The first cast member of the next season of “Celeb Rehab” is announced: the Taco Bell Chihuahua, completing treatment for addiction to chalupas.

(Lola thinking) Do we really need to record my tickeling?

The Taco Bell Chihuahua throws his opinion in the ring regarding illegal imigration.

Reporter: Yes ladies and gentleman, even Lola has been stood up by the Taco Bell dog. As you can see, she’s not taking this very well. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww……….

Back away dude with that thing. It is not time for my colonoscopy!

I can’t believe you want a statement after the day I had. TGIF.

Hey…you get that thing any closer to me and I’ll rip your arm off! I may be small but I carry a mean bite!!

Cindy…Ga.

“Yo quero 360?”

Lola: Quit poking me buddy - I’m trying to assume the position!

Lola must no be into endorsing tennis shoes…Can somebody give this dog a taco

The Taco Bell Chihauha officially endorsed Barack Obama this afternoon, after refusing to do so during the primary contest

No, I would not want to be asked to be Obama’s running mate- then his campaign really will have “gone to the dogs”!

The Taco Bell Chihuahua gets nervous and responds with “No comment,” when asked about the recent salmonella tomatoes served in its restaurant.

And now a word from senior producer Barklay Palmer…

Aww… it’s OK Lola, even people like Anderson Cooper can’t think of what to say at times.

The next contestant in the Anderson Cooper look alike contest steps up to the mike! Sorry Anderson, but I couldn’t resist!

I don’t want to say “yo quiero taco bell” any more!

Where is Reese Witherspoon? I feel so lost.

“Yo Quiero Erica Hill!”

See Obama was right the Republicans will try to make everyone afraid of him- even I’m afraid of him.

You pulled me out of retirement, just so I could go to that taco place with you. Eyecheewawa

OK…this is a redo..I misspelled days…duh. LOL

Hey..you just said it’s the dog days of summer like that’s a bad thing..what’s up with that!? Dogs have feelings too ya know!

Cindy…Ga.

An Obama campaign advisor spent the day courting the female, white voters.

Hey, for minimum wage I show up. You want me to talk, costs extra.

You’d be shaking like this too if you were the first picture awaiting a comment. Just so they could win a T-shirt.

You’ll have to speak up Lola when you say “That’s not in my job description”.

Audition 2 Take#3 Taco Bell dog commerical
“Yo quiero Taco bell!”

The paparazzi is just plain out of control.

Jenny Rome GA

I have no comment on the wall between Mexico and the United States.

Jenny ROme Ga

What do you want from me? An endorsement ! I don’t do politics, only food commercials.

“It is a Dog eat Dog world in there, I refuse to go in & be a chump snack”

Who in their right mind would create a “Take Your Dog to Work” day? This is humiliating.

Lola the newset celebirity announcer for the 360 annoncer job
Yo quiero “Anderson Cooper!

Furthermore, I deny ever having relations with that dog while in the White House.

Ever since I joined the Obama family I’ve just been livin la vida loca! Who knew being a presidential pooch could be SO fun!?

Cindy…Ga.

(The paparazzi at it’s best) “A little privacy please!”

What do you mean I have to be a member of the American Kennel Association?

Jenny rome GA

Get that away from me, before I call for my bodyguard, Bruno the pit bull.

Wait don’t deport me. I know I have a green card somewhere.

Jenny Rome Ga.

After his last haircut at the the hands of the President’s myopic stylist, Barney is afraid of anything that remotely looks like an electric razor.

Look buddy don’t try and convince me that’s a thermometer , I ain’t buying it . Comprendo ?

I’m so tired.. I’ve really been “working like a dog”!

Lola–Why do you always make me do this? You know I don’t like speaking into the microphone. I can’t be the only chihuahua that is bilingual.

Charlotte D, Stockton CA

“I can do it.” Get that butt up Soldier, you call that a push-up?

Good God, that woman! Ay …you know she really lights my fire man.

“Yo quiero Barack Obama…”

Mark S.
Sacramento, CA

Lola perfoms rendition of Tinkle Tinkle LIttle Star at Chihuahua Talent Competition.
Carmen, Toronto Canada.

“Donde esta usted, Paris Hilton !?”

Mark S.
Sacramento, CA

The race for the White House Begins now. On your marks…get set…go!

I just came out of the restaurant with a bag of tacos, when this large cat came and snatched it from my teeth. Look at me I’m still shaking !

What do you think is worse…..my bark or my bite?!?!?!

I don’t recommend going with your owner to a work place that has no restroom………….. Now do you mind !

The newest audition for the celebrity announcer…….Live from New York City, it’s Anderson Cooper 360…..and here’s Anderson (bark, bark, bark)

I can’t dance and now they want me to sing?!?

Ok, now scratch the other ear.

Former dog star Lassie speaks out about the drug addiction that very nearly killed her. Tell-all book deal in the works.

Can a dog get some privacy?

So, Hillery, do you still want to be Vice President?

Bruiser being interviewed about his new memoirs “Legally Dumped” the story of his life after Reese dumped him for Jake.

Can I say “Hi” to my pups? Hi puppies, mama loves you ! I’ll be home when the owner gets off work.

Gimme a minute, I’m trying to find my inner big dog.

The excitement from the ugliest dog contest almost spilled over onto intrepid reporter Gary Tuchman.

Marcy,
Mobile, AL

everybody sing along: “Who let the dogs out”

Keep laughing senor, you are about to get one big shock.

My owners an idiot. What’s your excuse?

Work? I got yer work pal, gimmie that leg.

Oh! Oh! What did I just sit in? Awww common people carry a baggie will ya!

Excuse me sir, but do you realize what you just stepped in?

The things I do for Kibbles N Bits, jeez.

Taco Bell RP:Now a word from our new Taco Bell Chihuahua.
Chihuahua:Yo .. Yo Queiro (stutter) I quit ,this job is to hard.

Well, the main reason I’m coming out of retirement is so I don’t loose my dog house.
I don’t have a problem with the gas.

A night of drinking always kills me before an interview.

Did you forget? I don’t have to work - I send you to work so I can sleep and bark at squirrels! Remember I AM the DIVA!

“I’d rather not express my liberal opinion.”

I repeat, I deny ever having used steroids or other performance enhancing drugs!

John, you are only as old as you feel. Just look at me! So, run for president. You can do it!

Don’t mess with my ear it makes me pee, and if you do it too my other ear i’ll show you what that makes me do .

I preparation of the fall elections, Lola helps out the Florida Division of Elections with the first dangling chad of the 2008 General Election.

When they said they were searching for a new breed of newscasters they weren’t kidding!

What do you mean you don’t make doggie size T-shirts?

I refuse to say anything unless I get a t-shirt too. 4X small please.

Don’t do that ! It makes me wanna go tinkle.

“YOU’RE the next American Idol”

Kim, Bolingbrook, IL

“I would like to ask the candidates their position on animal rights in this “little” dog eat dog world.”

Whoa dude! That’s the last time I’ll chug a bottle of tequilla on a dare.

If I was in your shoe I would sing a tall tune,
to a bone of a microphone that’s sure got me fooled!

Bring that Nikey any closer, buddy, and I will tinkle all over it!

“I would like to accept the Nomination for the First Dog for President.”

Call me YODA one more time, and I’ll chomp your toe off~!

At the rate this election is going, it was only a matter of time before cable news went to the dogs!

An attempt by John McCain trying to reach Latino voters and young “stoners” results in naming the Taco Bell represenative as his VP running mate!

Legally Blonde actress forced to sing for a living.

No Anderson, I will not be your Boo!

I’m glad my owner brought me to this bank, because I’m about to make a deposit on the carpet.

Got the campus tour and went to a frat party. Can I just go home now?

If one more person picks me up and squeals, “Oh, how cute!”, I’m gonna pee on them!

Lola knew that she shouldn’t have attended take you dog to work day… especially at a State University… where drinking is a full time job.

I don’t do stupid dog tricks and I don’t give interviews!

Lola just finds out that they don’t make the Beat 360° t-shirts in her size!

Ah, the dreaded microphone in the hands of a CNN investigative reporter. I admit it. Whatever it is, I probably did it.

I’ll say whatever you want, just keep me away from Paris Hilton.

Please quit calling me “Pipsqueak.” It makes me feel so small!

You mean despite my gorgeous hair color I can’t sit in for Anderson Cooper.

Do I LOOK like I’m having a GOOD time?!

Of course I’m draggin’ my tail. I’ve been working like a dog. TGIF!

“In an effort to think outside the bun, I’m voting for Ronald McDonald.”

The “between class rush” was terrifying to the smallest reporter on the ground!

“Her name was Lo-la, she was a show-dog…”

Former Taco Bell Spokesman Dismisses Rumors That Obama May Pick Him As Running Mate to Shore Up the Hispanic Vote.

“I told you I’m a scaredyCAT when it comes to public speaking.”

I’m sorry boss, Lola has to take a sick day on her first day of work because she ate a tomato.

Lola struggles to regain her composure after Simon’s scathing criticism during tryouts for American Idol- pet version.

Lola has a rough first day as a college campus reporter.

“It’s a RUFF day at work for Lola!”

Lola: “ehem, I would first like to say that you are all fired and will be replaced by the pets you see sitting under your desk…they are not only willing to sit under the table, but be paid that way”.

Oooohhh.. with $5 a gallon for gas, I dont get the daily ride now in our SUV..tired of that 1/2 mile walk now!

No bling….no new outfit….no hablo!

Jolene, St. Joseph, MI

Further solidifying his reputation as the REAL maverick in the race, the Taco Bell dog announces Ronald McDonald as his running mate.

After a long day of doing voiceovers for Taco Bell commercials, all Lola has left to say is “Yo Quiero a nap!”

I tell you man. I had nada to do with the bad tomatoes.

I am here today to show support for Sen. John McCain. The lies are false…you can teach an old dog new tricks!!

I did not always live on the streets. before bush, I had a nice house, a double dogie , money invested in a telecom co, before it went belly up. A time share in Iraq. a get away in new orleans. friends in high places, like valire in the cia. All gone now all gone……..

Who ever invented “Take Your Dog to Work Day” should be pee-ed on.

the best things come in small packages.

Any questions about my immigration hearing should be directed toward my lawyer.

I told you that I have no comment at this time. Stop hassling me!

I can’t believe I ate the whole thing!

The new guest lecturer has a PhD in Physics and has co-authored a bestselling book, “The Wonders of K9 Flight.”

I don’t answer any questions without my bulldog lawyer present!

OK, so you got me. i don’t even like tacos.

I’m just a little camera shy!

ooh la la gotta go.

Heyyyyyyyyyyyy……whoaaaaaaaa…..You gonna put that where homey!?!?!

When I said I need an attack dog for my v.p. I had something slightly more ferocious in mind.

Why does Elyan get all the attention. I’m so much cuter!

My question to my fans today is this. Is dog obedience school really any different than human schools of higher education? Catch my blog, share your thoughts, and I’ll read a few later in the hour.

Poor Lola is still not quit recovered from last night’s “Take Your Dog To The Bar Night”!

There, there, Lola. You’ll start feeling better after I find that radioactive tick with my geiger counter.

Get any closer to me with that mike and I’m barking for campus security!

I had nothing to do with that stain on the boss’s carpet

Yo quero Taco Bell….for the last time! or else I bite his finger!

I thought this would be better than living with Paris.

Seriously, that is the last time that i run the Iditarod!

John McCain: “So, if I scratch your belly, will you vote for me then?”

Actually it was easier to come to America than what I thought. I just dug and crawled threw a hole uder the fence, waited on the road, till a nice couple with kids picked me up, took me home as there pet. And here I am !

“Tell us again- what was it that Paris Hilton dressed you up in? I’m so sorry. That sounds horrible.”

“But I can’t go wee-wee with CNN and the world watching.”

geeeze, They say I need a green card and there are no benefits.

That bone looks formidable. I hope its not from CNN!

The news industry is pretty kind to dogs! Real glad not to be human. Ready for some canine quips??

Lola… the first contestant on Fox’s new show - K9 Idol!

You bone of a microphone! Don’t woo me! I’m Lola cool as Mazola. You’ve got to ski on oil to get me.

No way…when my brother spoke up, they put him in those stupid Taco Bell commercials.

I was told Anderson Cooper would be doing this interview himself; que pasa?

A tiny Chihuahua bean like me getting an interview from a giant burger like CNN?? Come on- you must be skidding!

Remember, it’s not the size of the dog at the mic; but the size of his woffers tweeters that count.

That shoe looks too big to chew and that mike is not a great bone substitute, but I’ll do anything to get my tiny paws on a free CNN T-shirt.

Going to work with my master was ok, it could have been better. I guess I expected too much. I only got 2 belly rubs,1 kiss, 5 she’s cute, and 3 dogie treats. I’m hoping to do better next time.

Bummer. I heard Wendy’s was merging with Taco Bell. Now then, how
do you make a square burrito?

Remember, it’s not the size of the dog at the mic; but the size of his woffers tweeters that count.

Escuse me, Senor, I should have taken some Beano before I ate that last taco.

Just trying to get my pecs in shape for the audition.

Ladies & Gentlemen, please meet CNN’s newest correspondant “Lola,” who will be covering stories that Anderson and Erica feel are “dogs”.

Needing privacy and alone time, Lola says “hasta la vista baby.”

Jenny Rome Ga

We got a bad rep. Please stop calling it a dog eat dog world out here.

If I win the talent contest by doing my “Copa Cabana” routine, do I get a Beat 360 t-shirt in an XXS and a filet mignon all to myself?

Can’t a dog go potty without a microphone in his snout? Does this jerk interview himself on the throne? Get away from me you freak!

Lola, do you have any comments before the race starts?

Can’t a girl get some privacy?

I’ll be ok, I just have the ” Flea biting Monday work place blues.”

As in the words of McCain- ” I consider myself the underdog and I’m old, very old.”

Yo quiero una camisa de “I won the Beat 360 Challenge”

Lola the Chihuahua protests people saying that the Bush administration has gone to the dogs…as an insult to dogs.

Having been dumped by Bruiser, Eddie and the Taco Bell dog, Lola gives her first interview promoting her new tell all book, “Men are such Dogs”.

Jenny Rome Ga

With gas prices being the way they are, my master turned me out to pan handle for my own dogie treats. How sad is that I ask you?

Now that the Democratic primaries are over, all the superdelegates are declaring their support for Bark Obama.

With gas prices so high we had to walk here instead of using the car, and no my name isn’t Yoda!

Lola hoping to assist Obama is capturing the Latino vote gives her first speech.

Jenny Rome GA

ps. Thanks for moving the time up for the pics. Now my children can blow the world up on World of War Craft with no interference from mom.!!!!!

“This is Thriller, Thriller night….”

or

You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin’ to? You talkin’ to me? Well I’m the only one here….”

I thought you said you could rap, Dawg?!

Yes, I did enter this country through Mexico and yes I do live in Paris Hilton’s purse, I have no further comments without my attorney!

First Paris Hilton’s purse and now this. I’m getting a new agent. Woof.

Lola:

“Times are lean. I used to be a Labrador”.

Lola the Chihuahua, being quite ambitious, practices to take over Anderson Cooper’s job one day.

Lola: “Please, don’t touch me! Just call my lawyer then an ambulance.”

I didn’t know that take your job to work day meant make your dog do the work. Creates new meaning for, “working like a dog.”

Seeing you people work made me appreciate how good my life really is.

Talk about outsourcing. This is getting ridiculous.

“Um, these opinion polls are really getting desperate, aren’t they?”

Glad that we are finally done with the primaries!

This is how I look after the primaries. Just wait for the general election!

” Thats a good girl, now tell us about that hazing incident with those boys in the locker room”

Tomorrow is “Call Your Human An ‘Idiot’ Day.”

Lola the chihuahua does an interview for her tell all book A Dog’s Tail. The book is causing a controversy because it claims that The Dog Whisperer is a fake.

Please don’t let me bark “La VIda Loca!”

“Oh no, too much tequila last night … Watch your shoe!”

I did’t know I got into Lou Dobbs backyard, he chased me to the border of his yard!

Deez corn prices eez killing my taco beezness. No quiero taco bill!

Running Springs, California

“You don’t have to go on your papers again honey, just tell us how you messed up the White House”

Just a violation of the leash law could send me packing .

Anderson Cooper’s career has gone to the dogs. He is too embarrassed even to be seen in the shot as he stoops to interview a pocket sized pooch.

When asked for his opinion on the Salmonella outbreak, Lola had this to say, “Give me a minute, E Coli cramp.”

They made me work as hard as a CAT today!

Hey, it’s a concrete jungle here, not a tree in sight and I really have to go. Sorry bud!!

Ok ok, my real name is Erica, and I live up the Hill.

“Can you please leave me alone! I’m trying to think of a caption for tonight’s Beat 360 challenge. Have you seen the new t-shirt?!”

Thank god for people like Al Gore. He is the only person who didn’t forget to mention about importing dog food from China……

You call this good investigative reporting , you must be an apprentice from Fox News .

Yo quiero una “I won the beat 360 challenge” camiseta.

What I’m doing to the carpet right now I like to call a Scooter Libby.

Please……. Erica, Cambell and all the ladies in CNN…… enough!! please I’m no Brad Pitt……..

No Lola… your not in Kansas anymore.

What do you mean I can’t do the 360 bulletin? I went white at a very early age!

Even I know there’s no way a Republican could get elected into the White House. By the way, my stud fee is being increased by 25% due to the rising gas prices.
(Obama’s voice: And I approve this message.)

My name is “Lola” L-O-L-A Lola, lo lo lo Lola

I was up all night with the other dogs, playing poker. I need a “Hair of the dog”

No, Really! I’m telling you, I just have a wide stance!!

Obama asked me to be ambassador too South America . I told him McCain asked me be offical taste tester for pet food from China . It was a no brainer . Hold the MSG .

“Grrrr-eat Scott-ish terriers! I don’t know if I can beat 360 for one of those cool T-shirts, but I’m pretty sure I can “lick” it!”

Reporter- Is it true that taco bell is using tomatoes that are not fda approved.

Taco Bell Chihuahua- No comment.

When you said let’s go to work, I thought we were going to the Copacabana. No flowers in my hair…No dancing… What kind of work do you do anyway?

That microphone reminds me of my ex, he was a dachshund. With a large cold nose.

Taco Bell looks to previous spokesdog for image building after suffering lost sales due to tomato challenges

Yikes! That thing reminds me of a Mastiff I once knew.

“Not a word until I get those shoes in my size”

“Shouldn’t have opted for tomatoes on my taco . . . “

Unemployed Chihuahua gets camera shy when auditioning for new sneaker commercial

From the look on Lola’s face, she wishes her owner had a cooler job…or, is in dire need of a fire hydrant.

I was trained by Caesar Milan to do this on command . So knocked it off , its not funny anymore .

Am I look like as a Saint Bernard?? I saw some huge red cats in public…lift me up in ur arms to perform our show.

Dude, your Oder Eaters aren’t working , back off.

Put away that picture of Lou Dobbs. It always scares her.

Well do I get one of those Tee’s for being ” Picture Of The Day ” ?

…And now a few words from our valedictorian.

“With gas prices so high, I can’t even afford to go to the grocery for my Scooby Snacks!”

OK, OK, so I made the Beat 360 pic of the day…can I go home now, please?

Lilibeth
Edmonds, WA

But I don’t know the words to the National Anthem, How about I sing ” I’ll Cry for you argentina ” .

Lola: get your hands off me, you’re a married man…

I may be small, but I am a giant in my own mind!

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
And while she tried to be a star
The big mic just went too far…

John McCain practice session “How to Win Votes” — TIckle their ear and they’ll follow me anywhere

From Lola’s perspective, if she works hard enough, one day she’ll be the big dog with the corner office.

I’ve got an amnesty card from Cuba , will that work ?

Had I known that my owner was an illegal alien, I wouldn’t have been subject to the damn INS raid. Ay Caramba! I’m too old for this crap, even a chihuahua can’t get a break in USA!

“Give me a moment - while I build the courage to tell Anderson that AC360 has helped me to become a giant world savy news aficionado” !

Lola’s giving a show and tell of the CIA leak case!

Celeste
Columbia, SC

Before you get any comment from me , get that smelly sneaker out from under my nose.

“Can you help me? I was with my mother and father and somehow we got separated. Mom is a Rotweiller, Dad is a Bull Mastiff”.

I might look dog tired but it’s just the fumes from that sneaker, amigo

“Give me a moment, Wolfe. I am building the courage to tell Anderson that he is my favorite anchor!”

Yes, it is hard to believe she used to put PINK nail polish on me!

You want to put THAT where?

Yo quero cooper for president

Okay Okay, Put down that silver orbit and I’ll slap you five

No yo BARKO en INGLESO, porque la lengua no es habla en mi casa!
Ay el gringo estupido!

Lola: George Carlin, you make my workdays go fast, we’ll miss you!!!
Jenifer
Boston, MA

Yes, I know my opinion matters. RIght now I am waiting for one of the candidates to say something that will make me stand up and bark !

Man, I worked like a dog today…. I want a dog’s life back!

Another America Idol contestant.

We know the show has gone to the “dogs” lately!

(Sung to CopaCabana by Barry Manilow)
Her name is LOLA she was a chihuaha with microphones and cameras everywhere as she sang at the Office Office cabana.

Monday’s Beat 360° viewer winner:

“Yo quiero that mic out of my face!”

Wow! That was one crazy frat party last night.

But Anderson, I don’t want to be on Planet in Peril… I’m not even an endangered species homes….

I can’t believe what my master does for a living! I’m speechless

Get that Mic out of my face…I could give a flying tortilla what you do for a living…

Lorie Ann, Buellton, Calif.

I’m asking for a raise in federal minimum wages for dogs. I have three children to feed!

¿It’s how far to San Jose? ¡Ay, Caramba!

Somehow this doesn’t feel like a private conversation or is that suppose to be a Star Wars lollipop in your hand?

“…you’re not with immigration are you?”

Alaina, Pittsburgh PA

Welcome to Canine-ian Idol! First up is Lola singing “Who Let the Dogs Out”

Must be a slow news day if me tinkling on the carpet is worth a headline.

You cannot convince me that I will look good wrapped in a flour torillia !

Lola: How come nobody talks about skyrocking pet foods on TV? Don’t pets have a representative in CNNMoney?

What about the border fence? No Comment.

At today’s press conference, Lola announced that chihuahuas would no longer speak for Taco Bell, but that they would go to Bark Obama.

Time for Lola to sing the anthem: “America woof….”