Doesn't mean I am a "republican" but I like a man that wears a hard hat on occasion!!!!

With My Finger I ZAP the Electoral Map to Win !!

Is this the button I press to randomly pick my running mate?

"So, let me get this straight. If we change this little doohicky on the screen, we drop the price of oil? I'll bet Obama doesn't know about this.
Don't tell him, my friend."

Look at the Mexican Dude Caught on the Platform, Go Help Him !!

"How do I get CNN on this thing?"

Hey check it out ,You can goggle my house too, There it is.

Jeb Bush Told Me There Were Machines Like This, If Only Voting Could be This Controlled !!

For the last time, Senator. . . You touch another button, and I'm calling Cindy to come get you!

JOHN! DON"T TOUCH THAT BUTTON , IT'S THE EMERGENCY DUMP VALVE! OOPS!!!!!!!!!

Just remember, Senator, if you break, you buy it!

You say this is called a monitor?

'Look' There's the baby whale's Mom

Is this the button you press to make oil prices rise?

When they said off shore drilling I was thinking Beverly Hillbillies, not computers and stuff.

Yes, Senator, you're right! Those ARE big computer screens!

Is this the button you press to make oil prices decrease?

So, THAT'S what a computer is good for!

This looks like a good place for Mitt Romney's office.

Senator McCain training for his back up job, if he loses the election for President.

What the heck is this again??

McCain: "I wanna have the man in THAT office fired, he gave me this stupid hat!"

"If I tap this screen will it make the oil prices drop"
It never hurts to try!

McCain: "I keep pushing the green button but the darn thing wont give me 40 bucks!"

"Is this that internet I've heard so much about?"

Can you turn on the speakers so I can listen to a little ABBA?

So, if I want to start offshore drilling, I just press this button?

"I know I'm new to this technology thing but shouldn't this be touch screen?"- McCain

What does that blinking "WARNING" sign mean?

Is this the button that starts offshore drilling?

"So Captian Marvel zapped him right between the eyes...ZAP !!!!!

"Right there on that street in Chicago's South Side is where we will start our drilling."

"Ahh, Senator McCain, that appears to be the Obama residence."

So once you order the pizza, how to you get it delivered out here on the "RIG"

"This is cool, my friend, but I've never had to do this so tell me again... this is the nozzle I'll use to put the gas in my car?"

well looky here...

If you promise not to touch anything, I'll let you watch!

If I stand here I can break the cone of silence

Tourist !

Hey Garrett – what the heck does that mean.

i said don't push the red button!

I much prefer the controls on the right as opposed to the ones on the left

"Of course I'm aware of the internet. It lives right in there!"

That better not be a windmill!

There's a fly in your coffee!

So, is this that "internet" thingy that everyone is talking about?

John, does this computer info actually mean anything to you?

How do you move this yellow doohickey?

senator you are inside you do not need the hard hat

Look – It's BATMAN!!!

Make it pump faster. Faster I tell you! I want enough for everyone by Nov.

Sit down, Senator, and I'll let you be my co-pilot for awhile!

So this is that internet thingy right – the series of tubes and all??

"I don't belive you. Computers are so unreliable that we can't even trust them to count votes?"

"Hmm, looks like I'm pretty far away from 'the Cone of Silence'. Oops."

My kids would love to have a game room like this!

Is that the electoral map? Who is yellow?

Jean, Ottawa, Canada

garrett is this the windows everyone talks about

Why do I need a hard hat? Are the ceiling tiles falling.............again

"Look Garrett, there it is on the screen....... an evil hurricain...DEFEAT IT!"

So you're saying i can chat with this girl in the picture in "real time" and we can say ANYTHING we want to?? No one will ever know tho, right??

now this is where I will anounce my vp choice on my birthday

Okay – i wanna bomb here first – and then we'll start on the other screen...

DAMN THIS BLOODY WAR – - – PERISCOPE UP.

Okay quick, before Congress gets back: drill right here, right now!

So you're saying this is a how a cow works?? I never realized it was so complicated!!

Does this thing take lunch orders?

“Does this pose work for my photo up? I was aiming for the though enough to handle the presidency look.”

would you like some fries with that?

It says here, "All personnel must wear hard hats" Suit up mister!

So, if we move that "thingamajig" too far over to the right, you're saying we'll tip over?

I've found Nancy Pelosi's yard on Google Earth. Do you think we could move the rig there before she gets home? It'll be like Punk'd: Presidental Edition!

If we have another hurricane like Katrina, will all this be underwater?

Sharon from Indy

You break it, you buy it! House rules!

John McCain gets a lesson in hacking automated voting machines.

Let me get this straight, Senator McCain, you say the dinosaurs gave you their blessing for offshore drilling? Well, I don't doubt that you were there, but.....

"Um, sir, the hard hat really is unnecessary....it's just a computer!"

Looks like a submarine to me!

What's this dubya, dubya, have to with oil ?

Thanks for pulling up my org chart.. see way down here is Giuliani...

Dana Stewart
Tanner, AL U.S.A.

Don't touch the screens, I see it..... Sir STOP smudging my screens! Don't you have something else to do?

Hey, buddy, this looks Presidential and really, really cool right?? I dont wanna end up looking like a shmuck in a stupid tank like Dukakis did...

HEY THAT LOOKS LIKE PONG!!!!

McCain: All this new-fangled computer stuff is too complicated for me. Besides, we all know the President only has to know how to push one button!

Catherine
Dallas, TX

Where are the fish?

"Umm...no sir..that's not where Super Mario jumps out of and no we can't play Donkey Kong on it either."

Can you set this thing up so i can play "PONG"???

How do I get the ball game on this thing?

Press 1 for oil
Press 2 For Vp nominee

Can I check my daughters' blog on this thing?

Now, tell me about the one that looks like Ms. Pac Man!

The screen looks just like THAT when I use the Google on the Internets at my house.

Which of these buttons should I press for a recount?

No, Mr. McCain. Pushing the green button won't reprogram Cindy. You want the red button.

Catherine
Dallas, TX

Gambari: No sir, I do not believe Osama is hidding there.

So is there some way to make all this stuff say that if they okay off shore drilling and start right away, by election day we'll have plenty of gas and we can go back to the gas prices that i remember – when it was about twenty cents a gallon ...???

This is the location that Cindy wants to put her new 'beer' pipeline from InBev directly to her Budweiser distributorship after we outsource all the American brewery jobs.

When does the Mario guy come and jump over the oil barrels??

McCain: Here is a magic wall as John King did on CNN........ I can touch how much polls are?
Megan D.
Shoreline, Wa

You are right on the mark senator, that is what we here in the oil rigs platform call a computer screen.

Scroll down there a minute... I wanna see what time Bones comes on tonight.

Doh! That pop-ups not good right!?

Is this the medal churning machine people are taking about? Could you make me a medal in that color then?

John McCain protecting his head from all the rays coming out of the computer.

Checkmate!

Really, Sir, those aren't space invaders!

In order to win more Evangelical votes, from now on McCain will only visit companies with references to the Bible in their name.

senator mcain is reminded of his childhood.....
'when i was a kid, we had black and white tv's, and we had to turn the dial'.....

TIME FOR EVIL IRAN..1,2,3, LET THEM FLY

ALI IRANI

Now this here is what my fellow Americans call a "flow chart".

Garrett draws the short straw and gets to be tour guide for the day.

mcains asks...
hey can we watch the hana montana show(miley cyrus)?

Garrett: "Silly civilian!"

Is this the button that can shoot missles at Russia?

McCain-"Look at all of the pretty colors."

MCCAINE: "THIS ISNT THE BUTTON FOR BOMBS IS IT
I MADE A BAD MISTAKE SOME YEARS BACK ON A AIRCRAFT CARRIER"

Hey, I am remember these's.....etch a sketch, Right?

If I push the green button, can I claim to be an environmentalist?

John McCain: "How do you work this thing. I keep touching it but nothing happens."

McCain-"Look, I beat Freecell!"

For the forth time Mr.McCain you cant controle the computer with your finger you have to use this mouse

Can I buy one of those in the rig's gift shop?

Hard hat, and safety goggles will save me from actually using this computer....oh yeah and is this an email?

I'll take that one as a souvenir!

Isn't McCain too old to understand computers?

McCain-"OK, drill here....here...here...here......"

" So why do they call this a flat-screen ? "

McCain: "No, move it over here! You, my friend, stink at Tetris!

And this is where the tanker you guys are going to name after me will dock, right?

Is this where you store all the extra money you suck out of people?

thats the color blue BBB blue

You know, my friend, I agree that this play might work but you need somebody to block this linebacker here. Can I tell you a story about when I played at the Academy?

Try.... "Beer Can Collectables" on eBay, I want to bid on a present for my wife.

You can afford to give my campaign more money, this gadget here must be worth a fortune!

McCain--"What's this little button here that says "Do Not Touch."

Don't worry about this leak here. All administrations have a few well-placed leaks.

John McCain is a Republican, shouldn't his hard hat be red?

"Is there a button I can push to reduce gas prices??"

McCain-"What does this mean...""Don't let the old guy in the orange hard hat touch anything?""

Wish I'd taken the motion sickness meds that my staff recommended!

McCain, "Now if I press this, will it fill up my Straight Talk Express?"

So are we hiding from Fay, or trying to find Fay?

Garrett Gambari: "Don't touch that Senator, you'll delete everything I've done for the last six months."

John McCain: "Oops! Too late! I've gotta get a grip on this new computer thing."

McCain-"Which one of these do I have to push to get CNN?"

It must be the orange hat. My secretary never told me to wear the orange hat to make the computer work.

This doesn't look like PAC-MAN to ME!

Mark S.
Sacramento, CA

I see Miss Pacman... but where do the little ghosty things come out?

We can drill, there, there, there, and espically here.
art lazar
PHOENIX, AZ

It's never too late for an old dog to learn a new trick.

Mccain: it asks for my password... dude, punch in "sexyjohn" for me.

... And, what does THAT thingamajig do? And, THAT one? And, THAT one?....

mccain: so i push this button and the building explodes?

Let's see it will take 6 or 7 years to get any benefits from more offshore drilling. We could have alternative fuels sooner but I'll stay where the money i$.

"Wow !!! "Etch -a-Sketch has really changed since I was a kid."

Don Cull
McDougall Ontario Canada

SO THIS IS WHAT MY DAUGHTERS BLOG LOOKS LIKE

Go to Amazon.com. I want to order Jerome Corsi’s new book.

You can watch movies on these screens during your downtime? Wow. I'm impressed!

Go ahead, Senator. There are no stupid questions....

Looks like McFinger is at it again!

I want to sit here on the platform for the Genesis concert!

Senator, In this little part of the world, I am the senior guy!

I heard omputers are dangerous.... you never know when a helmet can come in use!

"We can drill here, and here, and here...."

Go to Amazon.com. I want to sent Obama a copy of Jerome Corsi’s new book.

Right there! "Presidential decals for hard hats". Order me one, WOW !this site has everything.

Okay, Senator. When I tell you to, flip that little switch!

"So, is this an email?"

"Wait....is this Ms. Pacman?"

Look... Britney's getting out of the car!!!! Wow!!! She's gonna catch a cold!

Now... if you click this button you drop the price of oil by $2.

Don't touch the screen McCain. If you sit still I promise to take you out for ice cream after work.

"Hey, Garrett....isn't this that Sponge Bob everyone talks about?"

Is there any way you can Rig this election for me?

"Looks alot like my daughter's blog!"

John McCain is "admiral for a day" on the Genesis!

Maybe if I point at the screen it will look like I know what all this means.

"Hey Garrett....are we in international waters here?"

Drill here, or here, no wait! try there. I have a good feeling about that spot.

Looks like a really big shark to me!

McCain: "Lemme borrow your Wii Remote, son."

Backstage at the Saddleback Church, August 16
McCain: "..ok, now put all these spots on him, I wanna see Obama sweat!"

Mccain:"Is this the button that destroys Iraq?"

Blah, blah, blah ... What button do I push to get a "Half Caf Double Mocha"

"Orange is NOT my color. I want...THAT one."

Are you sure by just pointing at the screen people will think i look more presidential?

No Senator, that's not the button to start pumping oil; it turns on the coffee pot.

"F10? You sunk my battleship!"

How about turning on Bob the Builder? I can't miss my favorite show.

I told you, I want to drill right here and right NOW!

"Is that the Internets?"
"No."
"Is that the Internets?"
"No."
"What about that? Is THAT the Internets?"
*sigh*

My friend, I think ExxonMobil just checkmated us.

Who did this on the screen? McCain is an (_*_) !

I point and wave in all my pictures, I need the sympathy vote!

Look...I found Waldo!

"What is this thing? I have never seen one before."

What's this button do?
WARNING, WARNING, SELF-DESTRUCT DEVICE ACTIVATED!

Just like Obama's speech, a lot of "Whistles & Bell's"

Senator McCain learns that technological advances have been made since he was a kid.

Hey, look at the words and stuff on that thar televisy thing-a-ma-bober

"OK, there's no way that Chinese gymnast is is older than 12."

It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood, A beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine? Could you be mine?...

"This game is no fun... it doesn't involve Obama bashing."

" So if we start drilling here and keep going, we'll come out through the Water Cube?"

Look, I see the Google!

the other guy says:
"No Senator, when i point and click i use this thing here. We call it a mouse"

“So this internet thing can actually be used by presidential candidates to raise money? I must then immediately halt our panning operation at Sutter’s Mill.”

Can I get onto ebay from here, I'm selling my senate seat, and bidding on a 4 year vacation in the White House

If you increase production right here, we should see the effect as soon as next week.

"Orchestra B, row F, seats 11 & 12. These are GREAT seats for Johnny Mathis!"

Why are my Exxon stock kickback records listed here?

No Senator, that's not Sponge Bob Square Pants.

What does this one mean, huge Sunami heading your way?

Exxon John points to more oil company profits.

McCain: OK, G.G. Let's put the peddle to the metal and get this oil out asap, so prices come down....I got an election to win.

Is this the same screen you see on a BlackBerry?

An Exxon Oil control room operator gives McCain a connect the dots touch screen game to keep him busy, while he actually works!

Mistaking a flow chart for a map of the U.S., Sen. McCain, suggests drilling "Right Here", to increase off shore oil production.

McCains finds the top secret questions to the next debate in his hidden Kava quarters.

Exxon John plots more big business tax refief.

FULL STEAM AHEAD!!

I love these vidio poker machines, hey look, I got Blackjack!

No Sir, when the dial is on "Empty" you can't just "Tap" the screen to see if it's correct.

" Is that what they call an internets ?", senator McCain asked at his first computers for dummys class.

"McCain should be doing commercials for Fathead – that orange safety helmut ALMOST fits him."

Show me how to locate Barack on this GPS

isnt it just like you always see...one person is doing all the work while three people are just goofing off.

See I told you, at 71, I better have more friends on MYSPACE than Obama!!

"Quick go left, they are going to eat Pac-Man."

Uh, no sir we cant go into that chat room. They've banned you. No, you cant go into that one anymore either...

Why do yall have all these Tv's in the office? Hey what channel is that?

McCain lives up to his party's reputation by suggesting "global thermonuclear war" when the computer asks, "Shall we play a game?"

McCain: I'm trying to place a call to Cindy on this thing, but I'm getting no where. Where's that four-eyed geek from Verizon when I need him?

So thats where you find the you tomb !? *Jon Mccain has been hearing about youtube all week*

I want this erased, it shows 134 oil spills actually happened because of Katrina. I don't need another stump speech line of mine being shown to be a lie!

john McCain says "Garrett, if we drill over here we can really tick Obama off."

Mmmmmm pictures of donuts, Mmmmm...DOH

Headquarters; Strategic Energy Command

McCain – "This soda cup could damage electronics, remove it."

"That's nice...but I really came in here to see if you had any orange arm-floaties to match my hardhat."

Is this hat what the young people are wearing these days?

Wow, this oil rig was built in 1936, just like me, wow,thats old, oops.

is noone concerned about the alligator on the right side of the picture?it must be after the mouse

C'mon Senator, pick a spot and move on. Cant you see others waiting to drill?

Denver, we have a problem. Obama's bathroom is without toilet paper.

Doh! Homer Simpson is real life.

McCain-"Bomb here, here and here. *heehee* Just practicing!"

Gambari, Garret....Control room operator 0002
McCain, John....Presidential nominee 2008
Activate, power on, start drilling. mission completed. back to home base.

McCain says " Hey Garrett, can you show me a closeup of the available spot for drilling next to George W., I need some of that Bush money."

No Mr. McCain, that's a diagram of the bathrooms!

you should always be prepared for combat that is why i am wearing a hard hat.

For the last time Senator it's a computer monitor not a "telly-vision!"

"I'm telling you if you click here we will advance to another level of the campaign game!"

McCain points to problem with mud gas separator.

I'm sorry Mr. McCain but this is not the war room and you are not the President, so I can't fire the missles right there!

McCain has already found the secret location the government is really run from.

Can you tell me what that BOFP 2008 means?

As the operator looks on in disbelief, John McCain starts a chain reaction that will cause an oil slick from here to China.
Bud Curtis
Miami, OK

Wow these computer things really can work wonders. What is this little arrow flying around on the screen...

Is that figure in the middle how much I made on my oil stocks in the last hour?

Dr. Evil had to go to the rest room and left the controls.

"You know,I know nothing about computers. Where's a cloak of invisibily when you really need one."

Hey look! There's Waldo!

No Senator, the screen does know what "pull my finger means"

I TOLD YOU! Yugoslavia is on the map next to that war in Georgia and that hurricance in Florida!

The hard headed Mc'Cain'iac points out that he is really 'Abel' to lead offshore drilling, to bring down the price at the pump, before heading to the 'Land of Nod'.

Senator McCain, I can't change the laws of physics. We need more dilithium crystals!

Can I catch CNN on this T.V.?

marie... houston, TX

McCain asks, "Can you see Campbell Brown on this thing?"

I wonder what will pop up if I google "President John McCain?

Mr. McCain, We can't, that's not a map of the border of Iran and Iraq, and they don't border each other, besides, we can't invade again, were already there noe sir.

McCain: Deafcon 4? here let me turn my hearing aid up.

So when I push this drill button, hang on, because my campaign jolts up to Mach III, and Obama can't talk that fast!

Sir, you press the keys on the keyboard, not the monitor.

marie... houston, TX

mccain is learning how to get rich by screwing over the american people much like the oil companies have been doing.

"How strange! This monitor has a video of Michael Dukakis riding in a tank."

"Quick change the channel, Paris is doing a new video blog!"

"if Iclose this valve a little more and slow production, oil prices go right though the roof, and thats how I make my bonus sen."

Drilling for oil...what size bit are you using?

"It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!"

"Do I need to turn it upside down and shake it in order to clear the screen?"

"Nice oil rig you got here. Now why don't we take this tour to the bedroom?"

Sure would please not touch any buttons, you destroy this nuclear plant .
california

Did Al Gore invent this too?

Wesley Chapel, Florida

McCain: Yeah, Hillary can wait for that 3 am phone call and Obama can party like a rock star in Europe, but I'm the one with my finger on the oil button. Take that, suckers!

"According to this schematic diagram, I'm safely inside now and not in a hard hat area."

"That's the record profit you're projected to make? If I'm President, you'll make more than that!"

so, this number that is multipling by the thousands every minute, is how much yall are profitting off of the united states?cool, sign me up!

Ok, people. If you don't vote for me, I'm going to push this here button and turn off your oil.

I'm sorry, Senator, but we can't "get Lawrence Welk on that thing."

mcain demonstrates his national security skills with an online game of battleship. a4- you sunk my battle ship!

"Gotta start wearing my hard hat, wouldn't want to fall and jeopordize my chances of becoming the oldest president in history."

I think I saw a VicePresidential Putty Tat!
I DID
I DID

"I'm pointing, now how do I click? A mouse? WHERE?"

Red hat, no knickers, will be handy to help bail out the rig if Fay or her followers head that way and undermine Senator McCain's offshore
drilling plans.

Is that an "easy button"? If I press it, will I win the presidential race?!

"So can this thing pick a runningmate?

Can we dump my opponent in this cell (pointing) for a few days?

Can I check my myspace on this thing?

this is supposed to be my lunch break, but NOOO,I get stuck showing the old white haired dude the oil business so he doesnt look like a fuddy duddy on national television.

Ha..Ha. now all the oil belongs to me..HA HA HA!

So Pinky,with this I can fullfill my plan to take over the world.

While Garrett monitors pressure gradiants, oil flow, uptake and holding reserves, John McCain triumphantly manages to find his location on the oil rig.

"Look! There is where I used to stand regarding offshore drilling."

Fay's not headed here?, I wish she would visit us! Faye was my first love!

Is this the BUSH FAMILY WELL? George asked me if I wanted a stake in it. How much it producing? Really? I can't wait to start my very own war!

Hey, Diebold makes this thing too?

Does this one go to Obama's campaign headquarters? Ok kill the spigot.

Can I order pizza from this thing?

"Garrett, can that button be used to rig elections too?"

Oil drilling, bringing people of every color together.

Kiran, Calgary, Alberta

Please don't press that button, Senator McCain–you don't want to cause an environmental disaster, especially since you're for off-shore drilling this close to shore!

"Hey Larry the Cable Guy, I found some oil!! Now Git-R-Drilled!!"

Can you make that noise
like Tim on Tool Time?

Should I get rid of the two, and go for a pair,or get rid of the ace and go for the straight ?

This screen look similar to Cindy GPS system

"Hang on tight, this ships goin' or a ride"

The Red one ! Show me the Red one ! I need the practice .

Sen. McCain is leaving his mark on the campaign. In this case, it's just a fingerprint.

There that son of ..bet
you it Obama on TV!

Look- this is me ahead of Obama

You see. I've been telling you all along I'm a hands on guy, with my finger on the pulse of America.

John McCain continues with the habit of always pointing fingers.

Is this that thing Obama uses a lot? Hmmm, I should get one of these. Can't say I'll like wearing the hardhat every time I use it though.

McCain:To much technology,too complicated,does not compute!

Look!! Dammit – there are kids on my lawn AGAIN!!

"How the hell do I order prune juice on this thing?"

Turn on the OBAMARIZER

On board the Chevron Genesis Oil Rig, Garrett Gambari supervises John McCain during a recent national "Take a Presidential Candidate to Work" Day.

Hey – you said this was a Chevron Rig. How come everything says HALLBURTON on it???

McCain:
"Drill here! Drill now!"

Okay, so If I click this button gas prices will go down $2 a gallon?

Gambari:Now Mr.McCain,you'll see here on this oil rig...
McCain:Oil!Where!?

Sorry to interrupt you, son, but that little arrow thing just moved again on the screen.

Peter T
Mankato, MN

Senator McCain uses finger gesters to communicate his needs while waiting in his "cone of silence".

So, what was that website Governor Spitzer kept going to...just curious, ya know...

First we see him on the Religious Platform , then we see him on a Oil Platform . Dare we hope too see him on a Platform of Defeat ?

My friend If you vote for me, I can guaranty a lower pain on the gas pump.

No Senator you can't blug from here; and it's pronounced blog.

McCain asks,"Now if I press here my friend, will it fill the tank of my Straight Talk Express?"

Can you get the HILLS on this – i missed last week's episode!!

Yes, Senator, that's what they call a monitor.

here it is

So Cheney really owns ALL of this?????

Remember Senator, you break it you buy it.

This is how much the price of oil has dropped since I got on to offshore drilling rigs and added a red hat to brighten up my 'finger pointing' stand up routine.

Senator , if you move your Battleship over there , it will sink this rig.

McCain seems somewhat confused by the 'point & click' instructions.

Sir, I told you a hundred times. Just because you touched it, doesn't mean it's yours.

Presidential Candidate John McCain demonstrates the importance of wearing safety gear – such as a helmet – when playing computer games.

But Sir, you're on an oil rig. We are drilling here and we are drilling now.

Excuse me , but I got some of that Soft Tissue on my finger and its clinging too the screen .

Can you get the Flintstones on this thing?

So your telling me I can not get online and check what's todays beat 360 pic of the day is. Than if you can tell me my friend, what do these computers have to do with drilling for oil???

Call Lieberman and tell him he's got the vp spot if he can explain how this works.

"Okay Boys...DRILL AT WILL!!"

The Second Annual "Bring Your Grandfather to Work Day."

Oh my GOD – There's Jimmy Hoffa!!!!!

See here? That's where *I* invented the internet.

Looks like tanks and artillery coming from cuba

McCain was pointin' for the dude...when up through the gulf come a bubblin' crude, oil that is, black gold, texas tea...

I know about Fay – but does it work on Florida votes?

If this system is so secure, how did that little ant get in there?

Hop up Garrett, It is my turn. I don't think so John.

Senator, has pointing your finger become your campaign trademark ?

It's pulling up how much oil? Wow my Big Oil supporters should love this. Maybe they will give more money for my campaign.

So, ladies and gentlemen, if I say I'm an oil man you will agree.

You know if it wasnt for good friend Thomas Edison we would be doing this in the dark.

McCain- Wow! What is this thing? I've never seen anything like it.

Control Room Operator- That is a computer. Most U.S. household's have them.

Wow look how much my oil stocks have risen!

"This is the last time I let my grandfather wear my hard hat and pretend he's with the times"

"PLEASE DON'T Touch anything senator"

McCain- And what does this large grey area signify?

Control room Op.- That is all the surplus of oil that we are hiding from the people, so that we can continue to keep gas prices outrageously high.

"I think i can see my house from here..."

Hey, what's Obama doing over there on the right of the screen?

So, this is where I'll make all of my profits!

I like that screen .....so many colors....is yellow represent oil?

"Who do I have to sleep with to get a Beat 360 t-shirt?"

According to McCain he was the only one let in the control center because Obama's head was too big for the orange hard hat.

Control Room Operator- Once again Sen., there is no reason to where a hard hat, we are in a secure office.

Sen. McCain- After Vietnam, I don't take any chances.

No thats Washington
No thats Texas
Yes, thats the Gulf

David Archuleta's Dad and John McCain discuss their strategy to take over the world.

"Now I usually wear a hard hat when I work on the computer, but what does that say? I forgot my reading goggles."

"Look there...that's gasoline – some say it's after the refining process...but I say it's gasoline the moment the drill hits the oil bed."

So which one of these is for regular and which one is for premium?

So, this is all it takes to beat Obama?

We must all use extreme caution around this newfangled technology. HARDHATS ON!

"No! Too orangy. I want my hair to be the same color as Kathy Griffin."

"So you're honestly telling me the arrow this here screen moves whenever you move that gerbil down there? Amazing..."

how do you put this back on Halo?

Is this the button to drill right here? Oh, 10,000 Barrels hmm... not enough!

Yes Senator, thats where we buried Mccain2000

I just can't do it, Senator. I don't have the power!

How many times do you have to press this 'Mission Accomplished' button?

can this thing feel my finger?

More drilling more drilling! Can't this dangnabbed series of tubes work.

I just can't do it, Senator. I don't have the power

Bubba, a Chevron lobbiest, pulls up the new menu of available payoffs for senate members as John Mc Cain points to a good spot to start drilling in Alaska.

SO IS THIS THE MAGIC BUTTON THAT TELLS ME WHO OBAMA IS PICKING AS HIS RUNNING MATE?

Oh fiddlesticks! What are these thingamajigs for my friend?

__________________________________________________

WOW, are those Chevrons second quarter earnings! I'm in the wrong line of business, my friend.

[Marie ~ Houston, TX]

Yes we have a Starbucks, Pizzahut and a Piggley Wiggley open 24/7 ,and all the proceeds are going to support your campaign Senator . Its the least we can do to keep our jobs .

McCain: I bet I could see my house from here

So now which one of these will fix the 12:00 flashing on my VCR.

Obama is ahead....! Where does it say that?

If there's anything you don't understand Senator, just point to it.

and this little dot means...oil???

I don't see the 'YOU ARE HERE' sign. After I become President, I'll pass a bill to get you one.

Well, I may need a job in January.

"Look here John this is where we get the virual 3:oo A.M. phone calls from Exon checking on their inventory"

Judi Smith from Warren, Michigan

Ummm, yes, Senator. It's real.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No Mr. McCain, a PowerPoint is a little more complicated than just extending a finger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Marie ~ Houston, TX]

Careful Senator: The screen is covered with oil.

See, that's the room I was sequestered in. Couldn't hear a thing...

Hey, here's something where I don't have to *wink (cheat)! Can only be one of two things, Pac-man or Frogger! Chump it on Jump it! Go, go!

"Garrett, pump that oil faster, and I'll make you my Vice President!"

I'm telling you it's a hardhat area. See, it says so here. . . . somewhere.

Now are we on the internets here?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, now that I've done a PowerPoint,
show me how to do the blog thing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Marie ~ Houston, TX]

does this thing get tvland, i'm missing gunsmoke

YOU KNOW IF IT WASNT FOR MY GOOD FRIEND THOMAS EDISON WE WOULD BE DOING THIS IN THE DARK.

"I picked this rig for it's name, Genesis, to appeal to the religious right."

DANGER! A McCainiac at work after escaping from the Senate.

The new route for the Straight Talk Express seems to end right at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

And this is where you'll assure me that Debold electoral bounce.

If they thought you made a lot of money last year i'll bet if you drill here we'll make twice the profit we made 2007

Geez, is that how much you are bilking the America public for? Where can I get a piece of that?

BE honest. This hat makes me look sexy doesn't it?

My people tell me I'm aware of the internet.

Rick Davis was right! I can easily pass for 60 years old with this hat!

"Don't worry, Senator...once we head outside, we'll tell you exactly what to say to the press."

Wilmington Delaware

So that is where Bush is hiding Osama !!!

They tried to say I plagiarized a speech off of Wikipedia, but how could I do that when I'm hardly aware of all these internets.

Senator McCain...! It is NOT as simple as dril here, here and here...!

Senator those aren't your ratings that are rising, those are our profits.

McCain: "I always wanted to dress like one of the Village People."
Garrett: "I would've said more "Bob the Builder", but whatever floats your boat, oldtimer."

I feel like Bob the Builder.

Mr. McCain...! Finger Pointing will NOT help solve the Oil Crisis

Mr.McCain...! Rolling up your sleeve, wearing a hard hat and pointing to the screen does NOT mean millions of barrles of oil will gush out...!

It's hard to play this Wii without the remote.

Careful with that Senator! If you increase production, and gas prices fall, I'll be horse-whipped!

Ticin
San Diego, CA

Do I press here for creme and sugar?

Garrett, did you say THERE is where I'd find my VP?

is this the one that launches the missile?

Look, the price of oil is falling. I'm better at this than I thought.

Thanks for the pose Mr. McCain, we have the beat 360 picture...! CNN viewers thank you for the fun we will have with it...!!!

OK ....... so let me get this straight, down the stairs, 2 left turns and then the men's room is on my right.

What do you mean I've been superpoked by Obama!?

Uh what does this button do?

Uh, sir its not a touch screen...

I wish they had maps like this when I traveled with Lewis & Clark!

No you can't play World of Warcraft on that one.

Help me out here ..... I'm a little fuzzy - Is this the thing that you see the internet on?

Sorry Senator McCain, but we don't use crayons with OUR computers.

Is this how many electoral votes this platform gets?

McCain, please stop wiping your boogers on my monitor.

What's hidden in this" Black Gold " folder ?

Presidential candidate John McCain proves his age hasn’t hindered his technical prowess; seen here teaching the platform's staff to program their Tivo.

This screen should be red not blue.

I'm not sure how I'm going to explain this all to Cindy, so I'd appreciate it if you'd jot down a few notes for me and follow me home. Thanks.

Can I be the ghosts and he be the little yella guy?

This is a lot better monitor than my analog TV!

Simpson eh? Smithers, release the hounds.

How did that butter get in there?

Cool, I've always wanted to press the big red button!

While promoting his energy policy, presidential candidate John McCain paused to give technical support to the staff of Chevron's Genesis Oil Rig Platform...specifically, how to program their Tivo's to skip AC360.

"Are these the Sunnis or the Shiites?"

when did this rig become an adult daycare?

enee meenee minee mo

Who put AC360 on your monitor??

So, if I understand this computer oil rig game right, I get points for not crashing the little red things into the bigger yellow and brown things, and vice versa....

"How much does There Will be Blood cost on demand?"

I sure wish we had these during the gold rush.

So where does all the waste go ? We turn it into Bio Fuel Senator .

Can you send Cindy an email for me on this thing?

What does this button do?

Is this the button for WW3?

Look there! The surge is working! The search? No, the surge!

So, Garrett, tell me again what this area is.

Well, Senator McCain, that'd be the bathroom.

"Wait is that oil?" "It's about time." "Wow and it only took tax payers dollars to find it; I wonder how bush is doing in Texas with his drilling?"

A mishap during "Career Day" for the seniors from a local center finds some of them wandering off the bus!

John McCain insists that he has finally found Waldo.

So this is where Carl swims in the Scum Pool on D deck .

Which one of these buttons turns off the cone of silence?

Can you pull up a map of New Orleans and show me a good spot for lunch?

So this is the "facebook" them kids are so crazy about.

"I SAID PULL MY FINGER!!!"

"I told you, it doesn't work like that sir..."

Sorry McCain, we keep the controls to all of the politicians in a separate gas company control room.

"How come I have to wear a hard hat and you don't? "

"Because you're standing over the trap door."

"This one?"

"Yep."

– Peter
– BC, Canada

Say, do know if JR Ewing has one of these

I want everyone to know that I'm hip to today's culture. Click here so that we can play Pong and listen to the Sugar Hill Gang. Word.

"You have to bring down the bass,higher the treble, and put a little more kick on that snare...."

I want to make sure you all got my resume. I will need a job in November after the election.

This is the closet i will ever get to fulfilling my fantasy of being Bob the builder....... soak it up!!!

"That's right, Senator, that's how oil prices can finger the economy."

My friend is this the speculator box ..... 'cause if it is let's Zap the bastards!

Not exactly "The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau," is it?

DRILL THERE
DRILL THERE
DRILL THERE
DRILL THERE
DRILL THERE
DRILL THERE
DRILL THERE
DRILL THERE

Does this come with solitaire?

Where is the power button on this TV?

Mr. McCain it's a computer screen sir. Go ahead you can touch it.

CALVIN NEW ORLEANS

Hey, can we order theater tickets on that like Cindy does?

just like shooting fish in a barrel..... or cheyenne hunting!!!

Can I get the upcoming debate questions on this?

You mean oil comes from under the ground?

Let's play thermonuclear war ..................

Bueller? ..... Bueller? ....... Bueller?

" this program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down"

Do you think a Surge would work right here.

McCain tells the engineer, right there!!! ... right there!!! ...Drill hear; Drill there; drill know.

"So is this what email looks like?"

So tell me, which one of these 2 guys are you going to vote for in November?

That is the strangest test pattern I've ever seen.

You will give me 1 BILLION dollars.....muhah, muhahahhahaaaaha

Despite the constant drone in his ears, Garrett fights to stay awake at the controls.

If you will explain me what this screen is about -I will tell you who next president will be!!!!!

Now if we open this valve, we can run the oil from Boon Pickens rig right into my own oil reserve supply.

"That'll do it .... Senator Obama's red phone will now ring at precisely 3:00 a.m."

Looks like we're running a little low!!!

Pride of America NCLA – Orlando Florida

Do you think a Surge would work right here?

Senator McCain practices his next stump speech in front of a disinterested third party.