A recent poll found 23 percent of respondents think former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer should get the nod as the naughtiest politician of 2008.

Donna Brazile
CNN Contributor

As poll after poll quantifies the public’s immense admiration for Barack Obama as the incoming 44th president of the United States, other politicians, especially those elected to serve in the U.S. Congress, continue to yield approval numbers low enough to flash-freeze an elephant (or a donkey) in under a minute.

They have only themselves to blame.

Their troubles come against the backdrop of the seemingly endless scandals involving elected officials from across the nation and both sides of the political aisle, from New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer to Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick to Idaho Sen. Larry Craig to Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich to U.S. Rep. Tim Mahoney of Florida, who only two short years ago was voted into office as a moral crusader to replace disgraced former Congressman Mark Foley.

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Faye Wattleton, President, Center for the Advancement of Women

While political sex scandals are nothing new, the media’s scrutiny of their impact on politicians’ spouses is a relatively new topic of conversation.

As far back as we know, men in power have engaged in extra-marital affairs.  It wasn’t until then-First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton, perhaps due to her elevated profile on universal health care reform, endured the public humiliation of standing beside her husband, before a phalanx of cameras on live national television, did the public begin unrestrained discussion and debate about the behavior of the victims, especially that of the politician’s wife. “Stepford Wife” was a label often uttered by the disdainful; others defended her stoicism.

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It must be excruciating for Silda Spitzer to wake up to today’s news coverage:  Photographs and the life story of her husband’s prostitute plastered all over the New York tabloids and cable television.

Having endured the public humiliation of literally standing by her man twice in the last three days as he confessed to betraying her, now she can see the 22-year old face and bikini-clad body of the Ashley Dupre, for whom Eliot Spitzer paid thousands of dollars for sex in the Mayflower Hotel the day before Valentine’s Day.

It’s far more than any of us wanted to know, that our Harvard Law-educated middle-aged governor turned away from his loyal, attractive, Harvard Law-educated middle-aged wife and was willing to risk his career and his family’s dignity for sex with a young woman only a few years older than his teenaged daughters.

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Standing in front of Ms. Dupré’s apartment last night, I got that awful feeling that I was contributing to the glamorization of prostitution. A fancy address, a doorman, young fashionable people walking in and out, with the implicit message: “all this could be yours if you enter the world of so-called high end hookers”.

Having seen my share of women who are suddenly famous because of the people they “service”, I can say Ashley Dupré is in for a rough ride.

Read between the lines of her MySpace story and I see a young girl, confused and simply used by so many in her life.  She even told the NYTimes she doesn’t know how she can pay for her apartment since a man she was living with walked out.

All of it tragically sad, and sadly glamorous in a spotlight that I feel will leave Ms. Dupré in a dark shadow once we in the media focus our lights elsewhere.

- Drew Griffin, CNN Special Investigations Unit Correspondent

Should you stand by your man? Opinions often differ between men and women and they also differ based on your own individual past stories.

Someone who has been burned tends to feel “NO WAY!” and those that have either been the betrayer or know something about having made a mistake and hurt someone, think it’s pretty reasonable to stay with your man.

The answer to what you should do is really quite complicated because infidelity can be the symptom of a very sick marriage that once repaired could thrive well.  It’s also complicated because despite feelings of betrayal, humiliation, anger and sadness a woman may very well still love this man that she has built a family and a life with. Divorce has tragic consequences both emotional and financial for both partners as well as for the children.

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The details coming out about what soon-to-be former NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer may have been involved in, with whom, and for how long are compelling.  Every time I finish reading one article, a link to another seems to grab my mouse like a magnet. But there are other stories out there, and I thought you may want to learn more about them, too.  So… here goes.

An honors student, vice president of his eighth grade class, suspended for buying a bag of Skittles in school.  I admit, when I first saw this story my initial reaction was, “Give me a break!” But as I read more takes on this tale, my outrage softened a bit.

New Haven, Connecticut, schools banned in-school candy sales in 2003 as part of a wellness program. This (seemingly) model student said he didn’t realize the ban was in place – though his buyer said this Skittles dealer was being secretive – and his mom is now protesting the punishments.

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By now you’ve heard that Eliot Spitzer has stepped down as Governor of New York.  But he still could face serious criminal charges, and that got me thinking about prostitution.

I’ve tried a lot of those cases. And here’s what you learn right away: as much as the sex trade is about sex, it’s also about trade. Business. Supply and demand.

Where I practiced law in California, the criminal code is gender neutral. It targets anyone engaged in the commercial sex trade. The girls, their johns, even the pimps when you can catch them.

Not so here in New York where the women involved in prostitution have long been treated more harshly than the men. But Eliot Spitzer changed all that, with a new law that increases penalties for the men who solicit sex.

The thinking?  Cut off demand and supply will dry up.  And that’s the tragic irony. Now, it seems, Governor Spitzer may be one of the very johns his new law seeks to punish. 

- Jami Floyd, “In Session” Anchor/360° Contributor

Read more Jami Floyd blogs on “In Session”

While the nation’s mouths are hanging open at Gov. Eliot Spitzer, every time his public apology airs I can’t take my eyes or my mind off of his poor wife, Silda Wall Spitzer. Why is it that she stood there beside her husband during his public admission yesterday afternoon? It certainly wasn’t to better herself. Gov. Spitzer’s advisors probably deemed the “stand by your man” philosophy necessary, but her presence at her husband’s press conference yesterday only truly benefited Gov. Spitzer, leaving Silda most likely irreparably humiliated. Nobody’s doing damage control in Silda’s camp. While advisors may see it as a team effort, why does that have to trump your personal pride?

Also, I wonder, when did he tell Silda? And what did she think? Gov. Spitzer became the New York Attorney General in 1999 and built his career fighting corporate corruption and investigating prostitution. In fact, in 2004 Gov. Spitzer was part of an investigation that arrested 18 people on charges of promoting prostitution.

This allegation that he repeatedly hired high-end prostitutes is a heavy blow to anyone vowing “till death do us part.”   Even if she is there for him “in sickness and in health,” did Silda have to be at the press conference?

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Hurt. Upset. Confused. Like a punch in the gut. That’s how one of Eliot Spitzer’s political allies and friends described his reaction to the news of the New York Governor’s alleged link to a prostitution ring.

He told me he’s still reeling, and still trying to make sense of it all.  Remember, Spitzer is the guy who went after Wall Street and big business for “the little guy”; he was a champion of The People.  He brought down prostitution rings.  He talked about responsibility of government, of lawmakers, of citizens; he built his campaign on that… and on ethics. 

And one man says we all should have seen this fall coming.  Charlie Gasparino, author of “King of the Club: Richard Grasso and the Survival of the New York Stock Exchange,” covered Spitzer’s Wall Street crusades and says the signs were always there.  Characterizing him as “holier than thou,” this afternoon Gasparino also told me Spitzer had “the zealot’s gleam” in his eye, and that lawmaker “always thought he was above it all.”

If it was so obvious, why did everyone seem to miss the signs?

- Erica Hill, 360° Correspondent 

Program note: Tonight on 360° Erica Hill takes a closer look at Gov. Spitzer with some of the people who thought they knew him the best.

Editor’s note: Robert Weiss is founder and Executive Director of The Sexual Recovery Institute, an outpatient Sexual Addiction and Sexual Offender treatment program in Los Angeles. We asked for his thoughts on the reckless behavior attributed to New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer.

While some healthy narcissism is required to become a public figure and live in the limelight, narcissistic people whose personalities are not tempered by some humility and humanity quickly show the ego’s dark side of arrogance, secrecy, lack of empathy, sociopathy and addiction.

Eliot Spitzer’s problems clearly go beyond his current legal-political crisis and the toll being taken on his wife, daughters and family life.  If the allegations prove true, Spitzer’s entitled choice - like Bill Clinton, Larry Craig and other public figures before him - to use intense, hidden and illegal sexual liaisons is an attempt to meet some deeper unknown and unmet emotional need of his own.

And it has set him on a course to personal and professional ruin:

- Choosing a casual sexual hook-up despite being committed to long-term monogamy indicates a lack personal integrity and is guaranteed to put up an emotional wall between you and your partner.

- Choosing to frequently and continuously seek sexual hook-ups outside of your monogamous relationship, while lying about the behavior, either means that you have no respect or appreciation of your partnership OR that you have an emotional problem.

Hopefully he will be smart enough to take heed now and get the help he so clearly needs. By doing that, his downfall could also sow some seeds toward redemption if he is willing to learn from his mistakes.

But first the Governor would need to be less myopically focused on saving his job and more attentive to his own emotional and personal life.  One act of good faith on his part might be to leave his struggling wife at home in the difficult days to come and take his public lumps like a man.

- Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT

www.sexualrecovery.com

Program note: Robert Weiss will be a guest on tonight’s 360° at 10p ET