Many white men find black women extremely attractive. They don’t know how to approach black women very well. They watch black men date white women and well…………what are the black women doing then? Hey black women………………the white guys do like you. It is an ever changing world…………eventually, we will all be a nice shade of brown…………….

Spare me the “poor me, I’m black” routine. If anyone wants to be treated equally, then they can’t say “oh, but I’m different”. It just doesn’t work that way.

I was born in the mid 60s and have never profited from or contributed to racism. Neither have my kids. We work hard for what we have and we refuse to fill out the “race” section of any form. I am sick to death of “black this” and “hispanic that”. If you are a member of a group that is based on race (La Raza, NAACP, etc) then you are by definition a racist. That’s just how it is.

Being “black in America” means nothing to me. I’m just an American.

Soledad’s series on Black in America is superbly done and a commentary long overdue. One of the reasons I am a devoted CNN viewer is because of the ethnic diversity of the anchors and correspondents that CNN employs. In conjunction with Soledad’s series, I think it would be insightful to your viewers to hear from your black correspondents and anchors, Tony Harris, TJ Holmes, Fredricka Whitfield, Joe Johns, Sunny Hostin, Don Lemon and Soledad, on their journey to the top of their profession compared to their caucasian counterparts. Thank you all for your great work!

Lora Barnett
Wakausa, Ks

My question is why are these issues only considered Black issues? I know a lot of white single mothers. I find that when these programs are put on television it makes it seem like only black girls are un-wed mothers. The real reason that there are so many un-wed mothers is not just the fathers fault. These woman are putting themselves into these situations. They chose to blame the man for leaving but never look in the mirror as part of the reason. If you really want to change the outcome you have to change the action. Stop having unprotected sex!! It’s easy!! There are a lot of options of contraceptives out there for both parties to use. Learn to use them!!!! Or better yet wait to have sex at all. Then there is no user error!!!!!

Ouch! That stung and I’m not a woman. There are many black women who find themselves attractive enough, interesting enough and ready for marriage but are living their lives single. I’m interested in seeing the comments that follow here because there were some pretty sharp darts thrown in that piece.

Men have to share in the blame as well. I know it’s easy to find someone willing to settle for the “live in” solution where there is not much commitment outside of household chores and dinner. You’ll only get more if you require and demand more. If the person is not willing to marry, then they are not and you have to make the choice to move on. Many guys also have to let go of that imaginary future (what they may miss by getting married) to see that more often than not, that ‘horizon’ is a mirage. A lot of guys aren’t afraid of marriage or a intelligent wife, they just think they have a life to lead before settling down. They’re following that Mirage. I think a marriage is better started while you’re relatively young because you have the energy to handle IT ALL along with the eventual boundless energy of kids. For the guys that are not interested in marriage, they need to just be honest from the beginning. Now if a guy does that and she still settles, the problem shifts to her and her alone.

I can’t speak for black women because I’m not a black woman but I can only imagine that the frustration of disappointment and after disappoinment has to take its toll…but its the same for men. That is part of relationships that take the energy and persistence. Whether your partner black or of any other race, good decision making and persistence will make it worth it. And if you finally give up, let that be that and don’t complain.

Complicated issue, for sure, but to paint black women with that broad stroke of ‘insecurity’ is wrong.

Eric,

I understand you. What positive and negative legacies does being White in America do you live with?

I agree that we are all Americans but we were all Americans during the 50s and 60s too. I also refuse to fill out the race section of any form because it’s ridiculous. But, why does the form ask the question and what bearing does that information have on anything other than statistics that cause us to have this discussion? If there more of you willing to demonstrate what you feel (not just saying it), this wouldn’t be an issue.

Race in this country has left an ugly stain. The world sees it. We can’t just fix the running toilet and not clean up the mess it left behind. Does that make sense to you.

I’m getting fed up with the victim role being adopted by some blacks today while others deal with life, get ahead, think positively and integrate well. Claiming victimization is just an excuse for failing to get it all together and achieving something in a positive way. Isn’t it about time that everyone be held accountable for their own growth and development?

I really enjoy looking at this show and I can relate to the single mother of five. I do not have five children but I do have three children and I am a single mother who is going back to school to get my AS in Civil Engineering and hope to get my BA in Civil Engineering. But it is hard to maintance a household with one income. But I know at the end of the line I will over come and I will never be tired of “black this and Hispanic that.”

“Black men are intimidated by black women”. I disagree with this statement. I feel that many Black men are not willing to accept the strong Black woman as his equal. Problem number one. Many Black men wish to be the head of the family unit or the controller and when that Black man comes in direct contact with a strong Black woman, he is not prepared and does not have the understanding to allow him to deal with this new found strength in his female partner. Problem number two. The Black man that is able to stand, look at and deal with a strong Black woman as his equal will not be intimidated but rather open to a beautiful, loving and challenging relationship.

This program is great. I have found myself smiling at much of it as I grew up in the 50’s and 60’s and experienced much of what was shown in the program. I think race is an issue we need to openly discuss more often as many Whites have the feeling that all is well and nothing is wrong. Many also feel that open discussion on matters of race are counter productive and serve only to promote ill feelings.

I disagree with this piece. I am a single parent black woman. I married the father of my children but it didn’t work out. I don’t have low self esteem and I am considered middle class. I have been single for about ten years because I have not met another man to marry for various reasons. I am not settling and I am not going to put my head in the sand and give up on remarrying either.

I will agree that there are a lot of woman with low self esteem who will accept being treated badly. We (women) need to pick ourselves up and move on. I cannot speak for men but we (women) need to just keep moving and to be mindful of the type of person we choose to father our children.

This isn’t just about black women, it’s about all women. I think we have a new generation of women who don’t just want the stay at home mom lifestyle. We grow up expecting to go to school, get married young and have children. We’ve learned it to be a part of natural life. But, once we’ve finished college and started our careers, it changes. I don’t think the issue is about low self-esteem. I think its about empowerment. When you have a good job and take care of yourself, you feel strong and independent. You work hard and play hard. Life is good. And, yes you look for someone to share all of that with. But, here’s where the tricky part comes in. We aren’t willing to settle. Why should we, when we don’t need a husband to have a house, a car, a family? We probably have it already. So, the expectations are high. The bar has been raised for men. We won’t settle for second best.. It’s not worth it, when our lives are so good already. Yes, deep down we do want to get married, but when we’ve gotten used to a world of making all our own choices, and have learned from our mistakes along the way, we are not going to jump into a marriage just because we should. So next time you hear a woman say that men are intimidated by her, don’t cringe. Don’t chalk it up to low self-esteem. Understand that it’s probably true. And you’re standing in front of a strong, independent woman who will not settle for anything less than she’s worth. And if men are intimidated, it’s their loss.

I am currently watching the black man special and it made me think of my little neck of the woods. It’s a rural area of New Jersey (yeah I know, rural?). We are pretty much an all white area, but that is changing. The CNN show speaks about a high drop out rate, and it is increasing here. Schools are gently pushing 16 years old out, due to their test scores. Administrators are concerned about poor performers, so they convince the kids to leave school. Many wind up in trouble. Some do receive their GEDs. This is all due to No Child Left.
The other concern I have is the discrimination people receive after they have served their prison time. I have several family members who work for a human services organization that serves people with disabilities. If you have a felony conviction, you can not earn the $9.00 an hour doing something worthwhile. Why? I know that we have concerns of recidivism, but we have all made mistakes. Do we want people judging us for every mistake we have made? I think the more stigma these people have heaped on them, the harder it is to stay on the “straight and narrow”.

Please post this to the nation! CNN, I’ve endured 2 nights of your “Black in America” special and can take no more. Is this what it means to be black in america? Really? My gosh I had no idea? What is the focus, point or aim? Completely pointless. Being black myself, as I would reserve the right to use the n-word, I’d also take the liberty to say this appears to be purely entertainment for whites. I’m quite sure its not intentional but WRECKLESLY irresponsible and thoughtless journalism nevertheless. I had the largest laugh I’ve had in a long time while visiting my mother while this show was on and a WHITE male friend of hers called, and she advised him-”Whatever you do, don’t watch CNN tonight, wouldn’t want you to find out who I REALLY AM.” I’ll continue to watch CNN after this but gosh, was this a joint effort with the New Yorker???

I am struck by the brothers segment of Black in America, Notice the differences in shade of skin color between the brother who is incarcerated and the one who made it as mainstream. I wonder whether the set up of the darker skinned brother is significant in his incarceration, regardless of his guilt or innocence.

the solution for black men & Women is to get that education which is the main tool to belong within. Until we stop women, ladies and teenage girls from delivering “illegitimate Children, then shall the unseen spells of the black race in America be bound and cast away. Until we deliver ourselves from our own iniquities, wickedness, evil, sin, vice, injustice, crime and start to exhibit, show, display, reveal, demonstrate in all fairness and puting in view our goodness worth and value, then will the society be attracted to our importance and meaning as a people.

Ken wrote ” I think race is an issue we need to openly discuss more often as many Whites have the feeling that all is well and nothing is wrong. Many also feel that open discussion on matters of race are counter productive and serve only to promote ill feelings.”

As a white person I don’t feel like there isn’t problems but I do feel as a white person that if we open our mouths and say anything we are considered racist. I hate the double standard!!

i really enjoyed tonight’s black in america series. i missed the live blogging last night and later check it. i have to say i was shocked and disgusted by some of the remarks that some bloggers made. i believe this program was suppose to educate americans in general about being black in america, but some bloggers last night took this issue very racially defensive. and missed the point of these program.

i wish later tonight when Anderson and Soledad are talking maybe they could discuss how this program is suppose to be taken by viewers of different racial backgrounds. for instance like how its just show the african american community in america, as opposed to what some people last night said in which they thought that the program was blaming whites or other race groups for the obsticals of the black community

This special was so out of touch…….NO true positive but more negative propaganda to the white masses that still know nothing about our race……This special was all negative in my eyes……It sure didnt help the black image I tell you that

I think this applies to a lot of women regardless of race who intentionally get pregnant in the hopes the man will marry them and in reality they don’t. Women need to become responsible and quit depending on a man to be a form of income by playing such stupid games.

At first I didn’t like this program, I felt it was created to remind us of our place in the world. But it does show some other sides of the fence. What it did not touch on, like the posts above me have said, is that black women want to be the dominant one and most men do not like that. I’m not saying lay down, but you should be willing to accept the consequences of being so strong willed, black women. I’m not intimidated by a black girl, but you can’t tell me that they are viewed as having an attitude or being crazy. And it’s their fault they come off like that, they were raised that way and refuse to change. My mother thinks the world revolves around her, and for that reason I will not marry a black woman. They make a bad name for themselves.

And being born in the 60’s means nothing except that you are almost 50. You may have turned a blind eye to everything that has happened. Wake up, this program was to show you the other side, not have you and your kids gaff it off again. Race is here, and denouncing its significance does not make it go away, Ken.

I watched both nites the special on CNN and surprisingly there was no kne info imparted to me. I have felt this way for many years and see some of the discriminate issues that plague the black community. Some of the issues must be handled at the federal level such as the injustice in the justice system. It is for all, but not equally metted out. For me the question is not the facts that are out there but just like the economy what are the solutions. If a black man w/ a college degree or even with some college credits still struggles to find a job what is this telling those that get a we are trying to raise up out of poverty ? What are their chances?

I am thankful for attention being brought to the issues that are faced by the black community. I am a 20 year old, female college student from a middle class family and while thankful for that privileged I still struggle with the negative condemnation that comes from the color of my skin. I just hope that this will not only white america’s eyes but black america’s as well that we all need to do better for our future generations of all colors. We need to reach out to our young men and teach what it really means to be a man and show our young women that they are all beautiful but that they have so much more to offer than just being an object.

I’d like to start off by saying we as black people can sometimes be our own worst enemies. yes I do point the finger at white people sometimes because if you really think about it they point the finger at us. I’d like to challenge our young brothers and sisters to better ourselves . Don’t be a victim of the old jim crow mentality that most white people still harbor. I say let’s move forward not for white people but for ourselves. believe me together we can accomplish great things.

I am a young successful educated black woman. I have dreams of getting married and having a family one day. My prospects for a mate are bleek. Black men in my age range are far and few between. Men of other races in my age range look right through me. I have gone to bookstores, coff shops, poetry readings, museums, etc. I’ve traveled to various countries and enjoy the same things people of other races enjoy at my age. Yet, I have not met a “normal” black guy in all my endeavors. I’ve decided to continue my pursuits in life, and if its meant to be, I will meet someone with similar ideals in life. Until then, I will try not to be saddened by the lack of viable prospects I encounter.

I do believe that black women are, by nature, very strong – we love hard, we work hard, we pray hard, etc. Black men may be “intimidated” by black women because they are then required to “step up to the plate.” We push them to new levels that they would normally never dream of. This may be the cause of intimidation. BUT, we will also love them like no other, cherish them like no other, support them like no other woman can. That is what wedo best.

Sad to say, but some of us woman cannot marry our baby daddy. Sex happen, unprotected sex happens and it doesn’t always happen with someone you love // or someone that you may have dated for over 1 year. In my case, my son father and I cannot be in the same room with one-another without arguing. I must say that the tittle of your book sounds nice but sister in most cases it’s not possible.

This was a great topic but one part that was not discussed as one
reason many men are not in their children’s life is because of the
“baby mama drama”. It is real. Many of these mothers use their
children to get back at the fathers because the relationship did
not work out. They don’t care that the kids are the ones being hurt.
Then there is the family court system that don’t make it any better.
A large number of men who pay their child support some who even put themselves in the child support court to keep from having to deal
with these so called baby mamas. The court tries to drain these
men of not just every cent they make but their dignity as well. You can always tell the ones that you know are not even spending the money
on the children anyway. The court does not even take into consideration if the man has another family to take care of. Many of these women have two and three baby daddys. It’s like they keep getting these babys never thinking that they have to be taken care of.

Along with the multitude of factors about black women and just women in general is the complete lack of education and enabling for us to realize that we should be in control of our reproductive and sexual lives. Those rights are slowly being taken away from us and it is a shame that so many people want to be oblivious to that, leaving the major decisions to those that are not in the positions that a lot of women find themselves in.

I also realized something. When we talk about race in this country we forget to talk about culture. The united states is just as synonymous to apple pie as it is to immigration and the cultural mixing that is taking place all over the world. It is important, I feel to look beyond the races into the cultures to find whatever moves you to be whoever you want to be. I think maybe a discussion on that would help those that are frustrated over the discussion of black and white. Not to say that, that discussion warrants frustration.

This was a great series that gives light to one side of the “Black Family Struggle”. Now I would like to see a series on those black families that are successful and children that are being raised to be a productive part of society. Let’s not just show one side of the story!! America needs to see that there are success stories for black families and that we do have many families that are thriving with two parents!

I decided to go outside of my race and honestly haven’t been happier…yes it is not the same dating a man from a different race but however it is very eye opening. Some black men take advantage of black women, especially the young ones and they believe that “Oh no matter how I act or treat her she will still be around.” Guess what my sisters, the men from other races respects, honor, adore, and just absolutely loves us because of our strength and they admire us! Don’t just be a baby mama, we can do so much more. However not all black men are scared of commitment and are no good. I grew up with my father and mother (married for over 30yrs) and they settled because they loved each other. Alot of African Americans are settling with their baby’s father or mother because they feel trapped. Its not going to work out that way, be with him/her because you love them and you want to be there. And what’s with this whole “black men are intimidated by black women?” A woman with an education is a strong woman by her self but a woman with an education together with a man with an education is a strong black woman with a strong black men. Please get this right because we the youth are watching and we are the future.

This whole thing is ridiculous. To say “nothing has really changed for blacks” is one of the most preposterous things i have ever heard! Look at the democratic nominee, Barrack Obama, he has a great chance at holding the most powerful position in the world, a BLACK MAN! And you say that nothing has really changed for black people? Thats absurd. Sure there is still some racism this takes time but it is much less and will continue to become less. Some unfortunate people need to stop trying to get their 15 minutes of fame and let this country grow. They are only contribution to the problem and slowing the process to by eliminate racism by bring race up again.

I believe black women are”single,” primarily for this one reason? A un-willingliness to submit too their black mate!

This is so ridiculous, there hasn’t been anything else on CNN for a week. Why are they doing so much of this? Why don’t they do, Asian in America or Latino in America for a week?

Black in America really did shed some light on the plight of blacks in america today but people don’t understand that there are over a million blacks in prison. that means there are a million Americans stripped of their voting rights. But people don’t see this as an American problem and an institutionalized judicial problem. Change can only happen when this is seen as an American problem. As long as it’s a black problem, the only people that will care will be black.

Thanks Soledad for what you have done here. This was well done and very informative. I hope it will ignite people to help find the solutions to change the way it is so that our African American children can come out of this cycle and begin a new successful generation of African American.

I as a single mother, (not by choice ) of two young black man,truly believe that the understanding of fatherhood begins with the black woman, the mother of that son, must begin at a young age telling her son what she expect of him and what fatherhood is all about. Even the hardest of heart men want to please there mother. If the mother does not except her son being a dead beat dad it won’t happen. I agree with D.L. we must be real with are black children life can be tough on them but they can make it. “No Excuses” is what I taught my sons, and they are beating the odds.

I was raised a foster child, but I have a son who will be 18yrs. on Aug. 12, there are sometimes reasons that fathers cannot spend time with his little boy and little girl, sometimes you realize that the mother or the father is not right for each other, like in my case, because I didn’t want to spend my life with my sons mother, she took him and moved to Las Vegas, I pay my child support every month, but I haven’t seen or heard from my son for 10 years, I don’t even have an up to date picture of him, the last picture of him is when he was a baby, she told me if I cannot be with her, then you cannot be with your son. Now tell me how to handle a situation like that, I got court orders and everything. she is allowed to break the law, but let me miss a few payments, and she how fast they have the Marshell’s at my door.

I really enjoyed this piece about Black Men in America and commend CNN for taking the time to dedicate a series of shows to examine issues in the Black community. I especially appreciated how tonight’s show about Brothers showed both sides; on one side you hear about the men who make poor decisions and end up one of the million in jail (this is a CRAZY statistic!) and on the other side you hear about the men who step up and take on the responsibilities of fatherhood and other areas of life. Too often stories about Black America are so depressing and they fail to depict the success stories beyond the entertainment business, fortunately this was not one of those stories.

My question now is, what are the next steps? It’s one thing to tell the story to heighten the awareness of others, it’s another thing to actually use the information to make change. Will CNN work to make change for Blacks in America?

Peace.

i read all comments made and found out that everybody had a point but i believe that a good home is all about the woman,who can bring love into the family while the man instill discilpline into the family.But im so disappointed that many women have chosen the path of single motherhood as a wonderful life rather than get married to their kids father. Another issue is staying in married relationship, most marriages fail bcos people get married for sex and material things. I hope everybody could learn from the documentary and begin to turn a new life.

Tonights show on Black Men was interesting..each segment was a reflecton of my family.During the show several clips of Obama’s slipping lead over Mccain played and it further reminded me that there are still people in this country , that no matter how intelligent he (Obama)is and how good he may be for this country.. will never ever vote for him ..even change parties..Some of my friends and I have discussed that some people dont care how bad things are in this country..as long as Blacks are doing worse.that would explain Bush’s re-election.

Biology -Every man and woman wants to have sex. This drive many many times overwhelms personalities and the abilty (or lack there of) for any two people to live together. It is only led by attraction.
Sociology- once a woman gets pregnant, two people begin to see each other for who they really are and bad traits begin to show. Some of these women are plain mean, with terrible attitudes and it is hard for a man to stay around and be stripped of his manhoood. This is the case many times. Otherwise, every man wants to live with a beautiful, respectful woman. On the other hand there men that are just lazy and will not contribute and a wonderful woman simply decides is not worth living with the headache.
I

I am a young black woman who grew up in a two parent home with a solid support system and, because of these, I will be attending college next year on an academic scholarship. Unforunately, I am much more the exception rather than the rule. Living in an all-black, drug infested neighborhood I have witnesses peers left fatherless (and sometimes motherless) by drugs, gangs, murders and prisons.

I don’t think Black people (for the most part) are complaining, but are instead pointing out the realities of the all to obvious statistics staring us in the face: black people are in a race in which they started a couple centuries late. It’s common knowledge that the children of college graduates are more likely to go to college themselves. And it is also common knowlege that black college graduates of the 50’s and 60’s were not common occurances.

And, as for the whole empowered black women thing, I completely agree with these women who refuse to settle. And, as a recent high school graduate, I can already see the disparity in numbers between educated, empowered, career oriented black men and women. And while I hope that when I am older and looking for someone to share my life with I am able to find him, if I can’t, I won’t be settling for the “next best thing.”

Daisys-Why should we, when we don’t need a husband to have a house, a car, a family?

I was sad to see this statement. Maybe this is why many are not married, since marriage is not about obtaining material things. And when you said “a family” my heart sank. Many women have decided to x men out of the “family” definition. I have to admit, I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where I felt neither valued nor desired. I mean if you are a woman and you are able to do it ALL yourself…then more than likely it’s best you stay by yourself. Many men have expressed (white men included) that in general African American women no longer have purpose for a man in their lives outside of casual dating for sexual gratification, but as soon as the men begin to behave exactly in that manner…well we know the end to that scenario. *sigh*

I am so sick of the black women being blamed for black men abandoning their community. We have to play all roles in the family because black men blame slavery, TV, white women, and Stereotypes for not choosing us. Black women are so downplayed. We are beneath a black man when we expect him to be responsible – like white men – for his family, and we have attitudes when we play mom and dad, and are independant, because black men mistreat us, we are stupid statistics when we love our men, have children with them and they leave us for white women and take care of their children. Black women, get over the black man, because between him, white women, jail, and gay men, they have certainly run over us!

I think the break up of our families during slavery and the racism that exist in the law regarding crack cocain really raped the black family. The debt America owe’s, 40acres and a mule, needs to be paid.

“It’s a peculiar sensation, this double consciousness. The sense of looking at oneself through the eyes of others. One ever feels his twoness- an American, a Negro. Two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings. Two warring ideals alone in one dark body whose dogged strength alone keeps him from being torn asunder”
- W.E.B DuBois.

This is what it means to be black in America-To take accountability for your own success. I cannot feed my son (MJ) an excuse just as I will not live my life under the assumption that anyone else is in control of my destiny. Love me or hate me, I will succeed.
-MJ Sr.

I have watched most of this program but have not seen anyone go back to mid-stream. I worked in low income housing from about 1967 through 1978. I will use one particular project in Washington, D.C (Tyler House). It was nice but had armed guards and steel front doors. There were many black families with both loving fathers and mothers. The economy was bad and jobs were rare. The Welfare program was put into action. Should have been a good thing. But one horrible result was the absolute destruction of the black family unit. Dad is out of a job, kids are hungry. Mom applies for Welfareand is not eligible because Dad is still in the house. Solution: Dad leaves the house and sneaks back in at midnight to see his beloved wife and children. The Welfare Program’s solution was to pull midnight raids, with police, kicking in doors. If a man was found in the house, the poor wife was kicked off the Welfare program (and maybe went to jail for fraud!) and the kids starved. How long do you think it took before the men learned it was better for the family just to disappear! Move that up a generation or two, and it becomes a good thing to desert the family and not play “Daddy”! God help us, we brought this tragedy on oursleves with stupid laws and the even stupider application thereof! Geez! I know drugs, environment and all that has played a major part but in the distruction of the black family but I will believe forever, that the application of the Welfare laws and the zealous enforcement is part of the basis. Thanks for this program. Helen McElroy

I’m going to keep mine short and sweet. The white has been in America 500 years the black man has been in America 400 years “BUT” the black man is 300 years behind the white man on the economic scale. Now tell me why that is, then you will know why blacks in this country are in the condition they are in. How in the HELL do you WHITE PEOPLE expect black people to get ahead when you have always had all the winning cards and most of the time wouldn’t even let us in the game. In my 53 years on this earth I have seen whites do one thing in America towards fairest in economic 20 years of affirmative action. What in the hell is 20 years when the whites have always had affirmative action. Whites have always hired each other simply because they’re WHITE. NOW what I need for me and my people I want my part of the wealth you whites gain off the 200 years my people worked in this country for FREE. I want my grandparents pay check. Now that’s fair, By the way I’m not a dope dealer, pimp or tug I’m a Vietnam Vet and a long haul truck driver. A regular American. Just black

It is true black fathers, 50 years ago, walked around with shot guns to protect their daughters from falling prey to irresponsible young men and possible out of wedlock pregnancies. But, that style of mature father has taken a back seat to all of the other “stuff” going on in black men’s lives that effect them and their communities. What is needed from Our men now, to reclaim themselves as whole human beings. I I think, self-worth (spirituality) is a huge issue, productive long term goals (maturity) is lacking and strong ideals that benefit the whole family (selflessness) are needed.

I have been married 24 years to the same black man. We have 2 children in college and a middle school student. It has not always been easy. There has been a lot of sleepless nights, but we both have a lot of faith, and high expectations of ourselves and our children. We don’t spend a lot of time dwelling on the couldas and shouldas.

We have researched our past, live in the present, and are working towards a comfortable future. Are we disliked – probably, but do we care- NO. We continue on, with heads held high, alert and feeling blessed. I think there are far more African Americans who fit into this category than any other.

The documentary, “Blacks in America,” addresses important issues confronting the black community. I wished only that it had been aired after the presidential election. The pundits asked, “Why is Obama slipping in the polls?” Perhaps, one unintended consequence of airing this special and the endless discussions of the appropriateness or inappropriateness of using the “N” word, in the midst of this historic presidential election, was that it confirmed the voters’ worst fears of the black male. In spite of Obama’s desire to run a campaign that is beyond race, the reality is that, Obama is a black man!

Kids need supervision at all times at least until they are 17 or 18. Too much freedom (away from parents’ “sight” ) contributes to your children getting into trouble and being influenced by the vices of the world. Parenting is a 24/7 JOB

Black in American !!!

I watched it tonight but because I live it the black community this show was nothing new to me. I Love that this program show all sides on the black community. I work in a restaurant where majority of the waiters are white. Because I am Creole ( mulit racial) I was raised not to look at a persons skin but how they carried themselves. It shocked me when I realized that majority of the white people that work at my job think that all Blacks act alike. That we are all thugs and people feeding off of the system. I blame the media on this image, we are always portrayed in a negative way , as if we never do any good. Yes we do our share of bad but what race doesn’t ? I hope that people watch this series and see that we are more than what the media portrays. I also pray that we as a people we watch this, and see that we can be more than what we are. We need to know that no matter what race you are nothing worth having comes easy. It takes hard work to succeed and its takes harder work to keep succeeding .

I believe that America is design to keep the black families in poverty. I think we are charged higher interest rates on loans and auto insurance and giving the lower paying jobs. Trying to rasie a family in poverty causes a problem within the household in itself. The problems i seen on CNN dont surpise me. Trying to save a dollar out of fifthteen cents is a hard thing to do. I’ve own a business and worked a full time job at the same time. I have goals and drive within myself to want to do better. Im sure a lot of black people do, but when the opportunity to get a better job, pay lower rates on loans and get a better education is somehow kept to a certain level by, for lack of better words “White America” how can you stay above water. By any means necessary, thats how. So yes there a lot of black men in prison for selling drugs. When asked why, you’ll probably get the same answer, I needed the money, some to feed their family, some just to have the cash, but one thing for sure it was all done just to have a better way of life. So to CNN thumbs down on your program. Impress me by showing a program that shows how blacks are denied for loans, charged higher insurance in their neighborhoods, schools having lesser programs than the white schools. Tell me why people can come here from other countries and get business loans, but people who lived here all their life got to jump thru hoops to get a better way of life. The best time in America for black people, sad to say, was when 911 happen. Black people were not the center of attention by the police then. But once again now that that has subsided we are once again the focus point of something or someone doing wrong. Until we can bring equality to our way of life for all Americans the struggle will continue. I just pray that I can over come the obsticles that I face from “White America” when I try to make a better living for me and my family.

It is very sad to face the hard truth about the situation of black men in America. I think that no matter how much we talk about the situation it will never change if African Americans do not wake up and take more consciousness in their daily life acts. most black people paint a bad image of themselves and of the whole black community. Whenever i see my brothers shagging their pants and acting like gangsters, watching only rap, hip hop, sport shows or talking only about it i think there is a big psychological problem. Why is it like that? i have lived in a 100% black community for many years and i very rarely see black people acting in this way. irresponsibility and gangstery are not black identification. Brothers and sisters we gotta stand up and change this image for us and for the new coming generations. We cannot keep repeating the same cycle and cannot keep listing the same economic reasons as an explanation to this behavior. We have to be conscious about who we are and what we are able to do. I hate seeing those TV images of black incarceration, vandalism, irresponsibility. Let us be responsible fathers and mothers, responsible sisters and brothers and be contributive to the development of our communities and of people around the world. PEACE AND LOVE!!!!

To Kent from Kewanee,
Show genuine interest. Get to know a person. Black women aren’t as “hard” as we are made out to be.
This is a discussion that is long over due in America. I think it is interesting and should have been used as a community discussion forum.
I am sending my youngest child off to college this year. I have always told him a Black man with a high school diploma is like a white man with a GED, A Black man with a Bachelors is like a white man with an associates, so he’d better go for the whole enchilada and get his Phd.

The pathology that Black America is going through is not very different from any other “unwanted” American immigrant story. Ours begin later because our freedom in America did not truly begin until the 60’s. Although we won’t be here in 100 years to see the out come I think eventually things will finally become equal.

We just have to keep fighting and truly begin to go back to the values that served us well in the past.

As black women we do our sons a tremendous disservice by not allowing the fathers to be the primary custodian around age 9/10 after a divorce or seperation. Instead we continue to try to raise a “man child” with no concept of what it is to be a “man” and in some cases its only because we have done so little with our own lives that we cant afford to live without the child support.

i agree with d.l. hughley.i have 2 sons and i fear for them.black male in america are treated unjustly.i do teach my sons just about the same thing just for that same reason.they are in stores and they are being watched. i never forget we were shopping in a major department store,i was in the womens dept. my son in the mens dept,he came looking for me said every corner he turned the store clerk followed him,so we went together back in the mens dept,she saw he was with me and turned away,i left the clothes i was going to purchase on the counter and walked out.i do drive a luxury vehicle and forever being followed,followed to close to my job i was on my way to work.

Being Black in America is the tip of the iceberg. America, all is not well! This documentary was designed to let you hear directly how (many) Black people feel and how they cope; then you don’t have to say what you “think”. They have told you how it IS
Flip the script- If white people were placed in the positions that many Black people are put in, they could not survive. When was the last time you were the ONLY white person in the room, in the meeting, in the office?; Stopped by a policeman just because; followed around a store like you are expected to steal somehing… Many whites will never experience this. Many Black people/children have and will.The point of the documentary- empathy NOT sympathy.

I have one word for all you black people out there who are holding on the sorry excuse of salvery and racism…ACCOUNTIBILITY.

The day my son starts eating “The White Man Won’t Let Me” for dinner is the day I will depend on that excuse.

The fact of the matter is we are responsible for our own destiny. We as fathers must provide money, time and love to our wives and children and teach them how to overcome obstacles by being a model ourselves.

I swear, if i hear another sorry man, white or black, talk about how they take care of their child by sending money, food or diapers without spending time, affection, patience, love and guidance …

bottom line…if your father wasn’t there, if you are a victim of racism, if the white man invented AIDS, put crack in the hood, raped our women,killed Tupac, Marvin Gaye and MLK, if the rappers are saying “N”, “B”, and “H”, if the system was designed for us to fail, if we are crabs in a barrel, if we don’t support eachother, if we think that someone will try to take Obama out if elected, if WHATEVER happens …..that is still not an excuse to fail.
Believe it or not, FAILURE IS A CHOICE

Kelvin,

That’s just being lazy and you should be ashamed of yourself. If you didn’t do the work yourself why should you reap the benifit… just because your people did the work? Man, Hush.
That’s the problem. We aren’t owed any thing but a name, food and shelter until we are of age, and a lesson of the language. We are men, and men make it happen.

Okay i happen to be white and work in customer service. If anyone whines when they aren’t being treated right or thinks they deserve special treatment it is white people or foreigners from middle eastern or asian countries. I happen to be married to a black man for over 15 years now, the majority of black people we associate with or i talk to in my work are thankful and gracious for anything they do get, probably surprised anything comes to them easy after all the generations of being done wrong.
I fail to understand why anyone black would be embarassed anytime white folks get to be reminded of what this country’s history is. Shooing it under the rug doesn’t make it go away. I have personally been in experiences where someone thought just because black people were involved that we were up to no good. I think specials like this are needed, hopefully everytime one does, someone sees theirselves and changes for the better. I have 4 children with my husband and although they are half white we raise them as being black because that is how they will be treated by the majority. I have no problem with it, it’s a fact. However, I dispise anyone that looks down upon them because they are black without even attempting to get to know what wonderful human beings they are.
I also think it is great in this election year that a lot of people are having to really examine the way they think and believe as opposed to just acting like they are cool with everything. The real truth is being exposed everywhere. Come on sisters and brothers of all colors, lets wake up and really love one another! We can’t solve this countries problems until we do all just get along!

As a black female I have to admit Ms. Reid’s comments hurt. I thought does she really think the problem with black families is all the black women’s fault? I don’t think it is, but neither is it all the black man’s fault. Whenever I listen to a discussion about the black family all I hear is the “blame game”. Blame the black women for being strong and independent. Blame the black man for having pride and frustration over his desire to provide for his family. Of course that is not how people say it. It usually sounds more like this: black women are cold, too independent, they don’t need a man. Black men are scared of commitment and do not take care of their responsibilities. I thoroughly enjoyed the Black in America presentation, but as always after viewing a program like this or having a great discussion on race I feel empty. I want to know, what’s next? We have identified that something (several things actually) is wrong but what is the solution? Is pointing a finger and placing blame really the way to finding a solution? I think a problem can be analyzed without making any person feel that they are lacking. I am not about sparing feelings, but I am about motivating people to take action and I don’t think that is done by telling someone, whatever their race, that they have major faults. This does not empower people. Also it is not true. People are not bad they make bad decisions. Black males and females alike have suffered through a system that has already made them feel that some people will not view them as equals. They have been made to feel that they are bad. So when a black female sits here and rips apart other black females under the guise of solving the problem with black families, again I am hurt. I ask that blacks stop pointing fingers, at each other. Stop pointing fingers at white people. To be quite honest with you I think the majority of white people could care less Race is not a problem for them.. Read some of the comments that have already been posted here. I do not believe the majority of white or other non black people are sitting around at the kitchen table talking about us and our problems. So really black people, stop talking about the others when trying to solve our problems. Yes there is racism and yes it has kept us down but you know what? That has been the case since the inception of the U.S. so how long are we going to use this as an excuse? Black people love one another. Black men be there for your women. Black women be there for your man. Most importantly we all need to be there for the children that are being born in this world. Ideally that should be in the covenant of marriage but realistically that may not be the case. A lack of wedding vows does not mean parenting ends. Rebuild the black family and that will rebuild our communities. Once we have stable communities a lot of the problems addressed in the special will naturally cease to exist.

I think you provided one of the few solutions of this entire series. Thanks and keep up the good work!

I also noticed something and it could just be my imagination, but it seems like many of the profiles of black people who are portrayed as successfull during this program: the marketing brother, the economist, the assistant superintedent, Dr. Dyson and Soledad herself are bright skinned. I know we should be past distinctions in our own hues, that played out in the 80’s & 90’s but has anyone else noticed that subtle point? Is this just my imagination, think about it and please reflect.

Also, I would have loved to see more solutions. This seemed to be a program less for black people and more about black people. As if we were being explained to white people. If that was the objective that’s fine, but only the “Hip Hop School”, “Marry your Baby Daddy” and the “Pay Kids to go to School” segments seemed to offer solutions. That’s the problem with having a conversation outside the community, we spend more time explaning a lot of well known nuiances instead of moving forward.

I hear the comment about Mr. Anthony being afraid around cops even with him being a former Marine and never in trouble. I am not black and am female and I too am afraid of being stopped and wonder what cops will make of any situation. I don’t think you have to be a black male to be afraid but I can see where it would be a problem. Heaven help you if you decide to run. I have watched that on TV and see there is a problem but then again, the black man seems to create a lot of that on himself by acting guilty and being fearful.

What a dated, disappointing and disheartening series! Fifteen minutes into part one (Black Women), I let my tape keep running but turned my television off. Last night I sat through part two (Black men), and was so fed up at the program’s end I had to get online to read feedback from other viewers.

As an African-American educator, I am curious as to exactly what purpose this programming served. Your experts provided little in the way of substantial information for viewers who know little about black people historically or even in their day to day lives, save for what is
fed to them on “the news.”

This program did absolutely nothing to advance our understanding of
what needs to happen in this nation regarding race and economics. For far too long, black Americans have been set up to seem pathological. “They just can’t seem to get it together….” Your series only perpetuated this sentiment. Given the state of our nation, there is a growing understanding for more and more Americans of every stripe as to what it means to be economically “on the outside looking in.”

“Black in America,” the series : a painful waste of our very precious time.

First off this is not about claiming to be a victim. This is the experience that blacks have in this country. I’m so fustrated when others can’t see that the experience that they have in America may not be what others are experiencing. It is not fair that black people with college degrees have an equal chance at a job as a white felon. People like Eric are introducing the new racism. The new racism is basically when others outside of the black community act like there isn’t a problem. If I’m in the car with a bank robber and don’t say anything, I’m an accessory to that crime. “Others” who see the injustice and pretend there is not a problem is an accessory to racism.

As far as any white person claiming not to have benefitted from racism you have. It’s a theory called the White Privilage and the Black Tax. Look it up in your search engine.

As far as wearing condoms I agree with it. However if you don’t and a child is created both the mother and the father have to own up to that responsibility. BOTH!!!

I have read a lot of comments about black women not being submissive and I assume that these comments are coming from those who are in the church. Well there is a type of man that a woman, any woman is suppossed to be submissive to. He must be Godly, he must have a vision, he must not use a woman’s body for his own satisfaction and he has to consider her input and emotions. In order to get the submissive woman the man has to be submissive to a higher authority or out of spiritual context “Man up” Black women have to become strong and independent because we can’t lean on you. If you want us to play our role play yours.

And yes I’m Black, single, and educated

I would like to thank Soledad O’Brian for having the courage and the desire to present…Black in America to the world. I was very excited to watch both nights of this two part documentary,and especially eager to see last night’s show that focused on the Black Woman. I am one of those women as Angela Burt-Murray of Essence magazine described that has checked off all the boxes in life in terms of higher education, good job, homeowner, etc. ,but not able to check the box for mate/companionship. Unfortunately, when I think about most black men today, the one word than keeps coming to my mind is “disappointment”. Everyone is quick to say, “there are still some good Black men out there today”,but the reality is there are not enough to go around for all the available Black women and they have become like a rare commodity and they know it too. I think it hurts even worse when we see in part 2 of the show tonight the three sons living a middle class life in the suburbs and two of the sons are in relationships with White women. As pointed out last night, 70% of Black women in this country are single and even close to 50% will never be married. It feels as if some Black men think Black women are fit to be Baby Mommas, but White women are worthy of marriage and more. I realize more than anything now after watching this documentary that I’m a statistic, but not because I made bad choices.

Question: Why are some successful/well-rounded Black men not interested in sharing lives with successful/well-rounded Black women?

I think the solution for Black women today is to really start considering men from other cultures as partners and keep moving on with life.

I think that alot of black women are settling for what they have instead of wanting more, for instince the old saying,(Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?) and I think that a lot of black have not been education their self-worth. Young black women for example would rather be with a thug or someone is not treating them right because that’s all they know or were brought up seeing in their house. Today’s educated women or stuck on the idea that they intemidate men and that is not the case. If you look at a educated men he dosen’t say that women are intemidated by his intellect. I think that educated women are looking for a reflection of themselves instead of a help mate.

I’m a high school graduate, served 20yrs in U.S. Navy. I’m also disabled, but I also work for Mortgage Broker, but also I have established a homebase business. So, saying that we can’t overcome is not true. But the system has help prevent us(blacks) from trying to achieve something. I’m also a father, but married with 2 step children, and I provide for all, but I’m not living in the same state as my son. I’m in the process of trying to move back home. My daughter will be attending Art Institute of Atlanta, GA. My eldest son is 21yrs of age with his first child, my granddaughter. But I have encouraged him to get enrolled back to college to finish his education. Even though its hard, it still comes down to a choice for most of us, but even with making bad decisions, then we must bear the responsibilities for our actions. But justice must be equal and it isn’t.

I am a nineteen year old mixed male that has an eagle scout in college both my parents are teachers that work in lower income dallas I went to suburb schools and lived in the suburbs. I tried to figure out my place in african american society I tried being the thug and It and the justice system tried to give me a full 5 yr sentence on which was an accident while the officer was putting me in the car for assualt on a police felony while I wanted to wait for my parents, I tried to be the “good brother” and landed me ridcule and scorn and me getting jumped by african americans. So how is any person suppose to be in there right mind if you have two standards. Thats why there are two different black americans.

So…I’m genetically pre-disposed to more life-threatening illnesses than my white counterpart, I can’t get a good-paying job despite having a degree, we are unfairly targeted by the justice system that sees fit to keep us incarcerated -I’m starting to think the only thing we ever had to our advantage is that stupid myth about our endowments. Man, it sucks to be a black man in America in 2008!

Bravo Soledad!

The documentary was enlightening to say the least. As for as dating, I believe everyone is entitled to date or love whomever they choose but personally I don’t care for the skin color- if a woman or a man does not have a sense of completeness within her/him and awaits for another individual to complete her/him then that kind of relationship is and will always be rooted on the wrong foundation. You cannot offer anything that you don’t have e.g. You cannot love if you don’t have love within and cannot respect another individual if you don’t respect yourself first regardless color/ethnicity.

So if a woman or a man is successful (success is subjective of course), I am pretty sure the two would have a lot in common and can perhaps build a more balanced life together since each appreciation and understands what it takes to earn that status. I think we often forget and fail to recognize that male and female are created to depend on each other but it thus become hard to depend on someone who is inadequate or has zero to offer.

I enjoyed the special even though it was depressing at times, but I enjoyed that fact that it displayed both sides of the spectrum. It all boils down to that it’s hard being black in America, but we have to strategize and equip ourselves to maintain, as well as train our children to look ahead. I am a single mother of a twenty year old daughter. When I had her, I thought about my immediate surroundings and my understanding of the world from the prospective of a naive 19 year old. But as a grown woman, with life experience, if I had the chance to do it again, I would have waited until I had more knowledge and resources to enhance her prospects for a better life. My question is…how do we address this issue? How do we reach our children and instill in them that education is a tool that will lead them to a better life? How do we give our daughters the insight that the nerd will prove to be the better choice 15 years down the line and how do we teach our young brothas that integrity, self respect and education are not the tools of suckas, but of great men? I’m not implying that all youth are lost, but how do we turn this around after seeing the staggering statistics. It’s up to us…

Kimsonj,

As a black woman that has raised a child, bought a home and holds a good job, I do need a man and hold heartedly feel that it is most beneficial for all involved that a loving mother and father raise their children. So don’t feel discouraged brotha because there are sistas that acknowledge the Father’s desire for us to be a helpmate to our husband. In the interim, we must move on and strive, but we can’t do it ALL by ourselves and neither can you. We have to learn to bridge the gap.

“Black in America” tells us nothing new, just the same old woe is me theme that causes the black youth to validate the chips they carry on their shoulders and causes the racial gulf to be wider. Mrs. Obama’s comments is a case in point. What about the other races that make up our country? Do they want 40 acres and a mule too?

I’m a Black Man with a mixed child and it’s hard. I live in Virginia and I have a great job. I have almost lost everything because I have a child by a white women. I have been lock up for thing that most people would never go to jail for like not giving up my new address in a timely matter. and that’s wouldn’t have happen to a white man but this in fairfax county. I’m not even alound to talk in this judges courtroom but my white ex is. I make sure my child support is paid and I try to spend as much time as I can with my son but cause I’m black the system tries to stop that. I never seen things black and white until I had a child by a white women and we ended up in court.

Lucy –

I believe what you stated is more of a woman issue than a black issue. The women that I know tend to be strong, in many aspects of life; family, faith, work, community, education…. I think part of the problem is you’re looking for a “black” man. Look for a “man” and don’t care what the color of his skin is. Isn’t that what you want for a man? A real “man” wouldn’t or shouldn’t care about the color of your skin. Stay away from the over grown boys – there are many in all races – and find yourself a “MAN.” And if you can’t, be happy with yourself. (Sounds like you already are.)

On any given day, if you hang out at any TABLE or KIOSK selling OBAMA memorabilia (T-Shirts, Posters, etc.), the most common protest against OBAMA is, “BLACK issues are not getting enough MEDIA coverage.” THIS IS WHY I WASN’T SURPRISED BY THE HECKLERS LAST WEEK. In fact, months before Jessie Jackson’s HOT-Mic comments and the ‘Hecklers’ last week, I started to ask, “Why is it that every time the MEDIA released images of OBAMA, he was always standing in the mist of a predominately ‘White’ audience.” This is why BLACK Folks are asking, “Why is it that we only see ‘White’ Folks in key positions such as VEEP Selection Committee, VEEP Short List, and overseeing the Campaign Headquarters location.” Where are all the qualified BLACKS Folks? This is why OBAMA should show NO sign of animosity for Jessie Jackson or the ‘Hecklers’ comments. This also why BLACKS are asking, “Is the so-called White ‘Images’ a reflection of OBAMA’S selection for his Administration?” Even though I had never considered CLINTON my FIRST Black President, I have a lot of respect for him for not being afraid to identify with BLACK people. Will the GROUP Photo of OBAMA’S Administration be similar to CLINTON Administration?” The Photo was a montage of people from all tongues and tribes. This is why I do not believe that CLINTON is a RACIST. The Photo speaks for itself. To BLACK Folks, “A predominately ‘WHITE’ cabinet is not symbolic of CHANGE.” I do understand that maybe OBAMA’S campaign strategy is to target the DOMINANT (White) culture. However, IS IT REALLY A GOOD THING TO REJECT THE VOTERS OF ONE GROUP IN ORDER TO GAIN THE RESPECT AND APPROVAL OF ANOTHER? I do not believe that the BLACK vote is irrelevant? In the 1980’s, I remember watching a documentary that spoke on the spending POWER of the BLACK dollar in America. At that time, it was almost $300,000,000. It is estimated that by 2010, America’s Black BUYING power will be over the TRILLION dollar mark. Which Country wouldn’t welcome a TRILLION dollar boost to its ECONOMY!

First, as a black man, I must address the male perspective of this disabled relationship. I cannot tell you how many black men I’ve talked with over the years who have consistently stated the reason they don’t marry black women is because the women “like to argue too much”; “their personalities are too strong”; “I already have a mama”. My response is always the same: those attributes are what make black women special and desirable! Their strength combined with power and beauty is what the black woman is all about. And we, as black men, need to grow a pair and embrace the gift of the black woman.

Now, for the black woman. A great deal of us have you let you down. A majority of us certainly needs to grow a pair and truly be a MAN! But, MaryAnn is absolutely correct. Communication is key. You have to talk “with” us, not “too” us. Lower that impenetrable veil and tell us how you really feel; what ’sends you’; what makes you run and hide; what fills you with joy. In turn, we will demonstrate that we truly understand and appreciate you as a strong, intelligent, black woman, but as your equal partner and nothing less. Now, if some knuckle-head is perpetrating in a man’s body, kick him to the curb. You are far more worthy than likes of him. However, please know we are out here… quietly searching for you.

Everyone says they want to be treated as equals. Then they come up with all kind of reasons, for wanting special treatment.

The Government needs to come clean and Make everyone equal

Write all laws for everyone

Remove special interest and make all equal.

Pull the defining terms out of the government, bills and laws. Write them only each citizen.

Each persons needs to do their part, as the government lose the terms, Lose the hyphenated American. All Be American citizens.

Start the wheels in motion. Get the Gears moving in the direction they should be.

Just do it.

Other wise people are going to keep coming up with excuses to use.
Or use the same ones. It should have been long past this stage already.

Only way to do it is Just do it.

Make people responsible for their lives, the choices they make in their lives. Everyone has the same opportunities as the next guy right now, they just do not want to do the work, many want and expect everything handed to them, and many use the same old excuse.

Just Do it!

I dont think blackmen are intimidated i feel blackmen are tired of being critisized by black woman, regardless of a blackmans state of being ive seen blackwoman alienate themselves from blackmen and the ones doing it the most are the successful black women, understood a blackman should try at every venture to care for his children and home and with the world as is, a percentage of black get caught up in doing anything neccesary to get money (not allways good)
But of course we’ve seen and talked about black women and the advances theyve made seemingly surpassing black men in the way of having more successful single black women then successful single black men

arizona ron from tucson