What's the big fat deal?
Editor's Note: Nia Vardalos is the star and writer of the 2002 smash hit, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” Her new film, “My Life in Ruins,” is in theaters now.
[cnn-photo-caption image=http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2009/images/06/12/art.vert.nia.jpg caption="Actress Nia Vardalos arrives at the premiere of 'My Life in Ruins' on May 29, 2009 in Los Angeles, California." width=292 height=320]
Nia Vardalos
Actress/Writer/Director
It’s just weight. Just 40 pounds of fat now gone from my body, but wow, it’s pretty much all I get asked about. In the last year, I got to star in a movie, wrote and directed my next one, and adopted a three year old from American Foster Care. But guess what I’m asked...how did I lose the weight?
I am embarrassed to be in the position of answering questions about my body again. On the publicity tour of 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' I was asked over and over again, if, as the writer, I felt it was a fair depiction of real life to have someone of my er, below average looks, hook up with hottie John Corbett.
It’s been years, and I have sat through many a movie like Sideways, where nobody blinks an eye when Paul Giamatti gets together with gorgeous Virginia Madsen. And, then 'Knocked Up'….well, the visual of Seth Rogan on top of Katherine Heigl made me put the popcorn down and reach for my purse. Not because I was grossed out but because I knew the film was about to stop and Ashton Kutcher would now jump out and go “aha, you’ve been punked, that would never happen.” I waited. But no Ashton. The film went on. And many a reviewer, who probably look like sweet Seth (yes even the women) gave it a thumbs up.
Yes, there’s a double standard for women. Whatever. Yawn, we all know it, perpetuate it – we make it worse every time we buy a magazine showing “Stars with Cellulite.” And women, we do buy those magazines. Yes, we do. No, not just at the airport – you have a subscription, admit it. So do I.
So, it’s our fault. Let’s accept it and move on. Socially, the issue of men’s weight is simply not a big deal. Let’s face it: Russell Crowe is fat and no one ever talks about it. Alec Baldwin just orders his suits a size bigger and we continue to swoon.
So, what exactly is up with my weight loss? I get hit with this awkward question daily and have answered it in press interviews, at the grocery store, at the newspaper stand. Why? Because I see their anxious, open faces needing the secret, the new pill, the cure, anything. Just please share the secret. So I hesitantly answer and am always met with the same response: the glaze-eye slack-jawed face.
Because they don’t want to hear the truth: I had a blood sugar problem so my Doctor ordered me to lose weight, it was really hard but I did it through diet, exercise and it took a year.
This is when the boredom sets in on the querying person. I might as well just shove an Ambien up their nostril. The gleam in their eye fades and they get sleepy.
No one wants to hear the facts about weight loss. It’s simple. Take that bag of Doritos and throw it as far as you can. Now chase after it. Pick it up, do it again.
Or don’t. You don’t have to lose weight, unless like me, it becomes an issue of health. I thought I was attractive when I shot 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding.' Studio executives and movie reviewers let me know I had a confidence in my looks that was not shared by them. In other words: they labeled me with words like, overweight, unattractive, unappealing. Hey, just say fat. I love the word fat. I used it in the title. It’s actually not a naughty word. We give it a power it actually doesn’t have. So, you’re fat. Big deal.
If now, I have a sudden validity because I look different on the red carpet, check out my Before pics on my Twitter. (@NiaVardalos) I am showing what happens before Team Miracle comes over in the Hazmat suits and works on me for a few hours. Anyone can look like they make me look. That’s why most malls offer a Glamour Shots booth.
I am just telling you the truth.
Here’s another fact: A studio executive recently asked me to change a male lead in a script to female because “women don’t go to movies.” He went on to explain some studios were no longer making female-lead movies because women don’t go to them.
Wow. I pointed out 'Sex And The City,' 'Mamma Mia,' and 'Obsessed,' and he called them “flukes.”
He shrugged and explained he was just telling me the truth.
I wonder, is this the truth? Do we support female films? My film is out now and Sandra Bullock’s film 'The Proposal' opens soon. (Gasp, is she talking about a rival studio’s movie?) Yeah, I am. See it. See us both (just see us first, we’re low budget.)
So, I ask, can we tell that studio executive the truth? That women do go to the movies. Can we speak up with our wallets? Or did you doze off?
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Nia, Thank you so much for bringing up the fact that TV and movies have such a huge issue with average looking woman being in relationships with hot men. It is all you see in TV sitcoms anymore. An overweight gentleman with a perfectly figured honey. Will other movie writers and directors please follow suit with Nia and let the not so cute chicks get the hot guys. It really isn't that far fetched, no really!! FYI-Nia, you are in the beautiful catagory. Thanks for your movies.
OMG. You are my newest hero. Thank you for being honest, forthright and so right on.
May every woman read your words and take them to heart. AND, let's go out and see your movie – twice and Sandra Bullock's – twice.
May we women learn to love ourselves, thighs and all.
Brilliant!
hi nia. in my own experience, it seems that people around me have a perpetual issue about my weight and physical appearance. since childhood, i've heard of words that's been used to describe me: a little on the heavier side or fat or chubby or big boned. although i wasn't a bit bothered myself, i really think you still feel pressured nonetheless. on the other hand, i didn't really mind asking for a bigger size if a blouse won't fit me (it's a different issue though when they say it's the biggest size already). so when i saw your "big fat greek wedding," i really thought it was like a fairy tale patterned after me (same as "bridget jones' diary"). i'm glad these films are able to send a message that even a fat girl can score a good-looking and a real nice man. so what about my size? it's 12 and i know it's just a number so i can buy clothes that i like. if it's not on size 12, sorry to me but more sorry to those who don't market that size because it means no purchase, no sale and no profit. film producers think only men go to the movies, didn't they know that even in simple dates women oftentimes decide which film to see? and now that it's believed that there are more women than men, i guess that makes us a bigger market audience to penetrate. also, tell them to simply check on the telly and count the number of products advertised for men and women and they will see that products aimed at women wins hands down. so yes, women still go to the movies. anyway, thanks for sharing your talent to us, nia and i look forward to more of your movies. how about writing us a novel? *wink *wink
what can I say that hasn't been said already?! Amen to ALL you've said!
True. And this is how I deal with the different standards. I tend to emphasize only those films thta a woman probably had a strong hand in casting–either because the lead female is a box office ledaer (Jolie, e.g.) or a woman is either at the helm as a director. In these movies, suddenly the men are taller, thinner nd better looking.
Whenn former high school male nerds make the films, there is always disfavorable beauty diffferential to women. But I'm not going to allow the nerds to live out their fantasies on my ten dollars. As a female, I deserve better.
While I do think that all women are beautiful and should be comfortable in their size, women also need to understand that there are health risks that come with being overweight, even 10 pounds overweight. I am an average-sized 26-year-old woman, not thin, not fat. But I work out to maintain my body, and if I lose weight, that's a bonus. I do not want to gain weight because I know how uncomfortable I would feel, but I also do not want to gain weight because I see the poor health that my overweight parents are in. Nia, I think you are beautiful; I love My Big Fat Greek Wedding and thought that you looked like stunning – not thin, but not fat either. You looked normal. You looked like me. While yes, women should celebrate their bodies and be comfortable at their size, they also should recognize that being thin – or average – is not just a matter of what "looks good," more importantly, it's a matter of what is healthy.
You know, I suspected something was up when I went to see Cold Mountain, Chicago and Moulin Rouge. Women? What women?
Only men went to see Juno, Rachel Getting Married, Bride Wars and Devil Wears Prada. Come to think of it, only men read Charlaine Harris books and Vogue Magazine.
Women don't go near yoga studios or shoe stores, nor do they socialize in Starbucks or on soccer fields. Only men know how to apply mascara properly, and can distinguish between pantyhose and pantyliners. Men do all the grocery shopping and cleaning. Don't even TRY to ask a woman where to find duvet covers in Bed, Bath & Beyond...they're just BARELY an emerging market.
HILARIOUS!
That exec will be all up in your business looking for the sequel when your movie goes to #1 and stays in the top 5 for 2 months, kissing your butt and elbowing you about how funny his "joke" was.
Ms. Vardalos, thank you for being so candid. Good to see someone in the business not taking it too seriously.
ps. Corbett was hot, but he was no Clooney. Regardless, your character could have gotten either one!
You have ALWAYS been a knockout, don't under estimate yourself.
Boy are Paul Giamatti and Alec Baldwin going to be pissed at you!
I didn't think Nia Vardalos had "below average" looks to start with. She looked damn cute in that chick flick about the Greek wedding. In fact, they had to "uglify" her in the beginning of the movie so it would seem like a big transformation when she looked more like her real self. Of course, many of the men in that movie are made to look like idiots (her dad with the Windex obsession, her immature brothers), but other than the implicit sexism, it was a good movie and she looked great in it.
Go Nia!
Miracle weight loss just doesn't happen. Thanks for sharing the truth. Now about movies – I love action adventure, and I wouldn't miss an Angelina Jolie movie. But a woman's size isn't what makes a movie a chick flick – it's her heart, her soul, her fire.
Men just think women are as shallow as they are! LOL!!
yay! love this article! for the record, you are and always were beautiful, and equally as important, your inner beauty always shone through in your humor and kindness. in the real world, 'attractive' comes in all different shapes, sizes, colors and ethnicities. in the movies it comes in very few and doesn't reflect real life! to that studio exec who said woman don't go to the movies, a) WRONG. i go every week, and always with another girlfriend and b) maybe we'd go more often if we saw strong, funny, 'differently beautiful' women in the movies who reflect the beauty that's outside of hollywood in the real world!
I'd tell you that you're amazing, but you clearly already know that! 🙂 I'm following you on Twitter now. Keep doing what you do.
It's about time somebody had the courage to say that. I've always said that if I had been born in Hawaii a few hundred years ago, I would have been a beauty queen! They loved their woman fluffy.
Nia – you were attractive in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I've always thought you were beautiful. your smile, your brains, and yes, your "fat." Have a great life and please keep making great films.
AMEN Honey. Great article and Congratulations on your adoption!! I would much rather hear about your adoption and work than your weight.
The discussion of weight is so annoying and the celebrity standard is ridiculous. I was recently asked if I found it difficult to get a date since I am "bigger" and had to laugh since I'm a size 8.
As a woman, I can say that I typically do not go to movies because they are mindless dribble made by men who think I do not have a brain. My Netflix queue is full of smart movies with women as strong lead characters, not some mindless ninny chasing a man not worth her time. I will definately make a trip to the theater to see My Life In Ruins and look forward to being entertained by you.
The Seth Rogen comment was dead on. That was the most disgusting scene I've seen in a movie...ugh. I'm going to be one of the hated people on here that is tall and genetically thin no matter what I eat (sorry!) but the double standard in Hollywood definitely exists. I love your personality, and you're beautiful inside and out! I'm not saying I'm not vain (creams, nails, makeup, tanning, etc. – there is an expectation to be met when you're a Texas girl), but I've come to learn to love myself for who I am.
Loved this article!
I'm very proud of you for losing the weight you did. But, let me be very clear: You were very attractive before, and you are still very attractive.
The lady I'm seeing now is obsessed with what she sees as being "fat". She's rail thin, and always has been...ever since I first saw her years ago in high school. But, because of a false image projected by Hollywood and many fashion magazines, she feels that she's fat, among other "attribute shortages".
I've pointed out to her many times that the image projected is only a that: an image. Is Kirsten Dunst attractive? Yes, but not because of her weight. Is Kirstie Alley attractive? Yes, but not because of her weight. Is Nia Vardalos attractive? Yes, but not because of her weight. Each of these women are attractive because of some inner beauty that appears onscreen. They're real women.
Which is what I keep telling my lady. She's a real woman, not somebody's image of one. Also, I remind her that I fell in love with the whole woman, not a collection of body parts. And a real woman is the most attractive of all.
So, Nia, you tell those folks that there ARE men that don't fall for the illusion...some of us look for the beauty inside.
I so agree with you. I'm overweight, and my husband makes me feel like the sexiest, most beautiful woman in the world! And, I like my curves. And, its seems, so does a lot of men. I think the skinny obsessed culture we live in today, can be directly blamed on the gay movement. They want all women to look like little boys. I think some men find curvy women, intimidating. There is definitely a double standard at work here, but I could care less.
I Loooooove this article. I never exercised throughout my 20's priding myself on the fact my body could take whatever atrocities I ate and still look great...guess what at 28 my to be husband thinking I was in great shape took me to hike the Inca trail in Peru...its a wonder I didn't plunge to my death trying to climb those stone steps! I think I must have really loved him ;o) (still do) I sucked it up and endured.
Thus slowly starting this quest of getting in shape. I guess my point is no one came after me cause I looked thin but that doesn't mean your healthy or fit it just means you are deluded enough to think a small dress size makes everything ok.
And why don't women go to the movies..... There aren't that many option out there that we want to see!
Fantastic. Loved everything – especially the attitude and the reality check.Congrats on your adoption by the way... from a fellow adoptee. I somehow missed that news while Bikini Kate and her 8 were tripping across the tabloids. Blessings to you.
Dontcha know that most of those movies "execs" also look like Seth Rogan. And these guys have the audacity to criticize.
I thought she was hot in 'Greek'.
She's right in that there is a double standard, although when I saw 'Greek' I didn't even think twice about those two as a couple. It made sense to me.
I think she's also right in that women perpetuate the weight issue. Men do, as well, of course, but sometimes I wonder if women make the problem bigger than men do.
I personally don't have a problem with a woman having a little fat on her. I prefer an hourglass shape much more than the sought-after stick shape that is so prevalent in today's media. Curves are sexy. Hips are sexy. Being rail-thin is not!
What I think is really sad is that so many men just follow along with what they're told by society is sexy, rather than making up their own minds. I just don't see how being able to count a woman's ribs when she has her shirt off can be the least bit sexy. Men date these women because they're told that is what's hot.
Quit being sheep, guys, and make up your own mind!
Thank you, Nia, for being yourself! I hope more women follow suit.
"I was asked over and over again, if, as the writer, I felt it was a fair depiction of real life to have someone of my er, below average looks, hook up with hottie John Corbett." I wonder if whoever said that realized how insulting that was to men, not women. It implied that good looking men don't look beyond the packaging to the product inside. It implied that men are like "Shallow Hal."
I loved "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and have heard it was an accurate portrayal of the whole affair.
I may be a fat woman, but I am not boring, and certainly not obsessing about my looks all the time. I am who I am, love me or hate me. At least with me, what you see is what you get.
Beautifully written article because it was not just written by and for Nia; it was written for women everywhere.
Well said on all counts! After losing 20 pounds myself through diet changes and training for long-distance running, I came to the same realization. The fact of the matter is, weight loss is never easy, it's rarely fun, and it takes stamina and a strong dose of will. Keep up the positive vibes and confident spirit!
I'll be honest. I'm a woman and I hate chick flicks. Sometimes I will go to them because they're usually PG and I need something to take my 12 year old daughter to. Give me an action or thriller to see any time. I enjoy women in the movies if they're there food the good of the movie and not just there to be eye candy. I don't like to see women acting giddy over their weddings or in bikinis with machine guns. Just me.
Wait...you weren't attractive in MBFGW? It took more makeup to put you in the frumpy look.
It's the truth, however, that you rarely see GENUINELY unattractive women in title or supporting roles unless they're playing "Unattractive Woman #3". More dudes make movies, and dudes are attracted to physical beauty. Lots of dudes aren't attractive, so they make flicks where the homely guy gets the hot girl. Unattractive dudes then see the movies.
On the other hand, women have the crappy romance novel niche completely cornered.
I absolutely LOVE you Nia, and all the power to you to tell all these people to get lost about weight issues... I've always been overweight as a kid & after having a premature baby (I gained 40 pounds during my pregnancy) I'm now losing my excess baby weight, but I LOVE myself regardless if I'm 20, 30 or 40 pounds less, and so does my husband.. As long as you're healthy & love yourself above all else, everyone who matters in your life will love you too... As a sidenote, My Big Fat Greek Wedding is one of my alltime favorite movies, BTW 🙂
What a super article! You say what I have always believed. You were beautiful then and are beautiful now. It is a shame that intelligent, talented women are degraded because they are not thin. I am looking forward to seeing your movie, Nia! Keep on telling it like it is!
I seriously don't know why everyone makes so much issue about women's weight. When I married, my wife was a bit plumpy and everyone said you can get someone so better. Even after going through so many ups and downs in life with me she has stood by me. No other woman could have showered me more love than my wife. Me marrying my wife remains best decision of my life.
Nia, I'm definitely a Nia Vardalos (before diet) type & my husband is all kinds of John Corbett, so it DOES happen & hey, he thinks I'm hot as do many men in my past life! THAT's what Hollywood will never get.
Amen, to you, girl! How refreshing to hear the "truth" not only about how you lost your 40 lbs., but about how "glamerous" we all could look if we had the "hazmat" team work on us! I love it. Most Hollywood star would have said, "oh, I eat all the time and the weight just comes right off" Yea, right! Or, "I hav NEVER had plastic surgery" as their smile starts to crack their face! Congradulations on your new baby. He/she is one lucky child to have a mother like you!!
Thanks for giving us a dose of realism. Pills and potions aren't going to work nearly as well as pushing away from the table or putting the fork down. I finally got tired of tight pants and shirts that hugged the rolls of fat on my belly. I got my butt outta bed, took it to the gym where I worked off 30 lbs. and 3 pant sizes in a year. While I'm far from a medically ideal weight, I'm much happier with my more toned shape, have tons of energy and love my new jean size.
There are no quick fixes–just inspiration to undo all the damage bad eating has done and it's gonna take some work!
Nia, you are one of the most beautiful women on the planet. You have a beautiful soul. I too am so tired of the anorexic, food starved idiots out there pretending to be actresses. We live in such a fabricated world these days. Looks at some of our past (and present) actresses – Liz Taylor, Sophia Loren, Maureen Ohara, Ingrid Bergman, Meryl Streep, Whoopie Goldberg, Queen Latifah, and you Nia – these are beautiful and talented women who look like women – not like little boys.
Thank you for taking a stand and understanding what is important. I wish you the best with your new movie and even more joy with your new addition to your family.
you speak the truth
i hate the double standards!
and you are gorgeous, no lie
Oh man! I am a 36 year old guy, and am completely shocked at how candid she is! This is my kind of woman! Her article further fuels my belief of how shallow most hollywood-types (and those bimbos/gigolos trying to emulate them) are.
Good for you Nia! Be real, because at least you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror afterward.
Well said! And like the comment above – I love movies! But I see the trailer, make a mental note to take in the matinee (read: cheaper ticket) and then life gets in the way and before I know it I'm reading the Sunday ads and the DVD will be coming "on Tuesday". Sheesh! But your movie is on my calendar and in my PDA and your article is now posted on my refrigerator. You are spot on and I love it! Thank you. (and all those female-lead movies you wrote about – all were exceptional flicks!)
Change is Change! What was once considered a good thing is now a horendous act against the body. We cannot expect to see those pounds on our bones and then move about as though nothing is going on behind the scenes. Whenever you get tired of being pill-pushers (hypertensive and eating disorder patients) and bone-crushing specialists (joggers) we will take a more educated approach of so-called natural habits.
We need to say "NO" to all the erratic food choices. Yes while food is vital for living, there are some diests and foods that aggravate any healthy person.
Why not teach us to include peppers in our diets? Why not push the cinnamon? Why not re-educate about the tomato and the garlic and onions? Why not the peanut oil over the vegetable oil? MONEY!!!!
Those store provided treats are delicious looking. They are murderous on the thighs and the taste is too sweet.
Casual stroles daily, sitting in the park for 30 minutes daily is a body treat – try it!
Best article I've read in the past decade. Thanks for speaking the truth!
Excellent article...I'm a woman and I see many movies!
Nia,
I think you are extremely beautiful, intelligent woman. Those skinny girls look sick and look like they will fall apart if you touch them. I love women with bodies like you they are so sexy and hot.
Actors & Actresses should be judged on their performance not on their looks. There was a woman a couple of years ago that is below average looking but she won an Oscar because of her performance.
Someting very interesting I saw on the Internet is what Megan Fox has said. Wish I can find it.
Women are going to movies more so then men.
My wife and I liked Seth Rogan until we read his interview in Playboy and we both agree that he is disgusting.
GF, Los Angeles hit it right on in his/her comments.
Congrats on the weight loss for your health issue only. I thought you looked lovely as you were but blood sugar is a big health sapper so, I'm glad you took it seriously.
congratsand a big THANK YOU on the baby adoption too.
Nia, you were BEAUTIFUL in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and don't listen to anyone who tells you differently! Seriously, people are just crazy sometimes.
I'm glad you were able to improve your health. Good for you.
Women DO go to the movies! My friends and I go all the time. So do my daughters. I should own stock in my local theater.
I love the candor and honest. Maybe people will pay attention and realize the truths of your writing.
Excellent Nia! It's incredible how many people constantly comment about superficial things and ignore the real issues. Nia is a great person - she cares for kids, is a great actress, is beautiful - and by the way she lost a couple pounds. People please STOP measuring people by the size of their waistline and begin measuring them by the size of their heart!
Thank you Nia for using your fame to speak for those of us who strongly share this same sentiment!!!