Soledad,
I think these women go on and do these humiliating press conferences because they are in total shock at what they just learned so they are just going through the motions without even thinking about it. It isn't until later that it probably hits them at what they just did and went through. That is when they probably regret being there and wishing they'd told the men off and left them to deal with it alone.

Cynthia, Covington, Ga.

I agree with you Soledad. I don't know why these humiliated wives stand there before the public, looking so pathetic and adoringly at their spouses. Dina McGreevy was asked that very same question and she didn't answer it to anyone's satisfaction. None of these women are going to be left penniless. Have they no self worth? What ever happened to self-esteem?? I hate to say it, but maybe they deserve what they got because someone has got to "slap them" and wake them from their coma.

Wives stand there because they have to stand there. They have been taught to stand there. Despite what pain and suffering they are feeling they have to do that. Spitzer, like other males, I am sure has some wonderful qualities and I am sure that his wife loves him or did, but probably still does. But Oh the heartbreak that a picture of her generates with her standing beside him. She must be a strong, kind woman. Their family problems, however are theirs to sort through and solve. Their problems are not the public's problems to slander and speculate on for endless hours.

i dont know how these women stand up for these cheating men.... their marriage based on a lie.......then to have her stand next to him while he announces it to the american people wow.........some might say to forgive and forget...........once a cheat always a cheat.........she needs to throw him out like an old shoe.........

Maybe love, forgiveness, honoring marriage vows of for better or for worse, wanting to make it work because it's worth saving even though the media doesn't think so? There are lots of reasons couples stay together when horrible things happen in the relationship. Like someone said before, ask Hillary Clinton. She knows better than anyone what humiliation is like. Her husband was impeached for screwing his intern in the Oval Office. How much worse can it get than that?

I know, maybe you should ask your sex addict specialist who has diagnosed this governor without having conducted five minutes of a clinical interview with him. I bet he could tell you. Really, you do need to find therapists who aren't slaves to Time Warner and will say anything CNN wants.

It's just so nice to know that AC360 has become the voice of morality and human decency in the media. Give me a break! And stop faking concern for Spitzer's wife. If she wasn't a good story for ratings, you all wouldn't give a crap less about her humiliation.

they stand there next to their husbands cause their mother's taught them to. They stand their cause we taught them that its ok for someone cheats we will forgive them even its our most trusted leaders. We have created stupid policies for Equal Rights for woman we say if they cheat stay with them no different than before ERA we just can not picture the world where we all have roles and responsibilities and we just will not live up to any standard anymore since we opened pandora's box we just can not get enough scandals enough people from outside us saying wow american great. not anymore my friends they feel sorry for us. we have failed we no longer are a beacon of hope we are trash. we no better than the tabloids we read. we trash nothing more nothing less. fear mongers hate mongers sex mongers nothing right and when we have something that comes and says lets get back to responsibility we laugh and want to sing camp songs. ashame on us will we never be a respectable nation again. I love my country so much but not the one i see in the paper today its a bad dream i wake up to each day. Love the people of the World so Help me God but you all need a reality check no helper going to come and save us. its in our hands and in our hearts and its better we just get out the tea party stuff and get our country back. revolution/war is the only answer washington understands nothing anymore for the common good slow down on driving no we build suv's and suck more oil. we just create problem after problem and cause my name is not yours no one cares what i say but i know God listens to me. and writing this out makes me feel better. we the people of this county are the losers 400 people make more than the lower 200 million what does that say.says to me i not even welcome in my own country where i have to go along with the flow of what you all want just to put alittle food on my table. i am ashamed wish my grandfather had stayed in denmark today then i would not be in this god forsaken country which says cheaters ok

i dont think they should stand there, u know anderson were are the women when there husbands crying and pleading for some affection or something new,no wonder obama is winning

Okay, so we've asked all the questions, covered all the bases and some of us are already tired of Spitzer. He showed his intelligence when he wanted to license illegals so they could drive. This is the same old story we've heard for years, only the names have been changed but not to protect the innocent. They suffer much more than the guilty.

Why did he do it? Because he wanted too. No other reason, no other explanation. Let's quit making excuses for these fools. Make rules that apply to every government official, from city to federal, and can their butts if the rules are broken. Everyone of them is projecting an image of the voters they represent, and when it's my country I expect an impeccable behavior.

No wonder other countries think we're all sick deviates. All they have to go on are our representatives. Enough already.

Maggie

Hi Soledad,
That was the first thing I thought about. Why would he allow her to be there? Why wouldn't he try to protect her feelings and integrity? Isn't a husband supposed to protect and support his wife? I guess not with him.

What disgusts me more than this woman standing by her “man” is the cnn anchors allowing sexist comments such as those made by Alan Dershowitz to pass on by. I think most people don’t see this case as “victimless” (as Dershowitz put it) when it comes to Spitzer’s family as being victims, but fail to see the prostitute as one. This, in my opionion, is what needs to be changed. No woman in her sane mind enjoys bending over with her panties off for a stranger to to make money. No sane stripper feels that way either. Ask these men if it were there daughter as the prostutite and they’d say she’s not “victimless”. However, any other girl who does it, “oh well, it’s just a woman.”

I am so very tired of women being used as props. Stand by your man is getting pretty old. I could just imagine some guy standing by his woman if the shoe were on the other foot.

It just says volumes about our culture. We, as females, are now just beginning to shed the doormat scenario and what is even more upsetting is that Mrs. Spitzer is an educated woman. And does not think he should resign. Did she know she was married to a man with "special needs" if so that is between them but to stand there next to him during that press conference made me angry. Take it like a man...but let's make you appear to be pitied. Oh please, she could have said simply...NO.

Hi Soledad,
I think the media should report on Spitzer, but leave the speculation out about the wife. Dragging her over the coals, over and over, is disrespectful to Mrs. Spitzer. She did nothing wrong and her decisions going forward are hers alone. This is the time to nip in the bud anymore endless analysis. Just my opinion.

Lorie Ann, Buellton, Calif.

It's that old Patsy Kline song, "Stand By Your Man," or it could be the unbelieveable concept that they actually love their husbands through the good and the bad.

He and his wife probably have a marraige of convenience anyway. Just like Bill and Hillary. I do not believe that a couple can be married that long, and the wife NOT know her husband's sex habits. I believe that many of them look the other way. Otherwise, they would have to give up so much by leaving. Hilary had a plan... and leaving Clinton would NOT have helped her attain her goals.

Remember the politician in Jersey who got caught cheating with a man, and then later admitted he was gay? I think his wife knew all along too.

My feminine perspective is that the wives know... We always know something is going on... we may not know what, but we all the details because it's easier not to know. But they know enough to decide whether to stay or go.

I can assure you I would not be standing by my man. I would be speed-dialing Raoul Felder and kicking my wayward spouse's sorry butt to the curb if I were treated that way. And Dershowitz and Bloom are both wrong in saying that this is a victimless crime. Chief among the victims are the Spitzers' three daughters, and really all women, who are once again shown a total lack of respect for women. How can he raise his daughters to be self-respecting young women when he so disrespects women and uses them for his own benefit? Human beings used as vessels for his sexual proclivities....it is really disgusting and I wonder how can he show his face in public?

C'mon gimme a break. These aren't "normal" women. Any "normal" woman I know would absolutely go "postal" after finding out that they're worthless husband had been unfaithful! I could only imagine what my sisters, mom, grama, aunties would do! It must be something about the money, the fame, the launching of their own political career? I don't know, but standing there like a tree behind your man after he's humiliated you and your family looks ridiculous and probably puts the image of a strong woman back 40 years!

in spitzer's apology (that i heard) he said he apologized to his family. i was wating for him to be more specific and publicly apologize to his wife, especially since she was standing there. he has no class.

I would think that any Harvard educated woman would make up her own mind – I think you discredit Mrs. Spitzer and her intelligence when you assume she was forced to attend the press conference. Perhaps she was there because she wanted to be?

I dont understand what the pannel is talking about. Silda, the governers wife did what she thought was right. What is that lady in the pannel taling about. Its not her business to dictate how families do heir public appearanes. I think she is an arrogant woman who happend to have so much bitterness in her life. I am not saying that the governor was right, he is a moron by cheating his wife – but allow that woman to do what she wants to do.

I agree with your anchor who asserted that it's time for women to make a different choice in the matter of philandering husbands in public roles (such as politics, sports, churches, etc.). On the other hand, it's time for prostitution to be legal, too.

Anderson!

My husband and I love you...truly, madly, deeply. But please! Your team's continual use of the phrase "involved in a prostitution ring" regarding the very stupid and unfortunate Spitzer situation is like saying George Bush is "involved in a systematic plan to murder Iraqis." Spitzer hired sex workers. Apparently on a regular basis. However anyone might view those acts, it's not as if he's the Heidi Fleiss or Sidney Biddle Barrows of the new millennium.

It's just not responsible journalism. You know better. Stop it! Thank you!

Robert Sokol
San Francisco

The wives probably do stand there because they are in shock at the moment and don't know what else to do. I have to disagree with Anderson that they should stand there to keep up the public front or for the sake of the children. It's up to the individual but the husband has obviously shown a total disregard for his wife's feelings so she certainly doesn't need to stand there if she doesn't wish to do so. What is that teaching the children?

Seriously everyone really needs to mind their own business. How she chooses to deal with this problem is her business and her business alone. No one here or on CNN is the moral compass for everybody. I also very much see this as a victim-less crime. This woman was paid very well and an adult. I frankly can't believe this sort of thing is actually illegal.

I totally agree, its a horrible thing for Mrs. Spitzer to set that example of standing by her man when she has three daughters!!!!!!!!!!! Spitzer himself is a weak, weak man, should resign from public life. I didn't stand by my man when he cheated , I had two young boys to raise by myself. Morals are very important.

Though it would be refreshing to see a woman take more of a stand than just a stand-by-her-man style stand when she is thrust into the public eye under such humiliating circumstances. However, it just adds to the degradation when one is belittled for not having an emotional breakdown in front of the entire country. Who knows what goes on when the cameras are turned off?

I am sorry for the Spitzers. Disagree with the woman on right now..Has she ever been in love or married to a man that she loved? Mrs. Spitzer is intelligent. Don't dismiss her heartbreak as politics or anti-feminism.

These women that stand by their men are stupid and have no idea who they are without a man, any man. They need a man so badly that they'll take whatever is dished at them.

These women have no self-identity nor self respect.

I wonder if Silda stood by him because she was in shock and just following old habits. Spitzer should have acknowledged her with a direct apology instead of totally ignoring her. I hope the family can get through this very pubic humiliation and I feel for all of them.

Annie Kate
Birmingham AL

I would like to see one woman in these public cases stand up for herself instead of "standing by her man" particularly when he openly humilates her. What is wrong with these women, don't they have a mind of their own? Do they have any feelings? Why can't they act like a normal women and let the jerks stand there by themselves.
Do you think she knew about it in the first place? I think maybe! They do not help the progress of women.,

Dershowitz is an old fashioned man. He has no scruples and no respect for women. There are victims in this matter. I feel sorry for Dershowitzs' wife (or should I say wives).

i, too, am sooooooooo sick of seeing these wives standing next to their philandering husbands and having them to stay quiet and look like they're "supportive" or having them tell the audience how they're standing by their man! give me a break!... we're in the year 2008, there's something wrong when you have to look at these poor images of wives being trotted out when they are not the perpetrators but another casualty of their husband's stupidity. i think this sharing of their husband's public humiliation is abominable and unfair, and sends a terrible message to young women. Why are these women being trotted out in the limelight when they obviously didn't share in the reckless behavior and incredibly stupid judgement to "self-destruct" and take their families down with them.

I TOTALLY agreed with Soledad. Whatever decisions these women make regarding their marriages is certainly their own business, but WHY would they stand there being supportive of this kind of behavior? As for their children, what message is she sending to her daughters? It's okay?
It's not okay. As a another mother with daughters, I found her "supportive" behavior almost as disgusting as the man she was standing next to.

The kids are the victim here!!! Mrs. spitzer is a classy lady but shame on her for standing by him when he shamed her so badly, he showed his true colors!!! shame shame on him for doing this to his beautiful family!

I would have been home supporting my three daughters and having the locks changed.

I admire every woman who can stand up no matter what the circumstances are for their children, their mariage and their family in general.

It is no "outsiders" business to judge.

Look at Mrs. Clinton, she is the strongest and brightest woman in my book. She did stood alongside his man, she has a lovely doughter, and I believe as a president she would stand by all American's. I believe her perseverence and hard work would bring America's good reputation on the world and a great economy back the country. Please know, I don't believe the same about Obama. Sorry...

About myself. I did not stand by my husband, I left him when I got convinced that he cheated on me. Do I regret my hastiness today? The answer is "YES".

Most men and women today are the same, sex is a game. We all watch TV don't we?
Many of those who are condamning these men and women should look at themselves first...

God bless you Anderson. I really like your "360"

so now women in these situations are bad for sticking up for her husband ?

Get them when they are down....

Wifes stand there becasue these women respect thier vows. Maybe they don't know exactly what to do. Some have children and should sit back and see what can be done for the sake of the children. Do they need to bring additional sadness to thier kids. Women with Children react different than women without children. Those that have children usually want to protect their children in their sorrow, therefore do not make changes so quickly, some stand next to their husbands becuase they are forgivign, maybe they feel they need their husbans. However no matter what they do it should be what they think its best for them and their family..No one should judge!

Mrs. Spitzer said at her wedding "...for better or worse, until death do us part" and she obviously meant it! She made a public commitment at her wedding and she upheld that commitment standing next to him. It doesn't mean she approves, it only means she's committed to him. I applaud her for her commitment in times of trouble.

I have a girlfriend who just went through the same thing, and I am so proud that she is choosing not to put up with it. She's beautiful inside and out, intelligent, creative, courageous, etc. – the same as Mrs. Spitzer. I would love to see women stop being humilated in order to show their strength.

Ladies – if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

Once a cheater, always a cheater!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do they stand there? A question by someone with no knowledge of Eliot Spitzer's life. His job? A thankless job that required him to work alone. He worked tirelessly to bring a large group of arrogant, devious Wall Street psychopaths to justice, with many more still living in fear of the Spitzer tentacles. Does anyone know the pressures to bear on Spitzer in his high profiile life, or on his family, or how his family reacted to these pressures?

Do some research on his family life, then on the prostitution rings operating in the U.S.A.. and how widely spread they are in the hands of criminals. Then research when and why they were outlawed.

Then got off of Spitzer's back

He committed the the adultery alone, he should have to stand and apologize alone and pray to god she can find it in her, as well as his daughters to forgive him. Never mind needing time to "regain his family's trust"

Marriage vows are a two way contract. Mrs. Spitzer is under no moral obligation to honor her vows after he husband has so egregiously violated his side of the contract.

Personally I don't feel a society has the right to judge Mrs. Spritzer.
Mr. Spritzer is guilty of the scandal, his wife is in no way responsible for his actions irregardless of what they are and should not be judged based on her reactions to the same.

It is Mrs. Spritzer's perrogative to handle this situation as she sees fit. She is the only one who can determine what is best for her and her daughters. Therefore, our views as a collective society are meaningless and unneeded.

Mrs. Spritzer and her daughters need respect and support at this difficult time not views of how others might handle this situation.

It is easy when not faced with the situation to have an opinion on how it should be handled. However, it is the person that is in the situation that will have to deal with the consequences of their decisions and actions not those who can offer their views, turn off their computer, and return to life as usual.

It begs the question as to how far we have slipped in society when being loyal to our sacred marriage vows "in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad" is seen as a weakness!

I wish Mrs. Spritzer and her daughters all the Best. And commend Mrs. Spritzer for her courage in a very difficult time.

I want to address what the young woman on the program said about the "women" of public men standing by their men.
Consider. The woman was not elected, her husband was. IF she has enjoyed the life and privilege of the First Lady, as this woman clearly did as seen in the photos you have show about this story, then she shouldn't run and hide when things get tough.
And while I think we all have a right to our opinions, the young woman's stance showed to me just an incredible lack of a moral compass, something that is a serious problem in this country.
That woman stood by her man because it was and is the RIGHT thing to do. Especially if they have children.
As they said from the start, for better and worse.

I am so tired of these women "standing by their man". When are these men going to stand by their women!!! Why is Spitzer's wife leaning into him with adoring eyes, dressed in the Mother Theresa blue & white! It is ridiculous. This man has done more than "cheated". He has exposed his 3 daughters & wife to the criminal element of hookers & pimps. How about aids & any number of other diseases? All because he just can't keep it zipped up. Just once I want one of these wives to say I do not support & respect what you have done. You have dealt a selfish to your whole family, Just once!!! Why do these wives support these humiliating acts. I do not understand how any person with an ounce of self worth would support that.
I have to add, i wanted to jump through the screen at that ignorant male lawyer on the show last night. Lisa Bloom was right on and I was thrilled to hear some one finally ask why these women support these loser men.
I think Spitzer should have his hooker & pimp buddies have thoses adoring looks on stage with him. That's what he wants. I cannot respect any wife who would approve of such behaviors, shame on her. Her poor daughters, why can't theses idiots think of them...... just once......

Lest we not forget the Bill Clinton scandal...didn't Hilary stand by her man?

I think women stand by their men for the simple reason that they are their man, or was.
These women know that the end has come and the strength it takes to stand alongside the humiliated husband and public servant should be commended, not derided.
For another woman to comment on the humiliation of the wife of Gov. Spitzer, says more about her than about Spitzer's wife.

I think the news media gets annoyed with the wives remaining silent and attending the disgraced husband's news conference because it cuts the media out of getting more dirt.

I would assume that most women in that position would be thinking of the impact this will have on their children. It would be hard enough for kids to find out that their father is leading a double life, but having the parents split up on national TV would only make it worse.

Just imagine if Mrs. Spitzer had not shown up for the press conference. There would be cameras following her every move (they probably are already) waiting for her to slip up and give us the headline of the day.

It is also very insulting to her (and the others) to portray them as pathetic saps who have no other choice than to cling on to their husbands. She is obviously highly intelligent – she knows what she is doing and has her own reasons.

Leave Mrs. Spitzer alone (and PLEASE enough with the Tammy Wynette references). She is not an elected official – she has a right to privacy and a right to handle this in her own way.

.

Why do wives put up with this disrespect? Because some women go through their whole life never being anything else but an appendage of their husband.
I'm 58 yrs. old and I still can't believe some of the double standards that continue. Some VERY intellegent women feel that saying anything negative about their spouse is considered disrespectful. Even when it is clear the husband treats them like a child instead of an equal. Some men seem to like the family structured in a way that the wife takes the place of his mother and the women seem to fall into this sick role. Wake-up sisters ! If your his mommy he"ll be screwing someone else. I am personally repulsed and sick of watching women being used as props in any kind of setting. Bussiness or politics. Not to mention all of these talentless bimbo celebs.
So this idiot is showing his daughters what value he has of the female gender and his trained seal of a wife let's her daughters down
by not having a spine. I'm starting to wonder what the real percentage
of men are who are not living some double life. You know, when their not busy destroying the word with wars and genocide., or tapping their foot in bathroom stalls. How sad is it that I have come to a point in my life that I would NEVER let my grandchildren alone with any male .
That I would never want them in any situation regarding a priest.
Note to women who are getting into more powerful positions...If you are just going to act like a egotistical self-centered greedy jerk than that is not doing the women's movement a damn bit of good.
Women's qualties may be different then men (thank god) but they are the qualities that are lacking and go unrewarded in society

I agree with Anonymous above who said

" What disgusts me more than this woman standing by her “man” is the cnn anchors allowing sexist comments such as those made by Alan Dershowitz to pass on by"

That is one of the reason that women have so much trouble getting their voices heard – we are always having male authority figures over shout us – regarding "their opinion".

Silda Spitzer's decision to "Stand by her man" – was her decision. Lisa Blooms' and Soledad O'Brien's comments suggesting that she needed some female support with the message that Silda doesn't have to act as if this confession was acceptable to her may be just what she needs to finally find her voice, about her brilliant – but – two-faced husband, and stand up to him and the minions who tell her to stifle her feelings – for the sake of – what? Her children? Her marriage? Her political future? Certainly not for the sake of her self-esteem.

Let the women in the audience register there disgust with this situation! I'm sure Silda will eventually – in her own way.

Maybe we as women should not be so quick to judge other women's marriages and what they do about them. The women who are so quick to judge need to walk a mile in other shoes. I find it unbelievable that any woman would place judgement on another for something they are not privy to. How would you like to be judged by other women on the way you deal with your marriage. To me it is like speaking poorly of another persons mother. You just do not do it!

I'm waiting for the day when one of these guys gives one of these stupid press conferences (without the wife), where he has two black eyes and ends his little speech with "and honey, if you're listening, can I please come home now?".

They stand there to look meek, weak, and powerless. That's not any "real women" I know. Especially after being humiliated in front of the entire country! They need to grow a backbone.