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Viewer
"Stay with me on this, I have a chart for each of the next 1,460 days of my first term as president."
Courtney Brooke
Staff
"As my sign points out, if we just enact all this legislation; these five groundbreaking bills, we'll create ONE job.no wait, that can't be right."
Tom Foreman
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See the word "American" hides any mistake.
This sign was made by union workers in the good ol USA and cost us a fortune!
Look at my fancy dancy chart...it means nothing but isn't it just too cute?
Texas is on fire and our friend gov.rick perry is running for potus while his state is in crisis where are your priorities ,gov.
Look what I can do.
Really hope they buy this stuff, cause I have no idea what I'm talking about.
"Buy my book, will be exposed this weekend at the NEVER NEVERLAND Bookstores and at the Crap R' US near you".!!!
You can fool all the people some of the time - no,wait, I misspoke - You can fool people some of the time - dang, wait, let me check my hand.
"This whole competitiveness gambit sounded a lot better before Perry came on the scene!"
Stay with me on this, I have a chart for each of the next 1,460 days of my first term as president.
The contents of these acts is top secret, but fantastic.
"And by 'American,' of course I mean 'New Englander American.'"
Day is spelled D A Y. One is spelled O N E.
How does one legislate competitiveness? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Uh.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
DAY TWO,
Guess Who Got Laid Last Night?
DAY TWO,
Deal With Most Favored Nation Retaliation
DAY THREE,
"Dear Diary. I'm losing time again."
DAY TWO,
Ask Barack Where he Left the Remote
In previous years, that would have read "Extend America's Technological Lead Act."
And if I am not elected, I will vote against any such bill.
"That was then, this is now. Don't compare what I say I'm gong to do with what I have done."
Turn it up! This is my favorite reality show.
Is that a used car behind the placard?
Day Two
Well, that didn't work.
Ironic, how every piece of legislation is labeled, "Act."
Day One and I'm done. I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, too bad for you sucka!
I can't believe everyone fell asleep.
You actually understand what I plan to do? You're not supposed understand what I plan to do.
I truly believe no one will notice this sign doesn't make any sense at all. Based on that, I believe I'll be President.
Can you plesase cover your left eye now and read me this line?
Two hundred people applied for just one job?
"Does that say America?"
I am not sure if this is where I leave my caption, but here goes....And today's lesson is written in English, you do know how to read English?, Don't you?
First was "The Day After" now is "Day One". What else is Hollywood coming up next? "Honest Politicians"?
It's a win-win! These new jobs paying five dollars a day will get the unemployment stats up and me elected.
I can't believe someone just did that.
Well. Um. Ah. I don't know why I didn't make this a PowerPoint presentation.
Let me point out what I plan to do.
Job one... Day one.... Is all about #1...ME, I need a job!
This is just ONE example of what we can't do right now....
Everyone please cover your left eye and read this line aloud.
Give me your company and I will downsize it for a price.
Day One, American Competitiveness, Open Markets. D.A.C.O, kinda rhymes with wacko, but thats another story folks, I am not wacko, i have a non wacko certificate right here.
Day One, I solve the unemployment problem. Day Two, I'll fix the economy. Day Three, I fix the Health Care system, Day Four, I tackle something really difficult....praying away Michelle Bachman.
I'm telling you America, It's just that simple! Unless President Obama tries it, then, its BAD for America.