Brilliant, funny and insightful as usual. You're a delight...thank you.

"Come and Get It, Tiffani Amber-Thiessen"?? LMAO
Jack, you never EVER fail to make me laugh out loud! Good thing no one else is in the room! (except for my dog, but I'm used to her funny looks)
Thank you for making my day.

Karen

Hi Jack

Great post Your crusing around in a 1987 Chev like a rock ! It's doesn't matter if it was rusted it was a symbloic gift from your grandfather that's special . I shutter to think what he thinks now of what went on in that car .The tales of sowing your wild oates reminds me of the song by Billy Joel keeping the faith .I think your bumper sticker should have read don't come kncking whern you see this car a rockin' . Yeah i love the policy of Anderson 's bumper sticker Tiffani-Amber Thiessen reference ,just ride the the subeway now Jack stay green and don't pollute the air too much with Sammy in the paasengeer side smoking her menthols !

Thanks Jack for your humour
Michelle D.

Don't worry. You can still pick up the elderly, even lacking a beat-up old car. Just put on your suspenders and cruise the senior center, complimenting the ladies on their lovely blue hair.

It's how I spend MY weekends.

Jack,
You are too funny! Your Celeb reminds me of a car that my dad had for a while! He owned several car lots and someone traded in this old Nova and it was puke green..no kidding. Well you didn't need a key to start it so ..UMM..well you know what that meant! LOL Yeah..we kinda took her for a few..OK..A LOT of joy rides when my dad wasn't around or when he was asleep! We called it the Novacaine. And I was SO embarrassed to be seen in it. So much so that when a car would come by I would duck down..OK..when not driving of course! LOL

Man..the fun we had in that car. OK..we did have some bad times like when our friend puked in the back floorboard and we made him clean it up. The nut barely got it up and then put baby powder all over it! Then wouldn't you know it my dad decided to take it to work that day to work on it! Needless to say when he opened the car up it wasn't smelling too swift after sitting in the hot sun part of the day! LOL

But my first car I have to say was the bomb! My dad got me a 68 Camaro and redid it. It was candy apple red and was smokin! O..and by the way it was a convertible. I actually still have it! OK...I gave it back to my dad when I got a new car. But we still own it. And NO..I definitely wouldn't give it to the government for $4500. Are they crazy!?

Cindy..Ga.

oh gosh, in my view, your best yet. thankyou, thankyou. i can now get on with my wet wednesday.
"the brakes – unless I needed to stop – worked great."
its gonna tickle me all day.
keep it coming, you seem to be on a roll.
btw. how did non-date go last night?
shelly

Celebrity Jack!
I was readiing your blog and chuckling, then I got to the part where you accepted the blue celebrity like you did puberty and I peed the floor. Just like that lady in the Total Eclipse video.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok. I had to get that one out. Whew!
My first car was , (geez this is embarrassing) an Emerald GREEN GREMLIN given to me by my aunt. I too accepted the car like puberty only I didn't have the shame part.
I am on the short side so I felt like I was from munchkin land. . . Looked like it too.
I didn't have any trouble picking up men or women either. I just wore my bell bottoms and halter top with my John Lennon glasses with green lens. The green lens matched the cool car. The free Boonesfarm wine I offered was also a magnet.
Splash on a little Jungle Gardenia and I was rockin with Bob Barker.
Nevermind~
I finally got rid of my Gremlin when someoone hit me from behind. I didn't know the back of the Gremlin could get flatter, but it did.
Thanks for the stroll down memory lane. What was YOUR first concert?
Thanks for the belt out this morning. It was worth the clean up!
XO's and Tail Wags!
@BettyAnnTX

I had a 1980s model Celebrity during high school. It had an AM only radio, no cassette player; needless to say I learned the words to a lot of oldies.

My first experience with a "borrowed" parent car was "Vinny the Vega"..ok, I am dating myself...nothing beat cheap gas and the open road (in N.J. neither are the case these days). Thanks for the nostalgia trip! LOVE YOUR BLOG!

My first car was also an '87 Chevy Celebrity! AND it was powder blue - was that the standard color or something? The only difference is that my bumper sticker would have referenced Mario Lopez...sigh. Very funny piece. It brought back a ton of great memories, most of which involve Ini Kamoze.

In 1977 my boyfriend had a '86 Galaxy. I married that boyfriend and we're still together many, many cars later. Funny how the older you get, the better the memories are!

Hi jack
Iam from the old schooland had the best times of my life in my old toyota clinger. Thanks for the heartfelt laugh

Telling my age now- the fella I had in HS sported a 1956 RED n White Chevrolet Bel Air-and we were the coolest couple at the Drive in munching on the buttered Pop Corn. Today we have an all original 1956 Ford Fairlane 500- so I switched from a Chevrolet to a good ole Ford man. We still go parkin!

Brilliant Jack. Thanks for this piece.

Yay for the return of Jack's Blogs!

My first car was a '96 used green Honda Civic. My dad drove up on my 16th birthday honking in it with a big purple bow on it. To make it even better it was a manual, and I love driving manuals. I loved that car and it was in great condition, that is until I was rearended by some girl then backed out of my parent's garage with my car door open (nearly ripping the door off) a few weeks later. My dad proceeded to spend the money that was supposed to pay for my bumper and I had no money as a 16 year old with no job to get the bumper or the door fixed. That's when my car became known as "Duckey," due to the Duck tape that held the bumper and door together...But like I said I loved that car, would still be driving it today if a drunk driver (who wans't charged for his crime since the cops didn't give him a breathalizer...yes I'm till bitter about it) hadn't hit me on I-40. In fact, I got another Honda Civic to replace it, yes it's newer and yes it's a bit more shiny, but my first car love will always be my '96 Green Honda Civic.

We still continue to drive around in a robins egg blue '68 Ford Falcon. There's something strangely adventurous about driving around in a car that may not brake at exactly the point you want it to. Not to mention the fact that in some of the dodgy neighborhoods there seems to be a greater appreciation for an old classic car. We could practically run for Mayor in Oakland, with the Falcon as our only platform, and win. That's a great piece you've written there. Oh, our other car is a Prius.

Funny as usual! I'm all about being environmentally friendly and therefore, a strong supporter of public transportation Don't get me wrong, I greatly enjoy the independence of being behind the wheel, but this is only for long exciting trips in attempt to escape the mundane. For everyday use, though, (going to work for example) I insist on using public transportation. The "interesting" people I meet while waiting at the stop or in the bus definitely make the experience worth it! I am saner than some out there :)

Fabulous as always, Jack!

My first car was a Gold Ford Fiesta that had seen the world. A crinkle on the front head light was fixed with Bondo in Mexico while we were out shopping – and they did a great job! I drove her through high school and college. She died right after college. I guess she just saw too much

The first car I drove was my now-husbands old 1970-something Ford Maverick. Ugly as hell, mostly green, but had grey primer on some parts and a black hood. He put huge tires on the back, and it had a hood scoop that covered a 351 Windsor engine that replaced the original engine. The trunk had a spoiler running across it. He changed the cam shaft so when the car idled, it vibrated so bad, who needed sex? The steering wheel looked like a chain link wheel. What I loved about this car was the speed. There I was an innocent looking young girl driving this ugly beast sitting at the lights next to a 1960 something beautifully taken care of orange and blank Barracuda while the driver and his passenger glanced over at me and burst out laughing. But they were left in my dust when the lights turned green and I hit the gas. Looks are deceiving. The ugly ones on the outside are hidden with beauty on the inside. We had to give the car up as our family grew. Three children no longer fit in their car seats in the back. I'm older now and drive an SUV. Funny thing is though: I have yet to actually have *my* car. Not a single car has been registered and insured in *my* name......

I had a Gray Buick Skylark back in the day. It was awful, and it was great. Thanks for bringing back all those memories Jack.

Jennifer Kimbrough, your boyfriend had a car from the future?? No wonder you married him!

I coasted around in a beat up Chrysler mini van. Priceless.

Love your blog as always!

My first car was an 1989 rotten green Volkswagen Gol (which is the poorest cousing of the Golf). Boy, did I love that piece of gasoline-smelling scrap!

By the way (and by that I mean I am completly changing the subject), I am also a journalist and sometimes when I get stuck o my writing I come to you blog. Thanks for that.

All the best from Brazil,

Tiago.

Jack! Oh Jack!! Sigh!!! I have been waiting with bated breath since the Larry King blog... I waited and waited. Waiting on you is like waiting for a bus. But me likey!

Hi Jack,

Today's blog reminded me of my own grandfather's "car gift" to me as well. I don't even know what it was, I just know that my 5"1' frame found the car huge and I began calling it The Tank. My grandfather gave me this car hoping it would keep me safer then "those little cars your parents drive"! And I too accepted it with all graciousness and a quiet and horrifying dose of Sweet. Mother. of. God.!

The Tank and I parted ways when I was left alone at home while the rest of my family vacationed in Lake George for a long weekend. Driving down the boulevard I heard a definite clunk and then dragging metal. The entire muffler system was hanging off the car. After that, all sense of trust between The Tank & myself was gone. And that was that.

Awesome blog as usual, happy you brought my grandfather into the forefront of my thoughts today!

@KimberWitch

Ahhh, this brings back memories of my '89 Pontiac Sunbird. Not nearly as majestic as it sounds as illustrated in it's affectionate nickname 'the Peach Pit". Thanks for a good laugh and a trip down memory lane (at about 42 MPH, the Pit's top speed on a good day!)

I turned 16 in 1968. My father owned a used car lot and let me have my pick of the lot. I chose what I thought was a gorgeous red 1959 Chevy, fins and all. It was a boat and the worst car on the lot, according to my father. It had so many cool features, all the radio buttons went to the cool stations ( I was unaware that this could be changed). It had a chrome gear shift knob and a hooga horn. It was just the coolest and it lasted a whole 6 months before my father took it away when he found evidence that my friends and I were drinking beers. He found the plastic rings that, at that time only came on 6 packs of beer. Busted! He gave the car to his mechanic and I was told that the following Sunday while his family was on their way to church, the floorboard gave way and they ended up sitting on the road. I guess Daddy was right!

My 1st car was grandma's faded red 8-cylinder '66 Oldsmobile Cutlass, in which I was brought home from hospital. My friends loved the Red Bomb basically because they all fit in it. I even took my drivers' test in it - in 1984. I parallel parked that tank perfectly. A bunch of teens from another high school had borrowed a Chevette for their test. Every one of them failed. That was one my Dad's proudest moments.

I drove a 1995 Isuzu Rodeo. A standard silver exterior with gray interior, the Ro-Day-Oh, was the rough-and-ready SUV any high school kid wanted. I should say that I totalled the 1995 Ford Taurus that was my first car by rear-ending my friend. A move that even today baffles both her and myself.

The Rodeo didn't have working A/C, most of the windows didn't roll up; they sure did roll down though. The back passenger door had no cover and the window was held up with a wooden wedge. Oh yes, it had seen better days, but I wouldn't have traded that Rodeo for anything. Not that any dealership in their right mind would have given me anything for it.

Thanks for the trip down Memory Lane!

Love your work, Jack!
My first vehicle was a canary yellow, '77 Toyota Celica (which my parents bought new in '77 and gave to me as a graduation present in '86). Four months after they gave it to me, we replaced the transmission. Four months after that, we replaced the engine. Once all that was taken care of, it ran pretty well (when I kept up with the oil changes). I finally gave it up in '91. Great car... Lots of things lost & gained in that car...

Funny stuff. Your grandpa had to love you a lot to give his car to you. So really, were you the favorite?

I don't remember the cars my friends drove, just that we had so much fun together. My first car was a Nissan Sentra coupe, brand new, fully loaded, and totally paid. It was metallic blue with a tan interior (how 1986 of me). I wrecked it two months later, and that was the end of that. Return to the friends had cars and we had so much fun statement...

Wow. This is great and not just because my grandfather also gave me a station wagon when I was in high school. A Plymouth.

Aww good memories, my first car was a 1983 Ford Escort hatchback. It had a pushbutton radio, standard shift and no power steering! You needed to work out at the gyn to parallel park that car, you would have to stop and take a break it was so hard, I would pre plan which parking lots I would use to avoid steering too much!

I grew up in Montreal so it had this charming license plate rusted on the front of it too, J' <3 les Canadiens! Good Times!

Jack,,,, it is amazing the volumes of 'stuff' inside of you. Basking in your overflow,,,,,, is HILARIOUS!

Too funny...and my old clunker back in the "70's was a 1949 Chevy 'fastback' w/ fender skirts and a hurst shifter on the floor. Loved your pc.
Don

Ah, tripping down memory lane time ....

Jack, we had the same type of car – blue with rust! Those were great times my university driving years.... black oil fumes, balding tires, scrapping ice off the windscreens, rolling the car down the hill to get the motor started..., many a times I would happily chauffeur my friends around, & they being considerate individuals would usually allow me to drive in peace & quiet, no meaningless distracting little chit chat during my drives... thank you very much.... well, I guess holding onto the passenger door, took up most of their concentration the whole ride..... funny that....you'd think most people back then also knew how to multi-task too...

Well, now I am car-less too.... but I like to think healthier (apart from that age thing ...) thanks to that little morning jog... to join the masses on public transportation....

That was great Jack.
Had so much fun readin thru.even tho i've never owened a car before...d first car i drove alone was a BMW 3series...d oldest version u can think of...black with red leather seats&no air conditioning...i had a flaming hot driving experience.am sure i lost some weight cos i was sweating out of fear&d heat made matters worse.i got home looking like it rained...

Jack, Oh my goodness...you've brought up many memories of my first car...A Red Buick Lesabre...it was born the same year I was and they called it a boat...but I think my dad's boat was smaller. Good times good times! I loved pulling into the high school parking lot and just praying that somewhere there were two spots open next to eachother so I didn't have to worry about hitting the car next to me when I parked it. Man...I don't miss that thing a bit! The car I drive now, actually not a car but an SUV...is much more of a gas guzzler than that old piece was!

My first car was an ugly brown 1986 Toyota Camry. Only 3 years younger than my 16 year old self. But considering the car I've had since then (may it RIP) it's actually the best car I've owned. All power windows (that worked!) and locks, working AC, working sun roof, working radio and tape player. Are we seeing a theme? The brakes even worked.

Haha! Cars like that build character and make for future blog writing material.

My older sister received a similar gift from our grandfather. Her station wagon had the distintion of being a "company" car. The company being a pet store. On one door was painted a large pink poodle and on the other a big green fish!

I totally crached up reading all of this and allowing myself to go back to those formidable high school years. My first car as a 77 Pontiac Firebird. I remember my mom and I driving down the street in her Olsmobile Delta 88 and seeing this shiny white Firebird with a grey bottom on it and I knew that HAD to be my first car. I opened the door of the car, and immediately noticed the amazing white interior and the black dash and NEW black carpet.
Mom bought the car for me right away...and within minutes, I was crusing down Airline drive, listening to the half blown speakers, and wondering what that noise was I heard coming from under the car.
Now that I had the car a little while and had a little more time to examine her, I now know why that nice new carpet was in there. It was there to hide the fact that most of the floor-board was rusted away...and also did I mention that the driver seat was not bolted in so if you hit the gas a little too hard, your flew into the back seat.
Yea, through all of the bondo my brother used to patch up all of my 'accidents' that were NEVER my fault, and all of the black electricians tape used as pinstriping, I certainly loved that car.
There was nothing like crusing down the road, hitting something and realizing your muffler is laying in the street behind you...but hey...it was my first car, my pride and joy, and once again. MOM made me happy because she was the one to give it to me.

My first car was a pretty blue PINTO with a white interior. It had a grapefruit sized hole in the back seat floorboard which gave me the added benefit of being able to die in flood water OR get blown up from the notorious "don't get hit from behind or you'll die" Pinto trouble.

Hi Jack. In H.S., my older sister and i were always keenly aware whose turn it was to drive the old creampuff or the exciting black mustang convertible. The creampuff was better if you had a wagon full of people going to a concert or party. However, there's nothing like driving home under starry skies, after a beach picnic and ocean swim on the East end, as you head towards the L.I. Expressway. Your old wagon sounded like a creampuff, too. It still got you places, right?

Technically, my first car was an '86 Chevy Celebrity sedan. It didn't last long..just long enough to have the windows tinted in an attempt to my Celebrity look like a star. (I then rolled it coming home from work one day)
My next car is the one my friends remember. An '88 Ford Tempo..which, usually filled with all girls, somehow got christened the Tampon. That car went 150000 kms on 3 oil changes (I shudder to think of that now..), took me to my first drive in with a boy and did more backroad tours than I can remember. It was a sad day when I finally had to remove the roll of toilet paper from the back window..(placed there for convenience on all the backroad trips.)

Great article Jack! Nothing like nostalgia huh? Yeah, I remember my first car, a 1983 black Cordova with red interior....awe, the memories!

My first car, a turquoise 1966 oldsmobile. I was born in 1966 so I always wondered if there was some correlation with me aquiring this as my first vehicle and the year it was made as well as the year I was born. My parents never answered that for me.....

I learned how to fix the starter, how to adapt to am radio only and how hot the seats got in the summer. It was the car that I skipped school the 1 day in my life, that my dad left for work late and I happened to drive down our street as he was pulling out. There was no denying it, as there was no other turquoise 66 olds in the neighborhood for it to be a coincidence. The sunburn I had that afternoon didn't help matters when I was supposed to be in school all day.

Wonderful memories of the car but then I graduated to a 1976 station wagon. Life was good.

Hilarious!! You make me laugh everyday. Thanks for that. In 1980, my first car was a 1967 Toyota Corona in mint condition. I promptly named it Ralphie. Long story for another time. My parents bought it from a man down the street that loved that car in more ways than I want to know about. Bleeechhk..me throwing up. My dad, not the best mechanic, taught me NOTHING about how to take care of it. So I drove it right into the ground. Sad, cuz I loved that car. I'm sure the neighbor had more to say than just Bleeechhk when he saw it get towed off, never to return.

My first cars (I got three within a year) – I got to drive my dad's 1981 Mercury Capri (I was excited because he'd had the car since I was 1 and it looked kind of like a mustang). But since the engine blew up in that just months before I turned 16, I had to drive the family's 1983 Chevy Malibu station wagon until my dad could rebuild the engine... good times. After the Mercury was fixed, I drove it for about 6 months till the engine overheated and blew up again, then I bought my own car – a 1989 Oldsmobile Cutlass Calais.

Oh, Jack! You don’t need a car to be sexy! Your brilliance and sense of humor make you sexy! Ha! Everything you write is great stuff!

Like im going to trade my 81 Covette with 32,000 miles ,smells show room new, gets 10 miles to the gallon city. For a $4500.00 coupon towards a new car. Does Obama know what a chick Magnet is worth these days.

What can I say Jack. I can always count on you to make me laugh.

Usually your posts are off the wall "huh?" pullers — such as your Tony Award blog and unforgiving obsession with Larry King's suspenders — but this one I greatly applaud.

It was witty, funny and included information that I found useful. It's also nice to know where else I can go for unsolicited lap dances. I thought Washington DC was the only place offering them.

AC360 never ceases to amaze me, especially with people on staff like you Jack.

Thanks for the nostalgia, Jack! My first car was an 86 Skylark Sedan, which the rest of the guys on the football team just called "the Buick." But I could haul 3 linemen in the back seat, and one more in the front passenger seat, so they didn't knock it too much.

Funny,My first car was a 76 Nova with a sun-roof...and NO sterio but my friends and I thought it was the BEST vehicle out there!! thank y ou for always making me smile with your blogs. Keep up the great work!

Hi Jack, well-written and entertaining blog! I also don't own a car. Don't mind the minor inconvenience, since I have more pocket money!

Hilarious blog (as always)! Thanks for the laugh.
My first car was an acura integra with a manual transmission that I had for two glorious, but embarassing weeks. I could not drive a stick shift but would take it out anyway. My friends would duck when we sat at a light as it would take me at least three light changes to get through it. As a public service, my parents made me sell the car and buy an automatic. Ironically, I figured out the clutch the day the new owner came to get it. And yes, everyone I knew tried to teach me how to drive it – I just couldn't get the hang of it.

Yes, if those old dashboards could talk. I think we all have a soft spot in our hearts for that first car of ours. They usually were, unless you one was born with a silver spoon in their mouth, an affordable good running wreck with some character. My first was a 1964 pale yellow 2 door Chevy Nova, which survived many of my younger days and wilder ways moments, too many to mention here. Back in those days I was awakened one morning by a thumping sound outside my house, only to find the Nova in the process of being stolen. I ran out ranting at the top of my lungs as they ran away like the thieves in the night that they were. The car was 2 houses down in the middle of the street with the ignition wires cut and hanging . I drove that car starting it by touching 2 wires together for months, kids my age had better things to do then to take time to fix something. The little Chevy Nova was even then a collectible vehicle it looked new and ran great. Soon after the almost stolen car caper was but a spitting memory it got me down to Palm Springs then up to San Jose 500 miles away with my dog Reddy in the seat next to me and everything I owned in the back. I sold it in '72 for a '64 VW bug that I drove into it's grave, twice lol. Later I drove an exquisite '64 bright red Buick Skylark convertible, and cherry it was. The Buick would later exit my life through a most painful experience, but I am here to talk about my first car not the one that got away... sigh. Thanks for the usual much anticipated and appreciated laugh this morning jack! You are a one of a kind writer with a humor hard to match by the likes of anyone that I know of, can't wait for your next article, I'm laughing already!

julesgregory

any car would have been great for me, all I had was the big yellow bus.
My first real car was after I got married in 1968, a 1967 Pontiac GTO..what a ride..but it would soon fall to a 1968 bright yellow Vette, which was awesome, unfortunately, it was more than our $125 rent per month, so my new husband took it one day and traded for something we could afford....a 1968 blue volkswagen bug...what a letdown...I had my first real love affair with a car..the vette..since then I have owned 12 of them and right now have two sitting in my garage....revenge is sweet.....

Another reminder of why I love Jack Gray so much – VERY funny!

just about to get my license (16 is the age here in Michigan) just gotta take the ol' road test.... but looks like MY first car is gonna be a red VW golf.... i can't wait to practice driving a stick with my terrified mother in the front seat... on second thought, maybe i'll have my brother teach me – he doesn't usually scream when i forget there's a stop sign 10 feet in front of us. =D

but seriously, that article really hit home for me – 16 and this close to being free as a bird. oh, and i really DON'T suck at driving like i said above; don't want to scare anyone =]

My parents didn't buy me a car,so I had to save up for one. I worked at the post office (sorting mail) and when I moved to America (Los Angeles) I wanted to buy a real American car. I ended up with a white 10 year old Ford Thunderbird. Huge cushy seats, huge steering wheel, a barely working radio and automatic windows. I was so proud, though I realized quickly that the "Thunder" part was a lie! The car went from 0 to 60 in 20 minutes flat, so I had to lead-foot it through town. I got honked at quite a bit, but hey, I was driving a huge American oldie. The love affair lasted exactly one year. Then parts started to fall out of the car while I was driving. My Dad got worried about my safety and gave me money to buy a newer,better, and "please make it a Japanese " car.
On the way to the dealer my Thunderbird broke down twice! It re-started though, and I made it onto the lot with its last breath!

I now live happily in New York City where, thankfully, I don't need a car to get from A to B.

Hi, Jacky! Good afternoon!

I agree with the first comment: "You're a delight."

My first car was bought with my money. My parents didn't give me life soft this sense. So my car came later. I was over 25 and was a silver Peugeot 207, charming and beautiful!

I was looking on google what the 1987 Chevrolet Celebrity station wagon. Cars Brazilians tend more to European models, are different from American cars.

But the thrill of the first car is equal anywhere in the world! It is a feeling of freedom!

Thanks!!! Your article is simply sensational!

Sounds to me like that car of yours was instrumental in the coming of age of some of your closest friends.An induction to 'semi-adulthood'.I'm sure you are not the only one in your group to get all nostalgic when you think about the times that were had in that car..I recently took that wistful walk down memory lane with an old,old friend about my 1974 Dodge Dart.....Ah, the memories..Thanks for the smiles Jack..: )

Jack another great blog. I'm sure as a teen you were listening to Billy Squiar as loud as your Celeb would allow! You were quite the chick magnet in your Celeb wearing parachutte pants with your pink Izod shirt and penny loafers! keep up the great blogs

That is hysterical. (for me.. it was a 1976 BLAZE ORANGE Suburban). Nothing says "blend in" like that vee-HICk-le.

My First car was A 1978 Brown Ford Granada With A Vynyl Beigh Top... It cost me 100 Dollars.. =)

My first car was a festiva. it took a 20 / 20 mix. 20 litres of gas and 20 litres of oil

My 1st car was a 77 black on black camero i loved that damn car i'm from detroit and i love my V-8's. I wish I still had her of course V-* will soon be outlawed and rightfully so damn gas guzzlers......

oH this is just wonderfully funny. i miss my first. lol.

Jack,
Too funny. Ok I'm aging myself here...but my first car was what we called the "pudgette." Looked sorta square, with maybe half of it not quite there. Was a Rambler American convertible. Don't know if it was a "gas guzzler" as I think gas was only $..50/gallon, so in those days, who cared? It was a unique vehicle..did fine in the North Eastern winters, but had trouble w/rain. Had to keep wires sprayed w/silicone spray lubricant to keep car going...but it was all mine!

This is too funny! Your blogs great! My first ..in 1996...car was a 1979 Chevy Malibu station wagon. It was baby blue, with a white driver's side fender and a brown driver's side door! It was hiddeous, the only windows that opened were the front two and the radio barely came through on certain days. But it got me from point A to point B. I haven't thought of that old beater since. Thanks Jack!!!

My first car was a 1961 Buick LeSabre. I thought I was a nerd in this car back in 1973, but as it turned out everyone wanted to ride with me. The back seat easily held 6 girls and overnight bags. As my brother and I drove to and from school we handled the lack of heat and air conditioning well. Duck tape held the windows up during cold weather and a beach towel covered the holes in the seat. Good times and great memories.

1st car interesting story. Did you know the Boston Post Office sells their old used mail jeeps. Insisting that i pay for it myself. I bought a used forest green Mail jeep with no radio , little to no heat, one seat on the wrong side of the car. But as ingenious HS students we were repainted the inside strapped 2 lounge chairs to the back floor and bolted a boombox to the tray where the mail usually sits. At first you had to start it witha screwdriver to the battery before i could get it fixed. Do you know you can pack 8 kids into a mail jeep. Not bad investment sold it for $900 before went i to college.

OLD YUGO!

Ahh my first car, a '92 Aerostar. The only thing that was wrong with that car was the gas mileage and the lack of a working driver side window- but many, many good times in that car!

"...by taking mass transit I’m doing my part to help the environment, even if on most days the experience ranks right below having my hair set on fire."

Thanks for the above – a real laugh out loud moment. My first car was a cream color 1961 Renault Dauphine – loved the shift and the bucket seats!

The first car! I could practically hear Barbara Streisand's "Memories" as I read this.

I got my first car at age 18. A used Hyundai. A purple Hyundai. It was a combination birthday, graduation, thank-you-for-getting-a-scholarship-so-we-don't-have-to-pay-for-college present from my parents. And I loved it.

Unfortunately, my little car was not destined for an easy life. One day in college I was working at my retail job when the sky turned black and hail the likes I had never seen and have yet to see again started pounding the parking lot. A few minutes later, the sound of a "train" sent employees and customers alike cowering in the stockroom while we listened to the sound of the world ending outside.

I would later learn it was not a tornado, but its distant cousin: a downburst. Of course, not knowing this at the time, I completely freaked out when I couldn't get a call through to my family. I then sped home through the debris, and it wasn't until I ensured that my family was okay that I finally realized that my little car's back windshield was gone. In fact, I had been sitting on glass the whole ride home.

The light of the morning would reveal that my car was completely covered in softball sized (and one curious watermelon sized) dents. Essentially, I was now the proud owner of a purple golf ball on wheels. But it ran. And being rather frugal, I saw no reason that it needed to die, so I fixed the windshield and bought it back from my insurance company after they totaled it out.

For the next couple of years, I endured some mocking, but my little car served me well. Then one night it finally succumbed to the junk yard in the sky when a truck failed to yield and sent me to the emergency room. It's hard to say goodbye to your first car. It's harder if you picked that car out with your father who had since passed away. My "first car" experience is probably a bit out of the norm, but I'll always remember it. Especially when I see hail. Or golf balls.

Thanks for the funny (and the memories), Jack.

My first car was purchased with my money in 1978 when I was 17. It was a 1973 VW Super Beetle – though to this day I don't know what distinguished a regular Beetle from a super one. It was in great condition and purchased from family friends who were moving from the west coast to New Jersey. It was definitely much better than driving around in my mom's Plymouth Valiant! I had the car for about 6 years and it served me well. It did, however, have a habit of not starting after a rain storm if the distributor got wet. I would then take to covering the engine with a plastic bag on the inside and once when I forgot it was there had the distinct pleasure of having the bag sucked into the engine and causing a whole lot of other issues!

My first car, although ugly, carried some of my most favorite teenage memories.

$800.00 cash and paid for with my income tax refund check made me the proud owner or a 1980 Ford Fiesta in a less than fashionable beige. It was a stick shift and I learned to drive it around and around my apartment complex. Good Times.

It broke down routinely on my daily drive to my college classes, a more than generous ex-boyfriend would come put it back together for a few more miles. It was loyal however, and it didn't give up until the week after I graduated college. It took it's final breath about a mile from the dealership. Thanks old boy...I really appreciated you.

Today I am insistent that when my son is old enough, he will help pay for his first car. A safe but used model, preferably a stick shift where he can make his mistakes and his own memories.

my first car was my Dad's old work car. A green 1950 studebaker. It burnt so much oil that my friends and I would pull into the filling station and tell the attendant "check the gas and fill the oil"!! It was that bad. This was in the day when the attendents would clean the windshields, check the tires if you asked and gas was 59cents a gallon. Oh for the days...........

Awww, I thought I felt sorry for myself until reading this. I'm NOT alone!!! I'm currently with my first love...her name is Agnes (because she's old and definately moody!). She's a 1990 Oldsmobile Cutless Calais. =0(

I never forget my first car. My daddy bought it cheap. It was a fine 81 cutlass supreme. I think that was an olesmobile. It was the best traveling car, very comfortable. My brother rode back with me from Vicksburg where we bought it. Yep, I always miss my old rides. I don't think I'll miss the one I have now.

First car, in high school-1968 (I'm guessing) Chevy Impala. Big as a city block and built like a tank. It was the OLD family car-I had a hole in the water reserve (that refused to be patched) that fed the radiator. Every time I stopped, billows of steam would come out from under the hood-boy, could I clear a parking lot! I kept a 10 gallon container of water in the back seat and would refill when things cooled down. I had holes in the side that had rusted through-one of my cats found her way through and had her kittens in the back seat. As I was driving in to high school, I heard the soft cries of the kittens-stopped, found them, and returned them home to the mother cat. The front seat was broken-it was jammed into place to fit my dad's legs with an old coke bottle. He was 5-11. I'm 5-2-I learned to drive with my big toe on the gas pedal and still drive pretty far back from the dash. On the plus side, I never locked the car-no one in my small town would have taken it. But I've never loved a car as much as that one.

First car was a '72 Dart bought used from Countryside Dodge outside of Chicago. Watched the NBC national news last night and they did a stand up from Countryside Dodge which closed yesterday. How sad.

My first car was also blue and a wagon. It didn't have reverse so I would have to stick my foot out the door and push it backwards Fred Flintstone style.
No virginities were lost in this one. That ship had sailed.

First car was a Renault Dauphine (mid 60's model) – goat vomit green with red interior – amazing that I ever got anyone to ride in it it would do zero to sixty in -well it took a while but the gas mileage was great! Bought it from my uncle for $100 – but it was wheels and represented freedom!

A rickety red Volkswagon, for which I paid $200 It was "old" at the time, during the early nineteen eighties. At some point I got stopped for having a bad or absent muffler. Ruined it on a snowy Minnesota freeway by doing a a couple 360s (pun intended) that were halted by a large concrete structure.

My first car was a 1990 Ford Tempo. It was white and, quite appropriately, nicknamed, "Squeaker." Everything make noise – the locks, the heat (but only if turned on high), some parts under the hood that I simply cannot name. It would often stall and could only be revived with a swift hit of a rubber mallet on the space behind the steering wheel. I will never forget the time I was "cruising" on campus with friends, and having a great time...until I saw the smoke. At the end of that fiasco, I had to buy a replacement set of hubcaps off Ebay, since the original ones had melted right off.

I think you sum up public transportation perfectly, and quite hilariously I might add.

I had (and still have) my grandfathers 1998 Nissan Sentra. Though he drove it a few years longer than he should have (as evidenced by the large dent/scrape that spanned all of the panels on the right side) it has been the best car I could have asked for. It's gone through a lot these past few years – my senior year of college it was stolen. Most wouldn't cry over the loss of a 10 year old car but it had sentimental value. Somehow, I managed to luck out – the criminals parked it too long in a 2 hr parking zone and I got it back!

Well, there was something in the name, the auto celebrity is gone now and you're the celebrity. Keeping many of us informed with news with a humourous twist. Thanks Jack. Dude, you always bring about a smile, smirk or laugh.

Thanks for bringing back memories of my 1985 metallic baby blue Plymouth Horizon....pronounce dramatically "WHORE-EYES-ON!" Not a sexy car, though plenty of sex was had in it; and she handled so well in snow and ice. Alas, after 11 years and over 185,000 miles her transmission gave out one Saturday morning on the way to work, coasted into a parking lot from which she was taken away for scrap.

Amazing! I checked my Virginia DMV records this morning, and they still have the car registered to me, though I submitted disposal affidavits twice!

I had a sparkly lime green VW Rabbit. It was zippy and cute and when you lifted the hood you could actually find the engine parts! You had to use your muscles to roll down the windows....and if you're driving you could only roll down the drivers window (unless you had passengers). That car had been rear ended more times than I could remember, but it never showed–those Germans sure can make a solid car. It was the perfect 1st car!

You think that was embarrassing?

In 2006 (a decade after you were driving a car well past it's expiration date) I was gifted, as a 16 year old, with a wood panneled Buick station wagon which unfortunately has yet to clunk itself out of service. Luckily after I graduated high school it became the extra trip-to-the-dump vehicle and I am on to a smaller and better (and greener) car.

Maybe I will cash in on that new legislation and say goodbye forever to "the bullet" (which is what MY friends so affectionately named my car.)

My first car was a 1966 used VW Bug. I thought it was the coolest thing because now I can attached surf racks and surfboard to go surfing.
It gave me new sense of freedom for a seventeen-year-old, and boy did I cherish the first time experience of owning a car!

A 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88. A land yacht with room to sleep 3 (the short dude got the trunk). Like many others, a hand-me-down gift from Dad for my 16th birthday–in 1978. I drove it for 9 years and foolishly traded it in for a Hyundai that only lasted 4 years.

Oddly, my beloved '95 Lexus ES with 140K was totaled recently by a big pickup that failed to yield the right-of-way. The next morning, my parents offered Mom's '03 Audi A6 Avant station wagon. Having just completed a road trip from ATL to PBI, it's a cool drive, but I still get the heebie-jeebies from driving a parental cast-off.

Hmm, BTW, my first concert was David Cassidy. Dad wrangled me front row tickets!

Thank you for starting your blogs again. They are the humorous highlight of my day. Great writing style.

Jack, you've got nothing on my first car. She was a 1991 Honda Civic, red with a black hood. My brothers and I christened her Dora. My friends and I soon learned that Dora was a misogynist. She never let you take the keys out of the ignition, unless you were a man. The air conditioning didn't work, unless a man hit the AC button. Bumper stickers never stayed on, unless they were affixed by a man. While I'd always refer to her as Dora, my fellow Catholic school girls just called her a whore. One of them called her a Commie, but that's just because she was red. My brother would later take her to college and give her cancer.

Yes, if those old dashboards could talk. I think we all have a soft spot in our hearts for that first car of ours. They usually were, unless you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth, an affordable good running wreck with character. My first was a 1964 pale yellow 2 door Chevy Nova, which survived many of my younger days and wilder ways moments, too many to mention. Back in those days I was awakened one morning by a thumping sound outside my house, only to find the Nova in the process of being stolen. I ran out ranting at the top of my lungs as they ran away like the thieves in the night that they were. The car was 2 houses down in the middle of the street with the ignition wires cut and hanging . I drove that car with starting it by touching 2 wires together for several months, kids my age had better things to do then to take time to fix something. The little Chevy Nova was even then a collectible vehicle it looked nearly new and ran great. Soon after the almost stolen car caper was but a spitting memory, it got me down to Palm Springs then up to San Jose 500 miles away with my dog Reddy in the seat next to me and everything I owned in the back. I sold it in ‘72 for a ‘64 VW bug that I drove into it’s grave, twice lol. Later I drove an exquisite ‘64 bright red Buick Skylark convertible, and cherry it was. The Buick would later exit my life through a most painful experience, but I am here to talk about my first car not the one that got away… sigh. Thanks for the usual much anticipated and appreciated laugh this morning jack! You are a one of a kind writer with a humor hard to match by the likes of anyone that I know of, can’t wait for your next article, I’m laughing already! CNN is so fortunate to have such a talented man working in their presence.

julesgregory

My first car was some sort of early 1990's Pontiac, nicknamed Poncho by my dad. It was brown, ugly, and I totaled it by driving into some lady's bumper at 5 MPH about a month and a half after I got it. (The night before, I had run a stop sign and almost hit someone, so apparently, I was destined to crash that car.)

The next car I got was a stick, and I tricked my mom into letting me borrow her car for the first couple days of school because I wasn't "comfortable" driving a stick yet. Don't know why she believed me...

too funny... love going down memory lane

My first car was '76 brown Rabbit. I drove it like a race car and had way too many fun memories in it. It only lasted about a year until I hit the pointed end of a curb in the rain. In true form, the rabbit jumped the curb but left the engine behind. Since the body was in tact, I couldn't understand why I couldn't start the engine again only to see the darn thing in my rear view mirror. fun times

I still drive my first car... a lot of people wonder why. I can afford a different car if I wanted one, but she has a character. My friends and I call her the "two toned baby"... I felt weird giving her a real name. Anyway, I bought her from a co-worker of my mom's. His wife was driving on the highway and a deer jumped out in front of her. She was okay, and the inside of the car was okay... but the hood needed to be changed. They knew they were gonna sell it and decided not to invest too much money into it. Therefore, my '97 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme has a green body, and a tan hood. About 2-3 years after buying the car I was in an accident, and again nobody was hurt. But now the front driver's side is crunched in. Like I said... character If you see me driving down the street, there will be NO question in your mind if it was me you saw. I debated having the hood painted, but I am at the point now where I know she won't last forever and I don't want to waste my money. She has a mind of her own (even thinks she has 4 wheel drive!!), and has made it through everything as a trooper. I will always love my two toned baby.

My first car in Michigan was a 76 Olds Cutlass Supreme. All black, 4 door, rusted rear fenders you could reach up into the trunk and pull stuff out or chase small animals into.
Big long hood, cool chrome bumpers, steel girders for frame, Olds 350cid 2bbl carb rochester dualjet.
I had a Lot of fun in that, and it went great in the winter, just broke down a lot in the summer.
It had 135k on it, and i got it for $400. it was all my HS grad money, that plus the battery and new tire it needed right away.
I shoulda bought the 78Skylark i test drove.

I beat the Sh_t out of that car. I went through 3 TH350s, rebuilt carb, replaced or fixed – Distributor, coil, radiator, waterpump, timing chain/gears, upper/lowerballjoints, front disc brakes/rotors rear drums/linkage wheelbearings, brakelines, exhaust, shocks, taillights, headlights, starter, tie rods, front swaybar, hoodlatch, door hinge, window track, lock, ignitionswitch thats all i can remember at this point.
The beginning of my car history 20 yrs ago, 12 domestic vehicles, and 5 asian. Olds, Ford, Honda, Ford, Dodge, Ford, Dodge, Nissan, Nissan, Plymouth, Toyota, Olds, Dodge, Plymouth, Jeep, Chevy, Honda.
Had just as many problems with the asian vehicles as the domestics, if not more and more costly including two honda trannies and nissan motor work.

My parents said that if I did not get back with my ex-boyfriend they would buy me a 2006 Ford Mustang. I brok up with him and the next week I was driving to school in my new Mustang.

My first car was the Mazda RX2. Funny thing. I could not figure out why it would not start sometimes for no apparent reason, and left me stranded many a times. Then finally I got it: it had a sensor in the passenger seat that won't let it start if the seat is occupied and the occupier is not wearing a seat belt!

Every time I think about it, I chuckle - just as I am doing right NOW. LOL. OsiSpeaks[dot]com

Ohh Jack you are too damn hilarious.

Thank you for your delightfully hilarious stories they seriously entertain the hell out of me. I had a red 1987 truck. I have no idea what model it was. I really didn't care, I was just so embarrassed to have it. I was even more embarrassed when my friends begged me to pick them up and drop them off after school because they were so lazy they could not walk a few blocks. They so learned there lesson never to ask for a ride again when after 5 days of getting my truck a bomb of killer smoke would engulf the vehicle so I could not see out the windshield. I would have to stop to let the smoke clear and then go on. I did this for about 8 months when I was convinced to trade in my truck so my brother could get a new camero. I was suppose to get rides to work and back for doing this but I was sadly let down and would have to walk to work and back. But I do remember that truck and well I still laugh at it.

Technically, my first car was my mom's handi-down Pontica Grand Am that was the lovely shade of snot green. The 'El Roocho' is my friends labeled it had a wonderful habit of overheating at redlights and intersections. It felt like driving a boat and after three months my parents took sympathy on me. They bought me a Nissian Maxima that I fell totally in love with. I'm 21 and still driving 'Mad Max' and hoping that he will make it all the way through graduate school with me.

An 1989, black ,2 door, hutch-back Toyota Tercel was my first car. I bought it in second year in college. It was affectionately named the go-cart because it was a manual transmission and it transported all sorts of things, from humans and furniture to plants and animals...most interesting of all was a goat, purchased at the local fair. To this day of all the cars I've ever bought, it had the best gas mileage. I used pennies to 'fill' it up and even on reserve tank I could count on it to get me anywhere. My college friends used to joke that it could take us from Missouri, USA to Japan and back!

Hi Jack,
Very funny post today! Brings back memories for me too. My first car was a 1984 Chevy Chevette – maroon 4 door. The driver's door was a green color (junk yard piece). Man! Hey, I'd take whatever I could get at the time. It was my high school ride. Not to worry, I bought a brand new one right after graduation – a black Ford Escort '88. It was fun – I was so proud of myself.

You know, the first car I ever DROVE was a 1970 Barracuda (black & red) pistol grip stick shift. I was probably no more than 12 years old. My dad taught me how to drive it in our local High School parking lot. He would get mad at me when I squealed the tires trying to work the clutch correctly. Man, what a memory. Needless to say, I can drive a stick no problem now. Every time I see a '70 Barracuda, it reminds me of those days way back when. Anyway, hope you have a good day, talk to you later.

My first car was a 1998 Ford Contour. It ran very well for many years until I was ready to trade it in for my Ford Explorer. My wife drives a Ford, too. I love the people who make fun of Ford, yet, which car company is in the black and only wanted to know that if they failed, the government would bail them out? Oh yeah, FORD! Buy American!

excellent reflection and brilliant writing – seriously just what I needed on a boring Wednesday afternoon

Thanks!

It was 1969 and my mother had a little savings from Veterans' checks that had been coming in for me since my dad died (when I was a baby). I begged to buy my friend's car when he was selling it, and she agreed. The pricetag was $3,000! At the time it blew my mind. Now get this... It was a 1966 Dodge Charger, cherry red, four black buckets, 383 w 4-barrel carb. Yes Ima girl- w memories of THIS CAR! I can still hear Santana and Canned Heat whisper in my head. I raced it at Golden Gardens (Shilshole Beach, Seattle) after midnight some Friday night after midnight with hundreds watching. OMG! We rocked the road, this car and I... =)

I once had a 69 Buick. My dad took it to the junkyard to buy some parts but while it was in the parking lot an employee thought the car was junk and sent it to the crusher pile.

My dad noticed the car missing and alerted the owner of the junkyard They had to fork lift the car off the pile and I drove that thing for 5 more years!

Wonderful piece, Jack! Our first car was a bright blue Toyota Corolla, back in 1973, we bought it used. And later sold it. We saw it a few years later in our hometown of Seattle, still had the bright blue color, same license plate (back then you didn't have to change it) and it was running great!

My first car was a 1976 VW Beetle. It was copper-colored with rusting running boards and fenders that threatened to break loose at any moment. 4-on-the-floor and no defroster in the cold Cleveland winters. It was reliable, though and got me to work and college classes!

My first car was my beloved 71 VW bug. I got it with my own money when I was 17. It was baby blue and had a sunroof – the hand crank type! Good times in S. Calif. in that car, thought I was sooo cool!

While all my friends were cool driving unreliable cars in high school, i walked. i took the bus all through college. and now a college grad, i just bought a beautiful honda accord with all the money i saved from walking. who's cool now?

great story, cracked me up....just what I needed, dreary afternoon here in So. Jersey. My first "gem" was a 52 Chevy. I thought I was the bomb. 3 spd. on the column. It was black and in really good shape, considering it was in l967 when I got my license. My brother bought it for me off of some nice old man for $50.00 before he left for Viet Nam so that I could have transportation to go back and forth to work and help my Mom with the bills and errands. He also put chrome Crager rims on it from his 57 Chevy. Wow, did I think I was something. I drove that car back and forth to work for almost 2 years until I saved up enough to get another newer car. It served the purpose and I felt close to my brother while he was away fighting for our freedom and thank God he came home safe after 2 tours over there, despite the fact he was wounded. He still has problems today, but I will never forget that first car I had. I go to car shows now and then, and when I see a 52 Chevy like that one, I get a tear in my eye, what special memories.

The year was 1998, I was a junior in high school. My dad had a 1982 Oldsmobile Delta 88... color navy blue. This car was huge! At the time I didn't care at least I had wheels!! Our situation worked out really well... my dad worked nights and would get home half an hour before I had to leave for school. I loved that car! It took me to many concerts, the beach, the mall... it took many of my friends home after school.

After that car I got a 1986 Delta 88 and after that had a 1989 Delta 88. It was just the car I always went back to!!

My first car was a used Ford Pinto. I bought it in 1974, right after I graduated from high school. My step-father persuaded me to buy it because he loved Ford trucks. He believed Ford was the best car manufacturer ever. All my friends teased me about buying a "Fix Or Repair Daily" but I did it because I was a girl who knew nothing about cars and my step-father had never led me wrong.

It used oil like gasoline. I had it for six months and it was in the shop eight times.

I never bought another Ford, much to my step-father's dismay. He made excuses for that car until the day he died.

P.S. I bought my son a volvo just for revenge of having to drive that green Gremlin. I am a Mother, and that's my job.

The first car I ever drove was "Holden" from Australian Automaker (I think it is a subsidiary of GM), which I have not seen on the roads of US. I actually learnt my driving lesson in this big SUV from my father in Kathmandu, Nepal. I had a lot of fun driving Holden coz it's Huge, has plenty of space, and is very Powerful. I miss driving Holden! The first car I drove here in the US is Totoya Corolla. It gives me great gas mileage and has not given any kind of problems at all. I simply love this car. The next one I might go for after this would be a Sleek Acrura. I am totally day dreaming right now . Thank you Anderson, for letting me share my short car story.

My first car was a 76 white Datsun! got it in Glendale Cal. almost got ran over by an 18 wheeler on the 2 fwy. Scary..5 speed stick...had trouble on the fricking hills of LA.....almost broke the f...ing clutch trying to learn how drive the fricking thing....good memories in that car...Marina del Rey Parking lot oh yeah....got laid many times in that car...OHh the memories

I was two months fresh out of high school, newly married, when my husband and I purchased a new car. It was my first since my parents wouldn't let me drive their's ever and I didn't have the money to buy my own. So, my first car was a brand new 1965 Chevy Impala. It was pretty sporty, I guess, at least the boys still in high school seemed to think so. I didn't like the stick-shift, the light yellow paint, the black inside, but it was pretty "uptown" with the 8-track tape player! I had wanted a red Ford Mustang convertible, but my husband liked the Impala, so that's what we bought. We traded it in for a brand new 1968 Ford Torino, red with racing stripes. It was beautiful and very sporty, but it turned out to be a lemon. My husband refused to buy a new car after that and so we've had used cars since, except he bought himself two new pick ups! Hmmm!

I drove my mother's 1981 mitsubishi lancer until she got rid of it in 1988. the first car i ever bought was a 1983 toyota corolla. Even though the speedometer said 65 mph, it felt like 45 mph. Every one was getting past me on the freeway and if stares can kill, I would have been already but I did not care. Now I drive an MB E350 ... and i'll be one forever

My first car was a 1967 Ford Galaxy 500. Margarine color. (I was born in 1965.) Being the last of 9 children, EVERY sibling in my family learned to drive in that car. By the time it got to me, the horn locked into the "on" position and the headlights blinked if they stayed on longer than 10 minutes. It sure made for an interesting drive home on Saturday nights.

giving up a clunker is not always an option though, especially when you live even just mile or two out into the suburbs of any major city. The buses do not run out in the burbs, and you can forget about a subway system in 99.9% of the nation. Of course we sort of like it that way in the burbs since it keeps out a lot of the criminal element of the inner city. I guess you can't have it both ways.

Jack, you are awesome! That was hilarious!

It reminded me of my first car back in high school, a 1989 two-toned blue Chevy Astro minivan. And like your grandfather giving you his sweet ride, my grandmother thought I needed my own car and what better ride to give a 16 yr old girl than a minivan! It had no a/c, no hubcaps on any of the tires, the steering wheel was down to it's metal frame, and the back seat kinda smelled funny, but man it was my van! The best part, other than being able to drive it whenever I wanted, was that it had a tape-deck and although I only bought CDs at that point, I loved being able to play my old madonna tapes on it!

I had a 72 powder blue Mustang that was like the bus. Take me here, drop me off there. But it would overheat in hilly areas. I met a lot of tow truck drivers.

My first car was a used brown 1989 Chevy Cavalier aka "The Cavi" purchased from a police auction. It was an old police car that still had the spotlight. My bro & I used to go to keggers and turn the light on just to watch our friends scramble like roaches. lol.

It was a trusty & faithful car...until my brother took it w/o my permission and totaled it. Thanks big bro.

The 2nd was also a used Cavi, but this time a white one circa 1993 but no spotlight . I drove it from Seattle to LA when I moved and then sold it when I moved to NY. It never let me down. Thanks GM.

Great piece Jack!

My first was a 76 Olds Cutless Supreme, god I loved that car. It's nickname was "The Bud Mobile" due to all the budweiser labels affixed to the rear window. After the accident it was the "Squirrel Hunter" due to the fact the bumper hung off and the headlight would shine up into the trees. Man I miss that car.

I was in high school in the mid-70's; my first car was a 1966 Buick Electra. Seating for ten. This was before seat belts, never mind air bags. We used to squeeze as many high school juniors as possible into the bench seat in the front and the baby blue torn upholstery seat in the back. Some highlights of Saturday nights in small town New England: Chinese fire drills at the sole traffic light in town. Pressing the accelerator to the floor for maximum impact over Victor's bump: how many heads touched the roof this time? Underage visit to the package store.
I waited in many a Carter-gas line in 1977. I loved that car.

I'm still driving my first car! It's a 1993 GMC Jimmy with 192,000+ miles. I suppose the Jimmy is one of the "clunkers" the administration wants off the road. As long as it's running, I can't afford a new car even with the $4500 credit.

What's more, I'm 24 and about to finish my Master's in Art History, working part-time jobs that require me to drive, and desperately looking for full-time work so that I can start to repay my student loans in six months!

I guess the upside of my "clunker" is that it has an incredibly spacious SUV floorplan that I'll be calling "home" if the job market doesn't improve!

It was 1974 and I had graduated from high school a year early so my parents bought me a fire engine red firebird with white leather interior. It was hot!! I crashed it withing 4 months......
Fast forward to my 50th birthday and my husband gave me a Jeep Wrangler, he said "when you turn 50 you should drive the car you should have had at 16" and he thought I was more a Jeep girl then Firebird. Thankfully, I have not crashed this one!!

My first car was a midnight blue 1974 4-door Mercury Monterey. This was the Mercury version of the good ole Ford LTD. That was the undercover cop car of choice for all those good 70s cop/detective shows. A big badass car with a V8, fun to drive.

Well, fun to drive when it worked. See by the time I acquired Ole Blue in 1981, it looked quite nice on the outside but I don't think any engine maintenance was done on a regular basis.

Since I could pile all my friends in my car, I was the designated driver most of the time. We camped out overnight for concert tickets, cruised Hollywood and Sunset looking for cute rocker boys and other assorted teenage fun things – which may have included alcohol and *whisper* pot.

These teenage adventures were heightened by the fact that Ole Blue could break down at any time, without any warning. Countless blown tires, overheated radiator incidents among other incidents, like the time the drive shaft fell off while we were on the freeway. We were on our way home from the beach, and dressed in our skimpy beachwear, we all looked like a bunch of sunburned hookers alongside the freeway. We got a lot of catcalls that day. My dad was not thrilled when he came to pick us up and he yelled at each one of us as we climbed into his camper. No, he wasn't mad about the car, he was mad at what we were wearing (or actually what we weren't wearing).

Ole Blue died a slow death, finally giving up the ghost in 1991. RIP Ole Blue.

Jack Gray, your blogs are always guaranteed to make me smile. Thank you for bringing a little bit of sunshine into my day. You need to write a book or get all your blogs compiled and published as a sort of "chicken soup for the soul" book.

Jack,

Hysterical stuff as usual!!

My first car was plymouth duster..electric blue. I paid 300. for it and it was a steal...well for one of us anyway! I noticed how loud it was, I asked the guy also he said it just needs a muffler. I figured wow great w/ the low price that was not a problem. I asked the guy before i drove away.."hey don't you want this milk crate in the back seat." He said "nah u can keep it!" Sure thing!! When i took it out at home the seat fell back. ...flat!

Took it to midas and got a new exhaust system. Had my cassette in hand waiting to hear some tunes in my first car When the repair was done. The guy starts it up and still noise. ...omG. I asked what was wrong as i thought they were finished. He said "oh it is but it has a cracked manifold so it still will be noisy." In order to hear music over that it had to be at a painful level.

Those weren't my only surprises, i had noticed things i would drop would disappear. Well one day i was driving and my friend reached down on the floor for something and she say i feel wind??? She lifted up the mat and there was the street going by... zoomin. The floor was rusted out. Nice for disposing of things if in pursuit by police and if i had been a drug runner.

Funny thing is I sold it to a girl over a year later and told her she could also keep the crate!!

~ @spycnsweet

Hello Jack,

Your story made me laugh because my granddad after his passing also gave me my first car- A 1990 Ford Tempo. Dying for any set of wheels I affectionately named him Putt-Putt. It was tan with tasteful patches of rust incorporated into the body, had no cupholders, a dying clock and radio display wherein which I had to guess the station (good thing I wear a watch), the electric seatbelt had a habit of catching, and it smelled of the cigarettes my granddad secretly smoked as he wasn't allowed to smoke in the house or in front of the grandkids. It took three sets of Mr Clean Magic Erasers to clean the tar off of the interior and at times it took forever for the 4-cylinder engine to get to 40 mph but it didn't matter- he was mine and it had a cassette tape player for my i-pod to blast my mp3s through the worn speakers.

I eventually did upgrade to a 2001 Mazda 626 but lost ownership once I went to college. Now Putt-Putt is long gone from neglectful use (he dies of a broken battery and other complications) and my sister drives the Mazda for high school. Recently my Aunt generously donated her first American car to me- a 1994 Toyota Corrolla. I call this one "The Beast" for good reason- she is scraped all over beyond belief, the trunk has a "moisture problem," the teal paint is slowly rusting off, all Toyota insignia has been ripped off by gang members in Philadelphia, and she is lacking a radio antenna and hubcaps; it reminds me of someone who got into a bad bar fight but came out swinging but a little worse for the wear. Nonetheless despite the fact that I had to replace the driver's seatbelt a week ago she rides just fine and has a perfectly functioning cassette tape deck for my i-pod to broadcast music into the cabin once again.

I am currently twenty years old and I guess until I graduate from college and can independently pay twenty-grand for my own vehicle some things will just remain the same. Maybe Chrysler or GM would be willing to work with me and hook me up with one of the thousands of new vehicles sitting on now closed-dealer lots...

My first car was a 69 Dodge Dart with Texas license plates that my dad had given me. I could not afford to register it (California) so i kept getting a temporary sticker for it. To make matters worse, i had no license then either and this car stood out like a sore thumb. Never was pulled over but i did manage to lose the tranny in a parking lot. Gave it away for scrap.

haha good story! My first car was a Maybach 62! I didnt like it at first because it was too big, but I got rid of it the next year and bought a kia!

Lo!!! I remember that! I hated it too!! The kia sportage was wayyyy newer! I love kia's!!! KIA OVER MAYBACH ANYDAY! My first car was a Dodge dart too ! I loved it but it broke down So I bought a Kia!

My first car was also a Dodge, but I have a neon! I loved it, but sadly had to sell it last year and buy a new Mazda 5 for the family I also love kia's too!

My first car was when I turned 16 (1960s). It was a German Vauxhall. Nobody seems to know what kind of car that is. It was powder blue, used and dented. I had my first accidents in that car. Also, the back doors wouldn't close, so I had to use rope strung between the doors to keep them closed. My little brother fell out once when I went down the road. Those were the days...

Thanks for the memories, Jack.

Now I am waxing nostalgic about my new, off the lot, 1972 Chevy Vega. Silver as I called it but I guess others said grey. My grandmother bought it for me at the beginning of my Sr. year in HS and at the time I thought it was great. Yes it saw it's share of smoking and drinking and since we only had AM radios as standard equip back then I installed an 8-Track player, along with a CB radio which was also all the rage and kept me from getting many tickets.

Not everyone wanted to ride with me after I put in that 8-Track. While others in my age group were listening to Steppenwolf and who knows what else. My music case was stocked with Barbra Streisand, Bette Midler, Helen Reddy and the like. Someone should have told me then I was gay. I would have kept my car cleaner.

Oh, that car cost my grandmother a whopping $48.00 a month as a car payment. Those really were the days.

Ah, the memories of that first car! My first car of my very own was a Chevy Vega. My father had the unerring ability to pick poor models (he was a big fan of the Corvair too), so we owned 3 of them. One for me, one for my mom and one for parts.

I learned how to do auto repairs on that poor thing. Fortunately, I've since moved on and refuse to do car work any more. It'd ruin my nails!

Thanks for the oh-so-delightful walk down memory lane, Jack! You brought back memories of my very first ride, C.C., a little 1982 Honda Accord. What a beaut she was. Oxidized silver paint with faded burgandy interior, which matched my dyed hair, which I liked to call Cherry 7-Up red. My ride was named after the "Little Engine That Could". "I think I can, I think I can" turned into Can-Can, C.C. for short. She was a gutless wonder in all her glory.

Nothing power, A/C crapped out a long time before I got her, and I kept a boom-box (remember those?) and a year's supply of D batteries in the car so I could listen to tunes. Yep, she didn't come with a radio either. C.C. hauled my wild friends and I many, many, MANY times up and over the Santa Cruz mountains and to the beach. The stories she could tell – and help put me in jail.

She's long since retired and I've worked my way through many vehicles since her, but I still have a picture of her framed and on my desk. She is always a pleasant reminder of my youth.

My 1st car was a triple black... 5.0 convertible MUSTANG...need I say more...

Being that don't know how too drive don't know what my first car would be . But always liked the Monta Corla that my parents use too have it was a pretty cool ride .
The car I really would like too have is a Neon in bright yellow that would be the idea car for me .

Too funny, as usual Jack. My 1st car back in 1988 was picked out by my father at a corner used car lot that popped up overnight, wouldn't take his check (cash only, please), and then I think the lot vanished after the transaction. Of course he bought it as a high school graduation surprise while I was out of town, but alas the near-decade-old white unreliable Plymouth Reliant wasn't quite what I had in mind. A few months later when parking on a hill and using the parking brake, I found out that the parking brake was actually clothesline. I'm pretty sure that wasn't factory-installed. And the real brakes were replaced no less than four times in the four years I had it. Yet, the car somehow got me through college. My favorite memory? After the speedometer quit working, I counted between mile markers on the interstate to be sure I wasn't speeding (1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississipi...). Ahhh...good times.

My first car..... let's see.... my uncle bought back in the day a brand spankin' new 1966 black cadillac. After a few years of ownership my uncle decided to purchase a new caddy.... that left my dad to purchase the '66 caddy for himself.... then my brother owned it and then I received it. Now, by the time I got it the year was 1976. It was black on black and the only way I could get the heat to work was to pop the hood and fiddle with the compressor, but the air conditioner worked! This baby was so large I was able to take 5 of my friends joy riding with me! Bench seats in the front and back. Lost my virginity in that car too! Ahhhh, memories.....

Ahhh. It was 1998, and I worked for several summers at a theme park to save up for my first car. A 1990 Ford Festiva. It was so small I got teased for having bought "half a car", it didn't have air conditioning (but it did have a working fan), and when I was at the dealer he turned on the radio to show me that it worked. I didn't think about making sure the dial worked, so I ended up with a radio that only got one channel. Conservative talk radio. But it didn't matter because I was nineteen and had my own set of wheels. Now, I'm thirty and own a Chevy Aveo, I don't have a CD player or jack for an MP3 player, but the radio does get all the AM and FM channels, and the air conditioner usually works, so I guess you could say I found the other half of my car.

Great piece! Looking forward to future reads.

My first car was a 1976 Honda Civic. It was a stick shift, white in color, had a landau type top, and the siZe of a tuna can!! :)

I loved it and freedom was mine!

I was a little spoiled - My dad owned a Lincoln/Mercury dealership at the time, so I got a "demonstrator" Mercury Capri (1984?). My dad brought home their "White Lightning" one time to test it out and it scared me silly.

oh, did I mention it had a hatchback? I loved that car:)

My first car was a used 1981 Toyota Corolla hatchback that my Dad bought me shortly before I left home for college. The first week I had the car, it overheated when I was 5 or 6 miles from home. Stupid me kept driving it trying to get home until I cracked the engine block, so my poor father, who I know had spent money he couldn't really afford, paid to have the engine replaced/rebuilt less than a week after buying the thing! He never once yelled at me or complained about it. I had forgotten all about that until today.

Ah....an off-white (or was that dirt?) 1963 Ford Falcon. What a dud. Oddly, I came to learn that two other of my friends in adulthood had this same model as their first wheels! Too funny. Happily, I didn't drive it too long. No great memories there. LOL

I had a red Daihatsu Charade. Kudos to anyone who knows what that was!!

Oh, forgot to mention .... first car was an Austin Morris (ex-Mum's), & then a Honda Civic (red), to no car now...

My first car was a white '69 VW Beetle. We would put 7 friends in it. "Who wants to be in the way, way baaaack?" Fun times.

ahhh....1962 ford galaxy red and white, with a steering wheel that was so big...the car was a boat, but you could pile a number of friends in that car.... aww the memories... totaled it visiting my boyfriend in Muncie when i wasn't suppose to leave town... and that's another memory. LOL

My first car was a pristine 1962 Pontiac Tempest that my mother bought for me from a co-worker. It was a red 2 door coupe with a white (not vinyl) top and a 3 speed on the column. I only had the vaguest idea how to drive a stick shift, but I got in her and managed to get her moving. It took a few tries to figure out that it was an "H" configuration and not just up and down (ie: 3rd,2nd, 3rd). But she was patient with me as I figured it all out and she served me well for several years.

Oddly enough, my second car was a teal green, 2 door, 1963 Pontiac Tempest coupe. This one was automatic, with the shifter on the dashboard. I called her "Sweet Pea" and my dad painted a little dude with a can of beer in his hand on the rear. I loved this car and wish I still had her.

Hey Jack!

Well I didn't have a car in high school; I rode the school bus or my mother's red-hot Datsun which would not start on most days until you had pushed it up the hill and then let it roll down while trying to get it started. It generally took 2 tries. And for those having to do this on a regular or even semi-regular basis, here's a hint – don't tell jokes while you are pushing. Laughing and pushing are mutually exclusive activities and going to school with tread marks down your back is not a good way to get attention.

I do remember my first car – got it in college – it was a tan Plymouth. The most memorable thing about it was its transmission going out on the way back from the mountains one day and getting tolled home. It was a good car otherwise and I loved the freedom it gave me. I don't guess you ever forget your first car – like a rite of passage.

Thanks for another great post!

A red 1977 Pointiac Astre, their version of the Vega, which they somehow convinced my father was worth a few dollars more than the Chevy version of that lemon. I am still surprised that my friends could ever walk after unfolding themselves out of the horrid little back seat,

First Car – Divine! 1971 – 2 dr. Chevy Nova, orange bottom, white top.. called her "Orange Blossom", went like greased lightening with that little 302 V-8, did a little drag racing with her on track & on road!! Back seat brings back some fond memories! lol

My first car was a sky blue Nissan Sentra, and it came delivered in a big pink bow for my 21st birthday. I loved this cute, bright, shiny new car and I felt like I was on top of the world when I got behind the wheel. Unfortunately I fell asleep at the wheel one morning and totalled my cute car, and paramedics had to pull me off the steering wheel. I loved my digital radio and the dash display. I was so glad I had fabric seats because the sun in NC can really cook your rear on some leather seats. I really miss that car.

My first car was my gramps Renault! It took me everywhere.. I was 17. After about 3 yrs, the engine got hot–it had a glass overflow bottle.. My boyfriend sprayed it with the hose.. OMG.. it exploded.. Having no money to fix it, it got towed..My dad was none too happy...You always remember your first car!!

OMG, want to talk about not looking a gift horse in the mouth and trying to accept your first car with gratitude... My fist car was a tan1973 Gremlin with orange detailing.... in 1985!!! My Mom was so proud of the fact she could actually afford to get me a car when I was still in high school – I told her anything would do – she said she got it from a lady in Palm Springs for $400.00 and I went to Laguna Beach High School in Orange County, CA where a bad car was Mommy's used BMW! WoW! Talk about humility!!!

My first car– a beat up 79 Pontiac Sunfire (although wasn't that old since I got it in 1986) held together with duck tape and sheet metal but I was so proud of it because that little peice of crap was all mine

My first car was a 197? Cadillac Fleetwood...I was 17 yrs. old and the car was HUGE. I was afraid to turn corners. I could fit 13 of my friends in that car. It's a classic now, but back then I thought it was my worse nightmare. Only had it for about a month, then my dad had pity on me and bought me a 1976 Oldsmobile. It was big enough to lie down in...I had sense enough to keep the seats in their upright position...Thank God!

I had a green Mercury Comet. Called it the vomit Comet. Ah....good times!

My first car was a 1984 Z28 Camaro and I look really good in my car as 21 yrs old. and I Was Ms. Hot and Sexy

Great memories-mustard yellow '75 Vega-Fill up the OIL and check the Gas. It was a beast. The very best part was the 8-track tape deck my Dad had installed for me and the box of tapes he bought me at a garage sale. Talk about some variety-Everything from Led Zepplin to Gary Lee Lewis and the Playboys and listened to them all. Just like "This Diamond Ring"......no other car can ever shine for me!!!!!!!!

My mom and I had gone shopping to look at used cars and we saw this sweet little sporty thing that I loved and was hoping I would get. A few days later she comes home with a 1974 tan Plymouth Fury – this was 1982 and I was 18. I was mortified. Not only was it old , hideous and huge, it was a gas guzzler. I went up to my bedroom and cried. Fortunately, three years later I was rear ended and went to the hospital with minor injuries, I sued and used the money for a downpayment on a nice 1985 red mustang, which I tooled around in through downtown Chicago.

They no longer make my first car. Remember The Monza? (not Mazda, Monza) lol

"...accepted puberty, with profuse gratitude and quiet shame..." excellent – that's bumper sticker material

My first car was a hand me down from my mom, a late 1960's/70's Toyota Corolla with a worn leather interior covered in shag, manual locks and roll down windows. Yes, I know what you're thinking, lucky me I got the suped-up car every gal dreams of...

On good weathered days, it would go a top speed of 50 mph, woohoo... The car was so small and low, I often felt as if I was driving one of those matchbox cars, just not as sleek. The view was something to be jealous of, I had the previlege of seeing the underside of almost everycar infront of me, ahhh those were the days...

When hurricane season kicked in, my car's version of defrost was rolling down the windows and sticking my head out to get a better view. On those days, I resembled and smelled like the interior of my car, all shaggy and wet.

However there's a special feeling I get whenever I think about my first car, a feeling of freedom from debt and the ability to go wherever I needed to go, eventually. Insurance was about a quarter of what I pay for my current car, not to mention the mileage 30 miles to the gallon. Not bad for a clunker...