anything you can sing, I can sing better!

Bono: "Oh Yeah? Well, I have a bigger EGO than you!"
Jagger: "NO! I HAVE THE BIGGEST EGO OF THEM ALL! HA!"

Bono: "Oh Yeah? Well, I have a bigger EGO than you!"
Jagger: "NO! I HAVE THE BIGGEST EGO OF THEM ALL! HA!"

Sacramento, California

I said, "My hearing aid is broken!

"It's not my breath, it's your's!" "It's not my breath, it's your's!" -and on and on and on.......:)

"My mouth's bigger than urrrrrrrrrrrs."

Hey Bono You Look Ridiculous! Really Mick? Well its something I hold Dear! Bono U little tosser!!! (British slang)

Bono and Mick Jagger on stage treating the audience to their version of 'Richard Heene – Science Detective'.

Bono: "I've done more than you to save the world!"

Mick Jagger: "Well I'm older than you, so shut up!"

OK, which one of you invited those Ewoks?

i can't get no satisfaction when i still haven't found what i'm looking for.

Who has more bad breath!?

I told you I had stronger booze breath than you Bono.

Waffle House!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"You're not Tony Bennett!"

I did not know that Bono was performing on hallowed nigh and he is allowing fans to get on the stage and sing wit him.
Mustapha
florida

Hey....we're louder than a 5th grader!

After finding the Fountain of Youth, Bono and Mick tape their infomercial just in time for the holidays!

"My Mom's better than your Mom, My Mom's better than yours..."

Bono: "Hey, Mick! My lips are almost as big as yours!" Mick: "In your dreams, mate!"

I'm leaving my glasses to Wolf Blitzer!
Well I'm leaving my hair to Ali Veshi!

OMG...I wish I would have been there to see Bono & Mick...LEGENDS!

"I'm better than you!"
"No, I am the better singer, you !@%#&)!"

"Read my lips , no twitter unverified accounts!"

"I'm better than you!"
"No, I am a better lover than you! @%#&)!"

Bono: "OMG, Mick Jagger! I'm your biggest fan!"
Mick: "OMG, Bono! I'm your biggest fan!"

Bono attempts to pass a large Stone.

Mick: My mouth is bigger!
Bono: My mouth has valid opinions!

Jeopardy Answer: He invented Rock-n-Roll

Jeopardy Question: Who is Al Gore?

In an effort to crown the King of Rock 'n' Roll, Bono and Mick Jagger engage in a screaming match.

"I know it's old man rock n' roll but I like it,like it ,yes I do!"

Rockband will never take us alive!

And then Madonna appeared on stage , adopted both of them, read them her children's book and then promptly grounded them both for not putting her as the headliner.

You're at least 10 years older than me, Jagger!
You lie!

I’ve heard a lot about you.

Newly released photo's of Gergen & Bergen at Cnn's Holloween Bash!

I have to admit... that’s not too bad!

Wikipedia says you're older than me Bono!
You lie!

Mick "Eight Tracks!"
Bono"Albums!"
Legends never die they just change forums.

Can you hear us now congress?

Tim Gibson
San Diego, CA

Bono: It's MY tanning bed!
Mick: NO! It's MY tanning bed!

Bono... I feel good when I’m with him.

"Hey Mick! Open that mouth up, I want to see what it looks like with these 3-D glasses I'm wearing!"

DINO DIVAS!!!!!!!!!

We know it's only rock and roll, but we like it.

You think the Queen likes you better? Well, I was knighted before you!

Mick "Chaplin!"
Bono "Keaton!"
When worlds collide.

It’s hard to sing…I’m just kidding!!!!!!!!

Jumpin Barack flash
He's full of gas, gas, gas

Bono: "MEGADEATH!!"
Mick: "METALLICA!!!"

Rock Stars scream for Ice Cream.

No way am i older than you Bono!
Mick...you can't handle the truth!

I have a lower IQ than you !! No I have a lower IQ than you !!

Mick Jagger and Bono attempt to break the Sound Barrier.

Bono: " I can sing any song better than you!"
Jagger: "No You can't!!!"
Bono: "Yes I can, Yes I can, Yes I caaaaaannnnnn!!!!!"

Bono "I have a million twit followers!"
Mick" Well, I have a million friends on Facebookless."
Rockin' in the New Age of Competitive Friending.

Jinx, you owe me a soda.

Two mics, one Mick, zero talent.

All together now – "We are both the biggest Rock Stars in the world!"

Jagger says to Bono–Oh be quiet or I will put my 40 Licks on you

Riverview, Mi

I have H1N1... pass it on.

Bono and Jagger go out there and 'Just Duet'!

Singing – "All I Want Is You...to admit you're my biggest fan!"

mick yelling..."THERE'S ONLY ROOM FOR ONE ROCKSTAR"
bono also yelling..."THAT'S RIGHT, SO GET OFF THE STAGE"

Mick:Can you hear me!?
Bono:What!?

And tonight opening for Miley Cyrus we have...

Bono: Time. . . is on my side. Yes it is!

Bono and Mick's reaction when told Health Care Public Option might not pass!

Shuffling Jack Flash is a gas gas gas.

Bad Breath- The reason why global warming started.

Bloody sunday!
Let it bleed !

No longer "Waiting on a Friend,"
Bono finally catches up with Mick to sing about the "Angel of Harlem," who some simply know as "Angie."

I can't always get what i want, Bono....
YOU TOO?:)

Nevermind the bollocks, it's the Mick and Bono show!

I can scream anything better than you!

Bono: I have more of my own teeth, yours are dentures!
Jagger: These are NOT dentures, and you wear a hearing aid!

Bono: At least I know how to dress, look at this leather jacket!
Jagger: Please, that jacket is where you hide the words to your songs. Open it so we can see!!!

Finally nice to see people other than politicians screaming.

"Oh yeah, well I already RSVP'd for the Oprah book club event with Anderson!"

Scream Fest 2009

No YOU stepped on MY note.

In theatres this Christmas...Jurrasic Park 4: The Musical.

Bono: "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens..."

Mick: "...those are a few of my favorite things."

Bono and Mick called upon to sing McCartney's "When I'm sixty four" at a recent rock n' roll hall of fame event argue over which tense to sing it in.
Joe Scutella
Nashville TN

In theatres this Christmas...Jurassic Park 4: The Musical.

"I feel like a rolling stone!"....Bono
"Me too...Mick
"You too?

BONO: I've worked hard to improve the lives of women in third world countries.

JAGGER: I've worked hard to sleep with women in all countries!

Jagger: I've caught something because my throat is sore & swollen.

Bono: U2?

"Can you hear me now!!"

Bono....are we really both on stage, or is it "Just My Imagination?

"ENGLAND STINKS!"
"NO! IRELAND STINKS!"
"NO! ENGLAND STINKS!"
"NO! IRELAND STINKS!" ...

"Wild Horses" couldn't keep me off this stage with you Bono!

"No, Mick, it is IIIIII who can't get no satisfaction,"
"Shut up, you twit."

Minnetonka MN

Though ill-advised, Bono and Mick Jagger inspect each other for signs of the H1N1 virus.

Police and law enforcement officers responded to a domestic dispute between a blind man and his elderly wife. Sources say the two were playing a game of "Hide and Seek" when an argument, regarding who tagged "base" first, led to an all-out shouting match. Officials said both parties, accustomed to regular disagreements, regularly carry SR-30 microphones in lieu of replacing costly hearing-aid batteries.

Tonsil check!

Though ill-advised, Bono and Mick Jagger inspect each other for signs of the H1N1 virus.

Dylan, Burlington, VT

"I said, you're off key, Mick!"
"No way."

Minnetonka MN

Jagger your mamas so big she had to buy a supermarket just to feed herself . Bono your mamas so big she has to wear the astroid belt just to keep her pants up .

If we look goofy enough, maybe Anderson Cooper will put us on the Beat 360!

- Juliann Budimir, Los Angeles

"Yeah, well you' ve rolled out all your stones long ago, Mick!"

Minnetonka MN

The makings of H1N1.

This performance is closed-captioned for the hearing impaired
... who got that way watching this performance.

Bono: "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens..."
Mick: "...those are a few of my favorite things."

Closed captioned for the hearing impaired (including Bono and Jagger).

Bono to Jagger: "Say aaaaaaah and spit out the leggy supermodel."

Bono to Jagger: "There's gold in them thar' teeth."

Hey, it worked for the Housewives.

A moment in time, a flash of a tonsil, the end of an eardrum.

You're so vain, I bet you think this song is about you.

... So many potential captions for this picture that it merits its own prime-time daily show on FOX News....

'We sing the songs that come from the very bottom of our lungs.'

Bono and Mick Jagger take a quiet moment to discuss the seriousness of health care reform...

Bono: "I need my hip replaced!"

Mick: "You need your jacket laced?!"

Bono and Jagger reprise Sonny and Cher's "I Got You, Babe".

HOLD ON TO YOUR MIKE...KANYE IS BACKSTAGE.

In a moment of star recognition, Bono and Mick Jagger close eyes to shield themselves from each other's brilliance.

Mick: You're SO Vain....

Bono: I bet you think this song is about you, don't you?!

Bono: I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

Jaggar: You can't always get what you want.

Rock stars team up to demonstrate the harmful effects of sonorous filibustering in the H.F.

One Rock from the Cretaceous, and One Rock from the Jurassic...which do you Dig?

Jagger: R-E-S-P-E-C-T your elders!!
Bono: TIME is on my side!!

Mick: "I close my eyes when I sing."
Bono: "I wear my sunglasses inside."

sheree norwood, ma

Bono & Jagger practice their Synchronize Singing

"Hey Bono can you hook me up with a deal on a new Blackberry ... I wanna start following your tour"

The frontmen of a massive band merger – "U2 and The Strolling Bones" or "U2 Can Have Wrinkles"

Bono and Rolling Stones... This has Freudian slip written all over it.

Bono: I hear you lip sync.

Jagger: You Lie!

Bono...What? It's too loud?
Mick...No; I said get off of my cloud!

I don’t listen to you.. And I don’t listen to you either.. And I can’t believe I lasted this long.. Shut up your face..

Bono: Keith told me that you lip sync.

Jagger: You Lie!!

While singing the ABC's, Bono and Mick Jagger argue over which letter comes after 'G'.

Lax knighting standards have really hurt the quality of modern jousting.

Improvement to previous:

While singing the ABC's, Bono and Mick Jagger argue over which letter comes after seven.

Bono, " I'm a little bit country"
Mick, "I'm a little bit Rock & Roll"

Bono...We are the number 1 rock band of all time now!
Mick....Oh yeah; well your mother wears army boots!

Bono and Mick Jagger sing their rendition of "Unforgettable."

Well Bono yells about 'Bloody SUNDAY', and Jagger screams about 'Ruby TUESDAY', thank goodness it's FRIDAY!

Hey Bono, Did a bug just fly in my mouth?

Things went horribly wrong when Bono pulled Mick's finger on stage.

Mick, it's swine flu, definitely, swine flu.....

Bono found what he's looking for – it's in Mick Jagger's mouth.

-I moved on with my hairstyle years ago. What have you done about that, Mr. Jagger?
- NOTHING!

U2 can get Micked

Mick: I WANT MY AARP MAGAZINE BACK ...
Bono: NOT UNTIL I FINISH THE ARTICLE ON ROCK & ROLL DURING THE PALEOZOIC ERA
Mick: OOOOHH I DIDN'T SEE THAT, AM I MENTIONED?
Bono: YOU'RE THE CENTERFOLD!

It's like the Democratic and Republican spin doctors interpreting elections - working from the same scores, but shouting past one another.

Rodney
Los Angeles, CA

-We both were famous before R&R Hall of Fame was even founded!
-That`s right. I think we should establish our own Hall of Fame!

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW

Your fly is unzipped...What?...Your fly is unzipped?...What?...Your fly is unzipped?...I can't hear you over all this loud music!...What?

my bite is bigger than your bark !

The Republicans wants us to test out the new dental plan. Open wide

im a good american;see congress flow behind yall!!

janiece millon
louisiana

Turn your hearing aid on!! What?? I can't hear you. My hearing aid is broken.

Bono: Is a Beautiful Day, don't let it go away!

Mick: You're not the only one, with mix emotions!

Tallahassee, Florida Brewsters

Mick: "I need to sneeze again..ah-...ahhh-"
Bono: "You said you didn't have swine flu, right??"

Bono "The song is called YOUR BLUE ROOM"

Mick "Paint it black."

This tour has been sponsored by the AARP, Metamucil and the makers of Rascal Scooters.

"You're right Mick...your uvula IS bigger than mine."

5 dollars! 5 dollar foot-long!

What are we arguing about?

"You can't handle the truth!"
" you lie!"

Bono and Mick Jagger doing the Chicken Dance.

Tastes Great!

Less Filling!

-Are you going to watch this Sesame Street Special next week?
-That`s my favourite show! Am I glued to my tv or what?

I don't care how violently they argue, don't call the Police.

I said, Hey! You! Get off of my stage!

If you play the music backwards, it sounds almost as if they're talented.

"I write the songs!"

"No, I write the songs!"

Get a room. A really big, sound-proofed room.

After a rousing chorus of "We are the World", Mick Jagger and Bono turn to each other and finish the concert with a crowd favorite, "Islands in the Stream".

"I'm old but your older".....

These men are professionals. Do not mix this at home.

Cleveland rocks New York?

The King is dead. Long live the jokers.

"It's only social security but I like it."

My band mates are louder than your band mates...
No they are not...

You da man!
No you da man!

Monty Python's Aging Chorus.

Bono to Jagger; " I was awarded Man of Peace..."
Jagger to Bono: " Wow, all I got was Keith Richards..."

The View likes me better Mick!

Your wrong Bono, I've known Barbara since she was in college, the View likes me better!

I'm glad you gargled.

Two rock and roll legends relive the past, by playing PAC-MAN,...... The old fashioned way.

JAGGER: Hey, Bono, get off of my cloud.

BONO: But I still haven't found what I'm looking for.