May 12th, 2009
01:14 PM ET

Donald Trump and his hair will now announce their decision

[cnn-photo-caption image=http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2009/SHOWBIZ/TV/04/16/lkl.donald.trump/art.donald.trump.cnn.jpg]

[cnn-photo-caption image=http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2009/SHOWBIZ/05/11/ent.miss.california.usa/art.miss.calif.cnn.jpg caption="Miss California USA Carrie Prejean may lose her crown, a decision to be made by pageant owner Donald Trump."]

Jack Gray
AC360° Producer/Writer

I don’t know much about beauty pageants. All I know is that if I were ever in one I would begin all my answers with “Well, Mario Lopez, as they say on General Hospital…” and end them with “…in conclusion, in no way am I in favor of world peace.”

My lack of knowledge notwithstanding, I am aware that today is a pivotal day in the controversy over Miss California USA, a woman by the name of Carrie Prejean. If you don’t know the story by now, well, consider yourself lucky and go back to watching your DVDs of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman.

The rest of you have probably heard that Donald Trump – employer of newly crowned Celebrity Apprentice winner Joan Rivers (and her face) and himself an inspiration to millions of college students majoring in Beauty Pageant Ownership – announced today that Miss Prejean will keep her title. As always, for in-depth analysis of scandals involving nude pictures and fake breasts, I refer you to my colleagues at PBS.

By the way, yes, I’ve heard the rumors that Miss Prejean was or is dating Olympic gold-medalist Michael Phelps. Mr. Phelps has reportedly denied those rumors, although if true they would explain my hunch that Miss Prejean’s position on same-sex marriage has changed: She now supports it, provided both parties are stoned.

Regardless as to whether or not you agree with the decision to allow Miss Prejean to keep her crown – or sash or fanny pack or whatever it is – the real loser in all of this is America. It has become painfully clear that – given the possibility conservatives may boycott future pageants – we may never get to see Dick Cheney don his Tina Turner wig and compete for Miss USA. I guess the country can only hope for the emergence of a pageant newcomer who is equally talented at singing “Anyway You Want It” while waterboarding an audience member.

CNN is, as you know, a global network. So, I’ve been trying – during my free time – to find out whether the Miss California USA story has an international reach. Of course my free time isn't as plentiful as it used to be, what with my habit of flirting with operators at the taxi complaint hotline.

I suppose whether or not this controversy is interesting on an international level is a moot point at this stage of the game. What could have been a civilized debate about an important social issue has devolved into a tabloid circus.

And, as with most things in life, it all comes down to Donald Trump.

And, of course, his hair.

Follow Jack Gray on Twitter @jackgraycnn

soundoff (71 Responses)
  1. Lori in Brooklyn

    Will the day come when thinking gay people are inferior is not a valid, respectable opinion to be defended, political position to be taken or mainstream religious conviction to be held? Please?

    May 12, 2009 at 11:11 pm |
  2. Jolene, St. Joseph, MI

    What are you saying Jack? That beautiful, luxurious, makes you wanna put your fingers through it, fine specimen of hair that Donald Trump is sporting is really his secret to making decisions?

    And all this time I just thought it was the gold-plated hair plugs doing all that talking. Go figure…..

    Thanks for blogging!

    May 12, 2009 at 10:39 pm |
  3. Lauren--NY

    Good one, Jack! Thanks!

    Let's hope this nonsense is over, yes?

    May 12, 2009 at 9:38 pm |
  4. Wendy

    I am so sick of people who "wont compromise their values" when it comes to judging others. What values did she have when she took off her clothes for money and then lied about it? For what? a pageant crown? And Trump said it wouldn't matter if she weren't so beautiful? Those are values?

    May 12, 2009 at 9:19 pm |
  5. Martin Trevino

    My father died in Vietnam when I was 3 years old. I have no memory of him. I firmly believe that like her grandfather, my father also fought for my freedom of speech, expression and life here in America. As Miss California stated “I exercised my freedom of speech and I was punished for doing so, this should not happen in America, it undermines constitutional rights for which my grandfather fought for!.” I can related, and have experienced the same judgments, ridicule, etc…because I’m gay and my freedom to live as an American is limited by laws (federal, local and state) that deny me the rights that have been freely given to Miss California. Where my Trump to the rescue?

    May 12, 2009 at 9:16 pm |
  6. hongli

    Trump would like to lay some serious TLC on her.

    May 12, 2009 at 8:56 pm |
  7. BonnieLovesColdplay

    I have no words... thanks Jack for expressing my feelings!
    Can we all just move on to more important things, like "Who do you think is going to win The Biggest Loser?"

    May 12, 2009 at 8:34 pm |
  8. Maite

    Gosh.... The world is facing a pandemic, the economy is bad, unemployment rate is almost 10% and you think I care who she dates? Or if she has fakes breasts? She has the right to express her opinion over gay marriages and the right to be heard, we have to accept lots of things from gay people, and remain quiet. I think she is beautiful and smart and could become the next Miss Universe, let her be....

    May 12, 2009 at 8:27 pm |
  9. Annie Kate

    So Miss California gets to keep being Miss California. I'm glad – after all the pictures were for modeling for a catalog of Victoria's Secret, which shouldn't be that big a deal, and she does have the right to her own opinion. If there are certain things she should say and should not say as Miss California at certain events then they need to give her an orientation course on it so she knows....this has been a big fuss over a lot of nothing.

    May 12, 2009 at 6:42 pm |
  10. BettyAnn, Nacogdoches,Tx

    Trumpmeister Jack!
    Yeah, I think we all knew that Donald would say that Miss Cali is Trumptastic. You know why? 'Cause he is a chauvinist of the swine kind. Just ask Rosie.
    Donald has a big case of the swine flew. That's when pigs fly.
    Past that I say that same sex marriage and legalization of marijuana snould not be an issue. Posing nude in a porn magazine at the age of 17 should. Geez~ What is wrong with this picture? Shake it polaraoid!
    In any case, Donald should try a new hair do. Maybe he could use John Edwards stylist? OMG! It would be PRICELESS to get rid of the Donald "do"!
    I am off to yoga class to meditate away the image of Mr.Appendix, or apprentice, and other of his lame ass bologna. ha! but it is really, really funny!
    Lotusly Yours,

    P.S. And I do thank you and your hair plugs from the bottom of my heart for the laugh belt out! luv ya Jack!

    May 12, 2009 at 6:00 pm |
  11. Theresa, Des Moines, IA

    Just wait- Miss California will be a contestant in a future Celebrity Apprentice. Maybe they can pit her team against Perez Hilton's team. Both of them are insipid, one point-of-view people and it will surely increase the entertainment value.

    May 12, 2009 at 5:55 pm |
  12. Rebekah

    @Jack – I absolutely love your writing style – really reminds me of a slightly more twisted and up-to-date version of J.D. Salinger. And i really hope you take that as a compliment because that's how I meant it but I really do love reading your blogs and the way you look at things so keep 'em coming =]

    May 12, 2009 at 5:45 pm |
  13. carole ann

    Trump made the right decision, if he got rid of Ms. California he would also have to ditch Ms. Rhode Island for her nude pictures. Why isn't all this liberal vitriol aimed at Obama, he certainly is in a position to influence more people's opinion than a beauty pageant constestant?

    May 12, 2009 at 5:40 pm |
  14. Lance Gayhart

    I find it interesting that Perjean passed "Satan's test" as it pertained to the question posed to her regarding gay marriage. Although I don't believe she could resist the temptation to wear polyester or other blended fabrics in her wardrobe. I suppose she's never had shellfish either.

    May 12, 2009 at 5:36 pm |
  15. B J Abdullah

    Just wondering why Perez Hilton has not been questioned about judging the Miss America contest with an obvious preconceived agenda about the gay marriage issue. So, his judgment is totally biased because of his own agenda. Shouldn't he be disqualified?

    May 12, 2009 at 5:26 pm |
  16. Tammy, Berwick, LA

    Unfortunately many important topics become fodder for the tabloid circus. What I find even sadder is that in the 21st century women still think they need to prove the worthiness of themselves and their daughters by being in a pageant. When we demand more respect for ourselves as women, maybe we'll get it. Here's what gets me. Miss California speaking for herself is one thing. Miss California speaking as a representative of her state is something entirely different. She disenfranchised a whole group of people by her bigoted statements. She should have lost her crown. Trump's hair care products must be pickling his brain.

    May 12, 2009 at 5:19 pm |
  17. Felicia

    I think when the world begins focussing on Donald Trump's hair again, and with this much intensity, it clearly means another life is in purgatory.

    May 12, 2009 at 5:17 pm |
  18. Dee from CT

    This was one of the water cooler conversations around here this past week. Many an hour was spent debating both sides of the controversy ... I was Switzerland – someone had to be – plus my love of Michael Phelps prevented me from taking a strong stand – if she was seeing him, if she wasn't ... you never can tell ... Of course now having read this I must run and make bright signs with big colorful font to post at every cooler in order to update everyone on the status of Miss California ... Thank you Jack as always!

    May 12, 2009 at 5:03 pm |
  19. Casey Jones - Palm Springs, CA

    Thanks for that insight. Now my day is complete!

    May 12, 2009 at 3:45 pm |
  20. Ingrid

    I think is very sad that we are in times where we cannot express ourselves anymore. Why they are giving her a hard time because of what she believes in??? I don't get it, it was ok for a guy who was running for a president to smoke pot during school, it was ok for Clinton to get BJ but he was a good president. So what is the difference with her. How she knew that one day whe will compete? If she would of known, she would of not have taken whatever picture she took BEFORE Miss USA.

    Mr. Trump give her a break. I am not even Happy neither with the last decision at the Celebrity Apprentice. Cmon' give people the credit for what they work, it should not be based on friendship. U are sending a wrong message to people who have admire you for ur hard work.

    May 12, 2009 at 3:34 pm |
  21. Rikki, Fargo, ND

    ..and I already had my TiVo set for Dick Cheney and his Tina Turner wig...dangit! Now I have to figure out how to deprogram it! 🙂

    I am glad that Miss California got to keep her crown...it seems that they were on a bit of a witch hunt to take it from her. Though I have now officially had it with this story...we need to move on!

    May 12, 2009 at 3:22 pm |
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