Hey Joe…I know this can and string thing dosn’t work so well but I couldn’t find a secure line.

Hello is this 976-VEEP? Who is on call tonight?

“I gave Countrywide all the documents they asked for, now get me that loan.”

Obama’s making a 3am prank phonecall to McCain

but honey, mccain got to go on an oil rig.

What are you doing this weekend and are you free for the next four years?

Is this 1-800-call-veep?

There has got to be a more subtle way to evesdrop!

“Yes, one chow mein and one fried rice. Could we get some extra fortune cookies, I’m running to be President.”

Hello God, I need Help

Sen. Obama is “Biden” his time before announcing his choice for VP.

Uh-Huh . . . . uh-huh . . . yes ,dear. . . . uh-huh . . . and a pound of what ?. . . ok . . . yes, dear . . .uh-huh . . .um, they’re waiting for me . . .yes, dear . . .

Yes, I know it’s three in the morning. Yes, I know where my children are.

Sen. Obama: “I am not interested in purchasing your product and this number is on the National do not call list, please stop calling me!!!”

“Hey Michelle…..How many houses do we own?”

Yes, 3 party size pizza, have it delivered to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave on Jan 20, 2009

I told you hillary isnt my running mate and book another trip too hawaii for me.

Hello Hillary, do you want to be my V.P? Call me back when you get in!

why can’t we have more than one vp?john mccain has 7 homes

Sorry Hillary, I hit the wrong speed dial number. I meant to call Sen. Biden.

Yes, Hillary. I know you have the anti-Bosnian sniper vote locked up; but I’ve already decided on my VP.

Trust me. My ideas are a lot newer than this old phone.

You mean those phone solicitations AREN’T recorded!!!?

Wake up Hillary! it’s 3am!

“Look Hillary, if you dump the chump you are it! I wouldn’t lie to ya, girlfriend!”

Mark S.
Sacramento, CA

No Rev. Wright. We don’t need you to kick off the convention with a prayer.

No Bill, I wasn’t asking you to be my V.P, is Hillary home?

“No, I don’t think 3 a.m. is a good time to ask me if I’m happy with my long distance service.”

Hello McCain……do you have prince Albert in a can?

It is 3 AM which VP candidate will answer the phone?

Crisis Center? I NEED HELP!!!

OK Hillary, I’ll make you a deal….

Cindy…Ga.

Listen! I got everything undercontrol here. What’s for dinner Hon?

It is 3 AM, look Barack Obama will answer the phone.

Uhm yes 1-900 psychic, who should I pick for a VP

Can you deliver a VP with extra cheese in 30 minutes?

Candy Crowley, stop calling me, I’m not telling you who my VP will be

Yes, my refrigerator is running. Why do you ask?

“Hi, Hillary? I’m gonna make your day!”

OK, tell John Edwards he can’t speak at the convention, even at 8 AM.

Honey, I am not coming home tonight. Transportation is too expensive.

Shake Kalidistonia
Spartanburg, SC

I’d make a choice for VP if Senator Biden would take me off hold.

Michelle, if I pick Hillary as a VP can you girls get along?

Honey, I’m coming home late tonight because there seems to be a line for presidential candidacy!

Hello, Senator McCain?……… do you have Prince Albert in a can?

It is 3 AM, Hillary does answer the phone. Obama tells her she is not the VP choice.

It is 3AM, Obama gets Hillary’s voice mail.

Senatorr OBama calls his Pastor for divine intervention to help him choose his running mate.

“Hey Hillary, How are … Oh, yeah I’m looking for a VP… umm.. yeah you’re totally on my short list… really… oh I have to go I’ll talk to you soon,”

Liz
Davis California

Yep…I’m on hold just “Biden” my time before the BIG VP announcement!

Cindy…Ga.

Yes Mrs. Kaine, I know your son Tim would make a wonderful VP but I really haven’t made my decision yet

“Hi, Grandma? It’s me, Barack. I was wondering…. No, grandma, Barack… *sigh* B-A-R-A-C-K…..”

Ticin
San Diego, CA

Just tell Bill Clinton that he can’t have any Hooters Girls escort him to the stage for his speach.

hilliary I am supposed to call you

McCain aides make a not so subtle attempt to record Sen. Obamas phone conversation.

Yes, Pizza Hut, I would like to order a pizza with everything on it…

“Hi, Hilliary? Hey listen, I need your help! ”

Ticin
San Diego, CA

McCain aides make a not so subtle attempt to record Sen. Obama’s phone conversation.

Father here I come before you a sinner; I am going to ask Hillary to me my VP!

“…it’s in a brown, green and yellow pattern and I want it on the floor of every room in the White House.”

obama calls for tech support when he didn’t know how to text his supporters with a land line phone.

Now honey, I already told you. We can’t afford 7 houses!

Are you sure the Pope isn’t available to be my VP?

Hello? Information? Yeah, I’m trying to reach my brother in Kenya. Can you put me through?

“I would love to talk about that but I think someone is listening in”

Justin Kohler
Sherman Oaks CA, USA

So Hillary, What are you doing for the next four years?

“Hello Hillary?
Small change of plans since we last talked.
Let me start by saying you are a great gal. (awkward pause)
It’s not you it’s me……..”

instead of texting, obama decides to call his supporters one-by-one to let them know who’s his VP pick.

by the look of these cheap chairs I’m on, it’s no wonder why the Cardinals are 8 games out of 1st place

alright oprah I will substitute for dr oz if you will be my vp

“John McCain is gaining on me. My popularity is slipping. What should I do?”

*pause*

“Got it. Thanks Bill!”

Ticin
San Diego, CA

“Hey Anderson….It’s me, Obama. What would you think about being my VP? Pays not great, but I could sure use your well rounded (360°) personality!”

Baby, Sweetheat, Darling… I am sorry, but I am going to have to pick Hilliary.

Even the world’s biggest celeberty has trouble trying to cancel an AOL account..

Ok dear, I’ll pick up some milk on my way home.

I’ll take a cheeseburger, fries, and a coke. Better yet, super size that. We may be at this all nite.

“Yes, I’d like to order one VP, a side of Mudslingin’ slaw and some Republican Crow Pie.”

Presley
Walled Lake, Michigan

“You want to be the first to know when I announce my VP ? No prob… What’s your cell number? I’ll text you.”

Ticin
San Diego, CA

What have I got on? Well, for starters I got my flag pin. If you know what I mean?

Obama phones Cokie Roberts, “Hawaii is in the United States.”

“So, Bill could I sweeten the veep deal with a year’s worth of take-out from Taco Bell? I hear that’s popular in New Mexico.”"

Hey Larry. Let me speak to the Donald when you’re through with him and his kids.You know the dude with the funny hair!

Whoa… I misdialed. I didn’t mean to… HOW MUCH PER MINUTE?!!

Ticin
San Diego, CA

“Hillary, I changed my mind, I don’t want to be the President of the United States anymore”, “Maybe you could take over for me?”

Shena
Columbus, OH

“No, if I appoint you VP, you don’t get to live in my multi-million dollar house in Chicago. You have to come to D.C.”

Yeah, I would like 2 large pepperoni pizzas and deliver them to my house. Huh, I don’t know which house….

Janis Johnson
Greenwood, MO

Yes, I am happy with my long distance carrier.

Obama-Bowie?!
Who is this, really?

For the last time Hillary, I’ll make myself clear; My answer is “No”

Barack calls Campbell Browm, “Campbell could I get one of those 360 t-shirts?”

“Dominoes? Yes, I’d like to order a larger pepperoni with cheese, onions and pineapple.”

Yeah, give a me a double sausage and cheese with thick crust, I have been dyin for a pizza for months!

Your call is important to us. So leave a message and the next time Cindy and I happen to be staying at this house we’ll call you right back.

No, this is not the McCain resident..

Calm down Michelle, I’ll take out the garbage when I get home.

Hey Anderson Cooper… wanna me my running mate?

Ticin
San Diego, CA

Barack Obama to Michelle Obama:
“Honey, I just saw the Paris Hilton video online! No, not that one….”

Why is no one paying attention while I make this timely call? perhaps it’s the cheap chairs and loooong phone cord.

Hi Oprah. I’ll subscribe to your Book of the Month Club if you’ll come for a run with me to the White House.

Hey Wesley, did you hear, Al Maliki who is directly alligned with Iran just told Bush there will be a time-line for withdrawal…Mine!

Obama: Hello sweetheart my wife! missed you! thank you for calling me!
Megan D.
Shoreline, Wa

Yeah, that’s right!
I need 15 pizzas with everything delivered to 7 different addresses.
The name is McCain. (he-he!)

Hello WhiteHouse, It’s 3:00am - this is Barrack: Is anybody there?

To heck with The Pick I’m calling Michelle about this lovely carpet.

“Hey Erica Hill… Cooper turned me down, wanna be my running mate?”

Ticin
San Diego, CA

HELLO, HILLARY…

I cannot tell you who I choose for VP. Sorry Michelle

Girls please tell your mom I cannot tll her who my VP choice is.

No, no Bill. I didn’t say stick by the phone! I was telling the waiter, steak well done!

(talking with Bill Clinton) Bill, let me get this right, you will not smoke any cigars in the White House if I put Hillary on the ticket?

No Hillary you are not and never will be my choice for VP.

Mrs Clinton? Oh, ok…thanks anyway….
Mr Biden?…that’s fine…thanks anyway…
Mr Bayh… I understand…thanks anyway…
Dominoes???

Musharraf? How did you get this number? No you are not the nominee!!

Senator Obama,…..White courtesy phone,….
Senator Obama,….White courtesy phone….

Obama: Hello Hillary? Will you running my mate on Saturday morning?
Megan D.
Shoreline, Wa

Momma? I’m having one of those campaigns….

John thought i’d call you on a land line since you said you can’t use a cell phone

Michelle, honey, I had to pick her.. but honey…

Yes dear. You are right. But we can’t put me on the ballot as VP. But I do know you are the real president at home.

that is how you want your president to answer the phone at 2 a.m. !

Hello Bill, uhh, Is Hillary there?

Wow,if I could only find a tie with this pattern picking my VP will be a snap.

OK, Hillary, I’m going to need you for VP, but you have to keep Bill away somehow.

Hey John, What’s this I hear that you don’t how many homes you have because you can’t find the ones on Hidden Valley Road.

I’m telling you, I tried to find someone as old and dementia ridden as McCain but there ain’t nobody!

Just because I could not stand up to the others to get you VP ticket, I am not a Girlie man Hillary!

Are you sure? Is that your final answer?

Sen. Obama is “Biden” his time before making his VP announcement.

“Yes, I’m a registered voter.” “Who am I going to vote for??!!” “Why couldn’t you have called last week!”

Karen, Flagstaff, Arizona

But you promised to send a cable guy here sometime between the hours of 9am and 5pm.

Uh oh - honey, all my picks for VP have more than one home - now what do I do???

I don’t like the color of the carpet, so make sure you change it before the election

“Oh Barack, it’s 4AM, I said 3AM…click.”

I’m using the white phone because Hilary has a tap on the red phone.

From San Diego, CA.

I can answer the phone anytime, 9pm, 11pm, even 3am!

Calm down, kids. I’m fine. The “convention bump” is just an expression.

Obama: What are you dong calling me at 3am? I tried to sleep now, please don’t call me.
Megan D.
Shoreline, Wa

Hey, Bill………Is Hillary there? I need her help to beat McCain!

Okay Plouffe, I’ve chosen my vp. Vp #43 whoever that is.

MIchelle, honey, you know I’M not stupid enough to pick someone who’s only been two years in office or someone who actually co-authored the Iraq war resolution… come-on. Everyone knows either choice would mean certain defeat in November!

Yes, that’s what I said, I am the Michael Phelps of Politics…gold baby gold!

Thanks for your offer, Bill… but I’ve actually already made up my mind.

Proof Obama is ready to answer the phone at 3 a.m. or any other time of the day.

John, for the last time, I have only one house, one wife, and yes, since yesterday one sunflower………..

Do you have Prince Albert in a CAN?

George! I need that furiture back!

I don’t have a clue yet…I was just saying that!

“Better make that half-pepperoni, half Hawaiian…”

How the (bleep) did I get on the TSA’s terrorist watch list?

Hello, National Enquirer? Do I have a story for you!

“Hello….?? I can hear you breathing. What am I wearing? Huh? My stance? Larry Craig, are you messin’ with me?”

Look John I thought I made it clear. You absolutely can ‘t be my veep if I win.

Hello, Hillary? Yes, I’m calling to see if you’ll be my running mate. No, no… not THAT running mate. It might be nice for people see us jogging together… You know, to unify the party.

….We are currently cuexperiencing heavy call volume. Average wait times are currently TWO…..HOURS….AND….FIF-TEEN….MIN-UTES.
………Hello you’ve reached the Microsoft Vista Helpline……We are currently experiencing heavy call……

I already told you Hilary, Bidens my running mate and no me and Bill arent campaigning together.

“I told you not…..no honey I…..Seriously…..Yes dear, a gallon of milk and some Reeses cups

IS this the Psychic Hot Line? I need help picking a mate - no, a running mate. No, not to jog with, to run the country with. I thought you were supposed to be psychic!!

I told you 15 minutes ago that I already have DISH Network

Yes, Chuck Hagel’s office please!

Have you got Prince Albert in a can?

Okay my comment for today’s Beat 360 is … oh wait

Hey Bill…..Is Hillary there? I need her to beat McCain!

Hello, Mr President - is your refrigerator running? It is….

Do you have Prince Albert in a can?

No Hillary i wont even tell you who i pick as my VP.
CALIFORNIIA

Hello hello is anybody out there. What am I the lonely guy?

What do you mean I sound “wired”? I’m just a Bi~den my time here. . .

Note to self, Install wireless phones

Mayor Bloomberg’s office…Oh, one moment Mr. Obama!

Sure, I’ll be happy to answer a few polling questions. Who would I vote for for President?….

” Listen, Dick, as a personal favor to me, could you go hunting this weekend with John McCain?”

Obama: Hello Joe? Will you running my mate on Saturday morning?
Megan D.
Shoreline, Wa

Press 1 for Hillary, Press 2 for Joe Biden, Press 3 for the White House!

Look, I know Mr. Bush is wiretapping this call… It’s the economy stupid!

“Hi Hillary? Sorry to be bothering you at 3 am….”

Ticin
San Diego, CA

I’m using the white phone because Hilary has a tap on the red phone.

Look, Oprah, i really appreciate all your support, but i will NOT pick Dr Phil as my vice president.

“Hello, Hillary? Sorry to wake you at 3 AM but, HELP!”

Hillary..you got problems…i got problems…
but we don’t have any problems!

“Oh Barack, I know Bill has some “cigars in the closet”…but he’s not like that anymore.”

Yes Senator McCain, the Olympics are just about over… but the fireworks are just about to start!

Illinois Federal Penitentiary? Yes operator, please give a message to inmate Tony Rezko. The message is: “Just hang in there for five more months”.

Yes mom, I packed enough clean underwear…

I know, God. I know I’m not the Chosen One, and I’ve asked him to stop running those ads. But, he just ignores me. Anything you can do?

….We are currently experiencing heavy call volume. Average wait times are currently TWO…..HOURS….AND….FIF-TEEN….MIN-UTES.
………Hello you’ve reached the Microsoft Vista Helpline……We are currently experiencing heavy call……

Hello? Hello? Can you hear me now? Joe, I’m begging you . . . NO I’m NOT breaking up, I’m on a land line!!!!

Hey John. All that free air time you are getting on late night TV will make you a laughing stock and come back to haunt you at the polls.

What Senator McCain? You can’t find a Vice President either?

(White House Security) “I’m here in the Oval Office and I need to know where is all the furniture!”

Hey Michelle,
Remember the Chinese takeout we had last night? Can you open the fortune cookie and find out the name on it?

Yes, honey, daddy promises that if he’s elected president he’ll fix all Mr Bush’s messes. Yes, i’ll end the war. Yes, i’ll make it so people can buy gas and stay in their homes. Yes, i’ll make sure people can have jobs and go to good schools have health care and…Maybe i should just quit this after all…”

Obama- Hello?

McCain- Obama? Wow, you actually do answer the phone at 3am?

What do you mean you don’t deliver to this area, do you know who I am?

Yes, I’ve got your number
My VP?… I need to make you mine
Hillary, don’t change your number
8 6 7-5 3 0 9

Yes, I understand something is happening in the world… Listen, can we talk about this later? It’s 3 a.m.

A secure line to my VP selection? Thank goodness for land lines.

Listen, this is my blue tie answer. If you wanted my red tie answer you should have called yesterday!

Hello..Hello….is this Recorder of Deeds….did you get my name off those houses yet???

by the look at the lenght of that phone cord,Obama must be making a long distance call

Hey Anderson: Am I allowed to play “Beat 360?”

What’s that, you mean i have to have a security clearance for this job?

“Yes, yes, the carpet DOES match the drapes, and it’s not pretty.”

Gramdma….. please tell McCain to stop picking on me ; (

Get me Batman!

Hill, I know it’s 3 AM, but you told me it was never too late to call!

Hi, this is John McCain. I’d like to order 20,000 pizzas and i’d like them delievered to 7 different houses…

No, no, sir. This is NOT a sales call.
Sorry to bother you in the middle of dinner, Senator Biden.

Obama- Hey Hillary, who should I pick for VP?

Hillary- Obama? Must you call me at 3 am?

Barack hates to be called on the carpet.

Cameron Cox,
Winnipeg, Canada

Senator Obama searches for his VP through hypnosis.

“Maybe we can settle this VP choice with a spelling contest…and put potato on the top of the list.”

Let’s do this scientifically. If Phelps beats Spitz’s record, I go with Biden, unless the US softball team loses, in which case I go with - -what’s his name? You know, the guy with the pretty green eyes.

Hello, Crisis Center? I’m in need of a V.P. You see I told everyone I had picked one and…………………………………..

So Scooter, what’s the spread on The Dream Team vs Argentina tomorrow?

“I ordered 75000 seats at the stadium not 7 or 5 green seats… come on!”

Luwanna Guysville Ohio

In blatant appeal to older voters, Obama uses one of the last corded phones in America.

Yup. Got it. Okay, okay.. I gotta go. Hanna Montana is getting to come on!

Ticin
San Diego, CA

Barack Obama demonstrates the latest model cell phone, the I-McCain, endorsed by T Bone Pickens.

AC360? Beat 360? This is Barack. Please, PLEASE don’t use my picture on your show tonight! OOOPS, nevermind…too late.

Yes Hillary, you’re my pick…. to win the next season of Dancing with the Stars

Florida

Obama on the Angel Connection Line:

…. Okay, so the next time McCain runs one of those ads, I want you to hit back hard with multicolored lightning bolts. Yeah. And, then let’s rain cats and dogs. Big ones, small ones. Yeah, literally. And, then, let’s carve a new Grand Canyon everywhere he wants to drill for oil. Yeah, that ought to get his attention! We’ll save the rest for later.

But, hey, I don’t want anybody hurt in this. So, be careful out there!

Don’t worry! Bill won’t give us any trouble. I have him tied to a chair with the rest of this cord.

Senator Obama volunteers his time on the “Stop Foreclosure Now” crisis hotline.

Wait…let me get this straight. You ordered HOW MANY pizzas for the
Democratic National Convention? What part about Ethics Reform did you not get?

“And this is how we are going to CRUSH McCain. Uh oh. uh… Patriot Act… Land line….uh… Ixnay on the trategysay. What? Is my refrigerator running? Sorry, wrong number.” Click.

Obama: Hello Pizza Hut? I want 2 ham and pineapple medium please? Thank you.
Megan D.
Shoreline, Wa

Tell the REPUBLICAN machine to BACK the HECK off.

What are you wearing?

“No honey, I said I’m AT the Paris Hilton, for a conference..the actual hotel…they do have one you know.”

I thought you told me this guy was declawed!

Bill, It’s Barack again, STOP HANGING UP ON ME, and let me talk to Hillary!

Obama:Hi Hillary?The National Polls is so close with McCain I cannot win this Election without you.

WHAT??
Anderson cooper’s on VACATION???
Doesnt he KNOW i’m about to announce my VP?? He’s coming back for THAT isnt he?? No? He wont be there tonight?? Well, why should i even BOTHER then??!!

I’ll have 50 pizzas. Can you please deliver those to the white house?…Thanks.

” Here’s the deal. You can be my VP only if you get your husband Bill to agree to be the US Ambassador in Uzbekistan.”

“Find out how many pair of shoes Cindy McCain owns.”

Talking to Michelle

Yeah it’s a landline the Blackberry is bugged,
John McCain figured out how to use it……

Obama: Hello Anderson? Can I talk you? I would like be guest host on AC360 program, when you take night off.
Megan D.
Shoreline, Wa

“Yeah, there are only six chairs and I’m expecting 75000 people… so could you get somebody on that please”
Luwanna Guysville Ohio

“Hillary, for the last time . . .”

“Hello, Trump? There are seven houses that I need you to buy.”

“Do you choose to accept this mission…this recording tape will self-destruct in 5..4..3…”

“No Ted, it has nothing to do with Chappaquiddick………..”

“No, that’s one order of shrimp fried rice, one beef with broccoli, two sweet n sour chickens, and four egg rolls”

Phone tag! You’re it!

Michelle, i really need a cigarette!

Yeah, I’m calling from the room where McCain will give his speech… I don’t think they are expecting a big turn-out…

Luwanna Guysville Ohio

Hey Michelle, I lost my cell phone and now, I can’t text!

“Look-I realize it’s only $75 per night, but I’d like a bed and a TV….and I think someone may be eavesdropping….”

No…. seriously…seriously…one of the houses had a moat…yeah a moat!

Hello this is Barack Obama……….”CLICK”……Hello? Hello?

Hey Hillary did you pick up my dry cleaning and the grocery’s that were on the list oh ya did you wash and detail my car ,well as soon as your done with those i got a whole new list for you then well talk about putting you and my VP list

Look Ohio, we’re not going to have that same old voting machine problem that we had 4 years ago, now are we? Glenda in Montana

Senator Obama volunteers his time on the PUMA Survivor crisis hotline!

Contrary to the McCain campaign’s insistence, Sen. Obama proves that he can operate a telephone, even at 3am.

Obama- Hey Hill, I’ve chosen a VP candidate.

Hillary- Obama? It’s 3am. Stop calling me.

“Yes Alfred…to the Batcave!”

What do you mean which address to deliver the Pizza to? I only have one address! McCain is that you?

What do you mean, you tested the new voting booths for accuracy and i lost to McCain, Barr, Nader and Goofy by at least 300,000 votes??!!!

Hi Bill, is Hillary there?

Obama(thinking) why does this phone not have a speaker, my ears are having a blast.

Sure, Sure Bill!

” Hey! How’s my V.P doing?! No, they can’t hear me Joe “

Really, Dad, can you hold back on the storms and floods for awhile? That McCain camp is blaming ME!

Now let me make sure I’ve gt this right. You’re asking if the election were held today, who would I vote for?

Yes, Hillary, I wanted to apologize for calling you a whiner……..

Hello, Eliot Spitzer?? Look, ummm, could you get some of your friends from the website to go over to John McCain’s place and make sure the Enquirer is there….yeah, if i get to be president i can do pardons and stuff…

207 down only 240 to go. Hello Congressmen .This Barack Obama. Hello? Hello? Cold calling congressmen can be such a joy.

“I’m telling you, the St. Louis Arch is as tall as it is wide. Ask McCain, his grandson helped build it!”

“Hilary…Hilary…..I know it’s 3am….But do you want the job or not?”

“I’m practicing for my 3am call”

Oh come on Oprah, with you as VP, we’d be unbeatable!!!

So, exactly how many voting machines are down now? And do you guarantee they will be up and running in November? I can only deal with the problems i