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March 10th, 2009
09:45 PM ET

Live Blog from the Anchor Desk 3/10/09

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Tonight on AC360°, there are reports that singers Chris Brown and Rihanna are in a recording studio working on a duet. That's even though Brown is accused of brutally beating Rihanna, punching her repeatedly in the face until she was bloody. He also allegedly threatened to kill her. Oprah Winfrey warns Rihanna he will hit her again. Tonight, we look at the question: Why do battered women go back to the men who attack them? Let's keep this live blog going on this topic. We'd love to hear your thoughts. Sound off below.

Want to know what else we're covering tonight? Read EVENING BUZZ

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Filed under: Live Blog • T1
soundoff (471 Responses)
  1. Esma

    @ Kira-In my case, no, he would have killed me. I think it's rare that someone can change that part of themselves. Violence is (typically) a learned behavior, and most abusers are just passing it along because they've been conditioned to believe that their method of dealing with frustration is the correct one. I don't think age has anything to do with it.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:58 pm |
  2. vanessa from silver spring, MD

    Goodnight All! talk to yall tomorrow.

    "What's Love got to do, got to do with it? What's Love but a second hand emotion. What's Love got to do, got to do with it, who needs a heart when a heart can be broken."

    That's my response to this Chris Brown Rihanna thing. What's love got to do with it. Rihanna needs to seperate herself from Chris because I fear that he will hit her again.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:58 pm |
  3. Maren in Oregon

    This hour has gone by really fast, Interesting stuff. Good night, Anderson. Good show, Good mix, despite the tragic breaking news. Interesting panels tonight, too.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:58 pm |
  4. Isabel, Brazil

    Good night, Anderson and Kira!

    Good night, David (Indiana), Megan, Casey, Gayle, Esma, Rikki, Brandi, Betty Ann, Vanessa, …

    See you tomorrow ll!

    March 10, 2009 at 10:58 pm |
  5. Maureen T, Canada

    Good night Anderson. Excellent reporting tonight, once again. Rest easy dear Anderson!

    March 10, 2009 at 10:58 pm |
  6. beth

    kira-
    most of the time the teen/young adult witnesses that at home

    March 10, 2009 at 10:58 pm |
  7. James

    Anderson: Who cares if the OctoMom is selling her story. Good for her. That is innovation and American! I love it. Glad she will have a nce home to raise her kids and hope they can be good members of society. Give her a chance and pay her for an interview. Help out a it! Don't be so mean!

    March 10, 2009 at 10:57 pm |
  8. Yiu-Lung Ho, NY

    Kira,

    A person can change but someone like Chris, it would be very hard. He has money and fame. Therefore, even if he loses Rihanna, he will still be powerful. An abuser will always be an abuser.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:57 pm |
  9. Vanessa, TX

    Goodnight Anderson, AC360 producers & crew..all my smartees..
    Esma, Vanessa, Chris, Ashley, Rikki, Megan, Betty Ann, Brandi... very good discussion..Enjoy your evening/night 🙂

    March 10, 2009 at 10:57 pm |
  10. Laszlo in VA

    Bea makes a good point A prosecutor friend of mine told me the story...)
    How each persons point of view is affected by his or her relationship to the abuser or and/or the victim.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:57 pm |
  11. Andrea, TN

    @Kira I honestly can't answer that question, whether an abuser can change or not. I do think they should try. But that the victim should actually stay with the abuser while he tries that just seems like madness to me. Leave him, let him work it out without you around for the times he relapses.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:57 pm |
  12. Isabel, Brazil

    Nadia Suleman .... again!!!
    No!!!!!

    Today there are many issues!

    And the sho is ending...

    March 10, 2009 at 10:57 pm |
  13. Glen Up North

    Why do abusees return to abusers? Because the promise of reconciliation and "changing him/her" sounds so much more like a "happy ending" than leaving the one you love. I've had times like that where I should've walked away but ended up coming back (though, thankfully, none involved _physical_ abuse). We've been conditioned to seek "happy endings" instead of our own safety and peace of mind. :S

    March 10, 2009 at 10:57 pm |
  14. Rafael

    @KIRAKLEAVELAND AC360°

    I do believe an abuser is capable of change but could return to being an abuser at anytime. Also it doesn't matter if you're a teen or an adult no body should be abusing anybody or anybody should be abused.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:57 pm |
  15. Ashley - Hamlin, NY

    Kira – No. You cannot say “delayed adolscence” makes it okay for a man to hit a woman. I know a lot of really great young teenage men. They do not hit women. And I am a teenage woman. I do not allow myself to be hit by a man. It’s not an excuse – don’t blame age. Blame maturity and pure cruelity.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:57 pm |
  16. gem-jersey city,nj

    Why are the students and the so called parents or parent not considered as part or most of the problem. I have a suggestion take the best teachers from the best schools and send them to the worst "SCHOOLS" and conversely send the worst teachers to the best schools. I believe the politically in correct problem will be obvious. This is why the problem has not been resolved. You must admit unteachable, disrespectful, undesciplined students exist and at a rather high percentage in certan schools. I firmly believe every child has a right to an equal education but what their bringing to the school room is far from equal. Teachers are not magicians nor should they be expected to be one.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:57 pm |
  17. starr formerly known as vincent

    Casey Jones

    Thank you for your comment. You are absolutely right ab out parent involvement in school! I am so proud of my daughter, step daughter and foster daughter. They ALL have become accomplished and well educated women. i'd like to think that my consistent invovement with them during the public shool years was a help. (i also taught two of my daughters to read before 1st grade...that helped a lot.

    Good night all...it's been a great blog tonight on several major issues.

    As always Anderson & crew you give us the best program of the day!

    March 10, 2009 at 10:56 pm |
  18. Rikki, Fargo, ND

    Man...I would give a TV interview if it meant a paycheck big enough to buy a house! But I wont have 8 babies to do it and I lead a pretty boring life...so I guess no TV interviews for me!

    Mexico just seems to be getting scarier and scarier as the days go on...I hope all the Spring Breakers down there stay safe!

    March 10, 2009 at 10:56 pm |
  19. Renee

    Does anyone know what happened to Octo-Dad? What about child support?

    March 10, 2009 at 10:56 pm |
  20. Ray Dayton Ohio

    Hey Anderson why is everybody focus on Chris Brown I do not agree with fighting woman but we know that a when a woman think her man is cheating she is not very nice .did she strike Chris or push first since it was reported that this started over a text from another woman nobody is even considering this

    March 10, 2009 at 10:56 pm |
  21. Emma

    It's crazy. She's unemployed and yet she can afford a $500K home. Additionally, I heard she's receiving free child care. Here we go again....rewarding people for being irresponsible.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:56 pm |
  22. Gloria, Brooklyn, NY

    Chris deal with your pain so you may heal.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:56 pm |
  23. Robert - Jakarta

    Just so we're clear on this: school "vouchers" do not give you freedom of choice. If you could not afford the $20,000 in yearly private school fees before, you will not be able to afford these fees with the $1000 voucher.

    This "voucher" steals money that should be going to build up schools and bolster their budgets and salaries to attract the best teachers.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:56 pm |
  24. Cristy Kirssin

    @ Shruti,

    It is too soon! That is rediculous! No one can forgive and forget like that–and they shouldn't! Make him get counciling, and even then, I still wouldn't trust anything he says or does.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:56 pm |
  25. Mike

    Charter schools will outperform public schools when they attract the best teachers. That will happen when performance not seniority drives teachers salary. That is accomplished by rating/ measuring/evaluating teachers on, content knowledge, classroom management, delivery of instruction and collegiality.
    " Our progress as a nation can be no better than our success in education." JFK

    March 10, 2009 at 10:55 pm |
  26. Lori from IL

    Kira - I believe someone can change if they acknowledge they have a problem and truly want to change - (they should also seek outside sources to help effect the change).

    March 10, 2009 at 10:55 pm |
  27. Shannon

    the reason people stay in abusive relationships is the same reason we all have stayed in relationships longer than we should. they have love, hope and believe things will change. coupled with women being raised to forgive and give people another chance are the most common reason women stay. but we can't forget fear of poverty and future violence.

    i have been an advocate for battered women for almost 20 years and this is a common theme among my clients.

    I love your show and Chris Tessler says "hello".

    March 10, 2009 at 10:55 pm |
  28. Isabel, Brazil

    Families – so sad!
    This time of loss is a pain insurmountable

    March 10, 2009 at 10:55 pm |
  29. jacqueline, ny

    Oh my! Where has the time gone? Good nite all!

    March 10, 2009 at 10:55 pm |
  30. Nattada, Houston, TX

    @Laura..I totally agree with you. Please leave for your children. I have not been in that situation, but there will not be good at all for them.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:55 pm |
  31. maria

    Hi anderson

    i was abused and by a boyfriend and i stay with the person for 3 years. i was 17 and scare, i believe he was going to kill me. I person that hit you one will do it again and again. so i can relay to Rhaina.

    maria

    March 10, 2009 at 10:55 pm |
  32. David Raye

    I am sorry to inform Oprah that although it is mre likely than not, It is not a 100% fact that if a man hits you he will hit you again. I agree that Rihanna is stupid for going back to Chris Brown but I am not ging to say that for sure it's because he will hit you again. Rather, it is too soon to beieve that he has truly remorsed. I also have heard that she started the fight by assaulting him first when she found out about a text message or something? This doe not mean that it was open season for him to hit her back and beat her but self defense is a staple of our society and system and one shoiuld never forget it.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:54 pm |
  33. Sabrina

    Anderson- big kudos to you for always keeping the conversation between your guests civil even when they do not agree. I can't stand shows that allow guests to have shouting matches.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:54 pm |
  34. Kelly - Harrisburg, PA

    I think this is why building self-esteem in girls is so important, so that if they do find themselves in this situation when they are older, they will know they don't deserve that treatment and get out.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:54 pm |
  35. KIRA KLEAVELAND AC360°

    Do you think an abuser is capable of change? What if the abuser is a teenager/young adult, does that make a difference?

    March 10, 2009 at 10:53 pm |
  36. Lori from IL

    @ Casey Jones - I agree with you totally - parents should be involved in their child/children's education every step of the way ... well said!

    March 10, 2009 at 10:53 pm |
  37. Sam M.

    @LisaL – i agree

    March 10, 2009 at 10:53 pm |
  38. Skyler, NY

    This is extremely sad, the ONLY reason there is national attention is becuz the two ppl involved are FAMOUS! Otherwise, ppl view domestic violence as a "private issue"! This is crazy, I sincerely hope that battered women (and there are alot of them) aren't getting the wrong message from Rihanna & CB getting back together. I just hope that this issue being brought to the forefront helps women who are being battered everyday. In many cases, these women don't know how to get out of the situation!

    March 10, 2009 at 10:53 pm |
  39. Bridget - Minnesota

    Andersen – The Rhianna and Chris Brown situation is sad but unfortunately domestic violence is not limited to just the poor and uneducated but also to people with talent and money. These are two kids we are speaking about who until they hit it big in their careers did not come from areas where this is not the norm. I don't think Chris should go to jail because I think he just needs to be educated that his actions are unacceptable. Rhianna thinks that she is in love, however she also needs education to understand that love does not involve violence. My heart and prayers go out to these two kids –

    March 10, 2009 at 10:53 pm |
  40. Brian

    Incentive pay for teachers is unfair and unjust. Each and every year you get new kids with different learning capabilities and disabilities. A teacher needs to be evaluated by the potential each student achieves. I believe in holding teachers accountable, but that is like expecting a crew of road workers to build a road that will never have a pothole! It can't be done.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:53 pm |
  41. Bea

    A prosecutor friend of mine told me the story of a mother who showed up in the office out of the blue one day and pled for the prosecutor to be lenient on her son. She kept saying tearfully over and over "He's a good boy." Her "good boy" had knifed a kid to death just to steal the victim's expensive sneakers. I think about that story when I think about Rihanna's decision.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:53 pm |
  42. Miranda

    Anderson.

    Great questions and informative show tonight.

    Have a nice night one and all make it awesome.

    Miranda

    March 10, 2009 at 10:53 pm |
  43. Michael

    Hi Anderson. I used to work with the children of batterers. What used to amaze me was that even the children tried to act as if nothing had happened. I agree with Oprah. It will happen again. I think the victims simply go into denial mode and won't face the truth. If a batterer will not attempt to seek help and change his or even her behavior, that person is like a time bomb.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:53 pm |
  44. Cristy Kirssin

    He is creating a bad reputation for himself. Good luck if he wants to get married one day! Any smart woman wouldn't get near him with a ten foot pole.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:52 pm |
  45. Lizz

    Why do abused women stay in or return to these relationships? All I can say as a FORMER abused woman, abusers are the masters of manipulation and work on our weaknesses and fears and keeping us away from the 'right' people. People I had known for years could not believe that me, a ballsy, brassy, bright woman was being battered.

    Took me fourteen years to get smart and brave at the same time, but I did it. Has now been eight years since leaving that life, and trust me, it was not easy. But why I stayed? I could write a book...

    March 10, 2009 at 10:52 pm |
  46. Jo Ann, North Royalton, Ohio

    It is up to women to stop the violence, they are enablers when they stay with these guys.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:52 pm |
  47. Ron

    How many men get attacked but the man gets prosecuted? No excuses for men hitting women but the question remains.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:52 pm |
  48. Sam M.

    I think all this controversy is necessary, I think its good that there are so many people trying to reach out to Rihanna. Yes, she is an adult however, that doesn't me she deserves less attention or less help.
    And yes the person has to want help. However, that person also needs to understand how big of an issue this is. Many people my age don't view this as such a big problem. Many people just view this as 'something that happens'. Plus, when people reach out to Rihanna, they are sending a message to other victims of abuse.

    March 10, 2009 at 10:52 pm |
  49. beth

    If Rhianna can't muster up enough respect for herself to get out and go on with her life, then I guess they are made for each other

    March 10, 2009 at 10:52 pm |
  50. Heather - Spokane, WA

    My psychology class has been talking about this and they have said that the reason why women stay is because they believe they can change them. The reason why women think this is because nowadays women are labelled as the changers and are supposed to 'change their man' to be what they want him to be. I dont know whether or not to believe this but I have heard on more than one occasion that women are supposed to change their man and make them settle down, but can you really make someone settle down, whether man or woman?

    March 10, 2009 at 10:52 pm |
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