Reporter's Note: President Obama is hosting his first State Dinner tonight; which, as I discovered long ago in a rather embarrassing fashion, is not at all like a steak dinner. Although presumably he could serve steak if he wanted to. Heck, he’s the president; he could serve Cocoa Puffs and Pop Tarts. As for me, I’ll just serve up today’s letter to the White House.

Tom Foreman | BIO
AC360° Correspondent

Dear Mr. President,

I have not had any problems with my mail service lately, but I assume my invitation to your first State Dinner must have been lost in transit. Not to worry. I’m kind of busy anyway, but I thought I should mention it in case you were wondering what happened. I don’t want you getting into trouble with the First Lady.

“Where is he, Barack?”

“I don’t know. I thought I saw his car, but it turned at the next corner and went away.”

“He’s written so many nice letters. You didn’t forget to invite him, did you?”

“Absolutely not. I remember I had his invitation in my pocket when I flew back from Asia and I told Rahm, ‘Don’t let me forget to stick Tom’s invitation in the mailbox on our way back to the White House.’”

“Oh, so it’s Rahm’s fault, is it?”

“C’mon, Michelle. Give it a few more minutes. He’ll be here.”

Anyway, if there is any trouble, just dial me up and I’ll cover for you.

“Oh, hey, Michelle. Yes, yes, I got the invitation, and I just couldn’t make it. But seriously, thanks so much for asking. Maybe next time. Say hi to the Indian Prime Minister for me.”

I suppose while we’re discussing such things, I should mention that my wife and I both feel terrible about not having you over to our house for dinner yet. Here you are, new in town; don’t know a lot of folks; yadda yadda. We should have been better neighbors and at least brought over a basket of muffins of something. Mind you, with the guards around your place, I suppose we would have had to stand on Pennsylvania Avenue and lob them toward the front door. Ha! That would have been a good one.

“Hey Biden, were you eating a coffee cake on the porch?”

“No, Mr. President. Why do you ask?”

“Well, it’s covered with crumbs!”

Still, I know that I’ve mentioned several times in these letters that you and the family ought to come over for jambalaya or corned beef or shrimp Creole, but since you have not made it, I can only assume that you are waiting for a more formal invitation. So please consider this it. When you pack up all your fancy-pants, black-tie wearing pals, and you just want a nice evening of chatting, music, and fabulous food, give me a call.

Maybe you can even help me write the day’s letter! Ha!

Regards,

Tom

Follow Tom on Twitter @tomforemancnn.

Find more of the Foreman Letters here.