Santa Claus is coming to town and he wants to speak at the Obama Inauguration
[cnn-photo-caption image=http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2008/images/12/19/art.jack.dog.jpg caption="Sammy Gray: 'I don't get out of bed for less than $10,000'"]
Jack Gray
AC360 Associate Producer
Greetings from New York, where the snow is falling faster than an Upper East Side Ponzi scheme. The city is like a scene from a holiday post card; a veritable winter wonderland of Christmas decorations, a frosty storm and a guy in a Santa suit who meanders between subway cars announcing: “My name is Forever and I am a poet.”
In Chicago, President-elect Obama continues to feel heat for inviting controversial Pastor Rick Warren to give the invocation at his inauguration. Said the exasperated president-elect: “Fine, we’ll go back to the original plan. No invocation, just Rod and Patty Blagojevich singing their profanity-laden version of ‘Love Lifts Up Where We Belong.’”
For his part, Rick Warren is defending his opposition to same-sex marriage. He tells NBC - not joking here, people - , “I’m naturally inclined to have sex with every beautiful woman I see, but that doesn’t make it right.” I'm guessing he added something like, “Not that I couldn’t, you know, because chicks totally dig my billowy Hawaiian shirts.”
The big story here in New York continues to be Caroline Kennedy’s push to get herself appointed to the United States Senate. There remain those who question her qualifications, but her supporters are quick to highlight her resume: Education advocate, civil liberties author and Al Sharpton dining companion.
Meanwhile, it looks like Al Franken might pull out a win in that disputed Minnesota Senate election. I think I speak for everyone when I say: “That thing is still going on?”
Many of you have asked what I’m getting my dog, Sammy, for Christmas. Well, as is tradition I’ll be filling her stocking with packs of Benson & Hedges 100s. Then, under the tree, she’ll be getting some Peach Schnapps and fireworks. And, if there’s money left over, that Amy Winehouse wig she wanted.
Speaking of Sammy, she and I were bummed out we didn’t get invited to the premiere of the soon-to-be-released movie Marley and Me, based on the best-selling book of the same name by John Grogan. So, as a sign of protest, we’re making our own competing albeit low budget movie: Sammy and Me But instead of a lovable Labrador Retriever who gets into hilarious situations with his family, our movie will be about a foul-mouthed Labrador Retriever who gets into fights with cab drivers and shoplifts diet pills.
This is my last blog before Christmas. I’m off next week to spend some quality time with my family, assuming they can pull themselves away from the bowl of eggnog. So, here’s wishing you and yours a happy and safe holiday.
And now, I have to run. I’m late for my sleigh ride with Caroline Kennedy and Al Sharpton.
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Filed under: 360° Radar • Christmas 2008 • Jack Gray • Raw Politics |
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Oh Jack, Ms. Kennedy and Sharpton? You don't need more exposure, your top shelf!
So Mr. Jack, did that guy "Forever", the self-proclaimed poet, that you saw meandering between subway cars, have a large fillet of smoked salmon entangled in his fake beard? Just asking – I'm missing some smoked salmon that was smoking in the back yard today – but your in New York – so I guess it could'nt be – so nevermind.
But Good Christmas to yawl.
Happy Holidays Jack !
Jack -
I will miss your wit next week, but hope you enjoy some quality time with your family. While I'm not a big fan of the egg & nog, I visited a wine my friend's wine cellar yesterday to stock up for the family gathering at my house on Christmas Day. Hope Santa is good to you and Sammy.
Merry Christmas to you and yours -
Happy holidays!!! Hey, sometimes we need the adult eggnog to survive family bonding for extended periods of time (like over an hour).
Oh well, New York winter sounds lovely except for the deranged poet guy. It's a balmy 72 degrees right now, my air conditioner just kicked off, and I haven't worn a real overcoat in over two years. AC360 could be a lot of fun every night in New Orleans. And sadly you'd just have to go a few blocks down to see the deranged Katrina survivor still being screwed over.
Your version of the dog movie sounds a lot more entertaining. Your dog is apparently a lot more entertaining based on that antler pic and her choice of vices. Oh well, the family teacup Yorkie likes Scotch and red wine, so if Sammy ever needs a drinking buddy or fellow AA member...
Sammy looks cute!
Hellooo Jack and best bloggers!!
Ha! ha! ha! (LOL) Awww!! Jack!!! I love your joke blog!!! Yeah! I agree with you Jack! it made me cheer up!!!! 🙂 I hope all of you have wonderful Christmas Day!!!! I can't wait open present Christmas Day!!!!! I am so excitng to ride sleigh!!!!! That will be fun to ride sleigh!
I want to say Happy Holidays all of you, Anderson, Jack, Erica, CNN team and best bloggers! Take care.......
Jack, my sister's black lab is named Sambuca, Sammy for short. Aren't they the best dogs? I love the antlers!
@xtina, now that card's a keeper! 😉
Aw, Sammy looks adorable. But you know she's going to murder you in your sleep for putting those reindeer antlers on her, right?
Merry Christmas to you Jack. Have fun with your family.
Merry Christmas Jack!! Sammy is absolutely adorable with her reindeer antlers. Though she looks a little miffed that you tore her away from her soaps to take that picture! 🙂 Have an amazing holiday season!
Merry Christmas Jack. A HUGE thanks for all of the laughs.
Have safe travels and we will see you back here.
Love and warm wishes to you and Sammy!
PS: Thought she was a Newport girl? heh heh.
Jack:
Wishing you a great holiday season with your family and looking forward to more smiles and laughs next year from you! 😀
No invocation, just Rod and Patty Blagojevich singing their profanity-laden version of ‘Love Lifts Up Where We Belong.’”
And as an encore, Rod should sing "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy ....
P.S. The pic of Sammy is simply charming. Thanks for sharing it with us groupies!
Sounds like your movie Sammy and Me is more entertaining than the other one...LOL!
Well, thanks for all your blogging this year! I hope you'll continue to do so next year. You've certainly brightened our days with your wit and humor. You're a very talented person, Jack Gray! CNN is lucky to have you! (Anderson and others, are you reading this?)
I hope you and your family have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Also, if you get gifts from your fans, be sure to share them with your colleagues at CNN. They didn't get as many gifts as you, so be sure to share the love...LOL!
Lilibeth
Edmonds, Washington
funny ! I got my Christmas card from the Gov. It says Merry *&%$#*^*^*ing Christmas from Rod, Patti , Amy, Anne, our dogs Bruiser and Killer and our kitty Catzilla.
Hello Jack,
it is stormy here today,too.
Happy Holidays to you,your family,and that adorable doggie of yours.
Look forward to having you back on the blog in 2009.
Jack,
Living in a winter wonderland is great huh!? You know the snow falling, everything all lit up and of course the bums dressed like Santa looking for a hand out. OOPs sorry...those aren't bums..those are the execs of Wall Street trying to make some extra cash for their Christmas party. My bad!! You know with them having to cut back that the party in the Caymans just isn't possible without a little help from us generous souls! So it seems they're out in full force. HMM..maybe that was one you saw weaving in and out of parked cars. Probably trying to "borrow" money from the parking meters huh?
I hope that you and Sammy don't drink too much eggnogg..you do know that stuff will give ya, well lets just say..it'll clean ya out! LOL How's that!? LOL So keep Sammy WAY clear of that stuff! Not to mention if it's loaded then she'll be cussing up a storm and smokin' like a freight train! HMM..but you're probably used to that by now huh!? LOL
And I guess my bottle of Yeager didn't make it to Sammy yet huh!? You better go and check Cooper's bar in his office he's probably got it stashed for when he's really needing to get away from the job! LOL You know after a few shots of that he'll be feelin' no pain. On second thought, maybe you need to let him keep it since he does Christmas alone! LOL
Anywho..have a great week off! And a very Merry Christmas!
Cindy...Ga.
Jack: May I suggest a trip to Florida to get out of the weather? Isn't South Beach calling for you and Sammy? It is 84 degrees here and the sun is shining so bright just in time for Christmas. You could take a tour of all the microbreweries around the state.
Hope all your fan mail, cookies, cakes and books doesn't get too piled up at CNN during your vacation. Happy Holidays and Best Wishes for a great 2009!
How about requiring Santa to come to town in an American made car?
If our nation is to regain its lofty place in the world pecking order, we need to ensure people buy American products and we should start with Santa.
Sammy looks so cute. Merry Christmas and a safe holiday to you too Jack.
Merry Christmas to you Jack and your family.Wish we could get some of that snow down here.Such a cute picture of sammy and your going to have to let her down easy and tell her she'll have to take a salary cut unless she goes to the Senate or Congress.Best Wishes and a Very Happy New Year
Happy Holidays Jack!
Maybe you could throw Sammy's name into the hat for either the Illinois Senate seat or New York's. I think she'd be a great advocate for the "rest of us"!
Have a good week off.
Ho HO HO Jack!
I can't believe Rick Warren said he wants to have sex with every beautiful woman he sees. Yuck! What a turn off! He should have kept that one to himself. That does it. He is a perv. I always knew it.
Those "big" "religious" leaders always end of talking about sex. Have you noticed that?
Meanwhile, I don't know what you are going to do with that delinquent dog of yours. Benson and Hedges? Give that crossdressing canine some Fantasias. You know the colored ones? It should be a necessary part of every crossdressing canine's wardrobe. Is he still drinking out of a bag?
Why not just give him some fritos and beer? That is what everyone gives here in Texas. Well, there was an exception. Last year my girlfriend got a wooden toilet seat from her boyfriend. Very Texas sexy.
Ha! Love lifts us up where we @#$* belong! I like that song.uh huh, very pretty.
No kidding here~ Merry Christmas or whatever to you and Sammy.
May your days be merry and bright. (They would too if you have one of my cookies!)Peace on earth!
XO's and tail wags
Jack,
have a wonderfull Christmas with your family!
Aww, Sammy looks absolutely adorable in that picture.
Happy Holidays! Kristien
Good morning Jack! What an adorable picture of Sammy with the antlers, how cute is she? I bet you're just as sweet and furry, ha, ha! Shame about all the fuss over the pastor. Obama's caught between the proverbial rock and hard place there. I see Santa Bush popped a few billion into the Big 3's stockings after all, let's hope they haven't spent it all by Boxing Day! I'm just settling down with a nice cup of tea and a couple of mince pies to make the most important decision of the holidays, which is what telly I'm going to watch! Unfortunately there's not much chance of a white Xmas here, which means no excuse for not walking off the Xmas pudding! Jack, thanks for making me chuckle with your brilliant blogging! I hope that Santa fills yours and Sammy's stockings and that Cooperman's given you a healthy Xmas bonus! To you, Anderson, Erica, David G and all the bloggers out there, hope you have a fabulous Xmas, lots of love and eggnog from me here in England x x x x
Aww, Sammy is so beautiful–but Jack you gotta get her to lay off the booze and cigarettes–how can she expect to keep earning the big bucks if she ends up looking all torn up like Amy Winehouse?
Have a great Christmas with your family Jack and thanks for all of the laughs.
Merry Christmas, Jack and Sammy!!
Maybe Rod and Patti should spend a little time in Edmonton. When it's so #$%&(*# cold that your nose-hairs freeze and you can barely breathe, you're not so inclined to open your big mouth!
"Love Lift Us Up Where Belong?" Are you sure it isn't Muskrat Love? Oops, that would be the song for my soon-to-be ex and his...ho, ho, ho... Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to you and your raindog.
Happy Friday Jack,
We received 12 inches of snow, but I made my way to work, the transition team are doing great job. I don’t know if Chrysler will cut the Christmas break for their employee, but soon we might find out. Caroline Kennedy’s (CK) name sound like brand name, I think she will shine the stage and energize the base with whatever Agenda she hold. You know for quality always looks for high profile brand names, that is my philosophy. I think CK still have a chance to make it this year despite pink planet progress. Jack, keep watching Sammy on Christmas, I think she watched the Victoria Secret fashion show 2008, and that is why she is demanding the $10,000 bailout….keep the firework as planned. …good luck for the book.
Jack, Anderson and AC360 team, I wish you happy joyful Christmas and warm lovely (quality) time with your family and lover.
Maria
Hi Jack!
Here in Upstate New York, we are verging on "blizzard status"...and honestly, I am looking forward to the weekend and not worrying about corruption, nepotism, my shrinking funds and impending college education expense, just the wonderful, hopeful and friendly holidays. Blessings to you and yours!
Jack enjoy your time off and you and Sammy go easy on the eggnog.
Thanks for your blog posts.I think you should have your own segment
on 360 on the television call it something like moments with Jack.
Merry Christmas and Happy Channukah to all.
Hi,
Just started reading your posts and I'm really getting a kick out of them. Keep 'em coming!
Merry Christmas Jack and Sammy. If you're going for a sleigh ride, skip the eggnog bowl. You don't want to be tipsy and teetering while sightseeing with Caroline..Take Care and have a great Holiday.
Lorie Ann, Buellton, Calif.
Jack,
You have a wonderful wonderful Christmas with Sammy and your family. That picture of her is sooo cute. You have been such a delight to read over the past few weeks. I really appreciate the humor. Have a great time. : )
It's not snowing here yet in the beautiful Nutmeg State, Jack. I can't wait for the snow. I usually go out to the Dunkin' Donuts during the storm.
Morning Jack and Happy Holidays to you and Sammy etc.
She is a cutie paw.
Yeah Im sure Gov Blago and wife were really counting on the innauguration invitation. Oh well.
I say Sammy should have a book deal. The trials and tribulations of being the top paw behind AC360. I hope Christmas leaves Sammy in the lifestyle for which she has become accustomed to. Everyone at her beck and paw.
I found it really wierd, strange etc seeing Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg having a meal with Rev Sharpton. They both do good work but from different paths and circles.
Happy Channukah and Merry Christmas and Happy Festivas for the rest of us.
Two paws up for Sammy on the photo from my cats Ariel and Golda.
Hi Jack,
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. The fire really is delightful. Hope you have a Merry Christmas. Love the picture of Sammy with the antlers, she's so cute!! Enjoy your week off with your family. I look forward to your next post. Have a great week!
AWWWW!!! Happy @#$%ing Holidays Jack!!!!!
It's a A SNOW DAY today here in Michigan. No work, no schools.
YAY!!!
And I know Anderson makes you snow blow a path to his helicopter.
Have a GREAT week off and maybe Amy Wino will show up in hot pants, bearing a weave for Sammy. Check that mess first, you don't know where Amy has been.
XXO♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥........
Happy Holidays Jack !
The winter wonderland scene you painted makes you feel festive and dreaming of a white Christmas it's the same here in Cnada it's falling faster than the Ponzi 's scheme-that's a good one Jack .I'm not sure about Caroline Kennedy for the senate seat just beacuse of the name it shouldn't be about histroy or royality with her family . Thamks for your funny post and you have a great Christmas ! Have fun on your sleigh ride!
Jack
You have a wonderful Christmas with Sammy and your family. Don't fall in the eggnog though and be sure Sammy doesn't get an egg nog mustache. It might just give away what the odd flavor is in the egg nog.
We have to finish wiring our Christmas tree to the floor. We got our orange tabby cat a kitten for Christmas – to be buddies with. They are still getting used to each other – last night they did a close encounter of the cat kind with each other by scampering up the tree and slapping at each other from one side of the tree or another. They came down rather abruptly ..... along with the tree and all its ornaments. Thankfully nothing broke except a few tempers – the cats were quite pleased with themselves – now they have all the ornaments to knock around on the floor.
Merry Christmas Jack and Sammy – see you in the New year!
Annie Kate
Birmingham AL
Ah Jack!
As always, you put a smile on my face!!
Best Wishes for the holidays.