AC360° Associate Producer
I finally saw them. Rod Blagojevich’s bangs. I saw them with my own eyes and I lived to tell about it. The disgraced Governor of Illinois had just finished up Larry King Live and was, I can only assume, on his way to steal money from terminally ill children when he passed me in the hallway here at CNN.
It all seemed to happen in slow motion, us walking toward each other. It was a perfect example of why I need someone to follow me at all times with an iPod boombox playing the theme song from Chariots of Fire.
The governor had quite a large entourage, though I’m unsure if they were Illinois State Troopers there to protect him or U.S. Marshals there to make sure he didn’t flee the country.
As he approached I quickly considered whether or not to say anything to him. I opted not to; not because I didn’t have any questions – Why did you try sell the senate seat? Who is paying for your trip to New York? Do you have any advice on what I can do about these split ends? – but because there’s an unwritten rule that if someone is willing to come into CNN to tell their story we don’t hassle them in the hallway.
I mean, sure, there was that time I blew kisses at Angelina Jolie. And Robert Redford, I still owe him an apology for asking him to record my outgoing voicemail. But, Blagojevich, I didn’t want to delay him from getting to his next interview with Dionne Warwick and the Psychic Friends Network. Plus, I have a fear of dandruff.
We made eye contact, the governor and I, albeit briefly. He knew, of course, that I knew who he was. He smiled slightly in that corrupt politician sort of way. Believe me, he may have told Larry that he was innocent but the smirk on his face in that hallway said “only my hairdresser knows for sure.”
Mrs. Blagojevich did not appear to be traveling with him. Unless she was downstairs in the Columbus Circle subway station mugging little old ladies.
He walked confidently and appeared to be soaking in all the attention. But looking into his eyes – dollar signs where the retinas should be – I could see that this is a man who knows his time is running out. A man who knows all that remains between him and impeachment is a segment of basket weaving with Martha Stewart. A man who knows his best hope is that his plane goes down in the Hudson River and he’s able to swim to New Jersey and start a new life as a bouncer at Jiggles Gentlemen’s Club.
The next thing I knew, Rod Blagojevich was getting onto the elevator and I was walking back to my desk. And checking to make sure he hadn’t stolen my wallet.
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