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January 26th, 2009
10:38 AM ET

You are what you eat...which is why I'm normal and you're a freak

[cnn-photo-caption image=http://i.l.cnn.net/cnn/2008/LIVING/homestyle/08/26/rs.fake.it.with.takeout/art.takeout.rs.jpg]

Jack Gray
AC360 Associate Producer 

The great thing about America is that people never hesitate at the opportunity to inform others how strange they are.  Take, for example, my co-workers.  To hear them tell it I have abnormal eating habits when in reality all I said was “I hate pizza and anyone who eats it in front of me should be put on a deserted island surrounded by sharks.”

Yes, that’s right.  I don’t like pizza.  I love bread and I love marinara sauce but I don’t like pizza.  Why don’t you call Rick Sanchez and put it on Twitter.

I’ve also never eaten a bagel, never drunk a cup of tea and consider egg salad to be Public Enemy Number One.  And don’t get me started on potato chips or anything that has in its name the word “loaf.”

Stop looking at me like I’m an endangered species.  You’re the one who eats cole slaw, not me.

Anyway, my own food preferences notwithstanding, I’m a staunch believer in the nutritional value of the four food groups:  grains, dairy, Twizzlers and Dentyne gum.  All I’m asking is that you keep your avocado smoothie and pile of bacon away from me.

And the answer to your question is no, I have never tried bacon.  It smells bad and looks like something I plucked from the tread of my tire after careening into a bayou.  And, come on people, why would I bother trying something when I already know I hate it?  Stop being so illogical.

Oh, by the way, I don’t care what you say; I refuse to believe I’m the only person who has his mayonnaise shipped from Massachusetts.  So please don’t try to make this about me.  I’m the sane one here.  After all, I’m the one who knew he hated gnocchi without even tasting it.  That “gn” consonant pairing, that “nyo” sound, I am ALL SET with that scene, thank you very much.  Just typing it makes my sinuses hurt.

What do I like, you ask?  The same thing any totally-not-picky eater loves: spaghetti, lobster, and peanut butter cups.

And no I don’t find anything contradictory about being from New England, loving lobster and never having tried clam chowder.  So take your gotcha politics somewhere else.

I actually like most fruit, too.  Bananas, oranges, strawberries, blueberries…the list goes on and on.  Just don’t show me a pear or else I’ll curl up into the fetal position.  And grapefruit, well they’re the reason I wake up screaming in a cold sweat at 3am.

I’d much rather have Cheerios for breakfast.  Though not with milk.  Cheerios with milk?  I’ve never heard of such a ridiculous thing.  Everyone knows you eat Cheerios dry with a glass of ginger ale.

Seriously.  It’s as if I’m the only normal person here.

Post by:
Filed under: 360° Radar • Jack Gray • Nutrition
soundoff (65 Responses)
  1. EJ (USA)

    I don't know if someone has already said this but – how does the thought of bacon on pizza make you feel Jack? : )

    When I was in college, Papa Johns came out with this bacon and pineapple pizza and one day I had a craving for it. It was not bad. I don't think I ever had that particular pizza again but it really wasn't bad.

    I love pizza but had to cut down on it because it was getting more expensive. I love Sbarro's pizza which is probably about $4 a slice now at the mall. Is that what NY pizza really tastes like? (not that you would know Jack) All that cheese, sauce, fat, and cholesterol – just yummy.

    January 27, 2009 at 12:25 am |
  2. Jacqueline, NY

    Hey, Jack! I was thinking about your pizza-dislike dis-order. Maybe the good Dr. Gupta can help with that. Perhaps he could help find that missing link in your noodles upstairs. LOL!!! 🙂

    January 26, 2009 at 10:38 pm |
  3. Jolene, St. Joseph, MI

    Jack:

    Finally, someone who eats their cheerios without milk! I thought I was the only one!

    So I got one for you.........how about dipping french fries in soft vanilla ice cream? Hmm Hmm Good! Right up there with peanut butter cups and my other favorite, chocolate covered pretzels!

    All this talk of food is making me hungry now..... 🙂

    January 26, 2009 at 10:25 pm |
  4. Betty Ann, Nacogdoches,TX

    Jack~You love most fruits. I was just wondering, do you like most nuts too? 😉

    P.S. I love clam chowder and gnocchi 😀

    January 26, 2009 at 10:16 pm |
  5. Julie San Diego, CA

    Hey Jack,

    Funny post as usual. I love pizza but am allergic to some of the ingredients so I hover over my friend's slices and ask to sniff them. Nearly as good as eating the stuff. If you see some weird chick sniffing pizza, that's me.

    January 26, 2009 at 9:50 pm |
  6. yeloman

    Mr. Jack! You said you like fruits... or most fruits. Is Durian included?
    Just wondering 😉

    Ice

    January 26, 2009 at 9:31 pm |
  7. Don, WA

    I like to dine like a grizzly bear when I can: salmon with huckleberry sauce, and a honey micro-brew beer – and then a long winter's nap.

    January 26, 2009 at 9:05 pm |
  8. Jessica

    Dear Mr. Gray,

    I do not think that you are a freak, at least, not a complete one. 😛 While you refuse to put milk in your cereal, I drink it with tea, and yes, without sugar. While you cannot stand pizza, I cannot stand wine. All of a sudden, I hear a crowd of health afficionados disapproving and yelling "No!" Forget about my arteries and more oxygen pumping into my heart, I love beer. Oh, and, don't let Giuliani hear you loathing pizza. He's one of those pizza freaks.

    January 26, 2009 at 8:19 pm |
  9. Masa

    That. Was. Awesome. I must say I don't eat pizza myself and I don't like bacon either and it's so true how people are so quick to judge. I, however, don't like lobster and do like clam chowder, only the New England version, since I'm from there as well 😀

    January 26, 2009 at 8:08 pm |
  10. RR

    Jack, you are back in Full force! but angry I must say...May be you are still struggling from the optimism and hope from last week!

    January 26, 2009 at 8:00 pm |
  11. Lisa

    What was it that Yewell Gibbons always said ... "Ever eat a pine tree? Many parts are edible". Have you considered asking Sammy if she would share her Milkbones with you? They really aren't that bad – have no discernable flavor. If you had horses, I'd suggest sweet cob. And there's always the stem of hay to chew on.

    I don't do clam chowder either and I grew up in Bay Area of CA. I don't do lobster any more as well - bad experience. Crab, well that's a different story. Oh, and I prefer the apple-cinnamon Cheerios. I can snack on those all day and reduce my cholesterol as well.

    Um, you do drink wine ... or beer, correct? Those have redeeming health values to them. One can always find justification for they eat if they try hard enough. A good red wine and chocolate – got the fruit, got the anti-oxidents going. What more could one want!

    January 26, 2009 at 7:10 pm |
  12. David, Costa Mesa, CA

    Jack:
    My Italian ancestors are turning over in their graves at the thought of someone not liking gnocchi! My grandmother made these for "special" occasions and I have mastered her technique.

    At least you understand the "gn" diphthong. I cringe when people call them "nawkies" or "notchies". It should make your sinus hurt when you say it.

    My Italian father didn't like them either so you're in good company!

    January 26, 2009 at 7:02 pm |
  13. Tracey - Boston

    I have my ginger ale shipped from Michigan.. Vernor's mmmm good

    January 26, 2009 at 6:50 pm |
  14. Rikki, Fargo, ND

    Jack, that was just what I needed on a Monday afternoon...a good laugh! Though I must say that you do have some rather odd eating habits because I thought I was picky and I eat just about everything on your list of do not consume!...though I do have to agree with you about the grapefruit! I don't eat grapefruit or really anything from the citrus family...oranges, clementines, anything like that cuz they are stringy and they make me gag! 🙂

    January 26, 2009 at 6:35 pm |
  15. Genevieve M, TX

    One of the few things I don't enjoy eating that lots of people like is Miracle Whip. Growing up in the South, my mother never allowed a jar of Miracle Whip inside the house. I have tasted the stuff, but never developed a taste for it.

    Anyway, based on your list Jack, I am a freak. I enjoy eating everything you don't enjoy. Haha!

    January 26, 2009 at 6:26 pm |
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