November 6th, 2010
09:00 AM ET

Letters to the President: #656 'Slurpees: The presidential beverage?'

Tom Foreman | BIO
AC360° Correspondent

Reporter's Note: President Obama, rather unexpectedly, has weighed in with his opinion of a frozen treat sold in convenience stores. So I am weighing in with yet another letter to the White House.

Dear Mr. President,

I realize that you were just making a joke with that crack about a Slurpee summit with Republicans, but the more I think about it, the better it sounds. I mean, the beer summit didn’t look so good, so why not give another beverage a shot? (Although I’m not really sure if a Slurpee qualifies as a “drink.” Hmm…maybe you better get the FDA on that before things get messy.) Anyway, here are the advantages as I see them.

First, Slurpees come in a nice variety of thoroughly unnatural colors, fitting in with the Alice-in-Wonderland motif of DC. You can give the Republicans neon red, Fanta Wild Cherry ones, and your Dems can suck up the Blue Woo Hoo Vanilla. (And yes, I am led to believe that those are real flavors from a website dedicated to helping people track down their favorites through interactive Slurpee maps. Amazing.) Not sure what you should do about the independents, although Peach Mango might work for them.

Second, Slurpees are really cold. That might help lower the temperature on some of that overheated rhetoric you pols are so fond of whipping at each other. Beyond that, if you drink a Slurpee too fast it gives you an “insane-sociopath-I-can’t-stop-the-voices” cold headache and that should keep folks generally from being in too much of a hurry to disagree.

And third, well, the mere presence of Slurpees ought to tell everyone in the room, “Hey, we’re dealing with serious issues, but let’s not take ourselves too seriously. After all, we’re sitting around a conference table with the leader of the Free World and we’re drinking Slurpees.”

I suppose you’ve seen that the 7-11 people are completely coming unhinged over this. Can you imagine what it means to corporate types to have the President of the United States mention their product in a positive light and call it delicious? It’s like winning the endorsement lottery without even buying a ticket. Good for them, I guess.

Anyway, if you want to try it out for size, swing out to the neighborhood this evening. We have a 7-11 not far from the house and you and I can walk down to try some out. Maybe we’ll even get a fruit pie! Now that would be a summit! Ha!


Follow Tom on Twitter @tomforemancnn.

Find more of the Foreman Letters here.

soundoff (One Response)
  1. Debra Fleming

    My parents are in their 70's and both have health problems. especially my dad . To see their primary physician cost them $15 per visit and specialty visits are $25. My dad can have 3 or more specialty visists in a month ! At $200 a month plus co-pays for medicines and my parents could have to choose between food,medicine or another mortgage on a home paid for just to cover Doctor visists and medicine ! Healthcare reform Mr. President, tax breaks for the wealthy ? Seriouly !! No benefit in my family.

    November 8, 2010 at 2:07 pm |

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