“I’ll take that big one”

Hey look there is my check for 130 million dollars….one dollar from each American I’ve fooled. Now that is economic stimulus at it’s best.

Pick a card, any card.

Let’s hope those shots of energy checks… have a better aim than mine…

Lorie Ann, Buellton, Calif.

I’ll take those!

Got my finger on that one!! Think Hillary would miss it??

That printer there is solely for overpayments to HALLIBURTON…

Mark S.
Sacramento, CA

What do you mean they are by numerical order? I told you that mine and Dubya’s were supposed to be first ! !

“Use invisible ink for all the registered Democrats.”

Cheney points out blank checks that will be tossed from the top of the Empire State Building.

Doesn’t look like much, but it should cover a tank of diesel!

If someone came in here with a gun, id hide right down there.

Dick Cheney : Yeah, all those checks going out to stimulate the economy. Once those suckers cash that check, we’ll tax’em on it and get more back! That’s how we pay the bills. HA HA HA.

See I told you guys, these checks will provide great help to the american people, more than myself or President bushie have in the past 8 yrs.

Beware the lead in the ink!

Cheney illustrates how he determines just who gets a check vs who gets an audit letter.

Deep below Gotham City the elusive Penguin plans his next diabolical scheme.

The Vice President casts his Voodoo Economics Spell over the stimulus.

Vice President. One of the few jobs left in the United States that hasn’t been outsourced.

“That’s just like the printer at my ranch.”

Got my finger on that one, is it going to HER campaign?

Ahhh, money, in any form, I just want to touch it, feel it, roll in it. Ahhh.

Off the record, but the Republican thought process is often as blank as that paper.

And the best part about it is that you could almost buy an entire barrel of oil with any one of these checks!

VIce President Cheney wears clear lenses to avoid dollar bills reflecting off his glasses.

The face value of the “shot of energy” depends on whether I use a 12 or a 20 GAUGE shotgun!

Mark S.
Sacramento, CA

To put the stimulus for the average American taxpayer into perspective, Cheney compares to the arms-length row of zeros at the end of his last Halliburton check.

I think I’ve found those missing e-mails.

Hey… Mind if I take one of these checks?

Dick Cheney inspects the new automatic “Waterboarding” torture machine.

Very impressive progress, guys, see? And these are just the ones for us Haliburton executives….

Amanda Bernard
Charleston, SC

oh! there’s my check! Can I just have it now? I need a new shot gun.

So let me get this strait…We’re giving them a loan on the money that we plan on taking from them next year. Has anybody told them that it was their money to begin with? No? Good.

Hey that’s not recycled paper is it?

Are these all the checks going out?… Good!

“I command you to STOP !”

Is this the Halliburton batch?

Are these all the checks going out?.. Good! That’s enough.

Gifts from a few Canadian investors.

To boost economic confidence Cheney does his famous Senor Wenses impersonation.
‘It it alright?’
“S’alright!”

Them there checks are for all my friends serving time on my behalf.

Can Obama and Hillery both fit in this?

Get down!!!! oh, it’s just his arm….

Vice President Cheney fails the random sobriety test.

We make way more money than this at Halliburton!

Put your left arm in, put your left arm out . . .

That’s how you fix the economy! Print some more!

Government loan at 23.9% interest in disguise. But, who’s going to read the fine print?

“Not as much fun as a shot and a deer.”

Send this batch to Florida and Michigan. Tell them we care.

It just looks like I am pointing my finger, but really I am pointing my super secret fingertip gun….and if I swing around real fast….and shoot….who knows whose face I can hit. YOU BETTER DUCK!

…then I shot at the quail and turned this way to wave at Harry Whittington…or…wait a minute… did I wave at the quail and…uh oh

“I wonder how close I can get before my sleeve gets caught”

Kim, Bolingbrook, IL

All of them checks are going to bounce because Bush and I have bankrupt the USA!!!

So…when the stack gets this high you can stop printing checks for Halliburton employees and start working on the rebate checks

“Officer, I’m not as thunk as you drink I am.”

“Just look for the envelope with MY picture on it.”

That one is Oberman’s. Pull it.

There’s a big difference between a stimulus check and a gas tax holiday! One’s a gimmick and the other’s a…….

Oh look, it’s moving. Somebody hand me my rifle.

….and then without explanation the Vice President broke into one of his famous pop-lock dance moves.

That one is Cooper’s. Lose it.

Only 5 of them will contain a Golden Ticket.

“The power of Cheney compels you! Have some effect on the economy! Pretty pretty please?? With a cherry on top?!”

“. . . a shot of energy at the right time and in the right way” feels more like a BB pellet!

Geez…I don’t know what all the fuss is about!! It’s so easy to print money even I can do it.

“Postdate till after the election !”

In an effort to streamline the Stimulus Plan Vice President Dick Cheney decides to skip the taxpayers and have the checks sent directly to Wal-Mart.

Cash ‘em fast! Expiration date of May 15th!

Astonishingly, it is the same way Santa picks who’s been good and and who’s been bad.

Cheney: And that’s where we hid the Florida ballots

(Marietta, Georgia)

Here we go again, the Republicans are printing money that is no good.

Inside everyone of these envelopes you’ll find a slip that says:
Inspected by #2

Well, guess that’s the last of them! We’ve run out of ink.

Now this machine is the one that told us where the weapons of mass distruction are…….

“O.K., I’ll show you one more time. Point it at your target, eye on the target, pull the trigger, and…BANG!”

Bud Curtis
Miami, OK
U.S.A.

Costs more to print these suckers than their face value!

oohhhh, i see a penny.

Make my stack this high.

Here’s the Plan!! We’ll stretch the dollar so it’ll seem like more!

My gift for Jenna’s wedding.

“How much longer do I have to stand here?? I’m supposed to go hunting with Jenna’s fiance tonight…”

Cheney points out the amount of checks to go out is lower than expected due the republcans failing to remind the poor and elderly that had to file a return.

Stimulus checks?! Ha!
These are the invites to the Jenna Bush wedding.

“How much longer do I have to stand here? I’m supposed to go hunting with Jenna’s fiance tonight…”

Bree
Indianapolis, IN

“See that waste basket? It’s where we file the checks for people we don’t like.”

Cost poor Sptitzer about that much for a “date”!

“What? They have no bread? Let them eat checks!”

Cheney points to where you insert a Gitmo prisoner for “Questioning”.

My boss just called my cell phone and is furious. He wants to know why are government workers wasting the people’s money over there by ironing their shirts during business hours?

No checks for Hillary or Barry O.

Just like the search for Iraqi “weapons of mass destruction, that’s too little too late!

King Midas reaches out to touch the People.

These are actually “gas rebates” that we call ESP.

George W. & I are giving these to the White House staff as their annual bonus.

SEE THAT!!! WHO SAY’S WE NOT THE PARTY FOR EVERYONE!!!!!

Cheney acts out a heist scene from the upcoming Tarentino flick where he plays Mr White (who else.)

“QUICK !…PRINT MORE MONEY !”

Yes, of course I wear a flag pin every where I go. Makes folks think I’m patriotic. ha!

NO BUCKS FOR YOU!!!

Now, this used to be entirely dedicated to printing our check to Halliburton, but Bush has decided to let you “regular folks” in on this check run.

“and that check will go out to KBR, please spell it correctly, KILL, BAG, and REPLACE.”….he he he

I know they were supposed to be a few hundred dollars each, but we gave it more thought & decided that folks would be happy with anything extra. So, this is the $2.00 grouping.

Just moments after this picture was taken there was uncomfortable moment when Cheney ran into Dan Quayle working in the mail-room.

The U.S. government’s new “scratcher” lottery tickets arrive!

Hillary called & said she needed a few extra bucks. Told her I’d send these right over.

If Hilary and Obama continue to roll into their fights, the democrats will stand just that high near me in november!

Whew! After all this hard work, I’m going to need some vacay in Ligonier!

Looks like Xerox to me!

If Hilary and Obama continue to roll into their fights, the democrats will stand just that high near me in november!

From Munich, Germany

This would make a great gun rack. Just load it in my pickup.

Minor problem with a hacker. Each check is for $1,000,000.00.

“I feel like Oprah. You get a check and you get a check. Everybody gets a check!”

” The air is good for the finger, most of the time I just sit on it”

Trying to get them all mailed out before postage rate increases!

” We put the “owe” in Wyoming”

“Oh you’re looking for hunting rifles? I know where they are! Just go over that direction, to Sporting Goods! Say, would you like to go hunting with me? “

- Every night after the staff leaves Vice president Cheney sprinkles his magic stimulus dust on every check before it heads to your door. -

Ben
St Louis, Mo

“Pay no attention to the Chinese behind the curtain”

“One for me, one for George, one for me, one for George,……”

And you say we can torture….I mean “question” 20 times more Gitmo prisoners with this thing.

” Chickenfeed”

send these to Haliburton.

“Where’s Bush? I’d rather be destroying the ozone layer !”

” I’ve killed thousands with this finger”

c’mon pull my finger

Seeing as I’m here. Do you guys suppose you could take these sleeves in a bit?

Wow! That’s the same machine that printed out all my Viet Nam deferments!

Same as it ever was,
Same as it ever was,…

Dont break up the set! The stimulus money comes with the monopoly board right over there!

I’de send all these checks to Anderson if he would just answer my calls….(sigh.)

Dick Cheney’s attempt to levitate the economy

Thats paper…. What is it good for that’s it fake ballads.I’ll take 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

Looks like I hit the Powerball!

DO YOU MEAN I SUPOSE TO SHOOT AT THE PAPER!?

steve ramsey
alberta- high level

well…my share should be up to that much..

steve ramsey
high level, alberta

Federal aid to the governor of Nevada so that he can buy the mansion back.

” And over here we’re printing out an enemies list so the McCain administration can hit the ground running.. … What’s your name?”

…..Ladies and Gentlemen, I am asking you now:
“DEAL OR NO DEAL”???

if you can put some weed on it…it will be perfect joint for the democratic party

steve

For his next trick The Incredible Dick attempts to cast a spell which will ensure sufficient funds to cover the stimulus checks.

Is that a Benjamin in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Ought to be able to buy myself a good hunting dog with that! Maybe I’ll pick up one for Hillary, too.

See those checks, I can use the “FORCE” and send them out instantly!
May the “FORCE” be with you!

I could use some cash. Can i get mine out of there?

Shark’s bait.

do you see that garbage box behind the paper…thats where i keep all the people complains…

steve ramsey
alberta- canada

Lets play monopoly I’ll use monopoly money, you’ll use real money.

yes ,you stand over her and i go load my gun dont worry i am asharp shoter

steve

Because he’ll see him on the links this weekend anyway, Cheney decides to save the government some postage by delivery the check for Richard Mellon Scaife personally.

This is the new, improved water-board … it’s frozen.

And then I shot him just like this.

” Oh man! I better put my arm down, that deodorant just doesn’t work…come to think of it neither do I.”

Are those for Reverend Wright?

“Doing this almost makes me feel human……..NAH !”

Clark… Clifford… CLINTON! Well gosh darn, she really did file taxes this year.

And right over here is where civil liberties came to die.

And over here we have…. umm… some checks…. HEY! Is that my letter to Santa under the table?

that’s who i am endorsing for the president of the united states

This is the stretcher they are going to put me on when I have my next heart attack.

Somebody please tell Dubya that he really doesn’t have to sign each check himself.

I don’t really give a darn if Hillary is having trouble with fundraising. I’m the Vice President and I say she’ll have to wait on her rebate check just like everyone else.

“SUPER-SIZE ALL CHECKS TO REPUBLICAN PACS !”

Can we lose the “Made in China” stamp?

Dick Chaney is saying.

Hey, do you see that machine right there, I own the sucker!

Dick Cheney visits the recently opened Torture Research and Development wing of the White House (formerly the seldom used International Law Library).

Really, they’re a gift. No strings attached. Really. None at all….

Simon says Stop the Recession.

Raise Your Left Arm.

. . . .sorry, Mr. Cheney, we didn’t say “simon says.”

…my - mo-ther - told - me - to - pick - this - one - so - you - are - not - getting - a - stimulus.”

Hey George, Pull my finger.

This is how we print out no bid contracts!

This is the machine that makes our anti-Liberal propaganda flyers

That yell’r dog looked up at me… growled… I took out my pistol
just like this…. BAMM! Rabbies or not… it was a good shot.

Tell me again. How many hours do I have to work at minimum wage to earn one of those?

cheney learned the best way to control the conservative media: Go to a newspaper printing factory

“I’d love to bring one home but mine grows on trees.”

“I’d rather be shooting embittered peasants in Ligonier.”

Destroy the ones for everyone who makes over $100,000 a year. And, double the ones for everyone who makes under $25,000. I want to be remembered for doing something decent.

If that one’s not going to Haliburton, I’ll shoot ya!

And this is the machine that is currently keeping my heart pumping. Hopefully it will also keep McCain alive a few extra years.

Cheney training for his new career because he will be finding himself unemployed very soon!

i want to eat that paper

Hey, Howie! Deal or no deal?

makes sure its nice and crunchy for me to eat

American Flag Pin- $5
Stimulus check for a Single American- $300
Knowing that in 7 months this man will no longer be in office- $PRICELESS

Randomly selected checks disintegrate 12 hours after delivery.

maybe if i take that paperi could make her sign a contract of leaving the the race for the white house.

maybe if i could give the America this paper and we could possibly make the super delegates and people vote for us.

Here’s where we keep the ballots in case we need them come November…

To take liberty with a quote from a favorite movie of mine…

“You smell that? Do you smell that? Money, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of money in the morning.”

maybe if i took paper i could make a contract for Hillary Clinton to sign it that shes is getting out of the race for the white house.

” I love the smell of check ink in the morning”

maybe we should trick America in buying these papers by saying it is worth 1 million dollars but we give them for 100 dollars for it.

” If these checks were quail, they would all be dead by now.”

And this machine, one of Haliburton’s finest, is the fastest check producing machine in America. Of course 10% of all the money goes to me.

oo paper let me have it.

So I pointed like this, and said “Luke, I am your father.”

As you can see, we are a mere 7 million counterfits away from the cure to a resession.

Make sure that Pelosi doesn’t know the secret code to the printer!

wait did i tell you to make that piece of paper i said to make it look me.

Wyoming?

lets trick people in eating that paper.

My money printer doesn’t look anything like this one!

Janet, USA via Toronto, Ontario, Canada

lets make Hillary figures out of that paper because i want to have her for breakfast yum.

See that printer over there ? That baby is my favorite one,that’s the one that prints the Haliburton checks.

Just load that box full in my trunk. I’ll hand deliever them. He, He, He!

What we pay James Carville & Lanny Davis for all their help!

when i die i want to be laid on that piece of paper.

Just load that box full in my trunk. I’ll hand deliever them. He, He, He!

See officer, I can touch my nose.

That’s it? Wheww!

maybe when my candidate becomes president we will force people to wear paper.

maybe we should start making paper look like its going to eat you.

Cheney’s stimulus checks turned out to be coupons good for “buy one meal, get one at half price” at the local Denny’s.

hello little paper you look like beautiful checks.

Cheney imagining all the things he’ll be able to buy with his cheque: “…ooh, and a yo-yo!”

Cheney dispelling rumors that he has something up his sleeve.

I thought i would save you the postage and pick mine up personally.

hey you guys said it was my lovely checks! Are you trying to make me cry.

Can we adjust this thing to add a few extra zero’s to mine?

And here we see Vice President Cheney taking a break from killing
things to enjoy watching checks being printed. What a guy!

Rumor has it Hillary asked Cheney to contribute the stimulus checks to her campaign!

Eenie…meenie…miney….mo…….theres .so much about the economy that I don’t know!!!!!!

” Trickle, trickle, little sum. Put the Country on the bum.
When the People all are broke, then we’ll laugh, enjoy the joke.”

Well, you know, at John McCain’s & my age, money is a pretty good stimulant!

The rich get richer, and the poor get to pay some of their bills

No, they aren’t rubber checks. And, no, they won’t bounce.

“Print mine for Euros.”

” Noooo,sir. I won’t send any of this money to the Democratic Party!”

No, of course money won’t buy love or happiness. But, it’s a pretty good distraction!

“Address mine to the DNC”

Are you sure we got the check from China to cover these?

Jim Handy
Inglewood , Calif.

“There are 5 golden stamps printed on 5 random checks here - winners get a tour of Haliburton Headquarters and its secret underground Chocolate Factory.”

Don, WA.

“Make one out for: Dues, Rolling Rock Hunt Club, Ligonier.”

sometimes i just like papers sooooooooooooooooooooooo much.

Post Date this stack here…heh heh heh, for all registered Democrats that is. MUHAHAHA!

“Is that a pastry press? Pass me the Duck”.

Cheney, consumed by his own power, tries to actually write the checks with his own finger.

“Listen, HE’S the one who printed ‘Cheney D.’ on all these cheques, not me!”

So…..Why are we doing this again? Oh to raise our our approval rating.

Dear CNN

I forgot to put in that I’m from Canada.
Gerald High

” I could see my face on that $100 dollar bill.”

From Brisbane, Australia, as above also, sorry.

cool paper

o my god its the evil paper everybody run its going to come alive and it us.

ah i love the smell of money being made.

o my god is that the money i asked for! I am never making this company make money for me again.

” NOW ! LISTEN HERE.. I’LL take a boxfull of these checks for safekeeping…! can’t leave these lying around here .. now can we?@

The Democrats are gonna feel this small when I beat them in November.

He is living proof that man can live without a brain!

Those democrats are gonna feel this tall when I beat them in November……..

One picture is worth a thousand comments.

Pay no attention to man behind the curtain…………

Yes! But can you replace the paper with rubber?

Thats how much I made in Iraq

And this is the machine we print the rubber checks on…

Damodar
San Diego CA

” Are you sure these checks will get to the people BEFORE the election.. what’s the problem here???

Is that where mine and Dubya’s unemployment check will be printed come next year?

Because of me, that trash is worth more than the dollar.

wow so this is how checks are made i never knew that

Don’t interrupt I’m counting, so far I’m at 360……..

“Good job Brownie. You see that little wastebasket back there? Send that garbage to the ‘little people’. The big one behind it is for my special interest friends. (wink!wink!)

You say you’re looking for hunting goods?? Over that way, in the Sports Department. Happy Hunting!

Cheney pointing to crumpled up checks in waste paper basket… If you guys are just going to be throwing that out, then could I take it to go? … Afterall, I am going to be out of work soon!

and optionally add…

… and if the Dems pull us out of Iraq, I probably won’t get a Halburton Iraq consultant job when I leave office, so as always, I’ll take money whereever I can get it. Money is my God and this place is like a temple of worship for a guy like me!

Cheney says the economic stimulus checks going out to more than 130 million Americans are “a shot of energy at the right time and in the right way.” And let us hope that his aim for that shot i better than when hunting!

George, how many times have I told you not to play hide and seek unless your in the Oval office. Come on out, now. I see you right there.