February 26th, 2009
11:38 PM ET

On the Radar: Cheaper to keep her

Maureen Miller
AC360° Writer

In this recession, struggling couples are finding "for better or for worse" it makes sense to stay in an unhappy marriage. With disappearing assets, Mr. & Mrs. can't afford an expensive divorce. There's also the cost of living on your own.

Friday on AC360°, Randi Kaye looks at why the bad economy is pushing people to stay in a bad marriage. And, not only that, some private investigators say the economy is killing the hanky-panky business, as well. Fewer people are willing to pay the cash to have a private investigator trail their cheating spouse. It can cost about $15,000 a week.

Randi hit the streets of Boston with a private eye who says his calls for "domestic surveillance" are down 70%. He reveals where couples are secretly meeting these days. It's not where you'd expect. Many lovers can no longer afford the Ritz or Four Seasons.

See you Friday at 10 pm ET.

Filed under: 360° Radar • Maureen Miller
soundoff (14 Responses)
  1. Cristy Kirssin

    It is cheaper to keep her, or him because you can split the expenses when your married. Its a good economic decision. It's a good business decision to stay married for better or worse.

    Baltimore, Maryland

    February 27, 2009 at 4:53 pm |
  2. DRKellogg

    I have heard that it takes around 2 years to really know someone. Of course you can't legislate things like this, but I would definitely recommend (barring extenuating circumstances) people spend at least that time frame getting to know each other. Also, I recommend NOT getting married in your early 20's. The amount of personal growth a person goes through between age 20 and 30 is phenomenal and in my opinion, better suited to getting to know yourself rather than another person.

    February 27, 2009 at 12:42 pm |
  3. Tom

    The Joe Biden comments on "what is the number"for recovery.gov.. in some sense is true...to give the poor "not so internet savoy guy" a break...every internet domain name has an IP address or a number..so I think we should give him a small break.."just once".

    February 27, 2009 at 11:11 am |
  4. natalie

    What happened to love, living within your means and being happy with what you have? Why as couples do we always want more than what we can afford? Our children don't need a 3,000 sq. ft. house or a new car, they need a mom and dad who love eachother and look out for thier best interest. If this ressesion does nothing else maybe it will help us look at the things that are most important in our lives. That would be our families.

    February 27, 2009 at 10:59 am |
  5. Patricia

    It's all the same. People who get marrried shouldn't get bailed out.
    When you get married you take a vow for better or worse, right?
    It's all a waste of my time to comment on this subject anymore than I have. I have a sick dog at home that worth more of a conversation.
    My last pet visit was 1,100.00 dollars do I just leave that cause it's doesn't fit in my life right now?
    Anderson I'm speechless

    February 27, 2009 at 10:34 am |
  6. Butch

    Mariah from Texas, I agree with you 100%, My mother has been married 5 times and my father 3, there is no way I would ever fall for that trap. I remember my mothers fifth wedding me and my sisters started laughing when they got to the part about tell death do us part.

    February 27, 2009 at 1:14 am |
  7. Mariah from Texas

    Why do people get married anyways? The divorce rate is sky high. I say, think long and hard about the person you want to spend the "rest of your life" with, be responsible, and realize that 99% of the time, its not happily ever after. Call me pessimistic, but I like to think of myself as realistic.

    February 26, 2009 at 11:15 pm |
  8. Leigh, Charlotte, NC

    It is true. I am a divorce attorney and people can't afford to live apart without significant sacrifices in lifestyles. But unfortunately, the lack of assets and income can lead to more explosive separations and even domestic violence. When people do separate, it is out of necessity and it is an absolute mess. We are seeing foreclosures, bankruptcies and violence. Children are witnessing the most uncivilized behavior imaginable. With less to divide, no one has enough to start over in two comparable homes and we are seeing one side have to move back to seek parental support which can also mean parents living far apart from their children. I guess some would call it a silver lining that keeps couples together. I of course, wouldn't see those couples.

    February 26, 2009 at 9:39 pm |
  9. Larry from SC

    My brother in-law just jumped out of his 10 year marriage. Now he will live life like a minimum wage worker, while earning a 6 figure salary. Too funny! He'll be living a hoopdie life for a long time – all because he just wasn't happy. Go figure – it's a facebook world now...

    February 26, 2009 at 9:28 pm |
  10. Clarence

    If happiness is just about assets, I say dump the toxic.... spouse, or house.

    February 26, 2009 at 9:20 pm |
  11. sharon, sydney, cape breton

    If the relationship's not working, it's not working. I don't care how bad the assets get, I think the two should part. A miserable relationship isn't going to get better when the rest of their world if falling apart. Despair in a healthy couple can bring them together, in an unhealthy couple it will push them futher apart. They will just have to learn to separate amicably from now on!! I know, I know, good luck with that!! 🙂

    February 26, 2009 at 9:14 pm |
  12. Lisa - Australia

    Depreciating assets, prohibitive cost of living on your own, financial sensability; now there's the language of love and and makings of a great relationship...

    Crickey $15,000 a week for a private eye.
    What's the estimate on a real and honest conversation?

    February 26, 2009 at 9:05 pm |
  13. Annie Kate

    Evening Maureen

    Cheaper to keep HER? What about HIM?? In today's socio-economic world its not always the man who provides the main cash flow for the family. Some men take a lesser job because their wife's job holds more promise if she can pursue it without worrying about uprooting him; some men just live off their wives; some men make a pretense of working (at a very low paying job) and live off their wives while being extraordinarily lazy at home too and whine about wanting a maid.....guess which I have!

    Divorce is expensive. But its more than dollars and cents if you have children. If you have children and a bad marriage but not a bad marriage that results in domestic violence, try to stick it out until the children are out of the nest and off to college. Divorce has a big negative impact emotionally on the kids even years after the event – I know because I found out the hard way. Its a pain sticking up with a spouse you don't care for anymore that long; but its a bigger pain feeling guilty about how your actions messed up your child – that guilt can last forever.

    February 26, 2009 at 8:59 pm |
  14. Amanda Walton-Fort Erie, Ontario

    Evening Maureen

    You said it in a nutshell. DIY home surveillance equipment should come down in price for those who can't afford the P.I. but then again even if you do find out your spouse is cheating, like you said no one can afford a costly divorce or separate living expenses, so why bothering knowing.

    Stay Safe

    February 26, 2009 at 8:36 pm |

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