Hey, great Funny! haven't laughed like that for a week`

Oh my...now thats the funniest take on Star Trek I've seen yet. I'm definitely a Star Trek fan...If I start seeing visions of Lou Dobbs in my Star Trek reruns..It's all your fault Jack Gray! LOL

on a wet wednesday when my washing machine has packed up, my four kids are whining for more food, and suze orman sits on my shoulder twittering at me not to spend any more money, Jack is the only one who can make me laugh. thanks for your twitters and your blogs, and for reminding us all that life is funny.

live long and prosper, jack gray.

You know Jack..I never cared much for Captain 'Jirk ' myself..He thought he was all that..Star Trek TNG was much more my style.They were all so humane to each other..Nice : ) And that Data: I'm a sucker for a smart man! *swoons*. You should know though,that along with Sam Donaldson and Spock,I have spotted Florence Henderson and your grandfather together!Looks like they all meet for coffee and then go hair shopping at the same place.Just thought you might want to know......: )

I love all your blogs, but this one in particular had me laughing out loud in my office. I'd prefer if you'd sleep less and write more. Thanks!

Ah, my Jack Gray fix for the day...now I can stop shaking and get on with life...

Love it Jack, you have done it again. Just write more and more often.

I use to watch Star Trek Generation. It was good back in the day, but I don't watch Star Trek stuff anymore. Not really interested in seeing the movie either.

Funny blog today. I didn't know Full House was Star Trek's spin off series. Explains a lot.lol

Hilarious piece. I'm sure an army of Klingons are heading towards your door to destroy you.

(.(.(..).).)

They are coming to get you.

What is with all these prequeals of tv and sci-fi shows. I feel these back tracking is ridiculous stuff

I'm laughing so hard I'm starting to cry.

Good piece....enjoyed it.....Y....nice.

Hi Jack
Great post again! I nominate you for funniest blogger on CNN no objections from Anderson are allowed . I I never really watched the old star trek with Willaim Shanter or Lenoard Nimoy but the Next Genration series i watched not the same but i'm not a trekkie . I would have loved the spoof that you wrote ,seriously writ the pilot maybe it will be picked up -ha!

Live long and prosper !
Jack
Michelle D.

Jack – I'm one of your faithful Twitter follower and I have to say, you make my day. For a friend's 50th we're going to see Star Trek Saturday.

Jack, just a word of advice. If you are ever offered the chance to beam down with Capt. Kirk to another planet while wearing the red jersey of a security guard, run, don't walk the other way. Otherwise your will be killed within the first 30 seconds of the episide by an amorphous blob resembling Rosanne Barr.

Jack, you need to write a book. You are so witty! I always look forward to what you have to say!. I also follow you on twitter..LOVE YOU

Funny stuff!! Thanks for summing up the whole Star Trek phenomenom for someone who has never seen it

Hi, Jack!

So, did you never "stick one's neck out where nobody
ever been before" in the "final frontier" of space?

Excellent post!

Congratulations and thank you!

As an original Trekkie, having seen the entire, if limited, original series in its debut performance, virtually my entire conscience is based upon the wisdom of Gene Roddenberry's "First Law" basically an insistence on noninterference and, if necessary, no contact at all with newly emergent species encountered along the way.

None of the spin-off series lived up to the original, and certainly not up to the cheesy set decoration! Will.i.am Shat.t.ner (the way he would poronounce it) was glorious in his day.

You would do well to treat Sammy with a little more respect. The crew of the Enterprise encountered a number of species who seemed to be dogs; and weren't.

Live long and prosper, Jack. And look into Pon Far.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't get your column. What does it have to do with the title? Are you providing a review for the upcoming movie? Have you seriously never seen an episode of Star Trek?

I guess I don't understand what part of your column is actually funny. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a die-hard Trekkie by any stretch of the imagination. Still, I just don't see the point of what you've written.

Jack, have you given the original Star Trek series a try? Check it out–one of the best TV series ever made, not like other SciFi at all. The series made after are no good, though. Don't know about this new movie; I might see it, the actors seem interesting, but will be hard to live up to chemistry of the originals.

If you're home alone and laughing out loud you know you're reading something written by Jack Gray.

That was really witty and funny. Good stuff!! I loved the info on the new movie starring Kathy Gifford and Nicolas Sarkozy. I'm still laughing my ass off!

Lost in Space the tv series was way better than Star Trek..oh and V – do you remember that show where they were like lizards? but that was kinda scary, whereas LIS was much cooler and mischevious.

I only used to watch ST in order to watch Dr Spock's ear's.

Hi Jack, I’m not a big fan (I know, what’s wrong with me?), but I have co-workers who are trekkies and they even go to the conventions. Then they come back to work and tell me all about it, and I pretend to listen. Do you have people like that at your work, Jack? I don’t have anything against Star Trek; I just don’t make a big deal of it. If it makes them happy, then that’s great. Take care,

Lilibeth
Edmonds, Washington

This is by far, my favorite blog so far. I laughed, cried and I even peed my pants a little bit.

[I am a Trekkie as you may (or perhaps in your case may not) be able to deduce from my oh so subtle email address.]

LLAP \V/

I've never enjoyed Star Trek...

until today.

You did it, Jack. Yes, you did.

Now I feel like walking up to the Leonard Nimoy theater on the Upper West Side and pay homage... My Google alert went off surprisingly went off after reading this.

LOL @ Jack Gray!!! Yeah, I never got Star Trek either. Even though Spock's pointy ears, weirdly spooky slanty eyebrows turned me on (no not really), the theme kinda got old. Why were there were so many enemies in the galaxy to fight and conquer? Were there no cute, cuddly, fluff ball creatures out there to join forces with?

I always hoped that Captain Kirk and his mates would crash into an island like Jamaica where they would learn to take off those tight, shiney, way-too-short-pants and learn to relax on a white sandy beach drinking out of coconuts.

Kirk and the boys would spend their time working on their tans, playing guitar around bonfires and climbing up palm trees like Keith Richards did (well, without falling on their head). Just one episode of them chillin' was all I was asking. Ahhhh I can hear the island music in the background now...

Call me Jack Gray if you want to write this episode together and put it on YouTube. I have a way-too-short skirt and huge, up-do wig ready to go!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!

Veronika

Totally brilliant, Jack! There's no doubt you will probably get "hate-mail" from those who don't understand humour at it's best . Keep up the good writing! Love it!

Now ok, I am from the Star Trek re-run generation. I have also seen the movies that had the original cast...KHAAAAAAAAAAN! Righteous!
BUT, I did not ever watch the Captain Picard, etc... Star Trek. 7 of 9, so on and so forth.
This "version" is basically the "Twink" installment. (Young tweeny fueled actors. )
However, I will wait to rent. Star Trek is boldly going where it belongs, summer movie Hall of Fame and boosting careers of young up and coming Hollyweird talent.

XXO ♥

Love the comment about the HIlls And so agree with it. Thank you for the great laugh!!!

Hats off! Cheers to you!

I'd even be willing to hear your negative opinion on a show I like because I know you'd make me laugh:)

Finally, my opening! What I mean is, I have been waiting for quite some time to mention this, but it never seemed to be the right time. So, thanks, Jack for the topic of Star Trek and it's characters.

Now, don't laugh, but does anyone else notice the resemblance Anderson has to Spock? LOL! No, really, don't they look somewhat alike? Particularly about the ears. Or is just me? I've always want to that. And that's not a dis. Spock was always my favorite because he's so smart. Or maybe it was the ears. I don't know, but there, I said it. Whew! Finally, a load. LOL!

So, Spock had the same haircut for well....ever? Isn't Star Trek about variety? I was expecting perhaps, a side part or at best or perhaps long hair in a ponytail?

I guess the bowl cut shows off his awesome ears.

P.S.: That would be Leonard Nimoy's "Spock." I have never seen any other Star Trek, beside the originals.

OHHHHHH boy Jack! I think you may be in for a war with Trekkies! Very funny, but oh boy!!!
Thanks for making me laugh! I'm sure if Anderson lets you come over, you will find a pair of Star Trek pj's in his house.
May the force be with you, oh wait, that's another sci fi movie!

Hi Jack,
You're funny! I like Star Trek and enjoy watching it. Of course, my favorite movies are all sci-fi flicks. Star Wars, Back to the Future, ET, Close Encounters, etc. Not sure about my facination with Smokey and the Bandit though (one of my all time favorites).....?????.....I know all the lines by heart. It's crazy. Hey, hope you're having a good week. Take care, talk to you later.

Star Trek saved Christmas?
The whole thing =very funny.
Thanks.

You think we should call up Eddie Murphy he is a treky

Jack.. URG!! my partner is a MAJOR sci-fi viewer AND reader. I finally got to the point where I buy the dvd's, download it to IPOD and it's packed to view and enjoy at 30,000 ft. (weekly bi-coastal flights) I've seen enough of it by passive watching or forced "you'll like this one" shows that I followed everything you said, and had to run to the can so I wasn't relegated to wearing a Depends. Hillarious stuff, man. Keep it coming.

Have to admit, don't know how it happened, but I liked Farscape and was bummed when it stopped.

Damn, man.. where'd ya find the tylenol gear? LMAO

Gil-chill out man

Jack–keep these hilarious blogs coming...they make my day everyday O_o

I saw a screening of Star Trek last weekend, and enjoyed it despite having never seen a full show. And I drooled over Spock, that dude is a fox.

Ummmm.... I was thinking you were trying to be funny. But I didn't laugh, chuckle or even smirk while I read your "Article". Better luck next time.

Ohhhhh, I am envisioning the nerdy hate mail right now!

I don't consider myself a "Trekkie" even though I have been a fan since the beginning, ST-TNG being my favorite. Your take on all things Star Trek is one of the funniest pieces I have read of late and I am not offended at all. I bet Wil Wheaton and Brent Spiner (both on Twitter) would be laughing along with me right now!

Your post was loaded with movie spoilers for sure, but at least you didnt let slip about Ashton Kutcher and the tribbles–

woops, never mind, nothing to see here..

You know, Jack, I've never seen Star Trek either...but thanks for catching me up! and I can relax well this weekend knowing that I'm not missing much in not getting to the movie!

Oh and as aside, I am already picking up vibes of nerdy wrath right here in this thread (I can say that. I'm a nerd too! Don't stab me with your pocket protectors.. please!!!)

Live Long and Prosper Jack! I love all the stuff you post on Twitter and on this blog. I've been a Star Trek fan for years and love this piece you wrote!
~Cecilia
Twitter: ceecee52

I saw the original series once when I was a child, and I didn't get it then. Don't really get it now either. I think your blog post about summed up my feelings toward the entire franchise, but with much sharper sarcasm.

. Enjoyed this tremendously. CNN & YOU make coming on Twitter worthwhile!!! Thanks for the Great Humor! You have got to get published

Hiya Jack..um, I've never seen this Star Trek you speak of..By reading your blog I kinda got an idea of what the show was about..Did it also involved Bob Saget being a clean freak? lol
Yet, another funny blog..I look forward to your blogs..puts a smile on many ppl's face..Thanx..

I love all things Star Trek - including this blog.

Jack, you can't tell me you never saw any shows if you know about the Vulcan – Klingon dance-off. It was pon-far night at the Borg assimilation club, doncha remember?

And don't forget that BOTH Sam and Spock's hair was donated by Captain Picard, who lost a shave-off bet with the Grand Negus.

And I'll bet your Sammy would love to knock back some margaritas with a Tribble or two.

Resistance is futile.

Job well done Mr. Gray. I'm not a fan of Star Trek either....try not watch any science fiction. But, your commentaries makes me giggle even though i know that most of it do not represent the Movie. I am, however will watch this episode , when it gets to DVD....don't know if I can sit through a .......fiction for a couple of hours; it'll take me a few days. Iawait your next blog for a good laugh....make it good day.

@jackgraycnn,

Yet another fabulous blog (or should I say "borg"?)! This is just what I needed to make it thru this crazy, crazy Wednesday.

Thanks, Jack!

Hahahaha! This had me laughing like a loon. All my workmates think I've lost my mind. It's probably an improvement.

Great blog entry. Thanks for the laugh.

Live long and prosper, Jack.
@ramonediaz

A classic, as always Jack. Has anyone ever told you that you'd look cute in vulcan ears?

OK. The Trek baby speaks. I grew up watching the original series with my dad over the years, watched TNG in college, and still am a fan. Two of my college TNG buddies and I are going see the new movie this weekend just to compare notes. The original series was written to show that people from different walks of life could learn to get along. It was very appropriate for its day and time. It's still relevant today. A new generation of fans to keep the money making machine going is never a bad thing...

Don't lie Jack, don't lie- you know you ordered a Tribble from thinkgeek and it's on your desk right now!

PS Ron Popeil is the best!

I must be getting old or am I part Vulcan? I failed to see the realy humor.

I Don't Like Frickin' Sci-Fi Either Jack!
Something we have in common as well as canine drug addicts. I'm still looking for the Lassie Rehab Center for my Granddog. It is getting old trying to explain to my Physican why I keep running out of xanax.
Anywho, I am not a Treker but I AM a William Shatner fan. Don't you just love a gun toting vegan?
Psst, I have a little crush on Denny Crane. I want him to make a woman out of me in MY foyer while I do something kinky like eat twizzlers.
I'll probably get around to seeing the new Trek movie but give me time!
I just rented Doubt and and still waiting to find someone who recorded HBO's Grey Gardens (hint, hint)
You know Jack, You have to understand something about Texas.
Not only do we have to dodge bullets, we have to dodge the law enforcement too. I am refering to the crooked mess in Tenaha Which is just up the road a piece from Nacogdoches. Thank God for attorney and friend David Guillory. We must move araound "gingerly" so as not to loose our jewelry to the police!
Poor David. He is really ticking off all the officers around here. Pretty soon he will need Denny Crane.
Thanks for the "hoot and holler" today.
You are FAB Jack!
XO's and Tail Wags,
@BettyAnnTX

After living with and marrying a trekkie. I LOVE this blog. My husband and I constantly joke about the "space hookers" from the original star trek. Kirk didn't hate.. he loved them all. lol Too bad he never came across a preying mantis like species and got eaten.. that would have been worth listening to his over dramatic acting. No wonder spock was so monotone.. to make up for the extra EMO from the capt.
Keep the blogs coming. gives me a laugh every time.

I think you are hilarious Jack! Love your blogs. . .

This made my day!

Scotty was great, he always beamed them up just in time, and he always fixed the warp drive just in time. And was consistantly on the bridge exclaiming, "she can't take much more of this captain!" (Which, before reading this very funny and informative blog, I had always assumed was in reference to the enterprise ship).

Anderson must keep you out of sight during his show. You can tell he thinks you're hilarious and so do I. I'll never be able to think of star trek again without thinking of Lou Dobbs and Sam Donaldson!

lol your blogs are always great to read , keep up the great work

Jack, As always you rock. Thanks for ending a very stressfull day with a laugh. Keep up the good work and tweets.

Hilarious Mr Gray; Best take I've read in a long time. Thanks for a laugh. Mr. Shatner also amuses ; I find his every incarnation intriging.

Jack

I'm a trekkie – the original show type with Nimoy and Shatner, Scotty and McCoy (he's dead Jim). You should try to watch some of the original shows – they are campy at best now but still fun. (I think Nick at night has them on).

I do think Anderson looks a lot like Mr. Spock, especially in the ears. If they were just a little bit more pointed he'd be almost a perfect match (Silver Vulcan Fox?). He has the serious face Spock used and he can lift his eyebrows to convey different expressions. Until his ears get more pointed though he looks like an Irish leprechaun. And no, there weren't any of those on Star Trek.

Funny post. Live long and prosper. Or maybe in these hard economic times I should say Live long and break even.

OK, I am laughing more than I should be on a rainy morning! As one who grew up with the original series, I was probably the only fan in my circle of fellow Trek-watchers who loved Dr. McCoy. DeForest Kelley was an absolute darling in my eyes, with his recurrent disclaimers: "I'm a doctor, not a...!"

Loved this entry!

Hey Jack and everyone! I'm blogging from what has been my sick bed for the last day or two. Don't want to get too graphic, but I had a bad case of Klingons on the starboard bow.. Enjoy your dinner peeps x

The post made me laugh and cringe! I can't wait to see the new movie and I hope you do to Mr. Gray, just so you can see what the fuss is about!

Unfortunately, I got stuck watching this show several times but parts of it are hilarious (whether intentional or not.) Yes, there's the Vulcan salute, but there's also the corny, telepathic, mind-meld. Two brains become one through skull massage & frequency. Hopefully, you'll never hear those now famous lyrics,"What's the frequency, (Jack)?"

LOL!!!!! I love Star Trek (the original) but this was hilarious.

Oh Jack! I love you, I really do!

Hi Jack: So you are not a "trekkie" eh? Well, whenever I say "Beam me up, Scotty", it means give me a shot of Jim Beam fast! Of course, Scotty, being the name of my favorite bartender.....afteralll how else are we to deal with the fact that there really is “no intelligent life down here”. At least in my world, there isn't....

It really didn’t occur to me but after thinking about it, I do agree with some of the other bloggers, Anderson does look a bit like Spock!

Thanks for blogging today!