See, I washed then both, the right hand after I ate and the left one after I, well, it's clean!

"It's a good thing your not a Texas Lawyer, I'd have to shoot ya"!

No, really, it's called hunting! Yes, we use guns to shoot ANIMALS. It's very relaxing...

"......and then I yelled 'INFIDEL' and shot him in the face !"

Cheney: "So you just roll it up and tie it on your head"?

I would have brought a gift, but, we're broke.

Who loves you...Baby?

"It's amazing how much you resemble Vicente Fox, are we cloning you guys or what ?"

(really he looks just like Fox)

I promise if you give us control of all of your oil we will really make it worth your while! Have we ever lied to you!?

Cynthia, Covington, Ga.

"Are you serious? You've never even *heard* of curds and whey?"

-Dan Manes, San Diego, CA

" Hey Vicente, LUUUV the new get up ! Where can I get a sash like that ?"

President Massoud Barzani: So Mr. V.P Cheney why aren't you dressed for our safari hunt?

V.P Cheney: WELL! President Barzani...that may pose a problem.....I've been known to be trigger happy sometimes.

Look! It's cool dude, I DON'T have a shotgun in my hands!!

"I'd love to shake but I can't remember which hand you guys wipe with ! "

"You can see for yourself there's no blood on my hands"

Oil, yes I drink oil Mr. President.

Venice, Ca

please believe me, I didn't say shock and awe,I said we need chaka kahn,but George just ran with it.

So you see, thats exactly how democracy works. Neither hand has the M&M.

" Hey I'll be looking for a job in a few months. If you have anything in the Department of Death and Destruction.....keep me in mind, I'm great with kids too !"

Five years later and I still have received no oil revenues.
Whats up with that!!

Gee's Massoud, you don't expect me to wear the table cloth do you?
I hear if you wear that thing too much your hair will fall out. I don't have that much to lose!

But Massoud, please let me explain. Anything for you!

If I was wearing that hat I would be all over YouTube and Fox news!

" REALLY ? a paper bag ?.....there's gotta be a toilet around here somewhere !"

"I'm from the government and I'm here to help you!"

I swear to God, I am a better shooter now. Let's go hunting.

"All of my security guards have the same blood type as me......whenever my heart gives out we just cut one of theirs out and replace it. They are doing a great service to their country. So whats new with you?"

Hadji – my' Man!!
How is Johnny Quest doing?

Obama is a lier. One day he says he never heard any racist remarks while in church from White and today he states he did.

I vote for Ginger's line:

"March 18th, 2008 4:09 pm ET

Five years later and I still have received no oil revenues.
Whats up with that!!"

Hilarious!

"So I was out hunting (LOL)..."

"You like me? You really like me?"

Yes, I am going bald too, that's why I wear this turban. You should get one.

No really? Do you, understand, the words that are coming out of my mouth?

I know you said come alone but I don't drive!!

Cheney: Really, since the last time I saw you Mr. Barzani, you've toned those buns to perfection!

Barzani: awww thank you!

Mr. Bush never asks for a second favor once he's refused the first, understood?

(with apologies to The Godfather)

So Massoud, I heard that when you were a child, you liked to watch Bugs bunny cartoons. My favorite cartoon character was Elmer Faud. I don't know why I like Elmer Faud, but I can relate to him.

I swear we only invaded Iraq for the WMD's not the oil! Why would I lie....see my fingers aren't even crossed!

Cynthia, Covington, Ga.

I'm sober! See? My hands aren't even shaking. I can gurantee you that there is NO way I'd mistake that head of yours for a quail.

C'mon Massoud, just let me borrow the headwrap, my head is burning up and I forgot my sunblock!

Cheny: You want a pice of me?

Cheny: Do I really need to kiss this guy?

"See, I knew you'd like my smiling shark impression....and don't worry about those two guys standing next to the car."

Cheny: Just as I took aim at that bird, my buddy stands up!

Look,

Like I said before.

The check is in the mail!

If you don't believe me ask George.

So let me see if I got your message right?
Mr Jerry Seinfeld – Very, very bad man!
Is that it?

Did you see that shot

Wow!

Not me...

Tiger!

shotting friends is really easy. you just raise, point and fire. then you wash your hand of it like this.

Cheney: "I've got a good one! – So one evening Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John McCain walk into a bar, and...."

COME ON TRUST ME!! IT WONT HURT

Yeah, you see the last time I was here there was this HOT belly dancer with....

Who is this guy eavesdropping ? I can just choke him if you like? Ralph Allentown P.A.

What do you mean why did we call it "shock and awe"? I mean, aren't you shocked and awed that we're still here 5 years later.

Nicky,
Charlotte, NC

Try to say it ,it's easy, rolls off the tip of your tongue.
H A L I B UR T O N

President Moussaud,

Right now there are people putting words in our mouths

so they can be placed on Anderson 360'

Could you beleve that?

The nerve of some people.

PSST. Is this my good side?

In honor of St Patrick's day I bring you this crystal filled with....whoops, it slipped.

...and then I showed him his heart before he died.

Your still going to sell back my Halliburton stock....right??

Cheney: "It's Slinky... It's Slinky... it's fun for a girl and a boy... okay, I admit the song is more fun when you've got an actual Slinky in your hands..."

"You can see it for yourself, my hands are clean"

You are smuggling weapons of mass destruction into Iraq.

No I am not

Yes you are!

No, I, am not

You and GW call us stupid, don’t you.

No, towel heads.

" Out ! Out ! spot "

You can't mistake it for anything else. It's a tiny American flag which I always wear in my lapel to ratchet up the reactionary jingo-machinary back home.

Hey, would you mind if sing the call to worship this morning?

Do you ever get the urge to just bathe in all of that oil?

"Tell me about it!? It's sooo embarrassing! I keep telling him that it's pronouced "NUCLEAR" not "NUCULAR", but he just doesn't seem to get it!"

"its true...i still cant wait to get my hands on bin laden"

Dick: These hands come in peace.

Massoud: Your hunting buddies have warned me otherwise.

Massoud, She was built like a two humped camel!

"...and she had a set of WMDs like you wouldn't believe"

I agree It is hard to believe the Democrats still believe were here for oil and not to help Liberate your Country. There not too smart.....

Cheney: ...so I just dropped the gun, and said, "Are you alright?", and then I just blamed George, we all do.

I hesitate to travel in your motorcade because your friend looks like George Bush on hormones.

What made you think I was Bush?

Just when i think ive gotten rid of George (Bush), he sends a look alike.

San Diego

"I could stay young and chipper,
and I'd lock it with a zipper,
If I only had a heart....."

Yes can you believe it? Barrack Obama is my cousin! America is an Amazing Place.

"Would you know where I can find the Swami Rabbitina?"

Massoud, my comrade. Can you spare that job for me ? in your oilfields?

"Just when I thought that I was out, they pull me back in ! ..."

You will have to forgive me, Mr. Barzani, the sign language translators were not able to make the flight.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought I was meeting the Prime Minister of Pakistan today.

See, told you...they're just as reflective as my head.

No, no, no! There is no "dynamite" – there is only rock, paper & scissors in this game.

WOW, so this is a petrolium based fabric!?

If you don't have my envelope with the oil money, I'll kill you with my bare hands.

Okay, Mr. Barzani, you know all these "Dick" jokes are bad enough in America, well, I oughta shoot you like I shot Harry Whittington.

Chaney: I am here for my share of the oil profits. Euros will be fine.

Joseph Smith
Baton Rouge, LA

"I promise! I will not shoot you! True!"

"freedom is not free....shipping and handling is extra"

Stop laughing!!, This is my real smile.

Atlanta, GA

You're killing me on this oil deal! You're taking ten percent for yourself and your countrymen! Ten Percent! Think about it... that only leaves my corporations with 90%. I know it's your land and your oil but...couldn't you live with a 2% profit? Come on!

Cheney: "Come on guys ... can't you get your act together before the November election ?... you're making the Republicans look bad in front of Americans"

Unnamed Iraqi "hehehe ... we like to see you sweat."

"I'm telling you he is a great danger, he has weapons of mass destruction and one of the most evil dictators alive. But with my assistance we can remove George Bush from power."

Bags of cash I tell ya. Just help us get this McCain guy in and you'll need a truck convoy to carry it all.

Cheney: “Come on guys … can’t you get your act together before the November election ?… you’re making the Republicans look bad in front of Americans”

President Massoud Barzani: “Hehehe … we like to see you sweat.”

I swear there's nothing up my sleeves!

don't look over...but do you see the guy with the dark glasses? I think his following me.

"Its a hat and a table cloth...thats amazing Massoud."

You can shake my hands there clean,It's that cowboy Bush who has the dirty hands.

"Yeah, really! The President told me to bring him back some bannanas.

If you put your hands on top of mine, you try to pull away before I slap you- it's not torture, really, it's not.

"I would have thought with all that oil you could afford to wear something a bit more stylish than that Massoud."

Oh yes we have no bananas
......we have no bananas today

I got a new prescription for my eye glasses. We'll be just fine. Really.

I don't have any idea where the rumor started that I was related to Barack Obama

"How about you and I do a little target shooting. I'll wear the vest"

You believe me don't you? We are winning in Iraq, aren't we? Aren't we?

Gimme some skin Bro

Two dictators finaly meet.

HUNTING... understand? I wanna go HUNTING.
I'm an excellent shooter, but you have to stay 200 ft away from me.

so... whats your top ten favorite George W Bush moments?

Gee, I tried to wrap a thing like you wear on my head, but I just couldn't figure out how to do it

Did you ever hear the one about Dolly Parton in a tube top?

What do you mean theres no oil here, there must me thats why we came!

"Mr. Vice President, how did you get such a nice tan living in bunkers since since 911?"

I am sorry president Bush didn't mean to say that Kurdistan is not real, he was problably just confused with Kazakhstan in the Borat movie.

It's been five years now, would it kill you to call me Mr. Vice-Liberator?

I can't believe it ! De ja vu! Were you cleaning your gun at the kitchen table or was it hunting related?

Oooh he-e-r-e it c-o-mes-s-s!!! Do you have a spare kerchief I may borrow?

Watch this trick....! Hillary is in my left hand, and Obama is in my right hand... Ill put my hands together annnd....*Poof* all gone!...

President Barzani I'm hoping hunting is a favourite passtime in Kurdistan. Why is that man looking at me like that?

"Mr. President, I came to make sure you have my correct account number to transfer my share of the revenue"

Cheyney (laughing): "I don't know Massoud. Why do American politicians always seem to be so happy when things are going so badly?"

Massoud: "Its not a joke Mr. Vice President."

Do you see these hands? They're as soft as a goats belly!

YOUR NAME IS MAS...WHAT???
IT IS A MESS IN HERE MASOUD

DR STEVE RAMSEY
ALBERTA- CANADA

"Of course it was all about the oil, everbody knows that"

...and if George mistakes me for his mother again I'll show him what "shock and awe" really means!

"Great weather yall got here in Tibet"

brooklyn, New York

See how empty my hands will be if the if the Supreme Court rules against guns...

Why yes I often wear clothing that supports Senator Obama...

KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!

STELLLLLLLAAAAA!!!!

You heard right. I had to register these hands as lethal weapons...I,m quite familiar with weapons, from hunting rifles all the way to weapons of mass destruction.

"I still can't figure out how you get your bandana to stay wrapped up on your head like that!"

GRRRR!!

Dick: Funny thing, Until we went to war with you guys, I honestly had no idea where this country was.

Dick : I've come to heal the Wounds of Race!

President Massoud Barzani: "Dude, where's your lapel pin?"

Ryan
Kenai, Alaska

I've never sword danced , but if you'll lead...........

"So, in summary, all we really want is your oil. Now smile for the camera as if I come in peace."

George W. Bush, in a not so clever disguise, watches Vice President Cheney confer with President Barzani.

Ryan
Kenai, Alaska

See for yourself...I don't have blood OR oil on my hands! Really!

We've got a tire going down on air force one, do you have a lug wrench?

Hey man dont that guy in the background look like a fat george bush?

you see i don't have a gun, so come give me a hug.

I'd have to disagree...UCLA will win this years March Madness...not Georgetown.

Fort McMurray Alberta Canada

President Bush wanted me to ask you this Massoud. If this is the Middle East then where is the Right East and Left East?

Fort McMurray Alberta Canada

Do you have any hand sanitizer? American politics make me feel dirty...real dirty.

CHENEY:
"HONEST, MR PRESIDENT...YOU KNOW YOU CAN TRUST ME !!"

Geez, Massoud, you got to tell me where can i get a couple dozen bright turbans like yours? They'd come in handy on my next hunting trip.

Hillary or Obama in one hand, an option for us to stay in the region for 100 years in the other. What'll it be?

"See?...nothing behind my back, I'm all clean"

See Massoud ...I have 10 fingers. Not all Americans have four fingers like Homer Simpsons' family.

Fort McMurray Alberta Canada

"How about puting those weapons of mass destruction right here, huh?"

Please try to understand, Massoud! There just is not enough time to accomplish it! As much as so many Kurds would like to be our 51st state, the State Commemorative Quarters program ends this year!

okay, I showed you I'm bald, now let me see your bald spot

It's not our fault! China serves us Thunder Punch that comes in bowl's this big!

i will trade you my glasses for your hat, my head is getting hot

You think Saddam was intimidating, try shooting someone in the face and have them apologize.

Cheney: No, really, there is no such person as Billary Clinton.

No, my cousin Sen. Obama didn't make the trip with me. he had a very important speech to give today.

Are you serious Massoud, there are no refills on ice tea?

Hey Massoud, I know this great place to go hunting. Are you "game"? (heh, heh, heh)

VP: "I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse..."

Please loan me your gun. I promise, I really can shoot straight.

Cheney: I can't help but laugh – this is sooo funny, here we thought there were weapons of Mass Destruction – go figure!

Massoud's thoughts: What an idiot!

Wait...so you're not Borat? Where am I again?

So where are the weapons of mass destruction???

Cheney Speaking;

"Hey Buddy!!!!! I have the check for the oil in my pocket, now lets head up to the palace, I can’t wait to get to those 7 virgins you promised me!

Sorry buddy, the checks won't be mailed until May.

What do you mean you are launching operation "American Freedom"?

James, Toronto

darth vader? hmmm more like humpty dumty to me!

Are you understanding me? I really AM a GOOD Hunter, we can go shooting anytime, what happen before was a total accident...seriously, take me, you'll see...

But I try to tie mine that neatly; the end keeps coming out.

Arnold told be Anderson Cooper's biceps were this big

Yes, my daughter is a Lesbian. Are those hunting clothes you're wearing?

It sure is nice to get away from hearing,Im losing my house-I cant afford gas.blah blah blah!

Geez Barzani, I love that shirt! George always says that you and Fidel know where to find the best bargains.

Third guy in the picture: "Give it up, Cheney. He was absent the day they taught the 'clean hands doctrine.'"

OMG...still laughing over this one from Dan Manes
Dan Manes March 18th, 2008 4:02 pm ET
“Are you serious? You’ve never even *heard* of curds and whey?”

-Dan Manes, San Diego, CA

Don't worry about the Turks. They will back down when they see the new uniforms and protective head gear.

Don't worry, I got Scooter Libby off! If you hit up Bin Laden I promise I will get you off and pardoned. Trust me, I got you covered.

Come on, Dick. This is no time to break out into your Al Jolson impression!

I just don't get it. I can't figure it out. How can we be cousins too?

Vice President Cheney, hosting the U.N. Awards Red Carpet Ceremony. "So Massoud, who are you wearing?"

Iraq is my only hope in this administration because we messed up the economy and everything else.

"No, when I called you a filthy, oil-hoarding, bomb-toting, child-killing, sadistic ruler, I didn't mean it. I was just trying to make our President look better."

So you have three guys, a rabbi, a priest and an a ayatollah sitting at the bar.....

Trust me, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6 on the one hand, and 5 on the other, makes 11.

GREAT......YOU HAVE YOUR RED COLOR HAT...SO YOU ARE A REPUBLICAN.

DR STEVE RAMSEY
HIGH LEVEL, ALBERTA- CANADA

"My God man! You're a mess. That turban doesn't match the sash, those epaulets like something out of 'MacGyver', and that color makes you look like a corpse. All I can say is a big yuck and what were you thinking?"

These reporters think I'm asking you to drop oil prices..no no no.

Fill these hands with money and gold and i will be out of here in no time.

"So here's how it's going down. We're going to knock off your short little friend here, making it look like the bullet was meant for me. Then we're going to pin it on terrorists from Iran, see?"

It was called " I Dream of Jeannie"...with Barbara Eden. I can't believe you've never heard of it!

"Would you please tell me how many fingers you see?"

Dang it, George follows me everywhere, act like you dont see him and he will go away.

Dick Cheney caught unaware receiving a blessing from the elders.

" No i cannot give you weapons of mass destruction"

" I'ma warnin' ya' !! I got itchy trigger fingers, Kurdy !! "

"Now you want to cook the meat just right and serve it about this big."

You pay me and I will see that the USA gives you anything you want, but don't tell anyone that you pay me, OK!

" COULD YOU GET EXCITED ABOUT SHOCK AND AWE?"

President Massoud Barzani: I told you Dick, I’ve got you just where I want you.
Vice President Dick Cheney: Please Mr. Barzani let my people go. They’re all going to laugh at me.

Grin and bear it Cheney: " I know you are coming for a hand-out ... but both hands.... that's a little much."

"Ahh dude come on, can't you cut me on just a 'lil' bit of that oil-action"?

Let Us Have A Manly Embrace, Massoud

Massoud:
For the last time. I'm not taking you hunting!

Cheney:
Why you gotta play me like that?!

Barzani? Dude, I thought you said Bartzini from the Godfather....

Can you believe I'm client #10!

Yes I know we have a lot of problems back in the States but we're trying to bring them to the Middle East.

...and then you discover Voldemort's been hiding under the turban the whole time!

Massy...you've GOT to tell me where you got that lovely sash!

Why in the world would I run for Precedent in times like this.

Tell me, how do you do it. I'm sweating oil

I really did bring you a present, I just don't remember what I did with it.

Listen, I've tried getting out...Enron, the leak scandal, the impeachment papers, my heart, my views on waterboarding...and oh, yeah the hunting "accident"...they just won't let me go!

Wow! Camel dung really stinks.

Yes, you can call me "Darth". HillBill(ar)y started it and I guess it's catching on.

When i say no hands, I mean NO HANDS!

Okay,
If I can't get you to lower the price of gas then could I please borrow the camel again tonight Daddy!

Kurd: "Kind sir, would you please stop surging at me. It isn't working."

Yes, this IS my first vist to ... hmm ... dang ... your lovely country ...
uh ... Not-Vermont-istan.

Good one! Now I've got one for you. A Kurd, a Sunni and a Shia go into a bar...

Who am I, Why am I here?

So do I hold the hat like this before I put it on?

Have you seen my buddy, Jack Cafferty, his head is about this big.

Hey! I heard your related to that Barack Obama fella. How did that happen?

HELP ME

I don't have a clue what I am doing.

Where is the WMD and the oil??

I like the one my cousin Barack wore during his trip to Africa!

Quit calling it a DRIVE-BY! It was an accident!

Can I borrow $50 to fill up my car?

Please let me stay in your country – I have to find a new place to live before November!

I was NOT with that hooker in New York!!

The President wanted me to assure you tht we are not invading your country. YET.

I'll make you an offer for your oil, you can't refuse........

With psycho T in the middle I don't see how North Carolina can lose - who do you have in your bracket?

Cheney: Psst, do you see George W. Bush's long-lost and more intelligent looking brother eavesdropping on us too?

Aaahhhh, I love you people and your funny hats...you've made George Jr. and I so much money!

NO, I want you to pull the rabbit out of your hat!

It's easy – just scare them and they'll be putty in your hands!

'I don't need a gun. I can kill a bird with my bare hands"

Nothin' up my sleeve . . . Presto! Weapons of mass destruction!

Dude, where were you last night, you missed an AWESOME party...Kurdistani Keg Stands are da bomb!

I appreciate how you've monitored 'our' oilfields

Hussain said hello... yeah, ours did too

Let's see, I wear a size 71/2 cap, and a size large robe

It's just gas.

But of course the persistent rumours that I was beamed up by an alien spacecraft and studied there for some time were somewhat exaggerated, Your Majesty.

why didn't you tell it was "hats required"

Can you believe it, oil at $110 a barrel? Isn’t that great!

I was wide open and I dropped it in the end-zone!

I really appreciate your invitation, but the pink in the turban is really a fashion faux pas with that uniform.

I killed Saddam personally with these hands.

Seriously man, I'll trade you my World of Warcraft account with 2 epic geared 70's, Undead Warrior, and a Blood Elf Paladin, for your 1 epic geared Night Elf Hunter!

Who's your daddy? Didn't I tell you that we would get filthy rich after we got rid of Saddam? Give me 5; two times.

You see what you do to me…..there goes my defibrillator again……..

Cheney; "Yes I know he's just a Bush look alike but they won't notice, he always looks that dazed especially on the oil subject."

But no, really, it's wonderful, Santa has a hat very much like yours, and we adore him in our country.

George, take the glasses off, they know that you are the REAL President.

I'm working on a new wrestling move called the "last throes." I haven't gotten it to work yet.

" I promise, I'm going to vote for OBAMA!!!!

As one of our most trusted allies, you may most certainly have a copy of the documents that led us into Iraq.

No! No! No! I told him to evade not invade!

Of course, we can drill your oil. I'll call Haliburton as soon as I get back.

Look...it's really quite simple: You promise to give full control of your country to us, and my friends Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz and I will arrange an invasion of your country at minimal cost to you, And we'll even kick in my old company to help get things organized afterwards! What do you think?

Seriously, just place the apple on your head and I'll shoot it off. I never miss!

O Great Carsini, tell me, where will I be hired after January '09?

Hey, can you help me out here? I need to justify the surge is working.

Diane Bunten
Chicago, IL 60660

"I'm telling you...winning Florida wasn't officially my third wish"

VP Chaney clip

my buddies at halliburton can make you one this big.

You have to have big ones like me to pull off that crap I have.

Do you have any clue at all? We don't have much time.. just a few months left. How are we going to get this oil to my backyard ? We need to move .. right now!!!

Well ya see, the President wants the hat too!!

Honestly now, how many guns do you think I can carry back??

" Hand over the hat and back away slowly".

Whaz Up, Couz! You are my cousin, Barack Obama?

Victoria Hopwood
St. Paul, MN

See, I told you there were Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. This one is called a Harvey

Honest, George has the check.

You've got to believe me. I'm not a suicide bomber. It's a pacemeker.

As George and I had promised...we have sent our "prophet" John to continue our deeds...

I've got the whole world in my hands. And it all started with the president's brain.

"I mean, I shot the guy, and there he was apologizing to me! And that's when I realized I was a powerful guy."

Edin T
Acworth, GA

Cheney:
Sorry, I usually have my Puppet George Bush with me. But I forgot him on this trip.

I am looking for weapons of mass destruction. They are about the size of a bread box.

The concession, please give me a break the odds are against me.I am going to hell.

Hey...next time could they play "Hail to the cheif" as I get off the plane?

How can I make a believer out of you, I KNOW I'd be better than G.W.

"Stop me if you've heard this one. A sheik, a rabbi, and a priest walk into a hukka bar..."

"Now at this point I would show you how to cock the shotgun, but they won't even let me be around a gun anymore."

You promised, gi'mee the Turban ..tickle, tiickle....

Yesterday while fishing in the Euphrates I caught an "Insturgent" THIS BIG!

"Darn it. I forgot the punchline."

Yes. I did meet the country singer Dolly Parton!

"How much money did I make at Halliburton? Well, just imagine I'm holding a sack of gold in these hands."

Hey..did you hear about how the Govs. are doing in New York..

What, you haven't been to a McDonalds???

No...that guy to the right is just a Bush clone that cooked too long!

Look, I have washed the blood of Iraqi from my hands. It's all George now.

Massoud, can we get our parking validated?

Sorry for the way I'm gesturing my hands, Massoud. Usually, this is the part where I hold a rifle to your face and shoot!

I'll be looking for a new job in a few months, you wouldn't be in the market for a used VP would you?

James Williams
Toronto, Canada

"No, I am actually NOT Voldemort!"

Hey Baby! You wanna Dance with Daddy?

I "reeeally" need a lamp with a genie in it!!

Massoud.....
I always get confused.... Are you Sunni or Shiaa?

1. I'd like to introduce you to my dog, Harvey.

2. Harvey would like to introduce you to the weapons of mass destruction.

Eileen Curtis
Bethel, New York

"OK. I'll get my birdgun. Just make sure you leave that turban on so I'll be able to see you in the bush!

Do you think I could get 10 gallon of gas for my shotgun?

See? Five years of war, and my hands are still clean!!!

No, seriously. I’ve got to find it. It’s a WMD you can carry like this...have you seen one around?

Cheney: "He he he ....so what do yo uget when you cross a shotgun, Hiliary Clinton, and a lollipop...he he he?"

Massoud: "I don't know...what?"

Cheney: "Make oil cheaper and I'll tell ya....he he he"

"Why the long face?" Get it? He says to the horse, "Why the long face?"

No, really,... if you go quail hunting with me I promise to wear my new glasses.

Why I am listening to this American moron?

I'd love to help but my hands are tied!

James O'Neill O'Brien
Hermosa Beach,CA

You don't have a single medal... no ribbons... and your hat looks silly. If you don't macho it up a little I'm going to have to slap you around.

Raise your hands with me and let's pray for the US economy!!!

Mr. President, I'm begging you please, let me take some oil home.

Sorry but I received bad intelligence. The CIA report said you folks had stopped wearing headdress and had found a way to intercept our intelligence satellites by bouncing the waves off your shaved heads.

So you cut off BOTH hands if they disagree with you? Nice!

If Bin Laden were here, I'd rip him limb from limb.

"I'm not sure what to do with my hands."

Cheney: Don't you have any more cookie jars? My hands are clean.

Ma sooood , Masss ud, I'm sorry I promise I'll get it right before I leave.

I carry with me all the problems president Bush has brought our country.

Look at me ! How could I be related to Barack Obama?

Can't we all just get along?

I need your heart. It's for the greater good.

I could write nothing and it would still be better than David's post.

You're sure we're in Kurdistan? I swear they said we were going to Kurdistan but you sure look Italian. That checkered tablecloth on your head sure takes me back to a visit to a cafe in Venice. Could you get me a bowl of spaghetti.....this big?

"You haven't heard the song, He's got the whole world in His hands?"

Talk about melons!

I don't need a gun...Imagine these hands around your neck

Just give me a second here. Ahh, Ohhh...It's just another heart attack...

Seriously, I swear the gun was on safety!

"(Dick Cheney) "I told you I'm fine.

"... heh heh heh ... BLAM! Both Barrels! ... heh heh heh ... priceless."

“No really, my wife needs that for her basket liner.”

Hey, let me tell you this joke about a friend of mine called Bear Stearns.... Oh, by the way, do you have a couple of billion dollars in your pocket I could borrow???

Thanks for the beautiful roses, It nice to be welcomed as a hero.

no....noooooo, it means Richard in english!!!!!!

Is that guy to your left related to George Bush?

Cheney: Surprise!! It's in neither hand!! Good right?
Moussaud: Yes...it's...good (thought: maybe he'll leave if I smile long enough)
Man on the side: Oh boy, not that trick again...

Juan Robles, Brooklyn, NY

Don't worry. Haliburton shares are traded in Euros.

I just don't understand what you're saying.

please please let me get one of those fancy headwraps...is it bulletproof?

I don't know what this guy next to us keeps looking at....
I look good in the suit right?

I don't know why i'm here, but i'm here.

its like we had bin laden in our hands...

Achooo!! Jeez I'm sorry! ...Ya got another one of those towels?

Hello, I'm Dr. Seuss, are you the cat in the hat?

As i said earlier, Paying us in Gold bars is heavy . When you could wire the money to the Camen island account. As agreed b4 the war.
We need to keep our hands clean after we leave the White House

"Ah Mr. Chaney. Looking for a handout? "

" I'm telling you, it takes two hands to eat a whopper!"

So you say this is a dry heat huh?

We're here looking for John McCain....he thinks he won already and we were told he's traveling in the Middle East thinking he's the President already.....please help!!!!!!!!! I have his medecine in the car!

so..there was rabbi and a priest on a golf course......

So you're not suppose to hold the gun like this while hunting?

do you have to wear that HUge lousy belt all the time. com on!

1. Mr. Vice-President, you bug me!

or 2. No, Mr. Vice-President, we do NOT hunt quail!

I caught the duck right after I shot it...then the other shot happenned.

Look no gun, you see. Don't worry you are safe around me I swear.

Mr. Barzani,

Sir, I was just telling my staff how very Presidential you look.
Very presidential

I was only joking about you be a "clear and present danger," really. Scouts" honor. Help me out here, for crying out loud. I'm not Gumby!

Don't mind the guy with the Haliburton lapel pin. He gets 'country' and 'company' mixed up.

This is how I carried my gun that day...don't worry I didn't bring it today.

Hey man..... do you think you could hook me up with some weapons of mass destruction to help polish my tarnished image?!?!

hey what's the correct way to hold a riffle?
my hunting skills nearly cost me my job..

It seems that I've misplaced my shotgun

See, I told you,we would do it no matter what.Do you wanna party ?

Gimmee Gimmee

Hug..Hug..Hug..

What's up doc?

"No, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express."

Give us more Black Gold, "Oil."

These hands are the Weapons of Mass Destruction.h

Open to adding a little blue to your Keffieh?
Red, White, and Blue: a true U.S. ally.

I told you, they melt in your mouth, not in your hand!

Yes, er, I really did shoot him and I got away with it too, Is that not humerous? Ha HA HA!!!

Clarksburg

Do you realize how much this war is costing!!

I hate those automatic hand driers in the men's room, don't you? Would you mind just bowing your head forward a little?

Really? We couldn't meet in the shade?

May I say again Mr. President that I am so sorry for shooting you in the head, but I did say 'duck'.

OUR COUNTRY'S IN A MESS, WE COULD USE WHATEVER YOU HAVEN'T SPENT YET.

you still got our back ,rrright....once we bomb iran!

What oil? I didn't take it! See.. no oil on my hands!

"No, I said wire the money to my account...Not George's!!"

Heyyy, air dryer in the washroom isnt working... Mind if i use yours towel?

See all the agents watching us? Just pretend you like me and you’ll be fine.

"I could probably get Halliburton to build you a Hooters here."

"I was holding it like this and it just went off"

VP Cheney to Kurd Prez Barzani: I hear there's been a turkey shoot around here lately on your coharts championing a free state of Kurdistan in Northern Iraq. But Massoud never fear, don't develop any turbulence under that turban of yours, I see a wonderful oily Haliburton future of netback royalties for our mutually vested interests,
yours truly, Mr. Shock and Faux Pas – Flaw himself, Derringer Dick

As you know, with Bush as President, I've got my hands full. If all this stress continues, all my hair will fall out and I'll have to wrap my head like you do.

Lets see, what can you do for me.

"George and I didn't get your oil check last month. Don't make me have to come over here again!"

Can I borrow 5 bucks for gas?

see, I don't have a gun !!!!!

Keep that hat on... I'm going duck hunting later....

I once shot a cripple quail this big.

May I have this dance?

Can I get a VP discount on gas prices?

May I borrow your turban for my bolding head?

"Don't worry, I'm not going to shoot you in the face."

Here is your invoice for the oil Sir!

I promise you, it was a total accident, I didn't mean to shoot him, really!

OH HAI, U CAN HAZ INVZBL CHZBRGR 2!

Security guards in background seem to resign themselves to the inevitable truths: Cheney thinks that turban is bullseye... he will shoot him.... our only question now is how do we get the Kurdish President to take the blame like with that Texas lawyer...

".........I wash them and wash them, I just can't seem to get my hands clean!"

Wow your kidding ......you like to hunt quail too?!

Fo shizzle Dawg

What "DID" you do with all that money we gave you. Not that it matters.

Towel, towel, towel, towel, towel... Ah towel, you don't mind do you?

What are we talking about?

You like duck? I like duck hunting.

Wheres Waldo?

The bags of Oil Money are so big I can't hold them in my hands

Ah it will be great, we'll go down to Crawford, and we'll go quail hunting. They're this BIG! They're everywhere, just turn around and blast them, well just don't get in front of me!

Massoud my man..That is one cool cap.

What - no handshake? No hug for Uncle Dick? C'mon, where's the love???"

No, Im telling you, it was THIS BIG

Listen, I have to act as if I actually want you guys to lower the price of oil. You understand, don't you?

Again, what the am I doing here?

cheney is saying i have been vice president and i dont know what im doing

I threw a line out into the desert and I caught a trout THIS BIG!

Kent Fitzsimmons
Kewanee Illinois

If you do not give me your oil, I will tear your throat out.

Your kidding, right? I have to wear that hat?

Hey Massoud, What do you say you and I go hunting sometime.

"yeah they are called quails and they are this big, who'd thought i would miss"

"Hey where do I get one of those spiffy hats?" Tacoma, Washington.

President Barzani: You sure you don't need a hat?
Cheney: I appreciate it, but I brought sun block.

Memphis, TN

I'm telling you straight up – there is absolutely no truth to the rumour that President Bush is getting advice from Borat.

Wow....lovelllly scarf.
Know where I can pick one up for my daughter?

How about shooting a duck this big!

Well the only dance i remember from those good old days is the macarena, i'm mot sure if you put both hands out like this while u shake??

Say what? 10$ a gallon?? No problem the american people need a something 2 divert them while "W" & I figure out a way to get rid of hillery&barack, were trying 2 sneak him in 4 another 4 years, do ya think they'd notice????

I'd shake your hand but my nails are still wet

after we are done counting our money you can help me make fun of the bush look a like in between us.
– og
washington, dc

No, really! The Democrat candidate for president of the United States is named Barack Hussein Obama! I kid you not!

hey I just washed my hand can I borrow that towel

Yes, I washed my hands, may I( touch your turban?

Say hello to my little friend

Trust me, I could shoot a Gun. Just look at these hands.

"Isn't it funny, how my oil ended up under your land?"

We're you hear the other day smokin' a cigar. Or was that the other old guy?

"OK ... where do I start my hug?" "Up here? ... a little lower?"

"I come to the Holy land and Why are my hands burning?" Ray

Massoud, Massoud. You know we can't take sides between you and Turkey. We prefer to remain neutral.

how about letting me hold that turbin so I can dry my hands

"I swear President Barsanzi, the Leprechaun I saw last night was this big!"

Would I lie to you?

praise allah, where can i get a hat like that

PLEASE Mr. Barzani .. Can we just get another loan to help our economy?

You really should come with me on a hunting trip! I've made some rather interesting shots - and the trips are 99% accident-free!

I'm serious, I don't have a heart! They replaced it with a fish-tank pump years ago. And I hate America, too!

Mr. President, Tell me it's not true that I can't go hunting here!

Wow, you've lost wheight since the last time I saw you!!! are you still on that chicken noodle diet???

i really dont wanna be here bush told me to get out of whitehouse

His mouth is moving but I don't understand what he's talking about. He sounds like the teachers on Charlie Brown

Can you please tell me in English what you just said in your own language that I clearly don't get! Can you help a fellow out?

Where's my turban? God knows... I've earned it!

Ok..................Is it the left hand you guys shake with or is it the right?

Kent Fitzsimmons
Kewanee, Illinois

Oooh, I am sorry .Massoud. I left the foreign aid check on my desk.

Cheney: What did you do with all that money? Bush and I want our cut. I told you I can't keep gas prices higher much longer once the elections is held in November. The Democrats are on to us, PAY ME!

That story sounds a little far fetch....Come on.

I swear, I yelled duck..

ATL Catapult

Iraq War ? not responsible. No blood on my hands.

Hey buddy Im going hunting, i need a pretty good spotter this time around, would you like to go?

I'm sorry! Shooting your companion was an accident! I was aiming at the camel....It won't happen again!

Yes, Obama's middle name is 'Hussein' but what the American press does NOT want you to know is that "W" really stands for "Wassup".

Dick: "Salaam Marhaba (Arabic language – hello, nice to meet you) Mr President. Yes, it's true that the French manicure is the fashion in the Western nail circuit. What is your preference?"

Can you believe that George Bush, standing to your left (don't look) thinks I don't recogonize him?

Look, it's nothing personal, Repulicans just don't do turbans

Enough of Oil already! Can we go on that hunting Trip?

My hands are soaked. Can I please borrow that towel?

Yes, You can relax. I left my hunting rifle at home!

If you go up just fifteen more dollars per barrel we can buy China!

"Excuse me Mr. Massoud but can I borrow yo' tourbin? Just put it in my hand. This is Mid Eastern weather is doing nothing for my hair."

did you hear the obama speech today? the grandmother thing makes me want to vote for him.

washington, dc

I'm serious .....I really need a towel dude!

So, let me get this right, after five years, we've got this much WMDs. I am shocked and awed.

I forgot what I was suppose to tell you, are you physic?

Have you see the sun out here? It's just so big... and round.

No wonder it's so hot.

Cheaney: Why aren't you people scared of me? Grrrrrr!!!!

President Massoud Barzani: Ha ha ha!! that's cute Dick!!

You put you right hand in and you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around. Thats what it's all about.

Kent Fitzsimmons
Kewanee, Illinois

Can we do something for your country? Look how well Iraq is doing.

"The solution for Iraq is in this here box, just don't tell Bush about it, he thinks the box is twice this size!"

Do you know where I can buy a really big hunting rifle!!!

Look, I'm asking as nice as I can. We conquered your country, give me that peppermint turban!

so what we do now hug or something.

i was wondering if you would like to go quail hunting later

Please, stop laughing! I am really having chest pains!!

Just bow, I promise to catch yer hat.

Firestone, Colorado

"see amercians are getting really upset about gas prices , so we need to lower the price per barrel to $80.00 but hell we will both will still get a fat profit check even at that price!"

hali........Burrr...ton, not "hell of a burton"

Let me borrow that napkin homey, my hands is dirty

I once shot a hunting partner THIS big

Really!!, I dont have a shotgun to show you!

I showed you mine,; Now show me yours.