Tom Foreman | Bio
Reporter’s Note: Our President has asked for ideas about how to run the government. No doubt many citizens are writing, and I am nothing if not a slave to fashion; therefore I am sending a letter a day to the White House.
Dear Mr. President,
No matter how much trouble the economy is in, no matter what problems are boiling on the border, no matter which nut you have writing letters to you every day, you can always count on the North Koreans for a few good laughs.
I’m not just talking about Kim Jong-il’s haircut, although I have to admit that is funnier than Bernie Madoff running naked through a car wash. Nor is it that droll practical joke he plays from time to time by letting his people nearly starve to death. Nope, I’m referring to this missile he’s pushed out to the launch pad. And I guess I have to admit, it’s not that funny.
The dauntless Mr. Kim’s government says “Hey, this is just a satellite launch. Relax. Smoke ‘em if you’ve got ‘em.” But no one seems to be buying that. The betting line holds that the “satellite” is a cover for the big NK figuring out if it could hit someone with a missile-borne weapon. Uh, like us, for example. The missile in question is suspected of being able to reach Hawaii or Alaska. (No giggling. I know you and Sarah Palin have your differences, but this is serious.)
The international community, as you know, is all in a kerfuffle over this, especially since the UN Security Council warned North Korea about such shenanigans. I think it went like this, “If you kids test one more missile, I’m pulling this planet over and there will be hell to pay!” And of course, your Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, is calling it a “provocative act.” I think she’s wrong. A provocative act is what Britney Spears does.
Japan seems to be the nation most directly considering just shooting this missile down, but I know you have to be talking that option over with your Pentagon pals. I can’t imagine how that feels; actually contemplating that with a word, you can direct the military to strike another nation, or at least one of its potential weapons.
Still, I suspect you should not delay the decision on what your reaction will be. This is one of your first real international tests, and you don’t want to be caught still making up your mind, when Mr. Kim finally finds some matches and lights the fuse.
Call me if you get a moment. Don’t use the red phone.
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