October 27th, 2008
11:41 AM ET

You'll never bark in this town again

[cnn-photo-caption image=http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2008/images/10/27/jack.dog.jpg]

Jack Gray
AC360 Associate Producer

There’s nothing like a late evening stroll with your dog to relax and unwind. Except if your dog is my dog. Last night I was walking my Black Lab, Sammy, who – believe it or not – barks less often than Sarah “The Rogue” Palin travels overseas. So, when does Sammy decide to test her pipes? How about as we’re walking past one of Manhattan’s swankiest restaurants, scaring a lovely couple that was exiting. I’m so sorry, I told Steven Spielberg and his wife, Kate Capshaw. “That’s OK,” said the iconic director, “I’m used to being barked at.” I don’t know if he was referring to his own dogs, or maybe his family or perhaps the actors with whom he works. All I know is that I got the hell out of there.

I’ve come to realize that there are two kinds of people in this world: Those who need a haircut so badly that they are mistaken for Jon Bon Jovi circa 1986 and those who don’t. Today a group of Russian tourists stopped me on the street and asked me to sing “You Give Love a Bad Name.”

Bon Jovi, like Steven Spielberg, is a big supporter of Barack Obama, who – if the polls are accurate – will likely be President-elect of the United States one week from tomorrow night.

Of course, polls – much like the guy who advised me not to invest in “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” - can be wrong. In which case, John McCain would be the President-elect.

There’s a slim chance there could be an Electoral College tie. You’ll know if that happens because you’ll hear the sound of my head exploding.

And yes, I agree, Obama would certainly have a higher wattage Hollywood contingent at his inaugural festivities. But I don’t think he can top the McCain campaign’s promise to have Chuck Norris tow the presidential limousine down Pennsylvania Avenue with a rope in his teeth.

I’m not sure what Obama will do if he loses, but I have a feeling Joe Biden could make a fortune being the spokesman for those Crest teeth whitening strips.

And if McCain loses, well…Hillary and Bill will quietly sob.

One quick economic note - there’s word gas prices are down to a mere $2.79 per gallon. Great, I’ll take two gallons.

Some of you have asked that I get a permanent link to my posts under the “contributors” list. I’m flattered – baffled, but flattered – and the web team is working on it. In the meantime, you can click here to see all of them. And for those of you who have been asking about my appearance on the AC360 web cast with Erica Hill – that looks like it’ll be Wednesday night. Then Thursday I’ll be appearing at the opening of a new car wash in Hoboken, New Jersey. And by Friday I will officially be a has-been.

But for now, I’ve got to distract Sammy so she doesn’t see Martin Scorsese walking down the street.

Filed under: Jack Gray • Raw Politics
soundoff (32 Responses)
  1. Heather- Edmonton Canada

    Hi Jack
    Love your posts. As a 360 viewer who can't view the webcast I hope that you and Sammy can make an appearance on the regular broadcast. Sammy is pretty darn cute.

    October 27, 2008 at 8:19 pm |
  2. Roweena D'Souza, Seattle

    Hey Jack, its been a manic Monday at work.,..as usual 🙂 Thanks for the link with all your posts, it works great... Sammy is a real cutie. Make sure you don't take Sammy out for the Chihuahua movie, I havent watched it... but I think he's likely to go woof-woof...is that how he barks?

    Wednesday for the webcast is good, as long as it's not halloween! Awaiting your appearance...

    – your loyal fan 🙂

    October 27, 2008 at 5:47 pm |
  3. Annie Kate


    You just don't know how much I enjoy and look forward to your posts. I think you ought to be listed at the top of the contributors because you always leave us with a smile.

    Sammy is just trying to tell you that she wants to dine at these fancy restaurants and hobnob with the rich and famous. She is a dog of renown now and must keep up appearances. After all you don't see any other dog with a starring role on the AC360 blog.

    You'll never be a has-been. Nor will Sammy. Looking forward to seeing you on the webcast Wednesday. That will be fun!!

    Annie Kate
    Birmingham AL

    October 27, 2008 at 5:40 pm |
  4. Jolene, St. Joseph, MI

    Anxiously awaiting for Wednesday...........

    ...and I don't for a minute think you will be a one hit wonder! But, I suppose the pressure is on you now to not completely fudge up the webcast on Wednesday night! Can you hear Glenn Fry's "The Heat is On" playing in the background yet?

    Thanks for blogging today!

    October 27, 2008 at 5:11 pm |
  5. patimc

    Hey Jack,

    Maybe Sammy was just trying to get herself a screen test and give Beverly Hills Chihuahua a run for it's money! Seems to me that she was making that extraordinarily cute face for a reason....or were you bribing her with prime rib?

    Look at it this way, at least she just barked. I mean, think about it, it coulda been worse...............yikes!

    Keep posting man, so happy that you are getting your own contributors tab. All right! Well deserved dude. Keep on writing – you make us all smile (not to mention laugh our butts off). Oh and keep posting pictures of Sammy – she is adorable – that face! Aw!

    Can't wait to see you Wednesday. And please don't be nervous, it is just we – your adoring public!

    October 27, 2008 at 5:00 pm |
  6. Lee

    I'm with Dee in CT – bring Sammy with you and have Anderson watch him. Hopefully he is potty trained and won't pee on Anderson's leg.

    October 27, 2008 at 4:56 pm |
  7. Heather,ca

    Thanks again for the lovely descriptive visual. I think Sammy is saying hey, see this Bon Jovi look alike, he isnt just any look alike. Hes the man behind the man. Sammy seems to be a very smart dog. She knows how to network in a doggy like way. Like I always say animals are always honest. They dont care how much money you make just as long as they are the center of your undivided attention. I say let Sammy decide who to vote for. Dont tell me you are going to a AC360 special behind the scenes podcast with Sammy the dog getting the dogon truth from the candidates. The roving reporter goes noes to noes. What a cutiepie Sammy is.

    October 27, 2008 at 3:50 pm |
  8. Terri from Atlanta

    Why don't you appear on the Friday AC 360 show.....in costume!!

    October 27, 2008 at 3:25 pm |
  9. Lee

    Hey, Jack, for a Christmas treat, maybe your dog can do his very own rendition of that Christmas song barked by a dog.

    Seems like he's got the chops for it.

    Please! Please! Please!

    October 27, 2008 at 3:01 pm |
  10. CAM from Yellowknife, NT Canada

    Great Blog Jack!
    And what a sweet dog!

    I can't wait until this election stuff is over!
    Until then – keep on blogging as it makes the final week of election coverage more bearable.

    October 27, 2008 at 2:53 pm |
  11. Julie San Diego, CA

    I sat behind Anderson on a bus once. I have razor stubble on my legs longer than the hair on that man's head...don't go to his barber, Jack. Chicks like hair. Trust me. One of my friends got a kiss onstage from Jon Bon Jovi once and she's still talking about it.

    Jack, exactly WHERE did you get your lovely little Sammy? Your good little girl is a dead ringer for Maggie The Wonder Dog, my faithful black lab that died about a year ago. Maggie was so badly behaved that she made Marley, The Worst Dog in the World, look like a goody-two-shoes dog in comparison, but everybody loved her, she saved my life twice, and when we had to let her go, the entire neighborhood showed up for her doggie memorial service. People still talk about her. I think they liked her more than they like us 🙂

    Give your good little girl a hug for me.

    October 27, 2008 at 2:47 pm |
  12. Dee from CT

    Jack – you should have Sammy with you on Wednesday's webcast ... Anderson won't mind – he likes dogs ... maybe he'll even dog walk for you ...

    October 27, 2008 at 2:23 pm |
  13. MAR

    Sorry - black lab.

    October 27, 2008 at 2:00 pm |
  14. MAR

    You're funny Jack. Love your humor and your little dog too! Er, I mean your big chocolate lab. Too cute.

    October 27, 2008 at 1:57 pm |
  15. Theresa, Nickerson, Ks

    Gas was 2.25 here in the middle of nowhere Kansas this weekend, before it dropped last night but since I put my $5 in on Saturday I don't know what it is today. That's the only good thing about living here!! Ha!!

    My dogs are jealous of your dog. All they ever see are a few random squirrels and the cat mafia that lives in the alley.

    October 27, 2008 at 1:54 pm |
  16. Renee

    Presley, what are glitter rainbows? Your killing me.

    October 27, 2008 at 1:41 pm |
  17. lee

    BTW, I still want you to appear with Anderson on the regular show for me and my friends who don't webcast.

    So now it appears that I can never know what you look like nor sound like.

    I am not happy about this at all. Not one bit. It is not fair. Not fair.

    October 27, 2008 at 1:41 pm |
  18. Kristien,Antwerp, Belgium

    Hey Jack,
    if you get stopped by a Belgian tourist asking for a picture: she's not confusing you with someone else ;p

    Thanks for another imaginative post, keep 'em coming!

    October 27, 2008 at 1:36 pm |
  19. Betty Ann, Nacogdoches,TX

    P.S. I want to you keep blogging because we all love you so, but I don't want you to get into trouble either. So just a heads up, keep those Emmys shinny for the Coop. I'd hate it if you got fired.

    October 27, 2008 at 1:28 pm |
  20. Renee

    Jack, glad you are flattered about the contributors list. There are just some folks I don't care to read anyone and once you have voted it doesn't really matter much. Never underestimate the 360 audience.

    On a fun note, you may enjoy a new movie coming out Marley and Me based on the NYT bestsellers by John Grogan. Maybe if you and Sammy run into Marley and John you could get a spot in Marley and Me 2. Marley is a very funny yellow lab for those of you who don't know her.

    It looks like I will be back on 360 by Wednesday. My Tampa Bay Rays ...well...what can I say?

    October 27, 2008 at 1:18 pm |
  21. Terra Hoskins

    Chuck Norris is so badass that he could "tow the presidential limousine down Pennsylvania Avenue with a rope in his teeth" and both hands tied behind his back.


    Thanks for putting things into perspective.

    And don't be baffled by your fame, Jack, you're gonna live forever!

    October 27, 2008 at 1:15 pm |
  22. anne,newfoundland,canada


    as always your posts are awesome......

    and love the pic of your doggy!LOL

    If you are in need of a haircut,get the name of Anderson's barber....

    he will take a bit off the top(and especially the sides),for sure.....

    great to hear you will be appearing on Wednesday...

    you public awaits!

    Gas where I am is now $1.12 per litre,for the regular stuff.......

    I would have thought that it would be lower than this by now,considering the price of oil these days......

    they CLAIM to be regulating it here.....

    hmmm,not quite sure about that one...

    why so slow dropping here?

    October 27, 2008 at 1:04 pm |
  23. Betty Ann, Nacogdoches,TX

    Hey Jack!
    Sammy is so lovable. You know dogs are a good judge of character so I will forever look at Mr. Speilberg with a suspicious eye.
    Most of my dogs are completely friendly, including my loveable Rottie. But, my Granddog who now lives with me is not very nice. He would take to Mr.Spielberg either.
    Yeah, my daughter graduated from college in August and then, she and her dog moved back in with me. I changed her name to "boomerang".
    I really love her little pek-a-poo or whatever he is.Wriggley is the name. He is quite the delight until he meets someone like Mr. Spielberg. He does what I call "bait and bite". When he greets someone with that funny smell (like Mr. Spielberg), he grabs a ball and wags his tail. When the "person" he does not like tries to pet him, he bites!
    You should see those funny little bite marks he makes. He is in terrible need of a doggie orthodontist!
    Anywho, the republican sign stealers came back to my house. No, the punks didn't steal my signs this time. They gave me a "gift" of McCain/Palin signs in my yard. Now it appears I support both candidates!
    Aren't rednecks cute?
    Time to send my dog back to Republican Headquarters to "speak" and teach again.
    Thanks for the blog and congrats on the contributors list. You and Sammy deserve the best so throw away his wine bag and get him a proper glass!

    October 27, 2008 at 1:03 pm |
  24. lee

    Sammy is cute. And yet sharp at the same time. How does he pull that off, as only Sammy can do?

    Maybe it is the carefully selected scarf tied perfectly around his neck. Carefully color coded to stand out in stark contrast to his dark color.

    I am left wondering what he is looking at. The biscuit you are dangling in front of him? The eyes, it all in the eyes.

    October 27, 2008 at 1:03 pm |
  25. Jennifer - Michigan

    Hi Jack, Great post, as always! Very funny! It was so nice to see your name up there again when I checked in. This morning, I was at a pumpkin patch with my son and his pre-school class. Hay ride, cider, apples, corn maze, etc. Lots of fun – we even took the bus to get there. His first time on a "real bus" – very exciting – he had a permanent smile on his face.
    Man, it was cold today though, should have worn my wool socks, I don't know what I was thinking. Have a great day today, I look forward to seeing the web cast on Wednesday. I'm sure that you'll do great! See ya.

    October 27, 2008 at 12:53 pm |
  26. Presley

    Sooo, is it now safe to assume you are sporting a quasi Bono-Bon Jovi type mullet hair? Business in the front, party in the back coif?
    As long as tourists aren't asking for an "Achy Breaky Heart" impromptu line dance off, Just sayin'.
    And to be all political and serious, I hope your prediction is right about Obama winning.
    Chuck Norris will have to excuse my beauty and work it out on his Total Gym with Wesley Snipes and Christie Brinkley.

    Sammy just wanted a Close Encounter of The Epic Kind, good for Mr. Spielberg for being a good sport.

    ♥'s and glitter rainbows jack.
    Hey, maybe your Name can be in "Glitter Text" in the contributors column.

    October 27, 2008 at 12:50 pm |
  27. Suzy - Edmonton, AB

    Regular gas is at 94.4 cents a liter (or litre if you're a native Canadian, not a U.S. transplant like me) at the gas station near my house. I don't know exactly what that translates to with gallons. All I know is that I'm a lot happier when I go to the pump these days!

    October 27, 2008 at 12:45 pm |
  28. EJ (USA)

    You should've gotten Spielberg's autograph & photographed him signing with your cell phone so you could sell it on ebay.

    October 27, 2008 at 12:07 pm |
  29. Becca, Louisville, KY

    Thanks for putting a lighthearted spin on this whole election. My red hair has sprouted about eight white hairs since the beginning of this election cycle. But this made me laugh out loud in a way McCain picking Palin didn't.

    So thanks, and keep it up with the Chuck Norris jokes.

    October 27, 2008 at 12:07 pm |
  30. Tavi

    "And if McCain loses, well…Hillary and Bill will quietly sob."

    Are you implying that the Clintons want Obama to lose? Please, tell us more.

    "One quick economic note — there’s word gas prices are down to a mere $2.79 per gallon. Great, I’ll take two gallons."

    We found it for $2.44 a gallon in S.C., this weekend. My thought is that this sudden and dramatic price-drop is yet another manipulation of the consumers' pocketbooks, hoping that we'll be so thrilled as to splurge like madmen.

    October 27, 2008 at 12:05 pm |
  31. Cindy

    You mean you only take poor Sammy out at night!? No wonder the poor girl has smoking and drinking problems! I would too if I had to deal with the night life and so called know it all celebs in NY!

    As far as Spielberg goes...maybe she ought to have bit him. He needs to stick with films and stay out of things he has no clue about...all celebs should.

    And if you're getting mistaken for Bon Jovi because of your long hair then try Anderson's barber! I'm sure he'll scalp ya almost 'till your bald like he does Coop. You won't be getting mistaken for Bon Jovi after that. UMM...although you may get mistaken for Ali Velshi after that though...so I don't know about that one Jack! LOL


    October 27, 2008 at 11:55 am |
  32. Lilibeth

    Oh, Jack, you’ll never ever be a has-been in my book. You rock, man. Are you getting a haircut before your appearance?

    I can’t wait for the elections…to be over. It’s been a rollercoaster of a ride, but frankly, the ride’s been too long and if I don’t get off it, I’ll throw up. I just want the country to move forward as soon as possible. We have so many problems and we have a lot of work to do. I can’t wait for the new administration to take over.

    Have a great day, Jack. See you later,

    Edmonds, Washington

    October 27, 2008 at 11:52 am |

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