Rebekah,
Great article! I for one hate all of these people who complain and grumble about this war yet they have given nothing towards it. I think we are there doing a great thing for the Iraqi people. Pulling out now and leaving them with nothing would make them worse off than before we ever went in. I hope that who ever wins this election can look beyond party lines and see that.

I wish your family and husband well.

Cindy...Ga.

I appreciate your blog and I understand where you are coming from. I do not think that you understand where I am coming from...

The reason I am tired of this war is due to the way we got there. There are several tell-all books that shed light on exactly how our government led us to war with Iraq. We were all duped into thinking it was necessary when it actually WAS NOT necessary. Bush wanted to bring peace to the middle east and sold it to us in the form of a "must act now to prevent WMD's" initiative. Of course we would all be behind preventing Iraq giving terrorists WMD's. The problem is that this was not the main reason Bush wanted to go and the administration WAS NOT sure about WMD's. If you don't believe me...do a little research and read as many books about it as you can find...from all perspectives. You will find that I am right. So having said that, I am tired of this war in Iraq that we should never have been in. Thousands of our men and women are dieing in an unjust war.

I do think we should be in Afganistan. I don't like war, but sometimes it is necessary. If we had not gone into Iraq, we probably would have won in Afganistan...but that is obviously only speculation. If you put all the money, troops, and years that we have spent in Iraq into Afganistan...it is hard to imagine that we wouldn't have better results than fighting 2 wars at once...one being unjustified.

I am not unpatriotic, uneducated, or uninformed. I love our country, I just don't always agree with our actions. And how can you say that most people don't even know someone in the armed forces...that statement seems a little rediculous!!

We are "War weary" because our country is constantly at war. More people than you think have military family members. My father was sent to Iraq twice, so I can personally relate to the sacrifice. I also have 2 cousins who just got home from Iraq. You say most americans don't know anyone in the military. I beg to differ. Many of us live in towns or cities where we encounter multitudes of veterans. We must also remember how many national guard troops, from many states, were sent to Iraq (my dad was one of them). We should really stop with thinking that somehow our sacrifice is greater than someone elses. I appreciate everyone who serves this country, but that is their decision. No one is forced into military service here, and we should treat non veterans and every-day working people with respect as well. So someone tells me they're "War Weary", I don't blame them. There are mothers and wives who have lost their sons and husbands to violence right here at home. I greive for them equally as much as I greive for the soldiers we have lost in war. I believe soldiers in Iraq are fighting for Iraqi freedom. Not mine.

Thank you for your service- You and your Husbund are the true heroes of this country. I don't know how you all do it. God Bless and our Family will never forget the sacrafices you and others have made.

I am weary, and I do have a dog–several of them–in the fight. No one is saying that the American people have put up with more than military families. No one is saying that these soldiers haven't gone on tour after tour fighting valiantly for their nation.

What we're saying is this: In 2002, America had more allies, was more powerful, and was more prepared to destroy the culture of terrorism in those places that nurtured it than it had ever been in history. That chance was squandered by turning to war. Nineteen people flew planes into those buildings on September 11th. Nineteen. Never, ever, has there been or will there be a time in history when we can fight enough wars to stop 19 people from hating us. There are more than 19 people in our own country that hate us. There are more than 19 people in our own military with a growing distrust of their government's intentions.

We should not and cannot change the world and the mind's of its 6+ billion citizens by killing everyone that wants to kill us. Soldiers lives are as precious as anyone else's, and no one, no matter how much they want to be, should be put on the front lines thinking they can defeat a concept as old as humanity like terrorism. It's just plain stupid. Our soldiers deserve better, their families and friends deserve better, and America has done and can do better.

What an awesome article! My husband is in the Navy Reserves and has been deployed twice. Every day we wonder if we'll receive news of another mobilization. Thus far, we've been spared a third. And we know we are among the INCREDIBLY fortunate! Our prayers are with you and your family and ALL of those who serve our country as well as those they leave behind. Thank you!

As a US Veteran who volunteered, I can tell you why we are war weary. We're war weary because billions of our tax dollars are being spent on a war built on lies. We're war weary because we value life, even the life of people we do not know, American and Iraqi. We're war weary, because our energy and money could be put to better use like improving health care and education, as well as creating jobs for the people who are losing their homes. We're war weary just like the Germans on the homefront were in World War II, because war is a *bad* thing. That war was and this war is a war of aggression. Like this war, there were many Germans in World War II who blindly followed their leader (German: Führer). Like that war, there are some people who have eyes and and brain. That's why we are war weary.

I can't agree with you more.

I think your view is a bit immature. It's not that folks are weary of a war per se, they are weary of an unjust war, launched on false pretense that has drained our economy and national spirit.

I spent nearly 15 years in the military; no one is bad mouthing the military. It has a job to do, and should be supported. I think, however, many people have opened their eyes to this current war as being ill conceived and supported only by lies and conjecture.

That, ma'am, is of what we're ALL weary.

Hey, get this: STOP ENLISTING. Our opposition to the war is the fact that it is completely pointless, accomplishes nothing, and is not going to do any short or long term good to anyone. I'm sorry, but the sacrifices our soldiers are making aren't accomplishing anything, and we (the taxpayers, the people who sign the paychecks of soldiers so they can afford to buy a computer to play holier-than-thou in the first place) get to bankroll it to the tune of $10 billion a month, not to mention the cost of developing new technologies and maintaining a giant military infrastructure on the domestic front to compensate for all the increased deployments. The war in Iraq may only be $10 billion a month, but the total cost at the end of the day is much higher... And get this: we're sick of it. We're sick of paying a disinterested group of politicians to pay a bunch of idealistic, confused young people to go play army in the desert for the purpose of bolstering Halliburton's stockholders' portfolios. I'm grateful for what are soldiers are WILLING to do, as in fight and die in the name of freedom, but am I grateful for what they are doing now? NO! I would consider you and your husband 100000x more patriotic if you refused to fight or support this stupid war. The lesson of Viet Nam is a sad one: the government DOES NOT CARE what the majority opinion is, and as long as people keep supporting the troops, they will be willing to die for our politicians. I'm supporting you better than anyone by refusing to support you.

PS I will pray for your husband. May the LORD watch over all our servicemen.

Excellent job of putting perspective on the situation. I applaud you and your family.

Perhaps we're tired of paying for this misadventure.

I guess it makes your life easier to believe the sacrifice you are enduring is somehow worthwhile. Now the majority of us see that it is not. It's now painfully obvious this the Iraq War and The War on Terror has been a terrible ruse to propogate a political adgenda.

I am appalled that this condesending article has been posted on CNN. The thought that those of us not fighting in the war don't know what it's like or have loved ones fighting is absurd.
the idea that just because we are not in the military, we are doing none of the work is crazy. I have nothing but respect for the men and women who are fighting and I not only have family but also friends fighting; however as far as optional is concerned, there has been no draft. Your husband knew what he was risking when he signed on the dotted line, and more respect to him for doing so. Do you think that just because you are a bit closer to the families of those dying on a daily basis, you are somehow better than the rest of us who work a job and take care of our family? I don't think so. You've not been on the battlefield either, nor does it sound you've been in the hard workforce lately. How about those of us that put in countless hours only to pay taxes and healthcare for our families so that you can have yours for free? Perhaps next time you decide to call all americans not in the military lazy and selfish, you should take a look around and see that if it wasn't for us hard working americans your husband would receive no benefits. I hope for a safe return for your husband, and I hope he gets to spend his best days with his children, however when I leave my job today as lazy as I may be, I'm going to go home and see my kids and think about how unintelligent I am for choosing to stay with them instead of join the armed forces.

God bless the troops, but bring them home. More Americans to die is not the answer.

Thank you. There are still some people out here who know and appreciate the sacrifices you make. I am praying for you.

I am a veteran and I understand what it is to serve your country and make sacrifices on her behalf. ...and I am weary. I am weary of seeing young men who had the same noble inclination to make themselves available to be of service to their country die, be maimed and emotionally scarred in a war that we should have never undertaken. This has become the longest and most costly war we have ever waged and it was began under false pretenses.

I am weary of hearing that the war in Iraq is keeping me and my family free. That is the most senseless statement ever uttered in defense of this indefensible war.

I am weary of hearing that we are spreading democracy and creating an ally in the region. Democracy should be the choice of the people living in that foreign land and to think of Iraq as an ally is laughable after killing thousands upon thousands of Iraqis and destablizing their country.

I am weary of blind patriotism. I am weary of needless sacrifice and a blundered attempt to bring the real conspirators of 9/11 to justice. I am weary of our government surrendering the moral high ground to torture and unlawfully detain people.

I am weary of people telling me I have no right to be weary...

Ma'am,
With all due respect to your sacrifice. Have you been drinking?
I've sacrificed my health, youth and marriage to the service. On multiple deployments to include our current military mistake. The American public has to question our leader decisions in this area or your family and mine will continue to suffer from tragic foreign policy.
It's going to take years for our military to recover from this and until then we will be vulnerable to the true threats in this world.
This nation has to be more than war weary, it needs to be war wary.

There is no doubting your husbands dedication and your families sacrifice and everybody else's sacrifice that has anything to do with this war , but it sounds like you are the one that is complaining. Everything you are saying about being there is true. Your husband is where the war should be, IN Afghanistan and not in Iraq. We are stretched thin and everybody is tired of it. Our #1 focus should be getting out of Iraq and getting more in Afghanistan. You are right in the fact that us civilians have no idea of what it is like, but it is also our choice to not know what it is like. Bush and his yes men should be more careful about what battles to pick. Its not the rich that are affected so much by the war as the middle class and poor and people are sick of it. Hell some of the rich are profiting off of the privatization of the war. Everyone should however support the troops and families that did decide to go and to make it their career to protect our country.....

No one forced the author or her husband to (a) sign up for the service, (b) have so many children even though she claims to realize that she might be responsible for them alone.

Rebekah, I hope your husband returns safely. Many wil not. I will tell you why I am weary of war.

I am weary of feeling guilty that my government invaded and destroyed a country that did nothing to us.

I am weary of the pain that I feel inside for the innocent people that we have killed.

I am weary from watching my privacy and human rights being taken away ,in the name of protecting me, by Bush and Chaney. More of the same promised from McCain..

I am weary of a government that cannot afford to provide health care but don't blink at 10 billion a month for a usless war.

Rebekah,

Yes Americans are war weary. But I (and I presume they) are also saddened by the sacrifices our military is making. I (but definitely not some of them) are even more saddened that the 2nd war (in Iraq) was a war based on deceitfulness of George Bush, Colin Powell, Karl Rove and the GOP in general. The GOP in general also includes the preponderance of the senior military (by all accounts), and these senior military have sold out their integrity, their common sense and the lives of their soldres to the GOP.

Wow. I am genuinely touched. You painted a very vivid picture. I seriously almost cried at one point, where you talk about letting go of that one last hug before a deployment. Now I feel bad for not serving. I seriously considered it but decided it just wasn't for me. Thank you, Rebekah, for sacrificing all you have for this war, and please, if you get the chance (and remember to, haha) thank your husband for me. I know it's not easy. Just stick in there, and in the end, I'm sure everything will be alright.

Ms. Sanderlin –

Millions of Americans are war weary because this senseless war without end never had any chance of producing anything but dead and maimed soldiers and civilians, international derision, and economic ruin. All of us will be "pitching in" by paying the tremendous economic, political and security costs of the war for decades to come.

Those who joined our all-volunteer military should have known that they risked being sent off to war. I didn't ask your husband to join the military. He had his own reasons. Maybe he thought it was his patriotic duty, maybe he wanted excellent free health care, or maybe he actually thinks Saddam Hussein had something to do with 9/11.

Your family does deserve a break. But don't expect the rest of us to volunteer to get killed for a lie. Instead, join millions of your fellow citizens telling Bush, McCain and Obama to end this damnable, useless war TODAY! THAT'S what will bring your husband home.

Wow, bitter much? Your husband probably signed up for the military for the same reason most do: hope for a cheap education and to not be deployed.

Being "asked to do anything more to support this war than sit back and watch as [my] tax dollars are spent." s exactly what I'm complaining about. EVERYONE'S children will have to watch their country mortgaged away to foreign debt holders, not just soldiers.

It's not like being in the military is a volunteer job; you get paid, and quite well considering the educational background most soldiers have.

All I have you say is you seem to be very naive and that you must not love your husband very much.

I recently finished my term in the Air Force and my wife is still in and currently deployed. We would both love to be on peaceful footing right now as opposed to seemingly never-ending war.

In order for war to deserve continued support it must be for a good and noble PURPOSE. The public is war weary because we've come to understand that the current wars no longer server a noble purpose. We are imposing our "help" on people who don't want it and who are unwilling to help themselves. Now, that is not to say our troops are not doing good in individual situations, but the larger picture has lost it's focus. You can blather on about the threat of terrorism if we leave all you want, but I'm not buying it.

This statement, "The only way our family and other military families will get a break is if more Americans sign up to join the fight." indicates to me that you have no idea how the military works. Each branch of the service has caps on the number of personnel they can have at any particular time, imposed for financial reasons. The military is not some limitless pool that can take all comers.

The ONLY way your family and mine will get a break is if we end these senseless wars and take care of our own affairs.

- Schevus

Beautifully written piece. I feel for the families of military personnel. Its them that suffer the most in any war. Unfortunately its not the politicians who suffer like this and thus are not affected by snding hundreds of thousands of young people into the face of danger, the rational be damned.

The Demagog doesn't work all the time in politic and Mccain and Palin saw it last week. I saw McCain so apologetic defending Obama that I thought he was going to say,"He is so decent that I will be voting for him and Joe Biden.

I agree most American's haven't sacrificed. Most have no idea what it means to serve this country with your life and limb.

I support the troops whole heartedly, but this should not be our fight. America should be a beacon for peace, hope, democracy, and freedom. We've become a capitalistic country full of selfish greedy people(5% of the world population). Our soldier are only the tool of those greedy capitalist. I have relatives that fought in the Iraq war. Without complaint they endure treatments and misdiagnoses. They returned with disappointment and discouragement.

People make accusations and generalizations about the definition of America, but we aren't really Americans. We've become capitalist. We fear terrorist, well we're the terrorist. We'll trample any nation that restricts our interest. We allow other countries to starve. We allow human beings in our own country to wilt away, while we complain about the price increase of milk. We must become Americans again. Fighting wars for capital gain of a few is not American. Fighting wars for peace, freedom, and justice is worth fighting. I'm a proud American who fights for freedom.

Well said. As a mother of a son in Iraq I say Semper Fi to you and your family. We together can hold each other up to face another day of the unknown that no one understands if they are not connected to the military. One day at a time is all we can do and pray that the day will come no bad news. I keep you and your family in my prayers along with every military family and those serving.

Everytime I hear that another "American Hero" has died in this horrible war a cold chill runs down my spine. I am so sorry for the suffering that you and other families are going through.

I wish that I had a solution for you but I do not.

I have two college aged sons and I would never, ever encourage them to join the military. The leaders of our country started this war, let them go and fight it. I will not jeopardize the lives of my sons to fight a war started by that moron Bush, a war that he and his cronies are profitting from.

The leaders of this country are focused on winning the war. Well why not just say that we won the war and get the heck out of Iran. A democratic government has been established and there have 79 billion dollars in reserve while we pay millions for them every day to fight this war.

Despite what that dunce Palin said during the vice presidential debate, I see no shame in waving the white flag of surrender. None at all.

I don't want "American Heros" in my house. I want my sons, alive,

There has been some very thoughtful dialogue here. I would like to add this little bit. The US military (and their immediate families) experience a significant amount of brainwashing, day in and day out. The differences between military media outlets and civilian is like night and day. Perhaps this is necessary to keep up the morale when fighting an endless war with ambiguous reasons and goals.

And you are definitely wrong when you consider yourself so separate from "us" civilians. I am recently retired from the military and have a child enlisted now. Not to mention another child married into a military family. I'm not unique. Most people I know have very close ties to the military one way or the other.

All the best to you and yours.

A well thought out perspective but one that I am getting a bit tired of hearing from the military family community. Having been a military wife during the Vietnam war we didn't have the advantages of email and computers to link us to our loved ones. Nor did we have a media that allowed us a platform to chastise the public for their lack of support. For many of us we didn't have the kind of salary/housing or family support you have now. I can remember a few years when he national budget wasn't voted in we didn't get paid on time and yet our husbands didn't get to walk off the job. These young men and women who are now serving are not the first to be fighting in an unjust and illegal war nor to have a country who may appear not to care about the family. We are all weary of the injustice and lies not only to the people who are paying for this war but also your husbands/wives who have fight this unjust war.

Sadly many military families have bought into the right wing mantra if you don't support the war then you don't support the troops. It is insulting to assume that most Americans quietly sit back in the comfort of our homes and watch our tax dollars get spent on a war that we personally are not involved in. We sit in our homes after working a long day on jobs that move the economy of this nation and educatie the next generation and watch our hard earned taxes dollars go into the hands of American companies who capitalize on war profits while our wounded servicemen and women suffer with lack of care. We watch our own savings filter away to pay for this war, forcing us to tell our children they will have to find another way to pay for college. And why is it the government has the means $$$ to pay for large signup and reenlistment bonus to our military but can't also provide money for those who attend college to work for the most disenfranchised in this country? Heroes come in many walks of life and we want to make sure when we use our military it is for a noble and just cause built on reason and facts, not on greed and lies. We owe our military that.

I hear you and believe I understand your perspective. If anyone has a reason for feeling "war weary", it would be the many servicepeople and their families who have voluntarily sacrificed all that they have and their futures in Iraq.

Where did the term "war weary" come from? Neither I nor anyone I know personally has used the term. I have seen it reported in the Media and spoken of directly by this Administration. So, on that basis, I would have to assume that it originates there, or some government think-tank as to why peope "support the troops" but don't "support the war".

I think some people will always oppose war. As a veteran, married to a veteran, from a family of veterans, so I am not one of them. However, I am outraged with this Administration's handling of the "War on Terror" and the "War in Iraq", partly because of how we got there, partly because of how the wars have been mishandled, and mostly because of the "waste of patriotic, volunteer, servicepeople and their families". You see the benefits to being in Iraq, and I am glad that they are there. I see the lives, futures, and money wasted in Iraq, which had nothing to do with 9/11, or making America safer.

If you are determined to call that "war weariness", that's your privilege to do so.

I very much enjoy all of the extremely polarized political comments made about an opinion piece that, in its substance, has very little to do with current politics. From many of your crazed responses to this opinion piece it is quite evident that some of you view the military as some refuge for societal misfits. Let me tell you nothing could be further from the truth. The military is everything that some Americans are and many hope to be. It is full of hard working, clear-minded intelligent individuals. I should know, I am one of them and I have a law degree and am currently a student in an M.D. program.

The problem is that the media is portraying the war in the proper manner. The media finds that negative reporting seems to work than the truth. All these people who claim to be war weary have no idea what is truly going on. They need to look at the bigger picture. Yeah, Bush took us to war for perhaps the wrong reasons, but what about all the right reasons that makes the US what it is today. Those right reason consist of bringing freedom to people who never have had it. Ok so according to the media nobody in Iraq and Afghanistan want us there. First hand correction, for I am a war on terror vet myself, they want and need us there. A vast majority of the people in Iraq and Afghanistan will tell you this. Only the media has turned and bent the truth. So people of America what's wrong with bringing freedom to people who have never had it. I've gone to three places to up hold or bring new freedom during my time in the military. All three places thanked me for what I was doing; well before any American ever did so. Time for the people of the Untied States to crawl out of the TV set and have a real clue of what's going on and how the troops and those who we have brought new freedom to feel.

As evidenced by the responses to your article, Rebekah, most Americans now realize the folly of this particular war. Our grievance has never been with the people who enlist to fight for their country, but rather with the short-sighted politicians who started this one. I highly recommend reading "A Time to Fight",by Senator Jim Webb, a decorated veteran of both Vietnam and the Reagan Pentagon. His lucid description of the origins of the Iraq War will open your eyes and make you as determined as many of us to end this endless war . Thank you for your service to the country.

Sorry, but your premise that most of us don't have a stake or aren't affected by this horrible conflict is just not true. We all know someone who has been directly impacted by a soldier's death or injury–and we are all paying for this mistake, so don't try to claim all the hardship. We have an all volunteer force, and they and their families, of course, are doing most of the work–but we are all impacted–and we all feel the pain. That's why most of us want it to end–now.

It is obvious that a great number of Americans believe they are know the facts but do not. I live in a military town and talk to soldiers every day. What they describe is much different from the news media.
In 1980 a lady from India told me that Moslums would cause trouble for us. In 1990 a young man from Iran explained to me how many things were being done in Komanie (sp) name and we faced trouble. I did not believe either of them, not here, not us.

I'm sorry this lady wasted her words on the likes of you.

We should have learned from past experience that military victories do not win wars. The more people we kill the more enemies we make. It's hard to make up with someone that is responsible for the death of a family.

It's easy for us to tolerate war because we are fighting in someone else's house. For those who are actually living the situation its like a 9/11 environment. If we teach our children one thing and support another that is hypocracy.

Thank you and your colleagues for your sacrifices. It is your willingness to do so that helps preserve our freedom.

That said, the reality is that our money (i.e. tax dollars) has to, for most of us, be earned. We are trying to help you. I agree that complaining does not help so I challenge my fellow citizens to cut down on the complaining.

Keep in mind that our short time in this war pales in comparison to the citizens of countries chronically at war (Israel, Iraq, Venezuela, etc.)

We have an all volunteer military. If you could choose whether to fight a real war on terror, or to invade sovereign nations then I'm sure that more people would join up. There has never been a convicted Iraqi terrorist before we invaded and started destabilizing Iraq and empowering Iran. I feel sorry for all the Americans who are having their lives destroyed by this Iraqi civil war that our leaders caused. Many Americans would join if the cause was just (like in Afghanistan). But most Americans don't want to live with the guilt of being involved in an illegitimate war, with the blood of innocent Iraqis on their conscience, just to thicken up George and Dicks pocketbook.

I have two sons in the Marines – one in Iraq, one will shortly be deployed to either Iraq or Afghanistan. Both volunteered, against my wishes – they said they were following in my footsteps because I was a Vietnam era Navy vet (an enlistee, not a draftee) – and I am proud they are willing to serve our country. Do I agree with our political leadership and how it is trying to battle an ideology? No – but I would rather we engage in a real debate about how to solve the issue (without political party or partisan spin) and then implement the solution than wait for the IED's to start showing up on the Long Island Expressway.

In the meantime – even if you do not support Bush or the war, do not forget that the sacrifices being made are being made in part so we can all have our right to express our opinion. Support the troops.

Rebekah,

I don't think you quite understand where I'm coming from with regard to this war. I became "War Weary" when American forces were sent into Iraq, leaving Osama Bin Laden, and the true culprits that we were supposed to be after in the Afghan hills.

I'm sure there are plenty of Iraqi citizens who are grateful for our support. Saddam Hussein did some terrible things to his country, but this was never meant to be a humanitarian mission. There are people in Darfur and elsewhere that are in dire need of our help, yet we do nothing.

If Americans are going to risk their lives, and loads of money are going to be spent on war, then it had better be well thought out, and prudently accomplish its goal. From its inception, this war has been unfocused, and unnecessary.

So, Rebekah, I'm weary, and I think you should be too.

~Andrew

I'm a veteran myself, Vietnam era. My father was career Army, 21 years, and fought in WW2 and in Korea. And while I hear what Rebekkah is saying, and agree with parts of it, I disagree with part of the root of her discourse. We aren't tired of the war in Afghanistan - we are tired of the war in Iraq. I haven't gone out and maxed out my credit cards - I don't have any because I had to file bankruptcy after the economic "problems" in 2001. I've been fighting my own war here, to keep my head above water while the government has been misappropriating my money from a legitimate conflict in Afghanistan to an illegimate conflict in Iraq. THAT's what I'm tire of. Some of us, quite a lot of us now, don't want to see any more precious American lifes lost in Iraq while our troups in Afghanistan are undermanned and underequipped.

I admire and respect the heroic mission of our military, and the stalwart support of their families. But some sacrifices being made are unnecessary. The wars my father fought in, the job I did in the Air Force during Vietnam, the sacrifices my family made for my father, the schoolmates I lost in Vietnam, and the children of friends that have been lost in Iraq - I have to think, Rebekkah, that there are a lot more of us out in the civilian world who have been affected as our government spends $10 billion a month in Iraq.

We're weary our of our brave soldiers returning maimed and not getting the care they deserve or return in a coffin Rebekah for an oil war. We're weary of spending 10 billion dollars a month for an illegal war while the middle class becomes the working poor. We're weary of our jobs being sent overseas while the company gets tax breaks or pays no taxes at all. We're weary of the greedy Wall Street fat cats who walk away with 400 million in parachute benefits, while running their company into the ground and leaving investors high and dry. We're weary of an incompetent and dangerous president and vice president, who have violated the Constitution and Rule of Law while our elected officials refused to hold them accountable. We're weary of our government making life great for the rich while casting aside the working , middle class. We're weary of conservatives who say they believe in the free market until they lose money then ask us, the taxpayers to bail them out with our tax dollars. We're weary of the soaring jobless rate, daily foreclosures, elected politicians who could care less about their constituents. Does that answer your question of why we are so weary, Rebekah?

Many of the Americans for whom you hold distain are 'war weary' because of the extent of a war started on false pretenses. Bush used poor judgment in bringing us into the war (weapons of mass destruction... that DIDN'T exist). You say that the Iraqi people would be worse off now than when we went in? So perhaps we should have left them alone and concentrated our efforts where the problem lies: Afghanistan. All I know is that I paid for my college education; I am saving money. I pay off my bills to zero balance every month. I volunteer in my community, and I am not an executive in a financial institution. I do my part as a socially and fiscally responsible person. Our national debt is out of control and spending billions upon billions in Iraq is crazy when so many things in our own country need improvement i.e. educational system overhaul, healthcare/medicare/social security reform, roads and bridge repairs, etc.

So war weary Americans deserve credit. Not everyone agreed with a war in Iraq, and fighting in the war is a decision that represents Americans to the rest of the world. the decision was made by our 'fearless leader' and he couldn't even figure out how to respond to Katrina, a disaster in between his home state and his current residence. Tons of people are still suffering there.. how are we supposed to fix Iraq if we cant even fix our own city of New Orleans?

Many people do know soldiers and veterans, and all the suffering imposed on them, their spouses, children, and friends is terrible, as cited. Let's let your daughter meet her dad. Get everyone on the road to recovery. Let's mend the infrastructure we have and continue to destroy in Iraq, quit spending precious money we don't have, and get the hell out of there.

This was an excellent article, it presents a different kind of view for myself and although I will not join the military, I will try to do what I can for those families in need

Well said, from a veteran that's with you.

I am an Army Veteran, daughter of a WWII veteran, granddaughter of a WWI veteran and great-granddaughter of a Civil War veteran. I understand very well about family sacrifices and what it means to serve this country. However I have been very vocal in my criticism of this war since day 1. It is more of a disservice to our military to let them fight and die unnecessarily than it is to blindly go along with our government.

It is the duty of the patriot to protect his country from his government. ~ Thomas Paine

Naive – no way this military wife is naive – military families have had to face reality; whether it be burying our friends and family or the tears of goodbye for a long deployment. The reality is that no matter how we got to war, we are in war – period. Don't want Heros in your house – what a sad unpatriotic statement and we don't want your pity; we know why we fight. We military families chose this life and are proud of it. You want to lay down our country to a white flag – spineless!

NO THANKS, I completely respect the men/women who serve this country (like my father), but I do not support any more young people signing up to possibly ruin their lives. I feel sorry for you and your family and do not want more generations to suffer as you have testified. Ultimately, it will do further damage everywhere – at home and abroad. Many, many are weary. If we are policing the world, caring for our homeland and our families is not top priority. Face it, your husband is not ~directly~ benefitting your family. Sometimes, you need to put family first, over wars in places most of us will never see as you explained.

A strong America starts at home...and "Rome" is falling. Peace.

Hey, I'd love to pitch in - if by pitch in, you don't mean "pick up a rifle" but you clearly do.

There's more to sacrifice than killing insurgents, lady. Get some perspective.

How biased of an article can you possible write, the introduction says it all: "Rebekah Sanderlin is a mother, an Army wife and a freelance journalist. She lives near Fort Bragg, Norh Carolina "

First you browbeat the civilians and then you end the article asking to sign up? Incredible. As a veteran that sees both sides of it, I'm simply amazed how blinded you are, just as President Bush as been and "led" our country into the toilet. We support the troops but that doesn't mean we have to support the ill-advised war in Iraq, there's an incredible difference between the two. Perhaps what we're most sick of lives in the White House. Get out and vote and make a change for what is best for our country, not your pocketbook (I'm registered as an Independent, not a Democrat).

We have every right to be "illegal war-weary". We have every right to demand that our troops come home instead of sacrificing their lives and limbs while destroying America's reputation and wasting tax payers' $$. The money could be spent for education and wealth care for the soldiers' kids back here at home. We must stop saying, "Those who are against the war do not support out troops".

Sad as it may be, there is a psychology that forces relatives of soldiers to support the War. Because, if they don't, they cannot justify the lost lives of their near and dear ones. It's hard to sleep at night if you feel that your son gave his life in vain. Saying "God bless our soldiers", "Support our troops" etc. is easy, but offers no strategy to end the war. It's easy to talk like Ms. Sanderlin; it takes courage to be Cindy Sheehan. Sorry, Mrs. Sanderlin. And yes, I will pray for your husband's safety, but you need to make the distinction between supporting the war and supporting the troops. Get over it.

"In the military community we roll our eyes when we hear that Americans are war weary. Just what, we wonder, are you all weary of? Hearing about the war? Seeing stories in the news? Most Americans don’t even know anyone in the military and won’t have any direct contact with the war besides seeing uniformed soldiers in the airport. You all haven’t been asked to do anything more to support this war than sit back and watch as your tax dollars are spent."
Oh, really? So, because we're citizens, we have no say in the war? And you're dead wrong when you say "most Americans don' even know anyone in the military". This sounds like military elitism: 'because we're military families, we're better than you'.
EVERY family in society is just as important as any other, and that includes just as important as any family in the military. And she complains about the civilian families, yet wants us to 'sign up'?
I have a clue for you: stop signing up.
And there are homeless and about-to-be-homeless people because in part, of the mortgage and economic crisis which is fueled by this senseless, inane, false pretenses war.
So tell a homeless person they're not as good as you are, simply because they're not in the military.

Lets not forget, we have been grinding away in Araq starting with Desert Storm 1991. That's 17 years with no end in sight. Bush had a private vendetta from the day he went into office. This is what he will be remembered for in the history books.

Victor

This war has not been easy...as in every preceding war on this planet. We as Americans are always asked to give, no matter what, all over the world. We are the only nation that stands for peace, and peace keeper for nations who cannot defend themselves, and always will be.

Thank you for what you and your family endure each and every day. Thank you.

My father was in the military, had a 24 year career...was in Vietnam. I can relate to the life of a family without the father around. It is difficult.

Americans have forgotten the where we were at in the year surrounding the beginning of this war...forgotten the loss of life of 9/11, forgotten Iraq

You're all entitled to your individual opinions, just don't take them out on our troops. They don't decide, they act.

Yes, our country would have made everything ok by just sitting this one out. That is to say Iraq. Perhaps your husband would be home with you right now, and this mess with Afganistan would have been dealt with. Do not confuse patriotism with hawkish politics.

War??? what war... Combat operations finished May 5, 2003. The police action/occupation/nation building that is going on in Iraq doesnt affect my life or anyone I know a bit except for the mountain of debt we are leaving the future generations.

However, the savvy Chinese are securing oil there while we are trying to secure our banks and they havent lost a single person in Iraq.

This is your husband's job, it would be dangeous if he was away on a North Sea oil platform or was a deep sea welder. They all take dangersous jobs and should be be compensated for it.

Thank you for your service. I have nothing but respect for those who volunteer, and your service during the 2nd Iraq War has been nothing short of extraordinary.

However, the issue with Iraq has nothing to do with being "war weary". It has to do with government deliberately misleading, and attempting to misinform, at every possible opportunity, to be able to claim it had support from an international community. The conduct of this government before and during the war was dishonorable and an absolute outrage. The duration of the war and continued sacrifice by families like yours won't change what the facts are.

If you are concerned about Americans upset over the war, you should bring it up with the Commander in Chief. He's the main protagonist here. He started a war without the support of the American people, and he didn't care.

A democratic country in the Arabic/Muslim world will significantly advance peace and prosperity in that region. The sacrifices made today will result in few sacrifices in the future. It is shameful that politicians and the media focus only on the costs and not on the benefits. There will be no peace in the middle east until justice and liberty take hold.

Saddam was one of the most brutal dictators of the 20th century – should we have just stood by? WMDs were just one reason to intervene – and was it so foolish of our administration to believe there was an active program? We know Saddam used chemical weapons on his own people, and years earlier the Israelis bombed an Iraqi nuclear reactor. It is certain these programs existed in the past, and there was evidence that they continued.

Thank you for your sacrifice, that our children may live in a better world.

I personally resent the remark

"Most Americans don’t even know anyone in the military and won’t have any direct contact with the war besides seeing uniformed soldiers in the airport"

What Americans are you talking about? I come from a family of upper class conservatives on one side and lower class blue collar workers on the other and we have veterans and current soldiers on both sides. We have lost our relatives, friends and loved ones. We have lost our moral authority with other countries. Why does everyone assume that if you are a soldiern, veteran or someone close to them, you must believe in every thing we do. I come from a long line of proud military service and we will go where our country asks us to. Don't insult most Americans by assuming that they are clueless about the military and our governments actions.

and that ladies and gents is the sole reason why i left. it has been dificult to say the least to get on with a life outside of the service. PTSD and depression have maniested themselves in several ways at various times. but the fact of the matter is that this woman is dead on about everything. i am tired of hearing folks moan and grona about how "war weary" the country is. stand ip, grab a weapon, and go on a patrol in the middle of mosul, iscondaria, or baghdad. then you will finally learn what it means to be war weary.

The War in Iraq was ill-conceived, ill-planned, and ill-executed. Over 4000 US troops dead and over 150,000 Iraqis dead (many of whom were innocent women and children). The Iraq war had nothing to do with "protecting our freedoms" and everything to do with political expediency. It was sold to a frightened American citizenry thirsty for vengeance by an administration that used trumped-up evidence of WMDs as justification. The Iraq war has now devolved into a quagmire - a military occupancy of which no side will win or could win. Ignorant Bush administration advisors so poorly understood the dynamics of the region and so poorly orchestrated the conflict that any hope of stability is now lost forever as various sectarian factions revert to their warring tribal ways.

THAT is what we are weary of. So don’t arrogantly pretend that your voice somehow counts more merely because your husband is in the military. It doesn’t. We the people will speak in November and we will vote for a President who will get us out of Iraq ASAP.

As a member of the military with 2 tours in Iraq under my belt I can still say, I am willing to go back. The way it started is for history to decide right or wrong, but the outcome's effect is still up to current and future actions. Losing will only embolden terrorists, pulling out before the job is done will guarantee future attacks in the U. S., this is basic military 101. Wether intentional or not we created a battlefield of our chosing to fight them, and thankfully its not in America. Every resource they send to Iraq is less resources they can send anywhere else, including the U. S. and they have a lot less resources then we do.

Reading some of these comments I do believe if they were in another time in history they would have supported appeasing Hitler in 1936 and demanded a pull out of the Allies after the casualties of Kasserine Pass, D-Day or the surprise counter attack at the Battle of the Bulge, which they would think Germany couldn't be beaten. But guess what Germany was beaten, and it would have taken a lot less time and casualties in 1936 too!

I think referring to 'war weary' as a civilian in these times is applicable to the constant media saturation of the event for years. Most people I talk to are sick of talking about it – paying for it (taxed or not) – and the effect its had on the Country's moral. We've watched our children's future be mounted with trillions in debt as a gift to them that will never be rid of in their (or their children's) lifetimes.

Most people don't like talking about it – it's an unpopular subject. Many feel powerless as they feel their voice has been lost in a sea of politics and regardless will never be heard. Most were against it from the beginning – and most still are. Approval ratings show this trend.

We've watch the numbers climb of those injured or killed, watched families weep on the television, and watched on the internet as they unload caskets off planes of sons,daughters,fathers,brothers, and sisters. All in the search of something that was never there.

Need now I mention the military and it's families? Need I talk of my personal experiences while I was deployed? The cost to my family and my health? No. I think the above is enough.

No one is discounting the sacrifices made by our military personnel and their families. But...yes, we as a nation have grown very weary of this war. And I beg to differ with your statement that most people don't know anyone involved in this war. In the seven years since 9/11, hardly a town or city in this country has not been touched by this war in some way...hometown reservists and guardsmen have been killed, wounded and injured, local economies have suffered through non-stop deployments, our VA hospitals are stretched to their limits...

I'm a combat veteran of the Gulf War, and a former Marine myself, but I don't assume that being war-weary is a special burden reserved for military families and military towns. As a nation, we are all paying for this war one way or another, and as a nation we have every right to be sick and tired of it.

To view your burden as necessary and inevitable shows a complete submission to authoritarian power. If this were Tsarist Russia then you may have a valid argument, but a key staple of Western democracy for the past 200 years has been dissent and choice – like the choice to be upset when a small group decides to invade a sovereign country.

My dad served our country for over 21 years, was in two wars, nearly lost his life, missed out on nearly all of my 8 siblings births. I am not griping about the war.......the bible says there would be wars and rumors of wars. I fully stand behind our military and President Bush for fighting for our freedom and others. There are always going to be those who gripe and complain, but most of our soldiers enlisted on their own to better themselves as well as our country. Those that are against the war only see their needs, live in a greedy state of mind. What happened to the SPIRIT OF 9/11? It is hard for all parties involved to continue this fight but we must keep the good fight, for there will be VICTORY! We must put our trust in God, not MAN!
Thanks for your letter. May God bless you and your family.

I'm sorry Ms. Sanderlin, but the message I get from reading your blog is that we, the civilian residents of the USA, have no right to complain about the futility and failure of the Iraq war, to worry about the spiraling path of what McCain/Bush refer to as an endless war, to raise our voices to call for an end to this war.

And you ask that we honor the sacrifice and commitment of the soldiers and their familys, which we should do, but also to fall in line with the same obedience that a soldier would in taking an order from a commanding officer, in this case the politicians who continue to push forward into war.

I CANNOT DO THAT. I must stand up and call for an end to this war. My heart goes out to all those families dealing with wounded or deceased family members who given their life for their country. But I won't stand back and allow others to meet the same fate, in order to sanctify the sacrifice of previous soldiers. My sacrifice and commitment to this country is to ensure that other young men do not meet the same fate as many of those you and your husband have known.

I have not enlisted because I won't fight for a war I don't believe in, imagine that. I won't fight in Iraq because it is an illegal war. I am sure that had I enlisted for college benefits or some other reason prior to 2003 I would have served my obligation and, if I survived, got out at my first opportunity. I am also confident that if I was of military age in 1941 I would have enlisted at my first opportunity.

That said, their are plenty of pro war people (Republicans) in this country that are hopeful we will be occupying Iraq for decades and want our country to bomb Iran and their men, women and children into dust starting yesterday. Why don't these people (Republicans) enlist? They actually believe in occupying Iraq and forcing their people to live the way our government wants them to. I realize that the percentage of these people (Republicans) are down from earlier this decade now but even if there were only 10% who felt this way (there are more) we are talking about millions of (Republican) enlistees. I guess, like Dick Cheney, when it was their time to serve they had "other priorities".

The truth is there were plenty of people (Republicans) willing to support this war as long as they didn't have to fight it. Even now, the 10%-20% who still don't get it (Republicans) and support their country right or wrong are not enlisting. I think it is because they are cowards. Only cowards would be part of initiating a bloody, misconceived, illegal war and then not step up to fight it. Cowards.

continued...
forgotten that Iraq was under an evil dictator, forgotten they were sheltering weapons of mass destruction in the underground (just as Iran and other coutnries...), forgotten that men, women and children were being murdered by the thousands.

Democrats have a hard time standing up to decisions made when the going gets tough, or when an outcome may take longer than we thought necessary. Fighting against the bad guy calls for us to do whatever it takes, and keep at it, otherwise, we will fail.

Fail, not only as a nation, but as the greater whole, democracy and world peace crumbles all around us.

Our nation is at a crossroads, and all we can do is pray for each other and the choices we make come November.

I could not agree more. My nephew has been deployed twice and still no request for sacrifice at home. I have and will always be committed to a draft. Every American, at the age of 18, should put in 2 years of service to their country in any one of a dozen areas. We should all be paying more in taxes to finance this war on terror. None of this comes for free and that is what we have been sold. If there were a draft, all Americans would awaken to the call, when old men, who never served in harms way, cry out for the expenditure of our brave young people.

I salute you and your family for your service to our country. I also agree that little was asked of the rest of us beyond the absurdity of spending more money.

I also agree that more people need to either willing sign up for the military or non-military service to our country.

This war for us however needs to end and end now. It needs to become the burden of the Iraqis people. Their money, their blood, their moment of commitment.

I am war weary. Weary of ruined lives. Weary of missed opportunity for our nation. I cringe every time I hear of a new casualty of American or Iraqi life. Even more so from a war that should never have happened.

Again I honor you and your family and all military families for your service and hope that you are indeed wrong on how many more deployments are needed, for your sake and the sake of our nation.

I believe we are war weary due to the utter mishandling of the war on terror. We are spending billions of dollars on a country that had nothing to do with 9/11. Our President lied and our country will feel the effects of Cowboy Diplomacy for decades. After 9/11 the entire country wanted to do something but instead we were told to go shopping. I think were weary because we could have repaved every road, rebuilt every bridge, remodeled every school, and built new University's with the money going to rebuild Iraq.
As for the line about most Americans not knowing anyone in the service, I find that hard to believe. I can give you over 20 names of people I know serving over seas right now and another 40 who are college aged and serving domestically. The youth of the US are finally waking up because our friends, neighbors, relatives, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters are fighting and dying.
I think people are trying to serve in other roles, such as being teachers, police, firefighters, ect. We serve our country. Its a free choice we make, and our healthcare isn't as good as the military's.
Our troops should have the equipment they need to get the job done, but they shouldn't be in Iraq in the first place. I will add your husband to the prayers I say for family and friends overseas, and I hope he comes home soon.

Well...as a veteran...I can somewhat understand where you are coming from. That said I don't agree with the bitter-tinged, passive aggressive makeup of your article if you truly intended on getting people to sign up. Adding to that it just isn't a common characteristic of the "every-day" American these days to make such a sacrifice, even in situations where it actually is warranted. Those individuals who have that makeup either have already enlisted (in some form of service; police, fire fighter, military, etc.) or are waiting until they are old enough to.

No, I think, should you actually want to do the soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen a service it would be to get the civilian populace to do the one thing they can do and are more likely to do which is vote. As I said, I'm a veteran (albeit a fairly young guy) and my cousin's husband's Hummer caught an IED in Iraq. Luckily he lived with minor injuries after a scare and parapeligia (turned out to be a pinched nerve). I get it. I also learned to get over some of my expectations of the civilian population because, as you alluded to, they just don't and can't get it until it lands in their lap.

They also get defensive it point that out in a "military blunt" way which you and I are accustomed to. You have to Oprah or Dr. Phil it to them.

I'm an active duty officer and I disagree with your article. It seems that a few military members and spouses feel they've cornered the market on patriotism – I see it periodically as a pilot. Ironically and sadly, some of these folks have sacrificed the most for their duty, yet they fail to use their own judgement when it comes to the validity of their country's actions. It's ok to be in the military and disagree with your government, but it's not ok to look down upon those who question their government. Questioning government is how we became a free nation. Spending most of your married life deployed in Iraq doesn't make you a patriot. Getting killed by "the enemy" (whoever you think that is) doesn't make you a hero. Standing up for what you know is right is what makes you a hero, and the war in Iraq is far from right.

You ask for others to "pitch in" because you are "tired of the work but not weary of the mission".

Well, I am tired of the mission – a mission buiilt on lies, misinformation, and, worst of all, ego.

We all have a choice to serve in the Armed Forces or not. I choose not. Your husband, and you by marriage, have chosen to serve. You chose to have children. You chose to place yourself and your family at risk.

We did not make this choice for you. I do not expect others to relieve me of the responsibility of my choices, no matter how difficult. It IS my responsibility to change paths if I believe that myself or my family is in peril.

If you believe that your family deserves a "break" then give it one.

I'm very sorry you've been told we're "war weary" the media needs to shut-up!! I love war, it's America's favorite past time. Just flip on the tube and take a look. We just can't seem to get enough of it. Hell, we're still doing reruns of WWI & WWII and since we can't do reruns of the Civil War... we settle for re-enactments. Totally sick society???! YOU BETCHA!!

War is a pitiful answer for a problem. How barbaric must we be? We cant get along so we shoot and blow each other up. Get informed, the government is not your friend and nor is war, unless of course you have stocks in the weapons production business. When will the killing stop?

Three steel buildings have ever fallen from fire...all on the same day, all owned by the same man...

hmm?

I see your point, and I see the civilians point as well. I'm an Army wife too. My husband has been deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan. He's war weary like everyone else, including me! There's a lot of questions up in the air about how this war started and why we're still in it, etc. My husband didn't like the reason from the beginning but its his job to do it so he's got to do it.
I understand everyone's frustration both military /civilain side and its heart breaking. All we need to do is to stop pointing fingers to one another and help each another!
I'll be praying for your family, for your husband and his Co to return safely to American soil.

I have nothing but support for those who decide to volunteer for the armed services. I chose to volunteer for inner city teaching services in hopes of improving the ever increasing dropout rate, literacy levels, and self advocacy skills for many who come from broken families. However at a time of budget short falls we are having a difficult time retaining teachers, maintaining our health benefits, and reaching many students falling through the cracks. So those who are looking for public service we need more people in education to assist with our growing disparity in education. And remember educational solutions are always better than military solutions in solving local, national and global issues.

I did not understand what this article is all about and what you tried to gain out of it rather then pissed my feeling off while reading it. This is ridiculous. While the entire world is condemning these stupid wars and economy is collapsing because of these unnecessary wars according to the world bank executives and rest of the world, you are still advising to go for it. Interestingly you guys have a child, hmm! What about these hundreds ones that were just killed last week? Are these children your enemies? Do you know how many children and innocent people were killed in the last few years? For what? When was the last time you traveled aboard and had a chance to talk to the people over there? You do not even have to initiate any kind of conversation, just mention where are you coming from and you will face the reality. I am not just war weary like you said in this article, I am sick of those who are still promoting any war. I guess you have different kind of enemy that rest of us do not. How come you do not see the other side of it? What about the 36% children without any kind of health insurance, education system, unemployment, catastrophic economic situation etc. Who is going to pay for it? You asked: "What are you complaining about?" . Who is complaining about what? There is a very serious issues with all those who are still asking the same question. If you still do not have an answer to your question, I would highly recommend you to meet and talk to many good people to see what they have to say about the war. I could spent a day to tell you just opposite of it, but it would be pure waste of time and I do not want to do it. I do pay and I will always pay the highest respect to all killed children and innocent people world wide no matter what. I have a child too and like to see other childrens live and happy. War will destroy many of them and my question to you is: What are you complaining about?".

WAR IS BAD!

doesn't matter how we got there "x" amount of years ago, we are there. THe armed forces are there. It was all the headlines until a month or so ago when the media got the new story "the economy". How fast the wars become back page news.
whether you think we should be at war or not we are and the military families are taking the front lines. No matter what your side is the common thread is everyone whats it over sooner rather than later. So don't continue to rehash how we got here (thats for the historians). Just allow the military to do there thing. They have done it countless times in the past (succesfully) and will do it again. Because they themselfs prefer to be home with the their families

Four years in Naval Special Forces earned me the right to an inside opinion. Killing foreign nationals for political gains is not protection. This has not been a defensive conflict, it is politics alone. Anyone who has an appetite for this kind of killing should be marked as a violent participant. People who have learned the value of a peaceful coexistence are weary. Many more people fear the fascist government that is building around us, in the name of safety from terror. Perhaps one day your soul may feel peace.

I'm weary of the war. Weary of having to pay for a lesson in futility.
I want your husband home, my cousins, my friends.

On the front lines, what would it mean if you saw no value in what we're doing. I believe in some ways, we do a great good, but in the most important ways, we have damaged a volatile region possibly irreprobably. We should not have gone into Iraq, and so of course I'm weary.
No one disparages the people in the military, but I dispise the arguement that we cannot disagree with the actions taken in Iraq because we are "un-patriotic whiners".
We all serve ma'am, but apparently my service as a school teacher is not the right kind.

Thank you for putting me in my place.

God bless you and your family, and your sacrifice is one that none of us could even begin to imagine making.

Our forces belong in Afghanistan, not in Iraq finishing off the family feud between the Husseins and the Bushs..

First of all, I, nor my sons, will enlist in an army that is led by these morons. I will not suffer for the mistakes of the commanders of the last 8 years.

Second, you denigrate every person that does an honest day's work. Where do you think the money and material comes from for your husband. That's right, a laborer on the home-front spent their day stitching together the body armor that will keep our soldiers safe.

Third, there isn't a special "Military" class citizen. You're a citizen. You have the same rights and responsibilities of any other citizen. We are citizens that all have the same stake in our governments decisions. If you or someone in your family volunteered to join our armed forces, I respect that, and I thank you for your service, but that doesn't mean I respect you any more than the bus driver that helped me get to work this morning.

Thank you for writing this. I am a 0311 grunt in the Marines and finally someone has spoken for us. All of you who are bashing her and are saying, "paid by the Army" and BS like that dont know anything. Until you have been there and seen these people and realized that you need to help them you wont understand. Of course you civilians are entitled to your own opinion but your opinion is based on things you see in the media and what you read on the internet so you are extremley ill imformed. Thanks for this article it speaks for alot of the men in my company.

I think that I speak for many, many Americans when I tell you that I am sick to hell of spending the money. This war costs us billions and yet rarely do you hear the connection made between the ever worsening economy and the vast amounts of money, with no hope whatsoever of any return ever, that we spend on the war. I speak mainly of Iraq here, the Afghanistan situation was far more necessary, and has cost far less. And for what it was worth, I suspect you are wrong about most americans not knowing anyone in our military. The american military is over 1 Million strong, even if the force in Iraq and Afghanistan is only a fraction of that. Most of us know many soldiers. I am young, so I have many friends in Afghanistan and Iraq, who have been there or are there at this very moment. But I have never supported the war in Iraq. Stop spending my money to kill.

War and the "collateral damage" of dead innocent I think it what some American's of weary of. That and the fact the premise for War in Iraq was false.

You have an American commander in Afghanistan stating that we can not kill our way to victory there...and to many Americans the "just" war is the one in Afghanistan.

What I would like American Military Families to keep in mind is that, even though many Americans are against the War in Iraq, they are supportive of the troops. There have not been ugly protests against the troops likw America saw during the Veitnam era. That is something to be thankful of.

Troops don't make policy or make the decision to wage war.

The American people in general have become extremely spoiled. By and large we don't know the meaning of the word "sacrifice". Think back to what the general population had to go through during WWII. Most people today would start screaming at the very thought that they would be asked to sacrifice similar to the WWII era restrictions. By and large the only people who have sacrified anything for the ongoing war are the members of the military and their families. A smaller and smaller percentage of our population is carrying the responsibility for defending our country. How much longer can this go on? Too many young men and women think they have better things to do than serve their country. That is a sad state of affairs. One day down the road we are going to need our young men and women to fight a future war, and they may not be there. What happens then? As someone who has worn our country's uniform for almost 30 yours, I find it remarkable that everyone, even Democrats, have forgotten John F. Kennedy's famous words: "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country".

Leslie,

It's a little callous of you and your ilk to attack Rebekah for her view. Do you really have a personal stake in this war? Have you held you son or husband (or daughter or wife) just before they stepped on a big bird to take them away to a place where people are trying to kill them? If so, go ahead, you have a voice, if not, shut up and listen. Can you really say that the world is not a better place without Saddam? Can you really say that the efforts made in Iraq to bring peace and tolerance are bad? Yes, there have been mistakes and as a result, Iran gets a little more attention than it deserves (little piss ant country).
Do you understand that there are large numbers of people who WANTED TO KILL US even before we went to Iraq? Do you know that the only thing they understand is FORCE? Do you think you can talk a fanatic trying to convert you with a sword into going away? Call me a hater, but I am not the one doing the hating. My religion has learned that forced conversion is no conversion at all. Instead, we use a "hearts and minds" approach, much like the efforts in Iraq that is largely ignored.
Deny that our troops are not working to improve the quality of life for the people of Iraq. Deny that they are not working to provide a voice to ALL Iraqi people. Deny that our troops don't have a strategy.

I"M TIRED OF ALL THE RHETORIC TOSSED AROUND BY PEOPLE THAT DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON.

BTW, my "voice" is coming from 21 years in the USN... I know a thing or two about hanging on to my loved ones for that extra second or two.

Rebekah,

Thank-you for your enormous sacrafice and thank your husband for his extended service to our country. No matter what our views, we remain grateful and extremely hopeful for peace in that region. I can understand why you feel the way you do and I can tell you that being so close to the situation, you will naturally hold a different perspective than alot of us.

I'm just going to say, we probably should not have entered into this war in the first place. We were misled. In fact, everything we were told in the beginning has turned out to be a lie. The death toll continues to rise and the cost is more than any one of us could ever imagine. Then there are the other very unpopular issues that surround the war–the politics, shall we say?

You may think no one understands, but take a minute and think about something. Almost every generation has had it's war. I was growing up in the Vietnam era. My father served in WWII overseas. I know this affected him throughout his life. His father served in WWI, WWII and Korea. He lied about his age in WWI–something many did so they could serve their country. My husband served in combat in Vietnam. He still to this day has flashbacks, nightmares and nightsweats. So far, we have had only one family member serve in Iraq, but it's not over yet. Now I am not saying I have ever quite experienced what you are going through, your strength is something I truly admire. It just seems to me that it is so unfair for so few to carry this burden and to be continually sent back again and again. If we're truly committed to this cause then it's time to share the burden and reinstate the draft. Then it has to be fair and accross the board–no deferments except for medical.

We should be investing in our military and provide the best of training. We should take good care of them when they return. That is a small price to pay for their sacrafice. We need to be very selective and chose our battles wisely and never get into a situation where reasons change on a daily basis. That way, we can all avoid becoming "weary".

Just because we citizens are "war weary" (tho we have no right to be, you say), doesn't mean we don't value and honor the sacrifices the military family has made. Personally, I'm also very weary of having legitimate criticism (also called free speech) equated with dishonoring the military or being unpatriotic.

You say your children are emotionally damaged (and I don't doubt that) but you're not "tired of the mission". Perhaps it's time to re-think your priorities. "I was just doing my job" has not been acceptable for many decades now. Blind, deaf and dumb service benefits no one, particularly the military.

I as well understand why you are upset with the American public in general, however, how are we supposed to sit around and believe that we can win something that was a lie to begin with. Wars are started and controlled by people that profit from both sides. History has proven this over and over again and until we decide as humans, not Americans to stop this behavior from happening anymore we are doomed to an existence of pain and suffering. I am war weary for the American soldiers as well as the over 1 million Iraqis that have been killed. I may not be directly involved in these conflicts but my heart aches for the innocent and I am sick to death of the war criminals, military industrial complex, and bankers that are responsible for these times. I feel for your family and hope that you will all be together again soon.

Rebekah,

Thank you for a well written, heartfelt piece. My son, Thank God, is sailing back to the States as we speak after his second trip to the "NAG". You are EXACTLY right about the "sacrifices" of our fellow country men.

What I want to say, however, is how many armchair quarterbacks out there that can now, say the war was a mistake. History will determine if O.I.F. was a mistake..many years from now. But for all you that never had a family member that had to go...don't EVER call the effort a "waste". Rebekah, your husbands service was not a mistake.

Allen

"We need to 'win' in Iraq, or my husband's time will have been wasted." Selfish.

P.S. If we find Osama or WMDs in Iraq, I'll buy you a coke.

Good lord, could you BE any more smug?

"Many of you believe that fighting this war is optional. You seem to think our nation could make everything okay by just sitting this one out."

It WAS an "optional" war. It has NOT made anything "better". And the minute our country is truly threatened by a nation or group that can actually be attacked militarily, you'll see all the folks you need signing up to fight, and a nation in full support. But Bush-Cheney's "nation building" idea was sold with a lie, and paid for with a lot of blood and pain, yours included.

"Our leaders didn’t think you would be willing to make real sacrifices, so they never bothered to ask." Lady, your smugness and superiority are disgusting. And THAT'S what I'm "Weary" of – so many people unwilling to face the fact that their losses are pretty meaningless, attacking everyone else as "surrenderers" and "defeat-o-crats". Sheesh.

Rebekah,

Someone needs to say this. There is no honor in this war. We are an invading army. The lives of our men and women have been lost in vain. It will be many years before we have any hope of restoring our leadership in the world. Tell me, what country in their right mind would follow us after this disaster.

Unbelievable. I am a vet. And you're whining appalls me.

Buyer's Remorse? How dare you say that billions and billions of our tax dollars that we have contributed, or rather have been taken from us, is buyer's remorse. In your opinion we should just sit back and let the government spend our tax dollars as it see's fit and say nothing. You're asking for citizens to pitch in. WE PITCH IN EVERYDAY! Well this is America, if you have forgotten, and as a military family I respect you and the sacrifices that you have laid down and continue to live with. I know those sacrifices first hand. But don't tell me or the American people that we haven't contributed anything to this particular conflict.. I served my country and still do. And now whenever I get paid the gov takes a big cut to fund everything from pork to war and I should say nothing? You're damn right I'm war weary! We're all war weary. I'm not sure what military community you're inviolved in, but saying that the military community rolls its eyes when people say they are war weary flat out isn't true. Soldiers and their families carry the larger burden of this war, but its what you signed up for. You married a military man. You knew the sacrifice going in. Buyer's remorse and deadbeat dad's? I guess we know how you feel about the people you are supposedly fighting for. Its nice to know your sacrifice comes with strings attached.

You are dupes. You've been duped by the inplementation of fear into the American culture. Fear controls our politics, our government, our education system, our military, our economy. This war is unjust – plain and simple.

You mock non-military folk as being "war weary". For your information, This country belongs to "war weary" folk too – in fact there are many more of us than there are you. Who are you to speak so? How dare you mock the very people who make your livelyhood possible? You get housing allowances, bonuses, educational benefits, PX rights, pensions...many things unavailable to us "war weary" peons.

You knew what you were committing to when an oath was taken to defend. Why is this a surprise to you? You didn't have to reenlist and take thos ejuicy bonuses.

Then you go on to assert that we should take over for you, because your job is dangerous? Don't like what you've gotten your self into? Sure, just complain instead of doing something about it...oh, wait, isn't that what you're telling us to do?

Thank you for your perspective! My son dreamed of being a Marine since he was seven years old and is now in his second year of service. My grandfather – an immigrant – joined the Army and fought against his homeland (Germany) in WWII – he was captured and spent some time in a German prison before coming home. I watched in awe as he rose every morning to salute the flag. He understood what America is about. So when my son dreamed of being a Marine I understood. There is so much more to being an American than just living here. It is an ideal. It is knowing that you can voice your opinion – however ludicrous it may be! I also understand why we feel the need to share this ideal with other countries and why we feel so passionately about helping others experience what we have.

Do I agree with all of the aspects of this war? Of course not. But we are there now. The last thing we need to do is raise the white flag. Imagine how we would be received by other countries if we did that. It can be compared to pulling a fish hook out of your lip – you certainly can't pull it back – you have to follow through!!!

Thanks again for shedding a light on this. May God bless you and yours!

Rebekah,

You seem to justify this war by virtue of your husband's participation. This is a logical fallacy.

What you should be asking of our leaders is if they gave sufficient thought and preparation before sending your husband into harm's way. Or were they careless and reckless with the lives of America's soldiers and the Iraqi people?

It's not often that I get upset about something I read online. It's almost impossible to get me to actually write a reply in a comment section like this, but this article actually managed to make me angry. The author is both myopic and self righteous in her beliefs, and it's amazing that she seems unable to imagine the average American citizen being capable of having the empathy necessary to understand military family's sacrifices. It's obvious that she's been sold on the fallacious belief that if you don't support the war you can't support the troops. If there is any credit you have to give to the Republican political apparatchiks it is their ability to manipulate belief systems through a finely tuned propaganda machine. The current administration has manipulated the public, and apparently military family bloggers, to believe that support for the troops requires support for the war. I have several friends in the military that have fallen prey to this powerful meme as well. They hold your opinion hostage. "If you don't share my belief, than you must hate the troops, you are lazy, fat, unpatriotic, and unamerican." They turn an exceptionally complicated issue in to something one dimensional. As many other commenters have stated before me, it has nothing to do with our support of the troops, and everything to do with how we got in to this war, how it was conducted by the administration, what it has done to our country, and what is doing to help destroy our economy.

I don't need your judgement.

Oh, and by the way, lets bomb Iran or your a commie.

Well said Rebekah. The burden of many is being carried by a few.

I am dissapointed by several of these responses from people who obviously do not understand the dedication and capabilities of our enemies. The past cannot be changed. Success in Afghanistan & Iraq are necessary for our future. The cost of failure would be our demise (and return those peoples to oppressive regimes). We cannot tolerate safehaven for al-Qaeda, its likes, or its supporters. The world is too small today. If we don't continue to hunt them, they will be back with more force... For those of you who compare it with Vietnam, there are some similarities. There are thousands of reasons we cannot accept failure. For Vietnam, there are over 58,000 reasons written in black marble on the Washington Mall. Both conflicts aimed to provide people with a free & democratic homeland. But there is a bigger difference – the stakes are much greater this time. The Al-Qaeda & Radical Islamic idealogies call for worldwide Fundamentalist Islamic Law & its opponents execution. This is far more extreme than the ideas of the USSR & the world is much smaller today.

For those of you who are so idealist to think we can quit these conflicts – I envy your blissful ignorance. But when you protest & call yourselves patriots – I am ashamed you cowardly idiots are my countrymen.

No one asked your husband to fight a war that neither protects this country or advances its interests. He volunteered himself, his wife and his children so that he can go off and slay dragons like a modern day Don Quixote. The only effect your husband's fighting has on my life is that instead of helping the poor in this country, giving children here much needed health care, protecing our environment, or giving people in this country tax relief, we are being forced to support a group of self-righteous and self-proclaimed patriots who are more interested in helping Iraqis than Americans.

If your husband was helping this country, then he deserves my respect and support. Until then, I owe no deference to a volunteer.

Fighting a war does not automatically entitle someone to respect. In fact, it is one of the least Christian things a man can do – the Catholic Church has deplored this war since its start as both un-Christain and as the antithesis of Jesus's example. The fact that he is dismissing his role as a father and wife only tells me one thing – he cares more about fighting a war based on false pretenses than his own backyard.

I agree that the sacrifices made by military families is unimaginable. Are you suggesting though that there is no appropriate way to debate our government's policy on the war? That's an even sadder situation.

I couldn't disagree with you more. Remember that there was not a draft. Men and women in the military joined voluntarily. I don't think a firefighter is making a sacrifice when he goes into a burning building; he is doing the job he chose.

I find it pathetic when military families expect sympathy for the separation that parents endure from children. There is this little thing called birth control, which prevents you from having children. If you choose to have children in your circumstances, you aren't entitled to any sympathy for their traumas and emotional damage.

The best thing that could happen for the military would be if everyone in it stopped reenlisting and no-one new enlisted. It would be a sign that people are waking up to the fact that they are being used as cannon fodder.

Rebekah,

I think you are a tremendously courageous person, and you write very eloquently. I really enjoyed your article, and have sent it to a number of friends and family members.

For those of you that choose to spew the same old tired mantra, "Bush lied, we shouldn't even be in this war..." or some other varied version of "Monday morning quarterbacking," I have a guarantee for you: you will never be able to change someone's opinion who supports our troops, their families AND their mission, just as they would obviously never be able to pull your head out, so that you could see the world for the truly dangerous place it is.

I believe in freedom of speech, as it is a right guaranteed to you – secured by people like Rebekah's husband. But I also believe that when you exercise those rights to the point where you sound completely socialistic – people get really sick of hearing it.

All the angry comments by anti-war people just confirm my anxieties that I'm terrified of the United States ever being in the position where we must depend on the average citizens to fight. The greatest generations is disappearing and our elders are now the "self-almighty" 1960s generation. Unfortunately many younger people of my generation have been fooled and coerced into believing the self-loathing rhetoric of this destructive, selfish and numerous bunch. I'm a veteran of the Iraq war, and I'm proud. I get it. I could write a dissertation why I get it, but it wouldn't do any good. I would just get over-shouted. However, I've accepted that most of the public doesn't get it, and probably never will. I just keep my fingers crossed that our battles are always fought by volunteers.

I too am unhappy with president Bush lying us into a war that we shouldn't be in, but to hear some brain dead idiot call the president of our country a moron makes my blood boil.
The statement, theres no shame in waving a white flag is one of the most stupid statements I've ever heard somebody make
As far as your two sons, if they are anything like you then they should stay home because being called an american hero is the least of their worries.

Rebekah, our prayers are with you and your family.

Mrs. Sanderlin,
I appreciate your openness and honesty in letting those of us who know little about military life into your family's struggles and fears. I wish the best for your family.

I must, however, address the phrase "war weary." You are right to suggest that America has little right to be war weary. I believe most Americans will have to sacrifice much more before things are again returned to right. I am not myself, however, war weary and do not think it's the right phrase to describe much of America.

I am war disgusted. War appalled. War outraged. I am war-repulsed at the idea that so many heroic families such as your own would be asked to give so much in support of a cause so tenuous, so irresponsible. I am war-terrified that such an unnecessary fight is only destroying the diplomatic and military power of the United States abroad. I am war-sick to my stomach that so much is being sacrificed for so little reason.

I'm a marine mom..........I have three sons in the USMC all three served in Iraq at the same time..........talkimg about being stressed out I was a wreck...........They are in the states now my oldest 28 with 3 year old twin boys will go back to Iraq next fall............his twin brothers are 25 all 3 are sgt's..........I'm very proud of them.......This is what they chose to do right after 911 when everyone else was running they were signing up to defend our counrty keep us safe and try to help the innocent in Iraq.... I loved your article..."GOD BLESS ALL MILITARY AND THEIR FAMILIES"

Rebekah – thank you so much for the sacrifice your family and you are making. Unlike so many of the bloggers that have left messages, you not only understand the sacrifice our military is making but also the reason behind it. For some reason many of them miss your points about how Afghans ask your husband to stay or ask him to adopt their children.

I am amazed by statements like "Todd B" that "We should not and cannot change the world and the mind’s of its 6+ billion citizens by killing everyone that wants to kill us." So what does he think we should just set here and let them come after us?

I am thankful for military families like yours that understand there really is a war against terrorism going on here – we can fight it there or we can fight it here.

Please know that the vast majority of Americans believe in what your husband is doing and support you! Unfortunately those with other ideologies are the vocal ones.

War Weary?

I am weary of sending billions of dollars of taxpayer money into Iraq each month, which had nothing to do with The War on Terror in the first place.

I am weary of the stories of people that I know/KNEW and friends of friends who were either injured or died in Iraq.

I am weary of the mentality that we are somehow going to militarily/magically create a glowing beacon of democratic light in the middle of a region that, historically speaking, prefers war. They have been cutting off each other’s heads for thousands of years and we're just going to walk in and be considered liberators?

I am weary of the mentality that we should not talk to and isolate countries that we don't agree with, like bullies on a spherical playground.

I am weary of how much American blood has been sent to be spilled in Iraq while Osama bin Laden (you remember him, right? Tall guy, beard, hates America) is still out there eating goat-milk Cheetos in an Afghan/Pak cave.

Am I weary of war? Damn right…but not as weary as I am of the idiots who wrote our team’s playbook. American blood is and should always be our most sacred treasure, and it should never be squandered under false pretenses of freedom as the current administration has shamefully done.

-R

I think that we as Americans need to support all of our military. I have several friends with children going or already in the military. That's exactly why I want us to come home. These children are those I personally watched grow up as if they were my own. I am sorry that your burden seems to be more than your fair share, but that's why I support the fight to bring our troops home and begin the process of repairing what the last 8 years has destroyed.

I appreciate and honor the sacrifices our nation's military men and woman have made for our country.

As a voting, tax-paying citizen of this country I have every right to oppose a war that hasn't done a single thing to make our nation a safer place to live. The only thing this war has done is to cost us many billions of dollars a year, created an increasingly fearful populace and given the government unecessary license to invade the private lives of its own citizens. We have less freedoms than we did seven years ago for absolutely no gains. Thousands of our nation's men and woman have been killed or injured in an illegal war.

Your husband, for whatever reasons, CHOSE to join military. When you married your husband, you CHOSE to follow that life. Neither of you were forced into the life you lead with all its inherit risks and benefits. And I will support your choices, but that doesn't mean I have to support the war.

I also think you're dead wrong when you make the sweeping generalization that most people in America don't know anyone in the military. People in the military come from all towns, counties, states, races and walks of life. I will make the sweeping generalization that nearly every community in the US has sons and daughters that serve in our nation's armed forces. How short-sighted of you to assume otherwise. Myself alone, a close friend was in the Air Guard, a former boss was career navy, my father-in-law was career Air Force.

So, get off your high horse and maybe spend your time and energy trying to get your husband home and sending a message to our nation's politicians that the lives of our military's men and women shouldn't be lightly thrown away in costly war that for all intensive purposes has become another Vietnam.

Unfortunately, I must agree with those who say that we are weary because we are in a pointless war that none of us ever helped to create. We're also weary of being disliked and even hated by the rest of the world, and of opinions of the individual are formed by the opinions of our government.

I have a sister in the military, and I hate that she signed up. I don't want to lose a sister any more than you want to lose a husband, and I'm sure that many more feel the same. Please, for the love of our country and for our loved ones, stop your husband from reenlisting. If anything, at least one of us should be able to keep someone near and dear...

We are war weary, but not because of the war, it is due to the24hour coverage day after day. I truly think it is the infighting here at home that makes these wars so difficult. The use of the media and the Internet give some people huge voices that would have never otherwise been heard. I think people are just so tired they think, end the wars and these people will go away.
God Bless you and I pray he keeps your husband and his comrades safe!

Rebekah,
I'm sorry for your sacrifices, but Iraq is an evil and amoral war. It is also my duty as a patriot to question my government when I feel it has done wrong.

How dare you try to law a guilt trip on me! When your family signed up to serve a government, they should have considered this. The citizens of this country are under no obligation to mindlessly back bad decisions.

I'm actually angry at you, and would say much worse if I didn't realize the emotional trauma you are going through having your husband risking his life. Poor simple woman, but the world needs ditch diggers, eh?

Rebekah,

I am greatful that you are bold enough to write and publish this article.
I am sorry that there are so many insensitive individuals who get to call themselves Americans by right. I have served in the Army and the ARNG for 23 years. I know my share of families that are without a parent because one of them has been called to serve and did not return. I know many broken families that are the result of the stress caused by the deployments and a conflicting world around them that does not understand what they are going through.

I applaud you; I stand and salute you and your husband. We are a nation that has removed ourselves from who we were when this great nation was formed. We are so self consumed that we don’t even realize that we are guiding ourselves toward self destruction while seeking the next easy way to get what we want without the cost or effort t obtain it.
Gone are the days of work first buy later. Earn it to own it. If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it. Unfortunately we have also fled away from values of a God fearing country and protecting what our forefathers fought so diligently for. We are too quick to toss their souls aside and tarnish their sacrifice for us in the name of convenience and temporary prosperity.

Few are left who are willing to pick up the sword and defend our great nation. I have served before, I am no 49 years old but I would serve again if calls like you have given were to fall on deaf ears. God has blessed our country beyond any of our possibly understanding. Complacency has become the norm. if we are not careful, we will wake up soon and find ourselves at the mercy of all the countries we have farmed all our industries and infrastructure out to. I for one will stand with you, pray for your family, your husband and his valiant defense of all we hold true along with all of our military that stands ready to protect this country, it’s right to say in “God we trust” and to be a nation that is free for all who live within its borders.
We must also do our part to be sure we elect officials to run this country who also hold these same values without wavering.

God Bless,
Russ

I greatly appreciate your passion and candor. I admit that I am, in a sense, removed from the reality of families of deployed military members during this time. I was against the war from the beginning. I'm still against it. I want it to end. But please understand that although I am neither an active duty personnel nor a veteran, I do have some foresight about costs of conflict – whatever it is – to families, communities, and society. So much that I decided to become a psychologist. I now work exclusively with veterans. I say this because it hurts me when someone tells me that since I am against the war that I neither understand nor support the troops – or worse, that I should fight myself. I am fighting, and many others are, too. Fighting to keep this war (and other wars) from taking more casualties then they have to – physically, emotionally, spiritually, and socially. There are many people who do care – I promise.

I salute your service, but I think it may have colored your understanding of the relationship between the military and civilian communities. You may be tired of hearing of opposition to the war in Iraq because it's essential that you take the direction of your commanders–without question. You owe your survival in the field to this principal, and I understand why you adhere to it.

In the civilian world, it's our duty to ensure that the military is only deployed in circumstances where our national security is at risk or can be significantly enhanced. The war in Iraq has never met that standard. Those of us who questioned the strategy in Iraq had our patriotism questioned–and worse. In return for the silence of the majority, we've; spent $ 700 billion, lost more than 4,000 American lives, more than 50,000 Iraqi lives, destroyed our economy, become distracted from our mission in Afghanistan, and seen a decline in our world standing.

We're weary of seeing our country's civilian leaders betray the military by deploying them in a foolish war. We're weary of this misuse of the great name of America. We're weary of being lied to by a bunch of hacks who don't have the simple courage to admit they were wrong.

Civilian families haven't sacrificed the way you and your family have sacrificed, but we also have a sacred duty as citizens to demand our government work for the interests of our nation. This is hardly an us versus them dynamic. I have more than a half dozen close friends and family members in various arms of the military. I'm certainly not going to be silent when I believe their service is being mistreated and their lives being sacrificed for lies.

Tsk tsk,

Pull out of Iraq. Watch the genocide, the attrocoties. Darfur will be nothing compaired to the onslaught. Just like Viet Nam a generation of men women and children slaughtered. (Cambodia)

How many more buildings need to fall before some people realize that this is a fight to the death.

It will be fought. Sooner, or later. USA or abroad. Civillians or Militarily.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you," and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a weapon and stand a post.

Rebekah,

First off, fantastic article. As a military wife, most of America does not understand our sacrifices and it urks me to NO end when people say crap like " well then don't re-enlist".. hey great attitude.. how about no one enlists..we have NO army... no defense and then we could all be wearing burkhas in a few years... I bet Hollywood could get Chanel or Zac Posen to make cute ones to match their little dogs!! When men (like readers Daniel and Paul make those comments) it makes me realize that their manhood is probably just being challenged because they haven't stepped to the plate to defend or even serve their country.
Personally, I'm all for mandatory service for everyone so they can understand the sacrifices. Italy, Israel, Germany, Korea, and so many others do it... look at it as free career training and little bit of humility for the spoiled brats out there that appreciate nothing!!
Finally, I see comments by people like Charles (and so many other liberals) " we destroyed a country that did nothing to us" referring to Iraq and then in the next statement he's whining about human rights. Well kids..you can't have it both ways! Sadaam was one of the worst human rights violators ever. Others want to get involved in the Sudan. DO they think that would be all about the humanitarian work? What about all the red tape with the Muslims over there?? Once again people screaming about helping others...and not knowing ANYTHING about the real situation.... so are most Americans uninformed....YEP... why do I know these things? Because my husband is military... so read up before you run your mouth or vote... want a socialist in office that waves a white flag and rolls over to the muslim world.. by all means vote for Obama... want a man that supports the military and will ALWAYS do what's right for this nation?? McCain's the man in November!!

I can't believe you know why America is war weary but still mock the rest of us and ask us to sign-up. Like you wrote in the article, the war is futile and there is no reason to be there.

The war was started based on reasoning that completely defies logic. It's hard to support a war when I don't believe the lies that underpin the reason for the war. And I'm even more weary of the constant message from the Bush Administration that not supporting this immoral war somehow makes me unpatriotic.

I feel that this country is too quick to throw out the principles that made the country great when it is inconvenient to follow those principles. I immigrated to this country because to me, it is built upon the free exchange of ideas, not blindly following others because they have suffered more than me. I thought I left that kind of thinking in the third world country I left behind.

Hi Rebekah,
I, too, come from a military family where my dad was gone for most of my life trying to win that tragic war in Vietnam. A war that started a long time ago and a war that went from being a 'right' war against the spread of communism to a complete and utter foreign policy blunder.

The war you descibe, the war on terror, is George Bush's war, and he has you and your family and so many other families doing a job that is thankless. Our president sent us into Iraq when the real and correct response to 9/11 was to wage a complete and powerful war against Osama Bin Laden and his terrorist organization...not a war against Saddam Hussein in Iraq!

Civilians are 'war weary' b/c many of us see the tragedy of this costly mistake...the loss of lives, the devastation, the financial cost. And still, Osama Bin Laden lives on making a mockery of the US and the west. Some of us don't buy the 'war on terror' as being the right war...in the same way the public turned against the war against the spread of communism in the 60's...

Poor judgement and bad decisions on the part of politicians caused the debacle of Vietnam and today, George Bush's war is heading in the same direction.

So please forgive us for growing war weary with Iraq...a war waged against a made up enemy when the real enemy still causes destruction, still taunts the US and the west, and grows in new places like Iraq b/c of Bush's mismanagement.

Those of you in the military have chosen a noble path...a job that involves protecting America and the freedoms it is founded on. But you are fighting a war that just doesn't make sense to the world and to many Americans. Please forgive our apathy, it's not personal.

Why do you think that the war in Afghanistan gets little attention and even less resources even though the people responsible for 9/11 planned and executed the attack from there? Could it be because they have no oil? Why did we attack and occupy Iraq and invest billions even though they had nothing to do with 9/11. Why does McCain want to stay there for 100 years? Could it be oil? Enjoy your Hummers.

Those in the military are victums of the folly of politicians to peacefully resolve difficulties between peoples. Your words should not be directed toward the American people but toward our present and past politicians who have made our path to the present condition. I feel that the root of our present terrorist problem is the failure to bring Israel and the Palestineans to terms. It appears that many in Israel want to
seek all the land that was promised by the Old Testament rather than only the land provided by the UN when Israel was made a state by the United Nations. Terrorism as we know it wil likely to continue until Israel backs away from land acquisition and the Palestinians are provided statehood. I wish our service members well; but I am not optimistic that terrorism will be defeated so long as there is a shread of injustice in their minds. However; we took the land of the American Indian and when they protested we killed them until they submitted the land. Maybe Israel will likewise be successful. We should have some influence on our friends or maybe choose to be even handed between friends. I hope you will consider my comments to be constructive.

A great perspective from you and its amazing how much resolve the military and military families have-unlike most Americans in this country. I am not in the miltary and do not know anyone in the miltary, however, I have always have had great respect for those that serve.
Especially now! And Iraq is ajust a great example of how decades
of "Not doing anything" results in toxic layers of corruption, greed, oppression, brutality, crime and terrorism. And the world seems
surprised for some reason that it may take many years to stabilize, and remove that threat. Just for that fact alone, I am not war weary, but
more importantly, like you, I have no right to be war weary, when i'm not actually doing the fighting. There is just something fundamentally wrong when only a certain segment of the population is doing the fighting and the other significant part of the country is sitting on the couch with their game boxes, and complaining about the mismanagement of the war. Heck, most families can't even manage
their 2.3 kids. And its really sad that i dont hear enough people say that they want this country to win this conflict. And by the way, great work on the surge and its success.(you know,"The Pivotal" part of the war that every media outlet made it to be(and is), but hardly hear of since its success). Safety to you and your family.

This is most ridiculous thing I have ever read. The notion that if you do not have anyone you know or love doing the fighting, then we should not be weary of this war of aggression by our country. Contrary to what you and the likes of you believe, we do care what is happening to the men and women of our armed forces. We also care for the lives of ordinary Iraqis lives wasted senselessly. Especially, since we invaded their country on the pretense of finding WMD. When in fact there were no WMD. Our leaders who told us that there exists WMD flatly lied to us not to save us or humanity, but to exploit Iraqis resources by their big oil clients. If you still believe that the Iraqis are better off today that they were under Saddam Hussein then you are as clueless if not more as Gov. Palin. Remember that had we not invaded Iraq, ordinary Iraqis would not have fear their neighbors as they do now. They would not be asking for protection from their fellow country men.

I appreciate all the comments being made here, and many of you make some really good points. But I do think I should remind several of you all that this is a war on TWO fronts. Most of the comments here refer only to Iraq. I didn't write this commentary to voice an opinion on the Iraq invasion. Rather, it's a commentary on the public response to the Global War on Terror.
It's been a great frustration of mine for the last few years that the US media and population have largely ignored the fighting in Afghanistan, as that is where my husband has spent his three GWOT deployments. Perhaps if the attention (both military and from the public and media) that was paid to Iraq had been divided more evenly among both fronts to the war, Afghanistan would have remained a success story.

Ted – You too, my fellow American, are totally clueless. No one is going to question the how's and why's of why we went to Iraq, but to think that they are not better off is just wrong. I guess you've "been there and done that", huh? If so, you would see the change in the eyes of Iraq's future – their youth. War is hell, and yes, I've been there and done that – for over 20 years, but the end state is that we have ousted a cruel and horrible dictator to give Iraq a chance in their future, something I guess, you were willing to turn a blind eye to. As for this war being over big oil, have you seen gas prices lately?

And you are right about one thing – they would still be living in fear of Saddam Hussein...

Great article- most people don't realize the sacrifice of the soldiers and their families. Some don't want to know. But you foot the burden of ensuring our freedoms and following the orders of the elected officials. The soldiers are their to do the mission and they do it well. 95% of the populace applauds the service and sacrifice. I'm not sure the media appreciates it. They are best at reporting bad news and many it seem go out of their way to report the worst and this could all be due to political reasons. But whatever the reason, not having the good news reported makes you and your families job harder. And you don't deserve that.

An interesting article, but you miss the key point. We are involved in two wars now for essentially no reason. Iraq was a conflict built on GWB lies, and being there will serve this country. One could argue that being in Afghanistan has merit, or not.

In any case, your husband and his fellow soldiers all volunteered to go where they are told and kill who they are told to kill. If he had not done so, and gotten a job in the civilian world, your family wouldn't have the troubles it has.

The best thing for all involved would be an immediate pullout of all US troops. We'd stop wasting money and stop killing innocent civilians.

Rob

Rebekah – I think the problem is that many of the people here don't think there needs to be a response to terror. Like LRV, I've "been there and done that". I've seen what we're up against up close and personal. If you or someone you love has, then you "get it".
God Bless – Airborne!

I would like to comment to Sean- the elitist who calls Rebekah a "simple woman"... you know NOTHING of patriotism... your tired liberal mantra of "questioning the governments agenda is true patriotism isn't the same as not supporting the troops" grows WEARY to military families. You should be angry, not at Rebekah, but at the liberals of this country that want to forget 9/11. The liberals that want to forget Bin Laden. The liberals that don't want to inform themselves about the mosques going up left and right in the Phillipines, South America, and Africa. You should be angry for being such an uninformed chauvinist that has probably NEVER served anyone but himself a day in his life. You should be angry that your parents didn't teach you to respect and honor the ones that give you the right to blog and run your mouth and have your uninformed political views and you should be angry that you have to look in the mirror every day at a COWARD!!! You, sir, are a simple simple little man!!! I know Rebekah and her family... her husband is an American hero... doubt that word has EVER been attached to your name!!

I'm a former military brat, wife of a 24 year veteran(special forces) we have 1 son who is to be deployed next summer, a son in law(whose dad is a retired veteran) who will be deployed in Feb. Our youngest plans to enlist when he is out of high school. I know all about what the families have to give up when you are married to someone in the military.

My husband and I spent the first 5 years of our marriage more apart than we were together. I never whined and cried about. Did I hate that he missed the birth of his 4th child of course or when he missed the first day of school. He missed a lot of firsts. Is my son in law going to miss a lot of firsts with my granddaughter yes he is. He missed her birth. But you know what just like my husband and my son he signed his name on the dotted line. Just like my daughter and I signed our name on our marriage cert. We all knew there would be a lot of sacrifices all around but this is the life we chose. Is my daughter going to whine and cry because he isn’t there NO because she knew what she was getting into before she married her husband. She knows her part is to take care of her family even if she is doing it by herself.

So in closing am I going to thank you for your sacrifice NO because you made a choice to be a military spouse and all that comes with it. So put your big girl panties on and deal with it.

One side note on your comment “For the last seven years our elected officials haven’t thought enough of you to ask you to pitch in. They haven’t, so I will.” While they may not have asked outright the government has paid out $750 million in fiscal year 2008 in recruitment bonuses. The only way to get that money is from our elected officials. You know the ones who vote on the DOD budget and then send it to the president to sign. That is their @ss backwards way of asking.

Rebekah,

My heart is with your family and friends and I thank you for all you have given. I agree with your article and while I am not able to enlist anymore I volunteer my time every week doing what I can. It annoys me to no end the people that criticize and complain and yet barely lift a finger help their community and nation. Their idea of giving is just pay a bit more taxes and let someone else deal with handing it out. Or better yet, let someone else with more money pay the taxes too. I too think there have been major mistakes with this war and I do believe there are people in the government and large businesses that are manipulating the American people for profit, but those that just want to stick their head in the sand and pretend that it will all go away, those that think all we need to do is bring our troops home and life will be warm and fuzzy again, those that think we can sit down with vicious animals and talk it out, those that think that if we just mind our own business they won't hate us...are ensuring that it's only a matter of time before the war is right here in our backyards. Oh wait... I forgot this war has nothing to do with freedom.

God Bless You!

I am an Afghan vet and have just packed my bags for my second deployment. I can tell you that I and my family am extremely "war weary". I am also very weary of individuals such as yourself insinuating that anyone who disagrees with our decision to invade a country that was no threat to us is somehow unpatriotic and should head down to the nearest recruiting office and sign up for a tour. Civilians have every right to be weary of this Bush/Cheney fiasco and I applaud every one of them that speaks their mind. If we all unite perhaps we can put an end to this useless, resource draining, Iraq war and somehow pull a victory out in Afghanistan (the real war on terror).

I have great respect for you and your family and feel for the pain and sacrifice that you have endured.

I am afraid that the tragedy of disconnect here lies in a fundamental difference in the perception of what the reality is here. I dare not speak for all people opposed to this war, but I do feel that my opinion is shared by many. It is no doubt difficult for families of soldiers to entertain, let alone accept, and it is this:

This war is nothing less than imperial aggression. We are occupying a foreign land for the purpose of securing the oil production for the western oil companies, and building permanent military bases from which to launch more invasions in the future. Everything the current administration has said about freedom, democracy and terrorism is propaganda to justify and cover up their imperial and illegal aggression. Whether things might get worse if we pulled out is irrelevant because our presence is unjustified and serving a corrupt agenda and our leaders are not trying to make things better, they are biding their time as they build bases and steal oil.

The sacrifices our soldiers have made are tragically not being made in pursuit of a worthy cause, however painful that is to accept, but are instead being made so the greedy and powerful can get richer and more powerful at the expense of hundreds of thousands of lives.

On top of that, the cost of this war is bankrupting our country.

This is why the only way to support our troops to stop this war, bring them home and not allow them to be used in such malicious ways.

John
NYC

It is not the job of the military or the media to pay "equal attention" to Iraq and Afghanistan when the operations are so vastly different in size.

It should have been the job of this administration to at least divide resources between the two. Of course, if we are speaking of the Global War on Terror, the best plan would have been to focus primarily on Afghanistan.

My husband has done two tours in Iraq. I am weary. I wonder if perhaps I would feel differently if he had gone to Afghanistan. It's impossible to know.

Brilliant article! We don't hear the military families' side of the story.

Sanderlin sleeps with the US flag and uses it to get what she so desperately wants–sympathy.

The real soldiers are quiet professionals that do their job. They are the one's that deserve the respect, not the ones that demand it.

The Iraqi war is a futile joke. Started by a prankster. If she could just accept the contradiction.

She would serve her family better if she would spend time with her kids rather than begging for love on blogs and spewing rhetoric on NPR.

Rebekah, your thoughts and feelings are well-written here. I'm a local Fort Bragg wife and mom, and I keep up with your Observer blogs (as much as a full time career, school, and children allow that is). You know I'm your sister girl, but I would have to disagree with your assessment of most civilians not knowing someone in the military. Between our active duty, guard, and reserve forces from every town and city, big and small, I think more could rattle off a name or two than we think.
People are war weary because the majority of Americans, according to CNN's own polls, do not support the war in Iraq and a lot of them never have (even before the casualty rates starting to climb and it became more unpopular). They feel their tax dollars are being spent on a cause they do not approve of. Well guess what....my tax dollars are spent on causes I do not approve of... like giving money to women who constantly pop out children they cannot support. My tax dollars are spent to give welfare to people who should not be able to collect it, instead of making them work for something like the rest of it. My tax dollars are spent paying college tuition for people who have never worked, yet I work full time and have to pay full tuition along with it...you get my drift.

I am weary of being mom & dad at the same time, of shouldering the responsibility myself, but it comes with the territory. Your husband enlisted after 9/11 so you knew exactly what you were getting into and I applaud you for sticking with it both for him and your children. You and I both see these wives running around Fayetteville while their husbands are deployed, and it is not a pretty sight. My husband has been active duty army for 14 years, he joined long before 9/11. We married in 2000, never imagining the time he would be away in just a year from then. But you know it's always a possibility and you just live with it. Both he and I were not supporters of war in Iraq. But Iraq is where we are, and we must now lie in the bed that was made.
I do agree that many people cannot possibly understand the full extent of the sacrifice soldiers make, to include families. How could they possibly? I support my husband and his job 100% as I know you do.

And did someone say that military families get free health insurance? Are you kidding me? So this guy's employer doesn't cover any part of his health insurance then? My husband tracking those directly responsible for 9/11 for months through various countries and continents does not earn his kid a teeth-cleaning every once in a while? Seriously, bud. I have to laugh anytime someone says the military families get free healthcare. There is nothing free about it my friends, believe it. Hang in the Rebekah, we love ya

I get really angry at people stating that their tax dollars support/pay for the military's paychecks. We pay taxes as well! And I won't even address the idiot who implied that military wives are the same as individuals on welfare.( Ignorance comes to mind.)
Many people volunteer to join the armed services to support their country, just as others are looking for school benefits, a possible career, support that they may have not had in their upbringing. Pretty much, reasons for why all Americans do the jobs they do, live where they want to live. Why the condemnation?
I think this writer is asking for a little understanding, not sympathy. And, I too agree, that there will always be people who talk the talk, and those who walk the walk. Freedom isn't free, funny how there are alot of Americans are always trying to get something free or at a reduced cost. Hey, why should I go, when someone else will? No compassion, why are so many people so hard?
You know, there will never be peace in this world..... people find a reason to dislike, even hate others because of stupid reasons. And for this, I am truly weary, truly saddened.