Oh Jack...you really crack me up! Thanks for the laugh! Your posts always make this blog so much better! HMM..maybe you need to do more..just sayin..LOL

But really I'd have to pass on the whole Cannes celeb thing. I just do not like celebs at all! In my opinion they are a narcissistic bunch. I'd rather spend my time with Sammy at the beach then any of them. She'd be more fun I'm sure. But she probably can be a bit bossy huh? LOL Just keeping it real!

Cindy..Ga.

Jack,

You made me giggle again, out loud, in public. Thanks!

Have a good weekend!

So Jack.. when do we get to see the picture of the Angela Lansbury tattoo?

Hi Jack, your blogs give me more out-loud laughs than any humorous writing I've ever read! Just picturing Steven Seagal decked out like a queen–LOL! Thanks so much for cheering me up. I love reading your tweets, too.

Hi Jack,
As always, you make us all laugh out loud. I look forward to your blogs and tweets and find myself quoting you! I always give you credit. : ) Have a great weekend.

Haha! I'm willing to bet that's not far off from the real events surrounding Cannes.

Jack, you r so right... well I hope another score from you... 'cause I was saying what you recently said all the days of this week... Nice!

Wow Jack,

You really do get around... & with a pretty talented crowd too!

Your life is so colourful.... & exciting ......& the locations you visit... so exotic.... I suppose you have a Palme d'Or or 2 sitting at home somewhere... cluttering up the place too?

It's a Wonderful life.

I don’t know what to say other than thanks for the funny blog, Jack. I appreciate that you take the time. You're a great guy. Have a nice weekend!

Lilibeth
Edmonds, Washington

Jack,

Busted out laughing again...and others had to look and see what you wrote...Looks like you'll be gaining some more followers...Thanks for the laughs

Perhaps those glory days are not history!!...Your the new leading man on twitter (I remember when you were at 500)...Now that your getting soo popular maybe you can score a trip to Cannes from CNN/AC360 (hint..hint) and do some coverage!!

Hi Jack:

You're article was a joy to read, I almost fell of the chair laughing.

What a great voice you gave to your great life experiences. If it's fate you are it at it's best. You're life has been a honeymoon where not even death will you part.

This article will live on forever; so will you.

I'm still stuck on the image of you in an open mouth kiss with Kathy Bates. You didn't explain whether you were both still standing up, or had tumbled to the Carpet itself. I prefer the later, I think.

Surprised the Mickey Rourke "lady" didn't get more of a shout-out from you; or did those wounds heal badly?

Enjoyed reading about your storied Hollywood career; I'm certain people are still talking about it – subpoenas or not!

Continued success to you Jack! And, thank you to the Witness Protection Progam for making that possible!

Yes to humor,yes to laughter,and a big yes to your piece! My face has become unwrinkled because of your literary medicine,...thanks

When comments like, "And regardless of whether I was – as I believe – on Sandra Bullock’s yacht, or, as the police report says, in my hotel room watching Speed 2, I regret those late-night phone calls to Rue McClanahan" come so easily to you it makes one wonder about your personal experiences....

anything with a Golden Girl reference cracks me up..funny funny!

So here I sit, stuck at home because I've been struck with Bronchitis (but hey, it's better than the "oinky bug," as my fellow editors have joked about). I'm going back and forth between checking e-mails and refreshing Twitter... Anything to not face the copy-editing I have to do for my school's newspaper. Anderson makes mention to a "good laugh" and something about a man named Jack Gray. Why not check it out, right? If only I knew what I was getting myself into.

Jack, you're a brilliant columnist. Thank you for the much-needed laugh (even though it ended in a coughing fit with the whole Bronchitis thing). It really was a great pick-me-up. Cheers to future writing!

Hey Jack, I heard that Judi Dench got big bucks for your Speedo on ebay! I also heard that she donated the money to a cause close to her heart,some thing about helping Mickey Rourke to undo all his plastic surgery.........: )

To be fair, I've found the phrase "Judi Dench just stole my Speedo" exeedingly useful and utter it at least 16 times a week.

She's voracious – I go through a lot of Speedos

Jack happy Friday
Wow you humouroso dude ! That was so funny My face hurtts from laughing so hard . Thanks for your post you are defintley hotter than Hugh Jackman .Although Anderson is a close second behind you Jack .Thanks Have a great weekend!

Michelle D.

OK – that blog had me laughing so hard I was wiping tears. VERY good, and thanks for the laugh!!

Jack you are better for me then all the vitamins I chuck down or any less then tasty healthy yucky chocolate shake. Not only are your an A-One writer, you have an off the camera humor that surly precedes you in everything you do. As I ponder daily my next tweets, your warbling tweets are inspirations and reminders to keep connected with my wildly humorous darker side. Not to mention to not be so afraid to lay some shall we say slightly kinky cards upon my table lol. Keep on tweeting and blogging for I am now depending on your for my fragile well being lol!

So, do you imagine yourself as more of a film noir or dramedy, actor? Or, maybe something foreign with subtitles that have a lot of "%$!#!" quotes in it. You'd probably have to put down the Twizzlers or hide them in your fedora, as it would be hard to work that into the film. At least you have a Cannes do attitude. I'm not sure who cares about this thing as much as or more that the actors. Have a good W/E.

thanks for the laugh in this crazy times I needed that

Another good one dude!! I laugh at loud as I stroke my freshly poofed up mini-mini french poodle Fru Fru, on our yacht docked in Cannes getting stupidly drunk....wishing you were here Jack. (joking)

Jack you're a genius. Love the way you look at things. So funny. I've seen the Mickey Rourke woman. Good call. I once saw Betty Davis in San Francisco.

I can ALWAYS count on you to make me laugh..... I have given up having any liquids around my pc when reading your blog or tweets. Thanx as always for the smiles & cheering up.

I am still thinking of you getting affection at the airport security check !!

Haha!
Great blog Jack! Always love your sense of humor.:)

Jack, why does someone always have to be hand feeding you twizzlers? Isn't it about time you learned to eat those by yourself?

You're so funny Jack! Happy Friday. Right now I'm melting marshmallows for some rice crispie treats. Yum – don't worry, I'll have one for you. I look forward to your next post. Hope you have a good day and a nice weekend.

Man, you get more surreal every time you blog! What the hell is in those Twizzlers anyway? If I were you, I'd stay well away from those plants Sammy's cultivating in your back yard. Which reminds me of a story over here last week, about a lady who only realised she was living next door to a cannabis farm when her dog started pestering her to go and buy family sized packs of Doritos at three in the morning. I should mention that I'm still waiting for that topless picture of you, just for comparison purposes between you and the lovely Hugh. I'll return the favour if you like, but I will win the 'who has the bigger boobs' and 'who has the hairiest chest' contests, hands down. Like you, I'm desperate for a date, it's been a long time and I figured that maybe I was a bit too choosy. So all it will take now is for a guy to have his own hair and teeth. And a pulse. On that note, I'm off to place my lonely hearts ad in the window of my local old folks home. Enjoy your weekend, everyone and don't forget if you're following Jack on the Twitter (and who isn't these days?), then head on over to the Facebook and join our merrie little band of Gray Groupies! Peace out x x

It's never too late to go back, Jack. The French Riviera calls. I'm sure you can get into another Speedo. After all, you eat Twizzlers, only one gram of fat per serving. Have you tried the rainbow twists (six different fruity flavors)? Yum. Give Sammy a hug for me; she is probably the only one who will ever paw-feed you Twizzlers.

Cannes is where day dreams have sub-titles.
Great read today. Very tongue-in-chique.

Too many visuals for me this go 'round Thanks for the laughs as I'm decompressing from the job from hell (that will be over in seven days).

Brilliant as usual. Why doesn't he have have his own show?! I'm looking at you, CNN.

Jack – you definitely need your own show – Why don't we ever see you on 360???

Jack

Funny as usual.....I loved your Steven Segall description although when I first read it I thought you might be describing the return of Elvis. I really think you should talk to Will Smith and see if another Men in Black movie could be made – you are just perfect for it and since the Tommy Lee Jones character "retired" from the service there is a convenient opening for you. I bet you could not only star in that movie with Will but write it as well. As Will said in the first movie – You will make that suit look good.

Have a great weekend and keep the laughs coming.

Funny stuff as always, sir. The Steven Seagal crack made me laugh out loud. Have a great weekend, buddy! <3

Thanks for the laughs Jack. I think I would rather spend time in Larry King's green room than Cannes..

Jack I'm amused by all the people you've amused...

Once again Jack gives back! I so appreciate and enjoy your sense of humor.

I'm seeing a weekly (Friday) spot on AC360. Jack Cafferty is on a more serious note. Jack Gray will brighten up our weekend.

Keep your humor coming. Your fans like it and if truth be told, they also need it.

Have a good one.

Jack, dahling, you were (almost) a welcome presence at Cannes in those days. Except for your penchant for throwing tantrums when the latest starlet du jour brought you the wrong color of Twizzlers. Really, that sort of language should only be reserved for Christian Bale movies. But then, you've always been SO unpredictable, you naughty man!

(And just between you and moi, Sean Connery confided in me that he vastly enjoyed the aqua experience. The man has, er, hidden depths, so to speak.)

Ciao!

Having spent a year trying to find a good movie... the festival should be renamed....No,We Can't. hoping for a better year cinematically ...

So when is Anderson gonna come out of the closet? Not to be rude but everyone in the known Universe already knows he's gay.