.
December 9th, 2008
02:40 PM ET

Excuse me sir, Vice President Loni Anderson is on the phone

[cnn-photo-caption image=http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2008/images/12/09/art.drescher.gi.jpg caption="Senator Fran Drescher?"]

Jack Gray
AC360 Associate Producer

Well, the United States government just took one step closer to becoming a full-fledged sitcom with the news that Fran Drescher – yes, that Fran Drescher – wants to succeed Hillary Clinton in the senate.  Fine, go ahead, Governor David Paterson, appoint her to Hillary’s seat.  I’m sure The Nanny is a lovely person and I certainly admire her work on behalf of cancer patients.  And sure, I understand that the threat of having to listen to her laugh would be a valuable weapon when trying to break up a filibuster.  Nevertheless, mark my words, we’re treading dangerously close to the day when we hear “I, John Stamos, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States.”

Meanwhile, in Chicago today, Al “No hard feelings, Supreme Court” Gore is meeting with President-elect Obama.  No one really knows what the meeting is about or whether Gore may be up for Energy Secretary or EPA Administrator.  Because, you know, either of those jobs would totally make up for never being president.

Speaking of all things climate, it sure was cold here in New York over the past few days.  In fact it was so cold that Eliot Spitzer had to stop during everything to change into wool socks.

Then there’s the economy (shudder).  President-elect Obama says the nation’s financial crisis is only going to get worse.  I’m not quite sure how that could be, given that most Americans appear to be giving each other McDonald’s ketchup packets for Christmas, but that’s what he says.  So consider yourselves warned.

One silver lining in the cloud, however:  It looks like – despite bailout concerns – car thieves aren’t too worried about the value of domestic vehicles.  The Cadillac Escalade tops the new list of most stolen automobiles.  On the bottom of the list is the Buick Rainer.  And, I think I speak for all Americans when I say…what the heck is a Buick Rainier?

And in yet another sign that his presidency is in its final days, President Bush was on hand in Philadelphia as his portrait was unveiled at Lincoln Hall.  Said the president, “It came out alright, but I still think we should have went with one of the nudes.”

I’m sure you saw Anderson on with David Letterman last night.  I thought he did really well, aside from that moment when he angrily demanded Paul Shaffer play “Free Bird.”

And finally, don’t forget, Planet in Peril: Battle Lines airs Thursday night at 9pm Eastern Time.  The PIP team takes you to some amazing and incredibly important locations around the world.  I’d like to visit them myself someday but, between you and me, I operate under the basic philosophy that anytime I leave Manhattan I run a 50/50 chance of being eaten by a mountain lion.

Maybe Fran Drescher can do something about that when she gets to the senate.


Filed under: 360° Radar • Jack Gray • Raw Politics
soundoff (65 Responses)
  1. pati mc., camp hill, pa

    Ok Brandi......SpongBob Sqaurepants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I have been singing it in my head too – thanks loads. 😛

    I refuse to get into the age discussion as I will cry like Jack. Suffice it to say that I am prob the only one who is older than Anderson. *sigh* (however, my hair is not gray..heh heh!).

    You guys all seem totally cool. Maybe I can count on you to push me around when I get too decrepit.? Bwah!

    BTW Mr. Gray – (*bows deeply*) Hats off to you for keeping your comments timely (you do moderate them yourself, don't you?), reading what we say here and even answering? Yikes! Now if only you can get your boss to do that! Good luck! (sorry Anderson, but it would be nice. – we love you too, ya know?).

    December 9, 2008 at 6:27 pm |
  2. Kristien,Antwerp, Belgium

    Brandi: I was singing it, didn't know I had to blog it!
    Who here isn't younger than Anderson? (just joking, Anderson. *cough*)

    December 9, 2008 at 6:05 pm |
  3. Dee from CT

    Jack writes, reads the comments AND responds ... well look at that ... next thing we'll know is that you are the moderator too ... Now all you need is your own little picture whenever you post a comment ... Better yet – make it a picture of Abe...

    December 9, 2008 at 6:03 pm |
  4. Brandi - bottom of the boot

    seriously? no one can finish the song? omg, im 8 years older than jack and i know that song. hmmm, at least im still younger than anderson, whew. 😀

    December 9, 2008 at 5:41 pm |
  5. Brandi - bottom of the boot

    stacy: im game! lol

    December 9, 2008 at 5:26 pm |
  6. Arachnae

    You guys know WKRP is back? Not the show, the station. Only it's grown into a tv station... I guess that's natural evolution.

    December 9, 2008 at 5:25 pm |
  7. EJ (USA)

    Well, anyone from Cincinnati who doesn't know who Loni Anderson is should be ashamed.

    In fact, when I went to college and when I told people where I was from, they would get this confused look just for a second and then they'd sing 'WKRP In Cincinnati.'

    December 9, 2008 at 5:10 pm |
  8. hugh ~ california

    If you put "The Nanny's" legs in a beauty contest against "Caribou Barbie," Nanny wins in a handslide! But seriously, Frannie and Sarah need some education in political science and law before they aspire to higher office. Guys, let's think with our heads, not with our eyeballs.
    😉

    December 9, 2008 at 5:08 pm |
  9. Brandi - bottom of the boot

    jack,
    it happens to us all, we get older. each year we have this thing called a birthday to celebrate the fact that we begin to die as soon as we are born. lol you are still a baby so i will excuse your crying.

    it could be worse, sweetie, you could be completely gray, like anderson. lol

    @ Arachnae: who lives in a pineapple under the sea?.....

    December 9, 2008 at 5:07 pm |
  10. lee

    Hey, Jack, will I be ok if I read you blogs even after I switch to Leno at 10?

    December 9, 2008 at 4:59 pm |
  11. Kristien,Antwerp, Belgium

    Hey Jack,
    if you want the Senators to keep doing their job (or should that be 'start doing their job'?), then maybe Fran isn't such a good addition, especially not if she plans on wearing some of the old Nanny outfits....I have a feeling they don't need much to get distracted, haha.

    Boy, after one of your previous posts I had this awfull image of Bush in a leotard in my head and now you mention him being naked...*shudder*

    Keep up the funny blogging! Kristien x

    December 9, 2008 at 4:55 pm |
  12. Stacy

    Said the president, “It came out alright, but I still think we should have went with one of the nudes.”

    I think I just thew up in my mouth a little.

    @Arachnae: You made Jack cry?! You better be careful, my friend, lest you incur the wrath of the Jack Gray groupies. What say you bloggers; shall we grab our pitchforks?

    @Jill and Fay: I for one wouldn't know how to communicate without sarcasm. I'd have to take a class or something.

    @Steve: We get it. We get it. 😛

    December 9, 2008 at 4:51 pm |
  13. Jolene, St. Joseph, MI

    Eliot Spitzer had to stop during everything to change into wool socks.

    Ha! When I first read this, I laughed. Then, I visualized it.... Ew, hope those wool socks weren't itchy! 😯

    However, it does make you wonder if Spitzer's got some red socks with white foo foo cuffs for the holidays doesn't it?

    Condiments as X-mas gifts!!! Love the idea! Could use them for stocking stuffers too! I'm going for the pickle relish!

    Heck with Fran, I think Jack Gray should run for Hillary's seat! 8)

    Always enjoy your blog posts!

    December 9, 2008 at 4:41 pm |
  14. Alex

    Wait!!!! Anderson was on David Letterman last night?
    Why didn't anybody tell me?!
    This is what I get for studying for finals past 1.am.

    Great post!

    December 9, 2008 at 4:14 pm |
  15. Joanne, Solvay, NY

    that laugh, oh, that laugh, perfect for Congress....great pick Jack!

    December 9, 2008 at 4:12 pm |
  16. Arachnae

    @ Arachnae: Showing my age? I’m only 28. Thanks a lot, now you’ve made me cry.

    Ah. Nickelodeon baby. That explains it. (there, there)

    December 9, 2008 at 3:02 pm |
  17. Steve

    Jack as a 28 year old man in New York, I'm surprised your so afraid of cougars.... HBO had a whole series dedicated to the New York variety, you're actually safer when you leave Manhattan!

    get it? get it??

    Great post as always.

    December 9, 2008 at 2:57 pm |
  18. Jennifer - Michigan

    Jack,
    You are a little young to have been watching WKRP in Cincinnati back in the late 70's. You must have caught the re-runs. I remember watching it as a kid. That's right, I'm old....Happens so fast!

    December 9, 2008 at 2:54 pm |
  19. pati mc., camp hill, pa

    Frankly Jack, Anderson and the suits blew Fran off as the "voice" of 360, so I am glad to see that she is moving on to bigger and better things. Just thinking of that voice in the halls of Congress makes it all worthwhile!

    Ugh, dude...you had to go there and mention Bush in the nude? Ew! I just had lunch! Seriously he will be busy doing paint by number art, or finger paintings for the new house in Dallas. Gotta keep hism occupied....know what I mean? Safer that way.

    Agreed – Anderson was great on Letterman. Loved his Thanksgiving story. No Mom, just a turkey in a box on the backseat. Bwah!

    December 9, 2008 at 2:45 pm |
  20. Lilibeth

    Hi Jack, I look forward to PIP on Thursday. I envy Anderson and others when they go to all these foreign lands. I know some of the places they visited were depressing and poor, but I think it's an honor to meet and talk to the people who live in these places and be able to tell their story to the world. This is a way we can all be educated on how they live, and education leads to a desire to help. And of course, by telling their stories to the world, you help them on a grander scale. This to me is the ultimate dream job.

    Hope you're having a great day, Jack.

    Lilibeth
    Edmonds, Washington

    P.S. You're only 28? Thanks...now I feel so old...

    December 9, 2008 at 2:32 pm |
  21. Antoine P. Brunson

    Maybe the Senate is looking for some entertainment during the long meetings next year. Al Franken can write for Fran Drescher or they can just be the new comedic team America has been looking for, along the lines of George Burns and Gracie Allen or Lucy and Desi.

    December 9, 2008 at 2:30 pm |
  22. Roweena D'Souza, Seattle

    aw... ok, thanks for the clarification and please don't cry, 28 is a great age to be ... i think 🙂

    December 9, 2008 at 2:29 pm |
  23. Jack Gray

    @ Arachnae: Showing my age? I’m only 28. Thanks a lot, now you’ve made me cry.
    @ Roweena: If Fran is going to be in the senate, then why stop with her? Loni Anderson: Right for WKRP in Cincinnati, right for America.

    December 9, 2008 at 2:16 pm |
  24. Sue

    Is it any more hilarious that Fran the Nanny could be senator than the clown we have had for 8 years ELECTED no less as President????

    December 9, 2008 at 2:02 pm |
  25. Mike, Syracuse NY

    Fran Dresser would be a step up from Al Franken. Let's forget Caroline Kennedy. After Clinton, we've had enough Senators elected solely on name recognition.

    December 9, 2008 at 1:58 pm |
  26. Pamina

    Hi Jack,
    I think anytime you leave your apartment, you run the risk of being eaten by a mountain lion. Have you seen some of the coats people wear in Times Square?!? No wonder so many animals are going to be extinct, there seems to be a resurgance of fur coats in New York! Looking forward to Planet in Peril II on Thursday.

    December 9, 2008 at 1:58 pm |
  27. Roweena D'Souza, Seattle

    Hey Jack, who is Loni Anderson? I did google her, but what's the relevance?

    Great humor as always and boy do I need it with the extremely depressing weather, you've got to come to Seattle to experience it 🙂

    have a great day.

    December 9, 2008 at 1:57 pm |
  28. JC- Los Angeles

    When $700 billion is needed to bail out our horrid leaders, executives and politicians , it stands to reason that a nanny, who is used to cleaning up after others, would be a dramatic upgrade.

    December 9, 2008 at 1:53 pm |
  29. Gisselle - Houston TX

    Merry Financial Crisis Tuesday Greetings to you Jack Gray!

    First of all, who is Loni Anderson? Wasn't she the Dolly Parton look-alike gal that was married to Burt Reynolds? I might be wrong!

    Second of all, I'll take John Stamos with a pack of ketchup to go please! LOL, I think he would make an awesome impersonation of DUBYA with the right amount of make up. I was a big fan of his during the Full House years. But if we have to choose a president out of that sitcom I'll take Bob Saget any day over Stamos; so long as he does not nominate one of the Olsen twins to be our Secretary of State.

    Third, I love Frannie! We cannot judge her abilities to run for senate based on her acting skills, but if I had to I would say go ahead Nanny! The Nanny was sassy, inventive and very much a Fashionista after my own little heart. I still watch the reruns so that tells you were my loyalties lie here in this world of Fandom freaks.

    Forth, I am in Texas but if she becomes senator in New York, I'll move up there to see if I can run for Mayor or something. I think New York is the new land of opportunity, or has it always been?

    Have an excellent Financial Crisis Tuesday Jack Gray!

    December 9, 2008 at 1:44 pm |
  30. Fay, CA

    @ Jill, I think most of us are fully aware of the sarcasm in Jack's posts, it's one of the main reasons he's so funny, imo, but if someone chooses not to use one of those "winking" emoticons in their comment, it might appear that they're taking everything Jack says seriously, which is certainly not the case!

    December 9, 2008 at 1:22 pm |
  31. Jill

    After reading some of these comments, I feel like you should do a whole posting defining sarcasm.

    From someone who fully understands the nuances of the art of sarcasm, thank you for your blog. It gives me something to look forward to during the work week. 🙂

    December 9, 2008 at 12:44 pm |
  32. Carol B., Virginia

    Hey Jack,

    Joyeux Noel, Feliz Navidad, or as my Grandmother used to say after too many scotch and rye's, "Merry Christsamy." I don't think anyone should underestimate Fran Drescher. She seems smart, kind and a tough cookie when she needs to be. There's more to her than a composite of Bobby Fleckman in Spinal Tap, or Fran Fine in The Nanny. Just ask Nigel Tufnel, Mr. Sheffield, or a real person, even.
    TTFN and please keep flinging your bon mots on the blog!

    December 9, 2008 at 12:37 pm |
  33. Fay, CA

    Your age is showing, Jack. Most people won’t even know who Loni Anderson is. You might as well have said Judy Carne, or Pat Paulsen.

    Is it bad that I know who ALL those people are?

    Could Fran be going after Hillary's senate seat because of her disappointment over not being officially named as The Voice of 360? How can being a senator possibly compare to that?

    “It came out alright, but I still think we should have went with one of the nudes.”

    I don't even think Laura Bush wants to see that.

    December 9, 2008 at 12:36 pm |
  34. Maria

    Happy morning Jack,
    Your post keeps us over the moon. If you like traveling and worried about mountain lion, try to convince the vice president Anderson to prepare documentary about the over growing population in Cairo. Cairo population is easily over 18 million and you can’t imagine how terrible the air pollution, you should wash your face, whenever you have chance. Nile River is the source of life and symbol of romance, yet Nile River is a reservoir for many pathogens, including Hepatitis C virus and the parasite that cause bilharzia. Egyptians say “if you drink the Nile River water, you will return back to Egypt in the future”, I don’t advice you to do so, take your bottled water with you. If you made your trip to Cairo, don’t miss visiting the National museum, it is unbelievable; and when you return back to Manhattan, don’t forget to have deep facial cleaning.
    Have a good one.

    December 9, 2008 at 11:54 am |
  35. Betty Ann, Nacogdoches,TX

    P.S. i hope nobody draws a mustache or horns on that pic of Bush. 😉

    December 9, 2008 at 11:52 am |
  36. Arachnae

    Your age is showing, Jack. Most people won't even know who Loni Anderson is. You might as well have said Judy Carne, or Pat Paulsen.

    December 9, 2008 at 11:45 am |
  37. Betty Ann, Nacogdoches,TX

    Ho Ho Ho Jack!
    McDonald's ketchup for Christmas! Now aren't you clever? You know all I want, besides a bailout, is one of those little McDonalds condiment ranch dressings. is that asking too much?
    I like the price~FREE!
    Fran~Laugh out loud literally. I can laugh just thinking of her laugh. It's a good thing too because there's not much to laugh about these days.
    I do have my health and I am grateful for that. Wealth? Bye bye~
    Speaking of health. I have to get a root canal today. I think I'd rather stick my hands in fire. Other than that, I'm good!
    I drive a Santa Fe. I'm keeping it too! I don't think the U.S. will give the Koreans a bailout but ya never know!
    The thing about my car is it gets good mileage, carries lots of dogs and kids or drunks (depending on the situation) and it would never be stolen!
    It's a keeper!
    BTW~I never heard of a buick rainer but hell, cars don't mean much to me. My Auntie has a rolls and chauffeur but that is WAY over the top for me. Especially since she has the money and I don't!
    Nahh, no drivers for me as long as I am able. They would just say they were driving Miss Crazy anyway, like the driver says about my Auntie.
    I love the Planet in Peril series. Sure, all those situations make me depressed but we need to see it! Although, every time I see it abbreviated PIP, I have to use the bathroom. he he
    Lions? You should see the snakes in Texas. last summer I was bitten by a copperhead and was sick for 6 weeks! Nothing, no nothing scares me like a roach! that would be cockroach. Please don't confuse!
    Alright~time to get drilled! I can only hope they hit oil!
    Thanks for the laugh Jack~ I need it today!
    😀
    XOXO

    December 9, 2008 at 11:23 am |
  38. Lorie Ann, Buellton, California

    Well Jack, I guess given the choice between a Cadillac Escalade, a packet of Ketchup, or a watercolor print of the Bush portrait, I'll take the caddy. Now Drescher and Stamos? I guess we could do worse..We could be given a packet of mustard and a Buick Rainer? Happy Tuesday.

    Lorie Ann, Buellton, Calif.

    December 9, 2008 at 11:11 am |
  39. Annie Kate

    Hi Jack
    Hope you are having a great day. I don't know about Fran Drescher in the Senate. The one advantage to it I guess is that there will finally be a bona fide comedian in the Congress.

    I think Al Gore might like the private life better than being President especially after winning that Nobel Prize. Being from Tennessee myself, I was right proud of him when he won that. He sure had to campaign for it a long time though – over 20 years of warnings about the environment – and here we complained about the primary season being too long.

    I saw Anderson on Letterman; my favorite part was the clip from 60 minutes and Anderson's description of his swim trunks as bloomers circa 1900. The story about his mother and Thanksgiving was a hoot too.

    If car thieves need some cars to steal I wish they would steal the hunks of junk my brothers insist on driving around. The preferable time to steal them is when my brothers are in them – with my luck though the thieves would probably return my brothers.

    Have a great day Jack and keep the comedy coming!

    Annie Kate
    Birmingham AL

    December 9, 2008 at 10:58 am |
  40. Tammy

    Great blog Jack, totally hilarious, but unfortunately nothing you said isn't true. What is ironic is in this cae life doesn't imitate art, it imitates comedy.

    December 9, 2008 at 10:57 am |
  41. Heather,ca

    Morning Jack

    Where do you come up with these titles?

    Fran is great but I dont think she has what is needed to replace Hillary. Whoever it is they have to be tough and knowledgable of all the issues.

    What i find funny is how much Grey hair Obama has from campaigning . The man isnt even pres yet and he has a lot of salt with the pepper.

    Didnt see Andy on Letterman. But I did see him on 60 mins. Now that was great tv. I dont know which was more impressive watching Mike Phelps fall asleep in what was it 50 secs or watching Anderson swim his heart out while the fish took him out.

    December 9, 2008 at 10:52 am |
  42. Jennifer - Michigan

    Hi Jack,
    You're awesome! Great blog – very funny. I'm really looking forward to PIP Battlelines on Thursday, can't wait!
    Man! Talk about cold; we have freezing rain downpours this morning – yuck....since the weather patterns usually head your way, get ready for some nasty weather. I'd rather it snow, what a mess!
    Anyway, hope you have a great day today – thanks for sharing your humor with us!

    December 9, 2008 at 10:41 am |
  43. xtina, chicago IL

    Tell Al Gore's driver not to take any side streets- they're a sheet of ice; the City isn't clearing them this yr. due to budget cuts. We're no longer the "City that Works" I guess

    December 9, 2008 at 10:38 am |
  44. Missy

    Fran is a great choice for the Senate. And Leno moving to 10 PM – sounds great – 360 is going to have to step it up a few notches to compete!

    December 9, 2008 at 10:31 am |
  45. Helen Bullen

    Hi everyone from the UK! Very funny blog, Jack, enjoy reading it! I'll be watching Anderson tomorrow morning, wish we could get Letterman over here, what's with him wanting them to play Free Bird? I thought he was more into Beyonce, he, he! Think it's great if Fran wants Hillary's Senate seat, I loved The Nanny! Can you imagine hearing 'Oh, Mr Sheffield!' during the proceedings? Let's get Niles, Yetta et al in too!

    December 9, 2008 at 10:26 am |
  46. Cindy

    Jack,
    HMMM...maybe Fran isn't a bad choice for the senate! The way that they act and the little amount that they get done it seems that they do need a nanny around to get then moving. So hey...she may be just what the doctor ordered to replace Hillary! She can't do any worse...I mean look at what they do now...or should I say don't do!

    Hey..when the car thieves start stealing Buick Rainers because no one can afford the Caddies that's when we'll need to be worried about the economy for sure! LOL

    Yeah...I just loved seeing Coop all mad and fussing Paul out over not playing Freebird! But you know during the break Paul busted it out and Coop jumped up on the sofa whipped out his Bic and sang at the top of his lungs! Now that I'd pay to see! LOL

    Keep it coming Jack...you are hilarious!!

    Cindy...Ga.

    December 9, 2008 at 10:20 am |
  47. Michelle D. Fonthill,Ont

    Hey Jack
    Fran Drescher is just what the congress needs ! She's a spitfire and will keep everyone on thier toes .What do you maean Anderson got angry i missesd that ! Thanks Jack for keeping it real!

    December 9, 2008 at 10:11 am |
  48. Dee from CT

    Can you just picture it ... Fran and Franken both in the Senate ...

    December 9, 2008 at 10:10 am |
  49. Brandi - bottom of the boot

    what is a buick rainer? im going to have to google it. lol

    anderson got angry? on tv? darn, i missed it, that is one of my favorite songs. lol

    have a great day, jack!

    December 9, 2008 at 9:59 am |
  50. Jenny Ga

    Hey Jack,

    Given her experience as a nanny and the behavior of Congress, Fran Drescher may be just what Congress needs.

    December 9, 2008 at 9:40 am |
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