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June 3rd, 2008
06:17 PM ET

The art of losing well

[cnn-photo-caption image=http://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2008/images/06/03/art.hillary3.jpg]
Bruce Weinstein
The Ethics Guy, BusinessWeek

Why does Hillary continue to run, when the odds against her winning the Democratic Party’s nomination are so slim? Perhaps it’s because she truly believes she is the best person to be the next President of the United States. Perhaps it’s because she is convinced that, with continued determination, she can succeed at this formidable task. But the reason could be much simpler.

She may consider losing to be a form of personal failure.

If so, she is clearly not alone in feeling this way. We live in a culture that celebrates winners and chastises losers. “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing” might well be the unofficial motto of this country. Indeed, everyone loves a winner, but losers are viewed with scorn and derision. This is more than unfortunate; it’s unfair. I will argue that we should rethink losing and that we ought to embrace our losses, rather than run from them.

THE WINNING MENTALITY AND ITS DISCONTENTS
UCLA football coach Henry “Red” Sanders (who, not Vince Lombardi, coined the expression) was mistaken in holding winning to be “the only thing.” No one would rationally want to live in a world in which winning is our sole objective. There are other considerations that are as, or more, important than winning, whether the subject is football, corporate management, dating, or any other social activity.

The five fundamental principles of ethics are:

Do No Harm
Make Things Better
• Respect Others: 1, 2
• Be Fair: 1, 2
Be Compassionate

If winning were truly “the only thing”, then there would be no problem with hurting other people, cheating, lying, or stealing to achieve this objective. As we’ve seen too often over the past several years, however, the politicians, CEO’s, and athletes who have made a fetish out of winning at all costs have lost their careers, their marriages, their reputations, and sometimes even their freedom. The outrage over steroid use in baseball is fueled by the recognition that winning at the expense of fairness is just plain wrong. Getting rich by destroying the pensions of one’s own employees is, as Enron’s Ken Lay and Jeffrey Skilling discovered, winning at its worst.

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with the idea of winning, but if we ignore the ethical responsibilities of avoiding harm, being honest, and treating others fairly, we will forfeit the most important thing of all: our own integrity.

HOW TO LOSE WITH GRACE AND DIGNITY
With the above considerations in mind, I propose the following rules for rising to the challenge when you don’t reach a goal you’re trying to achieve:

1. BE ANGRY…BUT NOT FOR TOO LONG. It’s understandable to be upset when you lose, but dwelling on the loss, obsessing over it, or making it the focus of your life is more hurtful than helpful. As difficult as it may be to deal effectively with anger in every situation, it is in your own interest not to let anger get the best of you.

2. ACCEPT REALITY. We often tell ourselves, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Unfortunately, we have less control over our lives than we’d like to believe, and there is nothing we can do to alter this. There *is* such a thing as a zeitgeist (literally “spirit of the times”), and all the determination in the world cannot make other people do, say, or vote for something if they don’t want to. It should lessen the blow to realize that there is only so much we can do to affect the change we seek.

3. LOOK FOR THE LESSON. Yes, we learn by winning. (Think about how you surprised yourself the last time you accomplished something you thought would be too difficult to achieve.) But we also learn by losing, if we have the courage to pay attention. In looking honestly at a failed attempt to get a job or develop a romantic relationship, the lesson could be that we need to rethink our approach, or that we need to change something about ourselves. The best way to succeed next time, or to learn how to handle defeat better, is to find the lesson from our loss and take it to heart.

4. CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK. The ethical responsibilities to be fair and compassionate apply to how we treat ourselves, not just others. Berating yourself for losing isn’t a kind or decent way to treat yourself, and doing so prevents you from getting back into action, which can lead to further losses.

5. KEEP ON THE SUNNY SIDE OF LIFE. How many successful people do you know who are burdened by the weight of their past failures? If you let losing get the best of you, it will be all but impossible to go forward. Allow yourself to feel angry, but accept reality, learn from the experience, don’t be too hard on yourself, and move on.

These guidelines are intended to help you make the best of a losing situation. Let’s not forget, though, that the first order of business after losing is to congratulate the winner. Anyone can win. It takes a person of courage and grace to accept defeat and honor the victor. Such a person is will move beyond loss and emerge a stronger and better person…and be a true winner.

This is an adaptation of an article that first appeared on BusinessWeek.com.

Write to Bruce@TheEthicsGuy.com.

Program note: Bruce Weinstein is a guest on CNN's American Morning, Wednesday, June 4, beginning at 6a ET


Filed under: Bruce Weinstein • Ethics • Hillary Clinton • Raw Politics
soundoff (254 Responses)
  1. Amy

    I just listened to Hillary's speech and it was absolutely awful and downright disrespectful to the party and Barack Obama – who has been nothing but a gentlemen during this entire campaign. How dare her keep the divisiveness alive -maybe all the Clinton's including Chelsea should take a course with their millions on 'how to lose gracefully'.

    It saddens me as a woman that someone who claims they can lead the free world has no grace and absolutely no class. In my own development, honor, humbleness, grace, class and respect were essential cornerstones.

    Please make sure you all discuss this at length tonight that this was not the right thing for her to do – it was clearly disrespectful and is not uniting this country – is that not her responsibility now? When will she ever learn? I, one American Woman, with my own voice and my own opinions would never agree with any of the commentary on your shows that she has shown herself as a pillar for women in America. I am embarrassed by her, as an American and a woman in the best country in the World.

    Unity is the key; leadership is the key and so is GRACE!

    Amy
    Houston, TX

    June 3, 2008 at 10:06 pm |
  2. beth

    Anderson,

    Someone please make Hillary go away!!! Isn't everyone are just sick and tired of watching her? God forbid things don't go her way!! Why do we have to suffer her any longer?
    I pray to God that he bestows some wisdom onto that women.

    Sorry Anderson, I'm just upset.

    Have a great night
    Beth

    June 3, 2008 at 10:04 pm |
  3. Iisha

    I can believe Sen. Clinton is so worried about herself that she could not let Sen. Obama have his moment. If she was REALLY about helping people she would do so without a title!!

    -Delaware

    June 3, 2008 at 9:50 pm |
  4. DEV KARAN

    i hope Obama does not pick her as the running mate.
    after listining to some of her speech, it seems that she is still fighting and will take her fight with her as VP.
    she will not accept Obama as her senior...., and will probably spend the days as VP planning and plotting to remove Obama and become president herself.

    June 3, 2008 at 9:45 pm |
  5. Rory Leverett, Indianapolis, Indiana

    I have question for all news outlets. Was Obama adopted by a "white" women or is she his birth mother? If Obama has a "blood" white mother he is not an Africa American he is a Interracial American. I thought everyone was saying that Oboma was not about "race" a "change/movement". And now all you can say is this is a moment in history. Why do you not call him a "white" American. Does the "white" side of Obama matter at all? I am a "white" American and I am offended that nothing is ever said about Obama being half white. I would have voted for a African American, Interracial American, etc. or someone that has a history in politics. We don't even really know Obama, only negative. Is he not proud to be part white?

    June 3, 2008 at 9:44 pm |
  6. Tanita

    Today America lost last chance to get back to prosperity and wellness.
    It is very sad day, Obama won. Now what, bias media all Obama crazy,
    angry, ugly, mad supporters. You made Obama,and you make him win.
    Democratic Party you do not represent Democracy in America. I don't know who is? You are traitors!
    Looking from Canada: The race was fixed from the very beginning.
    I'm sure 200% you are going regret about this.
    I consider Hillary Clinton a winner anyway. She is amazing person. I deeply respect the Clinton's. If she is a President everybody would win, not only America. But... It is sad. Hillary Clinton, you are our hero.
    I hope Obama will lose to MacCain. Obama very dangerous men.
    Hi and his campaign are bunch of crooks from Chicago. They twisted everything and make it look legal. It is horrible people.
    Never Obama!

    June 3, 2008 at 9:40 pm |
  7. DEV KARAN

    can we please get past the skin color and gender of our next President.
    We are fast becomming a bad example to the rest of the free democratic world.
    We as Americans in dire need for an economic recovery, are hopefully smart enough to kick the big name brands and the old corupt Wasington politicans out !!!

    June 3, 2008 at 9:39 pm |
  8. Holly

    John McCain's speech tonight(6/3) was absolutely horrible. I was actually very offended by it. He was so general and vague that I felt like he was talking down to me. I think Americans deserve a little more intellectual credit than that. If he is trying to separate himself from Bush, his ability to effectively communicate to Americans is proving him otherwise.

    June 3, 2008 at 9:33 pm |
  9. jo ann o'nale

    What is wrong with cnn? Where is your fair and balanced reporting? All three (McCain, Clinton and Obama) need the same reporting. Let the public know the truth and let the public make up their mind on whom is the best to lead this country. It was a disgusting remark that was made on McCain's speech by one of the people on your stage.

    June 3, 2008 at 9:32 pm |
  10. Annie Kate

    People keep asking why Hillary stays in – everyone seems to have forgotten that Huckabee on the GOP side did the exact same thing until McCain had the required number of delegates to be the nominee and that race wasn't even close! Huckabee said he stayed in to give people a choice instead of a one name ballot.

    The contest between Hillary and Obama has been extremely close – why should she have dropped out early before he had the delegates to be the nominee. She gave the Democratic voters a choice and she also showed the places where Obama will need to concentrate his efforts to win against McCain. Her staying in the race, while annoying to Obama supporters, may have helped him far more than hurt him.

    When Obama gets that magic number of delegates Hillary will do the right thing and she will do it with grace and style uniquely her own.

    Annie Kate
    Birmingham AL

    June 3, 2008 at 9:14 pm |
  11. colletta waddell

    well just look at who pick the nominee for president in so call democratic party the goverment the senators the house member and guess who got shaft the people of the usa we got a country hater with a wife who not proud of america and aman who votes present instead of for or against well i hope all the so call superdelegates vote because there involvement in this election made me a republican i do not vote for undemocratic parties and so call dnc committee involvement with michigan and florida and wolf you are wrong the goverment elected this candidate not the people

    June 3, 2008 at 9:14 pm |
  12. Mathew

    I am very happy for Mr. Obama and it is an important time in America's history, but we all have to remember he was pushed over the top, not by the votes or the pledged delegates, but by the officials of the Democratic Party (e.g. Super Delegates). He won the "Party Support". Time will tell if he will win America's support. He was selected by the party. I believe HIllary has a good case to be the nominee, but obviously she could not convince her Party. I beleive she convinced the people of America. Well Done Hilllary, I was impressed by your Valor.

    June 3, 2008 at 9:13 pm |
  13. Kim in NY

    Thanks for the great Blog. I try very hard to teach my children these things, but it is very difficult in a world where their peers cheat and steal and praise only the winners. And it seems to be more of an athletic thing.... Hitting a home run or scoring a touchdown gets much more praise than a 100% on a math test or group presentation. I want my kids to be happy, so we emphasize the joy in "playing" the game, whatever that game may be, and whomever wins, wins. The winner gets congratulated for playing well, and the one who does not win is not chastised for loosing. It becomes a very thin line at times, because we do want them to try hard and do their best, but not at the cost of fun and morality. (People think it is easy to raise kids.... Ha Ha....)

    June 3, 2008 at 9:12 pm |
  14. Larry

    I'm surprised you didn't just toss out the 5 stages of death:

    1. denial
    2. anger
    3 bargaining
    4 depression
    5 acceptance

    June 3, 2008 at 9:08 pm |
  15. Allen Tucker

    I saw the McCain speach tonight, June 3rd, 2008....if ANY american could not tell McCain was reading a prompt monitor and that the people there had been rehearsed to react at certain points of his speach... or was being prompted themselves ,they definetly aren't smart enough to vote! It's time now for the BS and lies to start since Obama has won Dem. Nom.
    Allen

    June 3, 2008 at 9:06 pm |
  16. Henry Philippeaux

    I am indeed watching Senator McCain live on CNN and I must say that besides stealing the limelight from the Democratic party and Senator Obama's historic night, he does not inspire me to go out and vote for him. I am an independent. His antics would have been better served on a national TV debate against Obama as opposed to a one -sided, biased and unchallenged half-truths from McCain. I was turned off by him and he certainly doesn't convince me that he is the one to lead me in the 21st century. Sorry McCain!

    June 3, 2008 at 9:05 pm |
  17. Ella Harris

    I find all the attention tonight as to why Hillary lost to be totally misplaced. Why can't CNN focus on the victory of Obama? Somewhere during the last half of this campaign, I believe Hillary's intentional political strategy was to create division among the sexes, races and ages, so that she could use the leverage of that growing constituency as a ticket to the White House (plan B) either as the Democratic candidate or the VP running mate. However, I feel she has exemplified exactly what we need to CHANGE in Washington. She has shown the same kind of stalmate attitude and actions that are reflected in bipartisian politics which breeds gridlock and an inability to reach decisions for the greater needs of our country. She has been so stubbornly focused on her goal, creating her own mathematical calculations, while creating a division in this country that surely is not needed if we are to overcome the tragedies of George W. Bush and continue with the accomplishments of all the champions of HUMAN rights. I now consider her to be a female version of George W. Bush in that her personal agenda greatly overshadows the agenda of the Democratic party and this nation.

    June 3, 2008 at 9:03 pm |
  18. Edwin Morales

    As I watch John McCain in television today he is making me mad. He looks like any old man that think they only know it all because they are old. Why make fun of the younger generation? Is that the best he can do? Please do not make fun of someone because they are young. He reminds me of all those old fogies that cling to the idea of “we have always done it that way” at work. Move out of the way a younger generation is coming and because Senator McCain makes fun of a whole generation do not mean they are not smarter and have better ideas.

    June 3, 2008 at 8:53 pm |
  19. Kim

    It seems to me that everybody is stealing Sen Obama's campaign slogans. First Hillary Clinton had supporters chant "Yes, we can!" and "Si, se pude!", now I am watching John McCain's speech with a banner in the background that says "A Leader We Can Believe In".

    What does that say about the originality and validity of his message?

    Since I don't know if there will be a live blog at all tonight:
    Anderson, I wish you the happiest of all possible birthdays and that the next year will bring you closer to your personal and professional goals.

    Keep up the great work. You are one of the few anchors who brings an unbiased and curious perspective to the important issues and refuses to take sides or influence people into believing one side of the story. You're an asset to CNN and a credit to your profession!

    June 3, 2008 at 8:52 pm |
  20. cindy piec

    We take ourselves way too seriously. I love losing because when I lose I Iearn something. I've lost jobs, lost cell phones, lost at racquetball, lost my dignity (childbirth) and even lost my gumption a time or two. The best thing about losing whatever, is finding something or simply picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and just letting it go. We all need to step back, take a deep breath and embellish losing. Being a loser is not the same as being a quitter and I think people confuse the two.

    June 3, 2008 at 8:49 pm |
  21. Dolores

    I doubt that any of these suggestions can ever apply to the Clintons.
    They are sore and miserable losers. They hate to be shoved out of the game. And there is nothing they wouldn't do to get even. With all the lies and nasty deeds they've gotten by with over the years, it is truly mind boggling that they are still in the picture. No way will they walk away with grace and dignity. It is so unfortunate for all of us, it truly is.
    Thank heaven Senator Barack Obama came along and gave us hope and faith again.

    June 3, 2008 at 8:45 pm |
  22. jessie

    Enjoy it while it last Obama supporters, a year from now Hillary will look back on this day & have a good laugh as she says "I TOLD YOU SO". Any day now they are will be forced to let Michelle loose & she will put all Obama worshipers in their place. HAHAHA!!!

    June 3, 2008 at 8:34 pm |
  23. Ray Pohl

    Obama would have to be crazy to choose someone as his VP who would spend much of her time planning for her next attempt at the top job..
    In business it is seen so often,even Hollywood makes films about it, a person with so much ambition as Clinton will not really settle for second place and she will try every trick to drag Obama down to Failure just so she can say "I told you so"
    Get a real and trustworthy VP Obama and you may suceed in your hopes.

    June 3, 2008 at 8:29 pm |
  24. Wendy

    I think it's a shame for Clinton not to concede and McCain to address the public today also.....why do the other candidates feel it so necessary to steal Obama's thunder....why does Obama have to offer the VP slot to Clinton....this is unfair....McCain needs not to speak....did Obama speak on McCain's winning night.....someone needs to talk to these other candidates.....how would they like it if they had a wonderful historic night and Obama stold their thunder????
    WHAT A SHAME!!!!!!
    Arizona

    June 3, 2008 at 8:28 pm |
  25. Ragsie

    Now we cannot even send you our thoughts???
    I wrote you a letter, about how you are voting for us, you have brainwashed the country with your fifty minutes of Barack coverage, and ten minutes of Clinton coverage.
    YOU have elected the next president. Are you happy you have taken our votes, just as Bush did???
    All of you, all your sister stations, all day, all night, Obama, Obama Obama.
    And who gets the nomination? Oh, could it be the candidate you, sexist CNN do not only recommend, but browbeat the people with???
    And then you pretend you are non biased. Right.
    Thanks so much for your service to the Bush Administration.
    Cissyyost@gmail.com

    June 3, 2008 at 8:13 pm |
  26. Sista Tabia

    Hillary ran a campaign on Bill's past. Then both of them spoke very negatively about Barack. It didn't pay off. They just demonstrated more attention to their similarities to the Republican mentality and politics. Sorry, its time for change and Barack et. al, worked hard for this victory. Nothing was ever been placed on a silver platter for he nor his wife. Hillary has never experienced the middle class lifestyle as a mother. She has never been responsbile for a Student Loan through FASA for nor her child. She represents the wealthy, those who have benefited in the economy. Tonight, is historic, because it represents the manipulation and bribery comes to an end. There is no front seat in the White House for the old worldview and business as ususal. Change means just that. Stop and begin something entirely different. Now, a position as a consultant in a short term contract is more of how she could serve the new administration going forward. The color is GREEN. New beginnings, new prosperity, preservation of the creation and mankind. Barack has a lot of qualified people who have worked hard that have intelligent ideas, and the office of President brings resources. The Gatekeepers are changing and Hillary has lost power because its no longer in the "good ole boys hands but about geniune honesty. The Bible declares the riches of the wealth will be handed over to the righteous. That time has come...we now take it by force on level ground.

    June 3, 2008 at 8:08 pm |
  27. McCain Democrat

    just call me and my friends a McCain Democrat now, thanks

    June 3, 2008 at 7:57 pm |
  28. TJ

    I am glad that the "man" in the pant suit has final spoken! Thank- you!

    June 3, 2008 at 7:54 pm |
  29. Michelle in CA

    Great lessons!

    There seems to be a recognition the Clintons are having a hard time losing this nomination. Could it really be that simple? No one ever seems to know what Hillary is doing. Today Bill insulted Obama and Hillary's supporters threatened that Obama had better put her on the ticket or else...hmm...not great strategies if you want to be asked to be VP. I find it curious the party seems to be walking on eggshells around Hillary and constantly giving her the benefit of the doubt all while she has been demonstrating poor judgement, acting like a bully and doing harm to her own party and her party's candidate.

    I agree Clinton should be respected for winning a large portion of the popular vote, however, I do not respect her for the manner in which she won it. It is her lack of character (hidden behind the rational that politics is politics) that makes me want to celebrate her loss and strongly question her viability as VP. I wouldn't want to have to work with her. It would be a nightmare scenerio to have to deal with the Clinton's egos and their soap opera lifestyle while trying to run the country.

    Hillary Clinton will be remembered for the way she won the votes she did in this primary and the way she loses tonight.

    June 3, 2008 at 7:53 pm |
  30. Joseph Kowalski, North Huntingdon, PA

    I don't like Hillary Clinton as a candidate, but she isn't stupid. She knows she lost this contest and she's only holding out to gain more leverage in her negotiated withdrawal from the race. I'm sue there will be some help with her campaign debt as well as a position in the the Obama administration which could be anything from the VP slot to a Supreme Court nomination.

    June 3, 2008 at 7:49 pm |
  31. Sharon, LA, CA

    Thank you. We should not have to be reminded about ethics but thank you for reminding us as it appears to be forgotten more and more frequently.

    June 3, 2008 at 7:44 pm |
  32. Carol

    You left out Hillary's 6,7, 8 & 9:

    6. Whine that it's not fair.
    7. Blame everyone else.
    8. Assume that everyone has no short term memory so they will forget all of the nasty things you did during the campaign
    9 Try to change your tune completely so you can get the second banana job.

    June 3, 2008 at 7:44 pm |
  33. Karen Conine

    As a lifelong democrate I am so disappointed at the results. What scares me the most about Obama and his wife is the company they have kept over the last 20 years! No way can he get elected without Senator Clinton – but she has more class than that. I will change my party affilation when and if he gets the nomination.

    June 3, 2008 at 7:40 pm |
  34. Molisca Williams

    How historial and yet typical this day, (June 3, 2008) is turning out to be. Barack Obama has won the 2118 votes needed for the democratic nomination, despite odds that seemed ,just a couple of years (months) ago unattainable, and yet the BIG QUESTION of this occasion is (whaddayano) – – – WHAT IS HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON'S NEXT MOVE. WILL SHE BE GRACIOUS ENOUGH TO OFFER HER SERVICES AS VICE PRESIDENT. (OH MY, – – WHAT A GAL)

    June 3, 2008 at 7:39 pm |
  35. Lesley

    With all the talk about our two HISTORIC democratic candidates I have not heard anyone take a look at these factual statistics.

    Female Prime Ministers and Presidents in our recent past have, percentage wise, out done their male counterparts in the job of leading their countries. One only has to look back on the efforts of Margaret Thatcher of the UK, Golda Meir of Israel and Indira Gandhi of India, to name the three most obvious. Which male leaders of these countries have BETTERED or even equaled the achievements in leadership of these women.
    GUYS....it's time to try something new. It's HILLARY'S turn. She has the experience....let her rip!

    June 3, 2008 at 7:21 pm |
  36. Felix

    First I would like to say Anderson is a brilliant reporter and I watch your news briefing every night with election. One of the thing I would like to know with all of the professional analyst wouldn't it had been smart if Hillary bail out as a nominee a few months ago? The reason why I think her rating would have went up with both the people and with Obama.VP I believe would have been her best choice after falling behind instead of draging the nominee out. With the two of them, the election in November would be won by land slide. How come she never thought of this??? She still will make history as the first woman vice president.

    June 3, 2008 at 7:12 pm |
  37. Quentin- Ceres, CA

    Hilliary's participation and loosing in this primary, will only serve to strengthen the Party in the end. Now we can focus away from the in fighting to a UNITED front against the failed policies of the past 8 years. Hilliary should view this "defeat" as an opportunity to be a part of an historic moment. She can play a major role in helping to reverse the effects of the Bush years, and restore the strength of a truly UNIFIED Democratic Party.

    June 3, 2008 at 7:11 pm |
  38. Scott Wright

    I wanted to find out how many people voted for Democrats in this primary, how many people voted for Republicans and how many people voted in the last election? Further, how do the primary votes relate to general election votes?

    June 3, 2008 at 7:10 pm |
  39. Laura, Wheeling WV

    I seriously doubt that it will be Hillary who will take her probable loss poorly. No, it will those of us who are ALWAYS expected to "take loss well", to "grin and bear it" who are fed to the teeth of taking things "well". No, we are fed up with being the nice guy–no pun intended. Minorities discount us as being part of the enemy. White males discount us if we choose not to think like racist pigs. Everybody wants our vote, but nobody gives us a shit. The old "But, they're white women, how hard can their lives be" mentality is making me sick to my stomach. We're not all Hollywopod or Oprah sterotypes. We aren't all soccer moms driving $40,000 SUV's; we're not all wearing the same haircut. I saw on TV a video of a white woman ranting that nobody cared about her as a white woman. The media laughed at her. That's how far down the ladder white women have fallen. They laugh at us!! For having our say!! Because one of us spoke on HER OWN behalf, instead of sticking up for her husband's rights, or the black neighbor down the street's rights; she wasn't rasing money for charity. No, White women have become a charity case, but there's no NAACP to stick up for us, no good old boy network to cover our asses, no liberal rights lawyer who recognizes or cares about us exept to laugh at us as being stupid. The men have the power, and the minorities have the sympathy. Well, now that white women helped get those groups that kind into power, we turn around to find "our kind" no longer welcome. Obama can no longer count on us–white women have become a divided vote, and we will cast them to the first pied piper who comes along. Won't make us any better off, but there ya go.

    June 3, 2008 at 7:02 pm |
  40. Tracey

    Well, I just believe that Obama is not the people's candidate, he is the snob's candidate, am I clear? but.....go on with your "LIBERAL EXPERIMENT" (you know...a black guy and stuff) let's see what happens in November.

    June 3, 2008 at 6:59 pm |
  41. penny johnson

    You people say loosing well, well i guess obama is winning well since the media was so bias for obama. Hillary should run as a liberial so she can split the vote. I am an africian americian woman and i am very disguted at the way this campaign was reported by the media. Obama did just what nagin did he pulled the race card from the beginning but when she said something about race the media jumped all over her but not your fair head boy obama. This is some of the worst reporting that i have ever seen but pat yourselves on the back you got your boy the nomination but can you get him into the white house. I am a democrat i am going to report republician. Obama talks fiction he won't say i have a dream because he will sound too much like martin luther king so now he is saying that we are going to reclaim the dream. We did not have a dream in the beginning so how can we claim one in the end. You people put nagin as a super delagate an he can not even take care of his own city why in the world would i vote for another idiot black man who has the gift for gab and that is all he have. T here is no togetherness because the rich white people will not let their children play with the poor black children and the well off back people like obama will not let his golden play with the poor black children so tell where is the togetherness FICTION

    June 3, 2008 at 6:57 pm |
  42. Kristen

    Forgot, she knows fight, fight, fight also

    June 3, 2008 at 6:52 pm |
  43. Sharon

    Being a woman of the same approximate age as Hillary, I can say without hesitation, it IS about the failure. She wanted to be the first. The first woman to run for president and it looked, for a long while, the first woman to win the presidency. Women of our generation were raised on the fear of failure, failure and embarassment, and knowing there were things we could never have and that we should feel guilty for wanting them. It was part of our training regimen and to some extent still is.

    She's made many errors. Ones that seemed inconceivable just a few months ago, especially in a woman so accomplished and savy. The biggest mistake was putting Bill out on the campagin trail. It's not the first time in history a man has cost his wife a treasured prize.

    Some of us even suspect that Bill has subconsciously done it on purpose. That perhaps he has wanted to be the only star in the family. Lately, he seems to be losing the battle against some fatal flaw, one that may take them both down. He's not the same Bill he once seemed to be, the one that appeared to understand the carefully crafted word or phrase. The diplomatic Bill. It seems that some sort of facade has been stripped away, the shiny gild covering, and all that's left is the junk metal underneath.

    I can only imagine her heart break at knowing she didn't do it entirely to herself. That she had the help of someone she should have been able to trust. My grandmother always said, "If they betray you once, you're a fool if you think they won't do it again."

    I'd love to see her as vice president, if only to prove that the dream still lives for the distaff side. I was always torn between Hillary and Obama anyway. I am a product of the 60's, so any miniority gaining power rings pure for me.

    My only advice to Obama if he selects her as VP is: Hone an iron clad agreement with her that keeps Bill far, far away. I can't see the man as being anything but a nightmare to either of them. Send him to a different continent every week. The woman needs a rest. So do the rest of us.

    June 3, 2008 at 6:52 pm |
  44. Kristen

    Hillary doesnt know what Grace and Dignity are. Neither words are in her vocabulary. Its all me, me, me....win, win, win.

    June 3, 2008 at 6:51 pm |
  45. JC- Los Angeles

    With all due respect, you seem to have been in academia too long and need a dose of reality. The reason that Hillary has stayed in the race is that she truly believes that she is the best candidate and if given the chance will do a much better job than the eventual winner. History will prove that her logic is correct but in the end she will lose. As a society, we have been failed by so many of our leaders. Time and time again, the so called winners actually prove to be abject losers. After 911, Katrina, $4 gas prices, corporate malfeasance, the Iraq war and the mortgage meltdown, it's not too difficult to call Bush (a winner of an election) a loser. Alan Greenspan? Drop interest rates after 911 so everyone won't see the real recession; continue to drop rates while not understanding his audience; drop rates some more as the "instant gratification" society goes nuts; total loser; Catholic church? just move the abusers to other churches; say what? total losers. How about Wall Street? buy endless amount of fraud loans and then wonder what happened; say what? total losers. How about the mortgage banks? Countrywide, WAMU, Wells Fargo, Bear Stearns, Wachovia, Bank of America? write endless fraud loans and dump them to Wall Street; secondary markets shut down and they're dead in the water; whoops! total losers. Bush sends a woman of color to the Middle East to broker peace? say what; a winner wouldn't make this error. How about high paid coaches? coach a team, do a shoddy job, get paid millions to leave; total losers. How about Obama? tangible experience? no; military experience? no; foreign policy experience? no; solid friends? no; non-segregationist spiritual advisors? no way; but he wants to be President of the United States? yes indeed. It's as if our society has embraced the Hollywood axiom of failing upward and applied it to every aspect of society. If 100 people are in a room and 99 are lying and one guy is telling the truth, surely he must be a fool. Hillary and her pending exit has absolutely nothing to do with losing but everything to do with yet another winner having to watch another loser ascend to unfathomable heights.

    June 3, 2008 at 6:48 pm |
  46. Lauren, Wheeling WV

    I seriously doubt that it'll be Hillary who takes her (probable, possible) loss poorly. No it will be those who support her. We as women–we as Caucasian women–feel trampled by the surge in today's society to outcast us, while simultaeuously professing to court us. No, we are

    June 3, 2008 at 6:44 pm |
  47. Jan from Wood Dale IL

    You forgot the most important reason Senator Clinton continued to run...it's because she promised the people that she would, and she takes her promises to the voters seriously.

    If we can learn from failure, then why do little leagues give out trophies to the last place team? What does that teach children about being a good loser?

    June 3, 2008 at 6:43 pm |
  48. Karen Long

    I am a 70 year old woman and a lifelong Republican and I plan to vote for Barack Obama if Hillary is NOT on the ticket. With news reports today she is positioning herself for the VP spot. She should leave Barack alone and go back home to Billy!!
    Sincerely,
    Karen Long

    June 3, 2008 at 6:42 pm |
  49. Cindy

    Hey...Hillary has nothing to be ashamed of. She ran a great race and had a lot of people come out to vote for her. More than for any other person ever. She deserves a lot of credit for that. Plus she can always run again!

    She opened the doors for women to be seen as someone that can be the president or hold some of the highest offices in the nation. So even though she lost she deserves respect and admiration.

    Kudos to her.

    Cindy...Ga.

    June 3, 2008 at 6:34 pm |
  50. Kent Fitzsimmons,Illinois

    I like this story very much. Hillary can be gracious in defeat. David Gergen said it best when he said it will be very important how the loser loses in this Democratic nominee race. (not exactly the words but close).

    We cannot always win. We will eventually lose and actually the sooner the better. How can we win graciously if we have never lost. Even the mighty Donald Trump has lost it all before. He brought himself right back.

    Obama may very well choose Hillary for VP. If he doesn't she is destined for something else. You cannot change what IS. You cannot go against what is destined for yourself. It will only end badly...............

    June 3, 2008 at 6:31 pm |
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