Believe me being the successful Democratic nominee isn't all its cracked up to be

Rare photo of Hillary in a genuine smile.

Hey, fancy seeing you here! We run into each other in my plane... once again.

The moments JUST before Hill got pushed out of the plane.

Obama and Clinton amuse themselves telling Jackson jokes when they think the cameras aren't rolling.

Lets skip this meeting and land in a corn field.

"Don't worry Hillary, we're still color coordinated like last time..my underwear is the exact color as your jacket"

So, what are we going to do about this Bill thing?

Fake smiling is good for your health

Barack, Dont forget about my debt again- you silly goose.

East Lansing,
MI

Obama positions himself to end the Clinton for VP talk once and for all

This is fun, we really have everyone wondering if your going to be my Vice President or not.

Hey Hillary. Have you heard the one about Pres. Bush doing a great job?

Ok Barrack why did you post date that $22 million dollar check Nov 5?

Hillary tries to make a joke about how these upcoming fundraisers should go towards paying down her debt

Honest Hill, it was just an oversight. I had every intention of grovelling for you. (NOT)

"Hillary, you're so funny, but Bill still can't come with us"

There aren't any "Hot Mics." on this plane, are there?

Barark: Hillary, we could be on to something with this program to retire your campaign debt, wonder if we could use this strategy to pay off Bush's war debt.

Obama and Hillary play how low can you go ? Up high ,down low and you Hillary are to slow.

Hillary thinks Barack is joking when he says she brings a lot of baggage with her...literally

I heard Jessie Jackson will be serving "Nuts" on this flight.

"Hillary, McCain's war record doesn't qualify him for President and neither does your snappy dressing for Vice-President"

Hey Hillary did ya hear the on about Jesse Jackson.....

A reverend and a politician walk into this bar.

Can I keep up this phony smile long enough to milk this guy for $20 million?

Now today, you give your speech and almost forget to introduce me. This is fun campaigning together.

Sorry Hillary, I don't have a tie to match THAT out fit!

Hillary thinks it's funny that she used Barack's recent check to buy this new pant suit.

"Don't worry Hill....we'll just give Jesse Jackson the silent treatment!"

Obama and Hilary flying the friendly skies.

"Please just smile and act as if we like one another for 5 minutes to get a good photo"

"C-cups. Just take my word for it, OK?"

Hilary mentons that she has to thank Bill for her ability to "fake it"

I will help pay your debt and you get me the women voters and we both will be happy happy.

Dang girl, I love that "Cackle" of yours.

You help me get the women voters, I will help pay your debt and you will get no calls at 3 am from the debt collectors.

You put Bill where? Oh Hillary that was mean.

We can consolidate your debt into a 15 year, low fixed APR.

Okay, one more Bush impression and that's it !

We knock on the cockpit door, then run and hide.

Ah, sure! Chelsea would sure love to babysit your daughters, and I'll make sure there are no reporters to interview them.

Take 50. OK, now smile. No, not that BIG, watch ME...!

I'll give you my answer as soon as I know there are no hot mikes around.

You know what Hillary you are not so bad after all. But you still wont be my VP or be on my ticket in the fall election.

Ask Jesse, how many zero's his apology is for? On a check.

Hey Hil – I'm so glad Jesse thinks I still have b_lls! Whew!

Ha ha ha! Barack you said you were going to cover my campaign debts...ha ha ha!

"Hillary, do you know if they serve nuts on this flight?"

Do I have any nuts in my teeth?

"Hillary, maybe if you wore an uglier pant suit, my donors would actually see that you need the money"

No fist bumps for Hillary.

Hillary asks Obama "What's in your wallet? Obama relpies about 5 pennies !

"I know my donors don't want to pay off your debt, but it's nothing personal...they just don't like your pant suits"

Barack...everything I said about you during the Primaries....I was just kidding!

Mark S.
Sacramento, CA

Put me down for five of your debt reduction T-shirts.

O.K. Hilary, now that I've helped you with your financial woes, Its time to start making some money for me.

"Let me get this straight Hillary, your supporters won't donate to my campain because they think I'm an elitist..didn't they watch Access Hollywood?"

"... Jessie is just grabbing anything he can get his hands on for attention... it's quite comical. "

Marc
Sarasota, FL

"Tell your supporters I'm not an elitist...would an elitist wear those shoes on Access Hollywood?"

Hillary and Obama discuss how many supporters will help settle her debt and Obama relpies On a scale of 1 to 10 I'll say 5!

Hilary tells Obama not to worry about Jesse Jackson's comments. Jesse threatened to cutt of hilary's nuts too!

Did you tell Jessie what to say??

Give me a heads-up if you see Jesse coming.

Hillary ,If you talk that unity talk again I'll slap you silly!

Now now Hillary, we better not do the "fist jab"...who know what Jesse [Jackson] will say then.

I'm telling you, if I forget to mention your campaign debt, I'll let you push me off of this plane.

"Keep rambling, Obama, keep rambling. I'm wired and the boys in the truck are getting everything you're saying!"

Mark-Andrew
Kitchener, Ontario

"Hey Hillary, if you get on my nerves I have a paracute with your name on it."

Sure, you won...But if I had been the big winner, the Rev. Jessie Jackson, wouldn't be trying to change me from a rooster to a hen!!

Hillary -

I'll bet you five bucks they've lost luggage again!

"I hope Barack hasn't been tipped off to the photo-op I've arranged with Jesse Jackson and Jeremiah Wright...this is going to be fun!"

Mark-Andrew
Kitchener, Ontario

Seriously, you are at the top of my VP shortlist, there are only a dozen or so people ahead of you. I could bump you up if you could somehow ditch Bill.

Sheri V
Albuquerque, NM

Sen Obama- what are you smiling at Hilliary?!

Sen Clinton – Does it look like im smiling!!!!???

That Bill! He just said the funniest thing!!!!

McCain thinks he's got it giong on with his straight talk express plane ,Hey Hillary what about a Unity Express C'mon Hil give me 5!

How about raising fund for a vacation to virgin Islands, just u and me....

Please can you JUST cut me a CHEQUE for my CAMPAIGN debts????

THAT would be a LOAD off my MIND!!!!

I'll show you mine, if you'll show me yours.

" Honestly Hillary, Political baggage is free."

"Don't worry Hillary, you're still on my short list for VP, just not at the top of the list"

If only you were younger, and we had meet in college.

CNN Breaking News: Presuptive Democratic Nominee taken into custody after photo shows an attempt to strangle former rival

"No, Hillary, when my supporters say they won't pony up any money..there are no real ponies involved"

Believe me, Barack, there have been LOTS of times
that I almost did to Bill what Jesse Jackson said
he wanted to do to you!

I insist the peanuts are yours!

Marcy
Mobile, AL

Hillary and Barack laugh after hearing McCain's economic plan.

Look, here comes our steward Rev Jackson with the pea – nuts.

" Hillary...panhandling for you is like taking candy from a baby!"

Barack and Hillary discuss new plan to sell wristbands to raise money to pay off her debt.

No Obama we "cant elope" tonite cause I have to return the lovely pantsuit. ( I thought she had ditched that cantalope pantsuit in West Va.)

Don't worry Barack, The pilot assures me that the emeregency escape slide will stay inside the plane today.

Of course my supporters will contribute to you Barrack. Now we were talking about your VP list weren't we?

No seriously. I think we would do well as Co-Presidents. So what do you say?

So, when my dog ran across the pond to fetch a stick, the headlines were. "Obama's dog walks on water!"
Then John's dog did it too and the headlines were, "McCain's dog can't swim!"

"Barack, tell me the truth. If I smile like this, does it resemble McCain's artificial smile in any way?"

Yes, this time you can have the window seat.

Did you see how PO'd Don Imus was when he realized that
Jesse Jackson was going to get away with that "nuts" remark?

Clearly I missed the wardrobe memo, but hey our palms match.

No Bill couldn't make it today, he had a very important bowling tournament. Yup, in ummm Botswana.

Barak, having a weak moment due to oxygen issues on the plane says: "Hill, you look ravashing today! Wanna play president and intern?"

If this plane needs to make an emergency stop like the last one, Obama is going to have to choke a mama

then after Jessie got his beer, he says, "some nuts with this please?"

¨Why yes, Barack, my jacket was designed to look like a salmon filet. How sweet of you to notice!¨

Aref
Cape Cod, MA

Lets try not to argue, I heard your kids say it makes you angry anyway, hahaha...I still got a chance for that VP spot right?

"Barack, do you think Bill can fly in Air Force One again when we are -uh uh – you're elected?"

"I can laugh knowing I have a Barack voodoo doll at home full of pins!"

Okay, enough already. Stop pestering me about the V.P. spot or out you go...

Say the "Secret Password" and I'll let you threw.

I know that's funny Barack, but I'm not kidding...That'll be 22 million plus tax and tip.

...then the soda jerk said, "Do you want sprinkles or nuts with that?"

And then Jesse said...

"A roll call vote at the convention? Haha! Let me go make a call real fast..."

"You know... this isn't half as cool as Air Force One."

"I'm so sorry, Hilary, but you can see how that outfit might make me think you were a flight attendant...."

And then the Rabbi says to the priest...'pay back your own failed campaign, and you're not my Vice President.' Wait, I think I told that joke wrong.

Apparently when your a reverend, you have a license to say whatever you feel.

"High five, on the side, down low, let it go."

"If I have to listen to ONE MORE of his jokes, I'm going to need the barf bag!!"

You sent Jesse a "Muzzle" Do you think that will actually work?

"Well looks like I am right in front of you!"

"Well thats not how things turned out now did they?"

Hey Hillary, if Jesse Jackson gets his way, I'LL be the first female president!

Whew, I am glad Jessie was refering to you and not me I just cring at the thought.

See Hillary, you’ve been doing it all wrong. This is how you do the robot.

It all worked out fine . Barack got the change and Hillary got the cheque she was searching for.

I like the suggestion Hill. We'll really blow McCain's mind by leaking the story that I want the other Clinton for VP, but do you really think Chelsea is up to it?

The last one standing to help Hillary wih her overhead.

"And then the cameraman said "Stop talking Jesse, your mic is still hot".

I would love to be your campaign financial adviser!

Maybe I can cash in on this whole thing by starting a company that sell bags of "Obama's nuts".

Hillary, i hope YOU at least never thought of cutting off my nuts!

Barack Obama amuses Hillary by comparing himself to an Almond Joy and Jesse Jackson to a Mounds.

"Barack I'm scared..."
"Come on Hill, just close your eyes and you will hardly feel anything"

Okay Hillary, let's go over this one more time. My name is (all together now) "Barack Obama" and I am running for (all together now) "President of the United States". Verrry Good!

Let's act as if we know what we are doing to bring the Democratic party together.

...so, then the reverend said, " I can see you're completely nuts! ",
and I said, " You better not even think of touching them ! ".

"I promise we WILL let Bill out of the overhead compartment as soon as the press corp has gotten off the plane."

Far left, or left isle seat?

Barack: "Have you heard the one about the two VP's hopefuls who walk into the White House...?"
Hillary: "Ha, ha, ha, ha!"

Let's pretend we know what we are doing to unite the Democratic Party

"I can't believe they all fell for it, Jesse is a great actor!"

“I promise we WILL let Bill out of the overhead compartment as soon as the press corp has gotten off the plane.”

Tracie
Bellevue, WA

"I don't care who you are Hillary, it will still be 15 dollars extra per carry on luggage."

Hey Hillary, thanks to Rev. Jackson I'm going to start a company that sell bags of peanuts called "Obama's Nut Sac".

B: You're awesome Hillary!
H: No YOU are Barack!
B: Yeah, I know. I'm pretty awesome.

Barrack takes a page from Frank Costanza’s book and decides to “stop short” with Hillary, when the plane makes a sudden movement prior to departure.

Barack: Hillary, don't worry. There wont be any emergency landing this time around.; this is Oprah's jet. Oh by the way, I gave her you request and she agreed to write you check as well

Detroit, Michigan

That's $5 million you want for your campaign debt to keep on smiling???

Rick
Chappaqua, New York

"OMG Hillary, that looks exactly like McCain's awkward grin!"

"Hilary, why don't we switch seats? I'd like to move toward the center."

I'm sorry Hillary, I can't listen to this any further, 1000$ is just too much!

Madonna and Timberlake need "4 minutes " to save the world-Obama signals to Hillary-they may need five..

Barack, Sweetie? You were told wrong...I answered that 3am call a few seconds before you did...So I guess this plane is mine!

Lorie Ann, Buellton, Calif

"Hillary now I know that Bill and you are still a litlle upset about the past but you two have to stop sabotageing the plane!"

"Yes Hillary...in only five years you may know what it is like to be be in MY position...

I'm sorry Hillary, I can't let you go any further because there's no restroom on this plane

Jesus Rico
Bakersfield California

Hillary, you take the first question, then i'll agree. jusy like we did in the debates.

Hey Hilary I know you used to use this plane so please don't tweak it like the other one I flew in before

I've really got to hand it to you Hilary.

Frequent liars – I mean, flyers....

"Thanks Barack – I did sleep well. I had the most wonderful dream about Jesse Jackson and a steak knife."

"Oh Barack, that feels so good"

...Good joke Hillary, but your still not going to be VP!

Hillary: "Bill who?"

"And for in-flight entertainment, we get to watch volume 1 of the 100 volume DVD set, 'George Bush Bloopers'."

"Hope Anderson is on-board with this one too"

"We can't do a 360 now"

Barack: "Don't worry Hillary, I've got this speech covered, you've done enough."

"Phil Gramm baby!!" High five!!!

Obama: "I bet you 5 bucks that my pants are older than your pantsuit!"

So Hillary....We're good now right?

Since the Puma's are paying your debt..can you loan me some money for Denver

Hillary: "Yeah, my bank is still waiting for your deposit..."

Don't worry Hillary, today the in-flight snack is pretzels!

Kimberly, Idaho

Hillary, I'm serious.... go get me a pillow!

Hillary, I know if there's any turbulence on this flight I can count on your combat fighter experience to land this baby safely.

OK so I'm asked to help pay for your depts again, so where's the cigar

Count 'em, Hill. Five times I said, no , you can't be on the ticket

You know Hil, we've had our rough patches, but at least you never said you wanted to sever any of my body parts.

Rock, paper, scissors. I win–you pay your own debt... You win–you pay your own debt.

serious Hillary, have a tic tac

These are no "peanuts," you know.

HIGH FIVES NOW...NO POUND

The pilot is going to fly over Jesse Jackson's house and dump the "Blue Ice"

No really, stop laughing. I'm not going to make you Vice President, but I do still need you to help me win the election.

I'm serious now, give me five good reasons why I should make you Vice President.

Hillary’s thoughts behind the smile:
“If I’d had the chance, I’d have put Jesse Jackson’s words to action.”

Terry
Bristol, PA

I want that all, and I want that now

“Hey, Barack, look! What do you think? Jim Carrey as Fire Marshall Bill?!”

Terry
Bristol, PA

(forgot to put name, etc when I first posted this)

Oh Barack, you're just the dreamiest!!! HeeHeeHee

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by

hahahaah..... Aren't my daughters funny ....hahahahah....

After they're pitstop in Unity, New Hampshire. Barack and Hillary embark on a new journey to Harmony, New York

So Hillary, two Republicans walk into a bar...

You remind me so much of my mother, except she knows how to beat me.

Thank goodness for Barack and his corny jokes...my face is getting great exercise while waiting for the punch line! Note to self: CANCEL BOTOX APPOINTMENT.

Barack...you make me laugh! YOU...the next president?! !

Bob Fraze
Massillon, OH

No, Seriously Hillary, can you split the gas with me?

Hillary do you have a quarter?? No Barrack, why I promised I call my mother when I fell in love.

Don't worry about the $15 dollar fee for the checked bag. This one is on me !

hhahahahahahah ......Aren't my Daughters funny?? They want you to be the VP...... hahahaah

Sexual harassment lawsuit in 3... 2... 1...

I thought we had a deal. I go on Access Hollywood; you go on The View.

Barack: Really, you are on my VP short-list. Don't listen to the pundits:-)

Barack...you make me laugh! YOU...the next president?! !

No really, you have to get off now, Hillary.

"I swear, I stuffed Jesse in the overhead. Listen, he's crying....."

I'll pick a running mate when I'm good and ready. Now stop following me everywhere I go.

"Remember Hillary, Fifth time's a charm"

Hilary watch it, I know that after that smile I'm going to get the "Point Point Clap Clap" maneuver.

Shaul Hanuka, Israel.

I said I'd help lower the debt from your campaign...not get on the plane.

High Five. You're not hip enough for the fist bump.

Randolph, MA

Nice jacket. Michelle had one just like that.

Did you hear the one about the Reverand who wanted to cut the President's n*** off?

"New York ready or not, HERE WE COME!"

Bystanders take pictures as Democratic Candidate Barack Obama tries to hide Hillary's "Go McCain!" Necklace.

Hey Barack, guess who just got her pilot’s license! Buckle up...or don't

"....you're too slow." Again: "Up high, down low..."

I had a great time, too, Barack...would you like to take that hand and wrap it around a nice, hot, firm cup of coffee?

Scout's Honor! I will ask my supporters to send in the donations for you today. I will not forget it.

Shreveport, Louisiana

Smile and act like you are enjoying yourself, Barack, because this is as close as you going to get to Air Force 1!

Tim, Independence, LA