Video: Adoption and rejection

soundoff (9 Responses)

1. Lin
   

   While I neither excuse or condone this adoptive mother's behaviour, most parents – biological and adoptive – never believe that their child may end up with a mental illness and what the cost – financial, emotional, and physical – will be. Sadly many of the "resources" Dr. Aronson mentions are incredibly expensive. If, for examply, this child was found to need extensive residential therapeutic resources and facilities, it would cost the parent(s) an average of $25,000 a month. Given that reactive attachment disorder is not recognized as a diagnosis yet via the DSM, their insurance company would not pay for this therapy.

   And yes, there may well be some parents who are in denial regarding their child's issues, but it's not only adoptive parents. I see it all the time with biological parents too. A classic example are the parents of the children who bullied the Irish Massachusetts girl to suicide! They are all in denial and refusing to take any responsibility for their children's behaviour!

   April 13, 2010 at 7:09 pm | Log in to Reply
2. Kimberly
   

   We adopted from Eastern Europe and were lied to about our child's background and health. Our agency downplayed all of the child's health issues and assured us everything was fine. Once home we realized we had a child with issues far beyond what we expected. I don't know why Dr. Aronson would assume the adoptive mother was not lied to.

   April 13, 2010 at 7:07 pm | Log in to Reply
3. Ann Marie
   

   It is not true that parents are not educated about these issues. Our agency did, as any other good adoption agency would also do, a wonderful job of educating us on things to possibly expect, and telling us all the resources that are out there for help.
   And, how do they know if a little attachment therapy or ANY sort of therapy would have helped that boy? They didn't even TRY. They just bypassed all that. Now, we will never know.

   April 13, 2010 at 5:02 pm | Log in to Reply
4. Brittney
   

   Until you have actually lived with a child (adopted or not), who has behavioral or emotional issues, you can't imagine how much a small child can turn your life into a living hell. No one actually believes that such a sweet, beautiful child can be so disruptive, sometimes even evil. So many times the adoptive parents have no idea what the parental background is on these children. Could have familial mental illness, drug exposure, suffered physical, sexual or psychological abuse. Adoptive parents just don't know. This woman obviously felt she had no alternative but to give the boy back. Granted, she used poor judgment, but may have been pushed into a corner, and when you are dealing with a screaming, hitting, kicking, biting child, 24×7, it's hard to think clearly and rationally.

   April 13, 2010 at 4:57 pm | Log in to Reply
5. george in MD
   

   we have enough bad damage druged kids here at home already, so why add to that foul by those crazy parents who want to adopt damage kids or unwanted kids from brutal undemocratic countries...so, I say send them back and close the doors and start take care of those bad damage ones we have here.

   April 13, 2010 at 4:48 pm | Log in to Reply
6. Jane Clark Beaver
   

   Am I missing something here? Had this family had any contact with any service organization here stateside to have this boy evaluated? There are many around and many that have access to interpreters to help translate if there are language issues. Even if they were not told by the Russians of any problems, I certainly would never bring a foreign child to this country without having service organizations here aware of my situation and standing ready to help if needed. And I would certainly expect that some transitional help would be needed in any case with any child who is brought into a strange country with strange customs, etc; let alone a child with special needs.

   April 13, 2010 at 1:54 pm | Log in to Reply
7. Sara
   

   Great report and commentary by Dr. Aronson. Thank you.

   April 13, 2010 at 1:24 pm | Log in to Reply
8. Howard
   

   Anderson Cooper,
   Based on circumstances I would have sent the boy back too. From my understanding there were some extreme issues with this boy that would have never straighten out & based on his actions already it was an event ready to explode with seemingly good people who would have been extremely hurt or possibly even killed. Which one of you will be willing to take him & face the consquences? I look at the fact you all are probably all talk & no action. Let the Russians deal with him...

   April 13, 2010 at 12:38 pm | Log in to Reply
9. Michelle Fox
   

   RE Jane Aronson's comments. I am the adoptive mother of 3. 2 of my boys from Russia. Ms. Aronson claimed the family was not lied to during the adoption process. I disagree with her opinion. We were blatantly lied to numerous times during out trip to Russia. Not only by the administrators handling the adoption, but by the orphanage director herself. They lied about numerous issues, including the physical and emotional stablility of our boys. Ms. Aronson claimed that families are well aware of the resources out there to help kids who have severe attachment disorder. I disagree. Most adoptive agencies provide no support after the adoption and most adoptive parents have never been told or taught about attachment disorder. Most adoptive parents have no skills to handle a child with this problem and are completely unprepared. These children are capable of tearing a family apart in a very short time without proper handling. I've seen it first hand.

   April 13, 2010 at 12:12 pm | Log in to Reply