Supporters of the law had hoped Maine would become the first state to approve same-sex marriage with a popular vote.

LZ Granderson
Special to CNN

I'm a single father of a 12-year-old boy who every five minutes seem to switch personalities on me.

One moment he's a starving student athlete hungry enough to eat a cow, the next he's a picky vegan.

I'm told by people much smarter than me that this is normal for a child going through puberty. And so, while I am not an overly religious man, I have found myself meditating on I Corinthians 13:4 to help me get through. Love is patient, love is kind.

I believe there is something each of us can pull from that Bible verse. We may not agree on spirituality or the existence of God, but we can agree that love is one of the most beautiful and mysterious forces. When I'm frustrated with my son, or a friend or even myself, I try to think about the characteristics of love described in I Corinthians before reacting. Be patient. Be kind.

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Editor's Note: Don't miss Randi Kaye's report on the same-sex marriage vote tonight on AC360° at 10 p.m. ET.

AC360°

In Maine today, voters will decide whether or not to repeal a state law that would allow same-sex couples to marry. Both sides are expecting a razor thin margin of victory and early polling shows it’s too close to call. People from all over the country are watching out for the results, and donating money to try to influence it.

Take a look at these maps, from the organization 'Freedom to Marry' on the status of same-sex marriage by state:

Find more state information here.

William Bynum says he discussed the new dress-wearing ban policy with Morehouse's campus gay organization.

David A. Love
The Grio

Morehouse College, that legendary institution of higher learning in Atlanta, recently enacted a new dress code for its all-male student body. The dress code, called the "Appropriate Attire Policy", is a perfect example of the good, the bad, and even worse, the homophobic.

The policy – based on Morehouse President Dr. Robert M. Franklin's notion of the Renaissance Man – is part of his "Five Wells" strategy for the all-male historically black college or university which includes being "wMorehouse College, that legendary institution of higher learning in Atlanta, recently enacted a new dress code for its all-male student body. The dress code, called the "Appropriate Attire Policy," is a perfect example of the good, the bad, and even worse, the homophobic.

The policy – based on Morehouse President Dr. Robert M. Franklin's notion of the Renaissance Man – is part of his "Five Wells" strategy for the all-male historically black college or university which includes being "well read, well spoken, well traveled, well dressed and well balanced."

In an 11-point document, Morehouse outlined its expectations concerning the appearance of its students on campus. For example, the college forbids the wearing of do-rags, caps and hoods in classrooms and other indoor venues. Sunglasses are banned in class except for medical necessity, while "decorative orthodontic appliances," or grillz, are forbidden altogether on campus. Clothes with offensive messages are also prohibited, as are sagging pants. Students are also not allowed to wear pajamas or walk with bare feet in public.

Perhaps the most confounding, and yet revealing, part of the Morehouse rules is the ban on women's dress. "No wearing of clothing associated with women's garb (dresses, tops, tunics, purses, pumps, etc.) on the Morehouse campus or at College-sponsored events," reads the policy. Placed conspicuously at the end of the dress code, and so fundamentally different from the prohibitions that precede it, one gets the sense that in the end, the dress code is really all about that one sentence.

A statement by Dr. William Bynum, Morehouse vice president for student services, seems to support the argument. "We are talking about five students who are living a gay lifestyle that is leading them to dress a way we do not expect in Morehouse men," he said.

On one hand, I can understand that a school like Morehouse has a legacy to protect and a brand name to maintain. After all, this is the alma mater of Martin Luther King Jr., Julian Bond, Maynard Jackson, Spike Lee, and others. The value of an institution's stock rises or falls on the quality of its graduates and the leaders it produces.

Dr. Franklin described part of the Morehouse mystique Soul of Morehouse and the Future of the Mystique – abridged.pdf as "a fundamental sense of discontent with mediocrity and nonsense." In April 2009, he also told his students that "Morehouse men must be so sensitive to the presence of disorder, mediocrity and injustice that they cannot sleep well at night until they tip the scale toward justice. Unto whom much is given, much is required."

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CNN

Judy Shepard stood before a massive crowd at the Capitol on Sunday for a single, painful reason.

"I'm here today because I lost my son to hate."

Her gay son, Matthew Shepard, was kidnapped and severely beaten in October 1998. He died five days later in a hospital.

More than 10 years later, Judy Shepard addressed the thousands of gay rights activists in Washington who wrapped up Sunday's National Equality March with a rousing rally at the Capitol. iReport.com: See photos from the march

"No one has the right to tell my son whether or not he can work anywhere. Whether or not he can live wherever he wants to live and whether or not he can be with the one person he loves - no one has that right," Judy Shepard told the crowd. "We are all Americans. We are all equal Americans, gay, straight or whatever."

Click here to keep reading and view the photo gallery...

Randi Kaye | BIO
AC360° Anchor

Arsalan Iftikhar | BIO
AC360° Contributor
Founder, TheMuslimGuy.com

According to a recent September 2009 study completed by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life, nearly six-in-ten American adults (58 percent) say “that Muslims are subject to a lot of discrimination in the United States; far more than say the same about Jews, evangelical Christians, atheists or Mormons…”

In fact, of all the minority demographic groups discussed in the September 2009 Pew Forum study, only “gays and lesbians are seen as facing more discrimination in America than Muslims”, with nearly two-thirds (64%) of the American public saying there is a lot of discrimination against homosexuals in the United States today.

Some of the other key results below from the September 2009 Pew Forum Study revolve around average Americans asked to finish this statement “There is a lot of discrimination against…”

According to the Pew Forum study, the top 5 responses were (in descending order):

- Gays and lesbians (64%)
- Muslims (58%)
- Hispanics (52%)
- Blacks (49%) and
- Women (37%)

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Sen. Kristen Gillibrand will hold hearings this fall to re-assess 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' policy.

Jason Bellini
The Daily Beast

After determining she didn’t have enough votes in support of a temporary suspension of the ban on gays in the military, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand tells The Daily Beast she has secured the commitment of Senate Armed Services Committee to hold hearings on “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” this fall. It would be the first formal re-assessment of the policy since Congress passed it into law in 1993.

A statement from the Gillibrand’s office, shared exclusively with The Daily Beast, notes that “265 men and women have been unfairly dismissed from the Armed Forces since President Barack Obama took office.”

Gillibrand’s fast-track proposal for halting DADT, an amendment to the Military Reauthorization Act that would have ordered the Defense secretary to stop investigating gay service members, was never introduced. Even with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid expressing his support, Gillibrand couldn’t gather the 60 votes needed to avoid a filibuster, according to a spokesperson.

“I thought it was a long shot from the very beginning,” says Aubrey Sarvis, executive director the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, an organization fighting for the end of DADT.

“Clearly one of the positive things that came out of the Gillibrand amendment was that it served as a catalyst for hearings,” he added.

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President Obama signed same-sex benefits legislation earlier this month.

LZ Granderson
Special to CNN

Far from flowing rainbow flags, the sound of Lady Gaga and, quite honestly, white people, stands a nightclub just outside of Wicker Park in Chicago, Illinois, by the name of The Prop House.

The line to get in usually stretches down the block, and unlike many of the clubs in Boystown and Andersonville, this one plays hip-hop and caters to men who may or may not openly identify as gay, but without question are black and proud.

And a good number of them are tired of hearing how the gay community is disappointed in President Obama, because they are not.

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Barbara Starr
Pentagon Correspondent

Defense Secretary Robert Gates for the first time is outlining potential Obama Administration plans to selectively enforce the "don't ask don't tell" ban on gays in the military so that some gays could serve.

Gates says he is now looking at ways to make the ban "more humane" including letting people serve who may have been outed due to vengeance or a jilted lover. The remarks were made in a transcript released Tuesday by the Pentagon.

Gates told reporters traveling with him, "One of the things we're looking at - is there flexibility in how we apply this law?" As the "don't ask don't tell" law now stands, anyone who is openly gay in the military is expelled if they are found out.

Gates indicated he is looking at several options. "Let me give you an example. Do we need to be driven when the information, to take action on somebody, if we get that information from somebody who may have vengeance in mind or blackmail or somebody who has been jilted."

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Elise Labott
CNN State Department Producer

Yesterday's groundbreaking move by President Obama to provide some benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees came to fruition in large part due to Secretary of Clinton, who first put the issue on the table.

It is unclear whether the Obama administration came to office planning to offer government-wide benefits to domestic partners of civil service employees, but Clinton, a longtime advocate of gay rights, was on it day one. Since President Obama named her as his pick for Secretary of State in November, Clinton's transition staff and the State Department had been working with members of the American Foreign Service Association and the group GLIFAA (Gays & Lesbians in Foreign Affairs Agencies) on what could be done to extend benefits to domestic partners of diplomats serving abroad.

At her very first senior staff meeting Clinton instructed the State Department to review whether she had the authority to extend benefits to same-sex domestic partners. About a week later a gay employee asked Clinton during a town hall with employees to eliminate discrimination against same sex partners. The Secretary of State drew loud applause when she said the issue was "of real concern" to her, and that she was already working on it.

Several weeks ago, a memo to employees from Clinton instituting the changes was leaked to the press. Clinton's aides at the time said the memo was a draft, and that Clinton couldn't change policies without an "interagency review" of the issue to make sure State Department actions wouldn't negatively affect other agencies. But the memo seemed to light a fire under the administration, which quickly caught up to Clinton's lead.

Still, the health benefits announced Wednesday for same sex partners of non-State Department civil employees is a drop in the bucket compared to the long list of other benefits the State Department extended to the gay partners of US diplomats serving abroad. In addition to health benefits and access to medical and emergency evacuation, domestic partners will also get diplomatic passports, training at the Foreign Service Institute and housing allowances. Same sex partners will get the same preference for US embassy jobs that spouses currently enjoy, and the State Department will now work with foreign governments to provide same-sex domestic partners, to the extent possible, with diplomatic visas, work permits and other privileges, including diplomatic immunity. The State Department will even pay for them to fly home if a relative is gravely ill. Few of these benefits are currently offered to domestic partners.

Although the Foreign Service has difference rules and regulations which allow the State Department to do more in the first place, Clinton extended the full range of legally available benefits and allowances to same sex partners of members of the Foreign Service. In a statement issued Thursday acknowledging the support partners provide to overseas posts, Clinton said, "domestic partners of federal employees have for too long been treated unequally."

Clinton knows the move is also good business. Today's US diplomats serving around the world are increasingly having to shed their pinstripe suits and get dirty in the field, which requires a whole different skill set. These days the State Department is competing for the same Arabic and Farsi speakers and technology gurus as top notch multinational companies, where domestic partner benefits and allowances are increasingly the norm. Clinton herself noted if the State Department wants to remain a "word class employer" which attracts and retains high caliber personnel, the change is "the smart thing to do."

President Obama has been criticized by gay rights activists for not doing more since taking office.

Suzanne Malveaux
CNN White House Correspondent

Sources familiar with White House thinking and involved in administration discussions with gay advocates:

Benefits: President Obama will announce the following extended benefits for same-sex partners of federal employees:

-family medical leave
-healthcare benefits for the children of domestic partners
-survivor benefits
-hospital visitation

For State Department employees: Same sex partners will be treated the same as spouses for foreign workers and diplomats including:

-use of medical facilities overseas
-access to medical evacuation

Healthcare Insurance

The President will say that he supports providing direct healthcare benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees, but that those benefits require legislation, legislation that he supports. Mr. Obama will announce the benefits the White House can do administratively. (see above)

Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA)

The President will also reiterate his support for repealing the Defense of Marriage Act (which denies same-sex married couples federal marriage benefits.)

The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) blocks same-sex couples legally married in their states from getting federal marriage benefits like social security, favorable tax benefits, and inheritance. There are more than one thousand federal benefits in the US federal code that are available to spouses of straight couples.

The President's position has been he's not in support of gay marriage, but if states decide to sanction it, same-sex couples married in those states should have those marriages fully recognized on the federal level.

Boiling Point for some gay advocates

Last week the Justice department defended DOMA in a brief it filed. Administration officials told gay advocates the Justice department was "obliged to defend it because it was the law of the land, a federal statute" but that the President still believed it should be repealed.

Sources involved in White House discussions say the problem was the WAY Justice department lawyers defended DOMA,  the language used was considered "denigrating to same sex relationships", "the wording was terrible" several gay activists said. When they privately confronted White House officials about this, they were told the President "felt the same way", that the filing was "not worded well" and when he saw the language he was "embarrassed" by it.

Don't ask, Don't tell Policy
 
The President said as a candidate he was committed to repealing the military's "don't ask don't tell" policy which prohibits gay military from revealing their sexuality.  It's a statute so Congress has to repeal it, but gay advocates are pressing Mr. Obama to do a "stop loss" in the meantime, which would immediately stop discharges of gay military personnel.

President Bush implemented a "stop loss", (an order for no more discharges except in specific cases), when the US military needed more soldiers during the Iraq war. Sources involved in White House discussions say there is an ongoing debate over the issue, with some in the Defense department arguing it's not an authority they want to use here. The last public discharge to cause great controversy was over a gay translator. There remains a hot debate within the Administration whether they should "do something administratively or legislatively" regarding gay military.

Who's a couple?
 
John Berry, the director of Office Personnel Management, who is openly gay, is working on how the Administration defines same-sex couples. He is modeling it on what private corporations use like examining proof of co-habitation, joint checking accounts, joint savings accounts, a lease with both names, etc. Sources say Barry is looking at the standards already set in the private industry.

How President's message likely to be received?

Several gay advocates say "this is a good first step." One said, "It puts him on record as the first time the President is supporting real gay rights." "These issues are particularly important to young gay people. The first public inclination of Obama beginning to tackle their agenda, which he promised in the campaign" "But one advocate said the President "will get a hard time" on the continuing discharges from the military. Sources familiar with White House discussions say the President's announcement will be a small Oval Office event involving about 12 people because the Administration was "not ready for a big event."

Congressional Obstacles
 
Sources involved in the White House discussions say another reason there is a delay in tackling the gay community's agenda is Congress. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Leader Harry Reid "have a certain order of things, what they want to get done for the gay community. Hate crimes first, employment discrimination, don't ask don’t tell, then federal benefits. The Administration is going out of order because of the outcry over discharges and the Justice department DOMA flap." Some gay activists are also threatening to protest or boycott a DNC/LGBT fundraiser Vice President Biden is headlining Thursday in DC. "But the White House is not so much concerned about that" one source involved in the Administration's discussions said.

Some critics say President Obama has let the gay community down.

Kristi Keck
CNN

President Obama's decision to grant some benefits to the same-sex partners of federal employees is seen by some as his attempt to extend an olive branch to the gay and lesbian community, but critics say it's "too little, too late."

"It seems to me at least to be a nice gesture, but a disappointment," said Richard Kim, a senior editor at The Nation magazine.

The memorandum Obama is signing Thursday is not expected to grant health and retirement benefits to same-sex partners, as that is prohibited under the Defense of Marriage Act.

"It will absolutely be seen as something good - but I think, for example, it not including full health insurance - that is going to put a real microscope on that question. You know, why not?," Kim said, adding that memo applies only to federal employees, so most people will not be affected by it.

Charles Moran, the spokesman for the Log Cabin Republicans said the lack of full benefits in Thursday's memorandum shows a lack of commitment to the gay community.

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Editor's note: William Jelani Cobb is associate professor of history at Spelman College and author of the forthcoming "Change Has Come: Barack Obama and the Meaning of Progress."

William Jelani Cobb
Special to CNN

Last week Gov. John Lynch signed a bill making New Hampshire the sixth state to legalize same-sex marriage.

It was a paradoxical moment. The new law is a reminder that same-sex marriage is the civil rights issue of our era and just how far the movement for marriage equality has come. It also highlighted the unexpected and remarkable silence from the White House on this issue.

During the campaign, Barack Obama assured gays and lesbians that he supported repealing "don't ask, don't tell" as well as adoption and anti-discrimination rights for the gay community. Those kinds of promises carry a particular weight when made by a man whose very capacity to run for elected office is the yield of another civil rights struggle.

That lineage and the high expectations that come with it gave Obama an amazing degree of latitude, allowing him, for instance, to remain relatively unscathed even when he placed the Rev. Rick Warren on the Inauguration Day program.

But to date he has taken no significant action on this front and, more critically, his administration is actually being outpaced by state legislatures around the country.

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Editor's note: Tune in to AC 360º tonight at 10 P.M. ET to hear what Lt. Dan Choi, Iraq veteran, gay rights activist and opponent of 'don't ask/don't tell', has to say about the Supreme Court's rejection of the recent appeal.

The U.S. Supreme Court refused to intervene in the challenge to the don't ask/don't tell law.

Bill Mears
CNN Supreme Court Producer

A former Army captain who was dismissed under a federal law dealing with gays and lesbians in the military lost his appeal Monday at the U.S. Supreme Court.

Pietrangelo was the only one who appealed to the high court, but the justices without comment refused to intervene.

The provision forbids those in the military from openly acknowledging or revealing their homosexuality, and prevents the government from asking individual soldiers and sailors about their sexual orientation.

The Obama administration had asked the high court not to take the case, and White House officials had said they would not object to homosexuals being kicked out of the armed services.

During the presidential campaign last year, President Obama said he supported throwing out the federal law but has taken no specific action on the controversy.

The Justice Department said in a high court filing the law was "rationally related to the government's legitimate interest in military discipline and cohesion."

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Editor’s Note: Today the Supreme Court declined to hear a case that would challenge the U.S. military's 'don't ask, don't tell' policy that prohibits openly gay people from serving. The appeal came from the plaintiff in Pietrangelo v. Gates, James E. Pietrangelo II, who was discharged from the military for exposing his sexual orientation. A combat veteran and Arabic translator who served in Iraq, Lt. Daniel Choi is also gay and after announcing so on national television, he, too, will be officially discharged from the army tomorrow, June 9. Since his public annoucement, Choi has become oustpoken opponent of the policy. He writes here about the California Supreme Court's most recent ruling on gay marriage and will speak with Anderson about the controversial policy tonight on AC 360º at 10 p.m. ET.

Army National Guard Lt. Dan Choi has joined the fight against the military's controversial policy regarding sexual orientation.

Lt. Daniel Choi
Former U.S. Army combat soldier and Arabic translator

The recent ruling by the California Supreme Court upholding the referendum that stripped away the right of same-sex couples to marry was a wake-up call to me and so many others who thought entitlements and rights would be granted without a struggle. As I fight to keep my own job in the Army and essentially, the jobs of thousands of other gay American soldiers who want to serve their country, I am reminded of what it means to be American. Being American does not mean waiting for others to grant us freedom. Americans don’t hide from doing the right thing. Americans believe in responsibilities. Americans take courage. Americans stand up.

I am a native Californian but I had never marched in a protest, never spoke at a rally. I never felt motivated or compelled. After hearing about the court’s 6-1 ruling, I spoke at the Asian-Pacific Islander and Latino Rally in East LA, then a press conference for the Courage Campaign, then a rally in West Hollywood, then marched with thousands through the streets of LA. We rallied for love, We spoke for love, We marched for love. I wore my boots that survived a tour in Iraq and knew that if they were good enough for war, they were good enough for love. There are many things worth fighting for, but as a soldier, I know that LOVE is worth fighting for.

The reason I came out of the closet was that I had found love. For the first time in my life I entered a love relationship: one of commitment, intimacy, and growth. I felt complete and empowered. I felt the support I wanted for so long. I became a better man, a better partner, a better soldier. I knew that the joy of having a boyfriend was worth sharing with my friends, my fellow soldiers, my family. I also knew how devastating and poisonous the closet was and how crippling and alone it felt. It is a toxic disease to stay in the closet, hiding and deceiving our families, neighbors and co-workers about who we are. The remedy is to stand up and be honest with ourselves, with our loved ones. So we took to the streets and showed publicly that when it comes to acknowledgment, when it comes to our freedoms, we no longer ASK. We TELL.

I believe that the greatest thing we can do to express our love is to share it. When we come out to our parents, we share it because we love them. When we show our love to our neighbors, we do it because we love them and want them to understand. My own parents do not accept my identity, they have made it very clear that they condemn and hate “my sin.” They say they love me but hate my sin. My only response to them is that I love them. I love them unconditionally. I love them without “but” or “except” and I share the truth with them because I love them without deception.

Some people have asked what I got involved with first: Repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell or Marriage Equality. I have a difficult time answering that question because when we realize the discrimination of one, we uncover the discrimination of the other. Some ask me what is more important, as if I understand what is politically feasible, what fits within the timeline of Congress or the President, or the elections. I have no idea what the political timelines look like. I think if I tried, my head would explode. All I know as far as timeline is concerned is that Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is wrong right now, and everyday we wait to repeal it we let the poison infect our soldiers. Everyday we let Marriage Discrimination stand, we let the poison infect our families, our couples, our neighbors. The remedy for both is integrity and honesty- these American values do not go by timelines, they are needed 24 hours a day.

Rob Thomas
The Huffington Post

I am a straight man, with a big gay chip on my shoulder.

A while back on my Twitter page (yes, I know how ridiculous it sounds), I mentioned that, if I believed in the devil, Pat Robertson might be him.

Being a fairly liberal-leaning guy with either liberal friends or Republican and Christian friends who don't believe that being one has anything to do with the other, I was surprised at how many people took offense to what I had to say.

These people weren't friends of Mr. Robertson but friends, apparently, of God. They had "spoken" with him and he had assured them that he was no friend of the gays. He also told them that he loved America more than any other country and was a huge fan of Dancing With the Stars.

The small controversy or "Twitter-versy" (patent on phrase pending) all started when I had made the mistake of asking why two people of the same sex shouldn't be able to make the same life-long commitment and (more importantly) under the same god, as straight people. Why can't my gay friends be as happily married as my wife and I? It seemed simple to me, but let me start off by telling you a series of things that I believe to be true:

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Program Note: Tune in tonight to hear more about Lt. Daniel Choi's activism on AC360° at 10 p.m. ET.

Anderson Cooper sat down with 1st Lt. Daniel Choi to discuss the ongoing plight of gays in the military. Watch this interview and tune in tonight for another report on Lt. Choi.

CNN

California's Supreme Court upheld Tuesday a ban on same-sex marriages that state voters passed in November, but it allowed about 18,000 same-sex marriages performed before the ban to remain valid.

The ruling was met with chants of "shame on you" from a crowd of about 1,000 people who gathered outside the court building in San Francisco.

The court made the ruling on the constitutionality of Proposition 8. Opponents wanted the amendment nullified. They said the proposition alters California's Constitution and, therefore, under state law, was a revision that requires a constitutional convention.

Attorneys for the opponents also said the proposition, which removed the "marriage" label from same-sex unions, effectively deprived same-sex couples of a fundamental right guaranteed them under the equal-protection clause in the U.S. Constitution.

Justices asked many questions when they heard arguments in the case in March but didn't indicate which way they leaned, instead focusing on winnowing out each attorney's individual argument on the issue.

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Editor's Note: Lt. Daniel Cho is a founding member of Knights Out, an organization of out Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) West Point Alumni. He is a client of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN), which provides free legal services to those affected by Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. An estimated 65,000 LGBT Americans serve in the armed forces.

Army National Guard Lt. Dan Choi, who is challenging the U.S. military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy, speaks before a group of more than 100 opposed to California's ban against same-sex marriages.

Lt. Dan Choi, an Iraqi war veteran challenging the "don't ask, don't tell" policy, is greeted at Los Angeles International Airport by his sister Grace Choi, who made him a "Don't Hide" t-shirt.

Army National Guard Lt. Dan Choi, who is challenging the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy, arrives in Los Angeles to participate in gay rights rallies.

President Obama vowed to repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell rule on gays in the military. Why hasn't it happened? Joe Johns reports.