“Well? Can’t you guys get Oprah to buy another studio full of cars?

We were just wondering…didn’t ONStar contact you to let you know you were in a crash?

Do you hear that? That’s the sound of us NOT caring!

Questioner asked:

“How was the industry managed when cars were first invented?”

No need for an Auto Industry bailout.. We all have private jets.

I can’t believe you executives are so Cavalier about this!

“What do you mean you want 0% financing on this bailout?”

You are the preacher and we are the choir.

“Let the record show, no one raised their hand when we asked who cared if Toyota could slap their logo on all of our cars”

The cast of “Cocoon 2008: Cronies in the Senate” is revealed.

The senators are in “shock and awe” of the size of the CEO’s diamond studded tin cup.

Steve Schweitzer
State College, PA

I am from Lafayette, IN

“You expect US to pay for the bailout as well?!”

The senators don’t know how to respond when they find out Angelina Jolie has adopted and will be funding the auto industry.

Sigh. Call Ted, we’re gonna need that massage chair shipped down from Alaska.

You’re here for what?

We’re not sure how to help, but our wheels are turning.

” . . . It doesn’t show signs of stopping, and I’ve brought some corn for popping. . . “

” Let me get this straight, when you speak of deflation you’re not talking about tires?”

What do you mean the Republicans lost the election?

Macy’s introduces it’s low-cost neckwear line for men with the catch line “Old, old ties; new, new price”.

” Get your motors running. Head out on the highway. . “

How dare you three fly here in private jets. We had to suck it up and take stretch limos.

Yes Your right, we’re all dreaming about the day we get a flight on a private jet too.

Senator Levin, do you think that the hostility displayed by many Republicans stems from their negative experiences with the Model T.

“See the U.S.A. in you Hundai, oops I mean Chevrolet.”

Uh…..shouldn’t she have worn one of those expensive suits rather than that towel?

…And, the contestants for this seasons new reality show…

…America’s new — Depends spokesperson, were introduced to the media today….

Senator Levin, do you think that the hostility displayed by many Republicans stems from their negative experiences with the Model T.

The Senators were shocked by the tough question that they all uninamously thought to themselves: WOA, If not that Jesus came and gone,we would have thought that this guy is He and questioned ourselves if we are not really the pharisees!

The auto industry goes to Washington to “drive” congress crazy.

“You all flew here on private jets? Cry me a river. You get NOTHING.”

Sir, If you want a bailout your test is to make this group smile… good luck and please speak louder!

The nerve of those CEO’s to waste money faster than we can!

What’s the deal with all these questions? All I can think about is getting home to my T-bird … with mashed potatoes and stuffing on the side.

So, you’re asking us to reinvent the “wheel”?

Carl Levin & Etal watch as the Beg 3 fly back to Detroit.

“Alex, I’ll take bailouts for $20.”

Will my warranty still be good ?

“I am sure one of us has been to a car dealer in the last 20 years…Arlen? Chris? Sherrod? Debbie? George? Carl? Well, maybe not. But we understand the problem.”

The answer to the question was:Does any of us here looks like God to you to know the answer to such a question?

“Free Wamu checking?!?!”

We have a group of people who might be iinterested in taking those private jets off your hands, they are called lobbyists. Then we could use them!

Apply now and we’ll throw in a free spiral slicer with each bailout.

Senators, do you plan to give 25 billion to the big 3, or will you just devide it among yourselves?

Steve
Los Angeles

“We are not going to call it a bailout. We are going to call it ‘A Government Sponsored End to Capitalism.’”

Is that the Ford CEO cracking a bottle of champagne on the Limo outside.

Look over there! Here come the three private corporate jets flying in unison!

“Hey did you guys read the article: Five ways to keep Alzheimer’s away?”

Senator Levin is thinking that questions about a “Check Engine” light might better be directed to Click and Clack.

American Cars sat on a wall.
American Cars had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t bail out American Cars again.

There will be no auto immunity system implemented.

The Senate has downsized also. From now on 6 Sentors will share one desk.

Thank god I drive an Acura.

“Yes, that is my picture on the $100 bill.”

The old folks gather round for the Golden Girls marathon.
Afterwards we’ll make Smors and sing Kumbaya

De Plane! De Plane!

Maddam Tussaud’s provides a sneak-peak of the first half of their new wax exhibit of “The Dirty Dozen!”

“We have a new plan. Effective January 20, Dick Chaney is going to run the auto industry. He did it for defense, he can do it for cars!”

Let me think about that–no, I’ve never flown coach–is it crowded?

You guys ought to be ashamed of yourself for running business in a deficit! Who do you think you are? The Government?

We can’t have bailout to auto industry! no more bailout! next question.

Senator Carl Levin listens as a member of the press asks if that is his picture on the $100 bill.

A group of Senators listens to the rationale behind the 2009 Cadillac Escalade Hybrid.

Senator Bond fields a question on behalf of the committee to protect ill fitting suits and pale, wrinkly faces.

The Senate demonstrates their new measure “frowns across America” to express their reluctant support of the auto industry.

It takes one senator to screw in a lightbulb. And six to screw up a multibillion dollar loan to the auto industry.

Dustin
Nashville, TN

Don’t tell us we’re too old. We still know how to spend $700 billion dollars!

Big 3 CEO’s – “We would have driven to Washington, but chances are our cars wouldn’t have made it.”

WaMu free checking are you crazy?!?!?

Senator Carl Levin denies the rumor that the Detroit Lions are part of the auto bailout plan.

Hey, wake me up when this guy’s done, will ya?

Thanks for the questions, but now we have to go out back to check out all the new cars they left for us.

“What’s that you say? Should Americans buy more domestic cars? You must be joking…”

Its hard to lift our jaws off the floor after hearing those three wealthy CEOs begging for $25 billion.

Sen. Carl Levin, center, answers a question during a news conference, “no, we are not smarter than a 5th grader.”

Let the record show that no one raised their hands when I asked if their cars came standard with tooshie warmers like my Lexus…

…In a freak accident, all six senators were doused with a vat of molten wax…..

So we can each get flex fuel Escalades for a $25 Billion bail out package, but you keep the company planes?

The senators explain that “We need change… but mostly bills, large bills to bail out this auto industry”

Lafayette, IN

“So tell me, how were things managed when cars were invented?”

Kermit the Frog’s audition of the replacements for Statler and Waldorf for the upcoming movie “The Muppets Go To Congress.”

“Did any of you 3 stooges even consider driving one of your OWN American made cars to Washington ?”

Excuse me, The Plan. Where is the Plan?

If sadness and demoralization were currency our Senators would be loaded.

“Heigh-Ho, Sleepy – where’s Doc?”

Hey fellas if those guys sell the jets and properties they own they can bail
themselves out.

“No sir, I do not believe that GM stands for Geriatric Morons.”

The original members of Wolf Blitzer’s band address rumors of a reunion tour.

I would say it is safe to say that the Auto Industry is Out Of Gas.
They can not Pass Go, and cannot collect 25 billion dollars.
Patricia
Chattanooga TN

So let me get this straight — your names are Curly, Moe, and Larry and you’re automobile industry CEO’s and YOU want a bail-out too?!?!

Listen here Sonny, we know there is no such thing as a smart plane, you guys should of come here on a golf cart to beg for money.

Umm…mission accomplished??

Would there be a choice of big three jet planes or a bailout.

DO WE look like we fell of a turnip truck…………..?

“Excuse me Mr. Levin, but do you “Whistle While You Work.”

…huh?…WHAT???…
..I can’t hear you over those private corporate jets!!!

JoAnn B
Sidney (not Australia), NY

Well… I drive a Prius but that’s really not pertinent to the issue at hand. Next question?

Six US Senators audition for the re-make of the film “The Day the Earth Stood Still!”

“Can you speak up? My hearing aid isn’t switched on”

you want each of us to pitch in a billion? what?

Six Senators a suffering……

“So that’s what an American made car looks like.”

Newark, CA

A strange sight for the press… first they hear numerous clicking sounds coming from the floor, then a continuous mutterings of “there’s no place like home”

I’m getting too old for this, how about a bathroom break

“Did Sarah Palin, or any of her staff, advise you on how to answer that question?”

Jean, Canada

The Suffering Six announce they will also call in bro. James 007 Bond to transform them into a modern day Magnificent Seven.

Ready!!! Everybody all together now!!! Hellllll Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!
We’re not bailing you out!!!!!

“Welcome to McDonalds, may we take your order?”

You want HOW much?!?!

That was the last question. Now we’re going home until January. Happy Holiday’s!

Senators, a show of hands please… How many of you drove into work today in an American made car? Let the record show, no one raised their hand.

Senators are stunned when reporter asks if they are prepared to give up their perks.

How many private jets will $25 billion buy?

Do you happen to have an extra rear-view mirror handy so I can see if my forehead has the word “CHUMP” written on it?!?!

I’ll have a coke and two hotdogs, with extra bailout, but hold the mustard.

Three Little Auto Maker CEO Piggies flew private jets to Congress……

“Carl…, you told me we were going to the lobbyist breakfast.”

Is this OVER yet????

Deck the cars with bailouts and Folly
Fa LaLaLaLa…La La La La
Tis the season to be jolly….

Sen. Levin is keeping the auto industry guessing by wearing his Santa tie, yet holding a Scrooge like gaze during this recent news conference.

Look out the window. There goes the 3 Corporate Jets!

If the Big 3 go belly up, we might pick up one of those jets for the Senate at a real bargain!

Yeah, yeah, it’s all fun, fun, fun, until somebody takes your T-Bird away.

NO, really, we took the bus here today!

Jean, Canada

No Honey, No Money. You Play, You Pay, No Ticket No Laundry, Do Not Pass Go Do Not Collect Government Funding ….Check Mate Games Over You Lose!!!

It’s a Bird…It’s a Plane…No, It’s the three private jets of the Automaker’s CEOs!

Senator Carl Levin pauses for a moment of levity……..

So, your saying that botox works better than the bail out plan?

What are you thinking…. I am thinking Arbys tonight.

Austin TX

Senator dodges tricky question:
“What private jet? That’s the new Chrysler Airstream!”

The Netherlands

“Uh…It depends on what the meaning of the word compromise is….”

Confucious once said, “Poor man come for handout, poor man leave plane home.”

It’s a Bird…It’s a Plane…No, It’s the three private jets of the Automaker’s CEOs!

Sen. Levin, are you in favor of this auto industry bail?
” Hell no, over my dead body “

you must be out of your mind… i drive a prius!

Rock
Sudbury, Ontario, Can.

“Is this the right line for High School Musical 3?”

That was the last question. This session is over and we’re going home until January. Happy Holidays!

Oh my God, who let the crazy “Obama is an Arab” lady from the McCain rally in here?!

Who wants a brand new Cadillac straight off the line?

See evil, hear evil, speak evil.

Yes it started out well the CEOs were complimentary about us all having the color red in our neck ties.

Are all of you on the Bridge to Nowhere?

Say What? We cant start our recess yet?

After rejecting the bailout for the auto-industry, these four Musketeers have decided to take life back on the horses again.

Senator Levin, will that be cash or charge

You mean you guys came all the way from Detroit and you didn’t ride share?

“We only delayed the bail out so our brokers can buy us stock in GM.”

Geez Carl , maybe we should talk with their union. 8 hours day , no evenings or weekends..

Bonnie Corba
Fredericktown Ohio

“No, I don’t know what kind of dog the Obama’s are getting….stop asking that question.”

The on-air team at ‘60 Minutes” really gets crazy celebrating their highest ratings in a decade.

Mr. Moore, address the Senators with a resounding I Told You So !while showing clips from ” Roger & Me “.to refresh thier memory .

May we request a round of “Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang” from the Senators?

We’re here to announce the “Big Three” auto makers will be reorganized and merged into a single company called ChryForGM.

Senators suffering a case of car sickness.

Winnipeg, Canada

“Our biggest dissapointment?
We didn’t get a tour of the private jets.”

The inspiration for the Muppet’s “Old Codgers in the balcony” skits.

On the first day of Christmas Chrsyler came to me, one Ceo, two Cfos, three lucky charms, one private plane with a check book and a begging plea.

Surprisingly , the Democrats get their bail-out plan rebuffed before they even announce it.

We are here today to show Obama that we – “old dogs” can learn new tricks too!! No bailout for our friends today!

Q: When Obama enter office, how are you going to act?

Team Goofy will make everything Goody.

Two paths diverged in the Woods – and we choose the one that takes less gas to travel by

Do we look as if we’re kidding?

Riverview, Mi

Yes, bailout is a non-partistan buzz word..

Astonished members of Congress gaze in stunned silence at the largest automobile crash in history.

Man, thank goodness we’re close to retirement!

Of course I’m not enthused. Three private jets and I had to fly coach.