NO! Maria!,,,a bluetooth is not from eating blueberries, you must wear one while driving & talking on your cell, it's the law!

I.m sorry Maria, i must terminate you from our friends & family plan!

"...and a gallon of milk? Yes dear. Yes dear..."

-Wyatt Knight

No! Maria!...I'm not driving, Im walking & talking!

What do you mean, my checking account has been frozen?

Italy's great Maria. The only problem is that I have trouble understanding their funny accent.

What do you mean you can't loan me the money.....Maria your family is worth millions!

Absolutely no tweeting, texting or talking while driving, Mrs Schwarzenegger!

Nowadays, if you don’t own mobile, you might be feeling a little bit like a later-comer to a party.

I'm the time of the public phone, in the old days you had to walk to a special booth in the street if you wanted to call someone while you were out.

Maria, There was a time when cell phones didn’t exist. Not too long ago, it was actually possible to survive without it.

I love you Maria, but you had better not be driving!

Maria, I'm the time of the public phone, in the old days you had to walk to a special booth in the street if you wanted to call someone while you were out.

Sarah,
Having invested so much in my education and professional career, I fest I owed it to myself to apply to the very best the market has to offer.

What do mean Im out of minutes?....I have unlimited roaming!

I am the govenator and i will shop until I drop.

ok, so tell me the good news, did new york go bankrupt, or are we still the only one???

Anderson,
If you do not exercise your biceps at least 5 times a week, you will not be like me!

Wait Maria!!!!! I love being connected to the world, but at the same time, this strangling me!!!!!

Mr Schwarzenegger, people are decided between those who will and who will not!

Ms. Palin,
Planning is good. Avoid surprises.
Be a little pessimistic is never bad – helps to act with caution.

"Tell me again: How many Euros must I bring back to solve California's budget crisis?"

Yes, I know my state is in trouble & yes I'm in Italy...but at least i didn't quit!

Maria, I just finished by audition for Godfather XIX and they made me an offer that I can't refuse.

In Italy I have to stay awake at dawn to watch Erica Hill!
I can't believe that!

Ever fearful of parting with his favorite cell phone, Governor Schwarzenegger’s holds on to his phone like it's the Age of Iron.

cost of running for election .....$1,000,000
repairing San Franciso bridge........$500,000
check from Terminator III......$375,000
showing your wife how to obey a state law....PRICELESS

Maria,
Don't worry! I won't go to Berlusconi's party!

Alaska!...thanks but the wife & I will be having Thanksgiving at the Kennedy Compound this year

Maria,
My battery is running out, then tell me what you want me to buy for you!

Asta la vista baby, I'm Terminating this Call.

Tell them not to worry about it Maria..I will be back

I can't tolerate a quitter!...i must un-friend you on Facebook!

I promise, Maria, all Monica and I talked about was Foreign Policy...

CNN Zero of the Year! Ya think?

Anderson,
There is no reward without effort, so while I'm in Italy continue exercising every day!

LOL!..it really is leaning, i thought it was just a figure of speech!

Oh yes Italy is great . . . . . I'll Be Back !!

Maria,
Tell me quick, what is unfriend? Are my opponents?

Walk 1 block and T.L
Walk another block an T.R.
Walk down half a block.
You will then be in front of your hotel Mr Schwarzenegger.
Thank You for calling OnStar, and have s nice day.

Maybe we ought to raise tuition to 50%, these shoes are really expensive!!!

Maria,
Tell me quick, what is unfriend? Are the Democrats?

California tuition skyrockets 32% while Arnold shops in Milan!

Hey Maria, guess what I'm doing? I'm walking and talking at the same time. I'm on a walkie talkie. Get it? ..............Hello Maria?..........Maria?

Why am i late!, you wanted the best pizza in the world!

"It's so frustrating...I try to talk Italian but they don't understand my aaaacent!"

Minnetonka MN

"Maria, I am in Italy, a man from Scotland Yard is following me and I am wearing your ring. But, I have found a solution to Caleeforneea's overcrowded jail population...we will termeenate them."

How many pairs of Ferragamo shoes? Sorry, Maria...I am breaking up.

No no no..Oprah is not here with me..you don't have to open the store just for us.

Of course i know who invented the cell phone....Al Gore!

Maria,I know you're driving.Pull over and step out of the car!

"Maria, I said,'I'd like to see Berlusconi!' not 'I'd like to see burlesque, honey!' "

Can you arrange for me to get on the cover of Newsweek in my jogging clothes?

wadda ya mean the State of Cawl eee Fornia's visa cards been canceled ! OK try card that has Kennedy on it !

What? Milan isn't in Austria anymore?

"Hey Maria, if Harvey Levin and TMZ catches you again, I can guarantee you – there will be 'swift' action!"

Lynda
Nelson, BC
CANADA

Ms Palin,
We go about our lives and only when the world gets in our face do we respond.

Arnold Schwarzenegger calls to fire his agent, citing that he, too, was totally unprepared for office, yet did not get a book deal.

"I'll be wearing my footsie pajamas, the ones you like. How about you?"

Despite what may people think, Schwarzenegger proves he can walk and talk at the same time.

Can you hear me now?
Of course I can. I'm right behind you.

Do you accept IOU's????? My state does!!!

...What, you can't hear me? But Maria: How can you be breaking up? Remember, breaking up is hard to do!

Anderson,
Am I on Beat360 again?
I'm increasing your serious to 100 repetitions.

Maria, I can't talk right now, Putin is stalking me!!

Dallas TX

Can you hear me?
I don't speak Italian!

"WHAT? I'm not the terminator?"

Yes Maria, I will not call them I-tailians, and no pinching.

"Yes, go ahead and pack our bags honey. I can't buy anything in this lousy town! Can you believe it! They all say our IOUs are no good here!"

Ya, 5 pizzas, no anchovies. Will you take a California State check?

Another thing that really gets my knickers in a twist is when my cell phone doesn’t work. Hello???????

Maria, they made me go outside to smoke! When I passed that law, I meant for it to apply to everyone else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cigars, aren't bad, only those nasty cigarettes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maria, your nor driving right now are you?????????????

No Maria, California is broke, we still have plenty of money, and I just bought a beautiful Itilian villa for our retirement.

Tim Gibson
San Diego, CA

Ms Palin,
So, you kind of got my lumps for not being there when they needed you.

Well..You tell Barack ...That if he wants to "REALLY LIVE" come with me !

"Maria, you will never believe this, but Danny Devito is following me right now wearing the tallest elevator shoes I have ever seen."

I am terminated.

Tim Gibson
San Diego, CA

They need computers in Italy too! And by computers, I mean Austrian CIA agents

Mr. Gaddafi, it's Arnold. I'm calling to let you know I'm in Italy, and I've found some good prospects for your new body guard.

Maria, remind me your shoe size again.

No honey, what I'm smoking this time is legal.

I swear if you say there's another fire....

What do you mean we don't have any money? I just bought out Milan!

"Sarah, can you tell me how to get to Seasame Street?"

Corey Peratrovich
Juneau, Alaska

Even his wife denies Schwarzenegger his budget requests.

Mrs Schwarzenegger is been chitchatting since he got here. When is he gonna get on the stick?

Clear my schedule.
I'm going to play the lead in Terminator 5!

Cellphones lead to brain tumahs? It's not a tumah!

No Gov. Palin you can't have a part in my next movie as the evil moose hunter.

What?? Too much cellphone usage leads to brain tumahs??? It's not a tumah!!!

The Chairman of the President's Council of Fitness and Sports takes a break from smoking his stogie to call in his voice over for the latest anti smoking campaign.

"California may be bankrupt, but I can spend, spend, spend, baby."

What`s that noise in the background, Maria? Are you driving ?

What do you mean you're driving and talking on the cell phone, Maria, don't we have enough bad press about this?

Honey you know how depressed I get when MY STATE is in DEBT. So I decided to go shopping in (ANOTHER COUNTRY.)

Look, I said I wasn't going to do anymore "Terminator" movies and I meant it!

Maria... wadda ya mean the State of Cawl eee Fornia's going to raise the price on smoking?

Mona
West LA

Don't wuhrry. I'll be baaahck for the meeting at NEEYAHEEYN tomorrow morning. No need to terminate it.

Hunny, I know I'm on a budget.

NO! Maria ITS NOT A TUMAR> and r u on the phone while driving?

"You're going to have to cancel that dinner reservation for tonight, Maria...looks like I'm going to be working late again."

"Yes, Maria, I bought those earrings you wanted. How much? Oh, don't worry about it. We'll just take the money from education... it works for everything else!"

What?? Too much cell phone usage can cause brain tumahs???? It's NOT a tumah!!!

Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name

Maria,
While I'm in Italy, don't forget to play for me on facebook!

" California, I'll be .. NOT back"

Hello, Maria? "I just called to say I love you!"

Corey Peratrovich
Juneau, Alaska

"So tell me what you want, what you really, really want!"

Corey Peratrovich
Juneau, Alaska

I know we have a deficit, why do you think I'm stimulating the economy?

No, sorry, I'm through with Italian food: I fear I'm just one calzone away from becoming one!

Maria, you'll have to start using your own money, California is way over budget and broke.

I Forgot my Underarmor, Can someone Kindly send them because theY dOn't have any here. Do yoU understand?

No, Maria, I'm walking – it's not safe to use a car because everyone in this country drives like you!

What makes you think I won't stick to the budget, Maria?

A husbands shopping list is just a phonecall away. His wife.

The press is talking about the Cuban Cigar?...hello! Can you hear me now?

I'm almost ready to come home. Is it safe? Am I still Governor?

I told you not to call me on my furlough day.

Honey, there is no Appalachian Trail in Italy!

I tried to rent a car, but we've been black-listed because of your driving.

"So, do you think Giorgio Armani takes IOU's?".

Sheboygan, Wisconsin

Oh! Maria,for a long while I have not said nothing bad about the democrats. Don't get mad at me, please! I bout you flowers on my way home.

" Maria, I will not get George Clooney's autograph for you!"

Mark
Sacramento, CA

The voters vere blind. That Joanna Krupa should not haf been sent home last night.

"Maria I tried to get into the Pope to confess but they were closed I swear!"

Maria–I haven't been able to find the Speedo swimsuit I like? Any suggestions?

Riverview, Mi

Listen, they terminated my cards to help Calafoornia’s budget!!! I am in Milan and all I have is a cigar, couple of body guards, my ring and a pay as you go phone! I told the cashier “I’ll be back!” So, please call Obama and ask him where the bail out money is!!!

What do you mean Wolf wants to speak to me? Wolf who? Who in the hell is Wolf??

Maria, I promise, all Monica and I talked about was a possible internship for her at the state capital. I sweah!

Hey Maria, gotta go now, before these mafiosos beat up my tiny body guards! Tell me why I'm paying these guys again?!

"Terminator 5? I'm kind of busy right now."

Man, I have to come to Milan to get a good Cuban Stogie...Barack can you do something about this?

Just making sure everyone in my office know that I am in Italy.
Narinder / Fresno / CA

Sorry (faking sound of static) Maria (static) must be (static) (click). That ought to stave her off for a bit...

"yes Maria, I tricked the paparazzi into following me to Milan, you can drive and talk on your cell for now."

Craig Monette
Paragould, Arkansas

What else must I buy, Maria? I`m sure we`ve already pulled Italy out of resession !

I'll call you back!

"Maria dont worry i will be back"

"Yes, I can hear you, talk fast before Kanye comes back!"

Corey Peratrovich
Juneau, Alaska

" Talk fast, Kanye just left"

Corey Peratrovich
Juneau, Alaska

"Tell me now, Kanye is crossing the street!"

Corey Peratrovich
Juneau, Alaska

Hi, Maria, the pope sends his regards.

Drop the phone and take the Cannoli?

No Maria, I don't got milk. Tha happy cows have moved to New Zealand!

No, sweetheart, I'm in Italy, not Argentina.

No Maria, I'm not driving while talking on my cell. This is Italy, not LA.
I'll be back!

'Hey Honey, are you driving? now, make sure you are using Bluetooth; I'll bring you back Chanel phone cover'

I am thinking a movie about an aging killer robot from the future, sent back in time to save the Economy for John Conner

Hey Arnold, I like that new turquoise wedding band!

You want me to do a Comedy... After California... I NEED IT !!!!!

I've looked everywhere and I cannot find the Terminator action figure my son wants for Christmas!

Vik
Salem, OR

Hey honey, are you driving? can you talk? make sure you are using the bluetooth. I'll bring you back Chanel phone cover if you stay out sight while I'm gone!

"The cigars over hear are better than Cuban ones!"

Maria, all they have are girlie man clothes here.

"Maria, do you really want that cupcake Car for Christmas?!"

Yes honey, I'm in Milan! No Dr. Phil is not with me!

The musicians did we are the world to help hunger.. I will do a movie with tons of "movie stars" to save California called... "we are the Addicted"

"NO DEAR" I am not smoking

Of course they need computers in Italy! And by computers, I mean Austrian CIA agents.

"I'm calling for The Jaws of Life...I'm like the snowsuit kid in 'A Christmas Story' – I cant' move my arms."

Arnold is spotted on set of his new holiday film, Jingle-Kinder-Twins – the tale of two terminator brothers on a quest to save Santa from his poor fashion sense.

Thanks but, no thanks Sarah, I don't need directions to the nearest bookstore!

I’d like to see Sarah Palin and David Gergen in the same room too!!!

Arnold: Sarah, you can't be called the "terminator" unless you finished your entire term ok?

" No Maria! For the last time, Milan is not an Argentinan town and I am not on the Appalachian trail".

NO MARIA !!-I'm not lying, I haven't had one cigarette since I got here !

HEY MARIA! Remembey my old dream?They`ve ELECTED ME PRESIDENT of the E.U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**************

Governor Schwarzenegger went to Italy and all I got was a lousy t-shirt.

Yes! i put California on Ebay.......you got a better idea!!!

I want to buy California something really special for Christmas this year!

Trust me Maria, noone will know your Christmas gift was charged on the state's credit card! And I think you'll like the Gucky bag I picked out!

I'm walking, I'm talking, I'm flexing,I got a big fat Cuban cigar and I haven't tripped over my big feet yet. Life is good.

Photographic evidence confirms that cell phone radiation causes deep pigmentation on the face.

"Maria (Shriver) You better not be driving and talking to me right now." "No. No don't Text me insted. That's worse"

Maria, pull the car over and please not in a red zone this time!

This cellular device will now explode in T-minus 10 seconds.

Maria, you called to tell me that you're in Prada in downtown LA? well, i'm in Milan. I'll be back.

hello what time i the next bailout meeting am i late or what hello,say hello to my little friend

I am speaking english

When I lived in Austria, I could see Italy from my house!

Once declaring his retirement from office, Arnold Schwarzenegger immediately receives a briefing about an alien, robotic juggernaut preparing to wipe technology off the face of the earth.

No Barack don't hang up. Really, I'm being followed.

Nothing says "I don't want to be bothered" like the fake phone call.

Maria: Honey, are you still feeling a little down about crushing California's economy?

Arnold: I was, but I decided to shop it out. I feel much better now!!

Sherman Oaks, CA

After careful consideration Arnold decides to write his book entitiled :Going Stogie.

Yeah, I had to pay for that Ferrari. I don't get it. It ain't my fault they had to cut me out of it. They need to build the things Hummersized.

Hello Pizza Hut? Yes I'd like to place an order for delivery.....address is Milan, Italy.

Maria, you know how our prisons are overcrowded with many people, a great number of single mothers, for petty drug offenses??...I have a brilliant solution to feed all the hungry little children in our state while saving jobs within the prison system.....Italian prisons allow mothers who are sentenced to prison to bring their children.

Idon't think there are laws in Italy about walking and talking, are there???

The espressos are 20 euro's each. I need a caffiene fix. Do the math. Can I afford a double on my California expense account???

Hello, Anderson, I think you may have pocket-dialed me. Add me on facebook while you're at it.

Honey, im about to walk into Armani, call me once your off the freeway!

"Maria, I need a new security detail. This guy they sent to protect me is a girly man."
Mary Louise, Little Falls, NJ

The bald guy I'm with wants to know my hair club for men contact info.
If I pass him the phone could you hook him up?

These darn Italians won't buy any of our KALIFORNIA state cars. How am I supposed to get us out of the budget crunch? I even offered to autograph them.

Yes Marie, "I'll be back." After I sneak a cigarette.

I'm smoking a blunt! And, they don't suspect a thing!!

"Hey Suze, about those cigars.... Can I afford it????"

I purchased Fiat cars for the entire USC football team.

Not many things can stand in the governor's way, and clearly, a recession won't terminate his shopping plans in Italy.

Can you hear me now?

What do you mean they don't have Sweet Home Alabama on the karaoke machine at the spaghetti house?

Canada just banned cellphone usage while driving. The governor uses his while shopping.

Tell my agent to get me a new role. I cannot do another sequel as govener.

Hey Maria; Can you check the price over there? I bet it's cheaper in Mexico. I'm so confused with this Euro money. How do these little Italian people make it? I should ask them to handle the Californian budget.

"Come with me if you want to live."

Whadaya mean I am not qualified to be president? I'm Governor of Calle-phon-nee–ya!

No fan screaming at him. No pen to sign his autograph. The governor clearly isn't very popular in Milan.

His ring matches his shirt. The governor proves, in the fashion capital of the world, that he is a stylish man.

What did you say? The states' budget isn't balanced yet??!! So why am I smoking this cigar?? I now have nothing to celebrate, hold on I'm going to poke it out......

It's NOT A TUMOR!

I'm walking while talking on the cell phone, instead of driving – it helps offset the carbon footprint from my governator sized cigar.

Well, how low did he bow?

Yah, smoking is like talking on a cell phone while driving... something I never do.

"Let's get this sraight- do I bow to the president, or curtsy?"

Hey, Hollywood, are there any acting jobs available. I still look the part. This job is tough.

Sylvio, you know my term is up soon. No I don't want your job, but how about those spaghetti Terminators we talked about?
Steve, Koloa, HI.

"Jack Bauer? I'm sorry, you must have the wrong number."

No, no, the Italians have banned it too, yes, I'm sure.

"Yes Sarah, I think you look HOT on the cover of Newsweek! Now stop your whining!"