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December 3rd, 2008
11:03 AM ET

Sorry Bill Richardson: Barack gave the new Lexus you wanted to Hillary

Jack Gray
AC360 Associate Producer

Well, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for.  Try not to go too wild.  But yes, it’s true.  President-elect Obama is today announcing Bill Richardson as his nominee for Secretary of Commerce.  Which, while not an unimportant post, was not Richardson’s first choice.  Secretary of State was what Richardson really wanted.  Commerce was further down on his list, right below U.S. Ambassador to Dairy Queen.

Meanwhile, we’re still tying up loose ends from the fall elections.  You may have noticed there was a big run-off in Georgia last night.  Republican Saxby “Vote for me and Sarah Palin will show you how to kill a moose with your bare hands” Chambliss ended up holding onto his senate seat.  That means that the Democrats will not have a filibuster-proof supermajority.

I don’t know about you but I kind of like the name Saxby.  It has a nice ring to it.  I think I’m going to suggest to Anderson that he name his new iguana Saxby.  Oh, you didn’t know Anderson is big into iguanas?  Yeah, he walks around with one on his shoulder at all times:  “I’m sorry, I love your story pitch but my iguana Daisy Duke thinks it’s terrible.”

There’s word that former Senator Fred Thompson is going to go back to acting.  Say what you will about his campaign for president; I just think it would have been cool to hear an inauguration speech that began with “as I said to Bruce Willis in Die Hard 2…”

Speaking of Fred Thompson, I saw his former Law & Order co-star Sam Waterston (Assistant D.A. Jack McCoy) on an escalator the other day.  I don’t know what’s with me seeing celebrities on escalators.  I won’t bother telling you about a certain surly Must See TV sitcom star.  But I did see Bruce Springsteen on an escalator once.  I tried to play it cool by just staring down at my shoes.  And by staring down at my shoes I mean staring down at my shoes and shouting “Bruuuuuuuuuuuuce!”

Some of you have written to ask what I want for Christmas.  I’m assuming this means you’ll be sending me gifts.  Which I hope are better than those cakes you sent me.  And of course now you’ve got my hopes up so if you don’t send me gifts my Christmas will be ruined.   No pressure.  I don’t need much.  Any old 2009 Lexus wrapped in a bow outside my living room window will do just fine.

Seriously, am I the only one whose blood boils when those Lexus holiday ads appear on TV?  Though I will say, at least Lexus isn't on the verge of bankruptcy asking for a bailout.

Still, do you know anyone who has ever been given a Lexus for Christmas?  If you do, let me know - I want to give that person the gift of a smack upside the head.

Because, when it comes down to it, that’s what Christmas is all about:  Luxury cars and envy.


Filed under: 360° Radar • Barack Obama • Jack Gray • Raw Politics
soundoff (31 Responses)
  1. Ilhana, Bosnia

    Oh I just loved the part about Anderson and his "Daisy Duke" hehe... just goes to show, if you want your boss to like you, first get on his iguana's good side! haha... No Lexus, how about a fully restored 1966 Mustang Toronado... oh and this is what I want for the upcoming holidays! (and it comes sooner than Christmas, but hey, I wouldn't mind getting it for your holiday as well!)

    Love the blogs, I see you're now writing on a daily basis! How goody!:)

    December 4, 2008 at 1:41 am |
  2. Alex (Aliso Viejo)

    Funny! 🙂 E-mail me your address and I'll tell them to park a Lexus outside your window.

    December 4, 2008 at 12:48 am |
  3. Jolene, St. Joseph, MI

    Jack:

    3 days in a row blogging.......better be careful, you are spoiling us groupies!

    A lot of talk about giving you fruitcake for Christmas, I'd much rather send you my "Friendship Cake" starter. That's where you pass around the "starter" to a friend and then they make a cake and pass their "starter" to another friend, and so on and so on..... I mean, really, that starter batter gets around! Sammy might just like it too! 🙂

    As far as the Lexus...will a new 1:18 scale die cast version work for you? It's easier to send in the mail...

    Bottomline, the jury is still out what I might send you for Christmas. Maybe some of my favorite things, but then again, you don't wear make-up or need beauty products do you? 😉

    Thanks for blogging!

    December 3, 2008 at 11:29 pm |
  4. Megan Dresslar (Shoreline, Wa)

    Hellooo Jack!!!
    Very funny!!!! 😉 that is so amazing i see your blog!!!! Yes! I love your joke again! LOL! Thanks Jack!!!!! Yup! you're right! Say hellooo Sam for me "woof" Jack? what I do want for christmas???? I want to buy Lexus for Anderson... I don't know I cannot afford to buy expensive Lexus! just kiddiing!!!!!

    December 3, 2008 at 9:51 pm |
  5. Annie Kate

    Sorry Jack I can't send you a Lexus but I do have a fruitcake that has been around the world a few times over the years. Its not growing anything yet so I'd be glad to send it to you to pass it on. I don't know why I keep getting it – just because I'm a little goofy I don't think merits a fruitcake every other year.

    Being gift wrapped challenged I have always wondered how they get those big bows on those Lexus cars on tv. First the ribbon is enormous and then the package is kind of big as well. I would probably tie myself up in the ribbon and you'd have a nice red ribbon with me in the center of the knot. That would be scary – for both of us!

    If you are a Fred Thompson fan you ought to watch his part in "Baby's Day out" – he had some classic lines in that one and he delivered them with a deadpan demeanor that made you say "Uh – did he just say that?" Somehow I just can't see electing someone to the highest office in the land that as an adult said "Tell them to turn around. We're going back to the tick-tock to get the boo-boo. And send for backup. ".

    Saxby is a proud family name – the way of the South is to carry on surnames by making them given names. Saxby is one of many in a long tradition of homage to the past.....and I say this as a true and loyal Southerner.

    Great post Jack – thanks for lightening my day!

    December 3, 2008 at 9:31 pm |
  6. pati mc., camp hill, pa

    Ah Jack, you are at it again: envy, smacking people in the head....such overwhelming Christmas Spirit. Count me in! It's Christmas in New York!

    Frankly, I was hoping that my undying love and devotion was enough of a gift; however, in light of doing my part to "support" the tanking economy, I got you a Kindle. (The first one is too hard to wrap!)

    Now you can keep Anderson's book with you wherever you go. We all know that you are an undercover brownie hound (we see through those phony "Anderson deprecating" jokes....heh heh); this way you won't have to lug the actual book with you. (Would not want you to strain yourself). Plus you can astound him with your knowledge of cutting edge technology. See how I have your back, buddy?

    Ok, I am off to find a third job, maybe next year you can have the Lexus. But you have to promise to be good!

    PS: Anderson cannot name his iguana Saxby, I already snatched it up for my next dog! Okay, okay, I can share! Jeez!

    December 3, 2008 at 9:22 pm |
  7. Lori from IL

    Jack -

    Thanks for the laughs - three days in a row. Sure you're not working on that book? Your beginning paragraph makes me think of the song "You Don't Always Get What You Want."

    Since I didn't hear anything in the news about someone in New York setting their hair on fire, does that mean you went to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade - or was there just too much news to cover and your on fire story didn't make the cut?

    First you missed your Thanksgiving turkey dinner and now your Christmas will be ruined because there won't be a 2009 Lexus with a bow outside your living room window. Poor Jack!

    December 3, 2008 at 9:20 pm |
  8. Terra Hoskins

    Oh man. I would TOTALLY be the U.S. Ambassador to Dairy Queen! That job would rule.

    December 3, 2008 at 8:24 pm |
  9. Liana

    Daisy Duke!
    We'll call you anything you want, we'll even throw in a small, hypoallergenic mutt if you convince Coop to start blogging again!

    December 3, 2008 at 8:19 pm |
  10. Lorie Ann, Buellton, California

    Well, Well..A Lexus with a bow, politics, Saxby, iguanas, a Law and Order star sighting, Dairy Queen and fruitcake! Did I leave any topic out? For a Wedsnesday, that's a full cup of tea of topics to brew or stew over. I guess I'll take the Lexus, minus the bow. Don't want to waste the ribbon. With a bow that size, I could buy a case of stale fruitcake and a get a gift card for Dairy Queen. Happy Wednesday.

    Lorie Ann, Buellton, Calif.

    December 3, 2008 at 7:57 pm |
  11. Don, WA

    Actually escalators freak me out (my one phobia I know about, or care to admit anyway) – they freak me out. I would never notice a celebrity on one because I'd never notice them – I see only a tunneled vision to the top or bottom of the escalator. And my only thought all the way up or down is getting the "jump" right at the end.

    December 3, 2008 at 7:53 pm |
  12. EJ (USA)

    No pressure. I don’t need much. Any old 2009 Lexus wrapped in a bow outside my living room window will do just fine.

    Jack, I could've sworn all of the 360 staff get treated with new Lexus's every holiday season. I just thought they gave Anderson 3 of them.

    December 3, 2008 at 7:00 pm |
  13. Tammy, Berwick. LA

    I used to wear a button in college that said "Get even, give fruitcake." I personally think fruitcake giving should qualify as a hostile act. Give me pecan divinity, my Dad's pralines, Sicilian fig cookies, and peanut butter fudge instead.

    In my high school, my friends were driving new Audis and Porsches. My goddaughter (whose father was a Porsche driver) is 16 and has a BMW. My mom and her family were always partial to Cadillac sedans.. Except for the aunt that is into Mercedes. My cousin's wife gave him a Saab one year for the holidays. My stepmom drives a Mini Cooper convertible. I'm cheap and drive Hondas. Don't knock it, though, if people can afford it and want to share it. I'll more than gladly take any Lexus left in my driveway big bow and all.

    Saxby is actually a cool name, BTW. Southerners often give their kids cool family names that baffle the rest of the universe. No exception in the Chambliss household obviously. And since Anderson is half-Southern by birthright, his pet deserves a cool name as well.

    December 3, 2008 at 6:59 pm |
  14. Natalie

    Dear Jack (my favorite blogger EVER!),

    I agree the name Saxby is remarkable attractive. It's complex, yet simple; naughty, yet nice. It's everything you could ever want in a name. Although, I think it's not suitable for an iguana. It's too grand, too high brow, too elegant. Anderson's iguana can be called "Bob" or something like that.

    Since, disecting Obama's EVERY DECISION is now the CNN way, I will add my two sense (well...more like one and a half). I like Richardson as Secretary of Commerce. I don't know much about the job. I don't know much about Richardson. But I like the fact that he's hispanic. Obama is forming a rainbow coalition (shout out to Jesse J.!!! Thanks for '84 and '88!) of a cabinet. It makes me smile.

    Jack, I am a new fan! Keep 'em coming.

    December 3, 2008 at 6:54 pm |
  15. Uma in Liverpool, UK

    'Saxby Chambliss'... only in the South...

    Of course you want a Lexus. Who wouldn't want a Lexus? It's a luxury car, made by Toyota. That means it doesn't resemble a Cadillac in any way.

    Speaking of the letter 'x', there it is in 'Lexus'. It's in a load of brand-names. Exxon and Xerox have it twix. I mean twice.

    December 3, 2008 at 6:49 pm |
  16. Lilibeth

    Missy, in answer to your question,

    I googled "fruitcake shelf life" and got this..."up to 30 days if left out and up to 3 years if refrigerated..." Hope this helps.

    My husband freezes it and takes out a piece every so often.

    Don't worry, Jack, I won't give you old fruitcake for Christmas...

    December 3, 2008 at 5:38 pm |
  17. Pamina

    Hi Jack,
    I had a student who got a BMW for his 16th birthday- does that count for Lexus envy? The kid drove a nicer car than I do- and I have a job!!! I think Richardson probably feels he got shafted- but you know a lot of backseat dealin' went on for Hillary to back Obama after the primaries. Tell Anderson he should get a pet Octopus- he can name that Saxby.

    December 3, 2008 at 4:50 pm |
  18. bonnie young abingdon va.

    i love this.i love obama he's great.now we can get our country back the way it was back in the good old days.it took a dem.to clean up after the first bush.and now another dem. to clean up after the last bush.people can't you see no more rep.

    December 3, 2008 at 3:43 pm |
  19. anita

    Saxby sounds kind of like, Sexy.

    December 3, 2008 at 2:33 pm |
  20. Rikki, Fargo, ND

    One of my neighbors drives a Lexus and the other drives a gas guzzling Nissan Armada...then there's me with my 2003 Chevy Impala!...I constantly was to smack them both upside the head!

    And I must say that I agree with Fay! Daisy Duke needs to convince Anderson to start blogging again! 🙂

    Another wonderful post Jack! You're blogs always make me laugh! 😀

    December 3, 2008 at 2:13 pm |
  21. Maria

    Happy day Jack,
    Lexus ISF and Nissan GTR are cool; I wish you will have one this Christmas. BMW (be my wife), probably the famous car that gifted from the inventor of BMW to his girlfriend, if the story is real, but I am positive it was not X5. Whenever, I hear of Saxby, I think of Coffee, it is just that blend….aroma connection and you know what, I think Saxby is perfect name for the new iguana, till me Jack, did Anderson brought his iguana from Amazon Brazil, I am smiling Cacao, oh that’s my chocolate drink... yes, I met people whom receive luxury car gift, but it was not for Christmas. At the end of the day, I think both Clinton and Richardson are smiling and having ice cream.
    Have a good one.

    December 3, 2008 at 1:58 pm |
  22. Missy

    How can you tell when fruitcake goes stale? Because I still have one from last year that was given to me. Jack?

    December 3, 2008 at 12:58 pm |
  23. Lilibeth

    I was thinking about that last night…Saxby…what kind of a name is Saxby anyway?

    A 2009 Lexus? I guess I wouldn’t mind one as long as it’s a hybrid. But I’m not a fancy-car kind of gal. If it’s reliable, gets good gas mileage, and looks decent, it’s good enough for me.

    I’ve told you about my in-laws, right? How I spend my energy trying to keep things civil when I go visit for the holidays? My mother-in-law keeps asking my father-in-law for a Lexus, not just on Christmas but any chance she gets. She rarely leaves her house yet her Toyota hybrid is not cutting it for her. She has also complained that she had to eat grapes with seeds in them while she was on a cruise vacation. I wanted to say, “There are a lot of starving people in this world who would love to eat those grapes! How dare you complain!” Talk about wanting to smack someone upside the head! But, as always, I bit my tongue to keep the peace. I’m visiting them again for the holidays this year, so it should be interesting.

    Speaking of cakes, my husband loves fruitcake. I can’t stand it. It’s too rich for me. And we have a ton of it at home. Do you want some? Maybe this is will be my Christmas gift to you? (Please say yes.) 🙂

    Later,
    Lilibeth
    Edmonds, Washington

    December 3, 2008 at 12:41 pm |
  24. Jennifer - Michigan

    Hey Jack,
    What a pleasure to see your post! Entertaining as always! How about an Escalade instead of a Lexus for Christmas – what'dya think? I don't think Cadillac is asking for bailout money either. By the way, I too thought that Saxby was a cool name. It would be a perfect name for a pet iguana!
    Anyway, What a morning I had: a little bird (White-breasted Nuthatch) flew into my front window and knocked himself out. I picked him up carefully in a towel and brought him in the house. We warmed up by the fire. He was sooooo cute. He slowly woke up and came to – then I let him go outside again. He seemed to be alright from what I could tell. It's cold out there today. Hope you're having a good day today.

    December 3, 2008 at 12:34 pm |
  25. Sara

    Presley, my sister in law's mother's nickname for Saxby Chambliss is Sexy Chambliss. It drives my niece crazy because Saxby is anything but sexy.

    December 3, 2008 at 12:25 pm |
  26. Fay, CA

    Oh, you didn’t know Anderson is big into iguanas? Yeah, he walks around with one on his shoulder at all times: “I’m sorry, I love your story pitch but my iguana Daisy Duke thinks it’s terrible.”

    Jack, sounds like Daisy Duke wields a lot of power over your boss–you think maybe she can get him to start blogging here again... 😉

    Saxby, Plaxico–what's up with the odd names in the news lately? I'm still trying to wrap my head around saying 'President Obama'.

    December 3, 2008 at 12:22 pm |
  27. Jay

    I just wanted to say how great it is that someone else wants to smack a Lexus owner aside the head (being that they received it for Christmas) ....

    December 3, 2008 at 11:55 am |
  28. Betty Ann, Nacogdoches, TX

    Greetings Jack!
    We meet again! I know what you mean about the name Sexby. It sort of "flows" when you hear it.
    It really tickles me to hear Sarah Palin getting credit for Chambilss' win.
    Ok~ I had to take a breath. I was throwing my head back and belting out a huge laugh! HAAAA!!!
    We have a local celebrity here in Nac. Remember Dr. Tony Jones from General Hospital? Yeah, well neither did I but Mr. Brad Maule aka/ Dr. Tony Jones lives here. He teaches acting at our local university. It was real embarrassing the first time I met him because I did not know who he was.
    Everyone was getting autographs and crap. Celebrities must get real sick of that. Or, maybe not. I wouldn't know. Anyway, good ole Brad and I are friends now so I guess he forgave me. He showed me his last scene on General Hospital where he dies just to prove to me that he was a "star".
    He actually was People's magazine sexiest TV doctor in 1990 or something. He has that in common with Anderson! Wasn't he the sexiest TV anchor? Oh, hell who cares? I like who I like no matter who they are. I don't scream names. At least not standing up.
    Lexus for Christmas? Hell, all I want is a bailout! 😉
    Thanks for the laugh sugar. You just keep them coming!
    And please tell Anderson and his menagerie "hi"! hehe
    Peace and \\\ iguana tail wags///~
    XO

    December 3, 2008 at 11:53 am |
  29. Presley

    Saxby Chambliss, am I alone in my visual reinterpretation and read Sexy Chambliss? Yea and of course then do a Justin Timberlake dance, Georgia brought Sexy Back, see how I am.
    I am a jelus h8ter, I LOVE Law & Order and Sam's eyebrows, did you do the *chungchung* sound in your head?

    Um, about the Lexus, yea, the Big Red Bow puts it over budget, so, how about a nice box with Macaroni and glitter glued on and a note inside reading how much you are appreciated, Oprah can do it, so can I.

    XXO♥

    December 3, 2008 at 11:38 am |
  30. Missy

    "Poor old Cooper doesn’t even have a car "

    Well of course Anderson has a car because Jack washes it every day between 3 and 4, remember?

    Thadeous would be a good name. Nice ring.

    December 3, 2008 at 11:36 am |
  31. Cindy

    Jack,
    Oh you know Richardson is at home crying in his bowl of Wheaties!! He jumped the gun and left Hillary high and dry for Obama and look where it got him....at the bottom of the food chain. Hey it could be worse...he could be the one assigned to clean up Obama's new puppies doggyy poop! LOL Now THAT would be a job to run from not to.

    As far as Coop's iguana goes Saxby is not a good name...Iggy would be better. I mean Saxby reminds people too much of Zaxby's chicken and well they may just want to find out if that iguana tastes like chicken too...they say everything else does! LOL

    And Jack...now you know I told you not to tell that I was getting you that Lexus! No need to brag! Poor old Cooper doesn't even have a car and you just gotta rub it in don't ya!? LOL Just for that when you look out that window expect to see a pinto instead! Hey...it's way less on gas and it'll be way easier to park in NYC! LOL

    Cindy...Ga.

    December 3, 2008 at 11:20 am |