Soon it won’t matter when he leaves his fly open like that!

The mess I’m leaving for Obama is t-h-i-s Big!

I’m this far away from life on the ranch!

Only 48 more days and I’m still thissssss popular.

Saddleback!? Oh, I am so relieved you didn’t say ‘brokeback’!

I wouldn’t lie in Saddleback Church. I tell ya’ the fish i caught was thissss big.

Look Honey, I am rising to the occasion at hand!

The lies we told were only this big!!!!!!

Well, Laura and I are just fine. No health issues for us.

Yeah, that whole WMD thing was like telling a tale that you caught a goldfish “this” big down in the creek.

Maura
Los Gatos, CA

I came this close to being America’s greatest president

In Texas, this is how we shoot ‘em up if they get out of line!

Well, George! I’ll ride “Shotgun” tonight!

Look Mom, No hands!

On Jaunuary 21st when I am down in Crawford, I’m gonna shoot my pistols in the air like this.

Well, George! I’ll ride “Shotgun” tonight!

Jennifer
Raleigh, NC

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it 1000 times. When I talk about war, I’m really talking about peace. . . and good health.

The Saddleback forum calls for Bush’s guns blazing cowboy impression.

President Bush describes to reporters the size of crow he is now having to eat.

“George, wake up, you’re having your “I can spin a basketball on my fingers”-dream again!”

This gun totting cowboy is no lame duck, ya hear!

” It’s not healthy to be a pig with lipstick, um or a pitbull with lipstick, or a dipstick like me!”

“Hail to the chief! And don’t ever forget it!”

This windshield cowboy is this ready to get back to the ranch.

I want to share my heart-healthy recipe with all of you today. It’s called “Texas Dumbo.”

One two three everybody sing with me.I had the whole world in my hands.

Yawl can say what you want, but I was this close to finding those weapons of mass destruction!

I’m goin’ out all guns blazing, y’all!

I was the Prez for eight years and made a mess this big!

“So, Dick Cheney and I decided we’d take a gun in each hand like this, and go blazing into Iraq”

Yeah, that’s right. I was unprepared for war! Impeach me why don’t you!

‘And I told Barack, “Keep your head in the clouds and reach for Mars” or something like that.’

You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out, you do the hokey pokey and you shake it all about!

President Bush discusses how he makes up for his intellectual shortcomings.

Actually, the pretzel I choked on was this big.

Poor George, he never did master the Vulcan hand sign for “Live Long and Prosper”. Oh well, one out of two aint bad!

This is how I do my Beyonce dance sitti’n down

I missed being the worst president of all time by this much.

Carmen, Toronto

Just like Palin, POW POW

I was this close to making America believe me.

“George, the counting to 11 joke is not that funny anymore.”

I will not point my finger at anybody for recent events lest I have three pointing back at me.

Heck..I was just doin what Dick Cheney told me to do. How was I supposed to know he wasn’t really in charge?

“You are kidding me. Biden did not make the cabinet picks? Cheney told me that was the V.P.’s job.”

I am very healthy….as long as I stay away from pretzels.

“…and that, my friends, is how its done… oh! We were talking about the global health? I’m sorry. I thought we were talking about power napping”

Laura notices George is still taking his Cialis.

George W is saying, “In a few short months I’m gonna be more civil, saddleback, and get this fat, dumb and happy.”

“War, a billion: a month. The econcomic crises: 3 trillion. For everything
else there’s master card.”

I know I know, I just gave up….It’s not MY MONEY!

The mess I made is about this big, but it’s Obama’s problem now!

President Bush flaps his arms and quacks, doing his best impression of a lame duck.

Hold on, I’ll have to meditate on that: Ahrrrrr

Caption:
“I had an interesting medical case after speaking to Congress – I tell you that Red-tape-worm was this long.”

“I have to hold my arms like this when Laura rolls yarn into balls.”

Then I told Laura one this big, and she believed me, so I thought, “I can tell the American people a few whoppers, and they’ll believe me too.”

This is the size of my credibility.

Hey, You can impeach me now or never!

“I tell you what…I am good at ’stupid human tricks’.”

i only had a few tonight.but soon.
i can drink the whole 12 pack.

Even the White House is bigger in Texas.

Yep, Laura, looks like we’ve caused enough trouble in this here town. It’s time to saddle up and mosey on outta here.

My rootin’ , tootin’, shootin’, cowboy administration has CHANGED THE WORLD!! ! H EE, HAW!!! Try and top that, Obama!!!

Running Springs, CA

I had a dream… a six-shooter in each hand, my white Stetson on my head, my ol’e paint under me, and the open range of Texas in front of me. Go’in Home Again!

Yes i will go on the right-wing open-mic tour next year.

Definition of good health is if you can knock back a beer and a TEXAS MICKEY this BIG

Laura had this much cake on our daughter’s wedding day

Irving, Texas

The economy is this much worse than it was when I became president 8 years ago.

Quick, one of you pull my finger! Ohhhhhhh… too late!

“So I said, Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wallpaper.”

Let me explain inflation using my belly.

I am ready for my wax effigy- “mission decomplished”

Dubya doing his impression of the state he’s leaving the economy in… “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!”

What can I say, the Presidency was a no brainer.

All the mavericks in the house, put your hands up!

Bush’s response to every question the same: “Too much turkey.”

When asked what he’ll do until the end of his term, Bush says “The same thing I did for the last 8 years…nothing”.

So I told my daddy I had four more year than he did and the damn fool slapped me.

“If I had the chance to do this President thing over again….this is how much I would do different, hee hee hee!”

“The problem of healthcare in the U.S.? It’s about this big!”

Put your hands up for Detroit.

Tim Gibson
San Diego, CA

I’m this much uneloquent.

“Wow. I came this close to him. He said just call me Barack.”

The crisis I left behind is not that bad, its only about……oh God…. this big!?

the lies i told about WMD was about this big!!!

“They say, ‘If it is written then it must be true’. And there it was in big letters…MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.”

Five….fivedollar….five dollar foot long!

“I like ‘em green apple ones the best.”

Ahhhhh, I had to release my belt buckle, it was such a good Thanksgiving…

President Bush tells his favorite fish story once again yesterday in Washington, DC.

I never felt better in my life than when I caught a salmon this long!

Laura told me that “Retirement” is, a very very long word.

Well heck, I thought playing Risk with Dick and Laura every night would prepare me for war…

Take 3, No George, its a $5 dollar foot long….Cut!

“So, I said to Obama, there ain’t enough room for the two of us in this White House. It’s all yours!”

What? We don’t have “Global” Health problems in “US”.

Laura and I are doing the disco dancing about leaving here soon.

“…so I says to him, if that damn Wolff Blitzer wants a piece of me he can come get it….”

President Bush indicates how much longer he thinks the recession will last.

After eight long years George Bush gets ready for the “snoozeum.”

Cameron Cox
Winnipeg, Canada

Lara Bush: “Oh honey you and I both wish!”

Every time I stretched, I heard this strange crumbling noise all around me.

“Lemme get this straight. You want me to do the Finger to Nose Test? You know how many times I’ve done this?”

President Bush prepares for his next job…replacing “M” in The Village People with “Dubya.”

Speaking on health issues, all citizens should try the Subway $5 dollar foot longs, there Humongous…

Anyone up for paper football?

The world is BIG, and more complexicated every day.

I’ve got a headache this big, and the only cure is more cowbell!

“I’m the most rootenest, tootenest, cowboy in all the land, yee haw”

Another Bush Fish tale:
“I swear…, it was this big!”

“Two words sum up my presidency: ‘Mission Accomplished!’”

Mr. President, how would you best describe your foreign policy in mime?

I’ve never felt more healthy, wealthy or wh.. wha .. what was that last bit?

Ahhhhhhhhhh it is almost over.

If there’s one thing I learned as President, it was how to properly pronounce the word ‘nuclear,’ and I’m very proud of my accomplishment.

George Bush doing his impression of John McCain.

Cameron Cox
Winnipeg, Canada

Laura Bush : I can’t wait to see u taking off your pant in a live music show

Bush shows how many of his policies Obama will probably reverse.

‘I most humbly accept this medal of honor. Golly, the last medal I got was the one Condoleezza had made for me out of a small piece of aluminum tubing she was able to lay her hands on.”

Mr. President, which way do you predict the stock market will go once you are out of office?

Ok…………..we didnt find any weapons of mass destruction, but at least we caught saddam

The economy must be in trouble when your President takes a job as the spokesman for Subway and the $5 Foot Longs.

President Bush recreates the: “unbuckle the belt buckle, lean back in your seat, rip-roarin post-Thanksgiving meal belch” that has become a Bush family tradition.

“I support any health plan that can fix a lame duck.”

Give me a break, i have a life too.

Ah! It’s about time I was recognized as a liberator. Mission accomplished!

After the Presidency, I’ll eat til my waist is 80 inches

i veto’d the last health bill that was about this long..

Wait a minute! All this time I been sayin museum?? Why didn’t someone ever correct me?

“My eye sight is 20/20, but my IQ is 11. Is that good?”

This is a preview of how the former Pres. Bush is going to look kicking back.

Laura Bush hopes to validate her husband’s claim.

Well there was Iraq on this hand and Afghanistan on this hand if I invaded Iran I’d have to use my feet!

I can’t wait until January when Barack takes over… then it’s just me and the ranch… POWPOW.

I’m tellin’ ya, I wasn’t ready! You think I’m making excuses?!

Happy to know I will part of Obama’s history presidency…I was his predecessor!

This marks the inauguration of my new Dictionary. Words ranging from Nuculer to Newseum.

Gun totting cowboy impression in front of an “International Medal of Peace” sign. Priceless.

Laura B — “Brag on Big-Boy”.

How does that “I’m not a crook thing” go again?

I confess… I campaigned for McCain but I voted for Obama!

Hey folks, see – no paunch!!!

I’m still in the saddle,but I only fire blanks.

Hoo-ah!–are you finally listening to me?

Cindy
Riverview, MI

Bush’s response to the global crisis: Throw your hands up like you just don’t care.

“Just in case you may have forgotten who I am, the name’s George “W” Bush and the “W” is spelled like this!”

Laura is amused while George W. prepares for a skit on SNL.

Panic attacks, Me? Nah!!! I don’t think so

Cindy
Riverview, Mi

“…and a haaapy new year!”

I’m going to spend a lot of time on Social Security.

Got your tickets?! Welcome to the George Bush’s Guns show!

AHhHhHh, this Saddleback massage chair is awesome, it makes my voice all jiggly, AHhHhHhHh…

Sorry folks, but the hardest thing about the presidency was the WHOLE THING!!!!!!!

“They tell me the number of digits in our national debt are this many.”

and then I said, it doesn’t matter if I’m not popular, I’ll still make millions in speaking fees.

I said it once, I’ll say it again… Mission Accomplished!

President Bush does his best impersonation of Sarah Palin “gettin all mavericky.”

On January 20th, 2009 this little cowboy’s gonna get…W-A-S-T-E-D!

I didn’t say Simon says.

Check it out, I just learned how to make a W with my arms.

“Who got elected without knowing a thing? Who got re-elected without doing a thing? Who ran our country into the ground? This guy did!”

I would have to say I’ve left america with a headache about this big.

Well, our Thanksgiving turkey was THIS big — and I’m STILL feeling drowsy!

Yee Haw…I’m on my way to Crawford!

I was hopin’ to get Bin Laden with these……….

I would have to say I’ve left america with a headache about this big.

This is how much I don’t care about the uninsured/underinsured citizens who pay for my health care benefits.

Global warming!!–that’s a good one, Laura–thay’s just a fiction dreamed up by Democrats!!!!!!!

Bush advises the group that his best health tip is to get lots of sleep and don’t even think about answering the phone at 3am!

Yeah soon I’ll be able to kick back in my boots with the little woman and relax, Texas style.

Ok stop me if you’ve heard THIS one .. Obama, Hillary, Sarah Palin and my dog Barney walk into a bar ..

Hunny, your memoir is going to sell this much…after I fall off this chair, dust myself off and try again…

I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and wise….

YUP honey! My vacation in the white house is about to end! THANX FOR THE MEMORIES AMERICA! WAAHOOO LOOSSEERRSS!

The only reason I signed for the unemployment benefit extension is because I’ll be unemployed in 50 days!

My presidential library at University of Texas will be facing the football stadium, I posed like this for “Touchdown Bush”

Everything’s bigger in Texas, isn’t that right Laura . . . . even the nation’s problems!

I Have a solution to this mess

I can’t wait till the new crew shows up, then they will know how hard this really is!

Yep. Did it all with just these two little ol six-shooters, hee hee

Sarah Palin told me you have to lead the moose by this much when on a helicopter hunt.

Actually, my favorite part of the presidency was riding in Air Force One.

Unless I hear from the big man upstairs, i’m not doin’ it!

Bang, bang, ….. Wink, Uncle Dickie says I can be in charge for the next six weeks.

HEY DICK ” WHERE’S MY MISSION ACCOMPLISHED SIGN”

No I haven’t had anything to drink, just watch me touch my nose!

Recession, 2 wars, bankrupted the country AHHHHH who da man!!!

I’ve got the whole world in my hands!!

“I may not be a maverick but I’ll always be a cowboy!”

Retirement ? Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride !

“Its saturday night live”

It aint over till the fat lady sing, and right now she is about this big

“Laura told me I shoulda entered these into the gun show.”

“I came this close to winning in Iraq before my term is up.”

Carlsbad, Ca.

Oh dear Lord, I can’t believe he’s doing his bedroom victory dance on this show.

“Obama isn’t even the president yet and he’s already done this much more than I have in the last 8 years”.

Good health is like good fishing, the bigger they are the better you feel.

I keep reminding Laura that I am still the boss.

While President George W. Bush participates in the Saddleback Civil Forum on Global Health at the Newseum yesterday, he suddenly breaks out in the song “Happy Trails to You”

No, no – see THIS is what I look like when Dick pulls on those puppet strings…

Look honey, after that “pork” I ate for Thanksgiving, my pants don’t close!

……and this little piggy is going allllllll the waaaaaaaaay home

Define my presidency in one word…….Touchdown!……Uh no that’s two words isn’t it Laura..

Now I can happily retire letting Obama to struggle around my 8 year mess.

No, no – see THIS is what I look like when Dick pulls on those puppet strings…

Hey, I made a “W” with my hands and body.

“Bill and Hillary, Laura and myself know the future of the country is very much up in the air.”

George, please put away your imaginary weapons of destruction.

“I beg to differ. I did do one thing right. I coordinated my tie with Laura’s outfit. You got to at least give me that one!”

President Bush demonstrates his best Bob Marley imitation singing:
” I shot the sheriff”
” But I didn’t shoot no deputy, oh no! oh! “

“President Bush shows people drowning in debt what to do”

The Netherlands

Lame duck?Heck who cares…in a few weeks I’ll be shooting duck.

Now Cheney tells me I actually had this much room to make my own decisions

This is my imitation of a Lame Duck!

All together now…………100 bottles of beer on the wall……..

…and that’s my favorite tune off Chinese Democracy.

I’m not as trunk as you drink I am!

The key to good health is just to sit back and take it easy. I know that’s what I’ve done the last eight years.

I was so proud of catching my biggest largemouth bass I officially “pardoned it”. Sorry Libby

Just call me Jesse James!

Oh heck! I thought this was a rodeo event.

George Bush regales the ladies with his rousing rendition of Irving Berlin’s popular standard song “Waddle I Do.”

Hallelujia….the time has come to take this job and shove it!!

The Newseum… perfect… we’ll be history soon, next question.

T!hese pistols are hot!

No, I wasn’t surprised at all when Brook Burke won “Dancing with the Stars.”