miss Teen Nevada, but it is a “long shot” as they say in Vegas.

In some ways, that’s a shame because I would make a great second banana for any administration, Democratic or Republican. I’m really good at sitting around. As much as I like being in charge, I also recognize the headaches involved, so it’s not like I’ll spend every hour of every day hoping for my shot at the top. I can attend a ceremonial event with the best of them, and when a president needs a trial balloon floated no one could do it with more gusto.

That said, I’m not sure how I’d do on the campaign trail. I’ve covered enough of you folks out there, and it just seems exhausting. All that baby kissing, roaming around state fairs, and fund raising. No, that’s not for me.

On top of which I really could not tolerate the fund-raising. Once when I was a kid my church youth group had to sell these decorative prayer plates and I kept a box of them in my bedroom for what seemed like months. I just hated asking people for money. I figured if they wanted something (even a prayer plate) they’d go to the store and find one. This is one reason I would never have cut it as a salesman.

Yet, all that aside, I still think I’d make a great Vice President. So if Biden decides to bow out, and Romney doesn’t call, you might want to keep that in mind. You know where to reach me, even if the D.C. crowd doesn’t know what to make of me. Ha!

Regards,
Tom