March 11th, 2008
11:06 AM ET

Just name one woman

Bill Clinton, David Vitter, Gary Hart, Jim McGreevey, Larry Craig, and now Eliot Spitzer.  A partial list of recent high profile politicians embroiled in sex scandals.

Name a prominent female politician caught in a sex scandal.  (Being a victim of a husband's philandering doesn't count.)

I'll wait.

– Lisa Bloom, “In Session” Anchor/360° Contributor

Read more Lisa Bloom blogs on “In Session”

Filed under: Eliot Spitzer • Lisa Bloom
soundoff (74 Responses)
  1. Elnora

    There is a limit. I have often wondered what kind of pep take they give these women to stand behind a lying cheating jerk. This is one of the top ten(commandments) No one should feel they have to support sin. You don't see many murders wives standing next to them when they confess. Even God gets angry in the Bible. I think this is a poor example for her girls and women everywhere. It say be a doormat ... have no self esteem.

    I think Hillary set the national tone on this one. What kind of woman accepts this over and over again, forgiving or Ambitious? She is either saintly or very very dangerous.

    March 12, 2008 at 5:37 pm |
  2. Dan

    Ahh, Interesting... Your argument is that women are just better than men? I think i remember hearing that one in 3rd grade. Can't remember who won though.

    But here's an even better question, name a female President? Or heck, even a Vice President?

    March 12, 2008 at 2:44 pm |
  3. Sally and Rob

    Lisa –

    You are right on! Thank you for bravely speaking out on this issue.

    For years I've been wondering the same. Why do these gracious, smart and independently powerful women tolerate the indiscretions of their husbands? They stand by them in the spotlight at the confessor's podium appearing as if they condone the outrageous acts commited by their spouses. The message these women send to the public leaves me shaking my head. Don't they also understand the message they are sending to their families?

    These women and their families suffer shame and humiliation at the hands of a spouse who seemingly gets away with it and guess who ends up wearing the scarlet letter? Never the Man.

    I witnessed the same thing in my own family. My Dad relished in and flaunted his promiscuity for years and my Mom just looked the other way and let him get away with it. As children we were brainwashed into believing that Daddy's actions were ok – after all he was the breadwinner. He had his own children thinking that what he did was ok. Through the eyes of an adult looking back, how I wish Mom would have stood up to him, walked out and taken her children with her.

    The long-term damage caused by spouses who not only perform, but also tolerate and support this behavior is criminal. Please everyone – WAKE UP! Please Mrs. Spitzer, tell your daughters to NEVER do what you just did.

    March 12, 2008 at 2:18 pm |
  4. Andie A.

    I don't agree with John D. Armstrong's comments. And I'm sure he feels that way because he is MAN. It's always ok for a man to mess up big-time and EXPECT his woman to be there for him. Well, Mr. Armstrong I think you need to wake up. Actually, I think Mr. Spitzer should go and get the prostitute to stand by him. After all, she was worth breaking up his family for. I also think that most men will disagree because they know that they, too, are cheaters!!!!!

    March 12, 2008 at 2:13 pm |
  5. Don

    Bottom line Lisa, maybe she wants Eliot to use hookers. You have no idea what they agree on in there marriage. Your no different than a meddling mother inlaw. MYOB!!!!!

    March 12, 2008 at 1:59 pm |
  6. Wendy

    I can not believe what I am reading!!! He cheating on her with plenty of prostitutes, he could have caught an STD and given it to her and all you people want if for her to stand by her husband!!!!! Oh my God please help these people! what is wrong with you people?? If my husband cheats on me believe me the last place I will be standing will be next to him!!! Her place was to be as far away from him as possible. I wonder if you people would be saying the same thing if it was her who was cheating!!! I bet you not!
    Get some brains women and find some freaking dignity!

    March 12, 2008 at 1:56 pm |
  7. Laurie

    I was married with two small children when I found out about my then husbands secret life. It was ten years into our marriage and I tried my best to resolve the issue. The look of Mrs Spitzer's face as she stands dejectedly behind her cheating husband looks very familiar. That was me many years ago. I have learned the hard way and moved on only to watch this tragedy repeat itself with his second family. Narsisstic men have no moral compass. It is all about them. You stand by their side and help them succeed in public life while they lie, cheat and steal your family's dignity. My advice for Mrs. Spitzer...... file for divorce ASAP and show your daughters your a survivor. Move on you deserve better.

    March 12, 2008 at 12:56 pm |
  8. Zema

    Re: Sydney
    "First and foremost" we are human beings, not mothers. In fact, by standing by her man while he exploits women through his prostitution ring and his marriage, not only degrades her, but sets a horrible example for her children.
    I am a mother, and as such I recognize the importance of my actions in how they influence my child. If she wanted to teach them that regardless of how men treat you, you should stand by and let them humiliate and batter you whether emotionally or physically, then congrats to Mrs. Spitzer.

    March 12, 2008 at 12:29 pm |
  9. babs

    Its amazing that based on the responses men are the ones who mainly disagree with Lisa's comments go figure

    March 12, 2008 at 10:20 am |
  10. Sandi

    Amazing that the majority of the folks with comments listed here that scold Lisa for vocalizing an original thought are men. Stand by your man is ridiculous. The greatest crime here is his behavior and betrayal to his family, his wife and children. She is setting a horrible example for her children by standing by him.

    March 12, 2008 at 5:50 am |
  11. Nicole Vaerum

    As a married woman, I completely disagree with Lisa Bloom. I believe that a woman shows more integrity to stand up and show support to her children and fellow New Yorkers, then hide behind closed doors. Just because she's standing there doesn't necessarily mean it's for her husband!!!!

    Furthermore, let's not take Silda for a foolish, naive woman. She has it together, and that was obvious, and apparent at the press relesase.

    I agree with Spitzer's former Law Professor: "Mind your own business (Lisa)".

    March 12, 2008 at 5:32 am |
  12. Rick

    To: Elle,

    I guess violence against husbands is acceptable with you because of infidelity. Let's see if you encourage the same when it's a philandering wife. What a criminal. If you said that to me after cheating you'd be in jail or you'll be sleeping outside the house like my ex.

    I don't believe any man or woman should tolerate violence. Enough with the nonsense. Get over it and stop whining!

    March 12, 2008 at 4:10 am |
  13. Héctor L. Torres Clavell


    You have obviously hit a cultural raw nerve left over from the days where women did not have the right to appear in court without being represented by their husbands. Wives all follow that painful tune, get humiliated in public, and then quietly divorce! It was difficult to see Mrs. Spitzer obviously suffering the way she was. Yet Alan Dershowitz calls you arrogant for suggesting there is another way to deal with this problem. Maybe he should look in the mirror first to find the clear definition of arrogance before calling anyone else arrogant!

    If you want to know where public figures get the notion that they are superior to others, like Eliot Spitzer clearly believed, perhaps we should look at the attitude of their professors.

    March 12, 2008 at 3:40 am |
  14. Bridgette

    How about the French President's former wife who refused to "keep up appearances" by not attending a White House dinner with President Bush ? Otherwise I can't think of any.

    March 12, 2008 at 2:26 am |
  15. Mary

    I certainly won't rise to your bait. This is about public people responding to a private matter. Marriage is "for better or worse". At least, it seems that way for Silda Spitzer.
    You young ones need to wait a few years, get through a few human, frangible moments in your own marriages (if you have them) before you pounce on others.
    Sit down before you hurt yourself.

    March 12, 2008 at 12:07 am |
  16. Marie

    Claudia, I agree with you. You know, the problem is not so much that a woman shouldn't be able to stand by her man if she wants to, but that it would be inconceivable for her to do otherwise. We still have an old-fashioned idea of the role of first lady (whether of a governor or president), forcing her to adhere to outdated customs and roles of all sorts. If she chose to not stand beside him, she would break out of the robotic "stepford wife" model of self-abnegation, and be deemed as having no class and being an ice queen. If more women were allowed by society to not support their husbands in these situations, men in politics would stand horrified at the prospect of being abandoned by their mates publicly, which would strongly encourage them to keep their pants on.

    March 11, 2008 at 11:59 pm |
  17. ellie

    Ladies Please,
    Can we get a reality check? Yes, he is the Governor of NYC but please..... This is totally unacceptable. When are we all going to agree that this is not okay? If this man were my husband he would have to sleep with one eye open.

    March 11, 2008 at 11:43 pm |
  18. Vanessa

    Lisa Bloom is wrong. Our philandering mayor, Villaraigosa's wife didn't stand by him. She and her children moved back into their Mount Washington home and didn't appear with Mayor Sleazy at his news conference.

    So there has been a woman who didn't stand by her man. Maybe Lisa should do a little more research before she makes generalizations.

    March 11, 2008 at 11:37 pm |
  19. Denise, Atlanta GA

    Funny that most of the men on this blog think Lisa is out of line with her comments.....hummmmmmmmmmmm

    March 11, 2008 at 11:37 pm |
  20. Mark Kerber

    Lisa you are right. Woman who stand by their men after getting caught in extra maritial affairs send the worst of all messages to other woman.

    If my daughter married someone like a Sptizer, or a Hart or a Clinton I'd be sadden if she didn't toss the bastard out on the street under the same circumstances.

    Lisa you are right to stand up for woman and give those without direction a course to follow...right down to their laywers office to file for that divorce!

    Morality needs to be restored and those who have abused their positions need to be punished both privately and publically.

    March 11, 2008 at 11:36 pm |

    Dear Mrs. Bloom, good luck with your career. I am sure your heartless, arrogant attack of Mrs. Spitzer's support of her husband and for that matter the purpose of marriage i.e. "for better for worse" is phenomenal. The vehemence of your misinformed arguments and your lack of compassion can only be attributed to your lack of either real life experience or someone willing to engage in any controversy to further her career. I just feel sorry for you and all that is ahead of you, which will surely bring you to regret you behavior on 360 tonight.

    March 11, 2008 at 11:36 pm |
  22. Weasel

    I think his wife should throw him out and start over.

    She has to think about her daughters and the message she is teaching.
    While it is fair to say that the message being taught is love and forgivness, I think this is a false ideal.

    The real lesson should be honesty and fidelity. He has subjected his wife to a humiliation that is painful.

    Worse, it is a public embarrassment and a health issue.

    What diseases has he uncaringly exposed his wife to?

    Would he be as forgiving if he caught his wife with a male escort?

    I doubt it.

    March 11, 2008 at 11:36 pm |
  23. Axel Kondoh

    Liza you have really wnet over your boundaries. Personally as a young man I SALUTE women who have the BALLS to stand by their en in such time. Actually it is not necessarly about the man. It is about the FAMILY the children, and the balance and equiibrium of the family as a whole. He did what he did and his wie will probably deal with him in private however... It is normal and somewhat very brave for a woman to stand by her family at that time. IT IS EASY TO GO AWAY WHEN THINGS GET TOUGH...I am sorry but I trully thing that it was the right thing to do... she can dump him afterward but not now that the ship is sinking because the children will take the hit too....

    March 11, 2008 at 11:32 pm |
  24. Carmen

    G.G. Lisa is not out of line. Lisa like you is entitled to her opinion. Women in the political arena have been ridicule for centuries... take Jacky Kennedy and then so many after her. When is it going to STOP? If marriage is between two people then, there is no reason why they need to appear in public supporting the man who betrayed their trust.


    March 11, 2008 at 11:31 pm |
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