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June 26th, 2009
12:53 PM ET

Lisa Marie Presley: 'He knew'

Michael Jackson arrives at UCLA Medical Center on Thursday.

Michael Jackson arrives at UCLA Medical Center on Thursday.

Lisa Marie Presley
On Myspace

He knew.

Years ago Michael and I were having a deep conversation about life in general.

I can't recall the exact subject matter but he may have been questioning me about the circumstances of my father's death.

At some point he paused, he stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, "I am afraid that I am going to end up like him, the way he did."

I promptly tried to deter him from the idea, at which point he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded almost matter of fact as if to let me know, he knew what he knew and that was kind of that.

Fourteen years later I am sitting here watching on the news an ambulance leaves the driveway of his home, the big gates, the crowds outside the gates, the coverage, the crowds outside the hospital, the cause of death and what may have led up to it and the memory of this conversation hit me, as did the unstoppable tears.

A predicted ending by him, by loved ones and by me, but what I didn't predict was how much it was going to hurt when it finally happened.

The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his autopsy.

All of my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell and right now I am gutted.

I am going to say now what I have never said before because I want the truth out there for once.

Our relationship was not "a sham" as is being reported in the press. It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people who did not live or know a "normal life" found a connection, perhaps with some suspect timing on his part. Nonetheless, I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much.

I wanted to "save him" I wanted to save him from the inevitable which is what has just happened.

His family and his loved ones also wanted to save him from this as well but didn't know how and this was fourteen years ago. We all worried that this would be the outcome then.

At that time, in trying to save him, I almost lost myself.

He was an incredibly dynamic force and power that was not to be underestimated.

When he used it for something good, It was the best and when he used it for something bad, it was really, REALLY bad.

Mediocrity was not a concept that would even for a second enter Michael Jackson's being or actions.

I became very ill and emotionally/spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior and from the awful vampires and leeches he would always manage to magnetize around him.

I was in over my head while trying.

I had my children to care for, I had to make a decision.

The hardest decision I have ever had to make, which was to walk away and let his fate have him, even though I desperately loved him and tried to stop or reverse it somehow.

After the divorce, I spent a few years obsessing about him and what I could have done different, in regret.

Then I spent some angry years at the whole situation.

At some point, I truly became indifferent, until now.

As I sit here overwhelmed with sadness, reflection and confusion at what was my biggest failure to date, watching on the news almost play by play the exact scenario I saw happen on August 16th, 1977 happening again right now with Michael (a sight I never wanted to see again) just as he predicted, I am truly, truly gutted.

Any ill experience or words I have felt towards him in the past has just died inside of me along with him.

He was an amazing person and I am lucky to have gotten as close to him as I did and to have had the many experiences and years that we had together.

I desperately hope that he can be relieved from his pain, pressure and turmoil now.

He deserves to be free from all of that and I hope he is in a better place or will be.

I also hope that anyone else who feels they have failed to help him can be set free because he hopefully finally is.

The world is in shock but somehow he knew exactly how his fate would be played out some day more than anyone else knew, and he was right.

I really needed to say this right now, thanks for listening.

~LMP


Filed under: 360° Radar • Michael Jackson
soundoff (19 Responses)
  1. Rob

    Thank you LMP for your honest words, and I hope that you and all of us will find peace as well.

    June 26, 2009 at 6:02 pm |
  2. Ellen, Arkansas

    Thank you for your candidness, Lisa. You're a good person and did everything you could for Michael. I hate that it paralleled what happened to your dad and brought back painful memories. Please accept my condolences on the loss of Michael.

    June 26, 2009 at 5:17 pm |
  3. Joe G. (Illinois)

    Nobody ever said “Be evil, foolish and live that way” but some people surely do promote it. You see it all over.. American Style Celebrities that sing, dance and act to abominations.. But they know.. They know it’s wrong and do it anyway.. And when one of them falls flat on their face for even what might only seem an instant.. America is first to outcast them until they get back up on their feet “or so to say.” Anyhow, the show must go on.. But to those who poison brand new spanking innocent hearts with dirty rotten lyrics, singing, dancing, and acting ought not to have it all free.

    June 26, 2009 at 4:32 pm |
  4. robyn caffrey keyser wv 26726

    to whom this may concern ?

    when anyone finds his doctor , there should be ' no questions asked ' to fire that doctor.
    as from what i herd about the 911 call , the caller didnt eaven mentoin mickeal jacksons name, as im so sure if he would of mention the stars name, 911 would be there quicker, as ( and everybody knows ) with all the emergincy calls that 911 gets , they are known to ask for details, ( im sorry but its true )
    just look at it this way , if something happend to the president or his family , would u leave the name of the emergincy out ?

    June 26, 2009 at 4:14 pm |
  5. kim_Georgia

    thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.... My prays and thoughts go out to family and close friends of the Jacksons. My prays and thoughts go out to you LMP. You both have given so much of your lives to the world and it's time people gave back. I hope in the days that lie ahead that people remember Michael Jackson as someone who gave up his life trying to bring happiness and peace to the world.

    June 26, 2009 at 3:47 pm |
  6. Jeanette

    Lisa,
    I'm so sorry for the pain you are feeling now. Please don't blame yourself, you can only change you. Noone can change anyone else unless they are willing to change. That was a very honest and loving post from your heart.

    June 26, 2009 at 3:46 pm |
  7. Christina

    First I want to offer my condolences. Times like these are very hard to get through and regrets make it even more difficult. As much as we sometimes want to help someone or save them, sometimes it just isn't possible. Either we aren't meant to or the individual doesn't want or can't accept our help.

    thank you for sharing your most private and personal thoughts and feelings with us. May God bless and help you through your grief.

    I do hope you are wrong though about people knowing that they are going to die young. I hope it was just a coincidence in Michael's case.

    June 26, 2009 at 3:45 pm |
  8. Angie, Plano TX

    The words you spoke – I could feel them. I am sorry you lost your x-husband – your friend. In my opinion, there's no "normal marriage" or "usual" people. Too some degree, we are all abnormally unusual. But that is just life.

    Although you may have been over you head in helping, I am sure Michael loved having you as his helpmate.

    June 26, 2009 at 3:38 pm |
  9. Robin

    Just teared up reading this ... thanks LMP for sharing

    June 26, 2009 at 3:12 pm |
  10. Carole

    Dear LMP,

    I am truly sorry for your loss.

    I just wanted to tell you that nothing you could have said or done would have made any difference with regards to his death. It's not your fault. Not at all.

    Nothing his family or friends could say or do would make any difference with regards to his death either.

    He was the sort of person, who when he made up his mind that something is going to be well, then nobody can change it.

    I know from firsthand experience what a person like that is like, so I'm speaking from my own experiences with someone else.

    Your words were very eloquent and I couldn't have said it any better.

    My advice to you is remember the good times, look to the future, and look to your children.

    Just know that he is now in a better place.

    June 26, 2009 at 3:04 pm |
  11. KELLY EMBLETON

    LISA:

    MJ will be missed, Words escape me. I don't think its any one else business about your relationship with Michael. You know what the truth is and that's all that matters. You know whats in your heart. Keep it that way. People come into our lives for a reason, l truly believe that. You did not fail him. Have you ever thought that maybe he came into your life to maybe teach you something. What ever it is what ever the reason you both have been blessed for knowing each other. Where is the regret in that?

    **hugz**
    Kelly

    June 26, 2009 at 2:47 pm |
  12. Jennifer Greenhalgh

    I think that was beautiful... very honest and very mature. I empathize with Lisa in so many aspects of her writing- trying to save someone and eventually having to let go. I am truly moved by what has transpired in the last 24 hours- I have begun to see Michael Jackson as a human being, wherein before he never seemed real. And after reading what Lisa wrote, he is very, very real and had pain and sorrow just like all of us. I hope Michael is free now- he deserves to rest and be in peace and be with God. May he someday realize how much he meant to people, he is an inspiration.

    June 26, 2009 at 2:46 pm |
  13. Linda Graham

    Wow, Lisa.... thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings with the world.

    I, for one, have always loved Michael's music and watching him dance– he was INCREDIBLE to see dancing. But for not knowing anything about him as a person, (as he lived his life so privately), I confess I was one of those many who laughed and made fun of him for all the cosmetic surgeries and "liking little boys", etc. I had never realized what a genuinely emotional, sincere and big-hearted person he was, NOR all the difficulties he had faced since childhood... I just didn't know. And for that I feel truly ashamed now for being so judgemental...

    I pray you find peace in the fact that you DID try, with all your heart. It's all you could do. Obviously, his own family couldn't do anything to help him... so THERE'S NO NEED TO FEEL GUILTY. God bless you, Lisa

    ~Linda Graham

    June 26, 2009 at 2:38 pm |
  14. Gee, Lisa Marie, That Was Stunning...

    My Dear Lisa Marie

    By the sheer sincerity and complete honesty of your remebrance, I am more than certain that you did everything anyone who cared about him could have done. Ultimately, Michael's life was his own responsibility. And you could not have put it better, you had other responsibilities as well and most certainly could not have been expected to abandon them in a quest to reach out.

    I sincerely wish you the absolute best and thank you so much for such a heartfelt remembrance. This was just beautiful.

    Raider Jack

    June 26, 2009 at 2:35 pm |
  15. frieda vlet

    I know the marriage was not a sham.Because these were 2 strong people together.They were both brought up in and around money.I belive you Lisa,and I know how hard it is for you right now.When someones dies thats when you know how much you loved the person.How lucky you were to share moments with him,we only dream about!I know you should have listened to your heart and not people.I know if Lisa was still in his life he was gonna be alive today

    June 26, 2009 at 2:23 pm |
  16. popz

    thank you Lisa. Michael will live in our heart for the rest of our lives. may he rest in peace.

    June 26, 2009 at 2:18 pm |
  17. Isabel, Brazil

    Beautiful text! And very moving.

    The conversations of daily life of a couple, are often saved and see the surface as a light breeze.

    Very moving text!

    June 26, 2009 at 2:07 pm |
  18. Cindy

    Thanks for posting this! I think people need to see that Michael was just a person with many flaws just like everyone else.

    I think people do sometimes have a sense of when they are going to die. Its sad to hear that he thought this would happen and it did and no one could stop it.

    And thanks to Lisa for sharing this with us all!!

    Cindy...Ga.

    June 26, 2009 at 2:05 pm |
  19. Sue

    Wow, thank you for sharing your candid thoughts and experiences with Michael Jackson. I too, hope that he has found a peace that he never seemed to be able to find while here on earth. I hope you find that same peace, on earth, and understand that you did what you could do...

    June 26, 2009 at 2:04 pm |