How serious is this in itself? Not very. Like I said I usually laughed it off. But "little things" like this can add up. Why is assuming we are athletes and entertainers a problem? Because it can mean we are taken less seriously as doctors, lawyers, and CFOs. Does that truly hurt us? It's hard to quantify, but it can make us feel that we have to first get people to overcome their preconceptions before getting to work on climbing that ladder.

This is just like Baracks speech on absent fathers. Not once did that man single out black fathers, it was a speech on fathers who suck of every race.

smh

We'll never eliminate racial bias (or any other kind of bias) completely at the individual level. As a society we can legislate against bias of the State, including the individual who works for the State. Protest and negative press can impact businesses that exhibit bias. But the biased individuals who aren't abusing a position of power can't be fully eradicated.

Frankly, the USA espouses freedom of speech and thought. Those that wish to express their ignorance will always be able to do so. And there will always be some people with a bias.

Reduction in the number of individuals harboring bias (whether consciously or not) can only be reduced with attention and time. TJ's article will help some individuals open up and understand their biases. By "Time" in this sense we are probably talking about a generation or two.

Slavery existed for 3000 years in many civilizations around the world. All races were enslaved.

A caring, enlightened population in the fledgling U.S.A. and Britian chose to discontinue the institiution less than 200 years ago. Race wasn't a consideration.

I can't name a country where descendents of slaves have achieved as much as they have in the USA.

It's easy to list the negatives that blacks experienced in the history of the USA. When we recognize and list the positives we'll see where progress has been made.

Finally, maybe the guy at the carwash was hoping to overcome his personal bias through idle conversation. Did he stumble in his attempt or did you stumble in your reply? Can society overcome the obstacle of racial bias without a risk of stumbling?

"There is a reason God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth....to Listen twice as much as we talk". Please use this quote when dealing with race relations to try and understand where someone from another ethnicity is coming from.

None of us are perfect so instead of putting down those even further than they already are how about extending a hand to lift them up.

None of us are perfect so instead of putting down those even further than they already are how about extending a hand to lift them up.

Stereotyping is the process of using context clues to make assumptions and categorize people. This is NOT a evil or "racist" process. When I enter a room full of strangers I immediately am forced to make assumptions about those around me. The people in suits are likely business people, those in uniforms are likely low level employees, those in coveralls or Dickeys are likely the janitors. I am going to address those in business attire as "Sir or Madam" where as the guys in coveralls I'd be far less formal. When making small talk I might ask the suits about their alma mater whereas I'd talk to the janitor about sports. If you object to the category you fall into then you should change how you present yourself rather than expecting everyone else to change long-held often reinforced assumptions.

How does this apply to the car wash? If you don't want to be assumed to be a rapper or pro athlete, skip the rims and buy a sensible car. If I wanted to present the image of an educated successful professional I might ditch the "hot ride" and instead pick up a "classy automobile." If you look like a thug (clothes, car, race, and all) then don't be surprised when you are confused for being a thug. Black people, listen to Chris Rock: buy stocks not rims and quit harassing other blacks for being "too white" when all they are doing is trying to project an educated and professional image.

The flip side is that those who make initial assumptions that prove to be wrong must be willing to adjust your assumptions. My best example is when a guy meets the future in laws for the first time. You should be on your best behavior, dress well, dot your "i" and cross your "t." But eventually you will learn if you can call your future father in law "Bud" rather than Sir and if it is acceptable to tell a dirty joke. Use stereotypes to make intelligent assumptions and then adjust as you get to know the individual and how they are different than your assumptions. I'll change my assumptions about those with "hot rides" and 22's as soon as the MAJORITY of their owners have fully funded 401(k)s and 529s for their kids education first.

People will always be prejudice about something, if we were all the same color than we'd dislike people with big noses or something equally silly.

Mr. Holmes is a journalist. You trust him to give you the news about the economy but you don't trust him when he's telling you about his personal experience. He's just making that up for...effect? I don't believe that's true. Mr. Holmes is an educated man with a great career. He does not need to impress anyone nor does he need to make up stories to pump himself up. In fact, I applude Mr. Holmes for having the courage to express (on such a public relm) a situation that had to be embarassing for him.

I think that those who discount someone's feelings is working only to make themselves feel better. Maybe instead of questioning why Mr. Holmes would tell such a story some of you should consider why you refuse to believe his experience.

TJ,
Did you gently correct this person's bad assumptions? If not why not? If you think the guy is oblivious point it out to him as nicely as possible.
His answer would probably something like: "I'm sorry, I meant no disrespect." Then he'd hang his head and walk away embarrassed. The guy would at least think about it later and possibly open his mind up.

People need to realize that our perceptions are tainted by past experiences, educations, and stereotypes. It isn't just a race thing either. You will be better and smarter at work and life in general if you realize your own perceptions can be tainted.

In life, work, etc. I've tried to look at issues from all sides. Giving the other guy and honest look at it from his point of view. TJ, while the guy who approached you didn't think about this from your point of view, I don't think you thought about his point of view either. Many posts in this thread have proposed alternate thoughts on his part. If you don't start looking at it from his possible points of view, don't expect the other guy to try and look at it from yours.

And uh, um, oh yeah. I grew up in nor cal. When the article mentioned the 49'ers I immediately thought you do look a little bit like Ronnie Lott. No disrespect intended. Frankly this should be flattering.

PS.... I'm 5' 7" (I outweigh you by 40 lbs though). 5' 11" is tall compared to me. Unless the guy has a trained eye to spot height and weight who knows what he perceives. If you were clothed as you described, I couldn't tell the difference between 5' 11' 165lbs. and 6' 2" and 220lbs.

TJ, I have to admit I can't envision a CNN anchor pushing an SUV with rims and tint (LOL), but I will say that I think CNN plays the color card well. They get people who are ambiguously ethnic, and they all are about the same hue. Suzanne Malveaux, Soledad O'Brien, yourself, Fredericka all look black, but look "ambiguously black" as if you all could change your names and pass for Latino or Native American Indian if need be. Heck, I will even throw Carolyn(?) Costello in the mix as she looks pretty ethnic herself – like Fredericka's fairer sister.

Anyway, TJ brush that dirt off your shoulder and roll with it...