Dear President Obama #303: Please pardon my memoir

Reporter's Note: President Obama is a politician who has written some books, and yet voters elected him anyway. So perhaps if I continue my letters to the president one more day, I too can escape the horrid fate I most certainly deserve for writing so much…

Tom Foreman | BIO
AC360° Correspondent

Dear Mr. President,

Here’s a good rule for political types: If you are thinking of writing a book, stop immediately and make an appointment with a psychiatrist instead. Especially if it is a book about your life. And even more so if you call it a “memoir.”

Seriously, what is it that makes us suddenly get all Frenchy when we start writing about ourselves? If you’re going to call it a memoir you should have to write it in French, and then pay some guy in Nice to translate it back into English, complete with any goofy comments he’d like to toss in. “So, ah says to moi-self, ‘Senature, vous et tres, tres sexy, n’est pas?” Just call it an autobiography, s’il vous plait.

I’m getting off the point, but you can’t blame me. I’m still swimmy headed from plowing through the entire Sarah Palin book, “Going Rogue,” for the past few days. As political stories go it is fine. She takes the usual liberties with the facts to make her actions seem imminently reasonable, and those of her opponents as illogical as a Three Stooges chase scene. But by and large it’s just a collection of stories from her past and her recollections about those events. Fair enough.

Still, the only thing more revolting than witnessing politics as it happens, is reading about it in retrospect. And for that, neither she nor any other politician should be forgiven. I know plenty of people love these inside tales of backstabbing, intrigue, and secret deals. But to me, most of it is just politi-porn.

I get a little more interested when politicians lay out their philosophies in print, (of course, I’m crazy) and the former governor does that pretty well in her final pages; just like you did in your books. I usually find such writing worth reading, if only to track how your views change as the years go by. But I rarely find any inspiration there. No offense, but you politicians are to “fresh ideas,” what Krispy Kreme is to diet plans.

And yet, you all seem compelled to roll out books explaining your grand visions for America, as if we can’t live without them. Trust me, we can. Still, we all have our vanities. For example, say some reporter took it upon himself to write letters of advice every day to the most powerful person in the world; I would find such activity suspicious to the point of clinical lunacy. I mean…if someone else did it. But me? Well, I have something to say.

Speaking of which, I had a weird missed call on my phone yesterday. Was that you calling from China? Did you dial from some sort of strange Chinese phone? And don’t forget: Postcards are always nice. Everyone likes getting mail, even from a communist country.

Regards,

Tom

Follow Tom on Twitter @tomforemancnn.

Find more of the Foreman Letters here.