“How do you get those letters to appear on the screen?”

What the hell is that?

I never realized you could look up so much porn.

John McCain checks the TSA website to see if he’s on the terrorist list.

Hold on a second…..it says that if you click right here, you can get a free iPhone!

Send Lou Dobbs, my plans to keep the boarders safe.

Is Lou picking out the winners? (Apparently Lou Dobbs is the route to take if you want to win. There were two winners this month dealing with Lou Dobbs, there’s bound to be a third. MMMMMMM)

You can do it John! You can do it! Press the SEND button!

EJ - Cincinnati, oh

Tell me again how this email thingermajigger works?

EJ - Cincinnati, OH

Put the red jack on the black queen.

John McCain realizes for sure that he McCan’t work a computer.

“Google Me”

John McCain learns how to search the google for juicy tidbits about Senator Obama.

EJ - Cincinnati, OH

“If Al Gore invented this and he lost in 2000, how will learning it get me elected in 2008?”

Oh great! From the looks of this ultrasound, it looks like Brangelina is knocked up again!! This time with triplets!

Debbie O’Brien
Scottsdale, Az

“Oh, so this one of those computers thingys, huh?”

“InBev bought Budweiser?….CINDY!!”

Take a few wrinkles away, darken the hair, give me a tan and give me arms like Anserson.

“Why would Obama send us an e-mail with a Rick Astley song? It is pretty catchy.”

John McCain nearly throws his back out after sending his first email.

EJ - Cincinnati, OH

I had one of these when I was a kid…they were called “etch-a-sketches” back then.
Winnipeg, Canada

McCain’s inpersonation of Alfred Hitchcock, trying to delegate his next spooky move…

So this “thing” I’m looking at is called a computer?

Senator, it’s pronounced blog not blug.

No senator, you can’t talk to the computer like on Star Trek.

McCain takes a break from campaigning to watch The Google.

“Is This What Al Gore Created?”

“Is that MY name on the Terrorist Watch List?!?”

Timothy Nelson
Hopkins, Minnesota

That’s her detective, she goes by Michele Obama, put here on all the terrorist list in the airports………………………. Eeeeeexcellent.

I’m being outbid on “Economics for Dummies”! Quick, raise my bid to $10!

John McCain is aware of the internet.

So… this is e-mail, huh. How does it work?

“What the hell is a JibJab?”

“E-mail” you say? How would you get a letter into this thing?!

Seems like everyone has one of these computer machines!

Can you throw in a virus that will say. “Vote McCain” on every ones computer and make it subliminal?

How many people does it take to log on?

Move that satellite over just a little bit. . . . .is that a $20 bill on the ground?

“My friend, what does that little hand do?”

How do you even turn this dang thing on!?

Cindy…Ga.

Just airbrush the side of my face a little, and could you make my lips look fuller like Angelina’s?

Aref
Cape Cod, MA

“Get me on-line Jerk…I hear my photo’s been pop’in up on Beat 360.

Where’s the coyote?

Check it out!….I just changed your screensaver to the Obama New Yorker cartoon.

Does the rest of America know about this?

Take me to the thing called the internets!

That’s one fancy typewriter

This is what they call a computer…so what do you do with it?

Yes, I’m 71 and I have a myspace. Let me send you a friend request.

Wait a minute…why do all these Google results say Czechoslovakia no longer exists?

Oooooo… let’s play Global Thermonuclear War!

WOW….who knew this much info could be gotten to smear Obama from just using the tips of my fingers!

Cindy…Ga.

Hey I’m on the terrorist watch list

“So you mean if I help this Nigerian royal family with this money, they’ll give me a big campaign contribution?”

Oh! So this is the thing that Senator Obama is using to raise all that money.

UUMM….Mr. McCain…you have to turn it on BEFORE you start typing!

Cindy…Ga.

IDK my BFF Mitt

How…Wha…How d’you get the arrowthingamajig to move?

Am I on Facebook?

I did WHAT on youtube????

McCain expresses confusion over a message a blogger just posted on AC360.com.

EJ - Cincinnati, OH

“I’m look’in for a computer screen that can take a punch - you know, like made with bullet-proof glass or something.”

The No President Left Behind initiative.

Umm, no I don’t think if you delete Senator Obama’s picture that he’ll disappear in real life.

Hey, this is cool - that’s me on AC Beat 360!!

Hey guys, let’s put Obama’s profile on eHarmony.

Can you go to “Viagra” web site?????

“I may not be tech savy but i recognize solitaire when i see it!”

Morgan
Des Moines, IA

Do you mind if I check my myspace?

Slow down! How are you getting that little arrow thingy to move?

“You’re making a human Paladin? What a n00b”

John McCain learns how to research his past positions on the internet.

Now, how do you turn the dial on these new-fangled television sets anyhow?

Peter T
Mankato MN

$30Million? How does Obama do it?

So you can actually win a a shirt just by beating 360? That’s easy, I beat Guliani anyways!

So how do they get the mouse out of the computer?

Oh god, all ladies in the computer world don’t wear clothes?

Why aren’t there bigger letters on this contraption?

You mean I can start any rumor on this blog about myself as SMARTGUY08 and no one will know its me?

Demonstrating his comfort with the Internet and email, Senator McCain affixes a postage stamp to a computer screen.

“WOW!! So I can be anyone in a chat room? Can you make me President?”

Hey, let’s check out the new viagra ads!

Is that a Google Earth of my Vietnamese prison camp?

This doesn’t look anything like those series of pipes Internet-thingie.

So your saying that if I want to beat 360 I need to send in a caption that has broad appeal, is rather vanilla, and is not provocative in any way??? I can do that!

“Wow, these Google Maps are cool, but I still don’t trust the internet. why can’t we find Czechoslovakia?”

How many friends does Obama have on myspace compared to my 5?

Wow, this is amazing! This new software recomposed my speech into a dynamic, energetic one that makes sense.

Can you show me that Jib Jab cartoon I keep hearing about?

If you close one eye and cross the other the Magic Eye reveals it’s hidden image.

“If I close my left eye, then the right side of my brain should work.”

So, this is the internet?

What are you AIMing at?

“Oh, I have seen these fancy-schmanchy things in the airport check-in lines! Why doesn’t it work when I touch ’sign in’?”

So where does the stamp go?

Well my friend, if Al Gore had invented this thing sooner, you could have used Google Earth to see me at the Hanoi Hilton.

John McCain trying to photo shop his pictures so that he looks years younger.

“So I put the three of hearts on the four of clubs….”

Can you take me to ac360.com? I want to see if I can beat 360 for once.

This would’ve been helpful in Vietnam.

Your computer has a virus? Awww. How do we make it feel better?

Oh cool!…Check it out!….There’s a signed copy of the Obama New Yorker cartoon on ebay.

Debbie, Los Angeles, CA

So, this is the Internet?

McCain: Start from the very beginning, by typing words on the screen I can write email?

That’s what birth control is used for?! I am, yet again, speechless.

What and what a guy has to do to be on this internet??? I don’t understand how Sen.Obama does that……..can you show me at least one thing about me???

Is this the part that Al Gore invented?

“If I hit Delete, will that take the smirk off his face?”

Olen
Lexington, KY

John McCain takes a break from campaigning to add two new friends
to his Facebook.

Look, it’s simple. If Patrick throws the rock right here, then Spongebob will be able to climb up and double-jump onto the platform. I know how to win this thing!

I don’t care if it is taken, I want my “Handle” to be macdaddy08 !

“So this internet thing can actually be used by presidential candidates to raise money? I must then immediately halt our panning operation at Sutter’s Mill.”

You mean - if I touch here I launch a missle strike on Iran?

Wow, I can even get Obama ring-tones!

Step aside, young man. If President Bush can lead this country, surely I can work this computer.

Can you help me post a caption for Beat 360, I somehow have never been able to figure to figure out how to post a comment on that site!

Show me this “Jib-Jab” thing everyone is talking about.

Get me to AC360.com, my friends. I need to win that t-shirt.

EJ - Cincinnati, OH

“So this is Obama’s secret? I need to learn more about these ‘internets’ and get my own myspace!”

How do I submit my caption to win a Beat 360 Challenge t-shirt?

“Just add a little more meat to this section of my daughter’s resume, that should suffice my friend.”

John McCain takes a course in Eavesdropping 101 to better prepare him for the Presidency.

So this is how Barack got the youth to vote?

Just right-click here and save the cover of ‘The New Yorker’ as a screen-saver and you’re done…

“Which website are we looking at? Anderson who?”

EJ - Cincinnati

Hey! How’d they get me in there?

McCain then said, ” Hey kid, you better help me come up with a winning caption to get a free t-shirt or the stock in Werner Enterprises is going to be toast!

Bryan Williams, Hamilton, AL

Which one of the internets is this?

No, no, no you see how fashionable Anderson combs his hair…give me that and I am sure to get the womens’ vote.

You think Cindy would like those earrings?

Ok Guys- Who’s identity do I need to steal so I can win in November?

Why does Hillary’s MySpace page say ‘Single’

“I know! I know! I’ve spent way too many hours off the campaign trail thinking of captions, but I’m not leaving until I get that darn T-shirt!”.

The internet? So that’s the thing Al Gore invented.

Let’s check out the Beat 360° pic of the day.

Can we get Anderson to delete that picture? You can’t even see my good side.

This thing is great — if I close one eye, Obama goes away.

What? my awkward moment last week has 100000 views on youtube?kids today like looking at you on tubes?

And all the internets fit inside this little box?

If this is myspace then why do I see obama’s face?

“So do I have one of those BookFace pages?”

“You see that think at the top of my campaign website? It says maximize! We NEED to click on that!”

“So you can just google satellite imagery? Wow! Hey that’s my house - some jerk’s throwing my 8-Track player in the garbage can!”
“Ummm…I think that’s your wife senator.”

“Okay, so you say this Google Earth is an actual satellite? Let’s spy on Obama!”

Gentlemen, just look straight ahead and act like we’re not surfing for porn.

What do you mean, I deleted it? It’s got to be here someplace.

I think you need to move my picture a little more to the left….after all I am known as a left wing conservative.

Cindy…Ga.

“Oh, you made a typo. Let me Tipp-ex that for you.”

Ah… I see, so that’s how I accept Malia and Sasha Obama’s Facebook friend requests.

“Look guys, I have a new friend request! Just click right there to accept it. Oh, hey! It’s W!”

Leaning to the left, McCain takes a look at some new technology.

John McCain’s first email to Cindy: cin, ILU ttyl lol
from sexi_jonny_bigmac_08@gmail.com

Are you sure “Beat 360″ won’t know it’s me making a comment under Ed - Sidney, Oh

“Enlarge your… What does that say?”

So this is Barack Obamas money tree?

McCain’s internet campaign team revealed: the senator, one designer, and a guy with a mustache.

etch-a- sketch fun guy’s, i do it in my office all the time!

Turn it left… now slide it over! Ok, ok. Next piece… move it right, flip it and bring it down. Man, how come I’ve never heard of this drug called Tetris before??

Now who is this Anderson Copper fellow? Wait a sec… He does have a cutie sidekick!

John McCain is confused to learn that My Space has nothing to do with NASA.

“You should join my group, ‘McCain for President’ on Facebook! Seriously. Right there. Click join group. Come on, Please!”

If we don’t win a T-shirt this time, on “Beat 360″ Call CNN ask for Joey on staff, he’ll get us one for sure. He owes me.

“So this is the “internets”… “

McCain tells CNN news programmers just which stories are acceptable to be aired; the order comes directly from CNN’s true handlers - The Republican Party and large corporate interests.

Now lets go to Obama.com and leave some mean messages!

I don’t care is she is 14 and home alone….if she can’t vote I’m not wasting my time.

“Click on that jumping George Bush there, it says I can test my IQ against his. Let’s see how I stack up!”

“That’s Obama’s campaign website right there. Now, you guys just hack into it, and post an announcement that Obama smells. It will be so great!”

Are you sure you I’m in the running for AC 360s T-shirt contest? I could really use that sharp looking shirt!

No, no sir… LOL doesn’t mean that you are moving to the “Left Or Liberal”.

They call it a curser? Maybe I CAN get used to this.

For the last time, Senator, you push the “On” button!

“But he says he’s a Nigerian Prince…maybe we should help him!”

No, no sir… LOL doesn’t mean that you are moving to the “Left Of Liberal”.

That’s Obama’s what? Can he see us?

Linda Brown
Richmond, CA

What good is it, If you can’t take some of Obama’s funds and put it in MY campaign.

“But how can it be called “facebook” if it’s not really a book?”

“I was told the internet was a “series of tubes”…I don’t see any tubes…”

Hey….I’m a Mac too!

Jolene, St. Joseph, MI

Click on Barack’s myspace.

“So I can change anything I want on photoshop?”

John McCain looks on in wonder as he googles himself for the very first time.

Now let’s see what Hillary’s web site is like, after she stopped “Plugging” it every time she spoke.

“yes, but where is the remote control?”

I keep hitting the escape button but I’m still here…

Jolene, St. Joseph, MI

“Can one of you guys tell me which channel for the Lawrence Welk Show?”

Mark S.
Sacramento, CA

“And all this time I thought when people “googled” themselves, they were doing something dirty!”

Can you turn the channel again? Senator Obama keeps popping up everywhere with campaign ads… how does he do that?

McCain saying to computer operator:
“I still don’t understand where the stuff goes when you hit the send or save buttons. Oh, yeah, how do those e-mail letters get from here to there so dang fast?

How do I hurt Lou Dobbs’ e-feelings?

“How did I get all over the internet? I’ve never even been there before!”

It’s 3am in the morning and the white house gets an email marked with high importance… who do you trust to open the attachment???

“Oh, wow. I really do need to work on my speech delivery, don’t I?”

John McCain informs TSA Administrator, Kip Hawley, of suspicious messages of hope left unattended by Mr. and Mrs. Barack Obama.

Wow! You can see my face wrinkles on the screen!

“So this is a “website”. Are there any spiders?”

McCain asking: “Why do they call it a curser? Does it swear when you click the button? I don’t like idea of tools swearing at me!”

Why isn’t this a touch screen? I don’t know how to use one of those rabbit things… wait, sorry, it’s a mouse, right?

This mirror sucks! I can’t see my reflection at all…

Hey…When I said I wanted to see “The Golden Girls”, I didn’t mean an Adult web site!

Mark S.
Sacramento, CA

Still having trouble aligning those darn tabs in Microsoft Word when writing those campaign letters.

That’s Obama’s what? Can he see us?

Linda-Richmond, CA

Move Cheney next to Bush; he’s gonna have earn being my top friend.

Is THAT legal !!!!!!!??????

Can someone get me some Preparation-H and a regular type writer?

McCain realizes “The Hills” isn’t quite the show he thought it was.

I just don’t remember making the reservation at the Hanoi Hilton thru Captive travel.com.

Billy Bob, Is that a recent poll? There is no way I am leading Obama? Someone slap me see if I am not dreaming.

This thing is so cool… wait… where do you put the quarter in?

McCain makes his daily attempt to beat 360.

” You mean they cna’t see that your ‘re an old hasbeen on the internet?”

“What do you mean it’s not real? It says right here that I’m the millionth visitor and I need to click there to get my prize!”

“Google War Crimes”

I want that song, All my exes live in Texas downloaded. Would you please help me.

Try putting this tile here in the middle and I think the numbers will start to fit in place better.

Who stole my reading glasses?

“I’ve never seen X-tube before. What is that thing there”

“So, Al Gore invented the internet,” Thats awesome.

McCain: This is pretty amazing

Man in Photo: Sir, that’s just the welcome screen.

McCain practices his stinkeye for the webcam

“Will you look at that? Bill Gates is giving away his fortune, and all I have to is froward this e-mail to 100 people and I can get in on it!”

What rhymes with nerd?

Ah, Beat 360, I love this…hey, wait! That’s me!

Are you sure that map doesn’t say “Checkoslovakia”? Check it again.

Well I told them I’d do it so how do I set up an email account?

Do you know how to play freecell? Show me how to play this game? Thanks son,
Megan D.
Shoreline, WA

So you’re telling me I don’t need to put the white out on the screen??

” Wait till the folks back in Arizona see this”

So telling people to google me is not disrespectful.

Well, it’s not a REAL mouse Senator McCain….

“Man-this is nothing like my Magnavox-where’s the remote?”

You just sank my battleship!!!

John McCain continues nonstop campaigning with help from Depends.

Billy bob, is that Iraq? I thought it was Israel!

YAHOO! I thought computers could not show emotions?

Look what happens when I touch the screen!!!!

Look, it’s all wrong right here… I said I DON’T like long walks on the beach or puppies… get it right!

In breaking news today, John McCain announced plans to begin drilling for oil in every blog on the internet. In response to the announcement, McCain stated, “I’m not really sure what a blog really is, but I’m certain there’s oil in it.”

Who is this old guy with the bald spot at the podium? Oh….nevermind…

“I’m not an expert on computers. Can you explain to me how they get the little people inside?”

Dale Hamilton
Washington, D.C.

“….so if my computer gets a virus, will my health care cover it?”

That’s nice guys….but my tie is caught in the shredder….my tie!!! my tie!!! a little help here!!

That’s correct, Senator. The screen shows the missle you launched just took out Sheboygan.

So when the President told me he was excited to shop on the internet, “Yahoo” was not just his Texas way of showing enthusiasm.

“Yes, you heard me correctly. On my credit card, I want pictures of kittens!”

Put my face on Schwarzenegger’s body….ha ha!! Now I’m governor of California!! I look pretty good!!

All right, my man. Let’s light this candle!

“And if you squint, I look a bit like Anderson Cooper in this one.”

Whats that say sonnie , does say what i think it say Barack Obama is the president of the united states.

California

Is this the thing he used to raise more money than me last month?

I’m tellin’ ya, THAT’S Bin Laden!! Third cave on the right!!

Ohhh so this is what those crazy kids call an “email”…What will they think of next?!

No Senator, “icon” refers to items on the desk top, not YOU!!!

John McCain learns that he can’t download the Presidency…He’ll have to win it after all.

Omg, Is that Cynde?

Hey, see if my Beat 360° caption won!

Neat! Google my name again, my friend.

“So what does this button that says on/off do?”

OMG im getting Andy Rooney Brows . That can’t be a good thing .

As the young intern pulls up van-halen.com on the computer screen…McCain sadly states, “If Diamond Dave is back with the band…there goes my VP choice! Someone get Sammy on the phone!”

I’m feeling a little depressed today guys. How about bringing up a picture of the Obama New Yorker cartoon.

Quick! i need you change the channel, i don’t want to miss “The Love Boat”. I think that Gofer guy looks a lot like Rep. Fred Grandy

This Wiki guys is smart. So Czechoslovakia has become two countries. Oh Look! Burma is now Myanmar!

Hey, see if my Beat 360° caption won!

Jefferson, LA

“My friend, why do you call your computer an Apple?”

So if I think of a winning caption, I can win a Beat 360° Challenge” T-shirt ?

Let’s go over that again… that funny looking thing is called the mouse

This OMG TTYL guy’s on the terrorist watch list isn’t he??

I still can’t find the “Any” key!

That article says that I am ahead of Obamain the polls. . I think I am going to love this internet stuff !!

Oh Man. I knew I shouldn’t have had the burrito for lunch.

you say this game is called Pac-Man? I thought he was a football player??

What does “pwnd” mean, and why is it on my picture?

Jefferson, LA

Get that off the screen before TSA sees it!

Senator McCain updates his resume - just in case.

Cameron Cox
Winnipeg, Canada

I am having trouble seeing….Are those all blue states on the map?

Now how do I send a telegram using google tube!

No Senator McCain, an Etch-a-Sketch has the two knobs on the bottom…

Does this thing have Pong on it?

Jefferson, LA

That number…right there…That’s what Obama raised in thirty days?

I’ve alway’s wanted a screen name , but I don’t think TheBigMc is very Presidential , it just doesn’t make sense .

If Barack can bowl, I can learn to use the internet.

That’s funny, I’ve never noticed a mole there before…

If I hit this button right here, can I make Obama disappear?

Show me how to Blog. I want to win one of those Beat 360 t-shirts.