Agreed, what better way to keep a memory alive than to have children laughing and playing.

Children playing. I can't think of a better way to honor our fallen heroes. How wonderful!

Interesting.....I grew up when families spent time at the cemetary to memoralize the family......some people still do this...we would bring the blanket , picinic basket , beverage...and it was a day of acknowling our ancestors yet living amongst them. The enviroment was serrene...deer throughout...a pond with fish jumping. Later, I even taught my then teen children how to drive in the cemetary.....
I still go to the cemetary..this time taking my great nephews...my gram planted a beautfiul tree before she passed and it has grown with great arms..perfect for early school aged children to climb on...they love it...at the same time we adults role model to care for the gravesite..planting flowers and so forth.

What a great way to look at it, the Fathers,Mothers Uncles,Aunts,etc who lay there are looking down and ,I think, loving the fact that their children are having fun as they would at any family picnic. Death is part of life even if it occured in such a tragic way..and too soon.

They are all fallen Heroes...and AC you rock...

Very compassionate thoughtful piece. Thanks for remembering our fallen.

Wow! I loved this. Thanks for sharing.

Being a South African who has never experienced Arlington National Cemetery I found your article brilliant . It painted a beautiful picture in my mind and made me think that perhaps bubbles and childrens laughter would remind those that so bravely gave their lives – why they did – for those children , for their future – for their bravery and selflessness those children can infact laugh freely.

Thank you for a truly wonderful reading "experience".

What beautiful imagery.
Tragically, without the loss of many many soldiers, there wouldn't be happy and healthy children here at home. I see it as fitting that children should dance where soldiers lie. More beautiful and meaningful than flowers.

BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!

A.C., that was a beautiful piece. Thank you very much.

May the children play and laugh freely as "our" fallen heroes smile from above. God Bless.

I would have to agree that it seems like children playing on the graves of those that have given their lives to protect our wife of life is the greatest way to honor them. We cry because of the loss we experience when our loved ones leave, but living our lives to the fullest and enjoying the liberties that we have is the greatest way we can honor our loved ones and their sacrifices.

Last September I visited Section 60. I don't know anyone buried there, but as a Viet Nam veteran I wanted to be with them for a few minutes. While there, a young woman and her daughter of about 5 years arrived and walked down one of the rows. As they passed the markers, the girl tapped each one and said, "Daddy." When they got to the last one, she said, "Hi Daddy."

Talk about being choked up! So sad to think that the child may well have been right about each of the others being someone's daddy. It didn't have to be this way.

Very touching – thanks for the blog. I am glad they are allowed to play. I like to think that their deceased loved ones would want them to be happy. I am sure the children's memories will be bittersweet, but I hope they grow up with some happy memories of "visiting" their loved one.

Great piece! Nuf said!

This was very nice to read.

Thank you. When I visit the cemetery where my grandson is buried, I have noticed the same thing. People leaving mementos, spending time. It leaves me feeling peaceful and with a feeling of hope and that the ones that aren't here with us physically are not forgotten. What a wonderful memorial to someone's life.

That's the problem with kids today, they have no respect and aren't taught any by their parents. They run wild while the parents are oblivious to them. Not just in cemeteries, but everywhere. Maybe you love your little dumpling no matter what they are doing, but the rest of us don't appreciate their bad behavior.

"There may come a day I will dance on your grave; if unable to dance I will crawl." – Grateful Dead

This is what these men died for. That children might run free and enjoy their youth to the fullest in joy and freedom.

Many of the people in those graves barely finished their own youthful lives. They would understand and enjoy the frivolity of childish innocence cavorting above their mortal remains as a sign that they did not perish in vain.

The fruits of freedom express a happiness over them that they could never live to enjoy.

laugh or cry?

I choose to laugh,especially in memory of a lost friend who would have wanted to leave family and friends with happy memories

I totaly disagree with your idea that children playing on graves is a good thing. The biggest thing wrong with our society today is that our children are not taught respect for anything including but not limited to life, other peoples property, authority , and even their own bodies.
These children without proper guidance will be tomorrows Murderers, theives and drug dealers. By the time I was 6 years old I was taught respect by my parents.

I couldn't agree more! What a wonderful gift for those fallen heroes to "hear" the sound of playing children. The giggles and smiles – I feel – is such a way of showing respect.

Thank you for the very heart touching commentary. Childeren seem to know alot more than the adults sometimes.

At first when I read children playing graves as a mother I was horrified but after reading on I think you are right as long as it's not disrespectful.

Ed Polk is exactly right. Parents must teach their children to be respectful, especially in cemetaries, or just don't take them at all. It is a place to honor and respect the memory of the dead. It is NOT a playground!.

What a wonderful article... That is why we soldiers do what we do, to protect the freedom and basic human rights of our future generations...

Laugh or Cry?? I did both. Children are innocent and know only love. To be taught to be proud of a parent who served this country is a beautiful gift to give them. As they grow and can understand better the sacrifice their parent gave will only increase their love as well as their reverence.

Beautiful perspective. Although, I agree section 60 is probably the saddest acre in Arlington to most. Mine is section 54. Our brother, Marine Cpl. Dale A. Burger, Jr was KIA at age 21 during the Battle of Fallujah in Iraq.

He is not buried in Section 60, rather Section 54....under the same tree our father, Dale Burger, Sr., a Vietnam Vet was buried under less than 6 months earlier. This was at our brother's request (in case something happened to him).

It would be interesting to know how many other (if any) Iraq casualties are buried in Arlington...but not in Section 60...and why.

Again, thank you for the article.

Semper Fi

This was one awesome and inspiring story! I am glad to see that the children not only understand what is happening, but also making the best out of it! Thanks and keep up the good work!

As an Army veteran, there is no greater satisfaction than knowing that the American people are still able to enjoy their freedom. I hope, when I pass out of this world, that my children blow bubbles, laugh, and reminisce. Celebrate the lives of our soldiers and loved ones. For those who feel these displays of childish innocence are disrespectful, remember that everyone mourns in their own way. Remember that reverence and respect do not necessarily wear a pall of gloom and silence. Remember that those children are visiting section 60 because someone germane to their lives has been buried there. You cannot be the arbiter of pain and suffering, people must be allowed to grieve in their own way and their own time. Beautiful observation AC, thanks.

Ed, shouldn't you be chasing kids out of your yard?

Great piece AC.

agree with Ed Polk: "...The biggest thing wrong with our society today is that our children are not taught respect for anything including but not limited to life, other peoples property, authority , and even their own bodies...."I think a little bit of quietness would not harm. Cemetery is not a playground....they can be playfull, but gently – not to touch other graves properties, not to kick....this is rude, disrespectful.
My grandmother used to go to sit on cemetery bench, listen to birds, meditate. Noise is distracting. It is sad place, to remember, not for a picnic....it is good not to cry all the time, but when I remember my dad, i cry, I am sad, I smile remembering his great personality, but to be noisy and disrespectful on cemetery is not right.
I do not mean to be absolutely quiet, but tame it down....let others to visit in peace....it is a place where you "talk" to people who left....

Cemeteries have not always been place people go merely to mourn; the Victorians often used to picnic in cemeteries. I feel that these children playing in the cemetery is appropriate, and a lovely testament to the fact that life does, and should, go on. It doesn't mean that these people are being forgotten, but that they are being celebrated, which is as it should be.

This is shameful. How unfortunate that parents cannot teach these ill-mannered children that there is a time and a place for play. The place that represents the ultimate sacrifce of soldiers is not it. If children cannot behave in a respectful manner and appreciate and revere these soldiers, then they should not be taken to Arlington National.

That is what these men died for; for our children to run free. NO BETTER legacy can I think of than to have children run freely, laughing over my grave due to my actions and the actions of my comrades in arms.

I'm sure the laughter of children is like music to those brave men and women who rest in that hallowed ground.

I remember my WWII vet grandfather telling me before he died that he wanted to be remembered with smiles, laughter and happy stories, not tears and wailing.

That beautiful story made me cry. How wonderful. One side of my family has an old country cemetary in North Alabama where I remember going as a small child with my family every couple of years. All family would meet there in the spring for a picinic and to clean up the cemetary. Us kids would play there and read all the headstones that dated back to the Civil War. Those relatives have long died off now and that makes me sad. Anderson, that was truely a work of art. Great job Larry

My young children attend day care on Fort Myer and you can see the headstones of Arlington from their class rooms. As military children, they are already developing an appreciation and pride for my husband's service and we have had some interesting conversations with our eldest (age 5) about death, patriotism, freedom, faith and other big life issues as a result of driving past the cemetery and the natural questions that come up. Kids will be kids, but I think there is so much value in taking them to Arlington at a young age. My 2 year old would likely be one of the ones running around the expansive space. However, as we often leave day care at 5:00 pm when Retreat happens to be playing on Fort Myer, he will stand still, face the flagpole and salute for the duration. I loved this article by the way and agree with the author's perspective.

To Ed – I suppose it depends on how you define respect. I can't think of a better way to "respect" the fallen fathers, brothers, sisters, heroes than to have their spirit surrounded by the laughter and delight of the the children.

What a moving article. I don't want my children or grandchildren, my sister or my brothers mourning over me. I have had a lilfe, sad at times, happy most, adventurous at times, like I said, I have had a life.
Some of these young men were still youthful in their ways. Even old men are. Young women and old women, one will agree, the laughter of children is the best medicine. They are soon not going to be children and face reality that the world is crap, so let them enjoy their youth, and what better way to honor a fallen soldier to laugh and play among the fallen, because that is what they died for, FREEDOM!!!
Great article.

In reading the comments, I think that both sides have good points. I believe that death touches each of us differently. We need to recognize that while many of the respondants saw joy and honor in children celebrating life, others are hurt by it, wanting a quiet respectful environment while they grieve. I personally have no issue with the kids frolicing, but would hate to cause someone else more pain.

I have found tht having children participate in family funerals is important, both for them and for the whole family. Having children around helps us all realize that life goes on. For the children, it helps them understand real loss and the concept of honoring those no longer with us.

Cemeteries used to be a place of remembrance and fun. There is a large, historic cemetery up the road from my house and I go there often to walk the paths and look at the headstones. As I started to look into the history of the place, I realized that there used to be a bandstand where bands would play on Friday nights. People would show up, buy drinks, and dance. Also, many things like picnics and other public celebrations were scheduled there. This was apparently the case at many 'places of rest' around the country. Only in the last 50 years have they really become somber places where people feel they should tiptoe and whisper. The people buried at cemeteries probably didn't mind a good party whilst living, do you think that's changed because they're dead?

A very well written, and touching, article. Thank you.

It's all about respect. Sometimes the very lack of disrespect implies a certain appropriateness of action that is included in "respect". Children don't need the burden of early death or understanding of ultimate sacrifice. Sadly, this will come soon enough to their lives. Their role is to help us put our burdens into proper perspective. What image provides a better contrast than the very serious nature of our military cemetaries juxtaposed against the very reason that these men and women sacrificed everything - our future, our values, our beliefs, our dreams that may only ever be realized through our children.

I'm sure the dead don't mind the noise... May God Bless Everyone Who Serves.

My husband is an active duty soldier who has served three times in Iraq and once in Afghanistan. He and I both found this article touching. The children of soldiers should not have to bear the heavy burden of seeing their parents of to war and never come back. The best thing we can all do for them is allow them to be children and to celebrate the lives of those we have lost . We should not impose upon them somberness and a sense of guilt. The children of the fallen should have memories filled with positive emotions. Their memories of them should filled with hope, happiness, and pride for the sacrifice their loved ones have made. My husband for one would want our children happy and peaceful not full of somber ,anger, and regret.

It all depends on the person and how they want to remember the fallen. Not everyone likes the black wearing, the near mute enviorment. To see what the author is writing about can lift you out of that dark place.

Respect is also displayed in many ways. Repect can be displayed with a somber head nob, but it can also be from a smiling face, a joke and a laugh.

I lost my closest friend at a young age. Jokes and smiles are how we remember him.

Memories shouldn't just haunt you, memories should make you smile.

Not once in this article were these children said to be disrespectful in any way. In fact it was pointed out that they did not climb on gravestones, deface property or any behave in any other way that would be termed disrespectful by any parent. Being a child is not inherently disrespectful and that they can find some joy in this place where their loved ones are buried proves the beauty of the resilience of childhood. If we make our children afraid of these places or unwelcome in them then we are throwing away the chance for them to learn about their ancestry, the sacrifices they made and the privilege of honoring them in their final resting place. To call these children tomorrow's murders and drug dealers because they are simply being children is the ultimate in disrespect and by an "adult" no less. As a parent I think that to be joyful about a loved ones life and not confined to "proper" behavior as prescribed by a person such as those who responded negatively to this article is the ultimate expression of love and honor.

As the son of a Marine that fought in the south pacific, i doubt my father shared your outlook on todays children, my five year old prayed for his grandpa this weekend along with placing a flag alongside his tombstone, he saluted the Marine Corp flag that proudly waves above my fathers grave. Ed Polk i am sorry you feel children that have fun in a place that most feel so sacred will grow up to be so bad, God Bless the fallen Heroes and God Bless our children.

I couldn't disagree with commenter Ed Polk more.

Mr. Polk, I think you've jumped an awfully long way here from young children playing to their becoming drug dealers, murderers and thieves.

If the dead could hear, I would imagine they would rather hear the laughter of (their?) children instead of tears. They would rather know they were remembered with love and happiness instead of with constant grief. These children will outgrow the need to play; they'll learn respect for these lost ones as they grow older. What would you have them do, conduct a new funeral at every visit?

This was a lovely piece, and I agree with Mr. Shaughnessy. Well put, Mr. Shaughnessy.

When I eventually die I want to have a big party with loud music, bright colors and lots of fun. The thought of children dancing on my grave and having fun brings a smile to my face. I am a retired soldier and served two tours and I know that the men and women buried there would agree with me. But then again, I am an NOT religious or fearful of death.

A life should be celebrated instead of a death being mourned.

Oh Ed lighten up will ya?!

The article was very specific in stating that the children were well behaved and playing. If they were being unruly, then that is disrespectful. Children, however, should be allowed to play and I can't imagine that the deceased family members/friends would want anything different.

Mr. Polk, I think you might have gone just a lot too far with that comment. How can you start with children playing on graves & end with them being murderers & thieves? Don't you think that's a little ridiculous? This is a healthy way to teach children to not fear death, and to interact with the memory of their loved ones-who probably enjoyed being played on when they were here.

Wow, I am surprised at the comments regarding the lack of respect today's children have. Old and grumpy people have been saying "the biggest thing wrong with our society today" is kids lack respect, there isn't enough discipline, etc. generation after generation. If you read the article thoroughly, you would have read "Never did I see a child behave inappropriately. " Quit being negative! This is a great article! If only I will be blessed enough to have children dance and blow bubbles happily on my grave!

I worry about the judgemental attitudes of a few people's comments above, they totally missed the point of the article...and the reason the soldiers fought so hard – freedom...

These children are not misbehaving or disrespectful, they are experiencing death in their own way. Honoring the soldiers ultimate sacrifice though children's laughter and joy, what an amazing concept? Being allowed to smile, laugh and play when among loved ones is such a beautiful way to show them the respect they deserve... I thank those men and women who fought so hard so these children could run, blow bubbles and play freely... I am truly grateful.

I agree with Ed Polk to a degree, as I do believe that children are not taught respect for anything these days – they play with toys in church, run around restaurants, etc. Perhaps children could come to the gravesite with something quiet to occupy their time while mom/dad spend time in reflection. A book, a video with an earphone... and a chair or blanket to sit on. If the adult wishes to spend an hour in prayer/meditation, the children cannot simply sit quietly and stare. But I do believe they should start in meditation with the parent, for a time period appropriate to their age.

I grew up playing among the same headstones my mother and grandmother played around when visiting the family plot in CT. I was not loud or rowdy... it was all comfortable and interesting. So many people are afraid and formal around death. I'll be very happy if my kids and grandkids picnic on my grave when I'm gone!

We do this at my father's grave at Barrancas National Cemetery at NAS Pensacola. We usually lay out a blanket and have a picnic. Sometimes Mom and I would go out early in the morning, stopping at Hardee's on the way to base to pick up Papa's favorite breakfast to share.

Ed & SLM- you two need to stop and take a breath, these children, laughing and living are what our soldiers fought for. Per Larry S, the author, he saw no disrespect, no outbursts.

If the fallen among whom the children were 'playing' were watching and I am certain they were, they would be proud to know that they did not sacrifice in vain, that freedom and laughter ring.

May we always hear the laughter of children as the voice of freedom.

To those of you who say that it is disrespectful of these kids to be playing, why? What is so disrepsectful about children playing outside? How is letting children play and be innocent "letting them run wild?" AC said "A few babies cried, but there were no temper tantrums. No climbing on headstones or intentional destruction of the personal memorials so many families have created at the graves." These children seem to me to be well behaved, there didn't seem to be any bad behavoir. How you can say that allowing a child to play is going to ensure that they grow up to be "tomorrows Murderers, theives and drug dealers". This kids aren't growing up without guidance, their parents are taking the time to spend with them, and show them places like Arlington.

Very touching. I think anything mentioned about Arlington Cemetery is always both sad and comforting. The beauty of children among those headstones of the bravest this country has to offer makes a bitter-sweet image. I am sure that they are comforted knowing tears aren't the only healing allowed among the Gardens of Stone; children's laughter heals, too. God bless the men and women laid to rest in Arlington; may we always remember their courage and sacrifice. (EP, I think you've got it all wrong).

Thank you. This was a wonderful article and I agree laughing over crying any day

I really appreciated the thoughts and consideration shared in the article. It is my opinion that once we loose the laughter of both ourselves as individuals and of the children we as individuals have lost hope and maybe life's purpose. Laughter should be shared in the memorial services of the lives that lived with us and that left this earth. The question should be then asked what is wrong with laughter in a cemetery?

I personally choose the life with shared laughter, not the life with no freedom(s).

What a beautiful story. Our children will grow up beautiful people who respect our fallen heros and who will hopefully understand why their mothre/father/sister or brother died for our freedom. Running laughing children is seeing the best of being free!

I am constantly surprised how some people miss the whole point of an article. I love the idea that children get pleasure from remembering their fathers and mothers and are comfortable with the idea of playing among the tombstones. Your article specifically said that no damage was done and that adults seemed to get joy out of watching the children. Murderers, thieves, and drug dealers...give me a break! So sad that Ed and SLM can't enjoy the beauty of life instead of the always looking at the negative.

Arlington was the highlight memory of a trip to DC several years ago with my 3 young boys, we heard a choir practicing Amazing Grace during the changing of the guard at the tomb of the unknown soldier. It was good for them to see the importance of taking care of the soldiers killed fighting for their country. We walked and ran looking for the grave of a friend of their father's killed in Iraq, and it was this time that we shared looking at the rocks stacked on and around the headstones that allowed for an intimate conversation about sacrifice for ideals, and about not forgetting people who have died, continuing to visit your loved ones should be an open and regular thing to do. I hope they will continue to talk to me once I am gone. We did find the grave sight and the headstone had sunk to one side, so as we left we went to the office and let them know, a human responsibility. I will never forget that day. I had been anxious that the visit would make them afraid, but the opposite was true, it allowed them to be free to see the loss and celebrate the lives of those buried there. Arlington is a national treasure.

My parents are buried in a National cemetary, but they lived lives cut short by illness. At 60, I've outlived them both. It is a sad place for me...so sad, I choose not to go. Section 60 is made up of men and women who died before thei "times". Whatever those families do, WHATEVER comfort those families find, be it children putting pictures on their dead parents' graves, playing with bubbles,playing tag, etc. they have certainly earned the right...and I for one will not judge their behavior disrespectful. Those men and women gave their lives; so did those families...and whatever gives them the strength to face another day without their loved ones is just fine with me. God bless them! I'd rather hear a child's laughter than sobbing...

Ed Polk, you're wrong. I know if I died in war (or anytime) I would want my children or grandchildren to enjoy life and play close. It's such a great event to play for their loved ones even if they don't realize their doing for them. Why mourn for the lost, when we can be happy they were here?

What an amazing story!

As a veteran myself I cannot think of anything more honorable than to have the children playing freely on this sacred ground where those that gave their all to make and keep us free are resting! If we could ask those that lay there I am sure they would be smiling!

The nicest article I have ever read.

God Bless all of our Fallen Heros!

Let the children play. There's time enough to take that away from them as they grow older. How sad indeed that these brave men and women gave their life so we could all live. I wonder what the premanent occupants of area 60 would say when hearing that allowing a small child to play would some how turn them into a murderer, thief or drug dealer.
My Great-grandfather was a veteran of WW I. Some of his last words may be the answer. He said "I hope that heaven is a place full of kids and dogs and spotted ponies."

How do people know what the deceased parent or friend would have thought about the kids playing on the graves. I was taught to be so afraid of graveyards that it took me years before I would even set foot in one.

I say it is a beautiful thing for the children to realize that it is not a place to be afraid. Just somewhere to visit passed loves and missed loved ones.

To the 2 posters who think the children were disrespecting, please read the article again. These brave people died so that all children will remain free to run. There is a word for this, but I can't think of it now, so, here's to our Heroes and to our future. Let the children play, always and forever.

That could possibly be one of the most beautiful, touching and insightful blog entries I've ever read. Thank you.

I'm sorry. Great piece, wrong sentiments. This is a perfect example of the lack of respect that the newer generations are showing for society. We have to put up with children running and screaming with reckless abandon through restaurants and touching and tearing up things that don't belong to them in retail locations. No respect for anything. And now we're talking about how cute it is to do the same thing at a cemetery? There are ways to honor these fine soldiers, but this isn't one of them.

There were things placed upon those graves that were personal and not meant for children to play and touch. I'm appalled that anybody would think that this is somehow cute and ok.

I have to write something since I don't want the above message to be the last one on this thread.

I think your blog about children playing and laughing amonst the gravestones is marvellous. Our Grampa and Grandma are buried on a hill in southern Oregon and every once in a while we go down there and have a picnic with them. There are always other families there doing the same thing and it is a place of happiness and serenity and fond feelings. The anitdote to grief is the voices of children.

Sally Read

AC, what can I say, except this is a wonderful piece. My wife is in the Navy so I've been to Arlington, on a few occasions it is such a place of reflection that it is beyond words. Thank you for your insight.

The best way to honor the dead is to not allow the enemy, or the federal government, to take away the freedoms our brave soilders died for...

Life is for the living, and this holds especially true for children. Seeing kids run free in a cemetery reminds us what life is truly about. Live it to the fullest and find some joy in each moment, even the sorrowful ones. We honor those who have died when we enjoy the moments we have been given, as a result of the sacrifices they have made. I've watched my own young child run through the peaceful cemetery in Westwood, CA. It's a lovely vision, and one I'll always cherish.

Just my personal opinion: a cemetery whether it be Arlington or a small family plot is no place to be playing around. This may explain why some of those 30 and younger have no respect, parents are too lenient and tolerant of misbehavior.

Children living life – it reminds us all that life goes on – we need to be there for the living – not die with the deceased. Yes, we miss them horribly, but our children are here, right now, and need us, right now.

To those who think it is disrespectful – it is a relatively new and more so a North American concept to be quiet and serene in a cemetery. Around the world this is not the norm, nor was it in the past. Just because you wouldn't necessarily honor the dead in the same way does not mean it is disrespectful. The article isn't talking about kids breaking things or throwing fits or screaming. As a mother of 3 whose husband and cousin are buried at Arlington, my kids love to show off and laugh at their Daddy's grave. My 6 year old daughter "showed" her father that she learned to do a cartwheel. I'm sure his soul is much happier in heaven to see his daughter's happiness rather than to see her stand in silence and cry.

Thank you for writing this beautiful article. It was my daughter that day blowing bubbles with her aunts. We chose to remember the laughter that my husband brought into our lives than how he died. My youngest will never know him but she will know that he loved to laugh and loved his family. So if I allow my children to play and laugh when we visit him it's because it makes them happy. And that is the only my husband and I wanted for them. Thank you again

Lovely story

For those of you who still do not get it: WE ARE TALKING ABOUT RESPECT FOR OTHERS, Not yourself and what YOU think is right or wrong. If you can, please pull yourself out of this narcissistic realm and think of others. I agree that life is for the living and seeing children run and play is a blessing. And, if you want to take your children to the cemetery to see their Daddy and let them play on HIS grave, great. Just please don't disturb others, it is rude. I am just sick of parents thinking that everyone loves their child's obnoxious behavior as much as they do. Contrary to what you believe some of us still teach respect for others and that thinking of others first is the key to peace.

Further more, it is NOT the norm to run and play on the graves of others. Not sure where you got your information on the history North America cemetery behavior. As for what they do in other countries, I don't care.