Author, Speech-less: Tales of a White House Survivor
Former White House Speechwriter
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Congress,
Every creature was frantic,
from insurers to lobbyists.
While Americans worried about higher taxes and spending,
The liberals, they promised
big government unending.
From Mama Nancy in one chamber to
Papa Harry in the other,
A chorus rang out
And Ben Nelson was smothered.
"Let bureaucrats run health care,"
the leaders urged with a grin.
"Don't worry about details,
Obama just needs a win."
On Franken! On Landrieu!
On Lincoln and Schumer!
Dismiss all the facts,
Deny every rumor.
Forget about burdens on business.
Ignore the red tape.
We must pass a bill,
any size, any shape.
More decisions by Washington
The masses, they need it.
So 60 Dems voted yes
Most didn't bother to read it.
In despair and their kerchiefs
McConnell and Boehner then slumbered.
They had tried to improve things but were vastly outnmbered
With vict'ry in sight
Democrats smiled with glee
But so did some Republicans, only theirs you couldn't see.
For conservatives knew well
The disaster in sight.
In the bill they saw fortune,
A chance to make all things right.
Soon a thought bubbled forth bringing fresh Christmas cheer.
"Today bureaucrats won.
But they won't come next year."
Editor's Note: Matthew Latimer is a former speechwriter to George W. Bush, defense secretaries Donald Rumsfeld and Robert Gates, and GOP Sens. Jon Kyl (Ariz.) and Mitch McConnell (Ky.), the minority leader. He was one of George W. Bush's chief speechwriters and in March 2007 was appointed by George W. Bush as Special Assistant to the President for Speechwriting. He is the author of Speech-less: Tales of a White House Survivor (2009)
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