Well said, Dr. Saltz. I would add, however, that "standing by her man" should be her choice. She may choose to stand by him emotionally, but not physically, for appearance's sake. Or she may choose to not stand by him at all. It's HER choice. I agree that she needs to take the time to assess and decide if she wants to continue her marriage, if she wants to forgive him, if she wants both of them to seek counselling, etc., but in the final analysis, it's HER choice. After all that she's been through, she deserves this at the very least.

Lilibeth
Edmonds, Washington

The whole situation is very sad. Divorce ruins lives, especially the children's lives. It would be great if every man's dream was to get married and have children. But unfortunately, that's not the way it works. They have other ideas. I'm not sure if she should stand by her man. She looks so miserable, I hope she takes good care of herself either way.

It is not a problem "to stand by your man", it is a problem to stand by "your man" which betrayed you and whole country and then humiliates you even more by asking to stand in public thinking this would take half of his guilt away.

I think that rather or not someone stands by their man is according to how they grew up and what they were taught. If they were taught that you stay together no matter what then they will and will try to work it out. If someone was told that cheating is wrong and that there is no excuse and you should leave then that's what will happen. So it is really all about the past mixing with the present on what most people would do.

Cynthia, Covington, ga.

I would like to see one of these women that 'stand by their man' at the end of the press conference hit them upside the back of their head.

I was hoping for it today, looked like she could have, but didn't.

She should have.

People, leave them alone, this blatant sensationalism is what is wrong with news today. My heart goes out to the family.

I find it strange that during Spitzer's resignation, he looked like he just got back from a well-rested vacation and his wife looked like she had aged overnight. How does he explain all this to 3 teenage girls who are so impressionable and probably adored their father?

If someone hurts you bad and humiliates you by such an act, not only in your personal life but publicly; why would a woman choose to save his political career by standing next to him. If she were to walk off now, that will humiliate the culprit more. What message are we giving to the women here. '

Please don't tell me that this is for kids. Come on; kids will understand why the mother did so and there are divorced or widowed mothers who raise their child.

This is what America is all about. I wonder how Mrs. Clinton will woe for rights of women in Kabul or Iraq, when she herself was a typical political wife. I wonder if there are other gains that you achieve by standing by HIM. well, Clinton is running for elections after all.

Even if you still love the man, how do you recover the trust? Do you stay and wonder day after day if he's telling you the truth not only about your relationship but almost everything? In the end sometimes leaving while hard is the only viable option mentally that you have.

Annie Kate
Birmingham AL

Oh for God's sake!Of course he loves his wife and children.He wasn't carrying on an AFFAIR -he just wanted what every man who has been married for twenty years wants -a little variety.He should be lauded for attempting to achieve this without breaking up his family.I find this whole situation pathetic-a fine man ruined for seeking to fulfill his natural instincts without harming anyone.Grow up Americans-library at Ephesus with secret door to the brothel and the wives were none the wiser but everyone was happy.GROW UP.

I love when I hear women that aren't involved in a given situation scold the wife of the man who has done wrong. Every situation is unique and how dare one, me or any one else, judge the wife in such a horrible situation. I heard the one "expert" talk about why should she stand there at the worst moment in her marriage...well, who knows if it's the worst moment in that given marriage and maybe she's decided to stick with him. Or maybe she hasn't . Mrs. Spitzer is a very smart woman. She doesn't need me or anyone else, especially the righteous feminist, telling her what to do.....so annoying.

What else is the spouse of a disgraced politician to do in such a case? Leave him stand alone and she will be accused of abandoning her husband in a time of need. Show up and share his disgrace and she is criticized "standing by her man". Public lives, private pain.

Everyone has to make their own personal decision. It's not my place or anyone elses to tell someone how to react to their spouse cheating. But I could certainly tell you that if I were married, and he were my husband, he'd probably be standing at that podium all alone, and with a black eye.

I think more wives should go out and find some fun; they look like a really bored lot! It seems that men are biologically driven to spill their seed wherever, and women have always seemed to put up with it. Time for a "change" not only in politics but in sexual mores.

Just once I want to see one of these wives say "You are on your own buddy. You made your bed and now you can lie in it alone!" they do not have to leave their husband; just make hime face the music alone.

I can under stand why these women stand by their man, They are hunt beyond understanding yet as all women know they feel that they can change their man. Especially when the man is shown in public to have done the wrong thing. They feel that after this "outing" their husband will have learned, and would never do anything like this again. Sincerely, Judi

Women have no other choice in these horrible situatons or a least they think they don't , show me a women in history who has made the decision to say to hell with this "I will not stand by my man", these type of relationships are more of a business partnership rather than what we as the American public like to beleive as the conventional marriage. Alot of these or should I say all of these women are living vicariously through their husbands so much that their true identity is a complete mystery to them. So much to lose and nothing to gain is the situation they find themselves in and how many of these women are having affairs themselves women are certainly not always the victims here. He got caught people!!! Dont live in the dark, his kind of behavior is very common amongour government officials.

The choice to stay together or separate (regardless of the adulterer's gender) is a decision to be made by the involved parties. sometimes the offended is the one that makes that decision, or the one that matters,anyway. He (Spitzer) should have a public office job. But outside of that, is none of our business.

I wonder if perhaps Dr. Saltz might think that gov. Spitzer may need to find out ,, in this thankless world he is in, whether his wife loves him. Whether that is behind his need to be caught to come to the place where he life's meaning is put to the test and whether through the toughest of times his wife could still love him. At any rate, he is about to find out and I for one hope that Mrs. spitzer can show her love and compassion, but preserve her dignity because she is suffering alot.

She's doing and going to do whatever she feels best for her. Her husband, sadly, has been doing that same thing all along, doing what was best for him.

I would like one reporter in the USA to show me one man standing by his wife who has been with male prostitutes. Please show me the man. !!!!! Does he exist in america?

The question is would he stand by her in such a situation? Let’s say that the role was reverse, would he be so tolerant as to face the public humiliation and risk his political career for her? It would be understandable if it was his first time and unluckily got cut, I am pretty sure that people would have understand, but apparently he was not thinking about the consequences that could hurt, his family and specially his wife when he summoned that young lady eight times.

Jessie Rock, Jacksonville NC

Shall we revert back to the days where a man could go out and get a switch from a tree no bigger than a thumb and beat his women and children for disobeying his orders. "Stand by your man," has been the exact actions of all women in political marriages since early american history.

@Rosemay LOL...
But, standing with husband during a time of crisis is really a personal choice not a public decision.....

Yeah!!! It's Amazing That She is standing by her husband it could send a good massage to women, because it's difficult time for her and her children. I will However, say that it will take a very strong women to do that .... Sad I couldn't watch the Program tonight... People like I are Called Workholic....

Any one who has been married and divorced, should know that this is not a simple case of a husband being unfaithful to his wife. Eliot Spitzer subconsciously wanted to get caught. This is a symptom of his deeper problems and it's sad that he had to act it out in this way, literally destroying all that he had worked for. No rational person would have done what he did. This is a form of suicide. His wife can stand by him, because she obviously loves him and recognizes this for what it is. If they seek good counseling, this could be the beginning of a stronger marriage. It isn't just about him, it's about them.

Everyone is saying that Silva is "standing by her man" . It's more lke she's standing "next to him". Two different meanings. What else can she do now. Give her some time. She'll be long gone. And rightfully so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have never understood why intelligent, successful women stay with spouses / significant others who abuse their trust. is it low self esteem or fear being on their own??? dont they know that independence and a single lifestyle is a beautiful peaceful gift.

I don't imagine it is anybody else's business but hers.

I think the entire situation is terrible. This is a classic example of how innocent and faithful women are contracting sexual transmitted diseases from their spouses. In this day and age it is too dangerous to risk your life with a person that is unfaithful. Standing by your unfaithful man is equivalent to walking near a cliff blind folded.

Geraldine Ferraro is a racist. If she wasn't she NEVER would have said that. I am not surprised she supports Hillary. They have that same childish mentality, and I am being nice because I am on this blog! David Gergen said the right thing.

I want to see political wives do their won press conferences. I'd love to see one walk off in the midst of the husband's "apology". They should set an example for their children and other young women by not standing for such humiliation. It's embarrassing and pathetic.

additionally, women need their energy to raise emotionally healthy sons and daughters, not be a parent to a spouse as well. get smart.

My goodnes your wedding vows say "for better or worse" don't you think this is exactly what is meant by worse? Also if you look at Mrs. Sptizer's eyes they look dead and the sparkle is gone. How sad. It will take a long time if at all for that to come back because first the trust must be restored.My heart goes out to her.

I hope the daughters are OK. Time to back down CNN.

I think Silda Spitzer stood next to her man to try and remain the class act that she brought to being the first lady of NY....

Just because he's turned up slimey doesn't mean she is......

Continued blessings to her as she figures out what to do next......

In today's world given what it is, to answer the question; why would she stand by her man? I think you have to look at all the options, not just those traditional, or normal, but what if, there was an agreement? What if she; the wife, knew and condoned, given some restrictions?
It isn't outside the realm of possibilities.

Anderson If you dig a little deeper, you will find out that Mr. Spitzer is not the super hero. There are thoese that know He has 2 sides the hero and the side that uses his money and power to keep up his good guy show. He is a bulley. If you check on the word he utters as he leaves the stage from his statement when this broke, It sounded more like Mr Spitizer the bulley boss. Not the broken husband.

Eliot Spitzer's actions are not any different from what other men do or wish they could do. The only downside is that he got cought. Should a man loose as much as Mr. Spitzer has lost because he had sex? Why are all these women saying that his wife shouldn't stand by her man? Chances are....they are single and have no idea what it takes to make a marriage survive....explaining why they are single in the first place!!

ELIOT MESS

The depth and stealth of Eliot and his efforts to curcumvent the authorities, not excluding his wife and daughters, who 'know their husband/dad better than anyone', is criminal. Elitot shoud face criminal charges. He was deep in the estuary of escorts and caroused curiously in the catacombs of the concubines. It will be a matter of time before his wife (remember her Eliot) serves him with a divorce.
No woman should have to suffer so consistently in shame and disgrace because of a monumentally stupid decision by her spouse.
The philosophy of married relationships is rooted in communication; both verbal and non-verbal. A healthy sex life, where both needs are met, is the foundation a successful marriage. However, more success can be garnered if the sex is with the married partner.
If she stays its; stand by your sham.

I am quite sickened by the endless commentary about Silda's behavior, appearance, the fact that she appears at his press conferences for the following reasons:
1. It takes the heat off of him, noone has commented on how disconnected he is from her.
2. These women who purport to support feminist ideals are only being critical of and blaming the victim when they say she should not appear with her husband.
3. It is very likely( as noone until Dr. Saltz commented) that she is doing what she feels is best for her children. In the end as she said he is still their father, but more importantly they share 50% of his genetic makeup.

Why does everyone assume she is hurt?
"How could she not be?"
"I would be!"
How do you know they don't have a relationship different than the norm?

Who do we the public and how dare the media put this woman on "trial"
Leave her alone. She is a victim. When Paris Hilton or whoever pop star goes to rehab it's all hush hush.
The woman is suffering as I am sure are her children. Give them privacey, they did nothing wrong.

I'm posting a comment here regarding Anderson Cooper's interview of the brother of the prostitute involved in the Spitzer sex scandal because the alternate blog space is closed.

It was arrogant for Cooper to mock this young woman's brother, specifically for his appearance. I found this surprisingly shallow and mean spirited. Cooper would not attack Silva Spitzer for any reason, especially her wardrobe, considering that, as far as we know, she is merely a victim of this tragedy.

Furthermore, I find it distasteful that the media is unearthing whatever possible information available about this young prostitute. It's well known that young women who choose to be involved in prostitution are often victims of sexual abuse and are reinflicting the abuse they've never resolved. Most "johns" are sexual predators and in my opinion, sex offenders. I'm sad for this woman and the disproportionate consequences she's now facing, including having her private pictures and writings displayed to the public and having her brother mocked on CNN.

22 year old "Kristin", Silva, and the Spitzer children are all victims here. My heart and prayers go out to them.

GIVE SPITZER A BREAK!!!!

Hey Anderson I like that Green tie looks good on you. This is not the first time a man have sex outside marriage and if you take a survey most American men are having sex outside their marriages. It's time that we come with reality that a man needs more than 2 women as long as he can afford it. Please women don't think your man is not cheating because he comes home on time.

Please equal opportunity for the women in America to wake up and smell the coffee that a man is entitled to 2 women as long he keeps you safe and please don't think your husband is a saint because he's lawyer, doctor or preacher!!!!

I believe my husband can sleep with another woman anytime as long as he keeps me safe and he doesn't than I will sue him for bringing me an STD. I think any man is capable of having another woman and please why everyone is so upset about Spitzer. The same people that are talking about Spitzer have extramarital affair too.

Anderson:

No matter what media says, I cannot find any sympathy in my heart for these politicians' wives. They stand by their men not just at the time of humilation. They have been standing by their men at all times as they watch their men doing it again, again and again. These women are not stupid, like Spitzer's wife, like Hillary, they are Harvard and Yale graduates. It is their choice and deliberate calculation that they might just be as lucky as their men to skip public scruitny. Sadly he got caught; otherwise these women would have been enjoying what thier men's power offers. Face it, it is not one man's failure. It is the failure of that corrupted relationship.

Voice of a normal woman

As the wife of a man that also got caught with prostitutes I must say most people don't understand. It forevers changes your sex life. My problem is that it is not fair because I was sitting at home and needed sex as well. It is complicated by a world that focuses too much on a man's genitals all their life. We flood men with pictures, images, strip clubs, videos, internet, magazines, etc. They are allowed to look but then you say don't touch. It doesn't work that way. I would rather he had an affair with someone that he just couldn't help being attracted to. Most people think there is something wrong with a wife or woman if her man pays for sex. I am here to tell you that is not true. Who do we think does this? Only single guys who can get any woman they want! For any woman that this happens to, DO NOT STAY. They are only sorry that they got caught. You will never feel they same about them and they will do it again because they get hooked on the forbidden aspect of it all. Your love and body will never be enough. By the way I am still with my husband to make him pay financialy and emotionaly.

I think America is beginingto get into a dirty game of dehumanizing ourselves. Why do you think the likes of Osama hated our ways of life. You don't hear other countries display their leader's and celebrities' social/personal life on TV like we do. Nobody cares about what people do with their personal life. Let his family deal with it, not the news media. We hurt America and his citizens when we do stuff like this, I guess its okay to play politics even when it affects children of the victims and the reputation of our leaders. I can assure you that half of Washington is involve in one thing or the other.

Give the poor wife and mother a break. I think this was a surprise and the poor lady was just trying to sort the shocking situation out. The story had just broke. Other political wives usually have a chance to think the situation out, and then because they are usually good wives, they stand with their lying hypocritical husbands because of politics.
I hope this woman thinks about what she is teaching her daughters by standing by this creep for the long run. obviously he does not "value " his family or marriage-not to mention the people of New York.

Hey Anderson and associates, apparently there are alot of high powered alpha males projecting the image of a happily married man an doing the dirty behind the scenes.... so will they all make it easy on us and just come out ...either fix their marriages or get a divorce and go with the "lady"! Seems to me this idea of two kinds of women is perpetratored and continued by MEN from the beginning of time to the detriment of ALL WOMEN...or am I wrong about that?

Spitzer is a Super-delegate supporting Hillary.

So if she returns the favour, perhaps she will draw on her White House experience, and give Mrs. Spitzer a call of support @ 3:00 a.m.

We wonder what advice she's have.

Whether she decides to stand by her man is up to her. No one knows what the intricate details of their marriage are. I think people are so quick to forget the vows they make when they get married- "for better or for worse". This is the"worse" part of their marriage and I think her standing by him is only her fulfilling a vow she made, if she decides to. The solution to a marital problem is not always divorce; the bigger picture has to be evaluated before deciding to run away from the problem.

By the way, what is up with the Ferraro lady? What is she thinking? It is true that everyone is entitled to their opinion but you would think with the number of years she has to her cap, she would speak with better wisdom and judgment when she does decide to voice her opinion. It is a shame that you don't find maturity where you expect it.

A real man would protect his wife and family and sheild them from any harm. He should have asked her not to be there as to sheild her away from the attention, attacks, pictures, etc for his mistakes and poor judgement. He shouldn't want her associated with this story and pictures at all. He would only have her their for political gains, and not for the benfit of his family.

what did obama do? remind us of ferraro- a great political figure..

and a woman??

The bottom line is that Elliott Spitzer committed a crime which he condemned others for. He let down New Yorkers and he humiliated his wife and children. After all of this, he should have been a man and stood at the podium by himself, instead of allowing his wife to stand there suffering even more than she already has, at his expense.

Silva might be standing by her man but the world ,would know that i didn"t like because he would be black and blue form me letting i did not like it .These women r letting the men make fools out of them in front of the world

I do feel bad for Spitzer's wife, this is a personal matter between him and his wife. If a politician cheats on his wife I dont care. What drives me crazy is the hiprocratcy. A man who comes down hard on prostitiution pays for sex. A man who spews the republican mantra about "amoral" homosextualls is caught waving his foot in the mens room. In detroit the mayor cost the city 9 million and fired 2 police officer over his affair, then lies about it in court, and then in his speech claims this is race motivated. I hope the city council and the law takes him down.

A final word.If Silda was such a loving wife why was there any need for this?Obviously something was lacking in this marriage so stop blaming Eliot.

Mr. Cooper?

I wonder why people of this "great" nation don't take marriage serious. It amazes me that the marital vows, "for better or for worse" do not mean anything to Americans. I can't believe people criticizing a faithful wife who is committed to standing by her husband in the most likely worst time in their marriage! This state of affairs points to how amoral this culture has become.

We seem to forget that this type of thing happenes EVERY day in the lives of regular people and women do the same thing. They may not be standing on a podium next to their unfaithful husband but for whatever reason women choose to stay in the marriage and "support their husband" even though their husband has broken his vow and humilliated his wife and family. More times than not the husband has been unfaithful on several occassions and the wives still stay. So the question is why do women stay period! Not just women of high powered men but women married to common men as well. Women from the beginning of time have been taught by society that you are to stay in the marriage and make it work no matter what the man is doing. Case in point: Recently, during a church service that I attended a visiting pastor(a woman) said during her message that she had several women in her church that were wanting to leave their marriages because of various things that the husbands were doing. The pastor stated that if the women were doing what they were supposed to be doing it didn't matter what the husbands were doing. The wives should be "taking care of business" at home and praying for their husbands and their husbands would eventually stop the behavior that was causing the wives to want to leave. I was shocked! I could not believe that in 2008 women are still expected to stay in a marriage that is unhealthy for them. But those are the facts. Women who choose to leave the marriage are then criticized for not supporting their husbands, giving up on the marriage, breaking up the family and often times called weak because they choose to leave the marriage indicating that they did not have what it takes to be strong and help their husbands with his apparent problem. But I will tell you, it takes more strength to leave a marriage that is unhealthy than it does to stay! So why did Spitzers wife choose to drag herself to that podium and stand next to her husband? Because it is exactly what just about everyone from church leaders to members of society expect her to do! The poor woman was shell shocked and probably did not know what she should do but in the end she succumbed to the pressure that she was no doubt getting from her husband and those in her circle.

I don't think she is standing by her "man." I think she is standing by her children – her family as a whole. Then she'll go home and tell him to take a long walk off a short pier and evaluate her options.

I think it is NOT so much the "LAY" a man gets as opposed to the "LIE" he tells that undoes a relationship with a supposedly trusting spouse.

It is unfortunate that Silda Spitzer has to not only deal with this violation of her vows in private but also on a national stage. None of us truly know what she is going through because unless we kill the men who have done it to us, it is barely a bleep on the radar. It is sad that the father of three girls just showed them that as women they are objects to be used and abused, and to hell with their feelings or their mothers feelings at that. Spitzer is not the first to do this kind of thing-he just got sloppy and got caught.

Men from the beginning of history have let their johnsons do the thinking and as a result, nations have fought and crumbled over the decision to lust and fornicate (think Helen of Troy). Too bad that they continue to repeat history over and over again, to the detriment of the very ones that they are sworn to protect.

My heart goes out to this entire family. I would that I could help them bear their pain, and suffering. My greatest disappointment is the lack of compassion, shown to them, and the unwillingness to forgive sin. I say this because none of us know what we will do, in any given situation. I felt so sorry for this family, when I saw how they were being treated, by their fellow humanbeings. It was as though they had become a full course meal for the hungry. How could we, who have our own sins to answer for, behave so merciless toward the fall of one of our brethren? How can we, whom God has so mercifully spared such humiliation, show no mercy for others who fall by the wayside. In God;s eye, there is no little sin and big sin. Which is why he has said, "Let him without sin, cast the first stone." Also God judge the heart of the man, so whose to say that in the eyes of God, Gov. Spitzer's sin will be judged on a lesser scale, than those of us who show no mercy, and are willing to rejoice at the expense of the pain and suffering of this family. Many are showing no mercy for the man, Eliot Spitzer, who was tempted beyond his control. I would also like to add, that we, the women also have our cross to bear. We can not condemn the man, Eliot Spitzer, without condemning the woman. This was a two way street. Its like condemning a drug dealer, and patting the drug user on the back. When the truth is, were their no users there would be no need for drug dealers. The same with such a matter as this, If there were no women willing to sell their bodies, there would be no, so call johns. For before one can purchase the body of a woman, a woman must first be in the business of selling her body. So should we look at such matter through godly eye-glasses, we would have to say, that before man can commit this type of sin, there must be a woman who has already given herself to sin. No matter how we want to close our eyes to what is truth; we must remember, it was not Adam who was the first to sin, but Eve. Who, after she had fallen from her holy state, encouraged Adam to do like wise. We must also remember that Satan desire to see all men fall, because Adam replaced him in his kingdom. So when we see our men fall, know that Satan has took down another one of God's men. And if there is any one who is in need of much prayer, it's God's men.

And lets be real, although many of us women are crying out that Silda should dump his butt, economics and social standings carry a lot of weight in her decision to stay and currently stand by her man. We all know that even in the more wealthier marriages, the woman always suffers economically. It is not that easy when you have invested 20 plus years into a marriage to just kick him in his &#@! and keep it moving. This is not a stupid woman, but a highly educated woman who is more than capable of holding herself down. But she is also a mother and she is more likely to be putting the needs of her daughters first before the needs of herself. Give it time, she will make her move and whatever decision she makes, will not surprise me in the least.

I agree this is not a public decision. Only the Spitzers can decide what is best for them, their marriage and their daughters.

To those who feel the woman standing beside her husband is showing a lack of disgust towards him says more about those women than Mrs. Spitzer in my opinion. Mrs. Spitzer's disgust and sorrow was very evident. But more evident and important was her courage and composure during such a difficult time. I call that Greatness not weakness.

To stay for whatever each woman's reason may be demonstrates much more strength, character and concern for the family unit than running from the situation. When your not in the situation opinions and advice are easy to render as you don't have to bear the consequences of the same. Therefore I feel it's only Mrs. Spitzer's opinion and assessment of her situation that matters and has any value.

I feel the ONLY thing Spitzer is sorry for is that he got CAUGHT!!
Doing a young lady the age of his own daughter! Makes me wounder if he is also a pervert.

It is difficult to understand how Silda Spitzer can reconcile that her need (and that of her phalandering husband) should take precedence over that of their daughters. Shouldn't she be more concerned with setting the example of self-respect than loyalty at this point for them? Isn't she worried her daughters might think there are exceptions to the respect they have every right to expect from the men who proclaim to love them? Alas! That would be more injurious than the suffering she is doing at the hands of their father and her husband.

standing by your man:
there is a vast difference in standing by your man, and standing by your husband. It takes a lot of heart to stand by your husband, when he has fallen before the eyes of the world. These are the times when true love is put to the test. It's easy to give one support when one is doing well. It's easy to come out into the public eye, when all is well, but it takes heart to face your husband or wife's public sins. Love is the most powerful weapon, given to mankind. It is also the least understood by many. "He that findeth a wife; findeth a good thing."

/cheer Sharon Duncan, you hit the nail on the head.
men having affairs isnt new, and its not one of those 'gee i think ill have an affair today cause i can' things. They happen for a reason, and both men and women have the same reasons, and those reasons take Time to build to the point of action. This is not something that just happens. They are unhappy and or un-fulfilled at home in some way.

The fact that she stood up there is amazing to me. Not because she was forced too, but because she did the one thing that proves to me this country still has a chance. She Stood There With Her Husband!! Way too often people experience a family crisis and toss in the towel, divorce is entirely too easy. Any one who was married to the 'basic' words "Till Death Do Us Part" and accualy ment them. Would have done what she did. She is a well educated, Intelligent person, she made the decision to stand there, no amount of 'momma tought us too' would have made anyone that smart just stand there and take it like a zombie, sorry not buying into that load.

What happens in thier relationship from this point on should be 100% off limits for all news agencies. why? because its called "Private Life" for a reason.

I wish thier family the best through these troubled times.

"People, leave them alone, this blatant sensationalism is what is wrong with news today. My heart goes out to the family."

Amen Jerry, i couldn't have said it better myseld

Exotic escorts during state business trips, $1500.00. A run-away ego, thinks it knows how to game the system. Seeing the expression on your wife's face repeatedly on every news channel as you publically admit guilt to cheating on her, PRICELESS!

Alan doesn’t even listen to Bloom, he is just pissed off because she has a different opinion than his. She doesn’t come across arrogant…he does! It was obvious that Spitzer’s wife was only “Standing next to him” not by him. She had a lot of body language going on!! She looked miserable and you can see a few well-timed glances at him. Oh..and to the guy that said we need to “Grow up” about affairs. This is not about an affair…it is about "illegal/prostitution" and possibly being accused of a felony!

I don't think she is standing by her man. She looks pretty disgusted with his behavior, she's getting in her last digs, and is just as appalled at the reality of what he has been doing as we are interested in the drama of a man who is getting what he deserves. Bless those that have there own, and the ex-Governor sure owns this one.

Since when do we, as public citizens and outlets of the news media, have the right to pass judgment on what Silda Wall Spitzer should do? In this day of sensationalist reporting and the desire to "find the next hot story" to sell newspapers and clicks, I cannot believe that people have the audacity to judge the Spitzer family as they experience a tragic downfall.

If we were really a compassionate American society, we would leave the Spitzer family alone and give them time to grieve and to, ultimately, heal their wounds (if that is even possible). While I consider Gov. Spitzer's actions to be totally deplorable and his resignation the only acceptable outcome, we have no right to bother and harass the Spitzer family any further. LEAVE THEM ALONE!

Clearly, it depends on the way a person is raised, the bond that she has with her husband, the age and need of the children, how much she has to loose emotionally, economically and as status. Cecilia Sarkozy walked away from her husband while he was (and still is) President of France. Both are doing separately fine at this time, and so does France. Hillary Clinton never left her husband even after he repeatedly cheated on her: apparently this aspect of his does not faze her. She must find satisfaction and comfort somewhere else. If a person or spouse is running for office or is in office, it becomes a huge distraction and we, as the NY State or a country, need to ask ourselves if we can afford it. Privately, it is up to Silda and all the cheated spouses to decide to stay by their man or leave. Man have very few incentives to change this behavior in this society. Publicly, I would not call the women who stand by their man role models for other women, but mere survivors: they are the victims of their spouse and until they are able or willing to break that bondage, I cannot recognize them as true public leaders.

I've never understood why every time some guy screws up and humiliates himself, we all devote ourselves to critiquing his wife's behavior. I think it's at least half the reason why the first move in the playbook is to put her up there next to him while he apologizes. Her generosity has 2 major effects: it rehabilitates him and makes her the focus of everyone's criticism. Sweet.

I don't understand why many experts are saying this is normal for her to stand by her man? The guy cheated on her many times with an illegal 22 year old prostitute. He is nothing to write home about with his bald head and big ears! Apparently he has to pay for sex maybe his wife was sick of sleeping with him? It just seems like many psychologists are blaming his wife for him straying. I think he wanted the best of both world and he is pathetic. She should have waited until the press conference and shamed him in front of the world. I think she is staying because of political/social reasons. She'll end up writing a book and appearing on Oprah in a year or so when she does leave.

What I don't get is why women need to stand by their man during humiliating press conferences. I think these cheating guys should take the press on their own.. Men, leave your wives out of this. Be a man and face this on your own.

After all your wives are innocent victims. Men it was your massive egos and poor judgement (or perhaps addictions) that caused this.

If it was my husband I would not stand next to him at a press conference. I am not going to let people think that I would support this type of behavior.

I feel that she should do what she can to help her daughters and herself to get through this difficult time, but I do not see how standing by the man, in public, who hurt and disgraced her is helping this what so ever. He made the mistake, he should be out there alone to feel the full impact. By her standing beside him in public is giving the wrong message to their daughters. That they are to be set in an embarrassing situation so that their husbands can look better in the public eye, no matter what he has done to them. This gives the wrong message that no matter what he does or how much he hurts her or the family she will always be there. That is why so many of these men continue to go down this path, they have such an arrogance that they do not care about anyone but themselves. Why does she have to help him through a difficult time?? He is the one who did this to himself and his family, he should be telling her that he will save her the disgrace and not put her in the forefront.

I personally think.. that adultery is related to a persons character. Spitzer, obviosuly has a sexual addiction that has developed, into the extreme. However.. there is no excuse for money laundering and prostitution is a crime. I also think... it is sad and sick that many men turn to prostitutes and other.. loose women, for sexual acts that are out of the norm, that some women, have no limitation to doing sexually. If I were his wife, for the honor of his daughters and out of self respect and the pain and hullilation he has put me threw, and for the agony of what his daughers will endore in public and school, I would divorce his sick, sorry self, wish him the best recovery for himself, and sue the bastard for every penny he has! Who is to say he even used protection all these times? His wife is putting herself at risk and lowering her values, putting up wih this. He may even go back to this. Sometimes ... addicts can't stop, and do not seriously want to stop. He may tell her he will, but.. that would not be worth risking my life over.

Stand by your cheating husband?

I don't think so! Were these guys standing by their wives and their marriages when they crawled into bed with prostitues? I'm guessing their wives and families weren't on their minds! A man who can take $80,000 away from his family and children and give it to a stranger for sex in my book isn't much of a man,a leader,or husband and definately would not deserve a supportive wife...This wasn't one indiscretion in a marriage during a hard time in their marriage this was countless times of repeated betrayal to his wife,his marriage,his children,and the public that he vowed to represent morally! Women in the past have been "trained" to just accept infadelity as something thats ok and acceptable...it's never ok to indure repeated betrayal and ridicule...

Oh and then there is the whole...subjecting his wife to possibly countless STD's that prostitutes may have due to their abundance of sexual partners! Why would he deserve her support or devotion???

I do not care one way or the other if these women stay with their cheating husbands. I just find it very disgusting that the men would embarass their family and themselves, then expect the woman to stand at their side when they face the public. You can see the pain and anger in their faces. Stay at home and watch the whoremonger on television like the rest of us do. These women are faking the act of standing by their man, for what? If the shoe was on the other foot and a woman had cheated, do you think for one minute that her spouse would stand their looking pathetic and stupid, come on people. Ladies show respect for yourself and your children. Don't pretend by standing there. Everyone would understand if you slapped him upside his head as he spoke arrogantlly as if he did nothing. Charlene

Yeah...I'd stand by my man... with a bat...I'd slap the loser until Max Factor had to come back from the dead to make him look presentable on TV if he was my husband.

I don't think any of us have the right to judge Mrs. Spitzer if she chose to stand by her husband. It's a private matter and she has the right to make her own choice. She chose him as her husband and stood before God and man for better or worst. In the end she has to live with her decission.

Just ONCE I'd like to a wife whose bigshot political husband cheated on her, go to a press conference and publicly humiliate the guy and then throw him out of the house! (it'll never happen)