See the crazy things I have to do to get noticed and do you want to see my belly ? and btw I need a new best friend.

April in Austin Texas

…If you show me real love baby, I’ll show you mine….

Everything I mispeak turns to gold

“But I thought pit hair was acceptable in your country?! Isn’t it HOT!”

Bring me the head of John the Baptist

HMMM…do you think if I wear this it’ll hide me from the paparazzi!?

Cynthia, Covington, Ga.

Turkey? Tastes like chicken.

Your royal heiress says: How do you like your mask Billary…
Billary says: Works just fine for me. Now, I really can run for cover..

“Hello Turkey people, like, uhhh, where are the turkey’s?”

Daddy said I could take over the Hilton AND the Ottoman Empires when I grow up! That’s sicak!

Perhaps if I put this on, people will forget that all I am is a pretty face.

Jenn
Monrovia, CA

Give me all of your sticks, this is a money-up;
No, wait…I’ll give you my money, this is a stick-up;
No, that’s not right….Give me all of, oh, never mind!!

Didn’t you say “Put your money where your mouth is”?

360’s newest co-anchor being kept under wraps…that’s HOT!!
Guess who!?

Cynthia, Covington, Ga.

Oooh… shiny!

This is my retirement fund…..$1000.00 per coin…any takers????!!!!

Wardrobe! We’re gonna need a full burkha for this one!

I just love shiny things around my mouth

I didn’t think it was possible, but I think I look HOTTER!

A sigh of relief went through the room as soon as the clingy clangy sound of the veil drowned out PH’s speech….

That’s hot! No seriously, I can’t breathe with this thing on.

Nicky,
Charlotte, NC

“These fake coins represent all the money I have ever given away, or made! Yay for me!”

Turkish Delight….not.

How to dress fashionably for a royal stick-up, and still look hot !

How much skin can I show in this country?

“she who must not be named”
Muzzled ? … now THAT”S HOT!

From,
John
San Francisco, CA

Stock market in the Middleast just closed…..$1,000,000 per coin…..Let the bidding begain!!!!

For her next trick, she who will not be named will vanish from the public scene.

Officer, will this count toward my community service?

Paris Hilton informs the world that…Every gal in Constantinople
Lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople So if you’ve a date in Constantinople She’ll be waiting in Istanbul…”

Think of the money & time I would save, on lip stick & gloss !

SWF-blonde hair,slim,wealthy, and now Kinky looking for SWM

Your belly dancing is impressive, but we still demand that the US stop supporting Isreal, Madam President.

” i got $523 for my old gold jewelry”

WHOA - Check out her grill!!

Do I wear this around my head, neck or below my waist? This fashion is new to me.

“So like do I look like Goldie Hawn from the movie Protocal or what? That’s Hott!!!”

“Like really, this is so weird. I’d look so much better if I used this as my skirt, I have just the shoes to match”

Why did Nicole Ritchie get the works?
That’s nobody’s business but the Turks!

So what will it be Ms Hilton? One hump or two?

I’ll use this as a theme for my next basement party and only serve food from Turkey…turkey sandwiches!

At least I don’t look like a “Fool” in “Istanbul”

After 2 hours she still can’t get it untied.

No Paris!!! That’s not what it means to put your money where you mouth is!!!

If I had a belly, I’d dance for ya!

Do these come in infants? I wanna get one for Nicole’s baby girl.

“She-who-must-not-be-named” attempts to disguise her identity while visiting Turkey in the hopes that she won’t be held accountable for any good will promises she might accidentally make.

“She who must not be named” has decided to take up a life of crime, and is trying on her latest “fashion mask”.

LET ME GET THIS RIGHT. MISS TURKEY IS JUDGING MISS TURKEY?

CAMERON COX
WINNIPEG,CANADA

“Maybe if go undercover I’ll be able to find someone to be my BFF!”

Seems like a fair exchange: 45 days in a LA County Jail versus just 3 in Turkish Prison.

Isn’t this the appropriate attire to wear in a Muslim country?? Whoops!! I’m bad.

An heiress with a harness

And ya don’t serve tea on the tarmack!!!!!

THESE ARE 24KT. RIGHT? I ONLY WEAR 24KT!

This is me, doing my best to “help” humanity!

So does this mean Trump was too busy?

Maybe this disguise will keep the paparazzi off me!

“I’ve got the money, honey, if you’ve got the time!”

Don’t I look “Sheik”

What do you mean ‘It’s panties?”

Fools gold!

Paris can run but she cannot hide!

Yeah -like -ya know -my arms are getting really sore- how long is this contest gonna take?

Turks and Jerks on display in Istanbul!

Now we’re talking Turkey!

Paris “like my ancient grillz?”

While there she plans to shoot a new video - “Midnight Empress”

Fianlly, Paris gets to be the judge!

Guess where the Simple Life girls are going this season.

I know we’re in Turkey but do you guys serve chicken?

Cleverly disguised Martha Stewart makes her get-away during an Istanbul bank job.

Paris starts a trend of wearable inheritance.

“I want to bring veils back in Style to help Ugly girls everywhere.”

“Paris tries to hide from her probation officer in Turkey. “

Paris, daaaaaaaling, you better not drink and drive in Turkey or you trade your gilded cage for a Turkish prison!

I bet this is the first time anything has ever covered her mouth during a soical event.

Does this come with matching panties?

The only terrorist to wear a golden mask

On the next, Simple Life 3….

“Untie knots? I still haven’t figured out how to undo Velcro…”

Peek-a-boo!

Ah, oh. What would I like to see?
I would like, y’know, world peace.

Jack Magestro
Hartland, WI

“She without talent” does a photo op for her latest book, “belly dancing for dummies”.

Obama girl is played out. introduceing mccain girl

“How am I supposed to judge this contest, anyway? Don’t all turkeys look pretty much alike?”

Ha, ha! I like, y’know, hope you like my coin collection.
Isn’t it, like totally, cool?

Jack Magestro
Hartland, WI

Getting swarmed by paparazzi while on tour? $50,000. Self-muzzled in front of the media? Priceless.

I really wanted some new piercings, but I had to settle for this.

Jack Magestro
Hartland, WI

If you check out my armpits, you can tell I’m not really from Turkey.

Jack Magestro
Hartland, WI

What would James Carville do for those 30 pieces of gold?

Etta Mae Robinson
North Carolina

Her version of a chastity belt.

Okay, how’s this one?

Shortly after her release from jail, the American heiress, Paris Hilton, promised to turn away from her wayward ways and turn over a new leaf. In an attempt to keep her promise, Ms. Hilton left for Turkey, seeking truth and a more meaningful life, and thus, has vowed to “Take the veil.”

JPH, NY

“Got Turkish Milk?”

I thought that robbing daddy was easier than robbing banks, but that’s before I found this couture veil. Do you know where I can score a leopard print pistol?

Zahir, Los Angeles

“Me and Michael Jackson are going to rob a train.”

The world’s Most Overrated Celebrity in another act of reckless accessorizing.

…Finally bored of golden eggs, Veruca turns to currency.

Somebody found a cute way to hide her latest outbreak…

I’mmmm HOTTTTTTTT

$30, 000.00 please.

After baring it all to the public, Paris seeks coverage behind the veil.

JPH, NY

She who is nameless, becomes famous, for being faceless.

“I’m really excited to be here, I’ve never seen a turkey in an eveving gown before.”

Finally, an intelligent move…..Paris can’t speak!!!

This is my new recovery program, cover it up.

Turkey, I thought we were gonna eat chicken?

Put your money where you mouth is.

Amazing! I’ll never have to eat again. Wait…I won’t be able to do what? Get this thing off of me!

Here is the new fashion on how to cover up your recent plastic surgery.

Ok. What about now? Can you tell it’s me?

Is this a Turkish witness protection program? Or just more Istanbul?

Ms H modelling the latest home detention device.

Here I go! I’m am now putting on my “thinking cap”. Ha! And people think I’m just pretty.. . . ”

Betty Ann
Nacogdoches,Tx

Seriously, dude - they said you have to wear that the whole time you’re here. What’s that? I can’t hear a word you’re saying.

My new skill is belly-dancing–it’s what I’m doing instead of bible study and helping the poor……..

“hmm…this really is the ’simple life’…”

Is this a Turkish witness protection program? Or just more Istanbul?

I am missing this too my little pig. This is a live program. I can not almot see it.

Chimbote
PERU

hey look how this coins shine more when the lligth reflects. Humm.

Ms. No-name pays tribute to patriarchs “Bare-on” and “Coinrad” Hilton.

Eliot……Eliot…..Oh, Eliot…………..

Introducing: the “Turkey” of the Conrad Hilton family!

Put your money where your mouth is and cities may rise up and praise you.

Mustafa’s hot on the kuruş, but I’d be hotter.

This turkey needs her turkey pits plucked.

Does this veil make me look fat?

Still a turkey by any other name…….

Marti

Illinois

Ohhhhh….After all the fuss they made when I got out of my car with Brittany. I had this on the whole time and they never even noticed.

come on. Hillary, you are overdoing it now. This is not getting you anywhere.

MORTAL KOMBAT!!!

Do think you this makes me look fat?

The simple life goes to Turkey
Yeah , That’s Hot!

I’m sick of being known as just a pretty face. For once, I’m going to let my body do the talking.

“Wait, if I’m in Turkey, where are all the turkies?
Gooble Gooble”

An arabaian” Night In Paris”

Peek-a-boo!! I see you!!

(Now you see me), now you dont!

If you want my body and you think I’m sexy
Come on, sugar, let me know

“Where does this go? Is it like a bandanna, cuz thats hot!”

Kristin Sorianosos
Chula Vista, California

a Turkey in Turkey

Gold plated chastity mask.

Reggie- Atlanta, GA

“Wait!! I’m a judge? I thought I was the hot one!! Thats so NOT HOT.”

Kristin Sorianosos
Chula Vista, California

With all my problems, my family ask mee to shop for a new family. Move over blacket, michael jackson will be my new daddy.

Joseph Smith
Baton Rouge

Heiress officiates Turkish beauty pageant, declares herself the winner.

Maybe this will get me back on the TV circuit. Click, Click, Click

Veiled bimbo demands attention; Turkey gobbles it up.

“Next time I need a Turkey fix I’ll just watch my last movie”
- Paris Hilton

Nice veil- Have a whale of a time either in Paris or in Istanbul: Love paparazzi!

Heiress saves world by officiating beauty pageant. World says thanks.

“We’ll always have Paris, said the Paparizzi”

Hmmmm . . . . Not only is this a hot accessory . . . . but these coins could come in handy posting bail.

Acting like a fool again. “What EVER!”

Veils with gold coins is not only the fashion rage in Turkey but great for hiding from the paparrazzi and covering up the unspeakable (cold sores)!!

I knew Barbara Eden , and Lady you are no Barbara Eden.

I must cover my face with my panties so that I will not be mistakeningly chosen as the most beautiful winner.

This is like Casablanca….I did a movie with a character named Rick once……

Hey, its Clinton stealing your vote!

I am invisible now and still ” HOT”!!!

Sweet ! A vail you can use as bail.

Bush Look at my eyes we are going to occupy Iraq

“I forgot to put on deoderant.”

Funny with her hair up like that , She kind of looks like the little blond boy, on Duth boy paint cans.

Saint John NB Canada

No Miss Hilton, the blindfold goes a little higher than that.

I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HAVE NOTHING TO SAY! TELL THEM LARRY YOU KNOW.

hmmm… I hope this fashion accessory doesn’t ruin my image with the Turkish people. My taste is usually impeccable!

Playa Del Rey, CA

Figuring out Ms. Hilton was just like a Turkey,(has a habit of staring up at the rain with mouth open.) Her Publicist took precautionary measures to prevent drowning.

Not wanting to follow in Ashlee’s footsteps, the Hotel Heiress veils her mouth in an attempt mask her “singing” skills.

My armpits stink….

Tune in next week as “she who must not be named” and bff Nicole attact the Kurds in Northern Iraq on the next episode of “The Simple Life 6–Mosul Mountain High”.

I heard someone say it’s time for CHANGE!

disposable razor…$ 1.99
paris covering up…priceless

Don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot lake me!!!!

I wonder if people will look past my money and see the real me?

Hands UP! Don’t move or I’ll shoot!

Don Koons
Rome, NY

After eating a bowl of goulash, heavy on the curry and short of tic tacs,Paris has no choice but to don the veil.

now you see me, now you don’t. WAIT, what am i doing i want you to see me, all of me.

“that’s hot. watch me take it off”

chevy chase, MD

Paris…. always trying to cover herslef up……..NOT!!

Evan,Charleston,S.C.

Do you have a matching thong?

What do you mean what am I doing? I always put my panties on like this.Duhhhhh.

A Turkish Delight for the paparazzi,or aTootsie Roll model for girls?

In other news, the Turkish Lira was devalued today.

And to Mrs. Clinton, the next time you’re memory is kind of cloudy… try this.

Are there are more any countries in the world that haven’t heard me sing!?!

Jeannie had a daughter and now she has her own show. It’s “I Dream of Paris!” starting this fall!

“Your face reminds me of the back of an Arrowhead Water delivery truck…”

The Simpleton Life tapes a segment in Turkey.

Mmmm… I’m glad I used chocolate coins for the back row of this veil.

Is this upside down ?????

I have begun my world tour to raise awareness on poverty. I only spent ten thousand dollars on this veil, now that is hot.

ok Larry King I’ll keep my promise to volunteer after I do “The Turkey Belly Dance”

Glamour: Don’t

IF I wear this cute thingymabob, maybe they won’t stone me to death for my lack of morality!

The party is over . The fat lady has sung. It is time to call in the dogs. The last dance is over . The cows have come home. The eagle has made a landing. To put it in a nut shell, the party thing just does not work for you any more.So put the party toy down, and go home.

“This garment smells. So not hot.”

“Well they cant seem to find Osama Bin Laden, maybe they wont see me”

“Silence is Golden” - Paris Hilton style…

yeah i’d wanna cover my face too if i can’t identify my favorite bible passage…

Who’s the cheapo who gave you the dime?
HILTON: They all did

Hey !
I found this neat way to see if your panties will fit right, you wrap them around your face and if they touch on the backside, they will fit on the backside, er wait, these aren’t panties!

this is for the turkish bathhouse,hope noone reconizes me.

How do you like my new retainer?

judging a beauty contest is the first step of doing some good for the world… a giant leap for me…

Maybe if I cover up my face, Anderson Cooper will forget that I have done nothing to get to where I am today.

Did you say underwear or unaware?

Joe Szost, Clinton corners, NY

Oh, you mean a blindfold goes over the eyes?