UPDATE: Check out our Beat 360° Winners!

If Judge Thomas offers you a Diet Coke, it's probably best to politely decline it.

wanna see my secret bunker??

You'll be fine, just don't say anything stupid like me and you'll get the nomination

"Sonia I know you chose Ricky Martin as the Latino singer to perform later, but Barack and I really wanted Shakira !"

I always knew that you were the one

Judge Sotomayor... don't worry... I got your back!!

President Obama does the occasional fist bump but VP Biden's specialty is head bumps. (Get used to it, Judge Sonia!)

Psst, Sonia, do you want to switch jobs

Psst...if you ever want to go out for burgers, I'm your man.

By the way, did you filed all your taxes properly?

"Don't believe a word of it when they tell you my vocal chords are powered by the Ever-Ready-Bunyy!"

"Hey Sugar, I need a parking ticket fixed."

"Judge Sotomayor remember to smile, I am sure that your pic is going to be in the AC360 contest."

I told Barack, who by the way is my best friend, that the Republicans wouldn't dare to mess with you.
Albuquerque, NM

Joe Biden trying to read Sonia Sotomayor's mind.

Pssst...I know where the secret bunker is.

Judge Sotomayor remember to mention my name in the remarks.

How about Dinner tonight?

Biden saying..."Stick around here and we'll show you what CHANGE is all about!!"
Fort Myers, FL

If you have any problems or questions, have your people contact my people.

Gee, your hair smells terrific.

Chicago, IL

Let's practice. I'll be you, and you be the microphone. You followin' me, here?

"Obama said I couldn't speak any louder than a whisper anymore!"

Gee your hair smells terrific!!

Today's AC360 picture needs no caption, just a deafening accompanying sound effect of Biden sniffing at Judge Sonia's hair.

Remember, anything you say will be on YouTube

"Stick around here Sonia, maybe you can show us how to make that CHANGE we've been talking so much about!!!! "
Fort Myers, FL

VP Biden: "Are you sure your taxes are in order ?"

You had me at "hello."

::Deep inhale:: Sonia, what type of shampoo do you use?

I am in need of knowledge hopefully you will give me some.

"Ill tell you, if you get the confirmation make sure you attend the offical announcement. You could eat for a week just on the h'ordourves."

Where were you during Memorial Day, I was waiting for you in the court.

Now, how about those burritos you promised me!

Whaddya say to a little judicial activism in your chambers after this is over?

Vice-President Biden, if you get any closer to me I am going to call 911

I'll bet you some Delaware Dogs for New York Steaks that you get it on the first ballot!

You might want to avoid any jokes about the "do over" with Judge Roberts...

Vice-President Biden, step back or else...

Now remember to watch Rush Limbaugh choke on this one!!!

I just want to give you a warning.. In the days ahead, I'll be making latino jokes and I don't want to offend you...I'm an equal opportunity offender.

If, I blow in your ear. Will you follow me everwhere?

Obama gives a rousing loud clap to awaken Joe as he dozed off during Sonia's speech.

"Remember not to say too much"

After the speech, lets go to McDonalds, I here that they are giving away free coffee. Trust me you will need it.

This is a microphone not Jose Antonia's back window.

What are you going to wear under the robe?

I was told that Taco Bell had the first Hispanic Supreme.

If you win this you are up for a more high profile position on American Idol....

Biden to Judge Sonia: "I need a legal opinion. Do they serve Chicken Supreme at the Supreme Court?"

"Psst. Rush Limbaugh hopes you fail."

-Wyatt Knight

Don't tell him I said so "but my dog is still smarter than his".

Whatever you do, don't repeat what I'm saying, because I never make any sense!

"Take it from me, you should probably just keep your mouth shut

Vulcan Mind Meld – Puerto Rico – my hearts devotion

Now that Democrats got 60 seats in the Senate, My people promised me that you will have no problem at all during this journey to be a Supreme Court Judge, just remember to get me Ricky Martin's autograph.

If you win this you will be up for a more high profile position on American Idol

Tell me again the politically correct moniker- is it hispanic? or latino?

You're the man!

Congratulations Sonia...we can celebrate later as today is "going commando" day in the Biden household!

VP Biden: "Can you keep the Thank-You speech on the short side Sonia, I forgot to use the restroom before we came in !"

"Sorry for whispering, Sonia... they don't let me talk normally anymore."

"congratulations!! just make sure to never speak ill of the presidents dog".

Southfield,MI

Change is coming...even to the Supreme Court.

just make sure you dont put your foot to far in your mouth,trust me,ive been there!

Champ is smarter than Bo. Pass it on...

Make sure Chief Justice Roberts doesn't flub up your swearing in; you'll have to do it all over again. ...And we wont be allowed to even joke about it!
Taylor
Los Angeles, CA

"Please tell me you paid your taxes this year. And don't say anything stupid, that's my job."

"I think I'm gonna head-bump her before the Prez fist-bumps her..."

"Let's play "telephone," now whisper "i like drinking elephant juice" to Barack!"

Biden (whispering): I told him to pick you, I know you can handle all the mavericks out there!
Obama (thiking): Dear God, please don't let him say anything that will turn federal justice into the commerce secretariat... I promise she will swear in your name only.

I've heard all about your "towering intellect," but I was hoping for a little of that "emphathy".....

"Don't tell Obama....I put a whoopee cushion on his chair in his office. Look at him, he has no idea what he's in for!"

my place or yours?

Don't worry you will do just fine. I love your hair.

"What kind of conditioner do you use?"

Biden: I know it's hard, but just keep smiling and pretend you're happy. It'll be over soon, wait a little.

Remember, "think before you speak" then try to actually do it.

I got a lion in my pocket, and baby it's ready to roar!!!

(this is a verse from a PRINCE song!!)

Vice President Biden still hasn't learned about personal space - Bo's more house-trained than him!

No fist bumps for U.S. Vice President Joe Biden, only a head butt will do as a congratulations.......

President Obama is thinking......"That explains alot"

Victoria Texas

Sniff, sniff, mmmmm...smells like empathy.

Remember to make an appointment with AC360, they have the best media coverage... People will know you better.

Sorry I had my arms crossed during the President's introduction of you!

"Mind if I headbutt you?"

-Wyatt Knight

Gee, your hair smells terrific.

Yes, Mr. Biden I know all about your secret plan...

If you don't mind, I'm just going to rest my head here for a few minutes.

This isn't the normal Barack Fist Bump, but it's fun too!

Your Honor... Take it from Joe... don't "ad lib".

When I count to three look up and just smile and wave,smile and wave!

After the press conference, Vice-President Biden quietly advises the new Supreme Court nominee: "Just remember to make sure you're never in front of a live mic when making inappropriate comments."

"May we quote you on that, Mr. Vice-President?" a reporter comments from the back of the room.

"Do you want in on the basketball pool? It's twenty bucks."

President Obama tried to steer Judge Sonia Sotomayor away from Vice President Biden before she gave her remarks to the national media, but was too late and can only hope she doesn't say anything stupid.

If you want to say anything stupid just refer the question to me.

"Remember, your secrets will always be safe with me".

Biden admits to sonia, oh god! I can take a nap on your head without any hesitation.

"Don't look now, but I think President Obama is copying your notes."

He likes burgers, but lets do Taco Bell next week...

Anything labeled "P" or "V.P." in the fridge is off limits. Other than that... welcome aboard.

Biden (whispering): I told him to pick you, I know you can handle all the mavericks out there!
Obama (thinking): Dear God, please don’t let him say anything that will turn federal justice into the commerce secretariat… I promise she will swear in your name only.

Gee, your hair smells terrific.

"You might want to dial back a little on the hair color. A bit of grey provides a nice contrast with the robes. Trust me on this one."

Enjoy it while it lasts... This is the only time you will stand next to him during a photo opt. That is my job..he promised me that during the election.

Your hair smells like change, did you know that?

Remember, if Barack asks, he has the cutest dog in the world!

Just smile and wave, Sonia...just smile and wave!

"Psst, Sonia, do not tell Barack I told you but you were my idea."

Carl White
Atlanta GA

do you have any hair tips??...i got this patch business in the back I am trying to cover.

"Don't tell them where my secret bunker is!"

Biden: *sniff sniff* "You smell WONDERFUL!"
Sotomayor: "Oh God...Maybe if I don't move, he'll just go away..."
Obama: "I'm seriously begining to wonder why I made you my running mate Joe..."

Don't worry, I respect the Hispanics in politics...just ask Bill Richardson.

Meet me in the pantry so we can cook something up!

If you want to get confirmed better hope that stories about you livin la vida loca don't come out.

What did you do to get nominated? I had to "accidentally" give away Cheney's secret bunker.

"You know they used to let me speak at these things once"

Soto-mayor???? No, Supreme Court Justice!!!

...and then, after I won my third election, I...

Wanna hear something funny?

don't listen to him just read from this

Hmmmmm...smells like Chanel No 5

"JUST REMEMBER MRS. SUBTLEMINOR, TALK FAST AND USE A LOT OF JIBBERISH, THEY'LL LAP IT UP LIKE A KITTY DOES MILK."

Biden: "I can help you get over any moderation issues you may have. By the way do I need a mint?"
Orlando, FL

Ay Querida, I can't wait to see you in that black robe.

Joe Biden performs Vulcan Mind Reading Trick on Supreme Court Nominee.

OR

Joe Biden: "If Spock can do it, so can I"

In a moment of disappointment, Biiden attempts to head-butt Sotomayor when he learns that his first choice, Judge Judy, was not selected to replace Souter.

Don't worry Timmy can spin whatever dumb thing you say into a positive, he's had alot of practice with me.

Take it from me, think, really think, before you say anything.

Judge Sonia Sotomayor : Please just stick to the prepared speech!
U.S. Vice President Joe Biden : I NEVER stick to the script baby- and look at where it has gotten me so far!
Judge Sonia Sotomayor : Chuckles

Crystal Prince
Bloomington, Indiana

I'll be more than happy to give you lessons on taking your foot out of your mouth, if need be.

Remember, the WHOLE country is watching you right now.

"You simply must give me that Mango Salsa recipe. That pushed you past Governor Granholm in the selection process."

We can do great things if we get rid of that guy on your left.

Biden: Want to know how to win the beat 360 challenge?

Obama: Oh no....there he goes again,...I am sure he's saying something stupid to her.

"Gee, your hair smells terrific!"

Just remember who put you here in 2012 just in case there are any hanging chads…

Joe Biden: Don't worry, I nuzzle Justice Scalia's ear all the time.

Pardon me, do you have any grey poupon?

Don't say anything about the swine flu. He hates when we do that.

Some black hair would look good on me for a change

Biden: "You know you've really made it when Rush Limbaugh says he hopes you fail."

-Wyatt Knight

You did file all of your taxes right?

I don't have to remind you that you have the right to speak.

"Hey Sonia, you wanna head out for a cheeseburger after this?"

VP Biden "I'm happy Obamachose you, but I was sure he was going to pick Judge Judy !"

"I wanted to grow up to be just like Nancy Drew when I was little, too!"

If you need any advice about what to say to the press, don't hesitate to ask me!

"Hey Sonia, have you ever partied with a Vice President?"

Carl White
Atlanta, GA

"Read the prompter and you'll be fine"

"I'm so glad they picked you and not Jennifer Granholm!" And so am I!!!

President Obama's only hesitation in nominating a woman to the Supreme Court was that he knew VP Biden would want to smell her hair.

"I'm a good Catholic girl, but go on...

Is this a good time to tell you how I brought your name up for this position?

Hey you two, let's get serious, we have a nomination going on.........

Don't forget, if anything happens to this one – I'm in charge.

If you close your eyes and hold real still, he can't see us.

Just don't compare your dog to his. He gets real sore about that, if you know what I mean.

Obama praying "Please God dont' let him be telling her that she can say what ever she likes."

I'd recommend NOT saying anything about swine flu.

Gigi from Vancouver WA

"Gee, your hair smells terrific."

I'm real fond of the freedom of speech, don't mess things up!

"Barack let me pick this one, don't screw it up!"

"Sonia, promise me that you won't let having foot-in-mouth be ruled unconstitutional...I got 2016 to think about, here."

How do you think I would look with jet black hair????

I might be the Vice President but I don't shoot people in the face.

Dont worry about their bad pronounciations.. they'll find a nick for you tooo =)

Just don't make him angry.....you wouldn't like him when he's angry.

"My wife wants me to learn the labamba...I am not sure what that is....can you help me out????"

Joe Biden just can't get enough of that new justice nominee smell

"I'm gonna need you to show me that New Yorker attitude that everyone has been talkin' about."

Hey judge.
I need your help me to get lawyer for Rep. Pelsoi, she will take apology to people!

Pssst........did you notice he (The President) didn't let me speak today and mess your moment up?

"Sonia, they tell me you are from Puerto Rico, I hear the beaches are beautiful in that part of Mexico."

Carl White
Atlanta GA

"This job just keeps on getting better...."

Heard you are from the Bronx. I LOVE "Jenny from the Block".

What ever you do, don't mention subways and airplanes.

Great Job...Great Benefits....and, oh did I mention lifetime employment?

President Obama introduces his Supreme Court nominee and declares that after weeks of background checks, interviews and thoughtful consideration, Judge Sonia Sotomayor has passed the smell test; Joe Biden decides to double-check.

"Judge Sotomayor, I want to know if I can smell American justice in you."

Mark my words, they will test you, within the next few months you will be tested.

Obamas thoughts: "what the hell is he telling her now?"
Joe Biden: "I probably shouldn't be telling you this but whenever i open my mouth is when the president is most concerned"

"Please don't make me look stupid."

Just keep your head low. Let me play the fool and let him play the saint, and everything will be fine.

Hey Sonia, wanna grab a burger with Barack & I after this is over?

"Maybe you could help me with my speech writing?"

"I hear Nancy Drew was a big influence, I prefer The Hardy Boys myself!"

Smile Judge Sotomayor, with me gone from the Judiciary Committee you don't have to worry about any 8 minute questions.

There`ll possibly be many challenges ahead...more than just us pronouncing your name correctly.

Wow, you use Pantene Pro-V, too? So does my Jill-bear.

Take it from me.... Less is more when speaking.

Trust me. Don't answer any questions about your taxes or undocumented nannies.

Don't look now, but in 4 months President Obama is almost so many gray hairs as I do.

"Just pretend they're all wearing underwear, and you'll do just fine."

"Hey, you're in. Now you can create the Latino Rule - if you're Loud and Proud, you get a one time, get-out-of-jail-card!"

I forgot your speech in the Oval Office...I can help you wing it!

"Sonia... I wish I had your job... at least you DO something!"

You make a better headrest than Barack Obama. You are just the right height for me!

"I use to read Nancy Drew all the time, myself!"

"This should be fun"

"Don't worry about the Republicans, we're running this ship now."

Did I tell you that you can get that Swine Flu from airplanes?

In an "abundance of caution," would you like to administer the president's oath of office again? I'm still not sure it took the first time.....

" . . . and if Justice Roberts asks you to pull his finger, don't."

'Don't be scared, his bark is worse than his bite... trust me. I should know.'

I hope the techs remembered to turn the microphones off until Biden is done with his so called humor. Republicans are red and Democrats are blue... (insert foot in mouth here!)

"So have you heard the one about the . . . "

Joe, " my worlds empty without you"
Sonia," someday we'll be together"
Barack, " stop, in the name of love"

Please don't forget to mention what a better job I'm doing then Dick Cheney.

Just remember to watch what you say.

"Gee your hair smells terrific."

I know the best Catholic Church in D.C. I'll hook you up.

dont make any jokes about Judge Roberts

Biden: "Just read what they wrote for you to say. Don't improvise; it always gets me in trouble."

Ay, mi cabeza!

"You know the limelight belongs to Michelle so enjoy your 15 seconds of fame."

I had my choice to be either VP, Sec of State or Supreme Court Justice. I guess you lose.

If you wanna get this thing, it's probably best to not run your mouth the way I've been doing...just smile & nod – say nice, neutral stuff...

I didn't know SuperGlue made a hair mousse.

Stick to the script. If you don't it will get you into trouble with the guy on your left. Trust me!

Obama is thinking... " what the heck is he doing now? Where is Hillary when I need her?"

Now that we have this swine flu under control, can I please.. just once.. smell your hair?

Psst....Sonia...... I just want to let you know that this is my 'real' hair and not hair plugs like everyone is saying.

Stick with me, kid. President Obama is taking us places! Hold tight to his coat tail.

Remember, if they screw up your swearing in, don't joke about it. The big guy doesn't like it.

Hey, wanna watch me put my foot in my mouth

"Don't worry ... ... ... I have trouble pronouncing that word too!"

Freshman Hazing: Biden encourages new nominee to ask President Obama if he'd like an Oath of Office do-over.

If you stick to the teleprompter you'll be fine, if you don't you'll end up like me with foot in mouth disease.

Just to be clear, it's entirely up to you what you wear under the robe.

Is today Monday or Tuesday?

"Lets put our heads together and think of a way to avoid another funny gaff"

Justina Cordova
Albuquerque, NM

Submitted again because I forgot to include my city and state (sorry:(

All right Joe, enough of the dirty jokes.

Kathy Hoffmann
Branchburg NJ

"If I were you I would stay out of confined places–don't take the subway or a commercial plane. You know, if you're in a confined courtroom and Scalia sneezes, you could catch conservatism. "

Watch out for Bill Clinton!

I love what you're wearing!

This is your 15 minutes !!! Make it Last !!!!

As VP Biden whispers in Judge Sotomayor's ear, President Obama stands nervously by, hoping she doesn't catch Biden's foot in mouth disease.

"Just remember, Barack nominated you to champion same sex marriage, that's all."

Lead off with your tax records, beat them to the punch!

Evidence that not everyone in the White House sees eye to eye with Obamas new appointee.

Judge Sonia Sotomayor blushes at Biden's compliments her. But she thought to herself...." say it don't spray it".

When I say " Do Re Mi Fa you say So La Ti Do not SOTO got it...:)

Now don't forget....your gonna take care that parking ticket for me when this goes through..... right ?

I'm just doing this to get on his nerves !!!

Wow, Sonia, your hair smells great! I wish I had enough to hold the scent of my shampoo

Don't worry about these press conferences Sonia. I've had great luck with just saying the first thing that pops into my head.

is that your real haircolor and/or can you recommend a brand for me?

Ever need any advice on dealing with the press, I'm your man! You see how well I do....

Your hair is black now, but, just wait a year....it only took Barack a few months to begin turning white like mine.

Don't believe those rumors that he was only looking for someone whose last name is as close as possible to "Souter" to save money on repainting the name on the door.

yo quiero Sotomayor

The yellow is lovely, but it clashes with my hot pink polka dots and the blue stripes.

I'm Joe' the stumbler so don't believe everything I say!

"Sonia, may I call you Sonia? Barack IS a married man, and my job does get a little lonely. Let's go out for dinner sometime."

"Meet me on the 5:15 train to Wilmington. I'll be waiting for you in the second car."

"He chose well, but I was sure he was going to pick Judge Judy !"

If they ask you anything that your don't want to answer just smile, nod and pretend your didn't hear them. Then say whatever comes to mind... It always works for me.

If your husband tells you he wants a Chalupa Supreme for dinner tonight, just smack him.

I'm your favorite, right? You can trust me, I won't tell Barack.

"Hey, girl... how do you talk so pretty in two languages?"

When this is over, I've got some "briefs" I'd like for you to look over.

Just a tip, He really likes it when you follow the prompter word for word.

This announcement came at the right time...this is when I usually tell the lauch codes.....

Joe Biden meets "face to face" with Sonia Sotomayor.

Gee Your hair smells terrific.

Now I'm regretting putting super glue on my forehead. Sticking to bright people is more really means committing yourself to it.

barack and I are ditching the press and going out for burgers, errr, taco's later. Wanna come?

With you Senora...we've got the next election in the bolso!! All the Latino's and Women's votes...aye fantastico!!

A preist ,a rabbi , and a minister walk into a bar....

"The president doesn't like when I get too close to the microphones. It makes him nervous."

Joe Biden gives Sonia Sotomayor a "face to face" pep talk before she speaks.

I am the one you see to validate your parking stub.

By the way....dont listen if my wife lets it slip that I was offered this job first...You know women cant keep secrets!

Remember to keep it short....I have to brief the media.

~Washington, DC

Biden: Guess it's a good thing being a Bronxite these days. You'd think he was a "yankee" himself, but he's from Chicago.

Warning: You're gonna be as gray as me when you're done with this job!

Your foot goes there, not the microphone...

By the way...dont listen if my wife lets it slip that I was offered this job first, you know women can't keep secrets.

Biden: Bronxites' got going on these days in Washington.

Biden: Go Yankees!

Biden whispers, "Te amo, Sonia! That means congratulations, right?"

Biden to Sotomayor, "Trust me, stick to the speech."

Remember to avoid the fist bump.

Joe Biden: "If anyone starts sneezing, follow me out of here!

Don't worry, No one knows who I am either.

Be like me.....keep it short and to the point!

I always knew that you were better than Judge Judy !!!

Hey kido! Dont mind them...I never do

"A little work on your biceps and triceps and you're WAY IN!! Trust me on this one."

Biden: If he chooses one more Bronxite to come to Washington, I'm gonna scream. What's wrong with Delawareans?

Judge Sotomoyor: Put a sock in it, Joe.

Biden: ...Oooh, That's it. I get it.

I know he said to stick with the script on the teleprompter, but take it from me - he can't do a thing about it if you don't....

Go Yankees!

Whatever you do when Obama tells you to pull his finger, don't do it

Biden: So, it really is true. The Bronx really is up! Let's go Bronx!

Did Air Force One fly around the city this time on your way to DC from JFK this morning?

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

"A little work on your biceps and you're WAY IN! Michelle said so."

Don't look now but Barack is about to turn off the teleprompter. You're going to have to wing it.

VP Biden, tell me, what's a parking ticket?

Hola mi señora

Tell me, you on facebook?

Hmmm...I'm well traveled...but, where exactly is "Soto"? I heard you were The Mayor!

Way to go, Judge Judy ain't got nothing on you, girlfriend!

(Pres. Obama, to himself): Gee, I hope he's not whispering 'sweet nothings' in her ear...

Biden: I really think that Adam Lambert kid should have won American Idol... Anything you can do about that?

- Catherine Lavoie
Montreal, Canada

Tell Obama you won't take the job if you have to fly commercial.

By the way, we have no money to pay you.

Mmmm....smells like more 'change' is in the air!

Biden: "Wow, she's still got that new justice smell".

Obama: "Joe, don't make me send you to the Cheney Cave".

I really love tacos and burritos.

"If you see anybody in a wheelchair....DON"T ask them to stand-up."

So you were mayor of Soto?

Biden: So, is it true that everyone in the Bronx walks around with a gun?

I loved you in West Side Story. I saw it twelve times.

President Obama unimpressed with VP Biden when he whispers and asks Judge Sonia, is it true that she voted for Hillary with the microphone still on !!

"Hey, you want to check out my special courtroom/ ice cream truck? Don't tell your parents!"

Hey Sotomayor, I hope you know you do this twice!

~Washington, DC

(Vice Pres. Biden): It's OK, Judge Sotomayor: You don't have to be coy with me.

Hey kido! Dont mind them…I never do

~Washington, DC

Kick me if I start to say something stupid.

(Vice Pres. Biden): Wow, you're a Federal Court judge! You know, I'd have to say FOOD court is my favorite.

Vice President Biden initiates the Vulcan mind-meld with Judge Sotomayor...........

or

Vice President Biden "you are now part of the collective........"

If you close your eyes, they can't see you anymore; but unfortunately, they can still hear what you say....

Whatever you do, don't tell them you've been avoiding public transportation.

Oh-oh. I think I was too generous in the Sedatives I gave the Vice President. Maybe if I keep clapping nobody will notice he's falling asleep.

don't look now, but I think Rush Limbaugh is jumping up and down in the back row!

"Don't worry, if you get tongue tied, I'm right here..."

"Just remember, he pardons the turkeys, but you send them to my place anyway."

Mark Garrison
Converse, TX

I'll call you SOTO from the block in da bronx

Judge Sotomayer demonstrates how to let it go in one ear and out the other while President Obama wonders what Joe is up to now.

Sonia, this is a little embarassing, but you're the hottest supreme court justice in history.

It's not fair, Barack won't let me talk to the press.

I heard about "Fist bumping" but "Forehead bumping"?

When you don't know what to say, just talk about change. So far, it's working like a charm for us!

Hey. When are you going to invite me to Puerto Rico??

Hey, tell them all it was my idea.

It's not about the white, brown or black; it's about the red, white and the blue!

Don't worry..., you'll only be making decisions that impact generations and generations to come during a time of epic world transition.

Whatever you say.. you could never put your foot in your mouth more than I do

Biden: Aren't you going to give a shout-out to your homies!

Sonia, if you get stuck, let me know. I'm here to bail you out..

Hey Sonia, what's that perfume you are wearing? To me, it smells like trouble!

"Will you be able to shut down Rush Limbaugh's radio talk show?"

So what's your name in Engish?

If you want respect, do what HE does. If you want to become a skit on SNL... step aside and watch El Maestro work his Magico.

So now do ya think that Puerto Rico will become the 51st state?

I know there are two microphones, but please don't talk out of both sides of your mouth at the same time, we are Democrats!

Mike Moles
Baton Rouge La

You could never say half as many stupid things as I have.

Please help me. He keeps me locked in the secret bunker.

Sharen Viola
Doylestown, PA

Me casa, su casa.

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday....not all who wander are lost

"Have you heard this one...a white guy, a black guy and a mexican walk into a bar.."

I had the choice to be Secretary of State, Supreme Court Justice, or Vice President. I'll bet you're glad I chose the VP spot, just like Hillary!

Arnold from San Carlos, CA

As punishment for the swine flu comment made by VP Biden on the Today Show, Joe has to show everyone that he is not afraid of the swine flu. Meanwhile, Judge Sotomayor rules to put VP Biden on the "bench" for unsolicited ad libbing...

Did you catch the game last night, how about those nuggets!

just let me take a nap right here ,wake me when this is over

Not for nothing, but I always believed that A-Rod fella was on steroids.

Hey girl, don't go off prompter and piss him off like i do!

Biden whispers, "Sonya, don't let the nickname Sauerkraut bother you, if it makes you feel better the justices called Souter, Sourpuss, Its all good natured fun, I'm the one who should be feeling bad, I'm still not iimportant enough for any term of endearment!"

If you don't step away a little, Biden, I'm going to call Judge Judy!

Sorry, Joe – the president said he'd withdraw my nomination if I let you get to the microphone

You look beautiful today. After this I'll have Hillary introduce you to Bill.