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December 9th, 2008
02:40 PM ET

Excuse me sir, Vice President Loni Anderson is on the phone

[cnn-photo-caption image=http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2008/images/12/09/art.drescher.gi.jpg caption="Senator Fran Drescher?"]

Jack Gray
AC360 Associate Producer

Well, the United States government just took one step closer to becoming a full-fledged sitcom with the news that Fran Drescher – yes, that Fran Drescher – wants to succeed Hillary Clinton in the senate.  Fine, go ahead, Governor David Paterson, appoint her to Hillary’s seat.  I’m sure The Nanny is a lovely person and I certainly admire her work on behalf of cancer patients.  And sure, I understand that the threat of having to listen to her laugh would be a valuable weapon when trying to break up a filibuster.  Nevertheless, mark my words, we’re treading dangerously close to the day when we hear “I, John Stamos, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States.”

Meanwhile, in Chicago today, Al “No hard feelings, Supreme Court” Gore is meeting with President-elect Obama.  No one really knows what the meeting is about or whether Gore may be up for Energy Secretary or EPA Administrator.  Because, you know, either of those jobs would totally make up for never being president.

Speaking of all things climate, it sure was cold here in New York over the past few days.  In fact it was so cold that Eliot Spitzer had to stop during everything to change into wool socks.

Then there’s the economy (shudder).  President-elect Obama says the nation’s financial crisis is only going to get worse.  I’m not quite sure how that could be, given that most Americans appear to be giving each other McDonald’s ketchup packets for Christmas, but that’s what he says.  So consider yourselves warned.

One silver lining in the cloud, however:  It looks like – despite bailout concerns – car thieves aren’t too worried about the value of domestic vehicles.  The Cadillac Escalade tops the new list of most stolen automobiles.  On the bottom of the list is the Buick Rainer.  And, I think I speak for all Americans when I say…what the heck is a Buick Rainier?

And in yet another sign that his presidency is in its final days, President Bush was on hand in Philadelphia as his portrait was unveiled at Lincoln Hall.  Said the president, “It came out alright, but I still think we should have went with one of the nudes.”

I’m sure you saw Anderson on with David Letterman last night.  I thought he did really well, aside from that moment when he angrily demanded Paul Shaffer play “Free Bird.”

And finally, don’t forget, Planet in Peril: Battle Lines airs Thursday night at 9pm Eastern Time.  The PIP team takes you to some amazing and incredibly important locations around the world.  I’d like to visit them myself someday but, between you and me, I operate under the basic philosophy that anytime I leave Manhattan I run a 50/50 chance of being eaten by a mountain lion.

Maybe Fran Drescher can do something about that when she gets to the senate.


Filed under: 360° Radar • Jack Gray • Raw Politics
soundoff (65 Responses)
  1. Megan Dresslar (Shoreline, Wa)

    Jack!!!!
    You are so funny man!!! I love this your blog!!! I agree with you Jack!!!! I think Anderson is so mad at him on David Letterman!!!! Oh Well!!!! Ouch!!! Also I agree with all of bloggers!!! You made me laugh so hard!!!! I love David Letterman...... my favorite is Late with David Letterman, I always watch him and Jay Leno show!!! LOL!
    Give me more jokes again!!!!! Thanks for help cheer me up!

    December 9, 2008 at 9:56 pm |
  2. missy

    Jack, you are like the host with the most. Look at all these comments!

    Hope Sammy is well.

    December 9, 2008 at 9:16 pm |
  3. Brandi - bottom of the boot

    ok pati, i remember the 'sailor mouth' episode now! lol i had to be reminded by the 10 year old in the house. all the bleeps, thats all she had to say.

    December 9, 2008 at 7:54 pm |
  4. Tammy, Berwick. LA

    Great...now I have the WKRP song in my head. I am ancient enough to remember the show in prime time. But I'm still 10 months shy of Anderson antiquity.

    I think Fran would make a lovely US Senator. I mean, can she be any worse than the bozos in office now who are bailing out everyone but the average citizens who need the help? I think not. Plus she'd add some style to the Democratic run circus that will be the next Congress.

    Anyway, if you want real danger, come to South Louisiana and go hunting in the swamps without knowing what you're doing. Or for that matter, live on a bayou that coexists with the gators and snakes that are in it. The squirrels in Central Park have nothing on us down here.

    December 9, 2008 at 7:53 pm |
  5. Mary

    What a great wit you have. I think that at this point in time, with Senator Nanny looking to change the political scene, and the Big Three looking for a Big Check , one of the only thing "we" can afford to do is laugh. Thanks!

    December 9, 2008 at 7:33 pm |
  6. Anna, HK

    Another funny write-up! We share the same basic philosophy about leaving home... but I sure ain't gonna to let a few animal bites stop me from getting to see the world... look upon it as a challenge & get out of your comfort zone sometimes......it'll be worth it...!

    December 9, 2008 at 7:27 pm |
  7. Brandi - bottom of the boot

    lol! pati, i know what sailor mouth means, just didnt realize there is an episode with them acting it out! lol

    yeah, jack, feel better now? 🙂 us girls aim to please. lol

    December 9, 2008 at 7:26 pm |
  8. pati mc., camp hill, pa

    "Sailor mouth" – key word "swearing" Patrick and SpongeBob see a certain word written on the dumpster behind the Krusty Krab and proceed to add it to every sentence. Its a classic.....just saying. 😀

    I hope me humiliating myself with Spongebob factiods has made Jack feel better after Arachnae made hm cry. Jack?

    December 9, 2008 at 7:13 pm |
  9. Don, WA

    Why does'nt Fran try and "break glass ceilings" as an opera singer instead.

    December 9, 2008 at 7:08 pm |
  10. Brandi - bottom of the boot

    ummm, sorry pati, i dont think i remember 'sailor mouth'. maybe just not the name. lol

    oh i hope they put up more outtakes for this PiP! i loved them too!

    December 9, 2008 at 7:04 pm |
  11. pati mc., camp hill, pa

    Ok Kristien and Brandi, you are on. I get too old and feeble to walk, you guys are my pals. Many thanks girls. With any luck I have a long way to go!

    Um, not only do I know that song, I used to be the proud owner of a SpongeBob "oops I ripped my pants" Nokia cellphone faceplate! And I just admitted that to the world! Ah welll, what the heck, we are all friends.

    Anyone remember "Sailor Mouth"? Reminds me of Anderson in the original PIP outtakes. *ahem* Loved that!

    December 9, 2008 at 6:58 pm |
  12. Brandi - bottom of the boot

    @Kristien,Antwerp, Belgium: yes, i dont think he will cry that easily, im sure he knows how we all adore him. besides, the salt and pepper style seems to have done very well for him. lol

    seriously, anderson, if you read this, its all in good fun, you are only as old as you feel. 😛

    December 9, 2008 at 6:52 pm |
  13. Brandi - bottom of the boot

    ah, yes, everyone loves mr. squarepants! lol

    at least i was brave enough to admit it without having to be crushed by peer pressure!

    @ pati, you are very welcome! my hair isnt gray either. ill be more than happy to push you around when you need it! lol (seriously, im in nursing school)

    December 9, 2008 at 6:47 pm |
  14. Kristien,Antwerp, Belgium

    @Brandi: saying stuff about yourself is one thing, but hearing it from someone else....I just hope that he doesn't cry as easely as Jack, haha.

    @Pati: I'll be happy to give you a push!

    December 9, 2008 at 6:45 pm |
  15. Brandi - bottom of the boot

    @Kristien,Antwerp, Belgium, why the *cough*? he is a self proclaimed middle-aged mortal. lol

    im so glad someone else new the song besides me. yay me!

    i love that jack responded to the posts. this is how a blog should be. fun!

    December 9, 2008 at 6:35 pm |
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