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March 11th, 2010
03:55 PM ET

Michael Moore: Replace Rahm with me

Program note: Hear from Michael Moore tonight on AC360°. Anderson will ask him about his take on health care reform, the insurance industry, the cost of medical care, and his offer to serve as chief of staff. Tune in tonight at 10pm ET.

Michael Moore

Dear President Obama,

I understand you may be looking to replace Rahm Emanuel as your chief of staff.

I would like to humbly offer myself, yours truly, as his replacement.

I will come to D.C. and clean up the mess that's been created around you. I will work for $1 a year. I will help the Dems on Capitol Hill find their spines and I will teach them how to nonviolently beat the Republicans to a pulp.

And I will help you get done what the American people sent you there to do. I don't need much, just a cot in the White House basement will do.

Now, don't get too giddy with excitement over my offer, because you and I are going to be up at 5 in the morning, 7 days a week and I am going to get you pumped up for battle every single day. Each morning you and I will do 100 jumping jacks and you will repeat after me:

"THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ELECTED ME, NOT THE REPUBLICANS, TO RUN THE COUNTRY! I AM IN CHARGE! I WILL ORDER ALL OBSTRUCTIONISTS OUTTA MY WAY! IF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DON'T LIKE WHAT I'M DOING THEY CAN THROW MY ASS OUT IN 2012. IN THE MEANTIME, I CALL THE SHOTS ON THEIR BEHALF! NOW, CONGRESS, DROP AND GIVE ME 50!!"

Then we will put on our jogging sweats and run up to Capitol Hill. We will take names, kick butts, and then take some more names. If we have to give a few noogies or half-nelson's, then so be it. In our pockets we will have a piece of paper to show the pansy Dems just how much they won by in 2008 - and the poll results that show the majority of Americans oppose the Afghanistan and Iraq wars and want the bankers punished. Like drill sergeants, we will get right up in their faces and ask them, "WHAT PART OF THE PUBLIC MANDATE DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND, SOLDIER?!! DROP AND GIVE ME 50!"

I know this is the job Rahm Emanuel was supposed to be doing.

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soundoff (6 Responses)
  1. mike

    I used to dislike M.Moore but i do respect him a bit more than i did but seriously he needs to grow up. He has a lot of potential if he would just learn to grow up and stay serious. I mean really, to tell the president that he needs to repeat every morning.... That just shows he is not serious in offering his services. if M.Moore were to run up to the capital, he would probably have a heart attack. lose some weight first Mike for your health sake. The picture of an overweght person telling soldiers to drop and give me 50, is rather amusing. I did like his Guantanamo Bay visit for healthcare very poingnant.

    March 11, 2010 at 9:14 pm |
  2. April Reeves

    I would LOVE to see Michael Moore in this position. We don't have the guts to put someone in like him though. We continue to elect people that have no desire in serving our common interests. Until we pull away from that mindless mindset, we will continue to have the problems we face.

    March 11, 2010 at 7:33 pm |
  3. Bernard

    If we can have an African-American in The White House for the very first time in history, then President Barack Obama, the man I voted for, because I HOPE CHANGE OCCURS, can take Mr Michael Moore as Chief of Staff.

    What's the WORST that can happen? He resigns at the request of The President? and someone else steps in?

    Michael Moore all the way.

    C'mon Barack. Let's have a beer. You, me, and Michael Moore.

    March 11, 2010 at 7:02 pm |
  4. Tim Gibson

    It certainly could not be worse than what we have now.

    March 11, 2010 at 6:37 pm |
  5. A. Smith, Oregon

    Perhaps Michael Moore could help replace the do-nothing Harry Reid with a Democratic US Majority Senate Leader that will push the 290 pending Congressional bills thru the Senate chambers and into law. There are at least 30 of those bills of major importance to America's future. Meanwhile the meek Harry Reid is to afraid of stepping on his own shadow, much less on the toes of the US Republican Senators.

    Go for it Michael, get the Senate back on course before the Democratic majority's have entirely wasted their time and advantage in office.

    March 11, 2010 at 5:25 pm |
  6. Philoan M. Tran - Houston

    Very cool Michael! I support you as chief-of-staff for Obama administration and maybe the clean up can begin with the White House.

    March 11, 2010 at 4:05 pm |