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March 5th, 2010
12:01 PM ET

Coffee, tea, or politics?

Tom Foreman | BIO
AC360° Correspondent

No sooner have the Tea Partiers briefly backed down from the ramparts to regroup and redeploy, then comes word of another disgruntled group heating up the water: The Coffee Party! Like the tea crowd, they too want more accountable government, an alternative to the two big parties, and perhaps…oh say, a biscotti or scone. And could you make that to go, please? I have to get to the dry cleaners before overturning the government.

I can’t predict where the Tea or Coffee crowds will wind up with their pitchforks, torches, and shiny, silver insulated commuter cups, but they do have me thinking about all the other beverage-themed political movements we should probably have in the works considering the sad state of our government. And if we could somehow actually link participation in our democracy to every purchase of these refreshments, then I think we’d really be on to something.

Imagine the power of the Diet Cola Party. It would be refreshing, offer a quick caffeine pick-me-up, and available at any convenience store 24 hours a day. “Hey hon, I’m going to pull over for some gas. Want a beverage? Snack? To weigh in on the health care debate?”

I suppose the Bottled Water Party would siphon off a lot of the liberals. The Iced Tea Party would go to the conservatives, but mainly in the summer with some lemon and mint. The Orange Juice Party would probably be disproportionately huge because of the Florida and California crowds.

The White Wine Party would load up on young urban females, but in moderation. “No more for me, thanks. I try to keep my political participation down to one or two at dinner.” The Red Wine Party would have little impact, but the best political conventions ever. The Beer Party would be pretty much the same, but all their meetings would be in Pensacola and involve some kind of competition with trucks. Mind you, the Micro-Brew Caucus would have all sorts of delusions of grandeur, and with a great pale wheat taste!

I think this can work. We’ll use the Internet to turn every drink purchase into a fraction of an electoral vote. And every few years, we’ll tally them up, and welcome a brand new, fully hydrated Congress.

Hey, it can’t be much worse than what we’ve got going now. Anyone thirsty?


Filed under: Raw Politics • Tea Party • Tom Foreman
soundoff (2 Responses)
  1. Tim Gibson

    Natural spring water sounds good about now. Ice cold and refreshing, if we can only figure out how to make it run uphill.

    March 5, 2010 at 12:39 pm |
  2. April Reeves

    What a sad article that is: a total waste of space, belittling those who work tirelessly in the background to ensure our government stays within some boundary of 'reasonable'. Those people you ridicule will one day rise and fight for a better America. Be careful which side of the bread you butter.

    March 5, 2010 at 12:21 pm |