It’s unbelievable how some people have the nerve to just spout out their unjustified thoughts without thinking of the consequences and that these kind of comments can hurt another person. We’re not talking only about skin colour here, we’re talking about a human being who we’re supposed to treat the way we treat ourselves. Skin colour,race and religion don’t count. A man has a right to learn and be successful in whatever career s/he chooses. So, keep it up TJ. We’re proud of you

It is sad in this day and age that people stereotype people just by their looks. It is sad that people will look at someones skin color and automatically decide who or what type of a person that they are. When in reality they may be the nicest person you’d want to meet.

I have a friend who is black and is over 6 ft tall and near 250 lbs. He owns his own company and drives several expensive cars. He is always asked if he is a football player or a drug dealer! The man goes to church and preaches in jails to the inmates!! He just shrugs it off as peoples ignorance also.

People who think and act this way won’t change just because of a documentary or others trying to “talk” to them. That is why we need to get the kids at a very young age and teach them that judging others is not right. That we all are the same inside and that is what matters most.

Cindy…Ga.

TJ, great story and a great example of racial bias. And guess what? You’re in the very position to change the image of young black males in the media. Often times when we’re shown in the news it’s usually because we have committed a crime. Very rarely are we seen when we have done something positive. I don’t blame white people for that misperception, I blame the white media. Even more interesting, is now we can see more racial biases in the media due to there being the first black democratic nominee and how overly scrutinized he has been and is still being scrutinized. Also, there’s a lot of negative spins when it comes to Sen. Obama.

Truthfully, CNN is also guilty of racial biases. During the week and the prime time hours, we only see the white anchors. The white talents of CNN are the only ones who have their own shows. However, we have to wait until the weekend to see you or Fredricka Whitfield. There’s no diversity in the viewing of all the CNN talents. I don’t think a lot of people pay attention to that. But I give CNN some credit because the other cable news networks and non-cable networks alike, I rarely see a black face at all. But there’s room for diversity everywhere and room to change people perceptions of minorities in the media.

Man I get this all the time. I am a 6′ 6′ pharmaceutical sales rep and I get questions about being a basketball ball player all the time.

These questions mainly come from older white Americans though.

I used to get angry about it because I wonder why a black man can ‘t just go to college and get an education and work in the corporate environment. Why did he have to play ball or currently be playing ball to make anything out of life

After a while I would just kindly respond by saying “No, actually I used to be a horse jockey in the Kentucky Derby”

It is at this point in time where some will start to pick up by my polite sarcasm that I probably get that question all the time.

This whole “black in america” piece is a tedious, worthless piece of boring journalism.

I am white and I’ve been asked if I play professional sports as well. What social injustice can I blame this on? Hmmmm…let me think about it…I’m sure I’ll be able to come up with something.

Not to beat a dead horse…but, T.J., the guy said “Man, I just gotta know. What do you guys do to have nice cars like that?”. You heard, “Man, I just gotta know. What do you black guys do to have nice cars like that?” How do you know the guy didn’t mean, “Man, I just gotta know. What do you guys that have really nice cars like that do to have nice cars like that?”

Do you think maybe you are being a little overly sensitive? That’s what it sounds like.

TJ thanks for your unsight. As you can see here from these bloggers that many White people think we (black people) are overly sensitive. I seriously doubt that they have ever taken the time to wonder why……… Never taken the time to look at the history of the country and its people. They don;t understand what it means to live in a country where the laws of the land weren’t written for you (blacks) but in the past was against you. It must be nice to LIVE IN THAT AMERICA.

I experienced a similar encounter with a Baltimore City Police Officer in the late 1980’s. At that time I drove a late model Nissan Maxima and by husband drove a late model Volvo. My car was hit while parked outside our home and I called the police to get an accident report. When the police officer arrived and saw we owned our home and had two late model vehicles, he ran a background check on the both of us PRIOR to even discussing the accident for which he was called in the first place. In another incident around that time, a caucasion co-worker, who had seen me driving both cars, questioned how I could afford the cars. I simply reminded him that I was paid for the job I do as well as he. Ironically, he drove a high end Saab at the time.

I’m a white woman who lives in the south I do know what T.J is saying is happening. I have seen it happen a lot.

I think a lot of the problem is that people tend generalize everyone. All black people are like this or all Asians are good at math…that type of thing. We are all individuals and my wish is one day we can be treated by our own merits.

I think to deny that this is an issue is refusing to deal with the problem and make it better. I have no idea what it’s like to be in a black person’s shoes but I do try to understand the issues they can face. A lot of people in my family feel like “Damian” but I think until you walk a mile in someone’s shoes you can’t possibly know what someone else goes through.

Thanks for a great article T.J. !

Tesap, I didn’t say black people are overly sensitive – I said TJ was being overly sensitive.

Also interesting that you took my comment and applied it to all white people. All white people didn’t say TJ was being overly sensitive – I did.

Folks, this is the problem. Anything that a white person or black person says or does that is seen as offensive is applied to the entire race by insecure and unintelligent people.

TJ thanks for the insight I have heard others say the same thing.
I really appreciate your journalism on CNN.

Dan,
My brother in law is also about your height and alsogets asked that question about baasket ball and he is a white teacher. So it is not just because you are black..

Damian you know what they say about an opinion………anyways!

I am enlightened as a black person from the caribbean by this documentary. To think that the scenarios that damian pointed out could have been the real intent of the man asking T.J the question would show that one is not being realistic about the real truth about white people’s(some)… opinion of black people.
I myself as a black person form my own opinion about certain images i see in our black communities. it is a common human trait. that is were education comes in and i am not speaking of education from some ivy league institution i am speaking of common place education where we get to know a person before we make assumptions.

I would ask a young white guy the same question. Maybe you are a bit oversensitive and were looking for a racial bias that wasn’t really there.

Maybe he actually thought you looked like one of the 49’s players..

I agree with you…as soon as I hear any insults or bias toward me, I know that it is that person’s problem or ignorance -it has nothing to do with me. Doesn’t everyone have to deal with some sort of abuse or bias?

come on now of course you play football, basketball, ice hockey (well maybe not) baseball, curling, fencing and biking (on and off road). NASCAR is next.

What is going on with CNN and black related stories? There are more latinos in the US than blacks now and yet there are no stories on their stuggles. Is CNN becoming the next BET?

I’m pretty sure every person in the world has had someone say something strange, offensive, or otherwise inexplicable to them. This happens to young business owners who people assume to be interns, for example, routinely. Just give an amusing response, and move on.

Funny.

I saw this same incident in the movies. Guy drives up in a hot car. Another guy asks him (something like) “What do you do to drive a car like that?”

Only, of course, in that movie, Will Smith is doing the asking. And no one thinks it’s racist.

I do not deny that bias and misconceptions exist, and that it’s sad. But it’s sad to read so much into an offhand comment, too.

It is America’s shame that this kind of racial bias still exists in this country. How long is it going to take for people in this country to move beyond race and racial stereotypes? Soon I hope!

When the person asked “Man, I just gotta know. What do you guys do to have nice cars like that?” isn’t it possible that he was just admiring a vehicle that he could not afford and wanted to know what you did for a living?

Nearly the exact same phrase was uttered by Will Smith portraying Chris Gardener’s charachter in the movie “The Pursuit of Happiness.” That exchange lead Chris Gardener to become a stock brocker.

Perhaps if you hadn’t assumed this was a racially biased question you might have inspired someone to become a journalist…think about it.

So how do you go about getting a really hot car?

I dream of the day when it just does not matter any more…………..

To damien. I think it’s important to realize that these occurances black people talk about aren’t one time things. TJ gave one example of how he’s experienced bias. I’m pretty sure he could give you a lot more if asked. Is it possible that maybe he misinterprted what the guy said and overreacted? I suppose it is. But when you see a pattern of this behavior that other blacks notice as well and talk about, it gets a little frustrating to constantly be told that “Well you might have just been oversensitive”. If it happens once or twice? Ya I suppose that would be the case. When you deal with it your entire life only to be told you’re imagining it, in a lot of cases by people who DON’T experience it, it gets extremely tired. And is one of the reason why many blacks are skeptical about race relations now and race relations in the future.

I believe we would see much less bias on both sides if we worked to be less offended and more understanding.

Im a blue caller hardworker from ohio, i grew up in a post racial society… im only 23… but I hate being put into this stereotype of redneck racist… so what I may wear a cowboy hat and get loud from time to time… doesent mean I cant do it with a brotha…

This response is for Damian: When you proclaimed to know what TJ heard as opposed to what was said, what makes you the expert the thinking of an African American?? While your point “What do you guys that have really nice cars like that do to have nice cars like that?” is plausible, wouldn’t it have been phrased that way from start?? Additionally, you neglected to touch on the point of being a football player…How would that comment be defended? Other than being fully clothed washing his car, what trait was portrayed to lead him to believe TJ as a football player?? Perhaps it was the black man in a nice vehicle combination…..but then that negates your argument…in context, there was only one way to take the comment…exactly what it was at the time it was said…..

Funny, I would have guessed you played golf or maybe were running for president.

Hmmmm another story about this garbage??? Come on with the black stuff…… Why is everyone so sensitive and it’s getting worse… I’m sick of this black pride trash…… I’m not racist, but I’m sick of people calling other people bias and racist, but won’t be accountable for themselves!!!!!!!!!!

To Damian, “a worthless boring piece of journalism??”" How ignorant are you? Perhaps you should watch the show and gain more insight into the steretypes that Black Americans have had to endure for basically our entire existence here. We cannot walk into a store without being followed around. Or better yet have the white salesperson run to help another white person before you yet you were in the store and/or line first? Do you have a hard time getting a job because your name is not Paul, John, Jacob, Luke, etc.? Do you have a hard time getting approved for a mortgage? Is your credit scruntinized more heavily? I’m sure you can answer “No” to the majority of these questions. Like Claire said, until you have walked a mile in a Black man’s shoes, you do not know what that man is going through.

I am 6′4 and white and get the “did you play basketball question”. I think you might be reading into the fact that your black more than the person that asked you. If a black person asked you the same question would you have taken offense to it? I doubt it. I see it all the time as I work for two young (age 25) successful bosses. All the time they get asked what they do to make money to afford such nice cars. They are white. They dont take offense to it because they are white.

I dont disagree that people sterotype black people, but I do think that black people use their skin color as an excuse to explain.

Oh one more thing?
In the article it reads “Yes, I’ve been called the N-word. To be honest, it never really upset me because as soon as that word comes out of someone’s mouth, I’m pretty sure that I’ve won the argument. That person has just confirmed how ignorant they are.” So does he think the black ladies from The View are ignorant?

Damian doesn’t understand that after experiencing racism your whole life, you become an expert at determining whether “you guys” means “you guys” or “you black guys.”

I sometimes wonder if in some instances what we see as racism might be stereo typing. Stereo typing is something that people of all color must deal with which can also be just as negative as racism. A large guy that is muscular must take steroids white or black, a guy wearing overalls and driving an old truck must be a dumb farmer white or black, a guy dressed in a suit must be educated and work a high paying job white or black. Sometimes its all about image that people have in their heads of how certain people should look, dress or act.

give me a break. He probably was half joking and you made it into something it wasn’t. Not too many 5′11 165 pound men of any color play pro football. Bull crap like this creates more resentment and distrust. Why don’t you stick to real stories of racism, not ones you invented due to paranoia.

20 years ago I was told that white’s would soon be the minority and it is my belief that we are.
I drive through a black neighborhood on my way to work and I have been pulled over by the police and asked if I am looking for drugs.
I know I have been passed over for opportunities because I am white.
I am not a racist but I do think you judge the person by the person,not skin color….and that is a two-way street.

Have you *ever* looked at yourself in a mirror? Looking at that promo shot I immediately think…

model
professional athlete
actor
spokesman
inspirational speaker

Sorry, T.J.. Your problem isn’t that you’re black, it’s that you’re a tall, handsome, charismatic man. “Regular” people are always going to think you have a magic secret, no matter what color you are. A face like that and a hot car don’t scream “educated man,” they say “look at me! Of *course* I have a hot car!”

As soon as I saw the heading of the article I laughed out loud and my co-workers were puzzled. I told them about an experience I had when my son was born on 07/07/08.

He weighed 8.9 pounds. The first thing the nice white doctor said to me was that “he is big and he is going to be a football player.”

I said to myself, why not a doctor, a lawyer, a scientist, a teacher, a politician, a professor, etc..” I did not ponder on it for long, I was just happy my baby was born and both the mother and the baby were healthy.

Here we go, let us be all we can be.
Thanks TJ for a great article.

If I were TJ, I would have said I am a News Anchor in the TV station and they pay me good, and moved on. TJ seems to be ( and perhaps many more people), seem to be sensitive (and justifiably so) about this type of questions. However, we all can be little more confident and try not suffer from complexes, (no matter what is the reason). I admire TJ and his blog is well written and touches on emotional level.

Damien, you exemplify the typical white attitude when it comes to subtle racism. As a blackman with dual masters degrees from a first class university I can tell you personally that young black men are judged first by race and age by many people of all races.

Much of it has to do with the fact that the media rarely depicts positive images of black men, instead choosing to seek out negative stories. Daily, many people of all races commit crimes but in the media we see mostly black faces. In major newsroom we see mostly white faces. What is the subtle message?

TJ, thank you for your insights.

I’m a teacher and one of the hardest challenges facing me these days is reconciling the labels placed upon my students externally with the labels they choose for themselves. My school prepares diversity programs and offers a multicultural center designed to support each and every student’s individuality, but mostly what happens is a recurrance of stereotyping into tiny, little, meaningless boxes to keep each person “in line.” I wish we lived in a society where it wasn’t what someone looked like, or how they dressed, or their accent, or gender, or sexuality, that decided how they were treated by others.

it’s kind of sad in today’s world that this type of bias exists, but it does. more often with all kinds of races in all countries. not just in america. so it’s not an American problem, it’s a human being problem. nice article tho.

Darrell Green, DB Washington Redskins. Considered one of the best DB’s in NFL histroy.
5″ 11″‘, 160 lbs.

And I’ve asked white people who roll up in a S Class and ask what he does to have nice cars like that. Why? Because I want to have S Class too.

Regards,
Typical White Person

I agree that most people may not be racist, just bias. I remember a few months ago, me and a co-worker were sitting in a fast food restaurant watching CNN (no really). I work for an insurance company so I was dressed in slacks and a button-up shirt. They were talking about Obama that day and the election. This white guy sitting across from me began to try and school me on politics with a history lesson. He said “there was this guy, Abraham Lincoln, he was a president a long time ago”. That statement alone shocked me, as if I may not know who he was.

Its ashame that people who are not Black seem to understand that with us it happens much to often to just be a coincidence.

Let’s face it! When you see a handsome, well-conditioned black man, you think football, basketball, and baseball. The fact is that most black men are nowhere NEAR the top or mid-level corporate ladder. They have no one to blame but themselves. They are the ONLY people not to make it in this country! Just a fact.

TJ, nice commentary. Racism and prejudice is alive and well. Your candor and frankness as a CNN anchor is appreciated.

Stereotypes exist for a reason!

By my count there are 6 players on the 49ers roster who have a similar height and weight, so for someone to think that you played proffessional football is not at all ridiculous. Now if you were 5′5″ and he asked you if you played for the Warriors, I would understand your point.

Don’t be so sensetive. He was probably paying you a compliment.

who is this guy? and who cares? what a stupid article…WE DON”T CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID CHROME WHEELS OR HOW LITTLE MONEY YOU MAKE…OR ABOUT YOUR “HOT” CAR…IDIOT

It’s very true that these sterotypes still do exist…..obviously, granted the Black men in America, still lags behind other men in other races class/education wise.

T.J.’s story doesn’t surprise me, however what is really interesting is the way he ended that piece….really nice touch on salaries and biases.

Francine

Just reading the two bloggers negative comments about this article, just drives home the fact people see only what they want to see.

Nice article TJ!

I live in the Bay Area and became familiar with T.J. Holmes when he was an anchor at a local TV news station. I knew right away that this guy was going places – no matter what color he was. I wasn’t surprised to see him go national at CNN.

Great job, T.J. Keep it up!

It’s the same ignorance passed down from parents & grandparents. People learn these ways of thinking. They don’t just happen upon them. I do hope you told the man what a success you are & left nothing out. I’d have loved to see the look on his face.

All the person asked was “What do you have to do to drive a nice car like that.” Color of skin was not an issue. It was assumed by you that was what was meant. You know what ASSUME means. It can make an ASS out of U and ME. Whenever people are envious they ask questions about how they can obtain what you have. You should be flattered. When I was in school, gym class, the students would vote on what activity to do in the class, the majority votes would determine the activity. Nowadays, if 99 people want to play baseball and 1 wants to play soccer, they play soccer to accomodate the 1. Things are really crazy.

What a crybaby. Be thankful for what you’ve accomplished, and quit trying to blame people for your own misperceptions.

TJ, I can see how you would take the comment the way you did. But, trying to be as unbiased as I can be, I see the comment in a totally different perspective. This guy was acting like he didn’t know how to get a nice car. Duh, go get a good job and work for it. It seems like everyone in this country thinks the only way to do well and live comfortably is to make millions of dollars in pro sports. If people would learn to live within their means, they could save up for nice cars like the ones you drive.
I will admit that I have stereotypes about black people. I have tons of black friends and I went to school with them and worked with them so it’s not like I cannot speak from experience. But, I will tell you that the majority of black people I run into are mean. They are mean to me even if they don’t know my name. I am the last person you would call a racist so I don’t know why I get treated the way I do. And, most of the black people I meet are either high school drop outs working part time jobs and living on welfare or they make money illegally. But black society is just like white society. There are a lot of whites who give us a bad name and sterotype as well. I think eveyone, regardless of color, needs to start taking responsibility for their lives and decisions and quit blaming it on other people.

LOL. I am a 5-10, 185 lb young black professional male and this happened to me all the time when I went to college. People always asked if I played Division I NCAA football. Yeah, it’s pretty shallow minded for them to ask those types of questions, but there’s a lot worse they could (and have) ask.

Truth is, we gotta place more value academic and educaucational achievement in black american culture and then maybe other people will stop stereotyping us like that. It ain’t right, but we, and BET, contributes.

Two things here,

First: “Yes, I’ve been called the N-word. To be honest, it never really upset me because as soon as that word comes out of someone’s mouth, I’m pretty sure that I’ve won the argument. That person has just confirmed how ignorant they are.”

-that could not have been put any more eloquently – I come from an “old fashioned” area and everyone, including my family used it all the time like it was nothing – never been more embarrassed to know people

Second: Dan you might be jumping the height/racial gap there with that one. I’m 6′7 and white and I get that question from older white men and women literally every day for at least the last 5 years – I do agree with you that it is the most annoying thing in the world though, Im not good with the polite responses, I’ve gone from just an uncomfortable laugh to a scowl and walk away now, ha

it has nothing to do with racism or bias. it has to do with reality. the reality is, not enough black men take advantage of the free education system in this country. most aspire to be street rich, just what the rapper heroes preach. most blackS aren’t raised by suitable parents. REALITY.

I’ll admit it…

I’m puzzled when I drive through a very low-income neighborhood (with a mainly black population, which is a fact) in Baltimore on my way to work every morning and I see brand new BMW’s and Cadillac’s parked on the side of the street. I would never even think thoughts like this if I weren’t driving through one of the poorest neighborhood’s in the city…

You know what, I;m tired of being lumped into the “white people are all racists” group. It’s no fun either. I don’t give a crap who you are, what you do, how much money you make, what color your skin is, what your IQ is, etc. A god person is a good person. A bad person is trash. Rgardless of your income, ethnicity, etc. I’m white and I’m not racist (that I know of), I just don’t like bad people, period.

this is moronic, you had a huge suv with huge rims like the ones we see on mtv cribs. it had more to do with your tricked out ride than anything else. had you had a normal ride like most people it would have never come up.

If it were a young white man, people wouldn’t bother asking how he got the car because they would assume it was given to him by his rich white parents. Everyone deals with the biases all of society has. And every race, gender, and age group has a bias they direct towards others who do not fall in their specific race, gender, and age.

The guy who made the comments named “Damian” is the best example of the problems faced in this country. How dare he speak on an issue that he couldn’t possibly have a point of reference on. Sadly, some things never change.

T.J I think that too many people cry racial baisness when its nothing so serious. I think blacks cry and complain too much. Whites and other races experience it too,but u dont hear them complain. In life as long as the color of our skin,hair,accent,religion,etc, is different we will complain,I am black and i accept it and move on.
arun,NY

I know how T J Holmes feels. I don’t think of every white person I see as racist but when they cannot believe that I, a black female can own something as simple as a jet ski? When I take that jet ski out to ride, a crowd gathers! Then to be as rude as to ask how I got that jet ski? I cannot help but to wonder…

QUOTE –

“damian July 24th, 2008 9:56 am ET

Not to beat a dead horse…but, T.J., the guy said “Man, I just gotta know. What do you guys do to have nice cars like that?”. You heard, “Man, I just gotta know. What do you black guys do to have nice cars like that?” How do you know the guy didn’t mean, “Man, I just gotta know. What do you guys that have really nice cars like that do to have nice cars like that?”

Do you think maybe you are being a little overly sensitive? That’s what it sounds like.”

EXACTLY!!!!

I see what TJ is saying but I think the same thing any time I see anyone in their mid – late 20’s with a nice decked out ride or other toys. I guess I just wonder what others my age are doing to be able to afford things at that age. My wife and I have good jobs but we also put a lot into savings rather than expensive toys.

I love how your article separates your race from any other bias. I’m 6′4″ and 245. I have a JD and I work in the business world. People ask me all the time about what football team I played on. Every meeting it seems as if someone asks me to beat someone up in a joking manner. I’m told all the time about how intimidating I am. All because of my size and their bias.

Conclusion, get off your high horse and realize everyone has traits that people distinguish and comment on. Blacks, not African-Americans (a large percentage of true African-Americans in the US are white) don’t have the monopoly on this issue. Talk to my white friend from Zimbabwe who was denied an African-American scholarship because he wasn’t black. That’s racism at its most ignorant.

It sounds like one of the stereotypes perpetuated by MTV and the rapper image. To be honest, I would have probably assumed something similar depending on what you were wearing. It’s not that I couldn’t imagine a young educated, successful black man, it’s just that we’re been thrown so many images of what a young black man in a blinged out SUV equals that we don’t always realize our own misconceptions. But it’s good to bring these things up to remind us to stop and think for a second before making a rash judgement or assumption.

To me he just was trying to ask what you do for a living because to him you were obviously doing well. Don’t assume to know the “real” reason for his questions. You don’t know him or his thoughts. You made assumptions about his intentions based on the color of his skin, sounds like you were the racist one.

PS To Dan, anybody over 6′3″ is asked if they played basketball regardless of their skin color. I think that has something to do with basketball players being tall.

You’re kidding me right? This is his righteous indignation? I live in an upscale neighborhood with both with and black families. I drive a BMW and just a few weeks ago an African American Democratic pollster was going door to door gathering donations for Obama. He told me he loved my car and house and asked me what I did for a career. Clearly he’s a racist. How could a white man gain such things without being a professional athlete. This just proves that you can find whatever you’re looking for in any situation. Get over yourself.

Perhaps it is just my upbringing or differences in Canadian culture – I wouldn’t have assumed football in the first place; in fact I wouldn’t have assumed anything at all. It is a “man” driving an SUV. i likey would have admired your truck (since I had a large white one before) but I doubt it would have gone further.

And if we had found cause to talk, Id do what i do with anyone, just ask what you do.

This is not particle physics.

TJ.. We are soooo proud of you. Each day I tune in and see you I am proud. My son is 13 years old and a straight A student, but also loves sports. It is amazing how so many people /adults with kids focus on Athletics as maybe being the only way a young black male can be successful. We make sure he knows that the education piece will be what ultimately makes him a success! You are a great example of that..Again.. You make us proud

The MORE Whites DENY and REFUSE to acknowledge
the FEELINGS and Experience of others, as if we’re MAKING
ALL OF THIS UP, the more PROLONGED this problem will be !
When you’ve NEVER been the VICTIM of this, then you couldn’t
possibly understand it and NEVER will !!! Just know that it’s
TRUE and ACCEPT that fact !! Period ! If this country NEVER
had SLAVERY as it’s Historical reference, this would never
have become a problem to begin with !!! Just because Slavery
existed was hundred of years ago, whites DISMISS this as old and
irrelevent in today’s world. OBVIOUSLY it’s STILL relevent if generations later we’re STILL feeling the side-affects of it’s Power !!! White’s PLEASE try to take this as SERIOUS as Blacks & Browns
do, because UNTIL you do, we’ll NEVER get passed this, hundreds
of years into the Future!

Let’s go back to that dead horse for a minute, Damian. The gentleman who approached TJ started of the question with ‘what do you guys do…’. Well, who exactly are ‘you guys’? It doesn’t take a genius to understand the implication. I myself am a black man, and black people aren’t necessarily overly sensitive, just tired….very, very tired.

Having been born and raised in the South, I’m accustomed to bias … against me from the rest of the country. People always jump to the conclusion that everyone from the South is ignorant and racist. I have 3 separate college degrees and have been a working professional all of my adult life. I can speak to the fact, however, that racism exists everywhere and there’s no limit on the color of the perpetrator. In Chicago, for example, there was a particular store I went in with my husband and the saleslady followed us around, watching and making snide comments about anything we looked at, finally saying she would call the manager to escort us out just because I asked how much a garlic roaster was. (it was the only thing I’d said to her the entire time except, “no thank you” when she asked if there was something in particular we wanted) I told her there was no need and that I wouldn’t bother her again. The store was going out of business and everything was marked 80% off. I’m as white as snow (I sunburn in the shade) and my husband is pretty dark (he’s Filipino). The saleslady, however, was black. What preconcieved notion did she have?

You need to relax T.J. Nothing that guy said to you at the car wash was even remotely racist. I can’t believe you wrote a column on race relations because someone asked you how you got such a nice car and if you were a professional athlete. Oh, and “Marlon”, if you think there’s a media bias AGAINST Barack Obama then you aren’t paying much attention buddy. He’s being followed around and worshiped by the MSM like he’s the second coming of Christ.

I completely understand where you are coming from. Being an ethnic born Chinese Canadian, I’m a third generation born Canadian. When people look at me, they see “Oriental” even though I speak fluent English. Fortunately, I lived in a large multicultural city, but when I started working in small towns in Northern Canada, people up there thought three things: They assumed I spoke Chinese, I know how to cook Chinese food, and I can do Kung Fu.

One time I was at a service station and this little kid stares at me because they’ve NEVER seen someone like me. After asking what I am to her mother, her mother replies “don’t be rude to that Japanese Gentleman”.

Boy was I shocked.

I can say the same thing because I speak with a very heavy southern accent, unfortunately for me they don’t assume I’m black they assume I’m stupid. Luckily, I too received a college education and post graduate degree, but the only place that recognizes my talents are the economic development organizations in other countries, over 25 of them infact and currently Iraq, but not the people of Virginia.
By the way, I’m an Audrea Mitchell RedNECK.

Having that monster SUV is a sure sign of bad taste – not of sense, skills or talent.

Having said that, I remember Oscar Peterson, a man of great sense, skill and talent relating a story how he was addressed by a passer-by while raking the autumn leaves from his cottage lawn. A person with skill and talent surely could guess the punchline.

TJ,
From your description of your SUV, it just might be the car of an athlete.
I often wonder what people (regardless of race or ethnic background) do for a living when I see an expensive car. I don’t always go up to them, but it might be interesting to find out.
By the way, TJ, during your education, you should have paid more attention in English class – the grammatically correct last sentence in your article should read “…black man was making more money than he” (as in “than he does.”)

TJ,
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m an African American woman from the Bay Area and had a similar situation happen to me when I was home from college visiting my family. School was out and my plan was stay on the East Coast for the summer. I decided to come home and surprise my mother for Mother’s Day. At the time my mother was a partner for a consulting firm that contracted for the City of San Francisco. My mother loves fresh flowers. So I decided I would go by her office and surprise her with flowers. I get on the elevator, and a woman says to me ‘It must be nice to have a job delivering flowers to people” I was not remotely dressed like a delivery person…summer dress, high heel sandals, etc. No disrepect to people who deliver flowers, but why was that her first assumption?

It is very interesting how you pointed it out as racial bias and not racist. There are a lot of people out there that lump people in groups as Claire mentioned. I guess I’m tired of hearing about it mainly from African Americans. I’m a blonde, do you want to know how much bias there is against blondes? Yet all of the blondes in America are not writing articles about the crap that they get on a daily basis. Just because I have blonde hair everyone assumes that I’m an airhead and that I can’t think for myself. I don’t take it personally – I just remember that some people are born with foot in mouth syndrome!

Trust me when I say this type of judgement does not apply only to young black men. Although it may happen more often, they are not alone. Be honest, you see a white man with long hair, tank top (although called a wife-beater on these guys) tattoos and riding a Harley. No judgments or assumptions ever enter your mind? You see a young white girl in college and doing well, no assumptions of her having rich parents or an easy life enter your mind? We all make assumptions and we all are guilty of making judgments. I do not believe this affects only one race of people but I do believe only certain races of people get to discuss it at length while others are pretty much taught to deal with it.

TJ-
Every political thread I read lately on Barack and Michelle Obama has posters who state that they should be grateful to America for their success. They imply that affirmative action permitted their success in Ivy League Schools and presumably, in the workforce and in politics. Your thread and Damian’s post imply the same thing- how did you accomplish this success except through special treatment because of your race? This attitude takes away any success you have achieved through talent or hard work and makes it become a gift from a generous America to you because of your race for which you should be grateful because this is somehow undeserved.

Great story. This country truly has a big misconception on young black men. Unlike T.J, I am 5′ 7″ and 120 lbs and have never been mistaken for a football player. However, I guess I might have been mistaken for a car thief. Upon graduating from college and landing my first professional job, I treated myself to a brand new black Mustang. I worked 2 jobs to pay my way through college, so I felt that I deserved something nice. I only had the car for about 2 days when I got pulled over by 2 cops. I was not speeding or anything like that. They made me get out the car and shined the flashlight in my face and asked if that was my car. I said yes and 1 of the officers said “OK, we’ll see.” After questioning me and running my license, they let me go. I asked why I was pulled over and they said they just wanted to make sure it was my car. This was in 1997.

It’s ridiculous that people would assume that only specific avenues of success were available to anyone, regardless of race, gender, or creed.

However, I think you’ve hurt your argument a bit by displaying a class bias of your own.

You refer to what you do as having a successful career, implying that an athlete’s career is somehow inferior. You say that you got where you are through education and hard work, implying that athletes don’t learn their trade and work every bit as hard in their own way.

I’m not a religious man, but the line “let he who is without sin cast the first stone” has always resonated with me. Until you’ve dealt with your own biases, and forgive me if I’ve misinterpreted your remarks in that regard, you may want to step down from your high horse.

As a young male that often wears a backwards hat (which my mother hates), my personal experiences suggest that your age and apparel may have been more influential than your skin color.

LOL. I am a 5-10, 185 lb young black professional male and this happened to me all the time when I went to college. People always asked if I played Division I NCAA football. Yeah, it’s pretty shallow minded for them to ask those types of questions, but there’s a lot worse they could (and have) ask.

Truth is, we gotta place more value on academic and educational achievement in black american culture, and then maybe other people will stop stereotyping us like that. It ain’t right, but we, and also BET, contribute.

This kind of incident is all too common for African American men especially. I was staying at a 5-star resort for my bachelor party this April. I was on a terrace with three of my friends where the executive club room sits. The executive club is reserved for platinum members of this hotel chain. I am 5′10″ 240 pounds with a football player frame, the other three men are 6′1″ 225, 6′4″ 235 and 6′4″ 240. We are pretty big guys. A young white girl was sitting with her family and they were staring at us. In a very nice way, she comes to us with pen and a pad and asks us if we were professional football players and what team do we pay for. I chuckled and replied that we didn’t play professional sports. What I wanted to say to her father, is that we play for PricewaterhouseCoopers, Wachovia Bank, AstraZeneca Pharmaceuticals and Merck. Those are the four companies that we work for and I met all three of these gentleman in either undergrad or my MBA program.

The fact that I was a platinum member that travels almost every week for my job, didn’t cross their mind. We just have to get over it and keep doing our thing.

Great article T.J. I have been in that type of situation many times myself. Damien, wow!! you are extremely ignorant. I’m sure you have been asked if you play a sport but when it becomes an almost weekly occurence come talk to me. Also maybe T.J. wouldn’t have taken his question to be racial if the ignorant man hadn’t proceeded to ask the 5′1ll 165 pound T.J. if he played football for the 49ers. People like you make me extremely pessimistic about things ever truly changing

same old thing with the black community, don’t see them for who they are or they aren’t judged fairly for their work. Can’t get a break, always go to the worst schools, never had a good role model. beats me how a young black is the front runner for presdient of the united states. guess some of us forgot to look real close.

Great article! However, you have to remember that some people have never had experience with professional, college-educated black males. Until I went to college, I was one of those. And even now, in my small hometown, there are very few black people “like you”. And the ones that are, who could really break through barriers, don’t mix and mingle with “old guard” whites (and, granted, vice versa). When you only have experience with unemployed, uneducated, criminal-looking black males driving souped up SUVs, you are naturally going to base your reaction to seeing one on that experience. Don’t be so hard on the guy who approached you at the carwash. I hope you took the time to explain what you did do, to show him that you were different than what he had experienced in the past.

Stereotypes are very hard to break down – we all have them. Even you had one about a man who would ask you the question he did. Maybe he was very much like you, maybe even earning more than you (though I doubt it – haha). But, the more we encounter situations that broaden our base of experiences, the more likely we are to see just a guy washing his car instead of a black guy washing a “hot” SUV with chrome wheels and tinted windows.

I understand being annoyed at being stereotyped. But I also agree a little with Damian, he was just asking a question about how a young person can afford the expensive car with flashy additions (granted “you guys” can mean anything depending on the reader). As for the football player comment, there are a great number of americans who are in excellent shape and who play professional sports. I would be rather proud if someone asked me if I played professional sports, I would take it as a compliment for my physical fitness.

I would have to disagree with your statement about being a professional athlete not being about hard work and education. I know several people who excelled in sports and education, they have said nothing about any of it being easy.

I believe the man’s question was directed at the fact that TV and Music Videos prominently display young black americans driving big flashy SUVs and he was simply curious as to how/why they do such things. Granted he could have worded his question better.

Regardless of everything, it was a good article.

Yawlay you genius, That’s what people say when a big baby is born.

I agree with TJ.

My mother is caucasian American and my father is from Indonesia and I am an American citizen. I look mixed, not white, not Indonesian and I get looks all the time. But after living in Maryland for 25 years, I don’t really give a f..k what other people think about me. I am fairly good looking, I have a good job and make pretty good money, I pay taxes, I follow rules, I treat people well, and my family loves me. I think we just need to avoid people that judge other people based on their ethnic background (or other reasons as well). Most of them are un-educated anyway. We don’t have time for them. Live is to short to deal with stupidity.

Well put!

T.J., one day I noticed you were gone from our local station here in Littlerock, and now very happy to see you on CNN.

The whole thing about the guy asking you about your car is ridiculous. Maybe he was just impressed with your car. You have a serious inferiority complex.

Damian,
If you don’t have anything constructive to say then…

TJ, that is a great story. You are in a position to help change the perception of black men especially. Far too often we are only seen in handcuffs on tv, and that isn’t anybody’s fault other than the individual. I hope that you remain a role model for young black men and I hope to do the same. Hopefully, within our lifetime’s (thirty somethings currently) the perception will change.

Jay why did you read the article and feel compelled to comment if it’s of such little importance to you

I think that we can find what we are looking for in everything in our daily lives. I am 6′ tall and 225 pounds and white and get comments that I must of played linebacker. I also have not gotten every job that I wanted, didn’t get picked first all the time, and am a little unsure if my Dad really loved me. I grew up in south Georgia, so I am sure that racism exists as I witnessed it often. I am also sure that it runs deep both ways. On more than one occasion I would go to the home of my black friends and be treated rather rudely. So what, though. From a white guy that grew up poor with a mother that literally worked herself to death at age 40 and a construction worker father, I can’t see where being white has gotten me a whole lot. However, being a hard worker, nice guy, and making the attempt to do the right thing has.

I’m a white guy married to a black woman. We have 2 wonderful kids. I’m raising them to good, productive members of society. This can be accomplished regardless of race. They are human beings first, not to be held down and classified or grouped into a specific category. When asked “what they are,” they reply that they are mixed. I don’t see the big deal with this and I think people are sometimes too sensitive about race issues these days. Any person can succeed if they make the proper choices in life. It does, of course, help if you have the funds to help them. I do feel badly for the people who are struggling to make ends meet as documented in the show.

people aren’t much of anything were just information junkies. im an italian american from ny my father was is the night club business and through out my life people have assumed that our family was in the mafia. stereotyping is all around us but i think the best method for our generation is to just forgive each other for our ignorance.

I cannot be mad at the guy. Stereotypes have power and most young blacks with degrees don’t bling. Better yet, not chrome, 22’s, trimmings, etc. They drive Malibu’s and Impala’s and actually try to stay away from reinforcing the athlete/gangsta ‘motiffs’. Im black and degreed by the way.

“Not to beat a dead horse…but, T.J., the guy said “Man, I just gotta know. What do you guys do to have nice cars like that?”. You heard, “Man, I just gotta know. What do you black guys do to have nice cars like that?” How do you know the guy didn’t mean, “Man, I just gotta know. What do you guys that have really nice cars like that do to have nice cars like that?”

Do you think maybe you are being a little overly sensitive? That’s what it sounds like.”

Damien, I have to agree with you. The worse thing about being black is the uncertainty of situations like this. I’m from the Heart of Dixie so I can deal with blatant racism as well as undertones and hidden racism. What gets me is the “not knowing”. When I go in a store is the clerk all over me because he thinks I’m a thief, does he not help me because he thinks I cannot afford the items, or is he just being himself and I’m overanalyzing the situation.

Welcome to racism. Until we all admit that we see and judge each other based on race, religion, education, and history; we as a people will never progress past this cycle of wounded egos. Accept people as people. The first step of education is ignorance. Calling someone a racist wont educate them. It will just make them more ardent in their beliefs.

Damian,

If you think this is such a worthless piece of journalism then why are you reading it. Why are you giving it your time of day.

Well, if you’re going to waste your time reading it, why don’t you do so with an open mind. You might learn something.

I was driving to the airport the other day and I noticed a young black man walking across the street with his pants below his but and holding them in the front.

When will this fad and ugly prison look no longer be embrased by our young black males?

It is hurting their image. T.J. please help with this one.

I totally agree with you TJ… this happens all over the world and I do the same thing you do… I tell myself this person is so IGNORANT! As a proud black female from West Africa living in the U.S… I have had white educated people ask such silly questions like were you born in a hospital, how did you learn how to speak english etc. The thing is people like that are very ignorant and don’t know anything about the world outside theirs hence such question… Its time that we all wake up from these stereotypes that someone being black means they are worthless… Kudos to you and Soledad

Please Dan from INDY my brother is 6′6 and white and people say to him all the time, I BET YOU PLAYED BASKETBALL IN SCHOOL. I think you are being a little too sensitive on that subject. Have you ever thought they might have been just making conversation. I wonder if it is how you are raised, if you are raised in a household that you are told to watch what people say because they are racist and might be cutting you down, you then grow up thinking no matter what they say, as a racist comment.

TJ:

Thanks for sharing that. I like the way you presented the situation. Yes, there is still a lot of racial bias out there. Somehow, someday we may grow past that. We need to speak to it – all of us no matter who we are and where we are in life. These divisions are man made and as such we have the power within each of us to tear them down.
I’ve watched you on CNN and am proud of you.

TJ,

Ask yourself what type of people drive those types of trucks/suvs? Look at the music videos they play on tv all day, or rappers that rap about those suvs. You have a right to drive/own what ever you like, but those types of vehicles will get attention, good and bad.

I am sure if you were in a Honda Accord, no one would have bothered to ask you what you do for a living. To me, people that have to have those types of suvs, are crying out for attention. Why else would you customize it with 22″ wheels?

One day you will realize that material objects were designed to enslave the people through economic means. I learned this when I was 28. I prefer being happy with what I have, and helping the youth in my community that need guidance. Most of these kids come from a single parent family.

Making more money than HE WAS. Use that education.

iam white and want to know why we even look at color. iam 27 and the northeast. i grow up in the south and have never looked at somebodys color. lets stop talking about color and maybe the hatered will stop also..

All I can say as a 35 year old black man with two college degrees, T.J. you are not alone. I am sure you could have given several examples of going into “high end” clothing stores and requesting assistance and sales assistance looking like ok, ” We don’t sell FUBU here”. Just Crazy!

I wear bowties and if I get asked one more time from a white person if I belong to the Nation of Islam I am going to find a bean pie, final call and throw it at them. LOL

The scary thing about us (black people) is that we can not be figured out. Just when “they” think they figured “us” out here we go changing up on “them”

Everyone wants to be “black”, but no one wants to be “black”

I think you took his question in the absolutely wrong way. Not necessarily any better of a way, but in a different way.

I think he asked the question and hinted at a little bit of a shot against you: he didn’t think an academically and professionally successful young man would drive a car like that. What you described is what is seen as a staple in the black community, and generally we aren’t talking about lawyers. I know black lawyers and men of other professions, and none of them drive these generally obscene cars.

So I think he thought you were a football player since they do often have those tricked-out cars. He figured, on the basis of your car, that you had to be someone who earned the money not through intelligence — surely you’d have a better, more classy car if you did — but through physicality or other means.

It’s still bias, but not because of what you thought.

I think you got it just right. Coming from South Georgia and being white, I heard so much racism that was said behind people’s backs. “Oh, he’s nice for a black guy” or other term. It was unbearable the racism I heard. Yeah, there is a huge racial bias out there. “You should be nice towards them and get along with them; just don’t make friends with them.”
T.J. I watch you often and you do a fine job. I’m very proud of you and glad you posted your experiences on here. Best of luck my friend!

T.J.
I have had the pro sports thing happen to me also. I was kind of flattered seeing how I was a utter failure at football. I see your point.

I was in Europe and the same thing happened so It is not only in America. Some Europeans think that the only way you can make it out of America is if your a rapper or a baller.

You articulate your point wonderfully. Not black, not white, just wonderful. I know your parents are proud and you have a bunch of options (eeh ehm) in Atlanta. Good job.

T.J. I’m glad you took the time to write this article. Its so crazy that in 2008 racism exist even more than in the past. Its not always a color issue either. I seem to encounter a more gender issue. In the industry I work in, I am an educated black woman in a managerial position and some people just cant handle that. I really applaud CNN taking the time to educate those who don’t know the struggle and the path that our ancestors had to endure and pave the way so that we can be where we are today. We have so much work to do and such a long road in front of us. Many of us know the history and the stats, but its up to us as a whole to make a difference. Keep up the great work TJ!!!! You are representing us well.

I think TJ is being overly sensitive. Of course there are stereotypes and they will always be there. The dude was probably looking up to you like ‘waoh! a successful black man. How do I being a black man get to where you are and own a ride like that? Dont be offended but forgive people for their ignorance.

I grew up being taught that we should see everyone as our equals!! I think that it is unfair how people get sterotyped all the time. For example I am a blonde!! I bet everyone has a few jokes rolling around in their head right now. But, as much I don’t think I am racist I sometimes think that when i see a tall, build black man that maybe he is a football player!! ( I was right once!!) but more times than not i am wrong. So on behalf of us that are just not always thinking about our actions. I am sorry for all the times I have sterotyped anyone!!
Thank you for opening my eyes a bit more!!

just wondering what folks would want to call you the n-word…..your family? your friends? seems like thats where you hear that the most. but like woopie said “i” just dont understand. i grew up in the military where respect is earned and given regardless of race. i would never ask; “What do you guys do to have nice cars like that?” more power to anybody who can make the money! I think the bias comes from the way some people (white and black) choose to represent themselves. it starts at home and in your neighborhood. i have no problem telling my neighbors to clean up their yards and cut the grass. i will even call parents when kids are hanging out on the street corner at 1 am. lets start at home and work outwards. plenty of white folks out there who can be called the n-word.

Dan from Indianapolis, did it ever occur to you that someone might have asked you if you ever played college basketball due to the fact that you’re 6′6″ and not because you’re black? I ask that question to a lot of exceptionally tall people I meet (white, black, brown, whatever), not just to be another person asking the same annoying question to them, but because I play basketball and envy the height advantage they carry.

To Dan from Indianapolis, I think that the basketball question is more height related than race related. I am a 6′2″ white woman and I get asked if I play basketball on an almost daily basis.

While I think he may have had this experience and perceived it as a racial bias in regards to the individual asking the question, the real issue here is yes, there is racism, everywhere, all the time, but for crying out loud, it needs to stop being a white vs black campaign. I’m referring to all the posters I see during this “Black In America” series who blog.

2006 U.S. Census data shows 80.1% of US population is categorized as white, while 12.8% of US population is categorized as black. There is just as much “in race” bias and bigotry as there is “out of race” bias; i.e. affluent whites in suburbs that shun rednecks and hicks, or white blue collar workers that think all white fat men in nice cars are rich pricks.

To quote Tesap, you’re right, why don’t we “take a look at the history of the country and its people,” and I would argue I can say it’s you that might not be thinking outside your own race. Lets go back seventy years and look at the Japanese internment camps, or a hundred plus years ago and look at the railroads and the abuse among Chinese immigrants. Have we forgot the plight of the Irish Immigrants? Or what about the Germans and other European immigrants who came to this country as indentured servants and treated as second class citizens.

Racism exists. It’s a shame it does. Lets combat this epidemic by not focusing on any one race as the perpetrator or the victim…they all fulfill both roles at one time or another. Race is what people make it, so don’t make it worse.

Reading over the comments I have to agree in this case with damian about the way the guy said what do you guys do…….. I am African American and trust me I know racism still exist however I believe that image plays a role. If I saw TJ at the car wash in a polo shirt and kackis shorts I would think he was most likely a successful business man. If I saw a young caucasian male at the car wash same car with shorts, tank top and baseball hat turned back I would think he was a professional athelete as well or in the street life. I am a people watcher and for the most part I can tell what people do or how they act by the way they carry themselves or dress. Now it is unfortunate that African Americans most dress a certain way not to be stero typed when our counter parts do not have to. I have alot of friends who will dress up to go to the mall to be treated fairly. Whereas a caucasian person could dress casually(not trashy) go to the mall and automatically be given fair treatment. Yes, damien that does happen and until you walked in someone else’s shoes don’t be so quick to say they are beating a dead horse.

Wow damian, what a closed mind you have. That shows exactly what we ( as a Black person in America) has to deal with. Thanks for showing what its like being Black in America. TJ great article, I can definitely relate.

I had just moved to the new town in the Northeast and was working for a major defense contractor making more than twice what I did while working as a USAF Law Enforcement Supervisor. My wife and I just bought a new home (1/2 duplex), new car and replaced all our old furniture. I called the local police about a complaint against my next door neighbor on suspicion of selling drugs. She was a white female living with a black male that was hardly ever seen. The white police officer taking my complaint looked at me, the new car and new furniture and told me it was more likely that I was the one selling the drugs.

I have worked in law enforcement for a number of years since. I made good money and my family and I made numerous sacrfice to get to a point where we were, not rich, but at least financially comfortable. It irked me that this ass reverted to the racial stereotyping and assumption that I gained these material possessions through ill gotten means just because I was Black. It wasn’t the first time and certainly wasn’t the last time it would happen. I’ve even had white men purposely cross the street in front of my own home, just to avoid coming in contact with me because of my race and physical stature.

Master of Arts, Criminal Justice
Justice of the Peace
State of New Hampshire

I think there are two sides to this.

First of all, I cannot believe how insensitive that man was who asked that question. How absolutely ignorant. Although I must say I hope that you’ve dumped your SUV for a Prius.

On the other hand, African-Americans comprise a large majority of the players in professional sports such as football and basketball. When I have played playground basketball, I, of mixed Asian heritage, myself have been repeatedly made fun of by many African-Americans for no other reason than the fact that I’m not a great player, and honestly I believe there is racial bias behind this. These African-Americans seem to place such extreme importance on athletic prowess, even though only a tiny, tiny majority are going to make an income from professional sports.

I’m not totally agreeing with what Damian is saying but I’m a young white male that has a white collar job, yet I like to drive my sports car with my hat turned backwards, my music turned up and have tatoos on my arms. I’m not saying TJ is being overly sensitive but I’ve had quite a few people think I must be a drug dealer or some type of “thug” in general. Older people (black and white) often show looks of disgust. I shrug it off. Accept me for who I am, or not at all. Furthermore, some acquaintances of mine, also black and white, often ask how I afford the things I have…………I work people, I work. Many times it’s generational differences in this country that show the ignorance of people. Of course if these differences are passed on to younger folks we never totally rid ourselves of these biases.

Interesting. I have a neighbor from China who use to compliment me on my SUV. Then one day he finally got to nerve to ask me what type of work I do. I told him that I was a software engineer. I think it is normal for people to be curious especially when they get a different picture from TV.

It is simply astounding to read a blogger state that Senator Obama has been “overly scrutinized” by the press. Senator Obama has been given a free pass by the press, and has not been scrutinized at all. Is that because he is black? I have no idea. But the man has never been seriously questioned about his qualifications, background or positions on anything. He is treated as the messiah.

Great article but I wonder if the question was maybe more about your look of youth versus your color. I am white, young and quite successful and I have received similar looks and comments with the vehicle I drive (similar to yours). Primarily people tend to question my comments and looks until they truly know who I am. Bottom line people tend to judge well before they know the person which rely specifically on stereotypes only but these stereotypes are of multiple variations.

Perceived denigration empowers them. I bet the guys question was referring to how could new anchors could afford cars like the one he was washing.

I think there is quite a bit of sensitivity to all racial bias’ right now. I am a white male (mid 30’s), and guess I count myself among the fortunate that I stopped seeing skin color quite some time ago. Many of my friends have told me of similar experiences, and have seen a few of them happen first hand (one friend from college, black, 6′8, 280) was always asked who he played for, no matter where we went. Like Dan from Indianapolis, he came up with some good one-liners to zing back (his favorite was that no, he didnt play football, he was in the ballet).

It is sad for me to see how many people still react to race in any way. I really hope that at some point in the future, everyone can stop seeing race – both the people who have the bias, and the people who might be sensitive to the bias. I understand there is a lot of history to overcome, but let us all try to leave history where it belongs, in the past.

I totally agree. Lots of white people are clueless and ignorant and they won’t keep their mouth shut. I have had so many racist incidence being a black man but I don’t care….I keep moving.

1. Asked to be followed by an associate at a Walmart in MI as soon as I entered the store. I feel violated and was really angry. Every isle I turned, I saw this lady peeping and I decided to confront the manage who apologized.

2. Assume I do drugs just because I drive a really nice car. Get a clue and get a life – black people make money too by going to college and getting real jobs

…a lot more have happened and I’ll just hold it in for now.

T.J., I agree with you. Sadly, most Americans have a generalized lower expectation of what black men can do. Most Americans can accepted that black men can be excellent athletes, but it is more difficult for Americans to accept black men who are excellent in academics and have made superior accomplishments. As a young physician and senior resident in neurosurgery, I’ve experienced many statements from shocked individuals who cannot believe that I’ve achieved so much so early. They think, “What did you have to do in order to get so far?” What they don’t realize is this, you’ve got to pass the same exams as everyone else, and then work has hard or harder than your peers. I am yearning for the day when all of us are dealt with according to our level of competence instead of it being clouded by the color of our skin.

Like “Damian” said – did you ever consider that the man was wondering how a *young man* bought such a vehicle, and that race was never a part of it? It’s a common assumption that the quickest way for a young person, sometimes barely out of high school, to make a good income is from professional sports. Would you have felt better if he’d guessed golf, tennis, or competitive chess?

There are plenty of ignorant people out there. You shouldn’t compound the problem by looking for them in every situation. You’ll find plenty of them without even trying!

T.J.- I really agree with your article, but I think that bias lines go beyond that of Black and White today. I am white, from the suburbs, and drive a nice car. I am a welder by trade, and sometimes have to work in areas that are not so friendly. A year ago I was driving to a welding shop on the south side of Chicago when I was pulled over. The officer, who was African-American, proceeded to pull me out of my car and tear it apart. He told me that the only reason that a young white fellow would be in that neighborhood is to buy drugs or hookers. He could not believe for a moment that I was working in that neighborhood. Although I was a little offended, mainly because I have never commited a crime in my life and I was just trying to make a living, it woke me up to the fact that NO ONE is immune to bias, and that it is a part of humanity that tragically will never go away. There is so much resentment over the past and present, which I will never be able to understand, that one must ask “how can we ever hope to move on when people will not just let go?”.

Brian we are going to need you to submit a urine sample immediately because you are out of your mind. Whites the monority?!! If you want to feel better look in most all positions of power to find your now “minority” brothers and sisters. I’m pretty sure they are still the majority there

Hmmm… Since when are professional football players recruited straight out of high school? Every one of them goes to a university. So, perhaps this ignorant white man thought you were an educated athelete? You are in good shape, attractive – professional athlete is not that much of a stretch, really. Afterall, California has more celebrities than other place on Earth. Perhaps he recognized your face, but didn’t know why. He’s seen you on TV – maybe it was in the highlights of the game? No – it was the newsbreaks during the game.

Also, there are plenty of young men, black, white and otherwise, that develop their identity through their vehicles. The spend more of their income on their car than on housing, food or clothing combined. Many do not make the income necessary to justify the expense of the vehicle they drive, but that is their choice.

I know plenty of reasonable, double-income couples who continue to choose outrageous car payments over funding their kid’s education or their own retirement.

I think a true racial bias would have shown if the man had asked you who’s car it was, as if you couldn’t own it at all, and it was “job” to wash it.

T.J., I enjoy watching you on the news. Let me start by giving you kudos for having the courage to share your experience. I too am a black man who is well educated. I’m an attorney. I and my wife are doing quite well for ourselves. We bought a timeshare in the Bahamas a few years ago at a very exclusive property. We finally got a chance to take advantage of it this summer and decided to take my parents with us and our 2 year old daughter as well.

Now I’m 6′2″ on a good day, when I have my wing tips on and I weigh a solid 225 lbs. I like working out, but by no means would I compare myself to a professional athlete. I guess one would expect to see celebrities and athletes at an exclusive resort, but never thought that I would get asked by several people if I played football, and if not football, you must play basketball. At first, my ego got the best of me, and I was a little flattered by all of the attention, but as the questions continued, I became quite annoyed and a little embarrassed. My family has worked hard to achieve what little we have and we should be able to enjoy the fruits of our labor like anyone else.

Why is it that we have to be running, jumping, singing or acting to achieve some level of prosperity in our lives? Why do we have to be labeled? Why America? For those of you who would like to call me sensitive. Fine. You’ll always think what you want. It’s that privileged way of thinking that distorts your perception. Regardless, I’ll continue to pray for you and others like you.

Interesting article, although there are points that i disagree with. Your unwillingness to call this racism is the point I don’t agree with.I personally define racism, as I do any other form of oppression, a system that benefits those in power which in this case is white folks. To receive the privileges that are associated with being white, or being male, or being upper-class, or being heterosexual means to be an agent of oppression.

The person in your story was clearly operating from a place of racism. I’ve been asked similar things by white folks. People in my college town used to ask me if I played on the basketball team simply because I’m black and tall (hell, i’m even overweight so that should let them know that I’m not on the basketball team).

And as for Damien who feels that black folks are being sensitive when we receive comments such as this, it’s important to listen to perspectives that are different from our own. I hear your perspective, and it makes me wonder why people would ask you similar questions, and the story i tell myself is that you must look athletic. I can see you’ve made up your own story why so many black folks tell stories that detail oppression, and I will observe, commend and fight for your ability to have your own story as well.

Oppression is such a tricky thing and I think the aspect that I want to always remember is to speak from my own perspective as well as listen to other perspectives in a way that is compassionate and respectful. We all have so much to learn from one another, and this learning can only take place when we listen and speak with compassion.

After a while I would just kindly respond by saying “No, actually I used to be a horse jockey in the Kentucky Derby”

It is at this point in time where some will start to pick up by my polite sarcasm that I probably get that question all the time.
+++++++++++++++++++

the truth of the matter is that alot of 6′6 white guys get asked if they played pro basketball too. It is an innocent question and you have to remember that calling someone a racist is just as bad as somebody calling you the n word. Actually, nowadays it is probably alot worse because whoever uses the n word is looked at as ignorant while the person called racist is persecuted. I think it is important for the black community to stop labeling everything as racism, and start understanding that they may be stereotyping whites when they are seeing an innocent situation as racism.

I think this was a good article, although I have to point out that part of what the guy was asking him as the car wash may have also had something to do with his age.
At the age of 24, I was told I was too young to own a house when people learned I had one. I was also told I couldn’t test drive a car by the manager of a dealership who said they didn’t want people just coming in and joy-riding…and then he reiterated…it’s a $29,000 car–to which I replied, “you say that as if it’s an $85,000 car.”
I look young for my age and wasn’t dressed up just to go car shopping, and the guy thought I had no business being there. Turns out that I left his dealership (never to return again), and bought 2 cars from competitors totaling over $60,000.

My point is that we can take from TJs article and my personal experience a lesson that sometimes people mis-judge you because of their narrow-minded pre-conceived notions. It happens because of race, gender, age, clothing, etc, etc. It’s a shame, but I’m sure we’ve all made our own misjudgements at one time or another. The most we can do is learn from our own ignorance and that of others and overcome it by proudly being who we are.

The essence of racism is ignorance. However ignorance is not a birthright. Ignorance is a choice. We are in the information age. You can find out anything you want to know with just a click of a mouse. Racism is scarier now because people have more knowledge than they’re forefathers yet they choose to go with ignorant ideals. And in a “Christian” nation you would think they might leave church on Sunday morning trying to follow Christ. I can’t recall a verse in the Bible where Jesus made a racial slur or discriminated against somebody because of the color of they’re skin. If this country was truly a christian nation we wouldn’t have a race problem.

why do we continue to have these ‘BLACK’s as victims stories from CNN???

There are so many more important issues …

And CNN is tackling the tough issues of why blacks don’t get married?
Why the poor former pro football player is overlooked?

Maybe you should do a blunt evaluation of yourself:

-you EDUCATION
-having CHILDREN out of wedlock
-not looking to FAMILY, friends, religious community for help 1st
-accepting WELFARE and other government subsidies
-not take responsibility for your ACTIONS and their CONSEQUENCES
-being a CRIMINAL
-acting like a VICTIM

T.J. the statement about racist and racial bais is right on. Bascially it’s “White Priviledge”. This doesn’t mean that white’s hate you however their perception is that you are not on their “level”

Well, it would appear to me that some of the commenters to this piece are taking one person’s comment and applying it to all of his/her race. That is racism too. Perhaps the person who asked TJ the question was truly a racist, we don’t know for sure. Perhaps TJ is too sensitive, but maybe not. I drive a HUMMER and wear nice clothes. I’m also 6′4″ and 270 lbs. I’ve had people ask me what team I play for. Is that being discriminatory of my size? I don’t think so. It’s just a question.

I was born long after desegregation and have many black, asian, arab and other friends. I never experienced racism from those that I knew. I do know that some older Americans still have feelings, but so what? Their feelings are inconsequential.

Live your life the best way you know how and don’t promote the racism or reverse racism.

Wow, you are funny! In your lifetime you came across a few people that didn’t understand. I would assume you came across tens of thousands of people in your lifetime. So percentage wise that comes out to less than 1% of the world you came across in your lifetime that didn’t understand. The fact you concentrate on the less than 1% tells more about your insecurities than anything else. Get over yourself. You have no more issues than every other person of any race in the world.

Great article, and I think sometimes we have to walk in someone elses shoes to understand. Our family had the honor of opening our home to foriegn exchange students from all over the world. How people see things are universal….point….a young girl from Argentina presumed because you had a car in your drive way meant that you were quite wealthy…..her family didn’t own a car….but her family was very wealthy….so in her eyes if you owned a car that meant you were rich…..go figure we had three cars in the driveway and couldn’t spend the $2000.00 a month she spent on her AMEX card….

I also think TJ you are an inspiration to all youth….

I am white and live in Texas. Recently, I was taking a Saturday evening drive down to the beach with a lady friend who happened to be black. I was pulled over by a state trooper because I was doing 63 in a 55 zone. Nothing unusual about that. I have been pulled over before. However, I have never been asked to step out of the car and been asked what was I doing driving in this area. I have never been asked if I had any guns or drugs on me or in my car. I have never been asked to wait behing my vehicle while the officer interrogated my friend separately. And I have certainly never seen an officer reach into my vehicle and grap my date’s purse for an illegal search.
I found the entire situation bizarre and revealing. But what really bothered me the most is that my friend found nothing unusual about it. To her, that was a typical traffic stop.

The sad fact, is that a simple traffic stop can be a very different experience depending upon the color of the occupants. And you have to experience it to understand it.

Sadly, racism is alive and well in this country.

I’m not sure but are you using a stereotype to describe another? So now that you went off on this guy who just complimenting you on having a nice car and assuming he is “RACIALLY BIAS” you just stereotyped guys that are 5′11 and 165 lbs. saying that they don’t have the ability to be a professional ball player. Obviously he thought you were in great shape. Or is it possible he might have been hitting on you and now your making it a insecurity issue with the thought that man might have been homosexual. Because we can stereotype San Fransisco for being one of the highest populated homosexual area’s in the country.

See my point is that a young man myself living in the New York Metropolitan area has seen many types of stereotypes anywhere from being spanish to black, White to Asian, Gay to Straight, Short to tall. These stereotypes are assumed unless specifically pointed out by the opposite party/person. As news anchor you should have an open mind at all times. Now that you went off on this tangent how are we supposed to believe that your not taking just one side of a story that you report. Great job on your degree you can mention that one more time in your report. I don’t think we read it enough.

T.J. Great article. I get that all the time. I am an IT Project Manager, degreed and there are few of us in the business. I am also 6 ft 280. I used to get offended when some asks me if I played football. I do not any more because I recognize the ignorance and insensitivity that some people have.

All I can do is live right and if others judge me wrongly, that is on them. One thing I do know and that is being Black is not easy in this country.

I have one question to any one who is not black and think this is a non-issue. “If you could be made to be Black, would you want to be Black for the rest of your life.?

Food for thought!!!

T.J. The article is great and I totally understand what you are saying.

I am a black wornen and I used to drive a late model Corvette. I happen to drive it to the grocery store one day. To make a long story short, a 30-40 year old white man was outside when I went to park. He made it his business to come in the store, fine me and ask me what I did to afford to drive a car like that. I stopped for a moment, looked at him and told him that I worked for the “Mafia.” He quickly make a bee line in the other direction from me and I just laughed at his audacity. In actuality, I am a professional (college graduate) who undoubtely makes more money that he does and can afford to drive a new Corvette if I choose to.

With that said, people like Damian are don’t have a clue as to what we go through and if they were to work in our shoes for 1 week, they would definitly come out of it with a totally different attitude thatn they one they have now. Being Black is not easy, it is never easy, but we have have learned to live with it, accept it and prosper.

Damien, Typical White Guy, et al…
For those who experience racism, no explanation is necessary…for those who do not, no explanation is possible, it seems.

Great article, TJ. Your experiences are shared by many of us. Keep up the good work.

Claire -

Thanks you for your honest and “thoughtful” response. The comment of walking a mile in someone’s shoes is very true. Most people, like Damian, will play down legitimate views for the simple reason that they can’t relate to a person’s TOTAL experiences. They would just rather have the midnset of “get over it”. Those are the people who will impede the progress toward being truly racially unbiased.

T.J. Thanks for the article and for describing the diffrerence between being a racist and being racially biased. There is truly a difference between the two.

Damian just did not get it! When that insensitive person ask T.J ” what do YOU guys do to have such nice cars”, he was indirectly asking, did you sell drugs?
We are all aware of the rouge comments that whites use to solicit questions. Whites have got to realize that blacks are working hard towards success, want the best for their families and are succeeding.
Racism is a disease that will only get better when we find the cure.
Not bad coming from a white guy….huh.

I am not Black & by no means a racist, But what is the big deal about being asked if you are a professional athlete? It is not racial! I am a young, white, 6ft 2 athletic looking male who drives a very nice truck owns a nice house and I have been asked on numerous occasions if I was a professional athlete or what I do to drive a truck like that or own that house. People assume I am an athlete or do something illegal. Is that racist? This entire column has not point to it! Good Lord why is it assumed that it is a racial question? Yes there is racism still but, simple questions like that, come on! I will get the I don’t know what is like to be in a Black person shoes thrown at me, But you know a lot of the reason racism is still alive is because of people always pulling the race card! Again I am by NO MEANS a racist. And yes there are ignorant people who still treat people differently because the color of their skin, But I assure you a innocent question like, do you play for the 49ers, is not intended to be racial. Congratulations on all of your success! You have obviously worked hard to get what you have.

What is it about Black America and rims, or better yet, gross materialism in general? I’ve never seen many professional people of other ethnicities drive the stereotypical Escalade/SUV with after market rims and such. He knew you had money, but maybe thought you acquired it by means other than a real education since you drove a car that looked like a high school kid or someone out of the ghetto would be driving.

We all look at the world thru our own rosey, more bias tinted, glasses.

We have an uneasiness of the unknown and while most people are not out right racists, biggots, etc. our lack of understanding of other peoples, cultures, ethnics, social-economic differences causes us to revert to a defensive posture and oops there comes out of our mouths something stupid and then we have to try and defend that lapse.

We will only over come this uneasiness when we become a more integrated society. Possibly a generation or more from now. And even then we humans will still slip up, but hopefully, many biases will receed from our imperfect glasses.

Ya know, I wish I could say I feel for you. The way I see it, the stereotype has been set way before you got yourself “a big, white SUV with 22″ chrome wheels, dark-tinted windows, and a few personalized touches”.

You don’t say it but was the man who asked about your SUV white? I bet he was. Could that same comment come from a black, Asian, (or other) person? Certainly. Would this article have even been written if it was? I highly doubt it.

Of course this is my opinion but being a middle class, middle age white man, I am getting to the point where I am feeling discriminated against on a daily basis. You know TJ, having someone comment on your nice car really isn’t that bad now, is it…

Of course, I wasn’t there, but on the whole, I’d say that the story seems pretty inoccuous. Maybe the racial bias is in the ear of the beholder.

Oooh, a tall glass of INTELLECTUAL water!

I think the issue about being seen as an equal is probably more of an issue than anything else. Our society today is a little bit more educated than it used to be, so the fact that many of us know what our history consists of pertaining to racism itself, we tend to lean to the heavier side of racism – meaning hate, ignorance and unacceptance of minorities – majority of the time, African Americans.

Situations like yours should be discussed more often. We should all have a better understanding of how the receiving end feels, but with that person not being so “overly dramatic” about it.

I have been asked for years how I can afford my nice car or my other nice toys. I am pretty sure it was due to some short coming (perceieved or otherwise) of mine, it had nothing to do with the fact that someone else is curious how I am successful.

I understand that this country was founded by racists and profited off of racism. But the only way forward is for all people, of EVERY race, to move on and look at each other and ourselves without seeing skin color.

Thanks T.J.
You are a young man, and for you, and many of your generation, your experience is at most, a drag. But racism from all sides has effected so many generations, and each generation’s experience varies in harshness and degree. Like genetic traits, it’s passed on. Whites are not slave holders anymore, but many are keepers of the slaveholder flame, some without knowing it. Blacks are not on plantations any more, but some still retain a ‘plantation’ mentality. When they encounter one another, there is an instant ‘genetic-social’ flash back, that only time, and lots of it (1000 years) can eradicate. Time, not preachers, or politicians, well create a different face of race of the planet.

Nice article. You wrote a piece about assumptions that was completely filled with assumptions. Way to go.

TJ, TJ, TJ, my poor, naive TJ – the assumption isn’t that you are, as your people would call it, a “baller” because of the value of the car. Rather, I would venture that the assumption was made because the car was, “….a big, white SUV. It had 22″ chrome wheels, dark-tinted windows, and a few personalized touches” and that your casual attire was more closely aligned with the NBA ghetto chic than Brooks Brothers style. Were you in a Volvo, a Brooks Brothers polo, and some madras bermuida shorts, no one would have aksed if you play for the 49ers.

We miss you in the Bay Area TJ! The one thing I love about the bay area is the diversity. It is sad that these things still happen in here, what more in other parts of the country.

I grew up in one the most racist east coast state, Connecticut. I can remember daily being called the N-word, being treated as less than a human in elementary school by students and teachers alike. That was bad enough. Then my parents thought in order for me to get a better education, that I should attend private catholic school. Unbeknownst to my parents, being the only black student made me a dialy target and I had to be the one to educate my classmates that blacks did not like to be referred to by the N-word.
In addition, I am the “light-skinned” child in my family, so I was treated like an outcast my my brother and sister and was called “butterscotch” , “oreo cookie”, and other mean names because of it.
Nonetheless, none of this stopped me from achieving my goal of a college degree and a successful career. I once heard a speaker say, “The moment you forget that you’re black, someone will be sure to remind you”. That statement is true and I never forget that I am black or where I have come from.

Marion blames the white media for reporting stories about the large number of African-American males in prison. Um, why not blame the people in prison?

T.J. i liked your story , is a good read. And by some of the comments for and against,
i think that in my humble opinion, that yall are a bit sensitive .
being a hispanic male , growing up in an all white community, in a nothern TEXAS town of 2000 great people, i never once had any prejudices toward me or my siblings or my parents in ANY way.
my given name is carlos francisco , but i never once gave it a seconds thought to being called by charlie.
im 5′7′” never accused of anythign but a human being.
GET OVER IT.

Wow, another whining black person. I’m shocked!

I’m white, grew up with a stepfather who beat the hell out of me. Got kicked out of my home because of my conversion to a faith my family disagreed with.
People are jerks to each other for different reasons. Race is only ONE reason out of millions of reasons. Yet, most people go about their lives and try to pull themselves up and out of their collective holes of despair…unless, you are black, of course. Then you have all the excuse in the world to whine and cry about the awful hand you have been dealt in life’s poker game. If you start being positive you’ll start to realize that most people at the table have bad cards, and you need to start learning to wear your poker face.
People of African decent aren’t the only people in this country with brown skin. Yet they are the whiniest. I work with more people who are Chinese and Indian, than white people. Why do you think that is? Do you think it has more to do with culture than with race. Maybe your collective problem isn’t your skin color. Maybe it’s the awful culture we call main-stream African-American Culture. A culture which condones misogynistic views towards women. A culture which is perfectly fine with 75% of their children being born out of wedlock. A culture which celebrates violence and materialism in their popular music videos. A culture, which puts a higher emphasis on the jock culture than acquiring a higher education.
Before you start pointing your collective fingers at other races you feel picked on by, maybe you should look at those cultures of those different races and adopt the things you find good about them. Example: speaking proper english doesn’t mean you are talking like a white guy. It means that you are on the road to success and powerful individualism. I hope that the success of Barack Obama will show blacks that they can achieve anything with less whining and more hard work. -Good luck.

This is a great article. I’m a 6′3″ 270 lb white guy who drives a nice car.
I did play basketball in College. I’ve had people ask me if I’m an attorney or stock broker but never a pro athlete. African americans or any other people of color are not being overly sensitive. Racism in society is decreasing but it’s not gone.

I am 6′6″, 32 years old and white and have been asked if I were a basketbll player since high school. People make assumptions on physical appearance, regardless of their color.

I do not feel insulted that they think I was not smart enough to graduate from college as a student, not a dumb jock (another bad stereotype).

Many times, I have found that people were looking to start a conversation, assuming “taking ‘ball” would break the ice. No harm-no foul.

I’m a little curious as to why CNN chooses to put a few major headline stories relating to racism and what its like to be black in America. Can we say Obama supporters and Obama agenda. How convenient for these articles to be popping up now when these issues are just as important any other time of the year. There’s a very good chance I will vote for Obama this year, but drilling it into my head whether directly or indirectly is not going to make me vote for him.

I’m from the North, and work in a city with very successful black men so I’m use to this kind of thing so don’t think I’m some southern, conservative, bush loving hick. I’m a middle of the road, lower middle class, 24 year old, white male. I’m just tired of the agenda, thats all.

TJ, you seem like a great guy and I’m proud of your success. I’m sure millions of men like yourself have similar stories to share. Of course we need to make people aware of racism and prejudice in America. But don’t think it all stems from ignorant white people whether rich, poor, living north or south.

I think the black and white people as a culture/group not as individuals, choose to keep some stereotypes and prejudices alive because its the culture is still so wrapped up in their ways and stubborn to change.

Yes America needs to change but whole groups need to change as well. Society needs to make certain things socially unacceptable first before common prejudices and stereotypes fade.

Damien, for this Black in America to be as you put it, ‘a tedious, worthless piece of boring journalism’. Why are you reading and responding to this blog? I wouldn’t be reading, responding or interested in what people thought about my opinion if this were a piece on homosexuals in America. Some hidden guilt somewhere?

Great Commentary TJ…

In response to the remarks made by Damian, there is a larger picture here. Many times it is assumed that when a black man has a nice automoblie he is either an Athlete or involved in a host of illegal activities including dealing drugs. It is not typically assumed that perhaps this black man has a college degree and has worked hard to achieve his goals and objectives. The fact is when his white counterpart is seen sporting a luxury automobile it might be assumed on occassion that he is an athlete but, more often than not it will be assumed that he is a college educated business man. Additionally, it is almost never assumed that he is involved in illegal activities. I believe that is the viewpoint that you are missing Damian.

Mr. Holmes,

You assume it was a racial prejudice but consider all the people of all ethnic groups who DO work hard at getting an education and still drive average cars. When someone like yourself drives up in an expensive car with additional expensive add-ons people wonder how you beat the system most feel stuck in. They want to assume you have a skill, like playing football exceptionally, that they don’t possess which reassures them that they made the right choices for their life and achieving your level of wealth was not an option missed in their life.

T.J.
I’m sorry the incident happened in the California Bay Area because there is such an effort here to practice racial harmony. I’m the same dimensions as you but about 40 years older. And I’m a white guy. I go to great lengths to discuss subtle racial biases some of my white friends have. The dialog is a long slow road but one of my hopes for making this a truly great society.

Surprise!
Not every person in the world is wonderful, empathetic and un-opinionated. Did you just figure that one out today? You will meet jerks of all kinds and all colors.

You’re second revelation might be that such pre-judging happens among all people of all races. Have you ever pondered what it’s like to be “living white in Watts” or “living Kosher in Cleveland” is like?

As far as groupings, all people (and animals) tend to group by commonality. It’s natural. It’s normal.

I have to say that we have come a long way in regards to racism. I do not disagree that there was extreme racism in the past. However, in the last decade or so, I believe that african americans have become just as racist. I have a lot of black friends and have been around a lot of black people. I know that they say derogatory things about white people all the time. I also know that they use words about themselves, that if a white person said, we would be considered an arrogant racist. So you have to look both ways on this one. It is not at all one sided anymore.

Keep up the good work T.J. you should be proud of this article and more so proud of that picture!

I too understand how these comments can be annoying and disrespectful. I am the wife of a black man who has an incredible career and we have two soon to be three beautiful bi-racial children together. I am caucasion and am learning that to be bi-racial in this country means you are black! You aren’t white…..you aren’t both….you are just black! Horrible! I am constantly stopped by strangers when I am with my children and asked if they are adopted! Like it might be unheard of that I married a black man…..I am also constantly told how my son is going to be a football player. My son is three and very big and tall for his age. My only response is that if he plays football it will be while working on his doctorate! It is frusterating because I can stick up for them now but I fear for them when they are older when they will be subjected to such bias and blantant racism. I need other people to help lift my chldren up in life not bring them down. I know that all people aren’t trying to be cruel when they state these comments but bottom line they are said and they are comments towards me and my kids that express serious ignorance on their part. People need to open thier eyes to others and see what all people have to offer. Putting steriotypes on people just continue to breed the cycle of hatred in this country. We need to remember…..NOT everybody fits the steriotypes that were created to divide us.

If someone asks you what you do to make the money to pay for the car, tell them you went to college and got a job at a TV station. Don’t leave them hanging and make them guess.

Besides, look at the number of TV anchors who drive SUV’s with 22’s and then look at the number of athlete’s that drive SUV’s with 22’s and tell me you are smart enough to do the math.

There is a correlation there, and your desire to blame others is obvious.

I believe this whole racism talk has to stop. I think it only emboldens people to think in collectivist terms rather than by individual merits. So someone called you a derogatory racial term? Who cares. Deal with it. There are fair greater tragedies on this planet. Why do people complain about injustice instead of doing something about it? Stand up and earn your rights. I have no sympathy for someone who uses race as justification for anything: poverty or wealth, educated or misinformed, righteous or immoral. It doesn’t matter what race you are. Right is right and wrong is wrong. Quit the whining and keep your ahead up high. You achieve because of your perseverance; not your color.

and, to give the guy at the carwash the benefit of the doubt, he probably saw this: a young black man washing an SUV outfitted in such a way that if often seen with drug-culture or gang-culture groups and the like. Most young people can’t afford an SUV; I’m “old” and can’t afford one. So, yes, it’s often amazing to me how “you guys” can afford them. Maybe you were being a bit oversensitive and attributed things to the guy that he didn’t intend.

If I were in a city of athletes and saw you, I’d probably think the same thing – that you were an athlete or model of some sort. That’s not a racially-biased view, it’s just a view based on your photo, and on how you said you were dressed that day. In my experience, the fact that you were using a public carwash would have meant something to me because only a certain type of people usually use carwashes – again, that’s IN MY EXPERIENCE. Not a bad thing or good thing, just my experience.

Great article but there is nothing new in TJ’s article or in the CNN
Series “Black in America”. I am a 42 year old African American male along with other African American men who continue to live TJ’s story on a daily basis. So the point I am making is, “What Now”? We already know the statistics and live these stories on a daily basis.

It is also funny for me to hear that people are surprised by these stories or statistics which indicate these biases. I am not sure what America they have been living in. I am also convinced that we may not be able to change what is in a person’s heart.

The problem is when we get a person that holds these feelings in their heart and they become Corporate Heads, Policemen, Judges, and Politicians who make decisions in their careers which sometimes affect African Americans even to the point of costing them their lives

I do not know what the solution to this problem is but I know we have been analyzing these issues for the past 50 years and its not solving the problem.

Damian, you’re not black so you don’t know. Of course TJ knew what the white guy was asking. I would bet my house and annual salary that the white guy thought TJ was a professional athlete. And that TJ was an educated black man never entered the guy’s mind.

I love TJ Holms and Soledad as well, but if we all really wanted to be treated as equals, there wouldn’t be journalistic pieces like this done. I’m an overweight educated white woman, I’m neat and tidy but you wouldn’t believe the bias against fat in this world.

Same thing happened to my father some 30 yrs ago. He was a big atheletic guy who almost played pro ball for the Patriots. He moved us to a nice 4500 sq foot home in the burbs of Boston from the city.

The day we moved in a neighbor came out to sy hi and first thing he asked my father was…what position do you play? My father was puzzled and asked the man what he meant. The man said, “you must play for the Pats…right?”

My father by that time owned a sucessful clothing manufacturing company that produced clothing for Saks Fifth Ave as well as other high end clothing stores.

My dad just laughed and said…Yes I DO….

Ridiculous…..

what if he guessed you were a news anchor? would he have passed your bias test? is there an instruction manual on what to say or not? I will let you educate me about what you consider sensitive and biased if you let me educate you…I’ve been called the “C” word, while wearing a suit, just for walking down the street…I’ve felt racism just for being white, but I guess I don’t feel the need to write an article about it

Dude get over yourself. Sounds like the hard work in getting yourself educated and on track with a great career has made you show pride in yourself. The man saw a fancy ride that somebody who actually works for a living, not selling drugs or throwing a ball around, would probably not buy.

I can completely see what T.J. is saying. As a young biracial student in the midwest, I know what it’s like to have people assume that because your skin is darker, you must be an uneducated athlete that will only go to college if you can play sports. Actually, I don’t play sports, and I am an honor roll student who plans to go to college for journalism. I am in forensics, student council, National Honors Society, Key Club, and many other activities that are full of mostly white students. I don’t think T.J. is being overly sensitive because as he said, he doesn’t even look like he’s a football player, so what else are people going by when they ask him if he plays ball other than the fact that he’s a black male who looks like he has money, and he can’t possibly have that much money based on a career outside of sports?

It’s a lot easier for ignorant people to categorize everything from blacks to chocolate chip ice cream because it helps them make sense of a world they truly do not understand. They tend to demonize what they fear, they fear what they don’t understand (which is practically everything).

Well written, and congrats on your success.

Congrats to anyone who is successful or is working to achieve success in your endeavors.

Stop playing the race card. Racism wasn’t invented by just one profile of people.

Oh, come on! Black people are so totally not looked upon as unequal, say what you will. Maybe if the black people would grow up and stop expecting us to be grovelling at their feet because of something that happened 200 years ago, we could get along.

Hey, I’m not saying there isn’t racial prejudice, but don’t you think maybe the blacks are being silly as well?

You drove an SUV styled after those made popular by hip hop videos, and you wonder why you got stereotyped at the car wash. Come on, brother. You asked for it that time.

If this is all we have to complain about, we’re doing great. I’m only 5′9″ and when I was in college I was asked if I played ball several times, usually by parents of white students. These days, no one ever assumes I’m a lawyer (white or black), but that’s fine with me. They never see me coming, and I use that to my advantage.

How much of this blame should be placed on the mainstream media, especially television and movies? Without visual stimulation, maybe the stereotypes would not perpetuate themselves nearly as much. Yes, there are deep-seated preconceptions in many people (of all color!), but what has American society done to help change them? Where are the role models? Where are the fathers? Where are the successful black men like TJ, who have not achieved success through athletics or music, and why are they not more visable to young black men in this country? Without confirmation of self, the majority of young black men in America are doomed to repeat the same mistakes as the many dead or incarcerated. We all need to become teachers.

To be honest white America only sees black America by what’s portrayed on MTV and (crime type) breaking news pieces. From what I, as a white male, have seen have been snippets from black rappers suggesting that if you’re a black man with an education that you’ve turned your back on your roots and lost touch with the black community. If someone like Dr. Bill Cosby or Oprah comes out telling the black community that they need to be more respectful of each other (i.e. black men be more responsible and raise their children) they are chastised by rappers among others. What’s wrong with what Cosby and Oprah are saying? Are they wrong?

To yawlay, the lady who had her baby on 7/7/08…

I truly hope you didn’t take the doctor’s comment about your large-ish, healthy baby going to be a football player as a racist or racially-driven remark. I can just about 100% guarantee you that your doctor (as well as many, many other physicians) would have said the “football player” comment regardless of race. It’s just what people say – big, male babies are going to be “football players” or “linebackers” or something of the sort. It has nothing to do with the future aspirations or intellectual ability of your child and everything to do with the fact that you had a big, healthy baby boy.

I get so tired of people saying America is unjust because of the color of your skin. Congrats to you for graduating from college. Even white people do not do that so what is the big deal? People keep bringing up all these injustices well we live today and you did not witness or feel the injustices your ancestors went through. It was not us who did it to you but yes maybe our ancestors. Who cares. It was wrong but we personally did not do it and do not do it to YOU. We cannot move on as a country with people constantly bringing this subject up. If we (white people as you say) were to have a story on CNN about “White America” then everyone would be in an uproar. I think CNN having these stories on “Black in America” is racist and rediculous!!

Just reading this as well as the comments below continues to reiterate the fact that both white and black people are having a hard time facing reality. None of us can judge or understand how TJ felt at that moment. It is not our duty to decide whether he is being “sensitive” or any other reaction you feel he expressed in his commentary. The bottom line is everyone has been in a situation or are faced with stereotypes EVERYDAY- whether you realize it or not! TJ, I applaud you for sharing your story it did bring back some similar situations that have happened to everyone. And, as a black woman I hate the fact that we are now in a day where everyone has an opinion on how one should feel, think and act. Please don’t judge people, because like TJ and so many others, when something offends you- you should have the freedom to express yourself whether or not it is someone else’s experience or not!!!!!

Great article T.J.

I watch you ALL the time. I am a Black Woman and “OLD AMERICA” needs to understand, HARD WORK as no color. If you work hard to accomplish your dream what does it matter if you are Black or White, your pay, your promotions, your title and your status should be EQUAL!!!

Thank you OBAMA for letting the WORLD know A Black Man can be SUCCESSFUL & STILL LOVE AND RESPECT A BLACK WOMAN!!!!!

p.s. i always ask somebody 6′5 or more where they played ball… you know they did…whats the matter with that?

T.J.

Hearing your story, while a bit disheartening, is more empowering than anything else. It lets me know that as a young black female who recently graduated college, my own journey towards greatness and success will not be easy, but the end results will be more triumphant when I look at past obstacles. There will always be those who do not understand the intricate history of America and oppression, which are necessary to comprehend the contemporary happenings such as housing discrimination, daunting negative statistics in the black community, and extreme bias from others. These people will always seek the easy way out and say they are “tired” of hearing about race, blaming their child’s inability to get into college on affirmative action when the problem is SO MUCH DEEPER. Not removing myself from the problem, we seek the easy way out rather than delving into history to understand the present to then alter the future in fundamental and harmonious ways. I hope that you continue to support and seek tangible methods of creating sustainable change and empowering black communities.

Im a BM/34 with a Masters Degree in MIS, Air Force Officer etc.

I was PCSing (moving for non military types) from Washington DC to Florida about 3 years ago. On my way down I-85 South, I was stopped by a white police officer in an unmarked police vehicle in Duncan, South Carolina.

Granted, I was not speeding, driving wrecklessly or anything. The first question he asked me was whose vehicle I was driving….I said it was mine…he did not ask me for my registration, drivers liscence, nor did he tell me why i he stopped me.

I drive a 2001 Black Mercedes CL 500…needless to say I explained to him that I was in the Air Force and was PCSing, showed him my military ID. Of course, his whole demeaner changed, especially after he saw the golf clubs in the back seat. He immediately let me go without incident.

Needless to say, I was stopped for being another young blackman driving an expensive vehicle thinking I was up to no good…just another day in the life of a young blackman in America…WE ARE ALL NOT DRUG DEALERS & HOODLUMS…most of us do very well for ourselves legally.

Great story TJ!!
TJ, I met you along with Stephanie Elam at a Howard University mixer in the ATL about 3 months ago…get at me sometime at clo_g06@hotmail.com

TJ…I live in the Bay Area…and your experience is right on target for this area….I have found your are judge more by what have than who you are….I am very proud of you….

Here’s the deal…I’m a white,38 year old dude in America. I grew up not seeing colors, but people. I played organized sports through high school, served 4 years in the military and everywhere I have worked, I have encountered almost every racial background.

What is the deal with black people? Why is it all about “a black person’s struggle in America?” How about it’s a struggle for every race, white included. There are governement programs specifically for blacks that I as a white man don’t have access to or even my Asian neighbors across the street.

My personal opinion? The black population has set out on a crusade to try and get every nickel and dime from the US governent stemming from slavery times. Hey, there were also white slaves, Asian slaves and slaves from anywhere the slave traders could get them from.

What is holding down the black population? Here’s the answer, my friends…the black population. The majority of parents don’t raise their children with morals or ethics because they don’t have any. They are doing nothing to improve themselves. You want respect from people, then EARN it by rising up and becoming a better person. Your parents can only guide you, they can’t make you. Stay in school, join the military, serve your country and use you GI Bill to earn a college degree. Then become someone.

As I said, I am a white man, 38, veteran. I am color-blind, but I am not blind. I am a Republican, but I will vote for Obama. Not because he is black, but because he is young, he’s made something of himself and that’s exactly what our country needs as a role model.

These preconceived attitudes come from reality. Just look at all our cities and tell me the ratio of educated black men and hood warriors. Maybe if TJ would fight to clean up his own house, these attitudes would disappear, but that’ll never happen.

Edwin,

I’m just being the devil’s advocate here…how do you know that you are seeing a pattern of behavior? You are seeing what you percieve to be a pattern of behavior because that perception is constantly reinforced. In other words…if you live in a country where you are constantly told that you are being treated unjustly (by politicians, preachers, and people trying to sell something (the media)) – you are going to start to believe it.

I’m white – how do you know that I’m not seeing the same exact pattern of behavior directed toward me – only I’m not interpreting it as a social injustice? You don’t – because you aren’t white – you will never know what it’s like to be “white in america”. I’ll never know what it is to be “black in america”.

Neither the black race nor the white race has got it “easy”. Neither is immune to ignorance. Don’t assume that you are special and that the road you travel in life is any more difficult than it is for anyone else.

This is the land of opportunity, baby! Take advantage of it.

T. J. Holmes’ experience is not atypical. But the fact that he is able to be successful is a sign of progress. As an older Black male the prejudices that I experienced were unimaginable. Racial prejudice in the US is like mom, the flag and apple pie – it will always be there. But if we can encourage our youth to value education they can overcome much of the bias endemic in this society. We can’t succumb to the bigots.

Damien- I would bet my salary that you DONT get asked all the time if you played professional ball when you come into a room. I would also bet that if you drove a nice vehicle that questions would not involve you being an athlete, rapper, or drug dealer. Those are the type of questions black men (and women) experience in this society. It is an “acceptable” practice to assume that careers, wealth and well-being is only for White America…. that they are the only ones to obtain success through a solid education. We pursue those same high aspirations… and achieve them. Please email me the next time you are stopped in your vehicle for being…. white…..

Well TJ, even with good education, most people cannot afford a good car. Its sometimes not only education that makes a person rich. I think your perception of that person asking you a question, “Man, I just gotta know. What do you guys do to have nice cars like that?” is completely wrong. Just think, can all white people who gets a college education afford a car like you? I really do not think so but its more of your stereotype thinking of racism. I read your blog and I do not think that man meant because you did not go to college or get education still you could afford that type of car. Education is not the only ticket to fortune for black, white, asian, africans,….. Believe me, there are a lot of educated white people just barely surviving. And probably there are lots of black people in sports that are educated and also a super athletes. I am educated and I know its not only education that makes a person rich.

What will we have next, Mexicans in America?

I think the whole story is made up. CNN = BET

T.J. , you hit the bulls eye on this one. The same thing happened to me. I drove my boyfriends Escalade to work one day. I work as a Network Engineer (public agency) environment. People asked me what does my boyfriend do for a living in order to afford an Escalade. What they didn’t know was that it was a 1999 Escalade and he kept it in “mint” condition. My boyfriend also graduated from college and has a great job. It’s amazing when people come to work in a new “Mercedes”, I don’t ask them how did they get it. I usually compliment them. Yes, I am saying that the sterotypes are different for “blacks” and “whites”.

T J Holmes is my favorite news anchor on CNN and it wouldn’t matter to me if he was green. I personally think its all about life experience
and enlightenment. If you live and work in an area where you don’t come in contact with other cultures and haven’t traveled, your eyes don’t seem open to experience life through others eyes. I live in a totally diverse neighborhood and wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m a white dude and can see life through the eyes of others that are different from myself and do know there is a difference in the way
people are treated. Like I always say ” if a bunch of white people are
getting together outside, its a picnic. If a bunch of black people get together outside, its a riot.” I live in South Carolina and am proud
of what we can all accomplish together, if we learn and are open to life and the experiences and contributions of all! Thanks T J, love ya man!

I have one question: Why do you care what white people think?

You should be able to say: I am who I am and it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks of me. I was just at a pee wee league coaches football meeting last night and all of my co-coaches assumed that I played football when I was younger, I was assigned to coach the lineman. I guess its race biased that they all thought I was an offensive lineman when I was younger because I am a big white guy. I am the big funny guy when I am around friends, and most don’t know that I am well informed person who likes to read. I actually had a neighbor tell me once that she couldn’t believe I read books, I laughed it off, if thats what she sees thats fine, I am happy in my own skin and maybe you should try that.

This is a great article, but I hope that you also explained to this man exactly who you were and about your career. The only way to change people’s beliefs is to verbalize a correct statement about you, to make them re-think what just came out of their mouth. I dont consider the majority of people racist….I do believe alot of them just are ignorant, until someone comes along and changes their point of view.

T.J. If you had told this idiot that you’re an anchor at a major cable network, he wouldn’t believe you any way because it’s too hard to phantom that a well educated black man like yourself have a successful career. You should continue to wash your vehicle and ignore these type of fools. You don’t have to explain yourself to know one.

Rahni, Connecticut

I’m Asian, but I was born here, so I do not have a “foreign” accent. I remember one day I was shopping for bookshelves with my husband (who is white). As clear as day, I asked this old guy at the store, “how many pounds will this shelf hold?” He asked me to repeat myself three times. In exasperation, he looked at my husband and said, “I can’t understand her.” My husband repeated the question (in just as plain of English as mine) and the man immediately responded. I guess he just had some mental block with my foreign-looking appearance. Biases exist and unfortunately, there’s just not much we can do about it.

Unfortunately this happen everyday to many people of African descent. I used to get upset but not anymore. Last year one of my friends had a destination wedding in an insland in the caribbean and we stayed in a popular resort. The resort was full with Americans and Europeans tourists. Among us ( the wedding group) were lawyers, accountants, financial analysts, med students, Registered nurses, Nurse practitioners, young entrepreneurs, teachers etc… and yes all 70 of us were African Americans and none of us were rappers or athletes. When we got to the resort all eyes were on us. We were puzzled and started to wonder these tourists never seen black people before. For the remaining of the trip all we kept hearing were “Are you guys rappers?”, “Are you guys athletes?”, “Is your boyfriend a rapper/athletes?”, “You look familiar, do you play for a professional sport team?”. Believe or not the majority of these questions were from the American tourists and not from the Europeans.

TJ, your being way to sensitive. Your the one who interpreted that comment into a “biased” one. This country is becoming way to politically correct, and your story is a perfect example of that. God forbid anyone says anything that might offend anyone else. Even if that was not there intention at all. Everyone needs to lighten up, and get some tougher skin. I’m white, and 6′ 3″. I get asked all the time if I play basketball. Big deal. I drive a nice car, and I’ve had people joke with me and say “Man, where did you steal that car?”. Big deal. The whole world is not out to get you. The sooner you realize that, the better off you will be.

Maybe it isn’t the color of your skin that prompts some questions such as the one posed at the carwash, but perhaps it is the way you dress or present yourself that causes people to stereotype you. A white skinhead in fatigues would probably not elicit a favorable first impression either.

I really enjoy watching you on cnn, and your article is very good indeed.
Im a retired white teacher from North Carolina. I have seen the changes through the years in the educational system. I was watching the Black in America and was very interested in the educational incentive programs going on, especially the ones where the students are paid and the cell phone concepts. I love these types of programs because i was a constant steady leader in the school i was teaching in, which was 75% black, 20% hispanic, and 5% white of the Accelerated Reader Program which is incentive based. I used our
Chapter I funds to buy the prizes the students would earn for reading from easy to the most difficult books. It’s an amazing program. Funny thing was the ones i had to battle the hardest with were the teachers.
It was very frustrating many many times. But, I saw students reading like they had never done before. To me, knowledge is power. I hate seeing data about the black drop out rates amonst young black men.
They were my focus for so many years. And I never saw one student that couldnt achieve what they believed they could no matter what their background. I have to give credit to their mothers though, the ones that
really blew the scores out of the sky had mothers that cooperated with
the program and supported their students.

i too have been discriminated against, wont go into to any details because i dont wont to spread the hate that dished out to me. Just
letting you know that you are a very positve part of our society for creating this article and sharing your thoughts. Thank you and keep
up the great work you are doing.

C’mon dude…..you’re being overly sensitive here. I’m quite sure a tall, white guy with a nice ride might get the same kinda question, whether or not he played basketball. If you are gonna dress the part…..have a tricked out car just like the high profile sports and rap figures drive, then you have to expect the questions. Seems like you want it both ways. And what’s with all the BLACK sensitivity these days……get on with living your life!

Bobby, so perhaps the looks of disgust have nothing to do with your color, but rather your presentation of yourself? We ALL judge people to some extent by how they choose to present themselves to the world. If you willingly choose to present yourself a certain way, then you have to be willing to accept what goes along with it. For example, if someone gets tattoos head to toe, they shouldn’t get offended when people stare at the tattoos, ask them about them, or view them in a certain light. Yes, it might be great if we all had absolutely no preconceived notions of a certain look, but society needs certain ‘norms’ to protect and monitor itself.

It happens – bias. Race-based, gender-based, culture-based, etc. I think I’d prefer to be lumped into the pro-sports category at 5′6″ and 165 lbs than I would some gang-banging, street-cruising drug dealer. That is not to excuse the man from assuming you were an athlete. It happens to me quite often as well.

At 6′6″ tall and 215 lbs I could fit in with a pro basketball squad or pro beach volleyball player. I’ve been asked if I played professionally in both sports because I can “play” both. The people that ask do not know me; they are measuring me by what they see. And it is not just white people – many people from all walks of life end up firing these innocent and bias-ladened questions without the intent at harming or insulting me as a person. (And it rarely offends me at all.)

Most people don’t stop to consider that given my stature I also happen to be a college graduate working for a Fortune 100 company in the technology industry. And I give people credit – most can judge on what they see. Factoring in assumptions about education and employment are hard to do when sizing up someone at a car wash, mall or at most locations in the first place. Those judgments happen during job interviews, business introductions or other places aligned with work, but not typically on the streets of everyday life.

Before we contrsue TJ’s article about being Black in America, let us be clear that it is really about being Judged in America (or anywhere for that matter). It happens to me too, and I am white.

Any one ever think that the football player comment might have come as a result of what the “really nice car” looked like? Do we or do we not often see countless professional athletes, both black and white, driving tricked out cars with the the rims, the tinted windows, the systems with the tv’s and other gadgets portrayed in the media (ESPN, MTV, etc.)?

I know I personally I have seen many more athletes with this type of car then news anchors. Maybe the man asking if you were a football player was subject to what he sees in the media and not trying to be racially bias.

This is the World we live in. There is more sensitivity surrounding ethnicity (There is only one race and that’s the HUMAN RACE). Instead of people becoming insulted or defensive there should be more dialog so those with the bias questions or statements can understand exactly where we “ALL” fit in this American Culture. Educating one another without bias is the key. When people see me they see another brother until I open my mouth. That’s when the jaws drop and the questions are asked……………”Who is this well spoken educated brother with an English accent”….I tell them….”just another person that made the journey like everyone else. Just because I am lived in Suitland MD (Da Hood) does not define who I am”

Hopefully the person by the name of Damian is checking back and forth on this posting.

I would like to know what you think “you guys” meant. Do you think “you guys” was a classification for men that are 5′11?

It is easy to see how you would dismiss his experience as being based on over sensitiveness. That is the problem with race relations, people fail to listen to the true, honest, genuine feelings and experiences of others. Rather it is simply dismissed as being overly sensitive and as though the person that went through the experience is just paranoid. You CAN NOT minimize people’s experiences because once that is done, communication is broken.

If 20 black people can tell you they have gone through a particular experience, why dismiss it as paranoia rather than an unfair/biased event that may be taking place. Thus, the very fact that Damian and others that dismiss black people’s experiences as paranoia or overly sensitiveness are exhibiting racial bias.

Thank you TJ for being who you are in America.

Speaking as a black woman, RACISM is surely bigger than people are still willing to admit. Coming from Corporate America I have witness alot of thing to speak about. I plan to tell all one day. It’s not easy but it will be told in the future.

While I understand that there are misconceptions about Blacks in America as TJ pointed out, I fail to see how these truly hinder Blacks from becoming successful in today’s America. And to be honest, it makes sense that many Americans have this type of misconception about wealthy Blacks. The overwhelming majority of successful Blacks portrayed to the public are athletes, rappers and drug dealers, with only the occasional politician (Obama, Powell) or educated professional thrown in. This is an obvious problem, but one that is being perpetuated by not only the media, but the Black community itself.

Rather than choosing to use their position of influence to provide a positive image for young Blacks, the majority choose to ascribe to the “Thug” mentality and wardrobe. I honestly find it hard to understand many of these “professionals” during interviews and it seems like they either dont know how, or dont care to speak proper english. Even if these people tell children to stay in school and appear in public service announcements, how are we supposed to take them seriously? These men are millionaires and becoming involved in illegal gun possession cases and shootings, perpetuating this “gangsta” stereotype rather than projecting a positive image for young Blacks to aspire to.

I know this post will probably cause some people to be very angry, and I sincerely did not intend for that to be the case. I understand that the types of people and behaviors I described are a few isolated examples and in no way indicative of the entire Black population. I went to a large public high school that was made up of over 40% Blacks and know that this is not the rule, but unfortunately it is all we see on tv, and for many people, the only image of Black people they haev to go on.

I hear ya!

I am 6′ 3″, white and built. Once I was washing my car (lexus 470) and a black guy came up to me and asked me if I was a banker or a lawyer or something to get that type of car. The nerve, I have worked all my years to develop skills and strength to play professional football. I hate when people assume I have highly valued skills in one area and not the actual area I do have my highly valued skills.

VERY WELL SAID!
“Yes, I’ve been called the N-word. To be honest, it never really upset me because as soon as that word comes out of someone’s mouth, I’m pretty sure that I’ve won the argument. That person has just confirmed how ignorant they are.”

What a great attitude! everyone should have the same attitude!

So what is so wrong about being a football player. Rich Blacks are just ashamed of the rest of their race. “Oh no I dont play football I am educated.”. This is why we cant make any progress. We dont know what racism is anymore.

Plenty of people deal with this often and it will probably happen for many many years to come, but most of the time nobody does it with malicious intent just to hurt your feelings so you just laugh/shrug it off and charge forward.

People sometimes have very limited interaction with people of other race/color or whatever else and base some of what they say on what they see on TV/Newspaper/Magazines etc.

Thanks TJ. I am a black woman and I face this kind of racial bias in corporate American all the time. While I am gifted in my profession, there is not a week that goes by when someone White doesn’t question my ability. In my world, people are “really nice on the surface”- its not blaten, but there is always a dispostion of doubt at first glance on whether I am intellectually equal. There is this discriminatory spirit and why White people dont think Black people dont sense this is beyond me. Anyway, some White people I work with simply cannot get pass my color; they resent that I am a successful, economically sound black woman; they believe that “this” (sucess and economic soundness) is their birth right, not mine. This is a slice of my experience being Black in America.

To the folks who cannot appreciate this kind of dialogue, thank God blacks in America are use to responses like this. I dont think we
(blacks) expect white people to understand anything we experience; to even attempt would be selfless and require accountability.

I see racial bias taking place by both whites and blacks. I wish that both could find a way to let the past be in the past and move forward.

I agree with Patrick, T.J. You are quite handsome, quite hot, so you have several stereotypes to overcome. But no, I didn’t figure you to have earned an academic scholarship–and I’m an African American raised in a city that is 85 percent African American, who is a college graduate with a Journalism degree. I also have two blogs and an online newspaper. I should know better.
You are so fit and clean cut and sportsman-like in your news delivery–maybe we all have to overcome stereotypes we project on others.
Great personal account, glad you decided to participate.

Damian for the most part is completely correct. I really think there is a crucial thing that is often overlooked. People are definitely judged more by their clothes than anything else.

If you wear baggy pants and 3XL White t-shirts and you’re only 160 lbs you will definitely be profiled. Especially if you’re driving an upscale vehicle. This isn’t “America”, this is Planet Earth. People look at other people and justify in their heads. If you see a lot of poor people wearing something, and then see one guy dressed the same way driving an Escalade with rims, 9/10 will assume he paid for it illegally.

Is it there fault? Is it Ignorant? Kind of. I’m not going to blame people for being jealous of drug dealers while they work 9-5 and live paycheck to paycheck. It’s a grey area.

You will be treated as to how you portray yourself, it isn’t just “I’m black!” and “I’m white!”

The “bad” black people make it really difficult for the hardworkers. That’s the truth.

Racism exists, in many forms, in the US; there is not doubt in my mind. It’s a solid fact. Yet, columns and articles of this nature often remind of that when 1 airplane has a problem in landing, take-off, etc., the new reporting only focuses on that while ignoring the hundreds if not thousands of flights that occur daily with no incident.

Maybe, occasionally, focus on the millions of everyday Americans who don’t give one whit about a person’s race, gender, hair colour, dress mode, etc.

I would agree with the comments Bobby made. While racial bias certainly exists, I personally would have thought the same that thing that was asked of you TJ, if I saw a young white man, dressed poorly, out washing such a truck, or a young lady doing the same thing. Does he sell drugs? Is she a stripper?

It might not be the correct thing to think, but I have a feeling that everyone has thoughts that are not 100% kind, pure, and honest. Some of us are honest enough with ourselves to know our shortcomings, and others are not.

damian

The series is needed because of people like you. You just don’t get it do you. Unfortunately the only way you would get it is to walk in the shoes of a Black man. TJ’s story was light compared to what some face. But your mind is small and you do not think outside your own small existence. That is not an insult. Because I am one person my existence is also small compared to the masses. But the difference is I understand others plights. It could be the American Indian or Tibetan people. You on the other hand just think of yourself. It is not about being mistaken for an athlete (that too has happened to me while vacationing in Europe on more than one occasion). It is about not being seen as equal. That is something you cannot understand because you are always seen as equal.

When people like you understand (I am not saying your racist) I am saying you look through a narrow lens.

TJ, I’m not black, but a good friend of mine is black, 6′6″ and not an athlete. I’ve been out with him before and he gets the same kind of questions. You should look at the positives. He uses it to his advantage. Do you know how many young, beautiful women want to be with an athlete? He does.

TJ, you don’t have to worry, with your smarts and good looks I am sure you’ll continue to be very successful. However, what about the dark skin black which you don’t see in the media? I know people that can’t even get a job because of their dark color skin. I am spanish and can’t get over the fact that the degree of someone’s skin is also looked upon negatively. The fact that someone thinks you have luxuries for maybe being a football player I think is not as significant as being unemployed because of your degree of skin color. ..or looks for that matter.

I am a 33 year old black female living in Houston Texas and I am happy to say that I have pretty much been successful in my career and in life without experiencing many of the things that were discussed in last nights documentary. I am married to the father of my two kids and have been for 10 years and we own 2 successful businesses. My husband is 6′1 and 240 pounds and gets asked repeatedly “who” he used to play for. When he politely says that his father would not let him play football and that he never played. People respond to him like he must be joking……I do understand what T.J. is talking about because I have witnessed it time and time again. This is not coming from someone who is overly sensitive, because as I stated. I have not experienced racism. I grew up in a middle class neighborhood in Maryland and went to mostly white schools. Most of the bias that I have experienced has been from my own race asking me why I speak the way that I do…..as someone who is educated. Get Real America!!! Wake Up! The struggle continues.

Great article TJ. I do, however, feel the need to point out to some of the other bloggers that whites are not the only group of people that profile other races. It happens across the board.

And did anyone else notice that TJ never mentioned what race the other guy was? Everyone seems to just assume that he was white. He could have just as easily been Asian or Middle Eastern. Assuming that a racist is white is racist itself!

Judging by the comments of the white and maybe a couple of “uninformed” or “disconnected” black people, I am aware that you simply do not understand was bias and racism really is. It isn’t for you to redefine because you are not comfortable with the implications it may have for you. Yes I too am 6′4″ 265. I get did you play ball from both black and white people. I too went to college on academic scholarship, yes its is offensive no matter who says it. But if white people studied Black history, some black people too, you would find that sports and other things that implied lack of intelligence was what people only thought you were good for. Sadly some of us believed that and still do! These prejudicial attitudes is what help drives bigotry and racism. Go do your home work.

how do you know he didn’t mean ‘you guys’ as in you guys driving big nice white suvs? i imagine the guy works at a car wash, he probably doesnt drive the nicest car, and he probably sees a lot of young ‘people’ driving nice cars and wanted to know what they were doing that he wasn’t…just a thought

I am a “Chinese-American” (though I prefer American) and I don’t agree with you much at all. You have taken a single encounter with a person who asked a question that you assumed was aimed at your race. Did you inquire as to the validity of this assumption? Did you ask him if he didn’t think that a black man could go to school, receive a quality education and not play sports – or did you just assume that that was what he was thinking? Could it be that he was asking how a young man has a really nice car when he has been working all his life and could not begin to afford one?

My point is that you took his comments as being racially charged; you assumed that he didn’t see you as his equal; you made assumptions that you did not verify.

Yes, I have had people question me or make comments that are racially biased – playing off common stereotypes, but I choose to view them as just that and not turn a mountain into a molehill. I am not good at Math, I was never an Honor Society member and I am horrible at chess. I am, however, quite successful in life and am very happy. From what you wrote, you are as well.

Finally, you are not his equal and he is not yours. The point of life is not to be best friends, or loved, or even respected by every single person on this planet. In the world of academia it is possible, but in real life it is but a dream.

I’m a 6′ 1″ 200lbs black man with dreadlocks. I am a university grad also. My younger brother went to Australia to do his masters degree and our family went over to visit him and attend his graduation in 2004. When he and I went to the gym during the trip, we were constantly asked if we were basketball players. I’m the worst player ever. I finally got annoyed and told them that I was actually an NHL player and told her to look me up on the L.A. Kings website since Anson Carter was a member of their team at that point.

I think T.J.’s piece touches on a very important aspect of the issue: passive prejudice. People who aren’t trying to be malicious, yet say things out of ignorance that can seriously offend someone on the wrong day. Black americans aren’t the only ones who experience it, but they are nevertheless dealt a big slice of the prejudice pie. Unfortunately, people may never completely forget all of the racial stereotypes. Sometimes people feel that they just have to have you figured out the moment they first see you. People need to be willing to suppress thier preconceived notions and get to know others for who they really are.

I hate to tell you this, but it’s not just black guys who are mistaken for football players. I’m in my 20’s, WHITE, 6′1″ and 250lbs. I get it all the time and have for years. Other big white guys do too. I’m well-educated. People don’t look at me as an educated businessman if they don’t know me. People think I’m a burly meathead that plays football. Wrong.

Don’t be so sensitive all the time. Yeah, I said it.

Racial bias,,,sterotypes,,,hmmmm, well they are there for a reason. Could it be because most black men fit the stereotype of lazy uneducated thugs. Based on my experience I would have to say YES. Do I think that is just,,,absolutely not. As a gay male I get this kind of crap all the time, but I feel very proud that my community is working hard to change stereotypes. Is the black community doing the same? I have seen no evidence that is has.

I think what we TJ experienced is misguided pre-conceptions about people. TJ, calls it a racial bias, ok, I can deal with that. But to call it racism is flat out wrong. These “racial biases” exist within all groups of people, as another blogger pointed out. White people can’t jump, white people can’t dance, black people can’t. …., Asian people are good at Math, etc, etc, etc.

Unfortunately, society likes to put people in a box, and that box, one could argue, are these biases. I mean come one, white people can’t dance. Just look at Vanilla Ice. Ok, ok, I’m joking, but you see how biases exist. So I’m glad to see TJ, not call this racism, and instead call this a bias. As these type of biases can and do exist across all cultures and backgrounds.

TJ,

I, too, am a white woman living in the south. I am the president of a youth sports program in a somewhat economically-challenged area with a diverse racial base. I do see racial bias and we work very hard to address – and nip – those problems immediately. Fortunately, it does not happen very often (at least that it is brought to my attention anyway) with the kids and we are like one big happy family. My challenge is almost always the parents. There are olders parents in the group who come to me expecting me to have a bias towards them and things tend to start out in a defensive posture. It doesn’t take long to get the point across that I see every child as a precious gift from God and that I know we are challenged with serving a parents’ most precious gift. But, it is tiring to always feel like I have to “prove” that I have no preconceived notions based on the color of a person’s skin. I always look to attitude. Being a white woman in a traditional “man’s world” is no easy task sometimes either. I can relate to preconceived notions and overcoming an inbred bias from some as well. The best thing we can do is set great examples. By the way, my husband is white, 6′6″ and is also constantly asked if he played basketball or football. (And just another side note, I admit jealousy regarding successful, positive role model athletes – especially black athletes. Oftentimes these athletes have a story to share of coming from very desperate or hard family lives and have worked hard to overcome and succeed. There is no racism or bias in that from a “white” perspective. I wish the kids on my team had that drive and desire!)

Congrats to you for your career and doing something a lot of people, regardless of skin color, do not do. Go to college, get the degree and rely on themselves. The US could use a lot more of that work ethic!

Nice article TJ, although I think in the instance you noted you could have at least educated the man regarding your job. That would have in fact been a small but important act on your part to battle the sterotypes that exist out there. Giant changes can be made with many small steps.

I’m white, but not a football player. I drive a nice SUV, black, chrome, 22’s and I’m 6′6″, 300#. I get asked all the time “Which team do you play for?” I didn’t realize that my reaction should be to become upset because these ignorant people see me and assume that I played football to earn my way and didn’t go to college on an academic scholarship like I did. All this time, I just laughed it off not knowing that I shouldn’t stand for this sort of prejudiced behavior. Thanks TJ. I’ll adjust my attitude towards these ignorant folks that just assume. I’m with you brother (in Christ).

Why do so many news anchors, black and white, male and female drive big, gas guzzling, pollution spewing SUV’s? Nearly every News Anchor I have ever heard mention their vehicle drives a big, heavy SUV. Just because they are millionaires and can afford it does not mean they should care about the world they will leave to their kids and MY kids!

Frank

if you really want change…i mean really…stop referring to a certain race as (nationality)-american…this is for all races…i am american…i dont refer to myself as irish-american…i was not born in ireland, and if i was i dont liver there anymore…fit in…just do it…in the 1940′ the japanese were rounded up and put in prison camps all over america…and the jews were slaughtered…you dont still hear them complaining…stop looking for entitlements and hand outs, life is hard for most people of all races….accept it, put your head down and work hard, this is america baby…land of the free

Here’s the bottom line. Racial bias will disappear only with time. I am 55. My neice who is in grad school at Harvard has an Asian boyfriend and they are best friends with an Srinjan, an Englishman of Indian descent and Derek who is Chineese. None of them see each other, or me either, as anything other than a friend who has a long trip home at break. I thoroughly enjoy spending time with all of them and for no other reason than they are all really good people, and a lot of fun. Someday, this will be the norm. We already have a generation of young professional adults for which this is the norm. There is hope.

I am a caucasian american that personally enjoyed this article. There are individuals out there that point out racial bias in a very negatvie manner, but TJ did it in a positive way to prove a point. I wish America had many more people like him. We often times base our feelings towrd seomeon on their outward appearance without ever hearing a word. If we would get to know them, chances are you would change your thinking.

Also, like one poster commented, I, too have been pasted over for a promotion because of my outward appearance. I am 5′10 and overweight, the individuals that obtained the positions were petite and much prettier than me.

My point – IT DOESN’T ALWAYS HAVE TO DO WITH COLOR. IT ALSO HAS TO DO WITH WHO YOU KNOW – NOT WHAT YOU KNOW.

Good article, T.J.! I’m career military and I’ve been privy to this ignorance too and really appreciate when “we” choose the moral high road to address the statements, questions, etc about our being and not falling into the stereotype people expect, i.e, getting angry, losing our cool. Much love for our professional athletes; double that for our non-athletic, successful brothers/sisters too! Love the sarcasm, Dan from Indy!

Ridiculous, though a nice article T.J., why are we constantly being told about what blacks in America don’t receive and why there always being stereotyped. Do they not stereotype other races? Ask the Koreans how there treated by the blacks. Let ’s spent more time on important issues.

The bias as you describe it, the “misconceptions and preconceived notions about black people”, this is the definition of racism. The fact that the person “doesn’t know any better” goes to the ignorance you mentioned. Just because a person isn’t a violent, going-to-lynch you, racist, doesn’t mean they aren’t one. This person that thought you were a football player might not have had a problem with you, might not have a problem with any black person, but the fact that his first thought was that you were a football player goes to the definition of racism. And the fact that you don’t point that out isn’t helping the problem.

I think that this article had potential, but may have missed the mark a little bit. When you see people with nice cars or big houses you first think of celebrities, athletes, and unfortunately drug dealers, regardless of skin color. To be honest as someone who did go to college, those of us with and educations typically fall in the middle class. So an assumption that having a nice car means something other than going to college is just a reflection of how little society values education.

T.J.,
I don’t see your view as overly sensitive. They are actually realistic. I grew up in a town where the soda fountain was off limits and the railroad divided the town of Eudora, Arkansas. Black were encouraged to attend college to be successful because the white families had money to leave to their children. They (the white children) ended up misguided about family finances and the black children went on to college and the majority of the class of 1971 lead lives that are more positive. We are able to recognize blatant racial profileing and we are able to allow things to roll off of our backs because we have seen the best of both worlds. When we had separate but equal schools, we had the more qualified teachers and everyone learned. There was not such thing as ADHD and other problems. Black parents didn’t allow it and black teachers didn’t cope with it. Now with the onset of having to mix with white children, all kinds of behavior problems are popping up so “their” kids won’t be disciplined by black educators. In the end we will come out the winner because I believe we have a special gene that allows us to cope with things that the general masses cannot survive. I watch you all of the time and I think you are a great journalist.

How is it that immigrants who speak no English will work hard, sacrifice, and focus on education to get their kids ahead in this world, but after billions of dollars of government aid, this demographic doesn’t seem to be able to pull it together?

TJ, you do not have to be black to feel racism. I am a 68yr grandmother, German, olive complexion, peachers kid. My family moved to Grand Rapids, MI when I was 5 years old. Moved into a blond, blue eyed Dutch community. Not Good! Went to a Christian school, and because of my skin color, was called the “n” word; stoned, had my lunch stolen and coats stolen. I came from a family of six children, and I was in the middle. There were many times I cried and could not understand why these kids were treating me this way. I was convinced that I was adopted..because it was not happening to my other brothers and sisters. Racism is so evil…it scars the human spirit and soul . TJ you are Gods child…Thanks for listening,Della

T.J your insight is correct that someone dropping the n-word is just ignorant and not worth dealing with. People such as yourself and fellow CNN anchors like Soledad O’Brien, Tony Harris, Betty Nygun, Robin Meade, Fredricka Whitfield and others are slowly helping to erode this way of thinking. The49′er reference is the classic stereotype of a successful black man has to be either playing sports or dealing dope. Sadly in this country today every group, too some extent, deals with stereotyping. Next time your in that situatuion give them Razorback greeting and laugh it off. It’s getting better with each generation, but change is slow and stereotypes die hard but they eventually will.

White people will never understand the plight of the black man in Amerikkka… Until you live it you will never know what it’s like to face racism and bias your whole life… White people like to believe that somehow racism and all the socioeconomical problems that effect blacks were somehow erased in the 40 years since we finally got our rights… In 40 years we were supposed to have evened the playing field?? Get real…

Wait a minute! Professional football players also worked hard in college and the vast majority are degreed individuals. Athletic scholarships are not just handed out, they are earned by bright young students who have supreme athletic skills. Sound a little prejudice to me.

I get it all the time also , and I am white . 6′4 235lbs . I think it funny
Get over yourself – I think your paranoia makes it worse . My last name is Jewish but I am not . What ever your thinking , you are usually
wrong . Most people (White,BlackTan) have good intension w/ a good heart . I believe the glass is half full . That is why I am successful .
You have a degree. Now get some self-esteem .

Cedric: “What gets me is the “not knowing”. When I go in a store is the clerk all over me because he thinks I’m a thief, does he not help me because he thinks I cannot afford the items, or is he just being himself and I’m overanalyzing the situation.”

He’s probably doing it to everyone.

However, what about the reverse that us white folks often experience: we go into a store that has a black clerk and the black clerk almost always helps a black customer before helping a white person? Doesn’t my money spend just like theirs?

See, there is racism on both sides, and the more we keep trying to say, “my side has it worse” or whatever, the longer it’s going to take to end it. In a store, a customer should be viewed as a customer, not a black or white or asian.

I have never had an older black person come up and ask me anything about myself; I guess they are all disinterested just because I do not share their skin color.

For the Chargers, Tra Battle is 5′10″ 173 lbs and Mark Jones is 5′9″ 185.

The true piece of bias is that people would think “sports” before “business” when seeing a person in sweats who appears to be in very good shape, to be 19 years old and drive a vanity SUV with tinted windows, 22″ chrome rims and “personal touches.”

You have done well to polarize the races more with such a banal story. But, alas, I seem to be minimalizing your personal freedom fight. Your struggles clearly match those of Rosa Parks, MLK and Malcolm X and lend credence to the legacy of blacks in America.

To Damian, yes, as you said ” This whole “black in america” piece is a tedious, worthless piece of boring journalism.”

I am the wife of soldier who was recruited by the US Military because he had a degree in biochemistry when he emigrated to America (they wanted his brain power to do biological research, far fetched idea, to the ignorant and self absorbed!), he served this country for 21 years with great pride. However, when he is not wearing his uniform, this proud man who happens to be black, is subjected the degrading behaviour of white women clutching their pocket books when we get into places like an elevator. He is pretty stoic about these numerous degrading behaviors, I somehow cannot come to peace with it. Maybe “the worthless piece of boring journalism” should turn its focus on people like you, who live in such a small myopic world of self promotion and self absorbption and promote the racial biases that exist. What have you done for this country to be so superior?

I can’t help but wonder what the % of black millionaires are professional athletes vs the overall number. 20%, 30%, 50%?

I was in Vegas last month with a white guy who was 6′8 and he was asked no less than a dozen times in two days if he played ball. There is unquestionably bias in the country, the problem is when you attribute everything as bias it doesn’t allow you to view things objectively.

PS to the author – It doesn’t help that you ghetto’d out your car with max chrome and 22″ wheels. It puts forth a different image on how you earned your money than “college edcuated classy brother” if you drive around like flavor flav (just something to consider).

Why does CNN make this a Black/White issue? Apparently there are no other races here in America. If this series wanted to be honest it would compare the asian experience to the black experience, hispanic, american indian (remember THOSE people?!). I haven’t watched all of them, but of those I’ve seen it is constantly reinforcing the issue of black/white, education, income, housing, employment. I see many other races not looking for excuses as to why they haven’t achieved success in America. Do you see hispanics, whether documented or not, complaining and talking about the disparities between them at whites? No, in Texas I see them working harder than anyone else, there are many successful white collar hispanic workers, but I’m talking about the ones who’re building the houses, the roads, doing work that the rest of us would quit because manual labor is hard and in Texas the heat makes it that much harder. But they keep on working and ARE making it better for themselves and for hispanics in general in the U.S. Part of the reason there is still a large divide between blacks and whites, or I’d suggest, blacks and the rest of America, is this constant mantra of victimhood. Any group who has faced discrimination (Jews, the Irish, Chinese, Hispanic) have done one of two things. Either they realize their situation, band together and pull themselves out of the hole or they sit in the hole and complain about the hole hoping that someone will pull them out. Eventually blacks are going to have to help themselves, otherwise their situtation will not simply stay the same, it’ll get worse.

Its not simply the perception of misperception of one’s character based on skin color, but how these perceptions drive the monitary and polictical policies that have a negative impact on minorities in this country. In a global economy, we no longer have the luxury to be closed minded and intolerant.

As a young black man I must be on my game 24-7. This is nothing new. We must keep it moving. Haters will be haters and they will come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Let’s get the paper and slowly change the game so that everyone can eat.

There is a similar situation I experienced while traveling in Croatia. On a tour an older woman in my group asked the croatian tour guide if they had cable TV in croatia? He politely responded and informed the woman that they do have cable TV (well duh) as well as high def, digital cable etc. etc. The woman, still not realizing her lack of tact, followed up with a question about whether or not they had plasma TV’s in croatia. The tour guide, obviously a bit annoyed, ended it by saying, “We have everything here that you have in America”.

In short, this is something that is not uncommon among the elderly population, especially caucasion americans. They generalize because more often than not they only go by what they see on TV or read in the papers. Also, they are usually surrounded by people similar to themselves. They don’t often get to know african-americans or really any other races.

There is plenty of racial bias in America, but this is a poor example at best. The guy probably thought he was a football player because the giant SUV with chrome plated wheels. Really, if you saw a white guy with that same car, sweat pants, and a backwards baseball cap, you are not going to think: “man, look at that successful college graduate wash his car, wish I had a car like that.” What does anyone with intelligence doing driving around in a stupid, gas-guzzling, show-off ride like that is beyond me.

The bias may have be well founded based on the demographic facts if black america. This man’s comments may have been misconstrued, but your own bias, TJ doesn’t even give him a chance. You have just been bias right back at him. The circular bias or reverese discrimination is evident everywhere and although decreasing overall it is unfortunately still present. He may have been paying you a complement however niave. My point is you judged him right back and two wrongs don’t make a right.
In addition, I would have to say that I don’t see a lot of educated professional black men in my line of work. Whatever the reason, I don’t see a lot of young professional black men period. It isn’t cool or doesn’t fit into the hip lifestyle? (My bias, perhaps?) Recent credible stories have Pres candidate Obama railing about the lack of young black men taking “responsibility”. I don’t know the proportion of single parented black children as opposed to any other race out there, but I would venture it is quite high. Bill Cosby, a man that is beyond reproach also has been very critical of young black men and their lack of taking responsibility.
What motivates the lack of responsibility? Overwhelmingly, I would have to say they are probably “biased” by their own enviornment (i.e. Dads) from the beginning to not be responsible, professional, educated adults. Just some thoughts. Peace.

I was diappointed in the Black In America piece from last night. I assumed they would focus more on our successes. We already know the things they discussed. Same old thing. I think other races will feel the same also. Why not highlight our accomplishments? Or discuss why there are so many more black women in college than black men? Because systematic bias of our men occurs daily.

I am not saying forget about the individuals who are still struggling, but let’s talk about the positive progress that we have made.

This could have been named “life in America”, because everything discussed happens in all families. Again, we continue to perpetuate the stereotypes of black people.

Trey

You hit the nail right on the head with that. I too am interested as to Damian’s response to that. Based on what TJ said I sure do not see what gave that guy the impression thta TJ was a football player for the 49ers.

I believe your encounter with the gentleman at the car wash is unfortunately, becoming the norm rather than the exception. I am a professional black with a master’s degree and working toward another. When I interview, often my interviewers appear to be shocked by the fact that I have accomplished so much in a short time span, while working full time. They say things like “are you a professional student”, “what is your next degree going to be”, or “you worked full time and “you graduated with honors (like they don’t believe it)” and honestly I don’t think they would ask a white counterpart these questions. In America success is most often predicated upon education and hard work, and although I exemplify these values I am still questioned. While I do not believe that everyone is racist, I do believe that everyone, including blacks display some bias toward others. Until we can move past stereotypes, prejudices, and our own insecurities as people, we will be unable to to move on and embrace one another without regard to race. Although in 2008, many liberal, socially progressive whites would like everyone to believe that racism and discrimination does not exist, but it is simply not true. Racism is alive and well in the US today as it was 40 years ago, the difference between now and then is that now it is subtle, no more white’s only” signs, but it still is quite pervasive in our society.

I don’t think you look like a football player, but you are a hottie!

If you do flashy things, you will be noticed. Weather white, black, or yellow; if you bring attention to yourself then you will be asked questions that do not make sense to you.

Muggsy Bogues stood 5’3’’.

It is not because of your skin color, you need to be irate at what the pro athletes are paid. That is where the misconception is. The hard working person that did go to college and are successful in the business world will never come close to making what a pro athlete makes, in their entire life.

Excellent article T.J.,

As a mother of two African American boys I tell them that they must not only do the right things at all times but that they are number one suspects. For an example my sons 13 and 8 went to the local grocery store to pick up items… the police stopped them from coming home, took their names etc… and made them stand in place until a store owner (99 cents store owner) came to see if they were the children that disrupted her store – of course not… by this time I am concern and walked around the corner to see what was going on … I saw my son’s with the police as if they where standing in a line up – I inquire and consoled my youngest. The police proceeded to tell me they can leave with no apology or nothing… of course I called his superiors who came out and personally apologize to my sons … That is their story of being Black in America. Now my sons are 18 and 13 and unfortunately they have additional similar stories to tell. I don’t live in the inner city or anything in that matter. I thought I am raising them in a good environment however; it really doesn’t matter where they live as they will always be considered the number one suspect because they are African American young man. That is the cross most African American Men have to bear. It is just common knowledge…

First of all I am a 34 year old black man and I love my black people but untill we as a people stop feeding into these steriotypes we will always be descrimated against. I am tired of listening to the radio and hearing people giving the brothers and sister on lockdown shoutouts. Like that is something to be proud of. I realize that there are a lot of us in thier that are ennocent but there is a hell f a lot more of us thier that deserve to be there. It is time for us as a people to start taking responsibility for our children and nieborhoods. We are onlys a reflection of our actions. I also know someone is oing to blame steriotypes on the media portrayal of us but if actors and enetertainers as a whole would stop takeing these seriotypacal roles just maybe the media would not have a story and maybe black people will start be portrayed in a more positive light.

I’m white and I work with primarily Hispanic coworkers who grew up and still live in primarily (often over 90%) Hispanic communities. They make assumptions about me all the time just because I’m white. They often assume I’ve never had to work hard for anything, they assume my parents are rich, etc. Often I hear negative comments about things I’ve done because “the only reason he can do those things well is because he was born with that silver spoon” None of which are true.

The point is all races of people generalize about others. It’s not right, but it happens everywhere. But why do only white people get beat on for this all the time? Everytime I hear about racism it’s always white people mistreating everyone else. Look at Obama’s church, the message there is flat out racist against white people, yet white people are still voting for him in droves.

All I’m saying is I wish the media was a little more balanced that rasicm isn’t just those ignorant white people mistreating everyone else. Yes, it definitely happens a lot, but most of us in the younger generations are past that.

It’s got to be tough for a young black American to read all these kinds of articles about how America is slanted against him/her. All that does is creates a large percentage of minorities that believe white people are deep down biased against them. Because of this, when a 6′6” Black man is asked “did you play basketball” he assumes its not because he is tall, but because he is tall and Black. Or when someone says “what do you do to afford that expensive car” he thinks “what, just because I’m Black I can’t own an expensive car?” Maybe the guy just wanted to know what people who are living well do for a living and the author looked like an accessable person to ask.

However, yes, there are a lot of dumb white people who say stupid things. Although a lot of them are just trying to make conversation and are too dumb to understand they are being offensive. In my experience, most of the real racists are too scared to actually say their views around the people they hate.

It will be a good day when we can all admit that there are differences among people in this country that hinder them and just go ahead and address it.

T.J. To be honest, the first person to pull the race card is racist in my opinion. In fact as a foreigner in this country for 8 years, I have seen more reverse racism than racism. Black people seem like they want to be victims of racism so they can point fingers again. White people seem to be trying to be extra nice to black people (like being extra friendly with black kids in elevators when their black parents are with them, it is hilarious!). White people will back Obama with great fervour to make a statement how they are not racits….etc…

What is wrong in asking a 7 foot tall person if he plays basketball? Am I denying him a job, housing etc. No. Who doesn’t stereotype? Every day of your life you do it consciously or subconsciously. Heck, I am a foreigner who doesn’t even have American citizenship or green card and I have been asked if I will serve for US Army just because I look pretty buffed and Caucasian. But I am not! I am from South Asia. I have been handed Bibles while I am an agnostic person. I do not rant about it, just suck it up. The more you say it the more a cry baby you appear who wants to pull the race card to blame all your travails on. Which country that has majority of blacks is properous? When you ask that question to yourself, you will realize that there are a lots of strides black people have to take instead of taking a whiny approach. Good luck T.J.

I’m a 6′6″ 205lb former All-American track and field athlete. Now 30 years old, I’m in as good or better shape than I was in my most strenuous years as a college athlete. I can’t count the number of times that I’ve been mistaken as a professional athlete in bars, on vacation with my wife and kids or out shopping in other surrounding cities.

Should I be upset? Of course not, I am tall and have some of the physical attributes of a professional athlete. Should I be upset that these people would assume that I’m not a well educated, hard working person guy who has worked for everything that I have? I think that’s a stretch…maybe I should be upset about people’s bias toward tall physically fit 30 year olds?

T J Please let me appogize for the ignorance that still haunts this country.Give yourself all the credit for being a strong enough man ,
not a black man ,a man to ignore the foolish ignorant comments that come you way.A high five to you sir for becoming the man you are.Congrats and keep it up.Some of equal.Hopefully some day soon this country will get over the crap of black and white and see that we have hearts and all bleed red.Skin colour is just that.”Colour”

The correct way to write the last sentence is to say, “. . . . this young, black man was making more money than HE.” (”him” is incorrect)

It’s an easy mistake to make (even for a college graduate).

And then there is this chap “damian” who thought TJ was a little too sensitive for “misinterpreting” the guy at the car wash!. Well, TJ may be sensitive, but damian, your comment is meant to either create mishief or you are a bit intellectually challenged. It does not take a PhD in logic to decipher the source of the guy’s curiousity. I have not heard, ever, a white guy with a fancy car getting a second look, even if he appears uncouth and behaves suspiciously.

When someone is trying to sensiize the society about prejudices, you don’t have to be defensive…by doing that, you are only raising suspicion about your own attitude to racism.

No offense, but If the SUV was as described, he probably looked at the truck and figured you were involved in entertainment (he wasn’t very far off). By the way, there are literally millions of people who make money with their brains and don’t buy ridiculous looking cars only to screw around at a car wash in the middle of the day.

Also, why is it so bad to be a football player? Football players don’t have to be stupid. Football players can have four year degrees. Football players can use their degrees to start successful careers (many much more successful than your, I might add). Maybe the fact that you assume being asked if you’re a football player is an insult to your intelligence says as much about you as the fact that this guy assumed you might play football driving around in such a ridiculous looking car.

While I believe there most certainly is bias in America, I’m also convinced we’ve become overly sensitive to bias in America. TJ, your story is great in that it shows both sides of the argument. The man who approached you may very well have been judging you based on your race. However, he may very well have instead been judging you based on your clothes, or your apparent youth. To quickly pin him as a racist would be just as prejudiced on your part as it would be on his if he were, in fact, judging you by the color of your skin.

Instead of making quick judgments, we should all stop a minute and think before we judge someone by their race or judge someone to be a racist. Both prejudices are equally damaging to the cause of equality.

Well my take on it is, is it really any business of that guy asking tj what he did? No, non of his business. I would never think of asking someone what they did, black, white, yellow, or green, to afford such a nice car. I would ask about the car and talk to him about the car. period. I would feel like i was being rude to ask them what someone did. Just my two sense.

I am a 6′ 7′ African American Male and I too get questions asked to me about sports all the time. I am a Customer Service Representative and a Computer Technician. I’m not surprised anymore when asked about sports, I often chuckle to myself and think about how people still today have such stereotypes against African American Men. In response to Damian’s story I find it ironic how some responses are critical and others are totally self centered. Please just respond to his story and not go off on the deep end.

To Mark,

Your comment about why is there a story on African Americans in itself speaks to a problem. Why not a story on African Americans? I think you need to examine yourself. Why is it that you have a problem that there is a story highlighting African Americans? Why is it that your first question is why is there not a story on other people? Maybe there will be. But creating a problem, when there is not one is the problem. Additionally, BET is more about music and videos. It is just recently that they have started to delve into the lives of African Americans on reality shows. However, I thnk that anyone could say that African Americans help build this nation as slaves, fought in the American Revolutionary War, and for that matter all wars, while they were still not considered citizens until recently post the civil rights era. I’m am aghast at why you would ask why there is a a story on them. This is the reason that you need to examine yourself.

At least he didn’t think you worked at the car wash! This happened to a black law professor of mine while washing his Porsche.

It’s amazing that sterotypes happen no matter what industry your profession is located. I recently applied for a car loan and indicated the amount of money I made each year, and the car representative asked me “Can you prove it?” At first I was shocked, and then I just laughed. I stood up and and starting walking toward the door when the salesman tried to stop me asking “Where are you going?”. I simply smiled and said “I can’t buy anything from this place. I need to find someone who is a professional”. People are amazed when they find brothers (pardon the pun) who make 6 figures. They don’t realize I started work when I was 16 years old working a full time (in a cotton mill) and a part time job averaging 60 hours per week to attend and pay for college. My mother, father and grandfather told me for a child “Hard work does pay off”.

I thank them every day for this lesson

I read this article, and I had to comment on it. Just had to. Because it had me chuckling. But read on before making judgments.

I laughed because I could see the idiocity in what T.J. wrote. Looking wholly white and being mostly caucasian (native american is a third of my heritage), I never get such reactions. But I have many friends who have. And every time it happens, absolutely and without exception, we laugh about it. Sometimes right then and there, which puzzles most people.

You see, I drive an expensive white SUV, and so do many of my friends. And yet, I have never been asked anything about how I am able to afford such a car, even though I’m frequently seen in my jeans. (Yes, they’re old, but they’re comfortable – sue me.) Only I and one other can say that.

In my tight circle of friends – 9 of us – we have 6 white SUV’s, 2 red, 1 tan. This group contains 1 caucasian, 1 caucasian/native american (me), 3 hispanics, 1 asian american, and 3 african americans. The only ones who haven’t been questioned repeatedly are myself and the “other” caucasian. The rest? I’ve heard them all asked about how they can afford it, why they “need” such a vehicle, etc.

The country is not racist. People are. Some are just playing out repeats of what they’ve had ingrained. Education helps them out.

The rest? It’s like TJ said about the racial slur – once they start in, it’s obvious that they’ve already lost, and the simply cannot admit that they’re wrong. And I pity them for it.

Ignorance does’nt automatically equal racism. Sometimes its just ignorance. What I would like to have known is whether or not T.J. gently and respectfully educated this young man who obviously had no idea of how offensive his question could be percieved as. All sorts of assumptions are presented about what he (a nice enough guy who wasn’t really nasty) must be thinking. Was a small peice of ignorance overcome with understanding and teaching or was the lable “racist” affixed with an affirming smirk? The article does’nt tell us and therefore the most important part of the story is missing!

TJ, you made very good points and I like the article. As a black woman I have been fortunate for the most part, working very hard and educating myself so that I could have a better life. What you describe in my opinion is very typical of the way many people think which is quite unfortunate. In my family we were taught to look at the interior of a person because looking at the outside or their possessions can be misleading.

About 2 years ago I tried to beat a yellow light not seeing that there was a police officer coming out of a parking lot. I was driving a new high end Lexus without license plates and when he asked for my license he saw my designer handbag. After he ran me to insure I was clean and the car was mine he opted to not give me a ticket but stated “nice car and bag, slow down.” While I thank God he did not give me a ticket (even though I would have deserved it) I wondered if I wasn’t black if he would have noted my “nice” things.

Thanks TJ for your insight. This Black in America series has been an eye opener. I think it would be equally insightful if we could possibly do other series on being Asian, Hispanic or even White in America showing what challenges they face. Then maybe we could see if we encounter any of the same problems.

In the face of racism and all of the other social ills that face America, i still believe that we have more in common than we care to admit

I love the way you ended that. I know it’s an overstated parallel, but women face the same kind of assumptions. If I were driving a fancy car, many might assume that I’m a gold digger or at least had my hands around my husband’s purse strings.
The truth is that I make more than my husband and even he has a hard time reconciling with that. African Americans have to deal with stereotypes that relate to crime and athletics. Women deal with stereotypes that we rely on men rather than have personal success.
The strange thing is though, when you see a successful Black woman, don’t you automatically assume that she worked her butt off to get where she is? It’s almost as if you can visualize her hurdles and know what she went through to succeed. It’s a bizarre mental switch

Frank, and Damian (the OMEN?):
Thanks for showing your perfect examples of total ignorance….

If I were 5′11 and weighed 165 pounds and someone asked me if I played pro football because I have a souped up ride, I’d feel pretty darn cool regardless of my skin color! Although it could be taken as rude to the beholder, he may have made that comment because he sees the media covering athletes and thats how he identifies them. The media and paparazzi dont create circuses around news anchors driving into work or around town so perhaps he could not identify with them driving souped up cars. The media (news, sports, entertainment) has become so competetive that it goes beyond informing and it creates images to people who do not necessarily live in Hoolywood or in a pro sports market where the celebs and athletes are followed around. What would have happened if he asked if he was a rapper? Thats what he probably sees on tv!

get over the race card…you dont get it…the sooner you stop the sooner it all stops

Overall I think things keep getting better everyday for blacks in America. It’s slow but improving.

What if Barack Obama is the second coming of Christ? Hmmm, makes you stop and think doesn’t it?

For all of you slow guys who say I’m white and I’ve been asked if I play pro football too, you have totally missed the point of the article. Ask someone else to read it to you and then explain it. Unbelievable.

So a guy asking someone how he can afford a nice car is racial bias? Even more perplexing, why not cut the guy some slack since you were dressed very average joe looking? I mean, I think most people would wonder how some completely average looking guy would have a really nice SUV. And to the 6′6″ dude that thinks it’s racist when people assume he’s a basketball player. I’ll admit it’s dumb for people to assume that, but seriously you get to be 6′5″ and up or so and it’s a serious question for people. People used to assume I was on the football team, because I am about 6′3″ and weighed in at the time at around 325. I’m also a vegetarian, but since I looked like a starting offensive lineman, I couldn’t really complain about people thinking I was eating steak everyday with the football players.
I’ll agree that it could be racial bias to think a 6′6″ person played basketball or that asking a young black man how he can afford a nice car could be influenced by racial bias. But it could also be someone curious that someone 6′6″ does or does not use that trait to play basketball. Or a person might legitimately be wondering what you do for a living if you drive a nice vehicle. The real irony to me is that TJ is a reporter, and I’m sure in his past he’s encountered far worse stories than this. How many black anchors are lauded for their articulateness, when that word is almost never applied to whites. Or how about well known discrepancies in pay for blacks and whites and hispanics on TV. I’m positive TJ could have come up with a better example than something which isn’t even necessarily racially biased. And as for TJs assumption that a 5′11″ 165 lbs. man isn’t the right dimensions for football . . . Darren Sproles (who could probably start on most teams) is only 5′6″ and 185 lbs, so it’s not unreasonable that someone of TJ’s size could be mistaken for a football player.

In response to Dan from Indianapolis, people ask you if you are a basketball player because you are 6′6 and that is TALL, not because you are black. I am only 6′2 and white, and have been asked that before, by black people also. Should I assume they are racist somehow? Your comments are ridiculous, and it’s people like you who turn EVERYTHING into race, that creates racial problems in the 1st place. Good job buddy. You are the racist.

This is something that occurs in everyday life, but just ask yourself how you would feel it it were a judge, police officer or prosecutor that decided to use those extra legal factors and stereotypical assumption, i.e., race, gender, socio-economic, etc, to make decisions about whether or not you get arrested, charged, prosecuted or how long your sentence would be. That’s the reality of today’s world. I know because I’ve been falsely arrested 3 times in 4 years. The only difference between me and my fellow African American brothers is that I have a lenghty law enforcement training, education and background and constitutional law experience that significantly aided my ability to put on a defense against the false charges. One of those false arrests originated from the Chief of Criminal Investigators from the office of the NH U.S. Attorney. It happens everyday to unsuspecting citizens.

Master of Arts, Criminal Justice.
Justice of the Peace
State of New Hampshire

I’m a tall white guy and I get asked from time to time if I play basketball.

Also, isn’t the implicit assumption that all (or almost all) white people are biased in ways they don’t realize an unfair stereotype too? I’m offended by it at least.

A lot of this is just dumb. A really tall white guy gets asked about being a basketball player as well. A young athletic looking guy that has a large suv and has it tinted and pimped out is congruent with what a lot of young athletes have.

Who cares that he’s 5′11 165?? So are most cornerbacks in the nfl. Not everything is racism folks. The other day I was at a store and someone thought I worked there. Call the ACLU!!! I’m not saying that there isn’t racism, there is. I’m simply saying that not everything is racism. This article is not very moving or even interesting.

I’m a 6′ 3″ white guy and people ask me if I play basketball. Are they racist?

I would assume that someone with some common sense (black, white , or purple) wouldn’t buy a big white personalized SUV with 22″ rims. Not only does it not make financial sense, but it’s clearly a ridiculous vehicle to own in an urban area. Do you need tinted windows and extra road clearance to drive in a straight line on pavement?
Clearly a vehicle like this is driven to make a statement. Driven wearing clothes with holes in them, wearing bandanna’s, you are imitating drug-dealers and sports stars.

Why then if you so clearly imitate these people, and if you so obviously have no common sense, are you offended when someone admires you for it, and compares you to them?

This is not racism. It’s the sort of sad self-pity of someone that can hide under the guise of being “put-upon”. Oh, and I may be white, but where I grew up whites were the minority. Still I take responsibility for driving sensible cars, wearing clothes with no holes, and being courteous to strangers with questions rather than looking down on them for perceived slights.

My husband, son, and I got lost. We stopped a guy on the side of the road and asked for directions to where we were going. He gave us directions and we left. A policeman had evidently been watching and immediately stopped us for questioning. Took my husband out of the car for questioning and then came to ask me the same questions in order to verify our answers. It was a scary situation.
Oh, by the way…we are all white.

To Damien: If the man had said “Man, I just gotta know. What type of job do you have that you can have a nice car like that”, it would have been different. Instead he said “YOU GUYS”. To me, it sounded like he said” Man, I just gotta know. What do YOU BLACK GUYS do to have nice cars like that”. I’m sure TJ has heard it enough times that he could recognize the meaning behind it. I have grandchildren who are mixed black and white. Already in grade school they have heard the “N” word from children who have undoubtedly heard it from their parents. So sad that they have to hear such things and so sad that our nation cannot get rid of such a hateful word and such blatant racism.

I totally agree here that not all whites are racists because believe me I am a muslim and i know alot of muslims who are racists against other religions whether they are black or white. I think it all depend on your background and level of education in family because trust me a white guy living in country side some where in south just wont be able to take a non-white young or old guy in proper dress, big cars, (sports cars) or even living in high standard community because maybe this white fella still living old style and does not know that anybody can go to any school. May be he still thinks that whites are smarter than others can only live that way where blacks in this case can only be rich if they play sports(not alot comparing to whole black population) or if they sell drugs which is kind of high in black community. Hoever if that same white fella was living in a big city and was well educated then i think all he was going say was, “hey man nice car”. Now with that said i dont mean to say whites are racists but i just think there are still some who are still living in the past due to lack of communication and education.
Thank you

“I drove a big, white SUV. It had 22″ chrome wheels, dark-tinted windows, and a few personalized touches. It was hot! ”

You think this is a one-dimensional race thing? You’re apparently a successful professional expressing a preference for a style of vehicle that imitates youthful, black hip-hop or athlete culture. That shows an intersection of wealth and style that is atypical.

When I see a white person driving around in an F-250 with enormous off-road tires and a deer antler decal, I think: “rural, conservative, hunter — maybe they got all that money by selling guns or working in an oilfield” I don’t expect them to be a highly educated journalist, lawyer, doctor, etc.

Before you blame race for everything, consider the way you present yourself. I get different reactions from people based on the the way I’m dressed, or the car I’m driving constantly. Telling this story as proof of racial bias is an exceedingly weak argument.

I’ve lived this story. Especially over the last 4 years (hopefully I’m not being too sensitive for a couple of the bloggers) When I went to a top college prep school in high school the first thing that I was told was I hope you have some more friends that run a 4.5 40 yard dash. Funny I actually ran a 4.3. Yet, I never had any intention to play football. I just wanted to show them that yes I can run faster and jump higher but academics were my top priority. The next question I was asked is why aren’t you playing this season, aren’t you on a sports scholarship. I wasn’t, I was actually paying the $20,000 a year as were my other brothers, one who is at Harvard. I loved the kids at that school but I realized it was something new for them. Furthermore, once I got into the University of Miami, TJ and I’s stories really overlap. With tuition 40,000 a year they’re not to many people who want to pay (thank God for loans). Every day people black, white, hispanic ask me what position I play, I laugh and say none I’m pre-law. I believe its basic statistics not so much racial bias they are more black athletes than black students at Miami, it doesn’t bother me that’s just the way it is.

The best revenge is living well. Sounds like you already knew that. Wisdom is the rarest of human attributes.

That’s the story of my life TJ. I’m a 21 year old Black male, with a Bachelor’s degree and I’ll start working on my Master’s degree next month. Currently I’m working at a PR firm, so during the week I dress professionally, slacks, nice shirt, etc. I also encounter quite a few white people, but they ask me if I work in a mall, I’m only 5′8 and about 160, so I doubt that by any stretch of the imagination someone would mistake me for a professional athlete. Although I’m young I’ve learned a lot. One of the things I’ve come to accept is that racism is, and will be, a part of my life. So, I don’t let it bother me, because nowadays you have a lot of “closet racists”, they’re racist only where they think it’s safe to be, they would never say anything to your face. All I can do is get more educated and continue to take what America believes are “jobs for white people”

I think the carwash guy might have been reacting to the style of your car as well. Maybe California is different, but Large SUV’s with tinted windows are not considered hot cars here in the midwest. Its a blatant status symbol of conspicuous wealth. The guy was probably just as much asking why you are showing off your wealth in such gratuitous fashion. Athlete’s , rap stars, and gangsters are well known media stereotypes of people who flaunt their wealth Combine that perception with your skin color and you get the reaction you did. Was it a kind of rasisim: yes. But the media ( including many Time Warner properties) get a big assist on that one.

This is a good story, because it does bring up some interesting points. One I would like to make is that the man was wrong in thinking what he did, but not unjustified.

Ex.: I’m an Aerospace Engineering major, and in all my engineering classes, I see very few women and black people. So when I do meet one of these people, I usually assume they are not an engineer. It’s just ingrained in me from year and years (since honors math in middle school) of seeing very few blacks and women in my classes.

So this man walks up seeing a young black male, whom is in decent shape, and has a very nice car. What’s the first thing that’ll come to mind: a young professional who hit it big young; or the thing we all see everyday on television, and the media, an athlete (or rapper) with loads of cash. Of course you will go with the thing you have pre-programmed in your head.

If black people would like to stop seeing things like this, maybe they should try to change the stereotypes from within their own community first. T.J. is one of the people doing it. But far too many others are not. Far too many blacks seem content to perpetuate the stereotypes they disagree with so much.

So lay some blame on others for what that man did, but also lay some on the other black males perpetuating exactly what he said.

Thank you for your story TJ, my husband experiences this nonsense all the time, but instead of being a pro athlete, they assume that he is a drug dealer. It is hard for white america to understand that a black man actually went to college, earned a finance degree and is now earning a decent living…white america needs to open their eyes and catch up with what is going on today.

I am neither black nor white. However, I come from a part of the world where there is a different class system and a different set of biases and prejudices. Racism, class bias or whatever you call it, is an everyday reality. People are influenced by their past experiences and they interpret the present through those lenses. A practical man/woman tries to desensitize him/herself to such bias and tries to move ahead with life, though it may be tough at times. Being a foreigner in this country, I have felt both very welcome and discriminated during the past decade that I spend in USA. Different people behave and treat people who are unlike them differently. This may be because of their past experiences, biases, values or simply character. You can’t control it. So focus on your behavior and attitudes and move on. Don’t let anybody else’s ignorance slow you down or prevent you from realizing your potential.

TJ,

Great story and I most definite can relate to it. However, due to my physique and looks (5′ 11″ and 240 lb), people automatically assume that I play ball in Kansas City while driving around in my white Navigator rather than been a successful Director of Industrial Engineering.
Keep it up my brother! I am very proud of you! I love to see you achieving and representing the University of Arkansas as one of its illustrious graduates.
I will talk to you soon.

Everyone who’s defending the football player comment by saying, well I’m tall and get asked about basketball all the time – the difference is that you were asked if you ever played, not if you play professionally as justification for why you make the amount of money you do. And the question for TJ was also based on his clothing.

I’m Latina, and I experience the same type of thing. My (Latino) boyfriend and I went to look at some engagement rings, dressed casually, he was wearing a baseball cap and an earring. Of course, the saleslady shows us the cheapest rings in the store, explaining how we can pay it off over a few years, etc. Little did she know that we hold degrees from a top university and probably make more money that she does! Racial stereotyping DOES exist!

I used to be a teacher at an alternative school in New Jersey. I worked with some of the most difficult children in the United States. 99% of these children were the products of poverty from Camden and Trenton. I would say 60% black, 20% white, 20% Latino. I would also state that 100% of these children had terrible parents or parents that were absent from their lives. How can a child make it in this world with no parents? I think our country and our citizens need to only produce children when a stable environment is present. Its only fair to the child. This goes for any race in our country because my school had most all races represented. Also, I feel education in our country needs to be valued by our citizens. The only way to be successful is to become educated and anyone can do it. I enjoyed T.J.’s article and I am proud of his success. I also like the comment about the father of the baby that was 8.9 pounds. Why not a teacher, professor, or scientist? That is how all parents should think.

White Teacher from New Jersey

Actually most times they don’ t see you, period.

The only time I felt a sense of community among Americans of all ethnic groups was shortly after 9/11. Unfortunately , when this great country was attacked and in peril of further devastation from terrorist , most Americans felt the need to unite. It did not take a lot of persuasion for people (of all races) to realize and discuss freely, how frighten and helpless we were. . Hence, when people are vulnerable and their means of survival are threaten, a strong desire to seek comfort in others is often palpable. On any given day in America the majority of Whites are secure in their pre 9/11 comfort zone. ie. Living in middle and upper middle class communities through out the USA without concern for the plight of those less fortunate. Trust me this too will change. As an elderly American, I find it very frustrating to think of the amount of productive human resources wasted on the inability of one human being to respect and embrace the other. Lets direct our time, money and energy to solve problems that are going to eventually destroy us all. We all know what the issues are..

I think you have to understand that anyone owning an SUV with 22″ wheels wrapped in low profile performance tires just doesn’t give off the impression of someone who is smart. You expect that from people who made their money for their looks or athletic talent and not their brains. I am not in no way condoning what that guy said to you but in is simple mind he did bring up a point. If you want to be viewed as the smart educated professional that you are then even your car should reflect that. A big SUV with big rims just shows that you have a lot of money and aren’t smart with it; for your next car keep it stock and either save the money you were going to use on rims on a better car or save it.

A truck’s inherent purpose is to be rugged big rims defeat the purpose of that, also they add more centrifugal mass and make it harder for the car to stop, meaning that you have made you car less safe and get worse gas mileage because they are heavier. They are also overly expensive and a poor use of money.

Thanks for the article T.J. It is food for thought. Stereotypes are bad,
even when they assume something good. I really appreciate the insight that your piece has provided. Nothing like hearing prejudice described from the horses mouth.

We miss you in San Jose! I bet I know just where the car washing
incident occurred.

Jodene Perrin
Bitter, Older White Woman for O’Bama

Maybe just maybe Uyou are too concious about your own skin because some people look it as a compliment ,asif other ethinicity or colour also white like they dont face prejudice comments every day.only if they nit picked like yo are doing.ur putting yourself out there begging for attention bro, so a person cant try make a noble gesture to start a conversation anymore.You graduate with a digree and an ancor billet u shouldnt be even having this conversation.America is just not about black n white,its changing to every ethnisity u can think of so stop bickering, and help the minoreties so they dont fall into the same situation,but where is the Glory,Fame,Media,Coolness in that right.EXACTLY

How do you know what he meant by “you guys”? You guys could be all Escalade owners. I am 6′5″ and 275. I am a former college football player and successful investment banker. People ask me if I played football for the 49ers, etc all the time. Just because I am a BIG guy doesn’t mean I am a big dumb jock. I am a member of Mensa, etc. I don’t take offense at it. Just deal with it. You are projecting your own insecurities on yourself.

Im from Canada im 6ft3 white and i get asked the basketball question alot, most of my friends are black and racism has never been an issue with our area. Unfortunately all these silly stories about blacks feeling there not equal is starting to get tire some. Jamming these unworthy news stories in the media will not fix the problem infact it will probably just cause people to get sick and tired of the whole thing. Anyhow i thought latino’s had it harder, im not sure obviously as i am in Canada. Maybe the reason we dont hear about latino problems is because they cant get a job in the media based on there race and have no platform to speak from. No more crying, if some white people want to think that way or do think that way why would anyone even care to change them. Stop all these black oppression stories .

It is too bad that successful blacks are seen in the same class as drug dealers or gang bangers ,by the vehicles they drive and excesses that they spend cash on. No one ever told them success is measured in more than just flashy cars and gold charm bracelets.

TJ and all colored people. Please dont take this story to your heart. I’m an Indian and an Electrical Engineer and drive a nice car, i have had this questions numerous times that do I own a motel or a SevenEleven or a Subway. People assume this with there experiences meeting other people. The percentage of Indian owners of Seven Eleven, Motels and Subways are higher then other races, similarly, if you go to a Nail shop, majority of them are run by Vietnamese, so when you come accross a vietnamy in a car wash the first thougt is that he must own a nail shop.

I feel you TJ. I have one of these encounters on almost a weekly basis it seems. I’m a 6′0 tall, 250lb black male. I have business degree and currently wrapping up a Juris Doctor at a top ranked law school.
A few weeks ago I was asked if I played for my school’s foot ball team? A harmless enough, and ususally reasonable question. However, I just happened to be standing in the Atrium of the law school with a Federal Tax Law textbook under my arm at the time…and it was another law student who asked me. I kindly responded, “No I’m a third year”. I believe that lack of exposure to anything except commerical influences like sports, rap music and TV creates preconceived notions, which can only be trumped by first hand experience. In other words, so long as white americans choose only interact with black people at work…by watching sports…or through some other intermediate outlet…we’re all going to be perceived as football players and/or rappers…or worse.

White people are confused and upset by mainstream black popular culture. You have to understand there are many, many white people who don’t have any real contact with black people in this country. Their only point of reference is what they see on TV. Not only from the crime angle, but also on MTV. (it’s doubtful they’ll be watching BET)

When you have black rappers who model themselves after drug dealers and thugs to maintain their ’street cred’, who take expensive luxury cars and turn them into gaudy status symbols, it puts into the mind of white people that all black folks who drive cars like that are somehow involved with drugs. It’s not true, no, but like anything else you have limited exposure to you make assumptions based on an incomplete understanding.

White people also get tired of hearing racism as an excuse for the problems of black Americans, especially if they don’t feel they are racist themselves. When you hear statistics about the shocking percentage of black children being born into single parent households, you wonder when personal accountability begins to be a greater determining factor than racism and social injustice.

I agree with his statement “racial bias’ versus racism… RACIST to me is based on POWER, power to take something of value, or control from a race; freedom, language, religion, livelihood, money, sustainance of your family (reproduce). His statement about “what do you guys do” was an assumption and an assumption is prejudging donoting a prejuidice. His statement at the end of the day takes nothing away from what BJ Holmes as a man. Institutional Racist would if that same man was hiring for an anchor position and his assumptions came into play there. The power to allow or not allow BJ to make a living and sustain himself is RACISM.

TJ, I must say that all you need for a follow up article is to wear a gold grill that goes into your mouth the next time you wash your car. You might be assumed to be a drug dealer. I hope you understand that the difference between your position and that of a NFL player are very similar, you both are in the field of entertainment. You are not curing disease, starting up investment opportunities, or making a difference in the world. You are an entertainer. Continue to drive a car like one, and expect that no one will assume otherwise. If I was an expendable entertainer like yourself, I would be flattered to be grouped with the elite entertainers of your area.
It is not a white or black thing, it is a class thing. You probably wouldn’t wear your pants down to your knees, so why drive a car heavily advertised and accessoried with that mentality.

The fact that many of you are trying to defend what that person said or are trying to flip it around to not mean anything is evidence that we have a long way to go. It’s evidence that you are trying to justify why people say that or hide the fact that subtle racism and blatant racism still exists. Here is the thing, all we do as black people is report on what’s happening, we aren’t the ones being racist. If there was no racism then there would be nothing to report. It’s not like we are like, hmmmm what can we say is racist today as if we like people being racist towards us. People who are defending this by trying to give their version of “my brother who is white” are being naive to the situation. This is not a problem black people have created. These scenarios are real. Being 6′6” and asked if you play ball is not the same as being 5′11” and being asked if you play professional football. The question should be why is that the first thing that pops into your mind. Not education but sports. Get real people, quit trying to hide America’s dark (no pun intended) secret.

I’m a 6 foot 170lb white guy who drices an 05 Honda Civic Special Edition. Nothing too flashy, just a mini spolier and stock rims. On old hispanic lady asked me how I got such a nice car. She obviously didn’t think I had a nice job because of good education. Was she being racist or prejudiced?

I don’t see what’s wrong with the question.

I am a 6′1 220 lbs hispanic guy with a Computer engineer degree who wears lots of baseball close and when I get that question it makes me feel good.

Could it be that SOME blacks in this country are still holding up to the past and feeling inferior to others?

Your last comment throws me off – are you better than him because you make more money? You should feel security in yourself not the money you make. Because if you are only judging a man by the money he makes maybe you are just as small a man as he.

It is not a bias / racests to be asked if you play football or any other sport.

I am white, 6foot 3 and 300lbs and I get asked ALL the time if I play football…

I see plenty of NON Black people out there driving nice cars and often wonder that they are doing to have such a nice car, because I would like to do it too! They are white, black, asian, hispanic, etc…

I to have a college degree and am very successful. So congrats on your success as a human. I wish people would stop playing the race card and saying that History this or history that.. guess what IT IS HISTORY. If you live your life in the past how can you expect to move on and make things better. We can’t change the past, it is what it is!

It’s funny reading white people telling a black guy he’s wrong in his critique of….living as a black guy.

LOL

YOU, the people in this very blog, are the reason “Black In America” needs to exist.

Additionally I must say that jumping on Damien is exactly where the division exists. Is anyone “really” reading into what he is really saying? Not defending anyone but for other ethnic people to add to this dialog should be welcomed with open arms. This is where the “defensive” attitudes coming in. We “All” have been predisposed to believe certain things about one another through cultural and social outlets. Our own “People of Color” show bias behavior to those who are darker in skin color or show bias to Africans that come from the continent, so there exists a double standard that dances all over hypocrisy.

Damian’s point is accurate. I am a 6 ‘ 4” white male, and have been asked if I play basketball more times than I can count. My first car was a shiny brand new bmw, that I payed for with my own hard earned money as a teenager. My parents didn’t contribute a dime, yet every bad look I got, every time my car was spit on, it wasn’t because I had flipped them off or said any cross words, it was because I was a little rich boy.

I will be the first to admit, that wasn’t fun, but at the same time, I kind of understood it. The majority of teenagers my age, who had cars like these, WERE rich spoiled brats who’s parents bought them anything, including $25,000 cars.

We are forgetting some very interesting information:
The overall high school graduation rate across our country is around 70%. 55% of African Americans graduate high school. How can that fact be bias, racist, or contain judgment? I watched the African Americans in my high school strive for athletic superiority before academic success, so it is no surprise to me when I hear that there graduation rates are low. So yes, when someone sees a successful black man, driving a pimped out car (something you don’t see often), they ask themselves what pro athlete it actually was, because STATISTICALLY it is unlikely that he has a high school degree, much less a college degree.

What irritated me about this piece, is that the writer is representing his African American population as a whole.

“You guys” is just like you people. We all know what that means whether white, black , asian or whatever. Great article T.J. From all of the comments it generated, I would say mission accomplished. However, people will be people and what they think and what they say is usually different.

I am Mexican and I make sure that I represent my race well. I know that I must help change the stereotypes that have plagued my race. That being said, my race has earned the bad stereotypes just as the black race has. I find it humorous that while you feel that the stereotype is wrong, you are proving it correct by driving an SUV with 22″ rims. I drive a Prius. How many black people drive a prius? I bet there are very few.
1) Why are Asians though to be smart and well educated? Because a great majority are
2) Why are Black people thought to be flashy and prone to crime? Because many of them are.
3) Why are Mexicans thought to be lazy? Because many of them are
Stereotypes are generally true, instead of complaining about it do something about it.

I can relate to the racial bias. I was at Charllotte NC. hotel once with my wife who was in town for a conference. I decided to sit on a bench outside and read the paper, which was located where cabs pick up. I know at least 3 white gentlman came up and asked me to take them to the airport. I had to explain that I’m a guest at this hotel and not a cab driver. I finally decided to go back in the lobby and finish my paper.

You are not alone. I am a 6′6″ consultant who spends a lot of time on the road. Almost every time I have used my frequent flyer perks to upgrade to first-class, someone is sure to ask the athlete question. Interestingly enough, I have gotten such questions from black folks too. It used to bother me, but now it is all a joke.

I actually play along with questions like “do you play basketball?” I always say “yes”. The natural follow-up is always “what team do you play for?” And my response is ” oh, I just play a lot of pick-up basketball for recreation”. Look on the questioners face; priceless!!

Great article !!

“Man, I just gotta know. What do you guys do to have nice cars like that?”
Tj, your not being over sensitive, and to those who keep saying that it could have meant something else, your really trying to make the issue disappear. “You guys,” oh come on. When you see someone with a nice/expensive car then normal people think that they have a good paying job. The guy to me seems as if he was implying that Tj did something other than work a decent job.

I have had a few situations similiar to this one. For example, in high school (I’m only 20), I was one of the few black people who went there. My parents lived in an upscale neighborhood, we took long vacations, and had vacation homes. So rewarding me for good grades my parents bought me a brand new car when I turned 16 and another new car for getting a scholarship before I graduated. I had white classmates asking all sorts of crazy things. “Your dad sells drugs?,” “Your parents actually could buy that on their own?,” and one kid actually had the nerve to say “One of your parents must be white because you never see a black person live the way you live.”

Some people are ignorant, and you let them live that way. No matter what crazy things come out of a white or black person’s mouth (yes, black people do have a habit of discouraging other blacks), I know that I have great opportunities that lie ahead. For someone to wonder how you got to a particular place in your life shows that they haven’t reached their potential.

I am a 24 year old white male living in S FL for the last 12 years and every time I see a ‘hot’ car with huge rims and a black person is driving it, I think of a drug dealer. White guy driving it? I think white trash drug dealer. Never once did I think: dentist, OBGYN, male nurse, artist, broker. Does this make me racist? Let’s give an honest answer of racism. I have been pulled over 6 times in my life. I have gotten 3 tickets. Each time with my black g/f of several years in the passenger seat. Somebody thinking you might be something other then a journalist? GASP.

T.J. __To be honest, i wasn’t sold on the BLACK IN AMERICA SHOW after watching the first day. Still 1 day more to go. But your story is one that has high truths to it. I loved your comment about your clothing style.. ..”I might have on a bandanna or be wearing a baseball cap backwards.” That’s so true, and I agree with that, I’m black fairly well spoken, articulate(people say i sound white). I love to wear Timberland Boots, NY METS cap backwards, Air Jordans, (I do own multiple doo-rags, that during highschool my parents would scoff at me when i wore it out.) . I also work in a top International Organization, and have my BS and MA. planning on law school next. Frankly i do it for the ladies, (lol) and I Imagine, the only reason why you were “MANUALLY WASHING YOUR CAR” was for attention. LOL, I’m not hating though, just throwing respect your way. Also, It’s fun to see you on TV, because you are down to earth, and your rappor with the other reporters is very, they genuinely like working with you.

I am saddened by the fact that a young black man is thought to not be able to earn a nice car without playing sports or doing something illegal. Please keep in mind one thing though, blacks are just as racist as whites. The road does run both ways. We need to keep that in mind that it is not only the white mans fault when it comes to racism.

I love the piece but…T.J., you do look like a football player and I am BLACK! But i do get your drift. No one is going to look at a black man and say “Are you a neuro-surgeon?” People really make the following generalizations as far as black people:

1) Either we dont work or we work at Mcdonalds or we play sports.

2) If your a black female with kids you must be on food stamps. WELL I AM A BLACK FEMALE WITH KIDS AND I NEVER GOT FOOD STAMPS

3) We all drop out around 9th grade.. (black folks in college, are you kididng me?) OR he went to college because he got a “free ride” because he’s black while all the hard working caucasian folks had to pay– I GET THAT A LOT AND I HAD TO PAY FOR MY WHOLE COLLEGE EDUCATION FROM MY WAGES AS WELL AS A FEW LOANS.

All that being said, T. J. you still look like a ball player.

Thanks for the article TJ, for many young black males that are choosen the route of education for succesful careers your situation is one many of us have experienced. I think it is important for ALL people to keep our countries current issues in perspective because our attention is being diverted from the larger issues. It seems there is a big push to have all of these stereotype discussions and the plight of being black, latino, whatever it is you may be when the fact of the matter is none of this is new. The common denominator that would eliminate some of the long lasting divisions between groups of people is the present state of our country. Everyone is getting hammered with ridiclous prices of gas and costs of living with government explanations that 3yr old can smell the BS on. Shady practices of mortgage companies that has led to hard working people fighting tooth and nail to keep a roof over their head because they got more house than they could really afford thanks to creative financing. A war our tax dollars have paid for justified through lies and somehow no hard confirmed plans on when husbands and wives can get out of harms way and come home to their families! The list can go on and on people but let’s not be blind to feeding into the media frenzy of dividing people by race and who’s being oversensitive to insensitive. People need to start working on the bigger issues together and hell maybe the biases people hold dissapear by establishing commonality with people!! just my opinion but it makes sense to me

and black people make the same exact misconceptions about white people… i have a professional job so i wear professional attire…and every minority that sees me assumes that my parents were wealthy or i come from a silver spoon sheltered background… same difference… get over it

Geepers, you get asked a question about a car that you customized to attract attention and THAT is racism? Wow. Just…wow.
I get asked if I am a professional wrestler when, in fact, I am just an overweight computer administrator that happens to lift weights. That must be profiling as well! All big white guys are wrestlers, right?

It’s tragic that Americans have become “hyphonated” Americans. I only see Obama as an American so when I hear the rant about him being a black-American, to me its an indication that those who identify themselves or others as hyphonated Americans are in fact racist themselves.
If I see someone who is tall and athletic I can’t help but wonder if that individual has played in a professional sport and would ask out of curiosity. That doesn’t make me a racist and I won’t apologize just because you think such a question is racially motivated.

There is no question that racism exists in the US but in my lifetime I’ve seen tremendous change and believe there are more and more people who are satisfied with just being an “American”. It’s past time for those who see themselves as hyphonated Americans to let it go and get on with larger issues.

Very tired of Blacks acting as if only whites are racist. Explain 95-98 percent voting block, explain NAACP, explain a candidate who calls his grandmother ‘Typical white person’ , explain BET, please explain why no matter who I ever meet who is black THEY always bring up race at come point as a difference, an excuse, and no other race I meet does this ALL the time. It seems to be the ONLY thing on many
( not all) black people’s minds.
Race is the main thing on blacks minds a much larger percentage of the time than other races. Don’t try to blame whites for slavery as Arabs were even more involved, and thousands of Blacks owned slaves in the US and elsewhere back in history. So quit placing the blame ONLy on whites.

Your story rings true with pretty much every educated black male. It reminds me of the time when I was home for spring break during my junior year at Stanford University. Back then I was 5′ 9″ and about 165. I was wearing a Stanford t-shirt while shopping at Target. Some lady saw me and asked me “Do you go to Stanford?” “Yes,” I replied. “What sport do you play?” “None,” I replied. That was the end of the conversation. I have had similar “conversations” with other people. Once, a person flat out asked me how much was my athletic scholarship. It was frustrating at times. I never played a sport (unless you count intramurals) at Stanford. Instead, I graduated with a 3.93 GPA. But I guess to most, I had to be an athlete, not a good student.

Frank, are absolutely correct when you say, “What is holding down the black population? Here’s the answer, my friends…the black population. ”

Black people really do not care about what wite people think on this subject, however, its the notion that all we can be is an entertainer of some sort when we finally achieve a high financial status.

We couldn’t posibly be doctors, lawyers, computer techs, or captains of business.

That’s when it gets under the skin a little bit, which is what TJ was trying to illustrate.

TJ was also trying to make the point that not all of us take the welfare hand out and actually do pull ourselves up by the boot straps and become something other than what is expected.

I do not agree with the question being asked and yes it is inappropriate – but sometimes when see something looks like a duck and quacks like a duck then you assume it is a duck. Otherwords, if the young man would have had been washing an SUV which looked much like everyone else drives, and not the one which wakes everyone up in the middle of the night thumping music, the question would probably not have been asked.

Too often black Americans do not help themselves by portraying themselves as the same people we see on MTV, Movies and Television shows. If white America is not to assume these things maybe better role models should be selected by your own people. For example instead of selecting Shaq or Kobe as a role model how about Obama, Colin Powell, or even Codi Rice. Hey I like Tom Brady and Bret Favre but I rather my kids look up to someone like Ronald Reagan or Sandra Day O’Connor.

Finally, it seems the black community will pick apart a successful black person as an “Uncle Tom” before they begin to dismiss people like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, who do more to hold back the black community then help it… time to face reality.

Good article – sad but true. However, you left out a couple of points. Non-blacks might also assume that you got your money from dealing drugs or through illegal gang activities.

Amazing read! I am a white male who totally comprehends the thought of racial bias. I have done sports all my life and even on the collegiate level the biases are still there. I was raised by two very open minded people and I am thankful that I too do not see race, but I see a person’s character. I am amazed how even today there is a barrier between races in the south (where I went to college), which to me is disgusting. People are people no one is better and no one is worse; everyone has thoughts and feelings just like the next guy and to take that away from someone is completely inexcusable! Mr. Holmes I hope you keep driving your car with pride and answering the questions, because it only takes one person to make a bigger difference. Very nice job!

Wonderful piece TJ. It’s people like you that I have my son look at as an example of what can happen when you work hard and apply yourself. I also have him ignore ignorant people like DAMIAN who in no way can ever know the struggles of a Black Man. As a proud Black woman I applaud you and keep it up

Damian ignorance and jealousy will always keep you bitter!

In our society, racial bias and bigotry is a fact of life that should not be tolerated. However, on that note, as a white person, I have also faced racial bias and prejudice from other races. We can’t get over one form of racism, only to perpetuate it toward another race ourselves.

I’m White, 6′6″, and 245 lbs, I lift weights regulalry. I drive an H2, and I’m a Dallas Cowboys fan.

Almost every time I wear a Cowboys shirt of jacket out in public, at least one person will ask me how long I’ve been playing, what position I play, is this the year that we’re going to the Super Bowl, etc.

At first, it was funny. But when people began interrupting our dinner when we went out to eat, my wife asking that I not wear any more Cowboys apparel when we go out.

They’re not asking me these questions or making these assumptions because I’m White; they’re asking me because I resemble what they see on the field every Sunday. Who can blame them? I do look like a football player.

Perhaps the most ironic twist to my experience is that many times, the people approaching me are young Black males.

So by Mr. Holmes’ logic, these young Black men are just as ignorant and (gasp!) racist as the man he references in his piece. They see a tall, well-built white guy wearing a Cowboys shirt and automatically he plays football for the Dallas Cowboys, so we’re going to go talk to him.

And don’t bring up the whole “Black people can’t be racist” argument; if you have a heartbeat, you can be a racist. As a matter of fact, some of the most racist people I met were Black.

Many whites that don’t come into contact with African-Americans on a regular basis rely on the media to describe the basic African-American person. Unfortunately, the media portrays most black people (especially men) as athletes, rappers, criminals, or just plain stupid. Although the media is primarily to blame, the African-American community can also share some of the blame. If African-Americans were really upset over the issue of how they’re portrayed in the media, they would bring it up a lot more often. Many of the stereotypes seen are enforced by the African-American community as “Being Black” and that whites just “don’t understand the struggle”. That may be the truth, but unless the African-American constituency takes a hard stand this problem will continue.

Wow, I looked at some pretty good excuses but not many in this blog can say they have personally experienced the worst. TJ, you got off lucky man and let me tell you how. In the mid 90’s I drove a 93 Mitsubishi Diamante. Nothing fancy to say the least. It had rims on it since it came with the car from the previous owner. I got the car on a great deal since the previous owner needed to get out of the car to purchase something to pull his boat. I was in the right place at the right time I guess. Nevertheless I attended Southern University and you can see where I’m going with this. One time I was traveling to Houston, TX to visit my brother, I was not speeding, had the windows down with a fellow classmate going five miles over the speed limit. All of a sudden I was pulled over. So when the white officer came up to the car, I politely asked is there something wrong officer since I was not speeding. That ignorant man answered me by stating “All we want is the drugs and we might cut you a deal, I know your kind and I sense there are drugs in this car!” I answered back stating “I do not but if you think there are have at it”. Two hours later the white cop let me go and gave me a ticket for an unsafe lane change. Talking about jacked up!!! Stereotyping at its best, and yes I am a black man.

Unfortunately too many people’s opinions are shaped by what they see on television and in sports. How many shows on television depict a young black man who studied hard in school, established goals to be successful, and then executed those goals? T.J. makes a great point in his article. The man that came up to him was not malicious or threatening; he was simply curious because, most likely, he is over-exposed to the portral of the black man that we see on television, which, in my opinion, isn’t very flattering. How about turning off the TV and forming our own opinions first hand, one person at a time.

I totally agree with the main premise of the piece, but T.J., also please realize that in our consumer and product-driven society, what people drive “says” something about them. You’re a news anchor driving a silly-looking, tricked-out SUV. News anchors drive BMWs. So what statememt are you making with your choice of vehicle?

TJ seem to have a great t.v. personality, and I enjoy his news reporting. The example he provided is not exactly bias. I am a black male, attended a predominately white university in Mississippi. I majored in public relations. Many of the classes I was was enrolled in, I found myself being the only black male or only black. I never experience any type of racism.

The car wash example TJ provided is actually common. I think TJ was being just a little sensitive. Any male black or white would have that type of question in their mind. When am washing my SUV and see another person who pull up with a nicer ride with rims, I wonder what their occupation is too. I just never ask the person.

I am not saying Damian is a racist, but you can tell what kind of person he is; there is a saying that goes– “by their feet we shall no them”. I have similar incident happen to me in NYC where a white lady scratched my brand new Honda with her car in a well to do neighborhood. I called the cops. When they arrived it was two white cops, they first asked me “what am I doing here, do I belong here?
I responded by saying, this not what I called you for and beside I packed in front of my house. They asked is this you home, I said yes. The next question was what I do for living. At that point I called my lawyer in front of the cops and they heard me telling my lawyer the silly questions they were asking me even though I called them. They (cops) quickly wrote a report in 5 minutes and left without saying a word to me again. Even the white lady was surprise, and to my surprise she apologized to me and told me “don’t worry about them, they are white ignorant of a human.

I am white and my husband is black. When we got married in 2002, my husband’s family had problems with my race. In one hurtful incident, he was told he was dressing too ‘white’. No one ever addresses the issue of reverse racism.

“I am white and I’ve been asked if I play professional sports as well.”

Sure, Damian.

TJ’s getting paid to blog and relay a story, YOU are wasting your personal time whining about it. I think I know who the sensitive one is, and it isn’t TJ.

I don’t doubt that being black in America has its problems. Though better than it used to be, I am aware that racism still exists and I don’t condone it at all. But the thing is, racism exists in all directions and against all races, not just blacks. I’ve read blogs where blacks talk about whites, and other races, and trust me the racism goes in every direction. On top of that, while being black in America has its unique problems, so does being white in American, latino in America, asian in America, female in America, handicapped in America, American Indian in America.
I don’t mean to minimize the problems blacks face in this country, but they are not the only ones who face racism, sterotypes, or discrimination.

What a bunch of nonsense! Black American citizens in this country have a disproportionate number of social issues so it isn’t much of a stretch for other citizens to stereotype Black Americans.

Violent Crime, Joblessness, Infectious Diseases, Drug Abuse, and Very Limited Academic Success are the current hallmark of Black American Citizens (it wasn’t always this way).

These facts are undeniable and indisputable (unless you don’t go by facts) so we need to start with the root cause instead of writing about how it feels to be the recipient of that negative stereotype. At 5′11″, good looking and educated it probably sucks to be stereotyped, but any scruffy looking American Citizen at a car wash with a bling-bling urban SUV is gonna be stereotyped as a drug dealer (it’s the pimped out car that promotes that stereotype)

Americans are no longer willing to search through an entire barrel of bad apples just to find a few Excellent Ones. Black American Citizens need to start separating themselves from bad influences of troubled friends, family members, or acquaintances who would undermine their goals. The whole race issue has made this advice difficult to give to Black Americans, but it is the same message for all American Citizens independent of their skin color.

People are mistaken for things everyday.
I have a beard…people have assumed that I am a lumberjack.
As a white male, I am mistaken as a racist.
Is there going to be a series of articles called “White in America” where this is pointed out.
Thank you CNN.
I have now officialy become racist.

To those who are pointing out that white people with certain phyicalities also get asked about if they play sports, you ar emissing the point.
T.J. has given his size as 5′11, 165 pounds. He was asked if he plays professional football. In whose world does this make sense? If he was 6′3 and people asked him if he was a basketball player, you all just might have a legitamite argument. But the gentleman who asked TJ if he played sports was not keying in on his size. He noticed only the car and the color of the person driving it. He was reaching for some explanation as to how this (black) guy, dressed as he was, could afford such a nice car. His answer was “he must play pro sports.” This is the problem.

As TJ so eloquently stated, the man made an assumption based on skin color and vehicle. It probably did not even cross his mind tath

You know – T.J., I watch you, enjoy your work and respect you and never in my mind did I realize nor care that you were black until you decided to tell me. Your article was actually too shallow for you. Jessie Jackson is black and he doesn’t play in the NFL, but he doesn’t have to remind me what or who he is…..

America evaluates people INDIVIDUALLY on character and attitude whether they be black, white, or brown.

I just love how folks like Damian love to tell us (black folks) how we are supposed to feel about racism/bias. Maybe we are sensitive. 150-200 years of the crap we have had to put up with in this society will do that to a person/people. How on earth would you know what it feels like? Please keep your commentary to what you know.

I’m planning a move to the South from the Midwest. The racial divide where I live is unbearable. I want neighbors of all races and backgrounds, not just my own people. As a black woman, I understand what T.J. is saying. We know when a person is just asking so that question so they can aspire to that level. We also know when they are implying that you might be a criminal. My husband is a school teacher. We are both educated but people give you that look and lock their doors like you want they little car or SUV. In many cases, our car (SUV) was better than what they were locking up. I am not seen as a threat most of the time, but I see people look at my 6′1″, 215 lb. husband like he might hurt them. I guess some people assume that most black men are a thug or gangster. Its just sad. The area we are from is Northwest Indiana right outside of Chicago. It is documented that we are the most segregated area in the U.S. if no other area has jumped ahead of us.

Stay strong T.J. Keep being a model of excellence for our the black community and for all of America.

Have you ever wonder what it could have been like if White people were the ones who have been gone through what Black people have gone through in this Country? Chances are there would still be going a lot of rancor and revenge sentiments all over the country. From slavery and lynching to social marginalization and discrimination Black people have seen it all. But one thing that you’ll find in Black people that is not as abundant in other “races” is forgiving no matter what the perpetrator has done as misdeeds. This is an innate trait that is common to people with African roots. Here me out: In Africa revenge is something that is extremely discouraged. For example if someone has committed let’s say murder, the family of the victim has the right to decide about his/her fate. S/he could be taken to see his/her hands and feet tied so that s/he cannot swim and then the victim’s family has to decide wether to let him/her drowned or saved him/her. If they let that person drowned they will all live in pain even though they got their revenge but it is widely believed that if they forgive him/her and decide to save that person they will have closure and live in peace. I have never seen a case where the person is let to drown and die. Isn’t something?

Damian dear, when you become Black, then you may comment on what it is like to be Black in America…until then, well, you probably already know what I have to say (and please do not add any expletives or extremely rude speech, because that is not at all how I would express myself). Have a blessed day.

What’s the only way to get out of the so called “HOOD”??? You either play sports, rap or sell drugs right??? I hear that all the time, that means millions upon millions of other people hear the same thing. So does that make me a racist? My preconceived notion that you play football is me being ignorant? Sure, maybe some people are more bold and don’t have any tact, but does that make them an ignorant racist? I’m confused…What if the person that walked up to you and asked you the question was african american? That makes him ignorant and racist too, right? I’m not blaming Hollywood or the media, but we glorify the trials and tribulations of urban America and then we think what happens right there in front of our eyes is wrong. Didn’t you pay $8 to watch that same wrong thing in a movie or spend $13 to buy a CD that says the same wrong thing over and over again? The guy that asked that question was an IDIOT. But do I understand why he asked the question, YES I do. Until we start looking at each other as people and not some stupid label (african america, caucasian, asian american) or color, we’re always going to have these same situations. ONE PLANET – ONE PEOPLE!!!

This story is simiar to the popular story about the father and son who are in a very serious car crash. The father dies at the scene and the son is rushed to a hospital for life saving surgery. Once there, the sugeon sees the boy and say “I can’t operate on this boy, he’s my son”. How is this possible?

I, like many others racked my brain for the answer that was really quite simple but says a lot about our pre-concieved notions of what type of person does what.

By the way, the surgeon is his mother!

To Gregg: “Typical white attitude”?!?!? How outrageous that you would dare call someone a racist when you make ignorant statements like that. Assuming that because someone is white they are racist is equally as alarming as seeing a black person as only successful because they play football. Racism occurs in all races, and responses like yours just prove that point.

Same thing happened to me every time I went to cash my scholarship refund checks… I would get about 1500 back a semester because my scholarships were more than my tuition.

It seems like every single time, the teller would ask me if it were for basketball. I always replied, ‘Nope, engineering’.

That always put a smile on my face =]

i too understand this to be true once back in late 90’s i was on my way from kelly AFB in san antonio back to little rock to see my family i was stationed there during the kosovo conflict but my regular job was a sheriffs deputy i was stopped by the state police in tex mind u i was driving a rented 99 dodge ram ext cab that the military had to give me when my own car was stolen while on active duty in tex the first thing the police officer says is that is a nice truck is it yours i simply stated yes he says really!!! as if some big surprise asked for my id i kept it behind my badge he only then gave me respect and then told me to slow down

Dear T.J. Holes,
I am 6′2 even and i am only 13 years old. Iam on my way to the 9th Grade and I fear going to a regular school because of the pressure I have to play sports. I dont really like sports. I want to be a teacher so i can teach my students to follow there dreams. Do you Have any advice

These short-sighted prejudices are taught at the dinner table, handed down from one generation to the other. As such, it’s not about the outdated beliefs of the past dying out or giving way to a better tomorrow.

Add to the fact that labeling is part of human nature, so that we can understand and engage without the dreaded fear of the unknown. That’s at the root of prejudging and will most likely never change, even in the tolerant-but-not-accepting United States of America.

I think I have to say that I am like the inquisitive man in the article as well…but I always think the same thing when I see a young hillbilly caucasian person driving a large “tricked out” monster truck, or an expensive car racing down the street or the highway. I am racist? Are Hillbillys another race alltogether?

T.J, i get the same question over and over again. I am a 6′2 230lb black man who just happen to be into body building and taking care of himself. Professionally, i am an engineer with a masters degree but what does it matter to them.. all the see is a Pro baller.

Thanks for sharing your story i totally concur.

Damian: You are obviously ignorant like many Americans and “conveniently” forget about the history of different races and cultures in the “United” states of America. Maybe TJ had a mistaken perception, maybe he didn’t. But, who are you to judge anything?

Your reality and perceptions are influenced by both individual experiences and history, as well as those with whom you have common characteristics. This includes but is not limited to race, gender, height, weight, etc. Unfortunately, every subset (even whites in certain circumstances) within these groups unfairly experience discrimination, bias and judgment.

However, irrespective of this unfortunate common reality, it is irresponsible to seemingly discredit the experience of African-Americans by acting as though there is no justification for their perceptions, whether they are accurate in all circumstances or not.

It’s no simple task to take 300 years of historical murder, discrimination, and bias and act as though now it no longer exists. Given this, I think TJ and many other African Americans are more than justified to perceive situations in such ways, even if they are being “overly sensitive”. Particularly since I live in the South and continue to witness ignorance and prejudice every day.

People make assumptions about the way we look all the time and it is not always about race. I have a bachelor of science degree in engineering and I am 31 years old but look younger than my age. When I go into a store, like Walmart or Target, on the weekends, dressed in shorts and T shirt, or jeans and T shirt, 75% of the time, someone will ask me “where do I find…?”. They never ask if I work there, they always assume that I do. So people make all kinds of assumptions based on the way you look – don’t let it bother you.

Aren’t there more college-aged black men in prison than in university?

I think the point most that is being missed by those claiming TJ was being overly sensitive (or Blacks being overly sensitive) is that the guy questioning TJ started his sentence with “Man, I just gotta know. What do YOU GUYS do to have nice cars like that?”. That “You Guys” specifies young Black males. Anyone saying otherwise is just as biased/racist as the person who approached TJ.

Until people readjust their own biased views towards Blacks, we will continue to have issues like these & the bloggers saying Blacks are being overly sensitive.

Brian, the cops did not stop because of racial bias. They stopped you because they found it odd ,because a white guy was in a seedy part of town.

In America, If we are truly honest with our selves we would realize that blacks and whites are’nt truly friends. They said to themselves ‘why is this white guy in a black niehbhorood” Just as they would say ” why is this black guy in a white area” The sooner we realize that we have no use for on another the better off we will all be.

People like Damien will never get it. race is a state of mind. It forms our attitudes and beliefs. Some whites cannont envison a young black man as nothing more than a inmate or an athlete. Some blacks believe that all whites are racist. Our society groups and label people.

Is this article really necessary? Aren’t there more important things to talk about than this? I am a college educated white person. I had a professor tell me when I started that I was not college material and wouldn’t make it. I didn’t go crying to the media that he was being racist or stereotyping me. I just took that comment as a motivator and proved to the guy that I could do it. The same situation could be used for the rest of the world. Instead of sulking all day about some stereotype, go out and do something about it. TJ, you say you are an educated man, well according to the article you wrote, it sounds like you carry an uneducated chip on your shoulder. You should be above this. I do not understand why SOME blacks want to be considered equal to everyone else but still have the “Poor Me” mentality.

As an older white man that grew up in the South, I am biased. I have these preferences: white women, straight men, Fords, steak and various other things peculiar to me. I also prefer the company of other white people at work, at play and most other occasions. I prefer floks who have the same likes and dislikes, cultural background and political views. I’m not big on Hippies, Yippies, Yuppies or long haired dirty folks regardless of color. I tolerate others who disagree with me and wish they would tolerate me. Yes, I am biased and so are all of you.

I know this is going to sound strange, but this article is a good example of the improvement of race relations in America. You cannot expect a racist to all of the sudden just come around and see that character defines a person, not skin color. I say that in reference to many white Americans during the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s. Believe it or not these racist people have had kids whose views are strongly influenced by their parents. This guy that TJ mentions did not hate TJ for his skin color, but was just naive of the truth. Hopefully this incident has helped him take a step towards the truth. This means that when he has kids, they won’t be as racist as the previous generation. While race relations in America are not fixed, I find it promising that they are improving.

I think it’s great when someone says something ignorant. That is the time for dialogue and teaching. A great way to learn, is to talk about things and through education. When Mr. Holmes tells the guy he is a news anchor, that individual just learned something new. What if he never asked? He would continue to think that Mr. Holmes is a football player. Everyone is ignorant in some way, but the best way to get rid of the ignorance is not by knocking someone down for something they say as ridiculous, but just explainingthe situation. I’m sure that would be more effective.

It’s really disturbing to read some of the comments posted, and the personal attacks on TJ. TJ was merely writing about his experiences of racial bias. Again, they are his experiences and we should respect his view on them. For those of you who think the CNN coverage is boring and stupid, try watching it so that you can understand, or perhaps you see your own faults while watching the documentary? Those of you who are not African American do not understand the racial prejudices and bias that African Americans faced in the past and still face today. It’s easy for you to judge us as being “sensitive” or “overreacting”; That’s so very easy to do when you haven’t experienced the pain of rejection from a society that judges you based upon the color of your skin and doesn’t see you as equal. Other races are privileged to jobs and other resources because of their skin color. But what is it about blacks that produces so much hatred from other races? Is it our swagger? Is it the fact that we are survivors? Is it the fact that we were the first creation of civilization? In addition, you must consider the nation in which we live. We try to sweep racism under a rug, you can’t hide something that continues to exist, but God has a way of bringing things to light. Racism is a spirit and it’s something that we can’t fight in the physical. To the guy who made the comment about latinos in this country, PLEASE! You came here by choice, we were kidnapped and brought to this country and were here long before latinos arrived. If you want people to understand your struggles, then you pressure CNN to produce a documentary. I am a college educated brother. Lastly, I worked full-time during undergrad and grad schools, have a solid work history, several employment related awards, highly regarded in my community, intelligent, good looking (LOL). Would you believe that it was extremely difficult for me to find a decent paying job after I received my degree; however, a young white kid, straight out of college with no work experience can EASILY make close to 6 figures right off the back. Explain that?

For black Americans you might want to consider how people of color and the media represent your race.

I haven’t seen any positive black families since the Cosby Show so you might understand how white America thinks that rappers, comedians and sports stars are the only “positive” role models.

I hope Obama wins the presidential race not only because of his intellect and platform of change but also for the family values he espouses.

All people make generalizations about other races (Irish, German, Polish, Black, Chinese) etc. The key is to realize that these are generalizations and not a hard and fast rule.

People’s brains automatically try to categories information. That is why you think, “oh he is from the south or wow he’s tall he must be a basketball player etc etc.”

I’m Irish and I admit that almost everyone in my family drinks like a fish! But the important thing to consider is I don’t drink at all because I don’t like what it did to my family.

Usually, people have misconceptions or make generalizations about another race when they aren’t interacting with that race enough. This holds true for all people.

If its bad, this show let’s you know that Blacks lead in every catagory. I find the stats hard to believe. How can we lead in everything bad and be only 13% of the population? Doesnt anything see something wrong with this picture.

Is racism real? Yes.
What are blacks going to do about it?
I don’t think blacks know what to do about it.

But until the day that there is a movement with the majority of blacks (men leading) the people to change from the inside out, we will continue to struggle as a people; (and yes White America will be right there to help us “continue to struggle “and point it out for us)

I am a working mom and wear loose-fitting tops, people see me with my kids and think I’m pregnant. I think they are preganantists. wahhh!

OK great article and everything but it is true that Asians are good at math, just look at the test scores.

oops, hit the wrong key

As I was saying. It probably didn’t even cross his mind that this black man with the nice car could be a successful business man, or professional. He made the assumption that the only way this (black) man could drive this car is that he plays sports.

Nate – A successful black professional from GA

Ms. Jay….have you ever been ignored by black clerks, just because you are white? Give kids names that make sense, and people might respect them more…

Here is a question for everyone who says “Have you ever been black? You don’t know how it feels?”

Have you ever been white? Then quit assuming you can talk for me. If you hate it here..leave.

The most amazing thing is, you never see an article on how Black America does the same thing to the Asian Americans as the White America does to them. If TJ wants to be recognized as an educated young black male, then he should wear a T-shirt that says it. I’m Asain and I do not know karate, my name is not Bruce Lee, Hedeki Matsui, Chieng-Meng Wang, Jackie Chen. I do not own a fruit stand or a dry cleaners. This article is crap, try to educate Black America not to be so sensitive or educate them to be sensitive to others. Koreans were slaves also. Should we find ourself a Rev Al SharptWONG.

While your article was a very interesting read…I cant help but notice how handsome your are. Wow!! Sorry, but I had to go there!!

To everyone back-and-forthing on black people, or TJ, being “oversensitive” or not -

We’re ALL oversensitive AND we’re ALL faced with a degree of racial bias. The degree isn’t as big as it appears, but it’s bigger than some people try and make it.

As a White Christian American who served in the armed forces, I have encountered someone of just about every race, nationality, or religion, who by nature of some aspect of my background has predetermined me as their oppressor.

I’m not racist. I don’t care where you come from. I don’t care what God you worship, if any. But still, even *I* am stereotyped.

Why is it you and the other black respondents who wrote to support your message think incidents like what happened to you happens to black people only? And you always read something into the incident that more than likely has nothing to do with your color. And why does everytime something like this happen to many of you black people that you immediately think of the color issue?

I can remember several times that BLACK men asked me if I had played pro ball; two or more asked if I had played for the Dallas Cowboys. Why? Because I was told I favor a former Dallas Cowboy football player. On two other occarions, I was wearing a golf shirt from an NFL tournament I had participated in.

Was I offended? Was I weakened by their questions? Did I think the questioners were idiots?

None of the above. I was flattered that someone would think I had accomplished WHAT FEW PEOPLE ACCOMPLISH IN THEIR LIFE. I WOULD HAVE BEEN FORTUNATE TO PLAY IN THE NFL.

And TJ, if I saw you at a car wash as you described, how in the hell would I know you were a CNN anchor? You stated when describing how you were dressed that day that “I didn’t necessarily look like an anchor”. What the hell is a tv anchor suppose to look like TJ?

Damian is write. You have over-reacted to a SILLY ASS incident.

I suggest you get a real life.

To offer a counterpoint, I have my own story. I am white, 6′1″ 210 lbs. and academically gifted. I went on a full ride to college and law school, and also have a masters degree. Like you, I also have a fancy car along with a watch and jewelry to match. Everywhere I go, not just one isolated incident, I get asked immediately whether I play professional football. Am I offended? Slightly. Perhaps they don’t think big arms and a big brain go hand and hand, but I don’t take it as some sort of profiling against meatheads. OF COURSE people think a built young man in a tricked out car is a professional athlete. This is a reasonable assumption, hence why I don’t care. In your case almost every professional football player is african american. Further, your height and weight most certainly would qualify you to play a number of positions on the field that require speed, not size. Finally, most americans associate super sized SUV’s on 22’s as a distinctly celebrity phenomena and how can you blame them? Pimp my ride, cribs, etc. So please, if this is the best example you can come up with for ‘racism’ then maybe the meatheads of the world should unite and start a group therapy session.

The myth perpetuated by the media, including your CNN, is that the only blacks who can afford such things are thugs and dealers. Before you judge others about their preconceptions, look at your business and the stereotypes it perpetuates.

As someone who has grown up never “seeing” color, I used to never understand racism. I grew up in a place where whites, blacks, hispanics, asians, everyone, were friends. It never even occurred to me that someone would somehow be less of a person than I am because of the color of their skin. In fact, it still boggles my mind that people think that way. As I’ve grown, developed, begun a career, and travelled, I’ve met people who don’t see things the way I do. I don’t understand it. I see the racism, but I also see reverse racism. I’m offended when comments are made that “white” people think this way, or see things a certain way. I’ve never once acted in a way that would even suggest a racial bias towards another person, yet I am just another “white person.” It offends me, and I’m not sure I like that label, just as blacks don’t like the labels placed upon everyone of their skin tone.

Don’t worry TJ, no one considers a news anchor a success. And there are far fewer CNN anchors then there are NFL players, therefore it’s more likely that you would be a NFL player. I’ve shaved my head since I was 23, and people have asked me repeatedly if I was a neo-nazi. A group of co-workers referred to me as “American History X” after my resemblance to Ed Norton in the movie. Get back to me once you’ve really been offended, this is a joke.

Well written article TJ, Blk’s have had a different experience in America than 99% of people of european heritage. So we don’t have to measure ourselves to thier standards, we must determine who we are and broadcast our greatness.

Also, the so-called white people have used blk’s and other MAJORITY peolpe for thier gain and riches. While manipulating the broadcast airways making them look like saviors to humanity.

Finally, I know Joe took the BLUE pill.(movie- The Matrix)

Great story TJ! It really is a shame that in this day and time that we as African Americans are still looked upon as people that are ignorant and not able to achieve the best of what life has to offer and that we all play sports to achieve the American dream. I’ve often said that I’m an endangered species (being a black male). I recently purchased a foreign vehicle and I’ve gotten so much flak from having it. The first comments that I heard was that you must be a drug dealer not having a clue that I’m an educated black male that works hard to achieve what I get out of life. Several times I’ve thought about trading the car and getting something different to stop the comments. Then I realized that if I took that approach I was giving them power to control me. TJ I would like to commend you on doing such good work. You are truly a role model for the African American male.

There is racism in America and Americans struggle with it daily. I am east Indian, it’s funny that I have to specify that I am east Indian because most people in this forum would think that I am Native American if I hadn’t specify that I am east Indian. People from India were Indian long before Columbus came here to America and thought that the Native Americans were Indians. Anyway I came to the US seven years ago to pursue graduate studies. I currently live in Atlanta. I am a living example of racism. I am dark skinned and darker than most black people in the US. But I still get pulled over and followed in the malls. I don’t dress like some of the black people do and most people in this forum should know how Indian people dress. And I do get called the N word. I do not however think that all white people are racist. Some white people are racist as are some black people. But all those white people who think that racism is a thing of the past puhleease. I am East Indian and for me to say that racism still exists should make white people realize that I have no bias against anybody and am plainly speaking the truth. So please realize what is happening here in the US and don’t be ignorant and realize the plight of black people.

we love you T.J.

I’ve read through a few comments and see a trend to some extent. As a black person or a person of color, we relate to TJ’s story because this is the life that we live every single day. Some people see us for who we are, but we feel that typically occurs after people get to know us for who we really are. I have a doctorate and am constantly asked questions from my white counterparts that one would consider racist. Often, I contribute it to a lack of knowledge or interaction with people different then themselves. When we live in segregated neighborhoods and attend segregated school systems, this is the result. And do not get me wrong, it happens from all parties involved.

This article isn’t TJ’s only occurence of dealing with what he perceived as a racist attitude towards him. The problem with confronting race in America, as well as many other issues such as religion, is that most people enter the conversation with preconceived notions and defensive responses. People of all races have to be open to hearing the other person’s perspective and try to imagine the world from someone else’s point of view. It’s nice that we can spark dialogue about being Black in America but until we actually come into these discussions as active listeners with open ears and closed mouths, our progress will remain restricted

Now how did you get contacted for this? I’m a minority and not black, but there is no lengthy article to cover my story in America. Your story is old and over told. How many years will America have to deal with black people being offended by everything the man does? I’m sorry someone paid you a compliment about playing a professional sport… poor you. Maybe you should wear your press badge around, so that mistake will never happen again.

By the way people. Barack is not Black. He is half African half White and he only met his African father once. He was raised by a white mother and in Indonesia and Hawaii. The only problem I have with him is that he is a Democrat. I’m tired of the media overplaying him and making him to be something more than what he is… an inexperienced junior senator from Illinois.

God Bless the USA!

Regarding Franks Comments:

Kudos to you Frank for not seeing color, I wish there were more people just like you. While I agree with the majority of your comments please remember this. I am a 38 year old black college educated male with a “white collar” wall street job. However, even with the credentials I have worked hard to attain I must keep in the back of my mind that prior to an interview the first thing my interviewer will notice is the color of my skin. I must raise my child with the tools essential for survival in an environment that will be hostile to her at times because of the color of her skin. As for blacks not having morals and values you are wrong. The fact is Frank that morals and value tend to break down over a period of time when a woman has children at a very early age and her child does the same. It is akin to a chid (maybe 16 or so) raising a child (new born or infant). Another part of the equation is the role the male plays in the creation of the child and his unwillingness or inability to be a positive influence on that child. It is not simply a lack of morals among blacks it is a lack of opportunity, lack of identity, socioeconomic hardship, and a basic breakdown of the family structure…Please evaluate these dynamics prior to passing judgement..

I hate to be the black man to mess the curve up, but…We as people of color are not just fighting the ignorance of past generations, (black and white), but we also have to combat and consider how we allow ourselves to be portrayed as well as what we place value on.
TJ said he had a big SUV on 22s looking hot….my question is what made that car so hot? Rappers, sports stars, and drug dealers? So the people that tend to (but not always) embody the very things we are saying we are not, we imitate. Then the first thing we say is, “what a black man can’t have a nice car?” My question to everyone is, if we expect to be considered like an “upstanding citizen”, is that what we present.
Someone who is secure and content doesn’t need to flash the “baller” life but our values are based in pop culture. You see it in our music, TV shows, and our peers. I used to be caught up in this game too until I had children. The only people that I need to impress are my kids, my wife, my family, and God. Now think about that…these people don’t care what kind of car you have, how much cash you have or anything like that. They just want to be loved and respected by you and in return they give it back. Now if you were to portray that to the public, attitudes are forced to change. Judgments are no longer made because of what you “look like”, but your character. The only way for this to become reality outside the home, is for every one of all races to reevaluate what do we really value in a person and in our life.
We also need to stop throwing the race card every time something goes wrong in our lives. It does not matter the color of the parties involved. If it’s wrong…it’s wrong. The motivation is irrelevant. If I hurt someone, the color of their skin does not minimize the damage I caused. We should stop hiding behind our race, and stand out and uplift it and all races.

CNN says its “moderating” i.e. censuring and or editing my honest and non-infamatory comment on this subject. Translation: They are applying their journalistic (liberal) editing techniques to it to ensure it reflects CNN’S point of view. What a farce.

For those that say “I’m white and the same size of T.J.’s and I get asked if I play basketball too.” WOW, seriously? You must resemble the great 5′10” white males that participate in pro sports. Or you must resemble JKidd or Steve Nash identically. You obviously missed the correlation T.J. was stating between a black man’s wealth and the wrongful assumption ‘that more than likely ‘ he’s a pro athlete.

And hey Joe, to your statement of “the fact is that most black men are nowhere NEAR the top or mid-level corporate ladder. They have no one to blame but themselves. They are the ONLY people not to make it in this country! Just a fact.” What kind of people still hold them back Joe?…The same one’s that truly, and wrongfully, believe they are the ONLY people not to make it in this country. So who’s really to blame.

And FYI, Darrell Green is 184 lbs. But, I agree, he’s one of the greatest.

Perhaps his assumption stemmed from the fact that you had a “hot ride” with 22″ rims? It is stereotyping nonetheless, but I’m quite certain that if you were hosing down your brand new Prius with stock steelies, your “racist assailant” would be entirely less skeptical about your career in journalism.

What poor light do you cast upon yourself by openly assuming his skepticism was based on your race rather than the items with which you choose to surround yourself? Why must his assumptions that you play ball come from his insecurity that a black man is making more money than him, rather than his admiration of athletics as a career? What do you base your accusations on, the high probability that white people are racially biased? Isn’t this no different than basing an assumption off the fact that the population of college-educated is made up of so few black men , and even fewer black men sporting 22″ rims?

Cnogratulations on the successful career, making a TON of money, and purchasing a ‘hot’ truck, T.J. Here’s me giving you a pat on the back.

Now, can we get on with our day?

I liked the article and this series as it does give everyone a chance to see how things are for blacks in America right now at the beginning of what could be a historical change. I think everyone should watch and read to gain insight and knowledge.

Thank you, T.J., for sharing your story. It really echoes some of my own personal experiences. I’ve traveled the world, earned my International Baccalaureate from a prominent British school, and my B.S. from NYU. I also own my own my own home and a second in FL. I speak with diction and a well-developed vocabulary, I dress well, and my knowledge of both business and social etiquette is extensive. I don’t fit the model of “the typical young, black male,” or at least I didn’t think I did.

Growing up in MS racial bias was a fact of life, and in contrast to other views expressed by other posters I do not think acknowledging the existence of this bias makes me “overly sensitive.” In fact, I think such bias causes the exact opposite effect making one numb. Even my own admission of “racial bias was a fact of life” is somewhat worrisome to me. Bias of any sort should not be a fact of life, and we as a society should stop excusing it. I excuse it all the time when I allow someone to be “surprised” that I’m a college graduate or a homeowner without asking “Why?”. To Damians point above, it could be because I’m 25, but it in most cases I suspect it is because I’m black. I don’t think this makes me overly sensitive–just cognizant of the fact that bias exists.

However, the excuses stop today. I would like to thank CNN and Soledad O’Brien for creating a stimulus for discussion. It has definitely caused me to challenge my own perceptions of the “typical young, black male.” I think as a college graduate, homeowner, and successful individual I do fit the mold as “the typical young, black male.” It’s perception that needs to change, and this CNN Special will hopefully be the conduit of that change.

So thanks again, T.J. Thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for giving the entire country a good look at the “typical young, black male.” You are educated, successful, well-dressed and you speak with incredible diction–you are the “typical young, black male.”

Well I am sick of hearing about black injustices. Lets hear some stories about the Japenese, Indian, and Mexican populations who are discriminated much more than anyone else in US society. Why are their stories never told? We live in a new age where people are too afraid to criticize black peolpe at all and are bombarded with these sob stories that affect everyone else in America including whites just as much if not more.

Funny! I never thought of you as “black” or “white” etc. I just think of you as a good anchor and a rather handsome one at that.

I’m sorry, but I can’t help but say TJ you are FINE!

Unless you are a person of color and have experienced these types of biases on a regular basis, then you have no room to talk or comment on these types of issues. You have no basis for your arguement and you are expousing your thoughts from a point of ignorance. I cannot tell you how many times I have been followed through a store only to see someone of a nother race doing the stealing but I am the one being followed.

Great article TJ. I often remind my 14 year old son (who constantly struggles in school) that an education will take you wherever you want to go. Having earned my Masters degree while a single-parent, it was difficult. Yet I wanted to be an example to my son so much that I had no other choice. I wanted it for me and for him. Plus, my grandmother and mother always told me to use the brain God gave me and I did. You are wonderful role model, please stay on the positive side and continue to let God use you!!

A guy gets asked if he is a professional sportsman and he is angry?
Be happy that you have a good enough body to be asked that question…not everyone does…
I guarantee that black guys aren’t the only people asked this question and no one else is complaining…everyone else thinks it is a compliment.

I heard a story last night that some of these threads reminded me of.

I live in Texas and a friend of mine (who is Hispanic) was riding in a car with a coworker (who was Black) during the workday.

They ate at a Chinese restuarant and the entire cooking staff was Hispanic (pretty common down here) and the Black man commented to the Hispanic guy something along the lines of “how come all the Chinese food around here is cooked by you Mexicans?” They both laughed and thought nothing of it.

After they left they drove by a Black kid buying a snow cone from a stand. The Hispanic guy said “how come all you Black people are always eating snowcones?” He was just trying to come up with something witty as a response to the Mexicans comment. (Although I have to say it was a pretty lame joke, and for the record there is no correlation between Black people and snowcones)

When my Hispanic friend gets to work the next day he finds out his Black coworker filed a complaint against him for making racist comments.

We’ve created a super-sensitive society where everyone takes everything the wrong way and blames everyone else for their shortcomings.

I am not sure I see this the same way. After all, football players do go to college. Steve Young, a 49er, has a law degree. Vince Young, QB, takes classes during the summer. On the flip side of this, I will say, I live in a town full of Vikings so I see a lot of players and I do think ome what the same thing, SUV, fancy touches = football player but is this stereotyping? Sometimes, I am wrong and they’re Twins players (I live in a nice town) but for me, it’s the vehicle leads me to think professional sports player, not the vehicle coupled with the skin color of the driver. I guess I’m a vehicle profiler.

Stereotypes exist, no one can ignore that fact. Why ? Its only human to try and create over simplifications based on some externally observable traits. Tall, short, skinny, fat, all are just people…nothing more, nothing less. Theres nothing diferent other than what affectations they hide behind as “culture”

T.J. , I have the same experience ALL the time. I hold multiple degrees, and have translated my education into a successful career. I have been asked similiar DUMB questions, like “Do you work at the airport” (this is because I was wearing a suit). I also drive a nice car. When I first bought my car, I was CONSTANTLY tailed by the police, mind you I am a women??

Some days I really wonder if there will be a day when I can go to work/go out at night and not feel like “They really don’t want me here”

As a teacher of 12 years, and uncle of three beatiful mixed children, i would have to say the TJ’s article was extremely articulate and from my experiences, very accurate. Until you see the racial bias’ in a classroom, on campus, and in your own family, one may be inclined to turn a blind cheek to it’s reality in our society. Fortunately, I live in California, a state that I must add is far ahead of much of the country, when it comes to racial equality and understanding the wonderful differences in culture and life experiences that make our country great.
With the aformentioned statements being present, may I add that I have also seen firsthand a major decline in work ethic, discipline, ability to deal with struggle and frustration academically, lack of goals, and sacrifice on behalf of all students in this country. Stay tuned for my book, “The Money Teacher,” to be out soon, a guide for teachers in implementing a classroom management program that will inspire your students to achieve heights in the classroom never seen before. Thanks for listening everyone and God bless.

I am surprised Mr. Holmes does not recognize his own bias. The man asked him a questioned and he interpreted it as racial bias. It seems he interpreted the questions as racial bias merely because it was asked. When I see someone with something expensive I may wonder what they do for a living. It has nothing to do with race. Did Mr. Holmes assume the man had a racial bias merely because he was of another race? He doesn’t give us enough information to know.

Hands up, who thinks the guy was hitting on him?

Sick of it….. It has been the mantra for centuries to get more…step up and get with the Global program American blacks…Do you hear the countless other groups who STILL are being persecuted saying someone owes them something ? NO not even the whites treated like dirt in predominatly non white countries. Please stop the whining and go MAKE a life…so many young blacks are already doing that…so the rest of you who think reparations and pay back is due you…then I want money from the English, who stole from my irish ancestors, and those tribes who were savged and displaced by the Normans and other tribes in England want pay back, and the Indians in THIS country want all of us out including you complaining blacks. We can’t give you anything form this country because you helped us steal it from the indians as buffalo soldiers etc. Where does it end…it ends NOW ! it worked for you for years. the complaining and blaming..it needs to stop NOW. If Obama gets in he better stop it NOW ! if not then onoy sadness will prevail.

Was it totally something that you would never have been asked by some member of your own race, but in a lower tax bracket?

To damian and the other posters who say the comment may not have been racially motivated: Its all in the tone of voice used by the man to TJ. Believe me, you know when a question is coming from an innocent place by the tone of voice and what emphasis is placed on certain words.

It goes back to an age old issue. You have to walk a mile in a man’s shoes to really understand what their issues are.

So many white people (not all) will say, blacks are overly-sensitive, but unless you have had felt the slights, the quick-conversation change when you enter a room, the sudden tension when you go into a high-end store or 4-star restaurant where the clientele is 95% white, unless you are a 16yr old black girl, just strolling down the main street on a sunny lovely day in the diverse town you grew up and had a car full of white boys just yell the N word at you for no reason, unless you go for a job interview fully qualified, dressed appropriately and see the other applicant blonde/blue-eyed and dressed inadequately, w/no experience get that job, unless you are a married woman who has just given birth and are resting then made to switch rooms to be in a room with another “girl who you may have more in common with”, oh I can go on and on, but you can get the drift.

And lets just say, despite all those things, I am not bitter, nor angry at all white people. Its just like this series is titled. Being Black in America is an experience that we can tell you about, but you will never fully understand.

The negative comments posted here just proves T. J.’s point. When will ignorance, racisim and bias ever end? Probably never. We can only pray that one day it will happen. Great article T. J.! I enjoyed it very much. We’re proud of you!

Fight the power. Maybe you should drive a Prius, instead of a gangsta mobile.

One of the smartest Guys that I know is black and never went to college. He dresses professionally all the time and doesn’t have rims on his car and he never has a problem with racism because not even the ignorant racist people can say anything about him because of his professional appearance.

Wait a second — in an article about racism, the best (and only) example that T.J. can muster is that some white guy gave him a *compliment* about his car?

I mean, the guy didn’t say anything nasty, didn’t use any racist language (in fact, didn’t mention race at all), wasn’t unpleasant in any way. Just a guy at the car wash making conversation.

If this is T.J.’s biggest problem, then God bless him.

T.J., unfortunately, I know first hand what you are talking about. I am a 40 year old black man that happens to be an officer in the Navy with a 20+ year career. My family lives a normal middle class life, yet I still find myself being followed by a store clerk in a music store.

These misconceptions and stereotyped assumptions will continue to persist due to simple ignorance. I have found in my 20+ years in the Navy, that our military is a cross section of society. We have within our organization all of these same issues. The difference for many young individuals in the military is the fact that they become exposed to other cultures and ethnicities at early age (prior to 25yo). This exposure, in most instances, is sort of an antidote for the ignorance that ails them.

This is why I am in favor of institutions of higher learning continuing to strive for diversity. Exposure to other cultures is essential to breaking through ignorance. It is no small wonder why Barack Obama is doing well amongst college graduates and not so well amongst rural whites. Individuals that are insulated from other cultures have a natural tendency to fear them.

I realized financial success early in life – owned and drove porsche cars, etc. Had the same experiences as you describe and was often “pulled over by the police” asking “who’s car is this” etc, etc. Oh, I did not mention I’m White (and just like the football player assumption, just because my last name is Thomas does not mean I’m Black like many assume – as you probably did when you started to read this). Get over it – enough is enough already. What about moving forward…..

I’m sorry, I just think that this is not a big deal and not worth writing about. Sometimes those cars look pretty obnoxious to those of us who are careful about our pennies and our carbon footprint. My husband is a tall white guy and he gets asked if he plays basketball all the time and hears a stupid height comment every day of his life. He’s not writing essays about it and defining it as “tall-ism.” I feel like Obama’s candidacy has opened a door for a lot of over-analysis for people who really, in the scheme of things, don’t have it so bad. I’m a “liberal” by most standards but I do turn to CNN for news, not this stuff.

I am a government professional with a Masters from a top university. I am not a fan of wearing a tie unless necessary. I saw a woman lost in our building a few years ago. I showed her to my office area and a phone, so she could call the person whose office she sought. At first she stood back assuming I would dial the phone for her. I handed her the phone.

When speaking to the person she was looking for, she indicated that a “security guard” was helping her.

I was wearing dress pants and a dress shirt! I had no hat, badge, gun, billy club, handcuffs or any other attire indicative of being a security guard. I walked back to my cubicle in dismay and discuss. I guess my Carnegie Mellon degree wasn’t showing that day.

get to the point people and move on thats the only way we will get over this “so call” racism.

Give me a break TJ I didn’t ask you about your car or your professional football career! I could care less if you make more money than me, and I don’t watch bigots on TV so I won’t be watching you.

Just a thought. If the man had be black would TJ have taken it the way he had or do you think he would have laughed it off? I have seen this scenario too and realize that white people are being scrutinized in every aspect of our life. Recently on our local news a white town officials used the term “black hole” to describe a dead file room. Another black official heard the term and was offended and he rallied for this man to be fired for this one statement. It will get to the point where white people will be so afraid to say anything we will simply say nothing. Then our silence will be taken as a racial insult so I see it as a no win situation. Recently I was walking into a grocery store with my son and an elderly black woman riding one of those motorized scooters was coming out. I stopped and let her pass showing her this curtesy as she was elderly and not black. She took one look at me and spit at my feet nearly missing my son’s feet. He was bewildered and ask why she did that?. I told him, some people no matter what age, have no manners. Now had the tables been turned….

Reading this peace, I would have to say, as a minority in this wonderful country, there are a lot more we have to teach each other to break away from all the misconception of race. Unfortunately, stereotype and bias is what society converts to as a comfort of understanding to what they don’t understand and fathom for a minority to acquire a higher achievement than what has been protrayed for so long.

I live in a suburb of Houston, Texas and my husband who is 6′0, 190 pounds, gets this ALL, ALL, ALL, ALL of the time from white people. I can’t tell you how many times he’s been asked what football team he plays for. It has happened at the car wash, the gas station, restaurants- even my daughter’s 5th grade teacher asked her what team does her dad play? What?? I own a staffing firm, and my husband is an Environmental, Health & Safety Manager. I think it’s interesting that this is so common.

Ask your friends how many times they have heard this.

You sitting around with colleagues, and the conversation veers over into blacks in American. Your colleague rips of a list of his complaints against “those” people. When you remind him that you are also black, he comes back into focus and says, “I didn’t really mean you. You’re different.”

People who haven’t travelled or experience different people in terms of race and culture are very small minded. There are many successful people of color wether it be sports, buisness, science etc etc. We have a case in point OBAMA who embodies a Successful HUMAN BEING!

My 14 year old son is an amazing athlete. He runs track and plays soccer. He has broken school records and holds the record for the best time in 100M in the district. At the end of his 8th grade year, the high school coaches visited him. They assumed (wrongly) that Michael’s only goal in life was to become a professional athlete. My son came home and shared how “clueless” he thought the coaches were and how their visit had accomplished the exact opposite…making the decision NOT to play football. He was disappointed that they didn’t try to “sell” the school based on its academic record and that they expressed no interest in HIS interests. What they didn’t know is that Michael is an honor student…a member of the National Junior Honor Society, a member of the Student Council…a former class president…first chair trumpet player in band, voted “Everybody’s Friend” by his peers and wants to be an attorney . All they were interested in was that he is black.

I’m not saying that racial bias dont exist, but is it possible that if there was a young white athletic looking male dressed the same way and driving the same automobile that the man would have thought the same thing. I would have, white, black, hispanic or asian, I would have thought athlete or drug dealer. And it would of been more about the outfit and car then it would have been their race.

This is so frustrating. Do you not realize what year it is? The time of when “laws are written for white people only” are over. Yeah there are some white people out there that just plane don’t like black people and visa versa, but the majority of Americans are understanding and bending over backwards to make everyone feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Doesn’t anyone get it that all this racism blame is the main stem of racism. No white person wants to be labeled as a racist just because of there skin color, yet that is happening every day and that is the reason all this frustration is about. A white person can’t open there mouth to a black person anymore without something being taken out of context. Stop blaming everything on racism and labeling all white people as racists and this whole thing will go away!

I’m sure what happened to TJ happens all the time to all races of people, but blacks are more sensitive to it. More than likely for good reason.
I’m white and a few years ago I went to Snow Shoe W.V on a ski vacation. While I was there, me and a few friends went to a local bar for the night of partying. When we got a position at the bar the bartenders ignored us for 20-23 minutes while other customers were served that arrived after us. We tried to get their attention but we continued to be ignored. We finally got a table and our waitress brought us our drinks and from that point on everything was OK. We were being overlooked because we weren’t locals and the bartenders knew it and refused to serve us. My point is all people experience biases on occasion. People just have to over look ignorant people regardless of race. All races have people to discriminate against them. I once tried to get a supervisors job at Sears delivery department, this department delivers washer, dryer, refrigerators and so on. I was more than qualified for that job. Every person that worked there was black. When I talked to the hiring manager, a black man, he said that I was qualified but he was going in a different direction. He ended up hiring a black man. Was I overlooked because I was white? It would be easy for me to think so. wouldn’t you say. My point is it goes both ways. It’s called life. You get over it and move on.

It’s not necessarily racist to ask someone who’s driving a tricked out SUV how they can afford it. Or someone that’s 6′-7 if they played college basketball. Rude, sure, but not racist. And let’s not call Damian racist because he voiced his opinion. He makes some valid points, which you’re welcome to disagree with. There are worse forms of racism in this country that we should work to resolve. If you jump all over someone who has a different opinion than you, all you’ll do is drive them further from your point of view.

In response to Cindy’s comment, I completely disagree. This documentary has truly opened my eyes. I was raised in a racist family – I’m not proud of it, but it’s true. That’s just how I was raised – when you are young and impressionable you listen to what your parents tell you. And they told me how blacks were taking their jobs, even if they were better qualified. And how affirmative action hurts whites and blacks don’t deserve it. Although these are their words, and not mine, I think you can understand what a lasting impact that can have on somebody. Now out of college, I have formulated my own opinions (granted college seriously opened my eyes as well). Although I still, unfortunately, have negative subconscious thoughts regarding African-Americans, and often have to catch myself from thinking certain things. This documentary has really opened my eyes and helped to change my belief system. Thank-you, CNN, for giving us such stories such as this one and the many other unbiased documentaries you present.

T. J., your article was well written and heartfelt. I live in Charleston, SC and there is a tremendous racial divide in this town, as there has been for centuries. Stereotypes, fears, and prejudicial lessons tought by parents, generation after generation, continue to split this town.

I was raised by intelligent loving parents in Columbia, MD. Among the many valued lessons taught by my parents was that of treating everyone fairly, without judgement. That being said, African Americans must grab the bull by the horns, like you, to escape the bonds of racial inequality and economic troubles. Success is an undeniable attribute!

Your spends too much time on your feelings regarding the perceptions of others. You ARE a role model! Focus on broadcasting your success, not enlightening the ignorant. Remember that old saying about teaching an old dog new tricks… Yep, it’s much more effective teaching the young pups.

Good point Abfab. I think racism is a two way street. We all experience it from other races, genders, and sometimes in our own families. I am a firm believer in the golden rule [treat others the way you want to be treated]. Also, I might add, treat me the way that God instructs you to treat me, which is to love me. Again, God has a way of fixing things, and making your enemies your footstool. As a result, we’re on the verge of having an African American president. I know this is going to create a worldwind for the racists folks in america. Go Obama!

This was an interesting piece of journalism. I find the bantering from the posters even more interesting. This is what the article stated:

“One day a man came over to me as I was washing my truck and said, “Man, I just gotta know. What do you guys do to have nice cars like that?”

What most posters assume is that the man who asked the question was WHITE, but the writer never states that.

Perhaps the moral to this story isn’t within the article itself, rather in the reaction from the posters. The fact you assume the man asking the question is white shows the true problem within America. Even the black posters to this article have shown their own prejudice (racism?) by jumping to the conclusion the man was white.

Maybe the real question is why all black guys need 22″ rims, let alone those that truly have the disposable income to afford such luxuries without sacrificing their children’s college savings.

I agree that people are biased simply based on what they don’t know. When my husband and I moved into our home in a suburb of Minneapolis we were asked by our neighbors how we could afford to live in that neighborhood. We are an interracial couple. We just laughed at the ignorance and stated, through hard work like everyone else that lives here. But since he was the only black man in the neighborhood they had supposedly never had the opportunity to talk to someone of color and see that he was just like them, acheiving the American Dream, not the white dream or the black dream of owning your own home through hard work.
Why is it that The United States of America is the only country that breaks people down by color. I am Canadian and we do not say Black Canadian or White Canadian…. we are just Canadian. Why can’t we just be Americans in this country? I know history plays a part but labels are so divisive.

I find it amusing how being “Black in America” is the hot topic of the moment for CNN. When will the Asian, Latino, American Indian, Middle Eastern, etc. segments be running? Or Am I to believe that there are only 2 races in the United States.

Unfortunately, my mother is white and my father is black. I say “unfortunately” because the is still a racial divide in the U.S. that you have to be put in the “white” box or the “black” box, otherwise you are a “traitor” to both. Never mind the fact that the Hispanic community is fast becoming a large part of the U.S. and mixed races with outnumber every other race soon enough.

While I am half-black & half-white, I am still not a part of either race. If you judged me by my complexion, you won’t think I was half-white (my mother is Italian), but I am. My parents faced a lot of hardship from not only their family, but also some of their friends when they first began dating (from both races).

My father’s mother (my grandmother) once told me the prospect of her son having a child with a white woman disgusted her. Thankfully, she realized that I was going to be here first male grandchild, so that passed. I do agree that being a minority is uncomfortable, but life is not perfect.

You’re kidding me. This is an issue? I have asked several times if I was Dave Grohl… and if I played in a band.

This crap and over sensitivity is the reason we have problems.

Thank TJ for exposing something that I’ve faced as a black man in living in the USA. I’m an immigrant from Africa and any objective standard, I’ve DONE WELL!!! Even after living through a brutal civil war in my home country and being out of school for more than two years, I came to the USA and graduated within the Top 5% of my class (undergraduate). I also hold a graduate degree and hoping to start PH.D work next year. With all of that, people still think I went to school on a football schalorship. No people, it was an academic shalorship.

This is exactly why I’m support Sen. Obama. For many in this country, blacks (especially black men) could not be seen as presidential material. Yes, a senator, a representative, a department secretary but never THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. I hope that Obama’s candidacy will remove that last barrier. Thank you!

Ignorance is found in a lot of places. But, it is not everywhere. Abfab makes a great point. Make them rethink what they just said.

Publishing a blog, where millions of readers take away the belief that this man was an ignorant rascist or racially bias, and you were a victim, solves little to nothing. We must unite and not compare ourselves to others to truly begin to annialate any form of negativism.

I understand TJ’s comments. I get the basketball and football comments as well. I think some White people believe that’s the only way out for Blacks. I think that’s partly because they understand that many Blacks don’t have access to the same quality education as many whites, particularily as it relates to private schools.

I have a Ph.D. and teach at a local university part-time and work full-time as a financial advisor. I’ve had White students come up to me in class and admit that when they read my bio prior to seeing me, they automatically assumed I was White. It doesn’t even bother me anymore. All I can say is, “Thanks be to God for Salvation”. I have to pray daily that I walk in love. And I have learned to think before I speak because I believe I wouldn’t be where I am if I spoke the first thing that comes to mind.

AES

Unfortunately it goes both ways in this day and age. I’m 35 and Caucasian and I get the “Your white and must have money” or the “your white and get all the breaks in life”……Total BS. It comes from every racial group, not one is immune to being Ignorant. I live in D-bar California, and If on the telephone, everyone assumes I am rich, or ASIAN. Unfortunately people pick up this stereotyping/profiling by being educated by the internet and television! Thankfully I was raised and educated by responsible parents in a diverse neighborhood so I don’t even bother with people that are too stupid to think before they speak…

I believe everyone stereotypes to a certain extent. I have nothing against a black male driving around a nice car. What does get to me is when you see a person (black, white, hispanic, etc.) driving around a $75,000+ car windows down wearing gold teeth and blasting loud rap music with the f-word in every other sentence. When I see that, I just think to myself… “yup, he’s a drug dealer.” Especially, even here in Miami when the median household income should only be able to afford a Corolla.

The bias FROM black America is voting for Obama just because he is black. Blacks dont look at the issues or his experience. If Colin Powell ran for President on the Republican Ticket would 90 percent of blacks vote for him????

What I don’t get is that the guy who came up to TJ asking, what he did that allowed him to drive a vehicle like that, didn’t say, “What does a BLACK man have to do to drive a vehicle like that?” he simply asked what T.J. Holmes did? Why does everything have to be about race? I hate to say it, but sometimes black people are the most racist people I know. They always assume other people look negatively at them because of something like the type of vehicle they drive.

T.J. Holmes could be a football player or even a basketball player! These are legitimate questions and curiosities…..Just because I’m tall and beautiful doesn’t mean I’m a model, but I sure get asked if I am, alot. In fact, I am a college educated woman with a degree.

TJ, first and foremost HUGE FAN! Great article. Wish you were still in the Bay Area but super proud of you for doing so well. I too get a shock and aww from my Ivey League Friends as they try on a daily basis to ‘count my money’. Less now then before, but my cirlce is now made up of high powered consultants and MBA’s etc. and by association they all think that I also share those accolades. Of my closest friends (all of whom went to either Harvard, US Berkeley, or MIT) I make more than all of them individually and when I met them they thought I had to be doing a little something on the side because there is no way with no degree can i have a job that makes more than them. Even though I work for a billion dollar company and on the Executive Floor, there was no way, in their mind, at that time, that an African American with no degree ( ijust received my Associates) could possibly be doing this well. It was just unheard of in their experience. Persons who hear about me also cannot believe it as I also own property in other states. They went so far as to look it up on the internet because they did not believe it to be true. It is interesting that they thought that I would make it up to fit in when in fact I was trying to talk them out of wasting money on things that do not provide a positive return. Now we are in a different place and they are in a position to champion the ignorance of stereotypes and presumptions of measures/steps for success. A little long winded and slightly off the beaten path but all of this to say I am pleased that someone young and on a large scale has the opportunity to hilight these inequities in thought about different racial groups. Stay up bruh. Stay incredibly hot as well! Best always!

I agree with you 100%. I am a professional black woman, working in a 98% white environment. When I am not at work, dressed up, I want to be able to wear whatever I want to wear and listen to (music wise) what I want to listen to, as loud as I can, lol. However, often, time than not, I have to reframe because I do not want to be stereotyped myself, by being a football player, drug dealer, or rappers girl! Some days I truly do not care, but most I do.

It’s hard period to have succeeded in life and feel like you still have to do the 150% to prove that you are equal to individuals that are truly not equal to you (most only have a high school education themselves, but they still look down their noses at you).

TJ,

This is a honest and well written blog, but honestly, don’t get so bent out of shape over a man’s question. I’m pretty sure that the question wasn’t in any way asked with a “nasty” spin to it. When you hang on to every little word, its just as damaging to the situation as someone being ignorant.

And besides, driving big stupid flashy tricked out cars just creates attention to yourself. Not to sound nasty, but its your fault you were approached in the first place.

First of all…..YOU are NOT a typical young black man. If you were, your car wash experience would have been much different. Hats off to you and your accomplishments. If only the “majority” of young black would see you as a true role model instead of black athletes and hip hop artist. Its no secret why stereotypical statements surround young black men. You’re in a position to change that. Instead of an editorial of “How I got here, you can do it too”…..or “Problems with the “Hood” “, its more BS about whites preconcieved notions. Color has nothing to do with anything except the FACT that street crime is tied to young black men just as corporate crime is tied to middle age white men.

Life is simple, people make if difficult!

Small Town, Pennsylvania

I praise CNN for it’s Diversity. I can name off the top of my head several CNN non white news casters, TJ, Maria “Solodad” Obrien, Amy Ngyun, Dr. Sonjay Gupta, Ali Belshi, Fredricka Whitfield, Thomas (not sure of his last name), Susan Malvoe (sp)

This is truly a reflection of a serious problem our nation faces. The good news is; there are countless white Americans who neither espouse this view nor accept others who do. Many of us work diligently to dispel these foolish notions and call those to task who articulate them. By speaking up and not reinforcing this type of closed-mindedness through silence, we white-Americans have an opportunity to stand up and be counted. In time, we can reinstate the ideals that made our country great; freedom and equal opportunity for all!

I love all the stereotyping of “white people” in these Black in America pieces. By stating that white people do one thing or another, you are lumping all white people into one group. This is the same thing that you say white people do about black people. Unless you can see that the stereotyping goes both ways, race relations will never change.

I’m Black, male, 6′ 6″, athletic looking, currently 270 pounds, have a bachelors degree in Physics, almost finished with an MBA from Duke University and I don’t play basketball. Just like Mr. Holmes, people, especially whites, are completely stupified, dumbfounded, shocked, and confused to learn that I don’t even like the game. When I tell people that I don’t play sports, they, at first, refuse to believe such a thing’s even possible. I once had two kids run up to me demanding an autorgraph because they swore I was a professional basketball player. I look nothing like any pro ball player. What Black people have to understand is we’re doing this to ourselves. We have a huge hand in creating and perpetuating these stereotypes. We flood into sports. Our athletic prowess is undeniable. However, we don’t flood into business or science. We have to remember that humans are not the most intelligent of creatures as witnessed by some of the comments posted here. What they see is what you get. If we start showing ourselves in a different light and refuse to allow ourselves to be seen any differently, perceptions will change accordingly.

It is so sad to read many of the (white) comments on here. It is obvious that many of them have and will never be in a black persons shoes. It also shoes how ignorant many of them are. I pitty them really. What is holding us all back is the lack of knowledge by the majority whites! If more whites educated themselves on issues that affect other cultures and not their own we would all be in a better place of understanding. T.J I too realize where you are coming from. I am young and educated. At only 22 I had my masters degree and a successful career. Do you think whites took me seriously or saw me as an equal….ha…I don’t think so. It is sad, but this is the reality of the world we live in.

Great story TJ.. I have to add a few comments though just to clarify my personal feelings.

I am unsure as to why this country, and as someone said “The White Media” has to always include color. Why can it not just be “The Media”. Because that is just what it is. There is this Revrand Wright that is spouting off about Obama, Sharpton that spouts off about anything he disagrees with that includes the whites in america.

Yea, there were things that happend years and years ago and also into the 1900’s. We all know about it, and alot of us white people disagree with it. I beleive everyone is equal…

Two quick storys. My folks owned a hair salon, and this salons clients were primarily ethnic. I was standing at the counter ringing someone up, and i was blind sided by the womans Boyfriend with this remark. “Whats a White MF’er like you doing working in a Black salon?” Now how was I suppse to answer that question. My answer was, making a living….. I felt if I said anything else, I would be marked as a “profiler / racist”.. Then he askes me “why do you hate blacks?” Now if I hated blacks, why on earth would I work in an ethnic salon? My answer, because he was aggitating me was “Look buddy, I hate everyone equally, Is there any further questions?” He really didnt have a answer, other then a grumble. But his girl was back in the next week getting a press and curl.

I cannot count on two hands simaller situatiuons i was in..Whites also endure a simaller consiquence for being white. Alot of us are looked down on, because of what happend years ago…..

My answer, get over it. The MEDIA is the cause of all the problems. Just look at the headlines on CNN’s page.

It’s the Media, the education system, and bigoted people like Damian that perpetuate discrimination in this country (and Mexico too).

Damian–are you the Devil? Is this the devil blogging?

Until we all agree that there is imbeded racism, bigotry, and discrimination starting with many politicians and trickling down to the media moguls and other people with old stolen monies–we can begin to cure the ills of this country.

Have a good day!

Why would this man imagine T.J. graduated from college and went on to a successful career?

There are 35, 750,500 African Americans (12.7%) in the US.
7,328,852 African American Men (20% of the above 12.7%) enroll in college.

2,418,521 African American Men (33% of the above 20%) graduate
college.

Which means that only 13.5 % of black men are college graduates, let alone sucessful ones.

So again, with an 86.5% probability that a black man with a nice car did not graduate college to attain it, why is this so racist and hard to imagine on the part of the unassuming, yet insensitive white man?

I’m not putting these numbers up to put a race down, but all the white, tactless, goof-ball did was “say” something that a majority of Americans, of all races, think: “Man, Black guys always have nice cars. How the hell do they afford them when all I hear on the news is that they are underpriviledged and that their employment and education rates are far lagging, as per their own leaders?”

When it is African Americans referencing their own culture, such as “rolling on 22″s,” it is a celebration. When “whitey,” foolish as he may have been for assuming every black man is an athlete, makes the same observation, it is called racism. So while it was stupid of a white man to assume a black man can only be stereotypically sucessful, it’s only marginally better to assume what T.J. wants him to assume, and worthy of the labelling the man a racist. Ironic.

T.J.:

Great story! I’m attorney and like you I wear a dress suit during the work week. On my way to the office one day I stopped for a cup of coffee. After entering the coffee shop a white guy asked me, “what church was I preaching at today.” I took that comment to mean that only black men of the cloth were in a position to wear a dress suit during the work week. After I told him I was an attorney he did not have a comment.

TJ,

First of all the guy came up to you and was being friendly — first sign of not having a racial bias. Secondly, to most guys this is a compliment. I once was asked this when in better shape. Young, athletic, and intelligent looking guys (I include intelligence because professional football players have a higher IQ than the general public) with nice vehicles and of any color in a sports city probably are as likely to have gotten their money from sports as anything else (200+ professional athletes in SanFran, 750,000 people in the population, about 60,000 men aged 22-35, being generous a third look athletic so 20,000 men, so 1% of the athletic young men in SanFran are indeed professional athletes. But, wait, we need to throw in the money factor. In that age group those with quite a bit of money are probably no more than 10% of the young male population) So, that makes it about a 10% chance he was right about your being an athlete. No guy is going to ask a guy if he is a model or the like (maybe includes actors), so that cuts the probability of that question being asked.

Professional athlete was probably the most likely assumption (news anchor would be a far less likely assumption as there are significantly less news anchors of your age as there are athletes in SanFran). I see no problem with his comment. Take it as a compliment and don’t see race as much. Also, is it so bad even if he did notice race-I mean you are black? You recognize this fact, why can’t he.

As long as blacks, asians, latinos, etc. hyphenate their classification (African-American, Asian-American, etc.) there will always be a divide between them and the one’s who call themselves “Am